A Very Private School: Charles Spencer Opens up About the Abuse He Suffered at School
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 20 ม.ค. 2025
- In Charles Spencer's book A Very Private School: A Memoir, he recounts his time and experience at one of the most exclusive boarding schools in England. He details the abuse he suffered at the school, and explains why he chose to write the memoir.
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I have always had the upmost respect for Charles Spencer. A good man!
Well done his sister would be proud of him.❣️
Stomach turning is right. My heart breaks for all these young boys who had to suffer through such horrific abuse. It took courage to speak out.
Not just boys, I was 8 when I was sent away.
He’s a good man for bringing this into the light for all the children that suffered
Charles, you're a brave man to write down such horrific memories. There's no doubt it will help many other people, so hats off to you. Sending much love.
Astonishing read; it's amazing how many young children became well balanced adults after such horrendous and dehumanising treatment. It's brave of Earl Spenser to speak up!
They very much didn’t, and you’re a bit naive to think they did. They became experts at masking or seeming adjusted on the surface, as those before them were, and the cycle of abuse continues to this day.
They have been coping
I agree, they hid the pain but it still affects them. Spencer is going through his third divorce! The fact that a woman was his abuser is highly significant..
He is a brave man, throwing a light on these boarding schools. Thank you, Earl Spencer.
What a wonderful brave man Charles Spencer is. Such a kind heart. I'm so sorry he and the other boys suffered so badly at that school. No child should have to endure such awful treatment.
Like his sister Charles has great courage, emotional intelligence and a willingness to support others.
Breaks my heart to hear things like that . Poor little boy .
I thought about that woman, shouldn she be in prison , vile beast .
Police definitely needs to investigate and arrest all responsible.
Thank you Charles for making this aware to everyone .
Charles Spencer is a hero to write such a book. A man in his position to call out these evil people is very Nobel. ❤ I’m so sorry Earl Spencer.
What a lovely man. So kind. Horrible story and in that era it was acceptable. Good for Charles speaking out.
So accurate for our era; thank you for sharing and your courage.
Poor guy
This abuse should stop forever
Horrible, disgusting. What's wrong with humanity. Those schools should not exist. Those people should investigate.
Thank you for being so transparent the sooner we speak the truth we can go forward
I am struck not only by Spencer's emotional control in relating these horrific events, but also by his pellucid literary style--his description of Nanny Forster's predatory nature, in particular, as "veer[ing] between lazy unkindness and focused cruelty." He's a very brave man.
I can relate ...I was sent to a very strict school in Switzerland at 9.
Went to one in Kenya. The more Spencer speaks of this school from beatings, punishment, drills the more I realize how similar our schools were and the whole toughening up expectation.
Well done for speaking up Earl Spencer. Don't ever apologise for having 7 children!
Boarding schools are OK when you’re 18, so basically an adult going to the uni. Earlier is sick and psychologically damaging for a young child.
I respect him, and his sister, for standing up against abuse. You can tell the Spencer family was raised well. I wish them all the best❣️
With respect, they weren't raised well at all. Father beat up the mother, who ran off with another man, when Charles was two and Diana was five. They were stranded in a vast palace, with no maternal affection at all and sent off to boarding school at age eight and ten, but before then, they were fed while watching TV. They did not eat or converse with their father. To this isolated life, a "wicked stepmother" came, and the children disliked her intensely. Their biological mother had very little contact with them. Diana was "arranged" to marry a man who didn't love her. Her brother has had several marriages. This is not to condemn them, because they were brought up with no love, no comfort, no support, no hugs, no nurture at all. It is a miracle that they survived their childhood as well as they did.
Also, all four children witnessed domestic violence from their father to their mother, as children. Just because people are rich and in a Palace - sadly - does not mean that the basic tensions between men and women, just disappear.
My Father’s response to my pleas to be allowed to leave boarding school was “the fees have been paid, you wanted to go, you made your bed, now you get to lie in it.”Thanks Dad. Thankfully I was 16 & it was only one year, but it was traumatic & I was thankful to leave at the end of the year & move on to Teachers College.
Thank you for sharing your story. So sad 😢
I have read the Book. Very well written but also extremely sad and of course horrific.
Listened to this book on Audible. Terrible what happened to the young boys, would like to see justice if possible to the perpetrators involved at this school.
It amazes me that he endured such abuse on a daily basis, endured the loss of of his beautiful sister, and did get lost in his pain. He grew up determined to give a voice to those who do not have a voice.
IN SCOTLAND WE HAD TAWSE A BELT I WAS BORN IN 1953 MY LATE HUSBAND WENT TO PUBLIC SCHOOL NOT A BORDER MY MAN WAS BORN IN 1950 I SEND MY LOVE TO YOU IN MEMORY OF SISTER DIANA GOD REST HER SOUL❤❤❤❤❤❤😢😢😢😢😢😊😊😊😊😊😊❤❤❤❤❤❤
So happy for him that he did this. Brave man. May it shine a light for all those in need. He has been through a lot, clearly he did some very deep soul searching and went to the source of his pain. Well done and may it inspire countless others!
I am so sorry to hear this. I'm American, and always had a hard time understanding the tradition of boarding school, and this on top. Awful.
The story of legalised abuse that Charles tells happened to so many, not only at elite British boarding schools but at orphanages and residential schools throughout the world. Many in South Africa, Zimbabwe, Zambia, Kenya, India, Australia, Canada and other countries endured similar experiences. Vulnerable children left in the ‘care’ of those that had no business being in the vicinity of children and adolescents. What is now known as ‘Boarding School Syndrome’ is very real. My husband, like Charles, boarded from 8 - 18 at an elite school in England, as did my brother and all the males in my family. Until my husband was 12 he saw his parents once a year. They were busy building the empire. The repercussions of early boarding are far reaching and destructive. How can one possibly know how to be a partner or parent when one has grown up in an institution? And yet these men and women go out into the world having been told that they are privileged and with a fantasy of what a relationship involves. With a fantasy of how to be a parent. Quite simply, young children are not supposed to be emotionally independent and brought up by strangers. Yes, early boarding is neglect on every level but let’s not forget what it says about the parents who send their children away to be vulnerable and at the mercy of strangers.
Basically parents put them in an orphanage. No better, as parents hardly saw them.
Well said, let's not forget about the Nuns who were so cruel and wicked women, professing to doing Gods work,
How can parents send Thier children away? Awful
It was the “done” thing sadly. It was thought it would be good for networking. Likely too many of these aristocratic families didn’t deal with their children day to day anyway & would have them shipped off to Nannies & Governesses when they were at home
I was sent to boarding school in the 1970’s, I was there for 7 years.
There was no physical chastisement, but you miss the maternal affection, the love and care that you get from home. On the other hand, I had opportunities that I would never otherwise have had which helped me in many ways. Not sure whether or not that makes up for the negative aspects.
I admire Charles Spencer for speaking out now, Gives survivors who were abused in the 70s a voice.. I got canned all through high school. One time across my back. My dad went to the school and let's just say the canning stopped. My dad was my protector.
So brave. Disgusting to hear this happened.
It’s absolutely devastating to hear this story and I’m so sorry what those boys went through.
This is/has been going on everywhere - there hordes of these demons in everything, everywhere
Diana has a good brother. He would be a friend to Prince William and his children.
And to Harry. I hope Earl Spencer and Harry are good to each other.
The world was different then. Bullying was a part of school life, as was caning. Teachers were always in the right and backed by parents. We have now gone full circle and teachers are terrified of pupils and parents.
Possibly. But on the subject of abuse by those in position of authority over the vulnerable young or old is unacceptable and chargeable.
This trauma and abuse stays with the child for life it manifest in addiction
God bless Charles, Buzz.
This is what happened to Paris Hilton in her boarding school in America. Her parents had no idea mgt
God bless your soul 🙏 ❤️
A moving and horrifying book. I hope the authorities pick up on this and pursue the culprits who are still alive, irrespective of their age. I went to an all girls grammar school and there was a PE teacher who would be looking at jail time these days.
Brilliant that you have aired the elephant in the sitting room
So horrific prayers for all.
Dear Charles. I am crying for you... I am so glad you are telling "all". I wish you the best. God bless you.
This sounds very similar to the way Indigenous students were treated in Canada.
Well said
I feel some children who went to private school, some have been messed up , unfortunately they don't talk about it, definitely there is a darker side to some of schools.
So horrible and gross!! 😣😥Happy that he's found the courage to speak out.
Thank you for bringing this to light ! Being strong and helping us victims to stop childhood abuse and pedophiles !!
Congratulations to Charles for speaking out. It needs to be voiced. Also remember some PARENTS were doing this to their own children. Like mine!
I went to a girl’s grammar school & absolutely loved it. My friend & I were very bright but quite naughty in first year but parent’s evening put a stop to that, I have to say I had a really good time, better in 6th form when I could concentrate on subjects I really loved.
We had the cane in our junior school in the 1970s not a private school and we had nuns for teachers .😡
I'm so sorry. I have nightmares about nuns to this day.
For he's A jolly good fellow And so say all of us! Well Done Charles for sharing your very traumatic boarding school experiences.
Take care and God bless you.❤
Oh when they say everything is horrible nowadays! Think twice before saying that
I love this man. He is a TRUE gentleman. ❤
All of his ex wives and ex girlfriends might disagree
Thanks for letting us know what happened to you.Hope others speak up and let it be known what happened in there school.
Im so sorry you had to experience this kind of treatment. Its a hard thing to get thru having no one to really talk to, so sad. God bless you and your family!! Prayers, love, and hugs from Oklahoma!!!!
What a loverly man
So sorry about your abuse!!
What a very nice man…..
Dreadful dreadful. A very brave man!! I take my hat off to you Mr Charles Spencer Sir!!!!
Abolish boarding schools, children shouldn't be separated from their parents.
I pray that your family members are spared this abuse 🙏
This is so shocking! 😢
I dare say the Prince & Princess of Wales have already resolved to send Prince George to Eton as a day student. Another reason for their relocation to Windsor. If Prince William wasn’t aware of his Uncle’s story already I’ve no doubt the knowledge of it will certainly strengthen this resolve.
Good Morning Britain has the blood of journalists on their hands!
Watch Michael Palins,"Tomlinsons school days",it explains EVERYTHING
Jonathan Miller is Daniel Miller's dad. Jonathan Miller is a journalist and you all know him.
What is disturbing, among other things, is that this is how the current ruling class was raised. In utter devastation. This is contributes to why our world has become such a mess and so disconnected.
So brave of Charles Spencer 😢
Relatively recently ? The 1970’s???? Hello - the 70’s were forever ago. Glad he’s sharing his experiences, though.
he had to watch william and harry go to boarding school aged 8 and didnt tell diana his past
How do you know what he told his sister? Diana went to lengths to make sure the boys went to the school of her choosing and not the one Prince Charles had attended (which incidentally he had hated).
Not all boarding schools are like this!
@@LadySybil prince william also hated his boarding school to begin with, diana said he was homesick. william was 8 and harry 7 when they stopped living with their mother outside of holidays and were sent to boarding school. its so sad.
@@Chipoo88 they are still away from their families. charles spencer has said no child under 13 should be allowed to live away from their family
@@anniehowell6266 yes I agree that 12 or 13 should be the youngest but my point was to specify the type of school and treatment of the pupils
Parents beed to oversee and really listen to their vulnerable children. And a whole lot better. As well as other.
Well ofcourse this was thought to be everywhere in England among people in other countries.
Upper class girls schools of the 1900-1950s were known for providing an "expensive but inadequate education."
I can’t forget his horrible speech at the funeral of Princess Diana - what a pity he did not get custody
Shame on parents that send their children to boarding schools. If you can't be a 100% parent, then don't bother having children.
I was so sad to see his is divorcing for the third time. What happened?
I don’t understand why some people have children at all if they send them away so young. Poor little beggars.
bouffant Maddeley. Hair goals!!
I think the interviewer knows about all this too !
Equally shocking!
And it is also the case that if parents have children that they should not separate and get another boyfriend or girlfriend who is not the father or mother of the children to live in the same house until the children reach the age of 18 years. Too often it is when children become abused - it still happens even when everyone is at home because the man or woman who is not the father or mother of the children can act really nice but be totally depraved behind closed doors and to keep these children silenced!!
Long Live the Queen!
What a horrendous experience.
Who is Terry Miller?
Terry Miller brought London the 2012 Games.
That's the thing, yes it was grim, as ES says, but it was criminal too. Criminal.
This is so utterly appalling. My mind just reels. It was absolutely the right thing, when the female host said, ‘I’m so sorry this happened to you’.
Poor man
Those were harder times for children to speak up, private or mainstream school, we were raised to respect elders, teachers etc... as was our parents before us, to speak out was not an option, Fact!
I just can't get my head around it . . . Parents paid a huge aount of money in hope of a great education, which the kids might have received along with some physical and emotional abuse . . .
Something very Spartan in some senses.. just left to fend for yourself by the sound of it.. and paying large sums of money to be treated like that.Sounds awful
Well done. I can relate to your trauma.
So very sad.
So sad thank you speaking out, yet many people moaning about strat school just saying
There might have been some decent teachers there....did they not know? Where were they? Why was there not a question about that? He is a fine writer so I will read this.
I went too bourding school called shapwick from 11 too 16 ban them know
🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼❤️
abuse is still taking place
Daniel Miller was never married to Catherine Elizabeth Charlesworth.