So many woman only understand men’s hunger for food. They would never let him starve of food, but making sure his sexual hunger is taken care of is often neglected. Personally I think there is a correlation between breast cancer and prostate cancer: I think they are both caused from lack of use.
If you're hot, smart and feminine, treat a guy well and take care of him ... he'll never cheat. If he does then he has major issues that are not related to you.
I agree 100%. However, if you are a couch potato that doesn’t carry about her appearance, doesn’t treat her man with respect and appreciation, he is more likely to cheat or simply find a new woman.
That is 100% not true! Pamela Anderson, Kim Kardashian, Sandra Bullock, models, supermodels & more have been cheated on. I realized when I saw all these beautiful people getting cheated on that it has ZERO to do with being fit or beautiful. So that theory has been totally debunked!
I think you guys need to rethink what a “good wife” actually means. A man cheats when he desires to feel a specific way that he believes he’ll feel through a sexual encounter with another woman. And then finds himself in an opportunity to get that particular itch scratched. In a longterm relationship, a smart woman will start to observe what those feeling states her man seems to be aroused by and will strive to make him feel those things. It’s not merely about being sexually available; it’s about learning what genuinely pushes his buttons and meeting him there again and again. To answer the question, “Will my husband cheat?” the intelligent partner would diligently pursue the answer to the next question, “What kinds of feminine energy is he most drawn to?” and then figure out with him how to provide him with them. The smart man will also become aware of what he wants so he can communicate it to her. And he will seek to please her as well by pursuing the things that he’s observed most frees her to feel feminine, carefree, and joyful.
You are 💯 correct in that if a woman treats her husband as you do, the likelihood of him cheating is almost zero. I say almost zero bc there are some guys who are just dogs, but it is unfortunate.
1 vote for this as the best answer. It's push and pull. A. He's pulled back home every night because, gosh darn it, every man loves that kind of treatment. and B: He's pushed back home every night knowing, with near certainty, that every girl in the world will treat him worse than you do.
My wife was horrible and treated me like crap, she even moved a young mom and her son in without getting my intake. I had opportunities to cheat with her but I never took the bate. My decision not to cheat had nothing to do with her, I’m just not that kind of man
@@roberthermann97 I wanted to after the first year, I’m a Christian and according to Scripture unless there was adultery we couldn’t divorce. It finally got bad enough that I suffered a nervous breakdown, got help and they helped me threw the Divorce
@@Kodeeni Glad you got through it in the end at least. If I wasn't clear before, I agree with you about the decision to cheat not having anything to do with her, it's who we are that matters in that decision.
The short answer to your question is it is a bit of both. If you picked your guy well, and treat him well, the likelihood of cheating is next to nil. If you picked your guy poorly (i.e. a guy who has cheated in previous relationships), there is a good chance he would cheat even if you treated him well. If you treat any guy poorly, there is a good chance he would eventually run into a woman who treats him better, making cheating all but inevitable. In short, if you want to reduce the risk of being cheated on to almost zero: pick your man well (i.e. has strong values) and treat him well.
People married for a long time tend to become "comfortable" in their relationships. They say things to one another that they would NEVER have said during the Newlywed stage. Don't let little rude comments or actions go unchallenged just to keep the peace. If you do it will only happen more often. Keeping that respect between each other is crucial, show love, apologize, try not to go to bed angry. People generally cheat when they feel unappreciated or ignored, and along comes the stranger who makes them feel good again. There are no guarantees in life, promises get broken, people are imperfect. Enjoy each other every day you are together. The past is gone, tomorrow hasn't arrived. All you have is today. ❣
I would say 90% of men will not cheat. The 10% will because they have $$$$. To a man he can love his wife and still do the deed. If a woman cheats its like premeditated murder. Meaning she checked out of the relationship months before she did.
I can honestly say that after 23 years of unbroken trust i could never have imagined just how great my marriage would be. It builds over time for sure.
What a great way to frame the question, Jennifer. My answer involves critiquing gender neutral wedding vows. We aren’t promising to give the other person what they really need but instead use general vague terms that aren’t honoring our distinct drives and motivations. For example, I need sex in a variety of emotional states. I need it when I’m happy, I need it when I’m certain kinds of sad, and yes I need it when I’m angry. I need it when I feel victorious and I need it when the world kicks me in the teeth. I need sexually physical demonstrations of love while I’m on my way fighting to provide her with the things she said are of import TO HER. So, I think that we get hung up on this stupid idea that marriage means ONLY not having sex with anyone else, but there’s absolutely no vow about providing reliable access to good sex. In other words, it’s considered breaking the marriage for having sex with someone else, but it’s not breaking any vow for failing to please your partner with sex. I don’t think it’s unreasonable to want to find out what types of feminine energy speaks to him and learning to speak his language. And you’ll have to negotiate how far you’re willing to bend to what he wants. If you weeded out a lot of bad men, the good man will have fairly reasonable requests. But if he has kinks, you’re gonna want to figure out what he really needs and work them out WITH him. And every part of his heart that longs to be scratched (that is undiscovered, ignored, or unredeemed) is just waiting for the right circumstances. It is in high danger of being scratched by someone else who offers it. He’ll even still feel he’s in love with you and provide you with the rest of what he vowed in marriage. But if you don’t want that outcome, dive deep and become his sexual Genie. Not just with physical positions but roles and characters you can both play. Learn about the emotions he wants to feel and take him there. That’s what I really think. It sure ain’t politically correct nor should kids read this. But for adults, come on. Is anything I’m saying not possibly true?
Dude, it's not just about you. Read your response: "My sex, my sex, my sex" You are WAY too focused on sex. Take a chill pill, and climb down off your pedestal.
Ha ha ha, I used to think like you did. That marriage was all about what I could give, not what I could get, etc. But I’ve learned in life that the secret to any good relationship, sexual or otherwise, is one where each party is clear on what they themselves want from the other person, and what they are willing to provide for what the other person wants. The clearer each party is on what they want, the better both parties can negotiate and find an equilibrium. The more each party feels like they are “taking one for the team,” the more resentment can fester and grow. Certainly sacrifices are required throughout a long term relationship. But the fundamentals are: you have something I want, I want to provide something you want. And you work out the details together. Lack of awareness of what each party wants is a huge reason why people are miserable and marriages end. Not to mention, my dude, but she was specifically asking if it’s really up to fate or if she can have any reasonable expectation that she can keep her man happy with what she does. What’s your solution to her question?
@@robhulson That person isn't going to answer, because you're entirely correct. It's just not popular to say. In todays climate, in western culture that is, you're not supposed to even talk about what what a man needs, or rather, about what a woman should do.
I highly recommend Shirley Glass's book "Not Just Friends." It was her life's work studying infidelity and she wrote about the modern face of infidelity. It really can be all about the opportunities, because it is "shared intimacy, secrecy, and natural sexual tension" that leads down the path to cheating. If you or your partner is sharing intimate details about your life and especially about your existing relationship with someone of the opposite sex, then you are "not just friends" already. The explosion of women in the workplace led to the first big jump in infidelity rates, then social media and easy, secret communication led to the second great jump.
The rule I have with my wife is all men that are able to cheat cheat. I looked at her eyes and asked her do I been the guy I am do I deserve the chance to cheat. She answered after that I told her. Every day that I don’t cheat is a gift that you have earn. Most women think they deserve not to be cheated but they forget that we can cheat and every day we don’t is because we love you and we don’t want to hurt you. We go against our nature to be loyal. That’s love that’s loyalty
No matter how well you treat one another, cheating is always a possibility. It’s rare that a romantic relationship last forever but hope for the best and know that you’ll survive if it doesn’t.
If your with a man who truly loves you and has integrity. He will not cheat on you even if you have lots of trouble in your life . A smart man knows that the grass is not greener on the other hill. A woman with your qualities would be a diamond 💎 in the rough . Great topic ! A good man does not cheat on his wife or if not married his girlfriend also .
Having been married almost 30 years my obsrevation would be that there are times when any couple is vulnerable. However if you define cheating for what it is, a sin against God, your spouse, and your own body, and live with the determination that cheating and divorce are not options, and don't allow yourselves to be put in tempting circumstances, and be part of a community of people which support that view as well as provide a social consequence if you fail, you can pretty much stifle that urge when it rears it's head. That being said treating each other as you have described is a pretty sure way to keep that temptation from arising. Prevention is worth a pound of cure.
I believe that it mostly depends on the character of the man. I am not treated well by my wife but I will not cheat because my integrity is everything to me. My integrity is who I am.
I am generalizing here. Cheaters tend to think very short term. Different car every couple of years. They want to move to different places. Get a different job; be around other people. It doesn't matter if you are meeting their needs from your perspective. Their needs can't be met..
Solo father of 3 amazing girls here. I'm raising my girls to be traditional women. I mean traditional in the real meaning of traditional. There's no doubt in my mind that they will be thousands of miles ahead of these head rolling, loud, obnoxious, entitled, feminist (so called women) in our society today. I am confident that when the time is right, that these girls will easily be led to good traditional men and will be very well provided for, guided and protected. In turn, these amazing girls will provide a comforting home, be an excellent help mate and meet the needs of their husband. At 16, 12 and 10 they are well on their way and are excited about one day being able to be the woman God intended them to be and that the right man deserves them to be. These woman are very rare but are the real 1% women and a true 10!
Unfortunately, you cannot decide this, they will decide for themselves when they grow up. These are not dogs, no matter how you train them, they will eventually live by the values they have developed.
Personally, I think it's a game of numbers. I think, given enough opportunities with enough pressure, anyone can end up cheating. I think too many people consider themselves impervious, just too 'morally superior' to even have to worry about cheating. But it really is a numbers game, and I think both partners have to have enough respect for one another to try and avoid as many of those cheating-adjacent situations as possible. It's not about 'don't you trust me?!' but about showing one another your commitment to each other above all others.
It's not just a game of numbers. As someone else on here put it, if he has unmet needs over a long enough time frame which someone else offered to meet, then he's vulnerable. Women do this to other women all the time, see a guy who's got great attributes and not being looked after in his relationship, they will compete for and try and steal that man
@@mgm6708 I don't see how that makes it 'not a game of numbers'. I'm saying that everyone is vulnerable to cheating given enough opportunities because, as you said, some people will compete for and try and steal them. That competition doesn't require someone 'not being looked after' either, it only makes them an easier target. But those in happy relationships are also targeted, and also vulnerable to cheating.
@@mgm6708 And my point is that it doesn't matter whether he's happy or not, satisfied or not; there are people out there that will pressure others to cheat, and the more situations you allow yourself to be in where cheating is a possibility, the more likely it is that you will cheat. It is a numbers game.
Perhaps too many do think themselves impervious, but otoh, a thief thinks everyone is a thief, of one kind or another. It is definitely not the case that anyone can end up cheating. Leaving is also a choice, when all else has failed.
How well you treat a man does play a big role, but it sure helps if he has very few opportunities with other women. A long lasting marriage typically happens when a couple both loves each other and spends most or all of their time together. No chance = no cheat.
I think age/maturity has a lot to do with it - youngsters often don't realize what they have till they've lost it, nor do they have the empathy to truly understand the hurt they cause when cheating on someone. Combine that with hormones, a more reckless sense of adventure and an out of control, sin loving media and you've got yourself a recipe for romantic disaster. I cheated on someone once and regret it to this day - I will NEVER do so again, regardless of whether my partner "does it for me" in the ways I like but especially not if they hit my sweet spot. Life experience and capacity for introspection goes a long way in terms of fidelity.
Age/maturity have a TON to do with it. Once you mature, you get greater control over your impulses and you greater perspective. As men, we also slow down at bit as we age. Also, a lot of modern women aren't exactly that tempting. A lot of them are promiscous which is a turnoff to a man that has matured..
With respect, if you don't have a nuanced and grey love life, then you're either extremely naive or extremely sheltered. Probably both. You'd like to think that the media is out to destroy love and romance, but it's actually encouraging trial by error and learning from mistakes to find coherence in a grey world. Religion does seem to enshrine naivetee, ignorance, and that's why I do hate religion, but that's for me. I don't mind religious people liking marriage, but please don't pretend that fear has anything to do with love or tradition or maturity. It's just nothingness and fear of somethingness. Religion has nothing to do with love, marriage or tradition. It's just to preserve the lie of self-importance because religious leaders don't know how to live out of their bubble of self-importance. You either know how to live or you don't. And it seems to me to be clear that religious leaders are only afraid of their wallets getting lighter and that they don't give a damn about people, love, or tradition.
It's 90% morals and self-respect of the guy for himself and 10% whether the woman meets his needs. My desire to live a life that pleases God and to be able to life with myself prevented me from cheating even when I was married to a cheater. The last 10% is whether the woman becomes so emotionally unattractive that his imagination opens the door to someone who reminds him how it feels to be treated well.
Im old enough to be your husband so I feel very qualified to answer this. If you TRUELY honor him and you are sweet or semisweet to him and (dont be critical of him) and dont occasionally mention some dude or film star or athlete that you think is just amazing (men hate that shit) but they wont tell you. Feed him, xxxx him, and keep a nice home-(thats your job!) and dont turn sour with time. His body and libido will fade with age but dont let on like you notice it. You are not 18 anymore either and I doubt he reminds you of it. Give him dignity and respect. remember women want love but men want respect! Do this and you will last till death do you part. If you do those things, he wont cheat with some younger hotter girl. I dont care how hot she is, if you keep his (needs) met as often as necessary , he wont cheat. men to that when they dont get what they want at home. give him what he needs at home and he wont leave home. Im a man and Im telling you that is what we all want!
So, my opinion, as an unhappy husband who has *NOT* cheated due to concept of basic right/wrong is that if someone does not have this very, very strict boundary that you are correct in the thought that if you treat your husband like garbage he will cheat. In my case, my wife treats me like crap but doesn't want a divorce. Strange. Anyhow, unhappy, but won't cheat. But you are definitely mostly correct and on to something.
Sometimes it feels as if life is really just a Pichinko machine and if everything falls into the right spots at the right time that anybody is capable of doing the wrong thing in spite of knowing the negative outcome. In the modern era there is no well-defined line that people feel they would never cross. Before "No Fault" divorce was a thing the courts and the community could look at the bad actor say "You dropped the ball, you booted the pooch, and now you have to pay the price". And that price would be both financial and social. The cheating spouse would either have to pay up in the divorce if he was a man, or possibly lose custody and be without support if it was the woman. Either party was generally shunned by the community they lived in and would be forced to relocate and hope their past didn't follow them. We've removed the incentive to follow the rules and replaced it with coercion to break the rules..
If you treat a man with kindness, respect, emotional support and you tend to his physical needs, he’s not going to cheat. If he does, it’s his loss, not yours.
For me, whether I cheat doesn't have anything at all to do with how my wife treats me. I don't cheat because that's how I promised, not because of anything I think or feel or anybody else says or does or doesn't do. I can imagine situations in which I would have to separate from my wife, but while she's alive I won't get involved with another woman--again, because that's what I promised, not because of anything I think or feel or anybody else says or does or doesn't do. If she cheated on me, I would lay it personally at her feet; I wouldn't tar all women--or any other women--with it. But she won't, any more than I will. She's a good, solid 1946 vintage, from back when they made them with their heads screwed on straight.
@@L-Cool Heh--nice try. We're married: we know each other's passcodes in case of emergency--and just for convenience as well. We also know each other's duress codes. I'm more technical than she is, so she frequently gives me her phone to diddle some obscure setting for her. First, we've been married for too many decades to be interested in playing those kinds of games. Second, we're from a different time--a time when different things were important.
The biggest factor is the man. In a dysfunctional relationship, a noble man will end the relationship and then begin the search for a new woman (these men are rare, and if they've rejected you, you certainly suck). There are men who will cheat no matter how well his woman treats him. Most men are in the middle, where they will look elsewhere, only if they are unappreciated, and will do so whilst inside the relationship (I'm assuming all these hypothetical men are fine, interpersonally). One caveat to note is that if the husband has a side chick, it doesn't mean he's cheating, he's just sating his libido (but is still 100% committed to his wife). It's only when he starts to buy the side-chick cars, jewellery, expensive gifts, that the cheating is real (in that the side-chick may displace the wife). The vast majority of side-chicks fail to displace the wife, and she is not a problem if all he spends on her is the hotel money, and cheap restaurants for their extra marital activity. When a woman cheats, the relationship is 100% finished, and when sleeping with her husband, will feel as though she is cheating on her new boyfriend (if you can imagine).
This is like asking if I will have a car accident on the way to work. There are things we can control and things we cannot. We can make sure we sleep well, maintain the car, check the tires etc but in the end it’s a calculated risk. Bottom line is, this is a way to fulfill a human need to pay the mortgage and buy groceries. We all mitigate risk and try to keep it to a minimum but in the end we are still going to make the trip to work. I would say route choice and the type of vehicle may be the most important factor…
Been married about 10 years. Have a brother that cheated on his wife after 20 years and left her after he revealed (now with the new girl) but my thing is just don't put yourself is stupid situations and you will never have to worry about the temptation. My bro had a lot of friends as girls and eventually it caught up. Me, I don't need any friends as girls as I have my wife. So I stay right away from opposite sex. IMO that's a big key. Now on the other hand I don't think my wife would ever but u never really do know, crazier things happen. (she also doesn't have male friends). But If she did after all of this. that would be a wrap for me and trusting women. And I have been cheated on in past relationships but also had some low class partners.
32 years here, no cheating on both side, my wife is crazy and so am I. We treat each other like friends and thats it. I trust her and she trusts me and we both know it.
I am with you, about not being able to give advise as my second wife broke the rules I had for her, but she didn't break the rules for herself. I, 90 percent raised her kids from 4 y/o to 11 and when her kids could start making decisions for themselves, I was out in her mind. But I lost all trust in single women with in 20 years of my age, as I started to pay attention to what is going on in today's world. I will get my divorce sometime this next month and stay content with me and my hobbies. I fell for a really attractive blonde. My fault to fall for a pretty one. But I also got fat. So, it was all my fault. But I am good now. She wants back in, but a few got to take it for some rides and I prefer well taken care of and looked after, not put away after a lot of testing. 😂
It wasn't "all your fault". You were at fault for failing in some aspects of your marriage, but not at fault for your partner stepping out. That decision is on them. Stay strong.
@@roberthermann97 agree, it want all my fault. But I like to look at it as it was. I am taking 100 percent responsibility for me. She likes to state 100 percent on me. She is now on to her 3rd marriage looking for a pension and security with her now 45 and showing a lot of age in the last two years trying to play hard to secure a man for her last bit of life she has left between the sheets. Live at the beach and was fit till I got hurt last year, but making my way back. 2 motorcycles and I will be fine. Done with the hobby of women. Spend the rest on me now. Played twice with marriage. I will retire with the hot wife.
I was married for 17 years. I have been cheated on from a previous girlfriend, but not in my marriage. My perspective is that at a person's core, they are either susceptible to cheating or they not. I look at it similar to happiness: you cannot make your husband happy, he is either happy or not. Of course, you can contribute to his moods, but he owns it. Ultimately, you are either a potential cheater or you are not, because cheating has to do with the value system you have accepted individually. i don't buy the "she drove him into another woman's arms," because you cannot. If he is an adult, he makes his own decisions based on his values. If he cheats, he actually does not believe in marriage, at least as it has been traditionally understood. A person who believes in their marriage will take steps early to maximize mature communication channels to quickly foster trust and belief in their spouse. Glad to see you back Jennifer, I haven't seen your videos in a while.
You know what I find amusing about the Rome series? It's representative of a generational gap that is a connection between their generation and mine is that they had an equal amount of educators as I have today, with different spiritual infrastructure. That's the bridge between their generation and mine. They have mysterious advisors in their past that aren't relevant to me, and I have interim advisors between their present and my present that they didn't have access to. It seemed to create a fold in space time like a worm hole that connected their time and me in my time. Proof of use of modern physics in ancient and modern times. It's how I fell in love with Rome. And so I gained access to the most ancient of Fung Shui wisdom before anyone else, even before you Jamie. You wrote more about it, and probably explored it's infrastructure use more than me, but I got there first due to my cultural heritage. As proof look at the Etruscan use of grave design of married couples sitting upright as though at home, and the use of Scipio in the Rome series when he rubbed his cup to think. I do feel that Fung Shui is Roman originally before it became an Eastern practice. The benefit of me having a direct line to my cultural roots allowed me a sense of unearned home that is still cherished by my honor and their honor, honor being defined as being an adult who accidentally forms relationships with other adults that transform into cups that hold honor naturally. Individualism and honor is the same thing. Individualism is the cup, being human is what honor serves, and the water of honor is felt with loving relationships formed at random. Honor is my deepest ethic and wisdom. Even more than love itself. Love can't exist without honor. And that's been a problem for what women need, because compassion isn't enough. Women need to lead honorable lives to be equal to men. Romantic and erotic love between man and woman is a lot more rare, and so saying that honor is necessary but not sufficient for the highest standard of love isn't an insult to love. This allows for love and the highest quality of love. Honor comes first, and love comes second, because, paradoxically, romantic love is more important love needs the proper and most glorious pillar. Strength. Honor. Devotion. Selfishness with the illusion of selflessness. For with love and honor is the ability to lie honorably.
Naturally, the give and take in a relationship carries a lot of weight. The manner in which each of you shows your love, respect, and desire to care for the other is significant, and goes a long way to building trust. That said, some people [ men and women ] are damaged goods. They lack the emotional stability and psychological maturity that are the foundation of a strong marriage. That lack cannot be corrected by a spouse alone. The shopworn adage " you complete me " is a fallacy. Each of us must be complete in order to build a lasting relationship with someone else. I agree with you in that, having given my word of commitment to another person, should they violate our bond of integrity, it can never be restored. My integrity is the one thing that cannot be taken from me, I have to surrender it of my own volition. Really enjoy your channel, your man is blessed to have you.
There's a lot of words down there, but I don't see a moral core when it comes to the subject of cheating, just a lot of expectations without true structure and inevitably hurt feelings without people having a clue about how to love properly. I've never met anyone who hasn't cheated or who won't inevitably cheat someday or people who just became bitter and cold with their "faithfulness" as an empty trophy of fake moral "superiority." Whining about cheating and faithfulness is the last refuge of the incompetent. Thank you for bringing this up, Jennifer. It's a pet thesis of mine for my research for a Master's thesis and potential PhD dissertation.
Dissertation? Lol, you're going to go that far just to (try to) prove others aren't any better than you, when it comes to morals? When clearly there are those that are.
That's one element of who I am. So don't presume to know my motives just because you watched the Dark Knight once. I have a photographic memory. "The joker wanted to prove"... etc. I'm not a child who puts his identity in movies, perhaps unlike you. And if morality is only about power for you, then clearly I'm more moral than you, even though I didn't make this about that. But to be honest with you, I've been surrounded by women that I love and that lvoe me back, but are unavailable. Now you tell me which is more respectful, to get what I can without demanding that others be with me, or whine about how unfair the world is? And I don't hate you personally. I don't know you, but an ignorant response does imply that you might hate yourself.
Lilith/Nicole is the goddess of fighters. Did you know that she was the only person to ever stand up to the Satanic fantasy Goat and live to come back and tell the tale? Of course, respect is still the language of the land, so just being impressive won't win you any friends. But there's no better person in the world in my opinion. So you're right. I'm not the best person in the world, but I'm the wisest. But just being wise won't win friends either, unless one knows how to party with friends. So lighten up. And I may not be the best person in the world Robert, but I know for damn sure that neither are you.
I would say that most men never intend to be unfaithful but situations and opportunity can cause bad decisions, most that they regret. It isn't that all men are weak but immaturity makes them selfish and thoughtless and a spot decision driven by desire are often too overpowering to allow wisdom. I have been married for 38 years and I have been faithful to my wife but I have many friends who have made mistakes due to alcohol, bad timing, or they just needed to feel desirable to a woman again, sexual gratification is a driving factor in most men's psyche and it is very difficult to manage at times. None of this is meant to be an excuse, an oath to remain faithful to ones partner should be our guide but weakness is always present and a beautiful, willing woman is difficult to resist.
Trust and respect for your significant other is earned by the actions they take towards you. Something my first and second live-ins didn't seem to understand. Don't be reckless with other people's hearts, Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours
I think thats one of those topics that could be so complex like how Ned Stark from game of thrones series was really just trying to protect his nephew. Probly even deeper the reason tyrion went to another land.
I cheated on 1 girlfriend & never cheated again. It was an opportunity & I pounced. I broke up with that girlfriend soon after, because, I knew that I cheated out of my boredom with her. When the intimacy (any & all forms) slows, stops, etc...I leave the relationship. I value myself & cheating instead of leaving, is cheating myself!
Jen, the answer depends on TWO things: 1. His ability to appreciate & respect himself. If he first knows HIS OWN value, then he has the ability to appreciate & respect you. 2. How you treat him. So now the only question that matters is, do YOU think he will cheat?
Thank you Jennifer it's so good to see you back....ok a first it not your fault if he cheated on you. .its his character faults.. When Jessica was alive...those 6 year and 8month we was together marriage...no way I would have ...there not a nother woman on this earth could have get me away from her...and jess told me if something happened to me...she would never move on ...so it people and there issues
It's both. How he is, and how you treat him. Hard to say which is the stronger factor. But there're a few follow-up questions: - Will YOU cheat? - If he cheats, what would you do? - if you chat, what would he do? - How much does his potential cheating actually matter to you? - How much does your potential cheating actually matter to him?
It's the type of guy he is. If I am ever poorly treated, no matter how poorly, I will not become one of those people who cheat no matter how tempting the opportunity. If the spouse cheats, distrust does not fall on men or women, it falls on the cheater. Only a fool would step out on a good woman...
Miss Jennifer if you treat your husband with respect and love as you say the chances of him cheating approaches zero. We have to renew our love in a relationship each day and when you do you create a barrier against temptation. Be secure in your feelings...don't doubt. Men dislike being doubted when they are faithful.
He probably won’t, but if he does, he’s not too bright. You’re a lovely woman that makes a good partner. You would have no blame or responsibility in the matter.
There are plenty of people who have said "The police are so dumb. I'll never get caught." Yet, prisons are full of people. The same insane thinking happens in marriage. You have to be aware of reality and choose another who has the same ability.
0:51 Supposed it's up to the type of man he is, and not how you treat him. Let's say for a second that's the case. You can still give at least one advice to the other women - choose your man wisely! I think this is a very important advice anyway. If you choose a liаr and a cheat for a partner, you are doomed, no matter how you treat that person.
Some guys cheat, some don’t. Most don’t cheat because of anything to do with their girl. It’s just standard operating procedure. Very few do this due to neglect in a relationship. .
When men “cheat” it is either for recreation or because they love more than one woman but there is no intention to harm. When women cheat, they’ve lost respect for the man they are with and the intention is to hurt him emotionally by disrespecting him in the worst way possible. Men can love more than one woman. A woman can’t love more than one man.
It depends on the guy that he is and what satisfaction you are giving him. His emotional well being with you also. If he is normal, meaning not stapled with NPD or any other disorder, you should be fine. It really depends on who he is and what you mean to him
Kammellioo I just wanted to point out the potential projection in your comment, and wanted to note that you still are (and always will be) the only person that liked your comment.
@@kammellioo "Dime a dozen" Im curious how many men "stapled with NPD" cheated on you? Are you speaking from personal experience or just projecting? Did you diagnose these men you speak of or where they diagnosed with NPD professionally?
"Or any other disorder" Bidge comes pre-loaded with an arsenal of ad-hominems in the name of "psychiatry", dont blow me kisses lest they land on my bum 😆 Ill give you a disorder sweetheart, youll have attachment wounds youll never get over kissin this narc toosh😏
You're in a team constantly pushing up the hard virtues of Candure, Courage, Competence, and Caring. When one collapses the other three are not far behind.
Some guys and some women are always going to cheat due to their nature. At the same time, I think you’re right when you say that your man - or most men - is less likely to cheat if you treat him well.
If the man isnt a "player" and sexually oppurtunistic, you have nothing to fear. Please him sexually,treat him like a king, give him peace of mind and he will be faithfull.
It depends 100% on what kind of man he is. His fidelity has nothing to do with how his lady treats him. Does God's love depend on how you treat Him? No, it does not.
Yeah, it’s really his vision for what he wants his life to be like. That’s the basis of his morality and character. And a smart woman will understand that if she stops trying to scratch the itches he has, this will make his vision difficult to hold onto.
However, my personal answer to that question is that because I'm devoted to my maturity and want to stay mature, if love comes along, whether it "work" out or not is beside the point. Love, when honored correctly, is always right to devote one's self too, even if the person I love's attitude is annoying. ;)The rhythm, if negotiated correctly, is so undeniable that each person can see eye to eye and both become small and in each other's mercy. It's not faith, per se. Specifically, not blind faith. It takes fucking years to negoiate love properly, but it also paradoxically requires that one be reasonably wreckless so that when love does reveal itself, one doesn't need to hesitate. One just knows.
I think anyone is capable of cheating in the right situation. But there are two types: 1. A small percentage of men who just aren’t trustworthy or loyal. 2. Men who are miserable in a sexless marriage and are offered a low risk alternative.
Jennifer... can we be honest? A healthy marriage never asks this question, and more...it isn't even a thought. Talking about it in a general societal framework is one thing. But asking this about each other even as a "what if"? All we can do, with our own commitment is give our marriage 101%. Then, if someone decides to go outside?...then YOU KNOW you gave it all you had - the cheater carries the burden at that point.
In hindsight, the roots of it can usually be traced back to a tiny dishonesty that was present from the start. Therefore prospective partners should consider carefully before making their fateful promises, and identify their partners' agendas, and their own.
I think love, and respect for each other and the different aspect each brings to the table is what keeps each person in check. Along with consequences. Yes, even the consequences to women if they thought on them more in terms of "sure, I can get what I need in the world where everything is geared to my favor, but at the end of the day, if I'm a single mom, is it worth the hassle of BEING a single mom? Is it better to wrangle those shortcomings with a person who loves me? Even if it FEELS like it's not there?" Often the latter is far more true which is how marriages survive.
While I am not advocating for men to cheat, it is important to realize that sex is different for men and women. For men it is a fun activity, for woman it is a form of commitment.
Ok I will break this down if you are prepared to read. I always feel torn making these comments. On the one hand they are necessary but on the other hand women don't like to be explained to and it feels simpish but it needs to be done. I will address you and then in general. Women need to be hot, feminine, in shape (don't have to be skinny just healthy and workout) and men need to be in shape and masculine, working on their purpose (drinking beer, playing video games, and not fulfilling their purpose is the quickest way to disaster with a woman). When the man is in his frame and leading the relationship and doing what he is supposed to do and allowing the woman to fall into her frame and stay in the feminine then everything CLICKS into place, no cheating is necessary or even desired at that point and is actually detrimental to the relationship and can actually hurt a woman's offspring if she has any. Cheating is only done by VERY low quality people and they can be from any walk of life. Women require a lot of work to keep happy but men are very simple. He only needs his belly filled and his balls drained. No matter how you are feeling (i.e. feeling bloated and fat even though you are skinny and how dare he cheat on you in your dreams but not in real life - you know all that crazy stuff that comes out when hormones are raging during that time of the month) he needs to see you nekked. You are each each others support. You don't need each other to complete each other but when you support each other in your assigned roles you become more than you ever could be when single. Knowing he has a beautiful wife that will give him all the physical and emotional nurturing he needs to recharge (like plugging a phone into the wall 😉 ) he can quickly recharge his batteries and is more able to fight bigger and bigger monsters and bring back more treasure and resources than he ever could single. In exchange the woman is allowed to experience his masculine love, protection, and safety which allows her nest to flourish better than she ever could by herself and knowing her man is stronger, because she filled his belly and drained his balls, she can rest easy and stay in frame and her chaos goes away and she is allowed to experience more emotions in safety. Thus no cheating is necessary and it won't happen. Those that argue against me have not been in this state yet. The only time cheating happens is when these conditions are not met, (i.e. the woman chooses not to be feminine and not fulfill her mans needs and or the man chooses not to be masculine and chooses not to fulfill his wife's needs and not working on his purpose). The problem lies when these conditions fluctuate and not 100% perfect for a period of time. Quality people understand it needs to be fixed and to give it some time to get back into order and if it doesn't then break the relationship and move on. Low Quality people live in fear and fear that the other person cannot full fill their assigned role thus creating a scarcity that must be fulfilled immediately and therefore cheating should immediately commence to fix the problem. From what I can see Jennifer you have a top tier relationship and not a low quality one but that is only what I can see from my limited viewport that is your youtube channel. I do not know all the nuances. I cannot speak for your husband as I can only see you and your thoughts. So I have to look at from my perspective and from my experiences and of course that skews things. It's obvious you are not 18 but at the same time you look amazing to the point I can tell the only thing that is going to change when you get into your twilight years is that only your hair color will change and that's it. Which means your husband picked a "good one" as we men like to call it and if you let him he will enjoy you for many decades to come. I have no idea on the quality of your man but as long as you both continue to play with each other and give each other the intimacy each needs without putting it behind a honey do list paywall then you are fine and have nothing to worry about. Women who do this are GOING to have their man cheat on them. If you EVER have any doubts, as crass as it may sound or be as you read this and want clear your conscious of the doubt, Walk into the room nekked WHEN HE IS RELAXED, NOT!!!! WHEN HE IS STRESSED TRYING TO FIX A PROBLEM!!!! bring him his favorite drink and proceed to drain his stress away if you know what I mean. He will NOT resist you 100% I PROMISE. Make sure you tell him to drink plenty of pineapple juice and or coconut water/milk/juice etc. I PROMISE !!!!!!! you, NO cheating will happen if this is done a few to several times a week. Once a month DOESN''T cut it. Date night DOESN'T cut it. Both of you needs to understand that romancing never stops. It requires daily effort even when you are tired and it requires you to reciprocate when he does even if you are tired, even when kids are around. Plan around it and offer plenty of visits to grandparents to drop the kids off, when you need a few hours to each other. I also HIGHLY recommend that you track your cycle and PLAN the romancing AROUND your cycle. It does NO GOOD to try and romance you when you are starting your cycle. That's a recipe for disaster. None of what I said will work if you try and do it during your cycle.
Spouse cheated on me long ago and we're still together 32 years later. But I'll never trust her nor feel the same towards her as I did at the start and its sad...
My wife and I have been married for 30 years. Our marriage certainly hinges on our faith in God, but also on one, and only one, thing: we both believe in and are committed to one man, one woman, for life. No one should get married unless they are absolutely certain that there spouse believes the same AND that they fear God enough to keep their vows. Everyone is a sinner and everyone WILL fall short and be a disappointment somewhere along the way.
Hey Jen, i think you're a good sample of healty relations, unfortunately rare nowadays. In relations, trust is the bottom line. I mean cheating is emotionally devastating on both ends, and ultimately is punishment.
I’ve been married almost 20 years now. She does not put much effort into sex anymore nor affection. I’m finding it very hard not to cheat or leave because of the kids which are all teenage boys. I’m definitely not a happy guy and probably am depressed by of this. Almost left once and she convene to stay. But we are back to the same spot. Need the balls to change but find it difficult. I love your channel.
@@marlonmoncrieffe0728 yes, we did go a few years ago. But nothing recently. She got offended the last time we went like she thought nothing was wrong and I’m just some sex freak. It’s the connection I’m looking for not necessarily the sex all the time. She seems to enjoy tiktok and video games though.
Men aren't usually high maintenance. We want peace when we're at home (remember that). We have basic needs in the bedroom as well (don't use that as a weapon... that will only 'seem' to work until he won't stand for it any longer). If you have a man of conviction, he will follow through on his commitments and won't be swayed by emotions and is resistant to temptation. A man that's decided you are serious and you can be trusted to not treat him as "just for fun.... until you aren't fun anymore", you have a 'rock' you can rely on. Every family needs that steady 'rock' (no matter what happens, the kind of man that will put himself into harms way when it comes down to it... the protector... he'll protect his investments and you are an investment to him among other things). If you aren't servicing his 'basic' needs and just become a 'costly' roommate and breaking that covenant with him (betraying him) you may leave him with little other options (respect is important with men and betrayal is never forgotten... albeit can be forgiven in some cases but betrayal lowers your value to him forever, you'll never shake that). Even that doesn't mean a man will waver on his convictions (a funny little thing about men). If you invalidate his conviction by cheating on him... god help you. If you are a good wife, you'll strengthen his conviction (and if you have a poor unmarriagable attitude and treat him like a boyfriend...aka: "just for fun until he is not fun anymore" you're sewing the seeds of self-destruction... eventually, that will lead to a lot of non-consentual expenses he has to deal with until the breaking point... men DO have limits so don't tempt those limits... limit your expense on him emotionally and financially and he'll remain convinced you are a keeper). The short story is MAKE SURE he stays convinced you are a "keeper" and you'll have a his unwavering conviction to you. He's not there to keep you entertained (albeit he will entertain you and himself as well as appropriate). Keep yourself unbroken.... there is NO broken woman that is a "keeper" (he can't put humpty dumpty back together again... so if you ever need therapy... go get it and don't put that on him).
One final thought. Although men are usually low maintenance, any man will tell you that women require more maintenance and investments than he will ever require. Men accept that... but not blindly. He'll make investments on your behalf to make you reasonable comfortable. Stay in that 'reasonable' zone. When you creep outside of the reasonable zone, he will value you less (albeit it may appear he values you more given the more he has to invest in you.... but that just makes you a bad investment and that will 'test' his conviction to you and make him question _if_ you are really a 'keeper'). Unfortunately, we live in a world the art of being a 'keeper' is not widely practiced (usually the 'kids' and failure to get a prenup become the last failsafes a man has to still keep an unsuitable... perhaps even exhausting woman).
"Full stomach, empty balls" has a near 100% success rate to keep men.
add respect and appreciation and that's 100%
That's hilarious, and so true! 👌😄😁
So many woman only understand men’s hunger for food. They would never let him starve of food, but making sure his sexual hunger is taken care of is often neglected. Personally I think there is a correlation between breast cancer and prostate cancer: I think they are both caused from lack of use.
@@mafp22w Yep. Too many women refuse to do the other half. So the first wh*re to give their husband a BJ it’s over.
Best answer. Stomach full, balls empty.
If you're hot, smart and feminine, treat a guy well and take care of him ... he'll never cheat. If he does then he has major issues that are not related to you.
I agree 100%. However, if you are a couch potato that doesn’t carry about her appearance, doesn’t treat her man with respect and appreciation, he is more likely to cheat or simply find a new woman.
That’s not true.
That is 100% not true! Pamela Anderson, Kim Kardashian, Sandra Bullock, models, supermodels & more have been cheated on. I realized when I saw all these beautiful people getting cheated on that it has ZERO to do with being fit or beautiful. So that theory has been totally debunked!
@@deanarjones9114, absolutely. You’re right. Good people get cheated on and left all the time.
I think you guys need to rethink what a “good wife” actually means.
A man cheats when he desires to feel a specific way that he believes he’ll feel through a sexual encounter with another woman. And then finds himself in an opportunity to get that particular itch scratched.
In a longterm relationship, a smart woman will start to observe what those feeling states her man seems to be aroused by and will strive to make him feel those things.
It’s not merely about being sexually available; it’s about learning what genuinely pushes his buttons and meeting him there again and again.
To answer the question, “Will my husband cheat?” the intelligent partner would diligently pursue the answer to the next question, “What kinds of feminine energy is he most drawn to?” and then figure out with him how to provide him with them.
The smart man will also become aware of what he wants so he can communicate it to her. And he will seek to please her as well by pursuing the things that he’s observed most frees her to feel feminine, carefree, and joyful.
You're honored that he is your husband?..WOW!! Don't really hear that all to often nowadays. You both are lucky to have found each other. congrats
This!
You are 💯 correct in that if a woman treats her husband as you do, the likelihood of him cheating is almost zero. I say almost zero bc there are some guys who are just dogs, but it is unfortunate.
Men cheat when the woman stops making herself available. Women need to make an effort in the bedroom. When she cuts him off, It's over.
1 vote for this as the best answer. It's push and pull. A. He's pulled back home every night because, gosh darn it, every man loves that kind of treatment. and B: He's pushed back home every night knowing, with near certainty, that every girl in the world will treat him worse than you do.
My wife was horrible and treated me like crap, she even moved a young mom and her son in without getting my intake. I had opportunities to cheat with her but I never took the bate. My decision not to cheat had nothing to do with her, I’m just not that kind of man
Good. But why didn't you divorce? Just on the basis of what you said, you definitely should have.
@@roberthermann97
I wanted to after the first year, I’m a Christian and according to Scripture unless there was adultery we couldn’t divorce. It finally got bad enough that I suffered a nervous breakdown, got help and they helped me threw the Divorce
@@Kodeeni Glad you got through it in the end at least. If I wasn't clear before, I agree with you about the decision to cheat not having anything to do with her, it's who we are that matters in that decision.
The short answer to your question is it is a bit of both. If you picked your guy well, and treat him well, the likelihood of cheating is next to nil. If you picked your guy poorly (i.e. a guy who has cheated in previous relationships), there is a good chance he would cheat even if you treated him well. If you treat any guy poorly, there is a good chance he would eventually run into a woman who treats him better, making cheating all but inevitable. In short, if you want to reduce the risk of being cheated on to almost zero: pick your man well (i.e. has strong values) and treat him well.
100 agree
People married for a long time tend to become "comfortable" in their relationships. They say things to one another that they would NEVER have said during the Newlywed stage. Don't let little rude comments or actions go unchallenged just to keep the peace. If you do it will only happen more often. Keeping that respect between each other is crucial, show love, apologize, try not to go to bed angry. People generally cheat when they feel unappreciated or ignored, and along comes the stranger who makes them feel good again. There are no guarantees in life, promises get broken, people are imperfect. Enjoy each other every day you are together. The past is gone, tomorrow hasn't arrived. All you have is today. ❣
I would say 90% of men will not cheat. The 10% will because they have $$$$. To a man he can love his wife and still do the deed. If a woman cheats its like premeditated murder. Meaning she checked out of the relationship months before she did.
I can honestly say that after 23 years of unbroken trust i could never have imagined just how great my marriage would be. It builds over time for sure.
I mean, if you dont trust your partner...it will never work
@@bilboes6634 Precisely. I've also learned that trust is given not taken. You need to earn it, not just expect it.
What a great way to frame the question, Jennifer.
My answer involves critiquing gender neutral wedding vows.
We aren’t promising to give the other person what they really need but instead use general vague terms that aren’t honoring our distinct drives and motivations.
For example, I need sex in a variety of emotional states. I need it when I’m happy, I need it when I’m certain kinds of sad, and yes I need it when I’m angry. I need it when I feel victorious and I need it when the world kicks me in the teeth.
I need sexually physical demonstrations of love while I’m on my way fighting to provide her with the things she said are of import TO HER.
So, I think that we get hung up on this stupid idea that marriage means ONLY not having sex with anyone else, but there’s absolutely no vow about providing reliable access to good sex. In other words, it’s considered breaking the marriage for having sex with someone else, but it’s not breaking any vow for failing to please your partner with sex.
I don’t think it’s unreasonable to want to find out what types of feminine energy speaks to him and learning to speak his language.
And you’ll have to negotiate how far you’re willing to bend to what he wants. If you weeded out a lot of bad men, the good man will have fairly reasonable requests.
But if he has kinks, you’re gonna want to figure out what he really needs and work them out WITH him.
And every part of his heart that longs to be scratched (that is undiscovered, ignored, or unredeemed) is just waiting for the right circumstances. It is in high danger of being scratched by someone else who offers it. He’ll even still feel he’s in love with you and provide you with the rest of what he vowed in marriage.
But if you don’t want that outcome, dive deep and become his sexual Genie. Not just with physical positions but roles and characters you can both play. Learn about the emotions he wants to feel and take him there.
That’s what I really think. It sure ain’t politically correct nor should kids read this. But for adults, come on. Is anything I’m saying not possibly true?
Dude, it's not just about you. Read your response: "My sex, my sex, my sex" You are WAY too focused on sex. Take a chill pill, and climb down off your pedestal.
Ha ha ha, I used to think like you did. That marriage was all about what I could give, not what I could get, etc.
But I’ve learned in life that the secret to any good relationship, sexual or otherwise, is one where each party is clear on what they themselves want from the other person, and what they are willing to provide for what the other person wants.
The clearer each party is on what they want, the better both parties can negotiate and find an equilibrium. The more each party feels like they are “taking one for the team,” the more resentment can fester and grow.
Certainly sacrifices are required throughout a long term relationship. But the fundamentals are: you have something I want, I want to provide something you want. And you work out the details together.
Lack of awareness of what each party wants is a huge reason why people are miserable and marriages end.
Not to mention, my dude, but she was specifically asking if it’s really up to fate or if she can have any reasonable expectation that she can keep her man happy with what she does.
What’s your solution to her question?
Very well said
@@robhulson That person isn't going to answer, because you're entirely correct. It's just not popular to say. In todays climate, in western culture that is, you're not supposed to even talk about what what a man needs, or rather, about what a woman should do.
I highly recommend Shirley Glass's book "Not Just Friends." It was her life's work studying infidelity and she wrote about the modern face of infidelity. It really can be all about the opportunities, because it is "shared intimacy, secrecy, and natural sexual tension" that leads down the path to cheating. If you or your partner is sharing intimate details about your life and especially about your existing relationship with someone of the opposite sex, then you are "not just friends" already. The explosion of women in the workplace led to the first big jump in infidelity rates, then social media and easy, secret communication led to the second great jump.
Her book is tendentious to say the least.
The rule I have with my wife is all men that are able to cheat cheat. I looked at her eyes and asked her do I been the guy I am do I deserve the chance to cheat. She answered after that I told her. Every day that I don’t cheat is a gift that you have earn. Most women think they deserve not to be cheated but they forget that we can cheat and every day we don’t is because we love you and we don’t want to hurt you. We go against our nature to be loyal. That’s love that’s loyalty
You need to protect your husband from witches who can cast spells over him. This is critical.
No matter how well you treat one another, cheating is always a possibility. It’s rare that a romantic relationship last forever but hope for the best and know that you’ll survive if it doesn’t.
BTW I’m not a cheater no matter how poorly my partner treats me however I’ll cut and run if it becomes clear it won’t work out.
Respect your husband, show your appreciation, be his pal and care for him... he won't leave you
If your with a man who truly loves you and has integrity. He will not cheat on you even if you have lots of trouble in your life . A smart man knows that the grass is not greener on the other hill. A woman with your qualities would be a diamond 💎 in the rough . Great topic ! A good man does not cheat on his wife or if not married his girlfriend also .
Having been married almost 30 years my obsrevation would be that there are times when any couple is vulnerable. However if you define cheating for what it is, a sin against God, your spouse, and your own body, and live with the determination that cheating and divorce are not options, and don't allow yourselves to be put in tempting circumstances, and be part of a community of people which support that view as well as provide a social consequence if you fail, you can pretty much stifle that urge when it rears it's head. That being said treating each other as you have described is a pretty sure way to keep that temptation from arising. Prevention is worth a pound of cure.
I believe that it mostly depends on the character of the man. I am not treated well by my wife but I will not cheat because my integrity is everything to me. My integrity is who I am.
Jennifer, it all comes down to love and trust. If you really love and respect him, he has no reason to stray.
How the woman treats me is decisive in that’s respect! You’re right.
I am generalizing here. Cheaters tend to think very short term. Different car every couple of years. They want to move to different places. Get a different job; be around other people. It doesn't matter if you are meeting their needs from your perspective. Their needs can't be met..
It comes down to loyalty and respect. If you're missing either, you're done!
Solo father of 3 amazing girls here. I'm raising my girls to be traditional women. I mean traditional in the real meaning of traditional. There's no doubt in my mind that they will be thousands of miles ahead of these head rolling, loud, obnoxious, entitled, feminist (so called women) in our society today. I am confident that when the time is right, that these girls will easily be led to good traditional men and will be very well provided for, guided and protected. In turn, these amazing girls will provide a comforting home, be an excellent help mate and meet the needs of their husband. At 16, 12 and 10 they are well on their way and are excited about one day being able to be the woman God intended them to be and that the right man deserves them to be. These woman are very rare but are the real 1% women and a true 10!
Unfortunately, you cannot decide this, they will decide for themselves when they grow up. These are not dogs, no matter how you train them, they will eventually live by the values they have developed.
Personally, I think it's a game of numbers. I think, given enough opportunities with enough pressure, anyone can end up cheating. I think too many people consider themselves impervious, just too 'morally superior' to even have to worry about cheating. But it really is a numbers game, and I think both partners have to have enough respect for one another to try and avoid as many of those cheating-adjacent situations as possible. It's not about 'don't you trust me?!' but about showing one another your commitment to each other above all others.
It's not just a game of numbers. As someone else on here put it, if he has unmet needs over a long enough time frame which someone else offered to meet, then he's vulnerable. Women do this to other women all the time, see a guy who's got great attributes and not being looked after in his relationship, they will compete for and try and steal that man
@@mgm6708 I don't see how that makes it 'not a game of numbers'. I'm saying that everyone is vulnerable to cheating given enough opportunities because, as you said, some people will compete for and try and steal them. That competition doesn't require someone 'not being looked after' either, it only makes them an easier target. But those in happy relationships are also targeted, and also vulnerable to cheating.
@@smexijebus my point was if he has unmet needs.. if he doesn't, he's not necessarily in the game.
@@mgm6708 And my point is that it doesn't matter whether he's happy or not, satisfied or not; there are people out there that will pressure others to cheat, and the more situations you allow yourself to be in where cheating is a possibility, the more likely it is that you will cheat. It is a numbers game.
Perhaps too many do think themselves impervious, but otoh, a thief thinks everyone is a thief, of one kind or another. It is definitely not the case that anyone can end up cheating. Leaving is also a choice, when all else has failed.
How well you treat a man does play a big role, but it sure helps if he has very few opportunities with other women. A long lasting marriage typically happens when a couple both loves each other and spends most or all of their time together. No chance = no cheat.
I think age/maturity has a lot to do with it - youngsters often don't realize what they have till they've lost it, nor do they have the empathy to truly understand the hurt they cause when cheating on someone. Combine that with hormones, a more reckless sense of adventure and an out of control, sin loving media and you've got yourself a recipe for romantic disaster. I cheated on someone once and regret it to this day - I will NEVER do so again, regardless of whether my partner "does it for me" in the ways I like but especially not if they hit my sweet spot. Life experience and capacity for introspection goes a long way in terms of fidelity.
Plus the mature, rational man understands the possible losses he will take if he is caught cheating. 50% of a life's work is a huge price to pay.
Age/maturity have a TON to do with it. Once you mature, you get greater control over your impulses and you greater perspective. As men, we also slow down at bit as we age. Also, a lot of modern women aren't exactly that tempting. A lot of them are promiscous which is a turnoff to a man that has matured..
With respect, if you don't have a nuanced and grey love life, then you're either extremely naive or extremely sheltered. Probably both. You'd like to think that the media is out to destroy love and romance, but it's actually encouraging trial by error and learning from mistakes to find coherence in a grey world.
Religion does seem to enshrine naivetee, ignorance, and that's why I do hate religion, but that's for me.
I don't mind religious people liking marriage, but please don't pretend that fear has anything to do with love or tradition or maturity. It's just nothingness and fear of somethingness.
Religion has nothing to do with love, marriage or tradition. It's just to preserve the lie of self-importance because religious leaders don't know how to live out of their bubble of self-importance.
You either know how to live or you don't. And it seems to me to be clear that religious leaders are only afraid of their wallets getting lighter and that they don't give a damn about people, love, or tradition.
It's the moral standard that he holds himself too
it's a mixture of treatment the strength of the man and the pressure in his life along with his sense of honor/moral code.
It's 90% morals and self-respect of the guy for himself and 10% whether the woman meets his needs. My desire to live a life that pleases God and to be able to life with myself prevented me from cheating even when I was married to a cheater. The last 10% is whether the woman becomes so emotionally unattractive that his imagination opens the door to someone who reminds him how it feels to be treated well.
If the man has values, he will not cheat. Period.
Im old enough to be your husband so I feel very qualified to answer this. If you TRUELY honor him and you are sweet or semisweet to him and (dont be critical of him) and dont occasionally mention some dude or film star or athlete that you think is just amazing (men hate that shit) but they wont tell you. Feed him, xxxx him, and keep a nice home-(thats your job!) and dont turn sour with time. His body and libido will fade with age but dont let on like you notice it. You are not 18 anymore either and I doubt he reminds you of it. Give him dignity and respect. remember women want love but men want respect! Do this and you will last till death do you part. If you do those things, he wont cheat with some younger hotter girl. I dont care how hot she is, if you keep his (needs) met as often as necessary , he wont cheat. men to that when they dont get what they want at home. give him what he needs at home and he wont leave home. Im a man and Im telling you that is what we all want!
What can a woman do with a lazy husband?
I would hope you are at least old enough to be her husband
Any man or woman can cheat. It all comes down to opportunity and the right circumstance.
This assumes men and women WILL commit adultery given the right circumstances. False. They can, but don't.
Speak for yourself.
So, my opinion, as an unhappy husband who has *NOT* cheated due to concept of basic right/wrong is that if someone does not have this very, very strict boundary that you are correct in the thought that if you treat your husband like garbage he will cheat. In my case, my wife treats me like crap but doesn't want a divorce. Strange. Anyhow, unhappy, but won't cheat. But you are definitely mostly correct and on to something.
Sometimes it feels as if life is really just a Pichinko machine and if everything falls into the right spots at the right time that anybody is capable of doing the wrong thing in spite of knowing the negative outcome. In the modern era there is no well-defined line that people feel they would never cross. Before "No Fault" divorce was a thing the courts and the community could look at the bad actor say "You dropped the ball, you booted the pooch, and now you have to pay the price". And that price would be both financial and social. The cheating spouse would either have to pay up in the divorce if he was a man, or possibly lose custody and be without support if it was the woman. Either party was generally shunned by the community they lived in and would be forced to relocate and hope their past didn't follow them. We've removed the incentive to follow the rules and replaced it with coercion to break the rules..
If you treat a man with kindness, respect, emotional support and you tend to his physical needs, he’s not going to cheat. If he does, it’s his loss, not yours.
Welcome back. I hope you will share more.
For me, whether I cheat doesn't have anything at all to do with how my wife treats me. I don't cheat because that's how I promised, not because of anything I think or feel or anybody else says or does or doesn't do. I can imagine situations in which I would have to separate from my wife, but while she's alive I won't get involved with another woman--again, because that's what I promised, not because of anything I think or feel or anybody else says or does or doesn't do.
If she cheated on me, I would lay it personally at her feet; I wouldn't tar all women--or any other women--with it.
But she won't, any more than I will. She's a good, solid 1946 vintage, from back when they made them with their heads screwed on straight.
Scroll through her phone and I bet you'd be shocked lol. Oh wait you can't because she has a pass code on it.
@@L-Cool Heh--nice try. We're married: we know each other's passcodes in case of emergency--and just for convenience as well. We also know each other's duress codes. I'm more technical than she is, so she frequently gives me her phone to diddle some obscure setting for her.
First, we've been married for too many decades to be interested in playing those kinds of games. Second, we're from a different time--a time when different things were important.
As a married man I 100% agree when my wife treats me really well I can't imagine even thinking about other women.
The biggest factor is the man. In a dysfunctional relationship, a noble man will end the relationship and then begin the search for a new woman (these men are rare, and if they've rejected you, you certainly suck). There are men who will cheat no matter how well his woman treats him. Most men are in the middle, where they will look elsewhere, only if they are unappreciated, and will do so whilst inside the relationship (I'm assuming all these hypothetical men are fine, interpersonally). One caveat to note is that if the husband has a side chick, it doesn't mean he's cheating, he's just sating his libido (but is still 100% committed to his wife). It's only when he starts to buy the side-chick cars, jewellery, expensive gifts, that the cheating is real (in that the side-chick may displace the wife). The vast majority of side-chicks fail to displace the wife, and she is not a problem if all he spends on her is the hotel money, and cheap restaurants for their extra marital activity.
When a woman cheats, the relationship is 100% finished, and when sleeping with her husband, will feel as though she is cheating on her new boyfriend (if you can imagine).
This is like asking if I will have a car accident on the way to work. There are things we can control and things we cannot. We can make sure we sleep well, maintain the car, check the tires etc but in the end it’s a calculated risk. Bottom line is, this is a way to fulfill a human need to pay the mortgage and buy groceries. We all mitigate risk and try to keep it to a minimum but in the end we are still going to make the trip to work. I would say route choice and the type of vehicle may be the most important factor…
Been married about 10 years. Have a brother that cheated on his wife after 20 years and left her after he revealed (now with the new girl) but my thing is just don't put yourself is stupid situations and you will never have to worry about the temptation. My bro had a lot of friends as girls and eventually it caught up. Me, I don't need any friends as girls as I have my wife. So I stay right away from opposite sex. IMO that's a big key. Now on the other hand I don't think my wife would ever but u never really do know, crazier things happen. (she also doesn't have male friends). But If she did after all of this. that would be a wrap for me and trusting women. And I have been cheated on in past relationships but also had some low class partners.
32 years here, no cheating on both side, my wife is crazy and so am I. We treat each other like friends and thats it. I trust her and she trusts me and we both know it.
Oh boy! Such a loaded conversation!!! So many nuances… comments can’t be books but it should be written!✌🏻❤️🇺🇸🙏🏻
I am with you, about not being able to give advise as my second wife broke the rules I had for her, but she didn't break the rules for herself. I, 90 percent raised her kids from 4 y/o to 11 and when her kids could start making decisions for themselves, I was out in her mind. But I lost all trust in single women with in 20 years of my age, as I started to pay attention to what is going on in today's world. I will get my divorce sometime this next month and stay content with me and my hobbies. I fell for a really attractive blonde. My fault to fall for a pretty one. But I also got fat. So, it was all my fault. But I am good now. She wants back in, but a few got to take it for some rides and I prefer well taken care of and looked after, not put away after a lot of testing. 😂
It wasn't "all your fault". You were at fault for failing in some aspects of your marriage, but not at fault for your partner stepping out. That decision is on them. Stay strong.
@@roberthermann97 agree, it want all my fault. But I like to look at it as it was. I am taking 100 percent responsibility for me. She likes to state 100 percent on me. She is now on to her 3rd marriage looking for a pension and security with her now 45 and showing a lot of age in the last two years trying to play hard to secure a man for her last bit of life she has left between the sheets. Live at the beach and was fit till I got hurt last year, but making my way back. 2 motorcycles and I will be fine. Done with the hobby of women. Spend the rest on me now. Played twice with marriage. I will retire with the hot wife.
It's both. A lot has to do with each persons relation with their primary caregivers.
I was married for 17 years. I have been cheated on from a previous girlfriend, but not in my marriage. My perspective is that at a person's core, they are either susceptible to cheating or they not. I look at it similar to happiness: you cannot make your husband happy, he is either happy or not. Of course, you can contribute to his moods, but he owns it. Ultimately, you are either a potential cheater or you are not, because cheating has to do with the value system you have accepted individually.
i don't buy the "she drove him into another woman's arms," because you cannot. If he is an adult, he makes his own decisions based on his values. If he cheats, he actually does not believe in marriage, at least as it has been traditionally understood. A person who believes in their marriage will take steps early to maximize mature communication channels to quickly foster trust and belief in their spouse.
Glad to see you back Jennifer, I haven't seen your videos in a while.
I think if their needs are met then it would only come down to if they have the lack of morals to do it.
Any man or woman who thinks their partner will cheat should not get married. If you’re already married, you screwed up if you’re cheated on.
It doesn't matter who cheats if there are bad in laws. Bad in laws will destroy your marriage.
You know what I find amusing about the Rome series?
It's representative of a generational gap that is a connection between their generation and mine is that they had an equal amount of educators as I have today, with different spiritual infrastructure.
That's the bridge between their generation and mine. They have mysterious advisors in their past that aren't relevant to me, and I have interim advisors between their present and my present that they didn't have access to.
It seemed to create a fold in space time like a worm hole that connected their time and me in my time. Proof of use of modern physics in ancient and modern times.
It's how I fell in love with Rome.
And so I gained access to the most ancient of Fung Shui wisdom before anyone else, even before you Jamie.
You wrote more about it, and probably explored it's infrastructure use more than me, but I got there first due to my cultural heritage.
As proof look at the Etruscan use of grave design of married couples sitting upright as though at home, and the use of Scipio in the Rome series when he rubbed his cup to think.
I do feel that Fung Shui is Roman originally before it became an Eastern practice.
The benefit of me having a direct line to my cultural roots allowed me a sense of unearned home that is still cherished by my honor and their honor, honor being defined as being an adult who accidentally forms relationships with other adults that transform into cups that hold honor naturally.
Individualism and honor is the same thing. Individualism is the cup, being human is what honor serves, and the water of honor is felt with loving relationships formed at random.
Honor is my deepest ethic and wisdom.
Even more than love itself. Love can't exist without honor.
And that's been a problem for what women need, because compassion isn't enough. Women need to lead honorable lives to be equal to men.
Romantic and erotic love between man and woman is a lot more rare, and so saying that honor is necessary but not sufficient for the highest standard of love isn't an insult to love. This allows for love and the highest quality of love.
Honor comes first, and love comes second, because, paradoxically, romantic love is more important love needs the proper and most glorious pillar.
Strength. Honor. Devotion. Selfishness with the illusion of selflessness. For with love and honor is the ability to lie honorably.
Naturally, the give and take in a relationship carries a lot of weight. The manner in which each of you shows your love, respect, and desire to care for the other is significant, and goes a long way to building trust. That said, some people [ men and women ] are damaged goods. They lack the emotional stability and psychological maturity that are the foundation of a strong marriage. That lack cannot be corrected by a spouse alone. The shopworn adage " you complete me " is a fallacy. Each of us must be complete in order to build a lasting relationship with someone else.
I agree with you in that, having given my word of commitment to another person, should they violate our bond of integrity, it can never be restored. My integrity is the one thing that cannot be taken from me, I have to surrender it of my own volition.
Really enjoy your channel, your man is blessed to have you.
Salute Jennifer!
Great video; well thought out !
There's a lot of words down there, but I don't see a moral core when it comes to the subject of cheating, just a lot of expectations without true structure and inevitably hurt feelings without people having a clue about how to love properly.
I've never met anyone who hasn't cheated or who won't inevitably cheat someday or people who just became bitter and cold with their "faithfulness" as an empty trophy of fake moral
"superiority." Whining about cheating and faithfulness is the last refuge of the incompetent.
Thank you for bringing this up, Jennifer. It's a pet thesis of mine for my research for a Master's thesis and potential PhD dissertation.
Dissertation? Lol, you're going to go that far just to (try to) prove others aren't any better than you, when it comes to morals? When clearly there are those that are.
That's one element of who I am. So don't presume to know my motives just because you watched the Dark Knight once. I have a photographic memory. "The joker wanted to prove"... etc. I'm not a child who puts his identity in movies, perhaps unlike you.
And if morality is only about power for you, then clearly I'm more moral than you, even though I didn't make this about that.
But to be honest with you, I've been surrounded by women that I love and that lvoe me back, but are unavailable. Now you tell me which is more respectful, to get what I can without demanding that others be with me, or whine about how unfair the world is?
And I don't hate you personally. I don't know you, but an ignorant response does imply that you might hate yourself.
Lilith/Nicole is the goddess of fighters.
Did you know that she was the only person to ever stand up to the Satanic fantasy Goat and live to come back and tell the tale?
Of course, respect is still the language of the land, so just being impressive won't win you any friends.
But there's no better person in the world in my opinion.
So you're right. I'm not the best person in the world, but I'm the wisest.
But just being wise won't win friends either, unless one knows how to party with friends.
So lighten up.
And I may not be the best person in the world Robert, but I know for damn sure that neither are you.
I would say that most men never intend to be unfaithful but situations and opportunity can cause bad decisions, most that they regret. It isn't that all men are weak but immaturity makes them selfish and thoughtless and a spot decision driven by desire are often too overpowering to allow wisdom. I have been married for 38 years and I have been faithful to my wife but I have many friends who have made mistakes due to alcohol, bad timing, or they just needed to feel desirable to a woman again, sexual gratification is a driving factor in most men's psyche and it is very difficult to manage at times. None of this is meant to be an excuse, an oath to remain faithful to ones partner should be our guide but weakness is always present and a beautiful, willing woman is difficult to resist.
Trust and respect for your significant other is earned by the actions they take towards you.
Something my first and second live-ins didn't seem to understand.
Don't be reckless with other people's hearts, Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours
I think thats one of those topics that could be so complex like how Ned Stark from game of thrones series was really just trying to protect his nephew. Probly even deeper the reason tyrion went to another land.
I cheated on 1 girlfriend & never cheated again. It was an opportunity & I pounced. I broke up with that girlfriend soon after, because, I knew that I cheated out of my boredom with her. When the intimacy (any & all forms) slows, stops, etc...I leave the relationship. I value myself & cheating instead of leaving, is cheating myself!
Jen, the answer depends on TWO things:
1. His ability to appreciate & respect himself. If he first knows HIS OWN value, then he has the ability to appreciate & respect you.
2. How you treat him.
So now the only question that matters is, do YOU think he will cheat?
Thank you Jennifer it's so good to see you back....ok a first it not your fault if he cheated on you. .its his character faults..
When Jessica was alive...those 6 year and 8month we was together marriage...no way I would have ...there not a nother woman on this earth could have get me away from her...and jess told me if something happened to me...she would never move on ...so it people and there issues
It's both. How he is, and how you treat him. Hard to say which is the stronger factor.
But there're a few follow-up questions:
- Will YOU cheat?
- If he cheats, what would you do?
- if you chat, what would he do?
- How much does his potential cheating actually matter to you?
- How much does your potential cheating actually matter to him?
It's the type of guy he is. If I am ever poorly treated, no matter how poorly, I will not become one of those people who cheat no matter how tempting the opportunity.
If the spouse cheats, distrust does not fall on men or women, it falls on the cheater.
Only a fool would step out on a good woman...
If it happens again in a relationship, I trust that I have healed well enough to handle it in a way that is in my best interest and intentions.
EVERY situation is different. There is NO one answer. But... communication is the light in dark.
Miss Jennifer if you treat your husband with respect and love as you say the chances of him cheating approaches zero. We have to renew our love in a relationship each day and when you do you create a barrier against temptation. Be secure in your feelings...don't doubt. Men dislike being doubted when they are faithful.
He probably won’t, but if he does, he’s not too bright. You’re a lovely woman that makes a good partner. You would have no blame or responsibility in the matter.
Communication creates trust and committment.
There are plenty of people who have said "The police are so dumb. I'll never get caught." Yet, prisons are full of people.
The same insane thinking happens in marriage. You have to be aware of reality and choose another who has the same ability.
0:51 Supposed it's up to the type of man he is, and not how you treat him. Let's say for a second that's the case. You can still give at least one advice to the other women - choose your man wisely!
I think this is a very important advice anyway. If you choose a liаr and a cheat for a partner, you are doomed, no matter how you treat that person.
Sometimes you lose the love. Complacency is a death sentence..
Depends on the person. If they have morals they will hold themselves accountable. It's not your job to hold them against
Some guys cheat, some don’t. Most don’t cheat because of anything to do with their girl. It’s just standard operating procedure. Very few do this due to neglect in a relationship. .
When men “cheat” it is either for recreation or because they love more than one woman but there is no intention to harm. When women cheat, they’ve lost respect for the man they are with and the intention is to hurt him emotionally by disrespecting him in the worst way possible. Men can love more than one woman. A woman can’t love more than one man.
It depends on the guy that he is and what satisfaction you are giving him. His emotional well being with you also. If he is normal, meaning not stapled with NPD or any other disorder, you should be fine. It really depends on who he is and what you mean to him
Kammellioo I just wanted to point out the potential projection in your comment, and wanted to note that you still are (and always will be) the only person that liked your comment.
@@chicenburger 😍😘
@@kammellioo "Dime a dozen"
Im curious how many men "stapled with NPD" cheated on you? Are you speaking from personal experience or just projecting?
Did you diagnose these men you speak of or where they diagnosed with NPD professionally?
@@chicenburger Nah, now I liked it too.
"Or any other disorder" Bidge comes pre-loaded with an arsenal of ad-hominems in the name of "psychiatry", dont blow me kisses lest they land on my bum 😆
Ill give you a disorder sweetheart, youll have attachment wounds youll never get over kissin this narc toosh😏
It depends on him and his character. It is mostly based on who they are. However sometime women drive a man to cheat with being difficult.
Why do you think he'd cheat on you in the first place ? We need more details to answer you.
Congrats on 100K subscribers
If he's anything like me, then no he won't. He wouldn't want to live with it on his conscience.
Dr. Grande (who has a PhD in psychology and also has his own TH-cam channel) says that the most agreeable partners tend to be cheated on the most.
You're in a team constantly pushing up the hard virtues of Candure, Courage, Competence, and Caring. When one collapses the other three are not far behind.
Some guys and some women are always going to cheat due to their nature.
At the same time, I think you’re right when you say that your man - or most men - is less likely to cheat if you treat him well.
If the man isnt a "player" and sexually oppurtunistic, you have nothing to fear. Please him sexually,treat him like a king, give him peace of mind and he will be faithfull.
Proximity, time, and communication. It takes all three for a relationship to be. And if one is being fulfilled by another you will lose your lover.
It depends 100% on what kind of man he is. His fidelity has nothing to do with how his lady treats him. Does God's love depend on how you treat Him? No, it does not.
His character and morals are what keeps him from cheating. How you treat him is how tempted he would be.
Yeah, it’s really his vision for what he wants his life to be like. That’s the basis of his morality and character. And a smart woman will understand that if she stops trying to scratch the itches he has, this will make his vision difficult to hold onto.
Wrong. It's up to him and it's quite normal for men to cheat.
@@frankdefranco9436 psst.... your character is showing .
A lot depends on if the guy was cheated on the past relationship, his goals, character, and how a woman treats him and if she gives him what he wants.
However, my personal answer to that question is that because I'm devoted to my maturity and want to stay mature, if love comes along, whether it "work" out or not is beside the point. Love, when honored correctly, is always right to devote one's self too, even if the person I love's attitude is annoying. ;)The rhythm, if negotiated correctly, is so undeniable that each person can see eye to eye and both become small and in each other's mercy. It's not faith, per se. Specifically, not blind faith. It takes fucking years to negoiate love properly, but it also paradoxically requires that one be reasonably wreckless so that when love does reveal itself, one doesn't need to hesitate. One just knows.
I think anyone is capable of cheating in the right situation.
But there are two types:
1. A small percentage of men who just aren’t trustworthy or loyal.
2. Men who are miserable in a sexless marriage and are offered a low risk alternative.
Jennifer... can we be honest? A healthy marriage never asks this question, and more...it isn't even a thought.
Talking about it in a general societal framework is one thing. But asking this about each other even as a "what if"?
All we can do, with our own commitment is give our marriage 101%. Then, if someone decides to go outside?...then YOU KNOW you gave it all you had - the cheater carries the burden at that point.
In hindsight, the roots of it can usually be traced back to a tiny dishonesty that was present from the start. Therefore prospective partners should consider carefully before making their fateful promises, and identify their partners' agendas, and their own.
I think love, and respect for each other and the different aspect each brings to the table is what keeps each person in check. Along with consequences. Yes, even the consequences to women if they thought on them more in terms of "sure, I can get what I need in the world where everything is geared to my favor, but at the end of the day, if I'm a single mom, is it worth the hassle of BEING a single mom? Is it better to wrangle those shortcomings with a person who loves me? Even if it FEELS like it's not there?" Often the latter is far more true which is how marriages survive.
While I am not advocating for men to cheat, it is important to realize that sex is different for men and women. For men it is a fun activity, for woman it is a form of commitment.
Pride goes before destruction.
it all comes down to lack of character. A vow is sacred and that has to mean something.
Ok I will break this down if you are prepared to read. I always feel torn making these comments. On the one hand they are necessary but on the other hand women don't like to be explained to and it feels simpish but it needs to be done. I will address you and then in general. Women need to be hot, feminine, in shape (don't have to be skinny just healthy and workout) and men need to be in shape and masculine, working on their purpose (drinking beer, playing video games, and not fulfilling their purpose is the quickest way to disaster with a woman). When the man is in his frame and leading the relationship and doing what he is supposed to do and allowing the woman to fall into her frame and stay in the feminine then everything CLICKS into place, no cheating is necessary or even desired at that point and is actually detrimental to the relationship and can actually hurt a woman's offspring if she has any. Cheating is only done by VERY low quality people and they can be from any walk of life.
Women require a lot of work to keep happy but men are very simple. He only needs his belly filled and his balls drained. No matter how you are feeling (i.e. feeling bloated and fat even though you are skinny and how dare he cheat on you in your dreams but not in real life - you know all that crazy stuff that comes out when hormones are raging during that time of the month) he needs to see you nekked. You are each each others support. You don't need each other to complete each other but when you support each other in your assigned roles you become more than you ever could be when single. Knowing he has a beautiful wife that will give him all the physical and emotional nurturing he needs to recharge (like plugging a phone into the wall 😉 ) he can quickly recharge his batteries and is more able to fight bigger and bigger monsters and bring back more treasure and resources than he ever could single. In exchange the woman is allowed to experience his masculine love, protection, and safety which allows her nest to flourish better than she ever could by herself and knowing her man is stronger, because she filled his belly and drained his balls, she can rest easy and stay in frame and her chaos goes away and she is allowed to experience more emotions in safety. Thus no cheating is necessary and it won't happen. Those that argue against me have not been in this state yet.
The only time cheating happens is when these conditions are not met, (i.e. the woman chooses not to be feminine and not fulfill her mans needs and or the man chooses not to be masculine and chooses not to fulfill his wife's needs and not working on his purpose). The problem lies when these conditions fluctuate and not 100% perfect for a period of time. Quality people understand it needs to be fixed and to give it some time to get back into order and if it doesn't then break the relationship and move on. Low Quality people live in fear and fear that the other person cannot full fill their assigned role thus creating a scarcity that must be fulfilled immediately and therefore cheating should immediately commence to fix the problem. From what I can see Jennifer you have a top tier relationship and not a low quality one but that is only what I can see from my limited viewport that is your youtube channel. I do not know all the nuances.
I cannot speak for your husband as I can only see you and your thoughts. So I have to look at from my perspective and from my experiences and of course that skews things. It's obvious you are not 18 but at the same time you look amazing to the point I can tell the only thing that is going to change when you get into your twilight years is that only your hair color will change and that's it. Which means your husband picked a "good one" as we men like to call it and if you let him he will enjoy you for many decades to come.
I have no idea on the quality of your man but as long as you both continue to play with each other and give each other the intimacy each needs without putting it behind a honey do list paywall then you are fine and have nothing to worry about. Women who do this are GOING to have their man cheat on them. If you EVER have any doubts, as crass as it may sound or be as you read this and want clear your conscious of the doubt, Walk into the room nekked WHEN HE IS RELAXED, NOT!!!! WHEN HE IS STRESSED TRYING TO FIX A PROBLEM!!!! bring him his favorite drink and proceed to drain his stress away if you know what I mean. He will NOT resist you 100% I PROMISE. Make sure you tell him to drink plenty of pineapple juice and or coconut water/milk/juice etc. I PROMISE !!!!!!! you, NO cheating will happen if this is done a few to several times a week. Once a month DOESN''T cut it. Date night DOESN'T cut it. Both of you needs to understand that romancing never stops. It requires daily effort even when you are tired and it requires you to reciprocate when he does even if you are tired, even when kids are around. Plan around it and offer plenty of visits to grandparents to drop the kids off, when you need a few hours to each other.
I also HIGHLY recommend that you track your cycle and PLAN the romancing AROUND your cycle. It does NO GOOD to try and romance you when you are starting your cycle. That's a recipe for disaster. None of what I said will work if you try and do it during your cycle.
Spouse cheated on me long ago and we're still together 32 years later. But I'll never trust her nor feel the same towards her as I did at the start and its sad...
My wife and I have been married for 30 years. Our marriage certainly hinges on our faith in God, but also on one, and only one, thing: we both believe in and are committed to one man, one woman, for life. No one should get married unless they are absolutely certain that there spouse believes the same AND that they fear God enough to keep their vows. Everyone is a sinner and everyone WILL fall short and be a disappointment somewhere along the way.
Hey Jen, i think you're a good sample of healty relations, unfortunately rare nowadays. In relations, trust is the bottom line. I mean cheating is emotionally devastating on both ends, and ultimately is punishment.
I’ve been married almost 20 years now. She does not put much effort into sex anymore nor affection. I’m finding it very hard not to cheat or leave because of the kids which are all teenage boys. I’m definitely not a happy guy and probably am depressed by of this. Almost left once and she convene to stay. But we are back to the same spot. Need the balls to change but find it difficult. I love your channel.
Have you sought therapy?
@@marlonmoncrieffe0728 yes, we did go a few years ago. But nothing recently. She got offended the last time we went like she thought nothing was wrong and I’m just some sex freak. It’s the connection I’m looking for not necessarily the sex all the time. She seems to enjoy tiktok and video games though.
As long as I feel valued and included I would have no desire to even look at someone else.
Men aren't usually high maintenance. We want peace when we're at home (remember that). We have basic needs in the bedroom as well (don't use that as a weapon... that will only 'seem' to work until he won't stand for it any longer). If you have a man of conviction, he will follow through on his commitments and won't be swayed by emotions and is resistant to temptation. A man that's decided you are serious and you can be trusted to not treat him as "just for fun.... until you aren't fun anymore", you have a 'rock' you can rely on. Every family needs that steady 'rock' (no matter what happens, the kind of man that will put himself into harms way when it comes down to it... the protector... he'll protect his investments and you are an investment to him among other things). If you aren't servicing his 'basic' needs and just become a 'costly' roommate and breaking that covenant with him (betraying him) you may leave him with little other options (respect is important with men and betrayal is never forgotten... albeit can be forgiven in some cases but betrayal lowers your value to him forever, you'll never shake that). Even that doesn't mean a man will waver on his convictions (a funny little thing about men). If you invalidate his conviction by cheating on him... god help you. If you are a good wife, you'll strengthen his conviction (and if you have a poor unmarriagable attitude and treat him like a boyfriend...aka: "just for fun until he is not fun anymore" you're sewing the seeds of self-destruction... eventually, that will lead to a lot of non-consentual expenses he has to deal with until the breaking point... men DO have limits so don't tempt those limits... limit your expense on him emotionally and financially and he'll remain convinced you are a keeper).
The short story is MAKE SURE he stays convinced you are a "keeper" and you'll have a his unwavering conviction to you. He's not there to keep you entertained (albeit he will entertain you and himself as well as appropriate). Keep yourself unbroken.... there is NO broken woman that is a "keeper" (he can't put humpty dumpty back together again... so if you ever need therapy... go get it and don't put that on him).
One final thought. Although men are usually low maintenance, any man will tell you that women require more maintenance and investments than he will ever require. Men accept that... but not blindly. He'll make investments on your behalf to make you reasonable comfortable. Stay in that 'reasonable' zone. When you creep outside of the reasonable zone, he will value you less (albeit it may appear he values you more given the more he has to invest in you.... but that just makes you a bad investment and that will 'test' his conviction to you and make him question _if_ you are really a 'keeper'). Unfortunately, we live in a world the art of being a 'keeper' is not widely practiced (usually the 'kids' and failure to get a prenup become the last failsafes a man has to still keep an unsuitable... perhaps even exhausting woman).