Paediatrician: Boarding School With Piers: Suicide, Sexual Abuse | AEM #91 Dr William Verling
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 21 มี.ค. 2024
- Consultant Paediatrician: I Went To School With Piers: Suicide, Sexual Abuse, Safeguarding AEM#91 Dr William Verling
PLEASE NOTE: We talk about suicide and sexual abuse in this episode which some viewers may find triggering.
What was it like at Piers' boarding school? Today we talk to a man who lived in the same boarding house as Piers, the host of this podcast, for 7 years.
Today Dr William Verling, who is a consultant paediatrician, talks about what boarding school was like for him.
He also looks at it from his medical background - was there pastoral care, and safeguarding at this school?
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Dr William Verling is a consultant paediatrician who has worked as a doctor for over 20 years. He is the creator of a new app to improve patient experience, the founder of ParentMed, a training resource for new parents and the lead for Chill, Dorset, a not-for-profit organisation that uses cold water therapy to help people with anxiety and depression.
Some questions for Will:
1. I would love for you to share a little about what got you into the work you now do?
2. You work as the safeguarding lead for your hospital. With the information you now know what is your honest opinion about our boarding school?
3. If you were to sum up your boarding school experience in one word what would it be?
4. Could you please talk about your experiences of boarding school. What was the food, and environment like?
5. Could you please talk about the imposter syndrome. How does that relate to boarding school?
6. How has boarding school impacted you as an adult?
7. Others areas to talk about:
1. Voldemort and the horcruxes
2. Sackler and the empire of pain
3. CH - death and grief
4. CH - how emotions were received
5. CH - bullying
6. Duplicity
7. CH - Rick's death. What happened?
8. Physical and emotional neglect
9. CH - paedophiles
10. Leadership
11. Self-hatred
#safeguarding
To find out more about Will's work:
Parentmed: parentmed.co.uk/
Chill: chilluk.org/
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✅ Other Videos You Might Be Interested In Watching:
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• Boarding School Syndro...
👉 Overcoming Boarding School Trauma: Nick Duffell on Rebuilding Intimacy - AEM #21 | Piers Cross
• Overcoming Boarding Sc...
👉 Boarding School Trauma in Relationships: How to Love a Boarding School Survivor | Piers Cross
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✅ About Piers Cross:
Piers is a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, complex PTSD, boarding school syndrome, addictions and relationship problems. He also runs online men's groups and runs a podcast called An Evolving Man.
For collaboration and business inquiries, please use the contact information below:
📩 Email: piers@piers-cross.com
🔔 Subscribe to my channel for more videos: www.youtube.com/@pierscross/?...
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To all those who have suffered sexual abuse: You are WORTHY, You MATTER, LOVE YOU ✨💜✨.
As someone who has been through sexual abuse I want to echo the wise and wonderful words of LoveStar333
It's a unique difficulty in overcoming sexual trauma. But I am grateful to learn that there WILL be justice and Jesus loves us all. ❤ We can overcome and put up healthy boundaries. There's a real spiritual battle happening but we have armor and weaponry that works when you believe. Take care! 🙏
A really important unflinchingly honest conversation between two real real men. Thank you so much guys. You are champions. I cannot cry and have not cried for years and years but inside I was crying with you Piers. God bless you both.
Thanks Richard, bless you for your courage and your inspiration, take care 🙏
Thank you for this raw and honest conversation... powerful and hard to watch 😢
Thanks Martha, I appreciate your support. What Will shared was very powerful for me as well. Take care, Piers
Thank you so, so much Piers and Will for this video and I'm so glad I found it. You probably won't remember me as I left the year before Rick's death, and we just missed out on being in the same boarding house together. I cried through much of this. A friend from elsewhere in the school wrote to me to tell me what had happened, but there is a whole load to take in here regarding the pastoral care (or lack of) that I was simply unaware of. And one detail that I was painfully aware of. Again, thank you both so much for your openness and willingness to talk about these difficult things.
Good afternoon @DFJA01, thank you for your comment and for reaching out. The chances are that I will probably remember you. I am in touch with another man from Mid A on your year and I can remember quite a few of your year group as I used to come into Mid A to visit the housemaster as he was my tutor.
Yes, the pastoral care or lack of it. The common word I have heard from quite a few Old Blues from this period when describing CH is "feral". In my eyes there was no pastoral care.
I am glad that our conversation has been helpful to you.
Take care, Piers
@@pierscross Thanks for responding - it occurs to me my youtube handle probably doesn't give away my name but it's no secret - I'm Donald Allwright. Yes I think feral probably describes it very well. I've handled issues by 'burying' them, but that's really not sustainable. I was fortunate in having loving parents to return to outside term, but so many didn't have that. I'll be looking through all your videos as there will be others I find helpful. Thanks again for making such a valuable resource available.
Hi Donald, ah, yes, I do recognise the name and would probably recognise your face as well. You might have known me as Simon or Ziggy Cross. I changed my name in the first couple of weeks at CH so that I wouldn't get bullied. I was also a drum major with Martin D and led out the Friday band so our paths might have crossed in the band.
You might find this video with Amelia White who was on my year at school. She was sister of one of the boys in the year below you in Mid A. th-cam.com/video/08WbNwen_SA/w-d-xo.html
Take care Donald, Piers
lots of love and strength to all of the abuse survivors
Thank you @sarahbob8401, I appreciate your comment, take care, Piers
Super interesting! My brother went to boarding school & he's had difficult time recently in his 50s. Just been looking for info.
Thanks so much for this Piers. I've been following your podcasts for a while now and have found this episode particularly relevant and interesting as a fellow Old Blue just a couple of years older than yourself. I find myself thinking back to many similar experiences as those you discuss here. Very moving, keep up the great work!
Thank you Richard for your kind words. I would probably remember your face. I seemed to be able to remember everyone above me at CH. Thanks for your support, take care, Piers
Thank you, guys! 🙏🏼
Very much appreciate your openness and honesty. You're making the world a better place by sharing your experiences.
❤️❤️
Really great episode. So important from both of you.
Thanks Karen 🙏
Thank you for sharing your difficult experiences .....eyeopening on many levels to me as an ex teacher at a boarding school in Africa.
Thank you Linda for your comment. You might find this interview with headteacher Theuns Opperman who also worked in a boarding school in South Africa talking about duty of care in boarding schools. Take care, Piers
I actually went to another public school in West Sussex around the same time!
A small world. I wonder if we played sports against each other or our paths crossed as teenagers...
@@pierscross not me personally, I was shit at sports so that only contributed to my alienation. I'm amazed you weren't allowed duvets!
Phase out boarding schools by raising the minimum age to 13 and then to 16. Keep the private day schools, but tax them more by removing their charity status and charging VAT on school fees. They are no more a charity than a branch of Sainsbury's.
There are boarders who often change to private day schools or even state schools at 16 as they just can't handle boarding school anymore.
I was horrified to find that many British expats working abroad, for multinational companies, in the diplomatic service, for the EU or for NATO/SHAPE would send their children to boarding schools in the UK rather than the local British school. There is a British school in Tervuren near Brussels.
It would be better to have home tutors than be sent to a boarding school, as the very wealthy used to have, if the parents are moving around the world a lot or if living in an isolated area.
We are all affected by boarding school syndrome as many ex boarders are working in local government, the civil service, state schools, justice and the NHS as well as private schools, private health care, business, the law, the armed forces and the City.
Thank you @lemsip207 so true. I worked in the City and as an ex-pat so I can resonate with what you say. Take care, Piers
@pierscross I lived in Brussels at one time and found out that many or even most of the students at the British school weren't British. There was also a French lycee there that followed the French curriculum even though there were French medium state schools following the Belgian curriculum. Plus, an American school.