Christian Moms Be Like
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 8 ต.ค. 2024
- "Deviled eggs?! Not in my house!" John Crist is every Christian Mom.
John Crist is a standup comedian. For more videos, bio and live tour dates, visit www.johncristco...
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"no, it's not a sin but is it wise?" Put that on my grave
And in my obituary.
@@bean6099 smart
Yessss
My mom did say that 😂
Yes
As someone who is being raised in a Christian household I felt this on a spiritual level
Tbh my mom and someone else I know it’s kinda like this... but this isn’t as much as I knew
Welcome to the club xD
YeemGames Same! Lol 😂
lmaoooo spiritual
ON A SPIRITUAL LEVEL AHAHAHAH
"We pray a hedge of protection"
I. CANT.
THIS IS MY CHILDHOOD.
Mine too lol.
DUDE every time
Lil Spitfire ITS ME RN
s A M E E
Mine was a spiritual dome lmaooo
My mom called them angel eggs instead of deviled eggs. Didn’t find out they were deviled eggs until I was in college and was very embarrassed when I got corrected🤦♀️
Same!!! We called them angeled eggs.
We call them doubled eggs XD
@@em7pug26 So do we
@@em7pug26 same
That is hilarious 😂👏
me: "i hate this"
my mom: "you don't need to hate anything but the Devil"
Just a Taco the comments are at 666 and I'm not changing it
By some accounts, God doesn’t hate the devil and would gladly forgive him if the devil wanted forgiveness. But hey, we all know that ain’t happening, even given an eternity.
@@twagetomato Nah fam, who knows, anyone can change, right? Maybe the Devil will get tired of hell and open up to God.
Just a Taco and his demons
Stranger Danger
By then it's already to late.
You forgot
“School is boring”
Mom: That’s the devil in your head
Lavii 😂😂😂
"i don't feel like going to church"
The devil is telling you to sloth
My mom thought the devil was everywhere then she got divorce and everything change lol
Lavii lmaoooo my mom 😂
Lavii But school actually is boring, Karen!
me :*breathes*
my mom: "does that glorify God???"
😂😂😂😂
🤣🤣
That low key happens to me
This might be where i die
Lmao
Me: watches a PG movie
Movie: says butt
My Mom: what's the rating on that? I don't like the language they're using.
Then she should try watching into the spider-verse XD they straight up say hell
How can your parents be that strict?
💀 not my mom, my grandma
That is my mom
@@otakumangastudios3617 Antz would be a field day! :)
me: singing a song
My mom: oh so you can remember that song but not a verse in the bible
Ok that is too accurate
Or "you remember that, but not anything important like your grades and your test tomorrow? _Did you study?"_
O M F G THIS INFURIATES ME EVERYTIME AHDJFMFLQMFLDL
They say nothing's perfect this is the most perfect and relatable comment ever. They love to say that when it comes to schoolwork
Yes... And she does that with movie quotes too
PLEASE do a video on church ladies gossiping!! They always try to mask it as a prayer request lol 😂🤦🏽♀️
Who, me? 😆
😂😂😂
This! 😂😂❤️
YAASSSSS!!!! I'm so glad I'm not the only one who has experienced this! 😀
Oh please do!!! Lol...my moms church ladies were soooo bad....lol
"You don't need luck, you need Jesus" Anybody else heard their Mom say that?
me :)
My dad was Irish so he was kinda torn
Me I say that 😂😂😂
na y Yes 😭😂
All ways 😅
"Practice makes progress because only Jesus is perfect" -My mom all the time
I am a christian homeschool mom. Practice makes progress is our homeschool motto. We also say progress, not perfection and excellence belongs to us, perfection belongs to God.
@@jenniferharley8987 that’s cringe 😐
@@cowboylikemolly Why? Would you teach your children not to practice needed skills? Would you expect perfection? The things I teach are based on biblical principles. My very personal belief is that this is what God expects of me. Not everyone has to believe what we believe and I am teaching my son that. I hope your day is full of joy and light. 😊
@@jenniferharley8987 Girl- 💀🤚🏻 I was joking, honey, don’t take me seriously I don’t really believe in god xoxo
That’s right.
My grandma makes me call lucky charms “blessed trinkets”
😂😂😂😂
Sugar n Spice haha
Sugar n Spice I’m actually dying 😂
God bless her heart, I love rhat
These comments are gold! Going to remember this the next time we have ‘blessed trinkets’! 😂 Too cute.
No way lol 🤣🤣🤣
You forgot the VeggieTales DVDs and the extensive praying at every meal
I was raised catholic and i feel that on a deep level
Ana Random nice pfp
"Bless us, O Lord, for these thy gifts which we are about to receive from thy bounty, through Christ, our Lord, Amen"
^is that right? It's been like 15 years since I've had to pray before meals lol.
😭‼️
😂😂🍅🥒
Can't forget about:
Me: "mom, I can't find my bag"
Her: "did you pray for the lord to show you where it is?"
Lmao I asked Satan to help my friend find his stolen binder and he found it the next day
Yuki Arcturus I summoned a demon to help me find my glasses. They were under a blanket. Sometimes he just comes over and we watch movies and make fun of plot holes. He’s really chill
I’m literally laughing out loud!!! Why did I think that was just my mom😂😂😂
lol...... my mom!
What??😂😂😂
This is so relateble For my mom Especially She even has those “Live laugh Love” signs💀
I can so relate.
Yes! I can also relate to that.
She is a karen
My mom had signs that day is live, laugh, hunt. lol
*say*
My mom:
“Would you say that if god was here?”
Nah, my momma would remind me that God IS HERE, and he's watching
My response: if god was here your mouth would be on the floor not scolding me
She forgets he's always here... So yes
We'd be dead or I'm getting a baby brother.
666 likes 😂
My mom used to pray for safety and "Lord surround us with your angels" every time she drove us anywhere. In hindsight, maybe I should've been wary of her driving.
Annie K sub to me
Lol that's my mom, but she says it in Spanish.
Annie that’s good
Hahaha! I'm a mum now and I do that!!
Annie K yep, LOL!
When my little boys were fighting I would say over them loudly, “ Be ye kind one to another, forgiving each other as God in Christ forgave you!” I don’t remember it helping. They’re in their 30’s now and are good friends. There is hope!😎
That’s kinda cringe bro 😳
@brad - It’s just a weird thing to say lol
That's kinda hilarious. 😂
I say this to the girls I teach at church all the time. 💀 I'm hoping one day it'll sink in, lol. 😂😂
❤️
Coming from a Christian household, I can FULLY relate to the lucky charms one.
Me: thats so lucky!
My mom: "Thats not luck, Its God!"
It's a blessing
I can only relate to the storm one
My husband wasn’t raised Christian, but he gets super huffy at jokes about luck. It REALLY offends him and it didn before he converted.
It did, that is.
Although God's hand is in everything...luck is a real thing in the bible.
Me: haha hey mom look at this
Mom: *visible disapproval*
And then she takes away my "electronics"
EXACTLY
why I keep my phone far away from my mom
That comment is at 666 likes, can’t have that
She's just mad because she's being called out 😂
“I mean no it’s not a sin... but is it wise?”
Literally every Church Mom.
@Karenpichardo
@@genxkay358 bro my mom has literally said this 5 times in the last 3 days 😂
@@Omaritin LOLL NOOO
HAHAHAAHAH
“Give him a hug and tell him your favorite Bible verse”🤣🤣🤣
You forgot when they play Christan music on your Bluetooth speakers 24/7
My mom does that EVERY MORNING the same bad songs. I always turned them off so I can eat breakfast in peace.
My mom does it with the Alexa lol. She puts on a Christian radio station, puts it on full volume, and it be like eight in the morning and we have neighbors upstairs.
Heh true 😂
My mum plays them in the car 🙄🙄
"Jesus, take thE wHeEEewHeEEeEeEeL"
me: omg i love cake
my mom: no, you love God. you LIKE cake
Christian moms in Brazil same thing lol
Just a question from an atheist here, i am honestly curious, not trying to be annoying or sarcastic here. Do you also really love god and so yes, why?
Ellebell i love him just like my own father cause that’s who he is. God is the best God ever because he is so forgiving and if you do something wrong, you just need to ask him for forgiveness and he will forgive you. No matter what some people say, God never punishes anyone. He loves every person the exact same with his whole heart. No matter what you do God will always be where you are with open arms. He wants to be your best friend that you can just tell him your problems. I love him because he made me and he sent down his only son (who loves us just as much as God does) to die for us so we could have a chance to live in heaven. I don’t know what I would do if I didn’t know God. If you need a good preacher who you can relate to, search up Sadie Robertson. If you have any other questions, don’t be afraid to ask. God sent Christians down to this world to tell people about him. If you want to read the Bible then there’s a free Bible app with no adds or purchases called YouVersion. 😊
Ellebell also, if you like rap, i would suggest to listen to NF or Lecrae. If you like more of a pop mix then TobyMac, Aaron Cole, and Hollyn are good to listen to. Just look up Christian music and I promise you will not be disappointed.
@@nicolepetereit7567 wait, nf is a Christian rapper. I am Christian and I listen to everything from Fitz and the tantrums to bluface. I love nf and I really did know he was Christian, great rapper to listen to when I am around my parents. Have a blessed day.
P.S Toby Mac is👌
as someone with a christian mom,, you forgot the “live laugh love” signs and crosses on the walls.
Adah AHHAHA YES
Adah ikr I have a verse that is a rock or a cross on the wall that says “God is my rock”
Adah oh m- OH MY GO-
accurate 😂
I have a christian mom and she doesn't have any of those
"Give me the phones and the iPads it's 9'oclock go read a book"
My mother expected me to be in bed and asleep by 8 every night.
8?!? You're mother is soooo cool!
@Lilaina y u p T - T
Kids need sleep for healthy development.
And nothing wrong with that!
And screentime for children is destructive in excess.
Stepmom: **Comes in my room**
**My light is off**
Her: "LET THERE BE LIGHT"!
😂😂😂
And it was good
My mom
Mina_Jungkook YESS
I do this to my family all the time. 😂😂😂
Most relatable: “Well no, it’s not a sin but IS IT WISE?” 🤣🤣🤣
And now I find MYSELF saying it!! 😂
Lololololol
thats so my mom
this is the BEST
“We don’t believe in luck”
That is my parents 100%
My parents say “I don’t need luck I have Jesus”
Hannah They are right.
Wow that's sad.
@@connordavis1094 Sad for you, not them. And they don't care how you feel, so...
its truth tho
Neither can do anything so
I was at the beach with my friend and her mom came running to us with a sand dollar all happy saying ‘Look what Jesus gave me!!’
I'm not Christian at all, so one time, I was at an event, and I left my bag somewhere else at the event, and I mentioned it to this lady who worked there. She was super ultra religious christian, and she didn't understand how talking like her religious beliefs were the one and only could potentially be offensive to someone of a minority religion, so she basically went all out, telling me that she's going to pray to Saint Anthony, to make sure that I got my bag back. I was trying to be like no no you don't have to, and she took it as humility. Big facepal moment
I eventually did find the bag, but I think it had more to do with the fact that the Creator gave me some bit of guidance, along with a functioning human brain, not because some woman prayed to a saint lol
Someone is an extra facepalm, especially when I ran into her again, and mentioned that I found the bag, and then she belted out
"It worked!"
Awww, so sweet!
Adorable
"When was the last time you read the Bible?"
Or
"Did you pray before you ate that?"
"When was the last time you read the Bible" is my mom every time I tell her I am feeling emotionally unwell 😂
For me it’s “instead of using those brain-rotting electronics you should read the Bible and meditate to God.” And if not that then something school-related.
Those are what my grandma asks me almost every single time I visit her lmao
Or " you better make sure you pray before you sleep, go to school, or when u wake up"
Creepy.
My moms WiFi password growing up was JESUSSEESYOU
Shes a good mom 😊
Instantly makes me not want to search yaoi good job moms
Ooooohohoho boi that ain't gonna stop me
Tommy 92675 never stopped me 😂
@@nainai3102 sksksksksks 😂😂
You forgot the part where Harry Potter books and Pokemon cards are banned for being witchcraft 😂 I hope there's a part 2!
Well they are 🤷♀️
@@victoriaportillo2237 How is Pokemon witchcraft, lol?
My mom saw the Harry Potter movies and read it first book. She knows it is a work of fiction.
I thought I was the only one.
@@mrpotatopug7601 pocket monster that is what the name stands for.
"deviled eggs? who brought these in my house." 😂
Me 😀
You might be verified on twitter but are you verified IN THE EYES OF GOD
RIP vine
IT'S GOD YOU IMBECILE (no but seriously it is God 😂❤️)
This isn't Reddit
Chargirl how is that a r/whoosh
Chargirl The original vine says God, not lord you absolute dunce.
I’m sorry that is clearly the kitchen of a single millennial. A Christian moms kitchen would have at LEAST 3 “live love laugh” signs.
Haha or Galatians 6:9 lol
'As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.'
No tennis shoes, wrappers from some food you don't approve of, school papers, ear buds, etc. on the table
Melanie Anne Ahern yep!
😂😂
Me: hey mom I've been feeling really bad lately I think I really need to see a therapist
Mom: JuSt COunT youR bLESsiNgS aNd ReaD YOuR biBLE
OH YES RELATABLEEEE
Thank Jesus my parents weren’t like that.
"THROUGH THE GRACE OF GOD, YOUR clinical depression SHALL BE HEALED"
'...Ma, I don't think it worked..'
"WeLl MaYbE iT's BeCaUsE yOu DoN't LoVe JeSuS eNoUgH."
@@PumpkinLicorice My grandmother said the same exact thing last week-
I hate that I can relate.
Grew up in a very Christian home, we weren’t allowed to say “deviled eggs” we had to call them “angel eggs.”
It’s neither! They’re chicken eggs!
🤣🤣🤣
I did too! We still called them deviled eggs but my tiny innocent self somehow thought it was a whole new word that only related to eggs!
I also never realized that “Cruella Devill is literally Cruel Devil at the ripe old age of 25”
@@delanisamuela4067 best comment! 😂👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
😂😂😂 that’s so incredible to me. My mom was made to study her fanny off to be a nurse & was not allowed to even cook growing up, in the 40’s. She was a great head nurse, but a lousy cook & we never made deviled eggs. It was great to finally have some at other people’s houses, though!
Hedge of protection for thunderstorms...mom, is that you?
This is soooooo my wife!
That's my entire family loool
Yes!!!
That hedge better be grounded
And then my momma starts singing too. Any Christian song with the word "Shine" in it! :)
1.3k dislikes from Christian Moms thinking, “Why in God’s name is this young man acting like a woman?”
DeshaunX 😂
that’s BIG BRAIN COMMENT
nah they wouldn’t use the name of god in vain like that
LMAO
He's acting like a crazy Christian parent, , not really a woman,.
"it's not a sin but is it wise"
*Me, immediately experiencing war flashbacks to my whole childhood:* oh no
Zone Doll lol😂
me, whose mom isn’t anything like this: *yes this is so relatable*
My mom is dead
@ツ Solarflare studios ツ It fine, bascule my girlfriend is really cute
My mom would be like this but she’s Asian so there’s a twist
My family’s atheist.
Brandon Nguyen _n i c e_
@@brittanynguyen3794 woah your mom acts christian despite not being christian? now thats a twist!
shrek onion no it’s my dad, but he mostly cares about grades. He doesn’t care if I watch a show about rocks.
@@brittanynguyen3794 so... your saying there isnt a plot twist?
Back in the 80s when I lived in a college dorm, one of the other students wouldn’t let her roommate bring her bag of takeout food inside the room because the receipt totaled $6.66
One time I said I am going to die today. Jokingly of course because I made $666.66.
I won't like something if it already has 665 likes you can be sure of that !
My family is very christian but my dads bday is 6/6/1966. I love making jokes about it 😂
Alissa Shaw That’s such a funny coincidence! No wonder it’s a family joke...I’d guess that folks ask to look at his scalp like the kid in the Omen!
Me: Mom, my anxiety is getting kind of bad, can I go see a therapist?
My mom: You need to pray about it
@@frisk14human10 so prayer is going to fix anxiety 😑
@@lesternsiahasante3411 prayer goes through the lord and he will answer, so yes yes it does
@@frisk14human10 have ever had anxiety or seen someone experience anxiety? Just asking not trying to attack you
@@lesternsiahasante3411 Well yea I did....I did
@@frisk14human10 are you 14? I'm 14
I’m Christian and this made me laugh! 😂😂😂
"Walk by faith, not by website" I'm stealing that one lol
"Now give him a hug and tell him your favorite bible verse" 😂😂😂
Hahaha.... My mum was all like: "Do the Dishes, like you're doing them for Jesus!...."
Sigh...Just do the dishes.
Lol That’s a good one! I bet those dishes were spotless and shiny! 😁😂🥣🍽🍴
Awww that's kind of cute.
Secretly, I was all like: "I bet Jesus wouldn't MAKE me do Dishes!... I'm a Mary, not a Martha...." lol
That's the best. Haha
"Lettuce pray" - dead 😂
One my mom always said:
Us: Oh my gosh! It's so good!
My mom: No, God is good.
Hahahahahahahahahaha my mom would wait for someone to say "all the time" after that lol....oh...moms
@@thevillage2.058 lmao right! 😂😂
HAHA
Or someone says "Jesus!" on television, she says Praise Him"!
Now say that in arab
StRap C4
Growing up in a spanish christan household, i can't tell you how many times i heard all these sorts of words, but it included more chanclas
And the discipline came in not one but TWO languages! You know, for extra effect
Same lol
it's either praise jesus or get your ass beat 💀
@Bruh Moment meh i don't really care
@@huekaluvr hell yeah!
Nothing about immodest clothing or everyone driving around in one accord?
No Harry Potter freakout.
Has someone who lives in a Christian household, this isn’t how we act, but this did make me laugh xD
Why’d you have to say xD why- just why
My mother is pretty much like this and we aren't even Americans, I have a baby and I see myself being like this. It's sweet.
True. I’m way different but still try to sneak some Christian values in jokes that my children don’t get yet. It’s hilarious. 😁
You forgot “mom I can’t sleep”
Mom: why don’t you pray
Ngl praying does help me sleep sometimes
More like, "read the Bible till you fall asleep." My Mom tells me to do that.
OMG MY MOM DOES THAT😂😭
That actually works though lol I be in the middle of the Lord's prayer and yawn
@@hetherdane9479 thats pretty bad it's more like an distraction while praying so I try not to do that
“Jesus knows who’s lying” or “tell the truth and shame the devil”
Haha!My parents say ”choose your words wisely God’s watching’
Matthew Stanford my parents have always told me that if I was lying God knows😂.
I used to tell this one to my sister when I was younger it always got her to tell the truth (I started using it because my mom told me it and I was always honest) lol
Hannah SO TRUE OML 😂
Tell the truth and shame the devil ☝🏾😂
He did not talk about shorts, I expect a part two 😂
Jeans or skirts, no shorts allowed
Shorts must go below your fingertips when arms are down. My old church had this rule for camp lol 😆
Or tank tops, no straps smaller than three fingers!
That's exactly what I was thinking 😂
No shorts, only skirts that go down to your ankles for girls.
"You're welcome to have 12 friends at your birthday party, as long as 1 of them turns against you."
Me : WHAT FRIENDS
😂😂😂
Except Judas thought he was helping Jesus, not realizing that his is not an earthly kingdom
“i may not know if you tell the truth or not, but jesus does and that’s between you and him”
also let’s not forget veggie tales
Char OMG YESSS
LMAOO VEGGIE TALES
I have yet to meet a sensible non christian who didn’t like veggie tales! And I hope it stays that way because i would probably be pretty angry if someone said anything mean about it (criticism=/=mean)
I'm really offended for using lowercase j in Jesus
My mom is a Christian women obsessed with the walking dead, here are my favorite quotes from her:
"Do you really think my faith in the Lord is so weak that a TV show is gonna corrupt it?"
"People say God didn't answer their prayer when they don't get what they want. God answered your prayer, he said no."
What tell that is the devils show she should ask gosld for forgiveness cause god is coming soon
TELL HER I SAID SHE IS NOT A REAL CHRISTIAN IF SHE WATCHES THAT SHOW
Your Mom sounds fun, I like her mind set. I wish more die hard 'Christians' were more open minded. Not everything is there to corrupt and I believe there are lessons that can be learned in some of these shows that 'Christians' are so against.
Mine watches the vampire diaries and stranger things and other teen shows and she is Christian lol 😂
@Galactic- -Tears it has, but that's not my argument. I am trying to say that the strict and harsh gospel we have is real and should not be made in softer sense. We need to understand that God does not like the modern arranges pastors make to fit people's desires while still attending church. We need to accept it. I know we are not perfect, but i don't lie to myself saying that God is okay with my sin. He wants us to take his word literally and not rearrange it to fit our opinion of what is good or bad.
God bless your mom
"If your eyes cause you to sin cut em out ... All CAPS" 😁😁😂😂😂😂😂😂just subscribed
@@chaoticgood12 😂
you forgot the "Live, Laugh, Love" signs everywhere in the house
“Tap water”
“Bottled water”
“Living water”
WHAT ABOUT HOLY WATER🙏💦
......skdnjdndkd oops🤓
army know that concept very well🙄🙄😅
What is this supposed to mean lol😂
@@kys191 nothing.. 😂😂😂
Hehe😏
"Tell him sorry. I wanna hear it! Now give him a hug and tell him your favorite Bible verse!"
If this isn't my mom, I don't know what is!!!! 😂😂😂
Rachel Mims
Sorry!
*hugs*
My favorite bible verse is Matthew 7:7-8
I did it!
My parents would make us hug each other, kiss each other's cheeks and sing the sister song from Barney to each other.
Note to self: gotta add a bible verse when I ask them to apologise 😂
I'm 44 years old and my mom STILL corrects me when I use the word "lucky" in a convo.
True story, I subconsciously correct myself when I say “lucky”, thanks to my parents 😂
I'm kinda confused on this luck thing can someone explain it to me
@@pinheadlarry1977 i guess christians aren't supposed to believe in luck??? i find that kinda dumb and i'm catholic myself...
@@yourfriendliv7127
That's not it.😂 The deal is that nothing happens by coincidence or luck, Jesus is in control of everything that happens, so to say that something happened by luck is crazy. Though, I personally think it's really weird that anyone would freak out over a phrase like, "that was lucky." My parents never did that.
@@squidaker i knew it was something like that... thanks for explaining.
"The walking dead are you serious that's what your gonna be if Jesus comes back and see you watching that show"😁😂
We won’t have time to watch any shows when Jesus comes back well at that moment in the twinkling of an eye like 1/1,000 of a second seriously
Mel B AMEN ANYTIME NOW!!!!!
@@MelB868 amen amen to thatt
My response to that would be: "Yep, all day everyday."
Catholic moms be like: "Ah do whatever the Hell you want, but remember, mass is at 8am."
"Lord, we pray a hedge of protection around this house."
That was my Mom.
Mine too
That’s mine too!
Cowboy Hat Radio That IS my mom and to make thinks worst she's a preacher
Yup, we had so many “hedges of protection” I started praying for bushes and trees of protection instead just to change it up lmao
i still do it bc it makes me feel safe haha
*“Lettuce pray.”*
I laughed. Hard. Very. Hard.
Vic Toria wanna taco bout Jesus
_orange_ you glad it’s winter
Yes, that was so lovely. It made me laugh
Knock knock, who is it?! Orange , orange who, Orange you glad I came.
XD good one
What about:
"Mom I'm bored"
*Why don't you read the Bible?*
1000 Subs No videos that would be my dad😂😂😂
YES OMG
Omg yes
OMG EVERYDAY!!!
Omg I relate so much ! 😂
yoooo my mom is Christian and my dad is atheist but my dad acts more like this I'm really confused lolol
Is your dad trying to appease your mum? I’m an agnostic atheistic Buddhist, but was raised Christian. Thank god my parents never acted like this.
Bits and pieces, sure, but like 10% is better than 100%.
Moms are scary
@@vodkaontherox Moms can know how to be more manipulative ngl and Dads know how to hit your sweet spot
@@4rkain3 Wait, as an Asian, I can't understand how a person can be agnostic as well as a Buddhist at the same time.
@@madeupflags I don’t believe in a god. I don’t believe Buddha was a god. I believe in the teachings of Buddha, however. There are many different schools of Buddhism, and they can be vastly different in their interpretations and applications of Buddha’s teachings. Even then, especially with Zen/Chan Buddhism, the experience of the teachings is incredibly individual, and there can be huge variation even among students of a single school of Buddhism (even among students of the same exactly school of Zen/Chan Buddhism, for example). I’m a student of Zen Buddhism, personally.
Edit: Also, I believe that it’s impossible to know whether or not their is a god. Hence the “agnostic” part. I take the stance/assumption (in my case, it’s more of a philosophical assumption-so it means I live my life assuming it, while also knowing and accepting I could be wrong) that there is no god or higher power, so that’s the “atheist” part.
“Quit leaving out your fleece! Who do you think you are? Gideon?” That’s a deep cut! 😂Definitely my fave line.
I haven't used that one. Thanks for the idea.
I can't use that around here. My Gideon would get upset. Lol
My favorite too!! Lol!!
You forgot about having Pureflix instead of Netflix
Also sky angel.
Yep
What the heck is Pureflix?
Idk but it better not be real...
What about Sky angel lol
My Catholic grandmother didnt want to get cable as "it was the devils work" (even tho my mom begged and begged ) until someone told her u can watch the pope and she got cable the next day.
Edit: i think i need to specify that i myself am not religious, and didn't want to start a war. Okay have a good one :)
Dude that's Catholic. A Christian wouldn't follow the pope.
@@imarvg8285 finally someone who knows the difference.
My bad i dont rlly know the difference as my mom refused to follow a religion :P
@Melon Sauce I understand that
@@jakegibson4499 ???
"Lord we pray the hedge of protection around this house"
Why is this so true?..
I'm so glad my mom used to pray that over our house when I was growing up!!🙌🏼
Me: *falls asleep before church*
Mother: *THE DEVIL IS WHISPERING IN YOUR EAR*
My parents be saying that next thing u know
ZZZZzzZZ bitches sleeping
Mine would say, "he's blowing sleep on your eyes"
Mama told me "the devil is hanging on your upper eyelids so your eyes will close". Imagine me as a 7year-old back then. I was awake the entire time lol
Zeal Mae 😆
@@msims1081 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Me: Brings home a pokemon card
Mom: "EXCUSE ME? IS THAT SATAN I SEE IN YOUR HAND?"
Lonely Truth my mom literally burned all of my decks that I built up in my schools Pokémon black market
@@Rishi_Moon yes sounds like mine lol
@@Rishi_Moon omg shucks
I feel bad for the Karen you call your mother.
My brother got bakugan toys with cards once and she took the cards, ripped them up and threw them out the window.
*For some reason she let him keep the actual toys*
Okay but coming from a Christian,
*why the hell is this blatantly accurate?*
HONESTLY LIKE-
*Shooketh. Unite, my Christian children*
*mOOD.*
I'm Mormon and my parents aren't like this in the slightest
_r u guys ok-_
*like- should i call child services*
“Hell”!?!? may the LORD forgive you for using that word😫😫
I live in tornado alley so that’s literally me praying every time we get any kind of warning 😂
You forgot that we are banned from reading Harry Potter 😂
HAAHAHHAHAAH
Me: *Laughs as tears flow down my cheeks*
Laughs in normal fucking Christan house hold
NO WITCHCRAFT IN MY HOUSE
What? You poor thing- I can’t imagine growing up like that
“We do NOT believe in luck in this house.” LMAOOOOO
True though
. . , or "charms" !! 😛
they didn't get in the house in the first place
@Digby Dooright She’s what J would want my wife to be
@Digby Dooright 😂😂😂
“Quit leaving out your fleece, who do you think you are..Gideon?”
😂 love that
I’m just proud of your bible knowledge 😂
I thought this was Trey, their acting is so similar.
Me An INFP I didn’t even know it wasn’t Trey until I saw your comment...
NeonStrikerTV same..whoops
Me An INFP ikr
I think they are long lost twins because they look so similar
Me too
“The walking dead? Are you serious? That’s what you’re going to be if Jesus comes back and sees you watching that show”
I love TWD and my mum says the same thing and that the walkers are demons SKSKSKSKS LOL
I never watched it on TV but my mom wouldn't say that
Christina Stephens my dad is a pastor and my mom and sister and I love watching Stranger Things 😂😂😂
Christina Stephens S A M E
Skskskks and i oop and i oop sksksks STOP
Christina Stephens me and my mum both love The Walking Dead can’t wait for Season 10
“You’re only allowed to bring 12 friends because that’s how many friends Jesus had.” 🤣still laughing
😂Thank God for Jesus!
As a Christian kid with a Christian Mom, this is pretty accurate and when you pulled out the Magnolia story book, perfection.
Technically Jesus has 11 friends after that one dude ratted him out, but aight...
But then he replaced Judas with Matthew, right? So that’s still 12
All my friends rat my secrets out so.......
Hahahhaha
unapologetically canadian Matthias ** matthew is one the og
Judas *NO*
Me: hey mom, if you’re supposed to love god above all else does that mean you love him more than me?
Mom: absolutely
I think the right answer to that question would be that there's different types of love, and that she has a different type of love for God and her children. Idk if there's actually a word for love of God but it'd be like how there was agape love, romantic love, love of objects, etc.
My mom said she would kill herself if God asked her to.... Yup. Just leave me behind just like that if God wanted her to. I think theres a line....
@@twixxsticks2806 You ain't shit compared to the All mighty boah.
@@qbcreamer4493 😅😅I love the way you said and you're correct 👏
Y'all some weirdos. Mom do you love God the creator of heaven and Earth and all that is holy or me a creature that God made that is a sinner
I absolutely can see my mom throwing out the Lucky Charms!
😄
(Come to think of it, I don't recall her ever buying them.)
My mom ALWAYS said that about lucky charms then tossed them out😂😂
Lucky😂😂
Girl same!
Mine never bought them cause they have no nutritional value. But then she did buy other junk food.....
Rebecca that’s a waste of food
people who didn’t grow up Christian have probably never heard the term “hedge of protection”
You forgot when she randomly out of nowhere, reads an "inspirational quote" out of her inspirational quote book out loud.
omg the hedge of protection part and we don’t believe in luck in this house are so accurate
My mom isn't Christian but my friend's mom is exactly like this and I love it
Please tell me Why you love it? Seriously, is it just entertaining or something..... anything else? I am a Christian momma but I hope I'm not this obnoxious. It's extremely funny, but I can't imagine living with someone like that... though I do know mommas that are, they aren't as funny when they verbalize it.
Daveda Howell well my friend's mom sounds so passive aggressive when she pulls out a Bible verse for every situation. When she isn't being passive aggressive I think it's so funny when she acts like she has brunch with Jesus everyday weekend. I'm not used to being around a mom like that all the time, despite the rest of my family being Christian, but I don't really see it as obnoxious.
So she throws away cereal that’s perfectly good and deviled eggs for no reason that’s perfectly good?
@@MelB868 not far off. My friend once gave me a shirt she got as a gift because her mom wouldn't let her wear it. She couldn't wear it because the corners had those small ribbons you tie together.
I would aye to have a parent like that also my family not religious or at least in in my moms house.
The most accurate for me is: “You know the rules, no screens after 9PM.”
In my family 9pm is bedtime and the youngest of my siblings is 11 the oldest is 17 but we all have to go to bed at 9
You should’ve done one where you woke up the kids by the song “RISE AND SHINE AND GIVE GOD YOUR GLORY! GLORY!!!”
istg i hated that
Jesus Christ THIS COMMENT. Legit died. (And now that song, which I haven't heard in decades, is stuck in my head. THANKS.)
MΛGGIΣ C this reminds me a lot of shine Jesus shine or like the kids in my school sing it
SHINE JEJUS SHINE FLOOD THE NTOINFS QUTH GRZE ANS MEECI
@@ShamimKhan-gj8ug AAUUUUGGHHH thanks a lot. Now THAT song's going to be stuck in my head, LOL.
Sometimes I sing that to my siblings when they wake up, or to wake them up :D
John: Love, joy, peace,...
Me: *starts singing fruits of the spirit* ... Patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-controooooooollll
Cøle ßølt oh my gosh my little sister just got done with that bible lesson at church the other week and she won’t stop singing that song 😂
Man me at girls camp this summer lol
Me and my cousins just scream the camp songs the fruits of the spirit and if you know
"Behold he comes
RIDING ON A CLOUD
SHINING LIKE THE STARS
*AT THE TRUMPETS CALL*"
Sorry this is what girls camp is like
Wait there's a song? I just memorized in normal talking
Me: mum I am having a hard time seeing things, I might need glasses
Mum: pray to God
is that DARN PHONE
that's what my mom says but with my depression
that’s not a bad thing, it might work
@@annexsis5181 I'm sorry. It's okay to get counseling or medication for depression. God won't be angry. Are you a believer ?
Omg
0:01 “Kids, listen up! I don’t wanna hear any complaints about dinner, or this will be your Last Supper!”