The Amazing and Brutal Results of Zero Lies for 365 Days - Martha Beck
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 30 เม.ย. 2024
- Dr. Martha Beck has been called “the best-known life coach in America” by NPR and USA Today. She holds three Harvard degrees in social science and has published nine non-fiction books, one novel, and more than 200 magazine articles. Her recent book, The Way of Integrity: Finding the Path to Your True Self, was an instant New York Times Best Seller.
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Links and resources from this episode: tim.blog/2024/04/17/martha-beck/
Timestamps:
[00:00] Preview
[01:19] My contribution to teen atrociousness.
[01:47] Connecting with Boyd Varty.
[07:55] The path of not here.
[12:26] Finding joy in the body can save your life.
[17:18] The pregnant pause that ended Martha's obsession with intellect.
[23:25] Sensitivity and suffering.
[27:03] The year of living lie-lessly.
[32:59] An illuminating change of perspective.
[43:16] The path to taking a black belt integrity cleanse.
[47:06] Owning your right to say "No."
[51:24] Alternatives to "No" that remain honest.
[55:05] The language of candor.
[57:42] Ending relationships that have run their course.
[58:59] The Asian influence.
[01:03:08] Sweet or savory?
[01:04:19] Are you comfortable?
[01:06:13] Want vs. yearning and jumping the track.
[01:20:42] Rhino ruminations.
[01:22:06] The Tao Te Ching, Stephen Mitchell, and Byron Katie.
[01:34:20] America's Goethe?
[01:37:29] Weighing kryptonite against superpowers.
[01:46:04] Exploring the opposite of anxiety.
[01:55:03] Dick Schwartz and Internal Family Systems.
[02:04:47] Compassion even for the self's unwanted pieces.
[02:07:24] Favorite animal.
[02:12:12] Equine therapy.
[02:18:47] Selling the ranch.
[02:22:06] The monkey whisperer.
[02:24:10] Parting thoughts.
Tim Ferriss is one of Fast Company’s “Most Innovative Business People” and an early-stage tech investor/advisor in Uber, Facebook, Twitter, Shopify, Duolingo, Alibaba, and 50+ other companies. He is also the author of five #1 New York Times and Wall Street Journal bestsellers: The 4-Hour Workweek, The 4-Hour Body, The 4-Hour Chef, Tools of Titans and Tribe of Mentors. The Observer and other media have named him “the Oprah of audio” due to the influence of his podcast, The Tim Ferriss Show, which has exceeded 900 million downloads and been selected for “Best of Apple Podcasts” three years running.
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I'm at a loss for words. More conversations with Martha, please. This is the most authentic conversation I have heard on your podcast. When she says the "light" has never left her, I believe it because I can feel it, she radiates it. Thank you for the opportunity to be a fly on the wall in such an important conversation!
💯 💯💯
I told my friend back in 2012 that I wouldn't be going to her party because I didn't want to (I should perhaps have been more honest and said it was due to feeling social anxiety at the time). She sent me a really nasty email, ending: and don't bother coming to my funeral because you won't be welcome.
We had been friends for 30 years from age 16. I didn't dignify the email with a reply. In fact I have no regrets. I miss our friendship for what i had thought it was, but i accept it's better not to have it as it REALLY was.
I'm not sure what my point is, I just wanted to share this.
She exudes such young, vibrant energy. Love this lady. Her story about her surgery made me super emotional.
I personally have made the changes to my language and found my truth which changed my life and victim mentality
Please be more precise. Thank you very much ❤
„My body correctly figured out that I was the biggest threat to my own health.“ - wow, this really hit me like a brick.
Martha Beck's insights on living with integrity are truly eye-opening. For entrepreneurs, applying her "year of living lie-lessly" concept can be transformative, especially when making tough business decisions. It's about aligning actions with core values, which not only fosters trust with clients and partners but also improves personal well-being.
Thank you both very much Martha Beck and Tim Ferriss. Beautiful conversation.
The opposite of anxiety isn't calm, it's creativity. When you go into control mode, you're anxious. When you open yourself up to all possibilities, you're creative.
Such a great lesson, thank you Tim + Dr. Martha Beck
My favorite podcast so far this year!
Omg same! I am through the roof for having found this.
Tim Ferris’s work has inspired me over the last decade to become an independent adult who had to work against a lot of family dysfunction. The fear setting Ted Talk is the one that’s ingrained in my head. I am so fortunate I came across this conversation of his with Martha Beck. It got me out of a 2 week long rumination of doubt and fear and this is all I needed!
Every athlete knows that we "play up" when we meet our match. Our excellence meets their excellence and a dance of intellectual/emotional joy ensues.
Martha and Tim: This was a 1+1=11 synchronistic interaction where all involved were elevated, and that includes us listeners and viewers fortunate enough to tune in - literally and figuratively. You asked, "When was the last time we felt joy in our body? Well, I felt joy in my mind AND body in this delightful, rising-tide conversation. Kudos to you for this mind/soul dance that was Exhibit A of why it's a blessing to be alive and to learn from two smart, talented, incredibly compatible individuals who were mutually lit up.
✨Only 28 minutes in and I’m captivated… here’s to those moments in life when the right message comes at the right time in multiples! ✨
Finished and just-WOW. Every yes! 💫
YES to tracking joy lions.
YES to practical experiments.
YES to compassion bonfires with internal nemeses.
YES to Martha’s yarfy gratitude.
And hell YES to liminal mischief!
Going to see my surgeon now about a left brain hemispherectomy. 😂
🙏🏻🔥🐒
🙏🏻🔥🐒
🙏🏻🔥🐒
18 minutes for me ❤
A delightful conversation. I listened to the podcast driving a few hundred miles. I was so moved I then pulled up this version, and watched the whole thing. I'd never heard of Martha until two days ago, and now she's one of my all-time favorite people to share virtual company with. Tim, you're an excellent interviewer, you bring out the best in people. Now I've got to go order Martha's book.
From Dante and Goethe to leaf blowers. This convo had it all, well done and thank you🙏
Wow what an amazing conversation. It lit up my brain. Hope there are more- such a great synergy btwn Tim & Martha. It inspires me to look for relationships who are this synergistic to me in my own life- it seems next level. Thank you for generously sharing this convo.
Finally: Martha Beck!!! The wisest human I've met. So glad she's getting the platform she deserves. Every one of her books have saved my life.
Martha Beck is an inspiration, Her book “leaving the saints” was extremely helpful as I was leaving Mormonism and didn’t have the option to escape the city I was converted in. It helped in dealing with the dynamics of being public with my leaving as well. Looking forward to this one.
Tim, your podcast has been such an inspiration as well, since I started watching years ago, it has given me the courage to leave my 9-5 and start writing. It has also been filled with tools and education that have helped me in processing my own childhood trauma. Life saving work. Thank you both.
This is an outstanding conversation 😁
What a fun conversation for a Sunday morning... "Tracking joy in the body" i love that.
She is so inspiring!
She is delightful. I love how animated and excited she is with LIFE! More Martha Beck, please!
The truth will set you free 🙏
Two of my favorite trackers. Loved this conversation. I learned so much. Thank you. My right brain is happy.
Thank you Tim! I’ve been waiting for this meeting and it was beyond my expectations! 🙏🏻
At ~ 1:51:20 Martha Beck speaks about switching from attempts at control to curiosity (in a fear context). This reminds me of Chris Voss who teaches to ask/say, "You must have a good reason for asking that?". Instead of seeking control Chris is seeking more information. Stephen Covey might say he seeks first to understand.
I will remember to be curious (in times of fear, in negotiations, in life, etc....).
I love Martha she’s a gem.
I’m only 40:43 in so far (just past where you told about your son also seeing the light), and this is absolutely enlightening. Martha, you radiate joy and I’ve felt joy while watching this.
By nature I’m often skeptical of things like that, but I keep an open mind towards it, and your story opened my mind and heart even further.
Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom, and for taking the journey you have taken to bring that wisdom and joy to us.
These splendid conversations is why I get excited to tune in, thanks Tim and Martha!
I love her energy.
Conversation, connection and explorations between 2 of my favorite people 🙏🏻 This was a treat for the heart 💝 so expanding!!! Thank you both for sharing your genius, insights and care! Thanks you for all you go through being you, and then chosing to share the gems 💎 along the way as you track your path. Wow! 🙏🏻 Please, do have Martha on again Tim! This connection and exploration was fire 🔥
There’s a level beyond telling the truth, called compassion. Beautiful ❤
Loved this interview so much! Immediately afterward, I started listening to the audiobook, The Way of Integrity. It doesn't disappoint and I LOVE Dr. Martha Beck's narration.
Tim, your neurodivergence is giftedness. Superdotação.
Fascinating very interesting conversation! Very wise lady!
I'm so thankful for hearing this conversation. Martha is lovely. ❤
God this is one of the best conversations I’ve heard. I love her
Just cried my eyes out watching a podcast episode. That was unexpected... how's everybody else's day going?
Amazing energy , thank you for this conversation , it was brilliant, hope marta will come back for more ❤🙏🏾
Best thing I've heard all year 🔥... Well done, Tim ✨️
Martha, the best. Thank you for all those gems !!!
know what you know
feel what you feel
claim your right to joy
Now I want to listen to baboon alarm calls and it’s close to bedtime here. Loved this podcast! Joy to the max.
Tim, καταπληκτικός!!!! I don't know how you guys did this, but this podcast was full of joy! ❤❤
Thank you, for this beautiful conversation.
Just love listening to Martha Beck. Have her book "Way to Integrity"...even have her on my vision-action board, as a reminder to integrate her concept of Integrity, in my life and relationships.
This is absolutely fascinating. Loved this from beginning to end.
Dammmmn, that was a fascinating conversation! Great to see two minds with a lot of horsepower bounce back from each other!
Wow this was really profound, insightful, and lovely ❤ Thank you both for sharing 🙏
This is my fav podcast of the year. Loved Martha and I only wish I would have known about her earlier!
My favourite of your interviews yet, and I’ve loved so many of them! What a phenomenal, alive, inspiring human being Martha is! I’m definitely going to listen again and make notes! Oh and I’ve just ordered A Lion Trackers Guide to Life! Can’t wait to read it! I’m South African so particularly keen to read the work of a fascinating fellow countryman! (I’ll be watching your interview with Boyd next, downloaded and ready for my drive tomorrow!)
Thank you for a wonderful, honest, authentic and thoroughly interesting show, I’ve learnt so much by listening!
Great interview and conversation.
Awesome conversation.
Such a great interview, & such a great interviewer. Wow, for his questions!
One way to tell the truth more delicately in a way that FBI hostage negotiators do, is say everything after the 'but' to the person up front. For example, Tim mentioned he didn't want to go to a mask party on a Thursday BUT he didn't want to upset the person, she would probably feel let down, it would be really important to her and valuable to her and yada yada. Say all of that first, and then say you don't want to go. So something like "I know this is probably going to upset you because I know this party is really important to you but I just don't want to go. I'm sorry."
People have an innate natural tendency to want to disagree or disprove what you just said about them. So you can use that to your advantage.
For further study, Chris Voss provides a lot of insight here.
And dont even use “but”, and instead, use “and”.
This was just awesomeness stacked on top of awesomeness! Thank you for all that you do Tim, and thanks to Martha for doing the show. Lots of profound things have been said during this show. Aloha😘😄
Such a wonderful conversation
Love this conversation, thanks to both of you ~🌟
This is so fun and insightful it’s just delight
My favourite episode so far!
Thank you so much 😊
More please and thank you. - a Fan from South Africa
Thank you 🙏
I have had such a connection with you Tim, 4 hr body. Changed my life, you still keep my energy supper engaged. I totally feel that you both may be “my tribe”. Getting book..Trickster? I have had a few experiences that may fit into Right Side…will be many show notes..I read Lion Tracker…because of your recommendation again a long time ago. Life lifting as well…will read again. Grateful to the max
Two of my favorite people!!!
I am throughly enjoying this podcast. "Finding my joy" appears to me the essence of a truthful (true to yourself) life. I am considering embarking on a MA in Classics based on The Great Books. My hesitation (fear) concerns my lack of a rigorous writing experience. I feel that I will not be able to "do the work" of writing the required essays in an A level form. I have A BS from Grand Canyon U. and several AA degrees in Xray & Ultrasound. I am a retired Army officer and my JOY has always been reading, almost anything and everything. My focus has always been The Great Books. Mortimer Adler is my intellectual muse. I am fascinated by his written output and his verbal ability to explain things to a layperson. My "ASK" is what do you recommend to free my block?
I don’t know if Tim will answer you, but I have the feeling that he could recommend “the war of art” by Stephen Pressfield. He’s got a podcast with him by the way and credit it like a great anti procrastination (and more) book. Good luck!
Living with integrity is a very Japanese principle stemming from Buddhism. Canada is also known for their honesty. Americans would change their country by embracing truthfulness and shunning leaders who lie and judges who do not hold them accountable.
Where are we getting the time to watch these videos? We are making the time to heal. It's magnetic. It is definitely the magic of technology.
Being unashamed to just be... Providing it is honest, good, and kind (of course!). Fun vibes!
Ps. Have had a 1minute charcoal up framed for a while, was thinking to move onto something else. It’s no “work of art”, but a good reminder that art school ain’t for wimps.
Really enjoyed. Thank you!! 💫
Muchas gracias 🌄😃💕 muchas muchas gracias
Que grata sorpresa Tim soy seguidor y fan tuyo, cuando dicen que las casulidades no existen cada día estoy más covencido. Hace unos pocos meses llegó una recomendación del libro de Martha Beck por el que se hizo tan concida "Encuentra tu estrela polar". Me quedé abrumado por lo bien extructurado y la gran información que aporta para la consecución de nuestro proposito en la vida. Soy colaborador hace tiempo de una publicación tipo peridodico comarcal aquí en Alicante (España) y este mes hace 10 días envié el articulo del mes que se titula "Conecta con tu esencia" haciendo una referencia a dicha autora, expongo mi opinión que comparto con esta gran mujer. La publicación salió a la calle en formato impreso el jueves 18 y ayer me vi la entrevista en tu mail al que estoy suscrico "5 Balas" y no daba credito a lo que veian mis ojos. Muchas gracias por se una inspiración para todos.
Postada: me encantó el programa de Jiu-Jitsu y lo rápido que parendes, ya que soy Maestro de Judo y sé lo dificil que es hacerlo tan bien en tan poco tiempo. Eso confirma que un buen maestro lo es gracias a un buen alumno.
Leaf blowers drive me nuts too 🤬
Key takeaways:
- “Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic” (Arthur C. Clarke), what seems like “uneducated” indigenous magic might be a technology we don’t understand
- Do things that give you (embodied) joy and energy, follow those tracks
-Speak no lies, don’t say yes to things you don’t want to do and instead reframe to things you do want
-Everything we yearn for is a feeling state
Gold!
I find her riveting. Frustrated that just when she was on to something that could have been elaborated, a question which didn't seem to flow brought it off track. Hoping for a sequel.
Whats the time stamp on that? Maybe he sees this, and it can be revisited by him the next time she’s on.
Shame, Tim also wants to find his 'species' woman! He will I'm certain of it. Wow !! What an episode ! There is soooo much here. One incredible concept after the other. I absolutely loved this.
Whoever made that opening for the podcast should come back to 2024
Can I get the cite for the study on people using empowered vs. victim language?
Everything compounds. a very little lies lead to a bigger lie and a bigger one, untill you did what you once thought of as impossible and you don't recognize yourself.
Context matters.
Dog's feet scent? I recently saw a YT video where they claimed the kicking motion dogs make on the ground after pooping is to spread their pheromones from their feet onto the ground. So if you’re smelling something, that’s what it is. Pheromones.
Wow what she was speaking on at 01:46:04 was fascinating.
What if I don’t wear sox?
I love that opener! Ceasar will not come!
With Byron K. I often end up being uncertain of reality. If that’s the point, then are we in the territory of relativism?
top 5 easy
Communicating only the truth will change your life. Everyone should read Lying by Sam Harris. (it's shorter than this podcast)
58 pages
Martha looks younger and younger btw.
I've heard that all the right / left brain, creative versus mathematical or analytical theory was debunked and both sides of the brain come into play for both functions. Can you comment on this?
How does that stand up with Jill Bolte Taylors experience, and what Martha said Jill discussed with her? Doesnt seem to hold water.
Joy in the body sounds like hedonism
Timely! Working with someone in debt AGAIN who won't tell her parents again for shame and fear. She's got gut problems and doesn't know who to trust. I wonder why? I get it. Been there won't do that again. Telling the truth is much better way to go.
But...how about a show that isn't just about the tiny bit of leverage we have in an inhumane economic system? You're flogging your investment strategies and finiancial success, so you must see what a slot machine this economic system is today. Right?
Sometime I'd love to see Martha Beck and you Tim talk about living in a big capitalist system that doesn't really care about anything but us spending money. We've got $13 trillion in credit card debt in this country. And if the banks go under from poor money management, we bail them out. See Obama 2008 and every crash the banks have created since Clinton let them change the conservative Great Depression banking rules. We lock working people into that same bank's credit card debt and never let them out. Bankruptcy sin't even an option. So people hang on the aspirational wheel of fortune and bodies pay the consequences while the 10% Rich in the stock market wins no matter what.
The only thing zero lies brought to my life was complete destruction. There is no trace of good left. That’s my results ~3 years
Sorry that these consequences have been so dire. Others have brought back similar reports to Martha Beck and she explained speaking truth while maintaining kindness. Her suggestion: follow Golden Rule + Elur Nedlog (it says golden rule backward). This means to speak in a way you want to be spoken to, AND that you equally deserve others to speak truth to you with respect. It makes sense that a bedrock of truth and respect create relationships of trust, day by day. I hope that your chapter of destruction has ended and your building phase is well underway
How about authenticity? Any abundance of that? So does that mean that your previous life before no lies, was just that? A bunch of lies? Curious…
@@6980869 before ~15% lies. Life was fine.
~3 years of zero lies, all life gone.
My results. Anecdotal.
how dare... martha in her heart, not to abort for herself and her sanity and for her baby boy...BUT counsel other women to do it!! where is the joy in that absurdity.
I think it should be a requirement for all your zoom guests to zoom in from in front of their bookshelves. 😏
This came off more like a meeting of their Mutual Admiration Society than anything else. The total cut-off for me was the introduction of Byron Katie into the conversation.
FYI all 7 of her siblings say that none of the facts about her childhood are accurate in her book. And apparently half of them have left the church, so there’s no point for them to defend it. I’d take what she says with a grain of salt.
I understand what you are saying, "with a grain of salt" is accurate for everybody. My siblings all remember our family very differently. The thing is, whether true or not, to me, it is true to them, and their reactions reflect that.
There is so much shame on Tim's face in this conversation. I'm interested in what does it take to heal shame like that? I've got it. I think Martha has it too, despite all the laughter and courage. Byron Katie is mostly free of it, though I found it interesting that she interrupted me to defend herself in one of my few interactions with her and I'm not sure what that was about. In the face of so many suffering, manipulating, blaming and shaming egos in scarcity and fear, it seems that to let other people be real in any way involves some sense of shame. When I see it off Tim's face and Martha no longer seeks validation I'll know they have sorted it out. I think Tim is on the right track here, with guests and topics, but either you have shame, depression, fear and heaviness in your body or you don't. I think that's the real goal - to let that stuff go. I haven't, so I'm curious who, other than Katie, has done it.
No lies? That's 🧢
Three Harvard degrees in "Social Science".
Hahahahaha!
Riveting
She lying that she didn't lie
Dog feet all the way.
Are we supposed to take this seriously? I dont even understand how is Tim is sitting there listening to this delusion