This is like the Florida Man meme where he rapes the rapist, except it’s a child predator’s self insert killing a child predator’s child predator father in a book written by a child predator.
Fucking hell, that’s on par with “Obsidian Blackbird McNight” Hats off to you if you get the ref, if not, it’s “Mighty Boosh” where the character, Vince Noir, pretends to be goth to impress two goth girls and instead accidentally releases the most evil demon known to the MBEU (Mighty Boosh Extended Universe) who takes the form of a little, unassuming old lady, and he defeats her with hairspray and “nana nana go away, come again another day”
i love rewatching this because my brain immediately blocks out the memory of the plot so it's always like watching for the first time and i get to crylaugh all over again
sameee lmao this is my favorite video to revisit just because the plot is so wild i can never remember exactly what happens. its like restating a save file in Pokemon
I rewatch this at least once a week, either to do my makeup, or to clean the house. Like the headache I get from the story kinda blocks out the headache I get from inhaling dust and cleaning supplies fumes.
@@couragekarnga8735 im a 11 y/o that looks at nsfw of bfdi and swears every three seconds at school, and im pretty sure im a better human being than greg
@@themyofmy One part of me thinks that i gotta report this comment for what will happen if it stays up, but another part of me thinks that it would be unfair to rob you of the learning experience it will provide, that will make you understand why exactly you can't just go around saying those things on the internet.
Fun fact: even in the Czech Republic, one of the most alcoholic countries in the world, where children are regularly offered to sip the foam off their parents' beer, nobody would ever mock an 11 year old for refusing to drink alcohol.
As a fellow Czech, I could see giving an 11yo who really wants to be one of the grown ups a taste of something stronger, mostly to laugh when they spit it out, because alcohol tastes fucking gross unless you've already burned out all your tastebuds.
Yeah in the U.K. where children can technically drink in their own home from age 5 no one would mock an 11 year old for not wanting to drink whisky maybe at a push joke about them not wanting to try the foam or joke about a 14 not wanting VK or disgustingly cheap cider but not mock.
Hahaha, I didn't even realize it was misread even long after she corrected hereself. I thought she personally tried to make it sound less incestual. lol
In my opinion, the *worst* thing about this book, is that ‘Phillip’ is based off an actual person with the same name, someone who Greg got into a fight with when he was in 2nd grade (according to Greg himself), the part that makes it even worse? Greg claimed Phillip died two years after the fight, when he was *9*. So the best-case scenario is another lie to add on, and at worst, mocking of an actual dead child’s death.
Meanwhile he has the audacity to come after Strange for saying the friend in stones to Abigail was annoying. Because apparently that friend “died.” He’s a hypocrite
I feel like I'm the only one on here who doesn't know who this guy is (I just love videos reviewing bad literature), but it sure seems like his psychiatrist needs to read this book.
My god, the book I wrote when I was 7 about a minecraft cat having to save his owners after the mountain they lived on having an avalanche so their was a huge cliff and having to cross half the world to find the one person who can talk to cats was better than this.
For everyone saying, "If these can get published ..." just remember: these are all self-published. There was no agent, editor, publishing house, book tours, advances. Literally no one in their right mind would publish these, especially as they are. That brings me comfort
Publishing gets this thick, mucussy veneer of purity because it's about books and books are by spiritually gifted creators for smart people, but it really isn't that comforting - half of those aspects are just pleasantly acceptable variants of advertising and you can still buy fancy Published books by all kinds of shitty people that will make some explicitly racist white dudes a lot of money on the other hand if you self publish you basically have to settle for making jeff bezos more money, but you've got bills to pay
I know Onion Boy never would agree to it, but I would love to see this book given to a proper editor ... just to see how long it takes for the edits to devolve into "WHAT?!" over and over.
@@Caldella I believe one of his fans, it could’ve been a patron but I can’t be sure, offered to edit it. I remember seeing a video someone made where Greg flipped out on this fan for offering to edit his book and said his writing was “perfect the way it was.” They didn’t even ask him to pay, either.
This book is an amalgamation of every bad Tumblr post, the MAP ones included Edit: except for bad fan posts. I would be impressed if someone managed to fit Miku binder Thomas Jefferson into a book and have it make sense
Onion boy did a lot of damage to my mental health as a teen, but I finally got the courage to watch your vids about him, and wow- it has been one hell of a cathartic experience. What a pathetic dude.
I'm in the same boat. I think his fake persona is quite alluring to young teenage girls, the unapologetic, raunchy humoured, honest guy that we all thought was so cool. Looking back, yikes on bikes, at 20 I can't believe I ever watched his shit. Hes just a disgusting creep.
have you seen the video he put out recently where he talks about having to stop for a while because the aliens are after him. or something like that. I don't remember the wording but my point is he seems to enjoy playing into it.
@@jankcitycustoms he's playing the "look I'm totally crazy" card to avoid accountability. But it won't fly, expecially when he also stated on twitter than, paraphrasing, only an idiot would believe he's gone crazy
I have only just started the video so now I’m waiting with baited breath for when this becomes relevant. EDIT: wow, you were in fact absolutely not wrong
I actually think he legit forgot the character was supposed to be eleven. Then suddenly remembered but is such a narcissist he figured "i can make this make sense!"
I love how this was the book where Greg was openly straight up like "This is essentially about me and my life" and then it ended up being about ALIENS and he becomes a LITERAL GOD
@@curryinahurry1746 Does that mean that when he says you shouldn't pray for your relatives who have cancer, it's because Greg himself gave them cancer?
I feel like there are nuggets of genuinely interesting things in this book but they were executed. Not executed poorly - simply executed. Killed on the spot.
@@michaelkeller5555 she didn’t either LMAO Besides, the man has admitted he’s kissed his cousin, there’s nothing he wouldn’t do to his family if he could control them like he does his partner and kids. I really fear for his kids’ safety.
the original plot of "small boy from hick town discovers a mystery with creepy aliens and murder" could have been cool if greg had the ability to form a coherent sentence.
This went from: - I'm a lonely kid who spends all his time in the woods - I'm being attacked by aliens every night - I'm a furry Chad who is going to kill god
Ah yes, your tics are not uncontrolled impulses; they are truly just your inner intelligence, which goes beyond what any human body can handle. We cannot expect a human body to keep all that knowledge within itself, can we?
It may seem like an odd thing to get hung up on, given the insanity that is the rest of this book, but I can't get over the fact that all of onion's books have the same, nearly identical "I must now save the day" scene. Chaos and violence breaks out when the main character is out in public, separated from his love interest, and he runs away. He then immediately turns back around, runs back into the chaos, and effortlessly defeats the villain. He sustains an injury that is initially perceived as serious, but it never requires treatment or any recovery time. This is always the plot point at which other characters start to perceive the protagonist as a genuinely heroic figure. It's nowhere near the worst, or most illogical, thing in onion's books, but it's so weirdly specific. It's like he's been reliving the same heroic power fantasy over and over in his head so obsessively, for so long, that he can't imagine any other way for a heroic action sequence to unfold. And the whole "run away - run back - effortlessly win - gets hurt - injury is nbd - everyone cheers" is so laughably immature and unbelievable that I'm pretty sure he came up with that specific power fantasy when he was, like, nine. It's so baffling. It's so bizarre. How is he not embarrassed. He published this. On purpose. What.
Christ, this “book” is like the literary equivalent of two kids playing with action figures: I go over here and I TAKE THE POWER! Ok, but then I come in and I have a gun and I shoot the bad guys!!! And then I also come in, but I use my mind to make a BOMB and I melt the bad guys faces off! And then there’s a girl there and she’s my girlfriend now! No, now she’s MY girlfriend because I make YOU cry! And on and on and on...
It would have been a realy nice plot twist, if all the magic stuff were hallucinations caused by a brain tumor. But no he had to become a randomly op being and killing god in the end 😂
I like to listen to these book review videos as I fall asleep. It’s gotten to a point where my cat has started to recognize that the sound of Teya crying out in Onionman induced agony means that it’s bedtime.
I fell asleep to Teya's reviews the last two nights. I usually listen to a podcast. The cats were so confused and actually came to check up on me because "mother, it is late and you have not started the resting sounds."
Ah, it's like having both of those automatically make you attractive no matter what. Not sure what that sentence was, but then again, he says the weirdest sh*t lol.
Stones to abbigale = bright blond wig with extra pale foundation This is why i hate you = pretty much just his goth persona geddup but with more Glasgow smile makeup This book = dirty blonde hair, but also doing that thing where you go on your knees and put shoes on your knees to make you look shorter
Me *creates some magic system* alright i explain the rules of it to myself, outlined the differences that could happen, and why this can happen and enhance magic* Onision "magic happens cause i am god!" Well I feel better now
@@vciforgot5156oh... Since you know it all. I'd love to enlighten you on definitions, vocabulary and comedy. di·gress /dīˈɡres/ verb leave the main subject temporarily in speech or writing. You must of missed the joke and a chromosome.
Greg: this book is based on my life the book: *literally kills god as an emo 8'10 eleven year old after geting abducted by aliens while astro projecting into space*
As a boy, I can confirm it was typical for my friends to hit on my sister when they came over when we were kids, which was doubly weird because I don't have a sister.
Leviathan i think you’re forgetting “And Maybe Someone Should Check In On Him Every So Often Just So They Know He’s Not Ordering Any Magnum P.I’s Or Whatever Guns Exist I Don’t Give Two Shits About Guns Really Lol”
So I think the ONLY thing that's true out of this whole book, is the part where he pees himself, and dumps the chocolate milk on himself to hide the fact that he peed himself.
greg wrote this book remembering that time he peed himself and was like "how can i not be embarrassed by this story anymore? I KNOW i'll make it so that i fuck someone 4 years older than me and then fight god (and win)!"
Onision: This book is basically about me, okay? It's flat out just me. The book: "I've learned to levitate on command, I've learned to cook food with my thoughts."
@@inthegrass11 Its like he read Matilda, thought that he and the protagonist had so much in common because they both such galaxy brains that are too hip for the room, wrote self insert fanfiction about it, and then got bored and just put his God complex in there for fun.
This is like a perfect example of a Mary Sue Vs a power fantasy Like this lands as Mary Sue rather then harmless(ish) power fantasy because of the absolute lack of self awareness like the other commenter said
I'm sure a criminal psychologist would feel sorry for him after a while because it's clear that he's too chickenshit to have done any of the edgy shit he talks about. The truth is far more pathetic. The truth is that he's fetishizing this shit and wants to LARP as an edgy boi.
Remember that episode of Bojack Horseman where Bojack, Todd, and Sarah Lynn all get together and do drugs and try to write a book? I feel like the same thought process went into Reaper’s Creek
Hold up- as a disabled woman I would like to suggest he keep the idea that he can't ask about us or approach us. None of us want to interact with him 😭
i feel like i need to hire a moving company to help me unpack everything wrong with the part where greg says he eliminates gender inequality by editing human dna. like i know the guy hates women but holy shit.
@@caroliner.7628 In short, it's a test to determine if a robot is sentient/sapient and has human emotions. It's more of a thought experiment, but it's really cool! I definitely recommend looking into the history of the test, and Turing himself, though massive tw for homophobia because society did not treat gay men well.
"...while his hair turns blonde, and grows longer..." Wait. So not only is he Franklin Richards/Dr. Manhattan in this story, he's going Super Saiyan now, too? Onision was that kid we all grew up with, who deliberately wouldn't play superheroes with the rest of us, unless we let him have *all* the super powers.
He was the kid that made up reasons why he could kick out of 4 finishers and made you want to hit him foreal whenever people played wrestling. "I got hit by the sweet chin music but I lifted my head up a bit so it didn't get hit on the jaw all the way." "I put my legs down at the last second of the pedigree."
It reminds me of when I used to play Minecraft superpower roleplays when I was like 10 and I'd always be like "I have all powers" and during every fight I'd just dodge everything and piss off everyone else
"it's okay to kill child predators!"
-a child predator in a book written by a child predator
Maybe Greggy's suicidal lmao
It takes one to write one
Get Chris Hansen on the phone.
Well yeah, gotta get rid of the competition
This is like the Florida Man meme where he rapes the rapist, except it’s a child predator’s self insert killing a child predator’s child predator father in a book written by a child predator.
this book reads like greg had seen the “shaggy using .5% of his power” memes and decided he wanted to be like that
anti orbs this book reads like a bad shaggy/invader zim fanfic
CT R/yes
Greg can never ever begin to compare to Shaggy
Don't insult Shaggy.
I am 100% certain that tara gilesbie is greg's ghost writer
"My name is Gregory Darkness Dementia Raven Way"
Jesus, put a warning or something next time, I choked on my water lmao
Fucking hell, that’s on par with “Obsidian Blackbird McNight”
Hats off to you if you get the ref, if not, it’s “Mighty Boosh” where the character, Vince Noir, pretends to be goth to impress two goth girls and instead accidentally releases the most evil demon known to the MBEU (Mighty Boosh Extended Universe) who takes the form of a little, unassuming old lady, and he defeats her with hairspray and “nana nana go away, come again another day”
Cool.
My name is Sir Edges-A-Lot.
Nice to meed my fellow edgy.
i love rewatching this because my brain immediately blocks out the memory of the plot so it's always like watching for the first time and i get to crylaugh all over again
sameee lmao this is my favorite video to revisit just because the plot is so wild i can never remember exactly what happens. its like restating a save file in Pokemon
I rewatch this at least once a week, either to do my makeup, or to clean the house. Like the headache I get from the story kinda blocks out the headache I get from inhaling dust and cleaning supplies fumes.
I just started this after watching the last and have already forgot the plot of the 2nd.
SAME
We are all the same person
He heard a non-audible noise.
HE HEARD A *NON AUDIBLE* NOISE
OH IM SURE
GREGORY THE GOD ALSO:
SAW THE UNSEEABLE COLORS
TASTED THE NO TASTE FOOD
WROTE THE WORST BOOK EVER
FELT THE UNFEEABLE WIND
@Leviathanoof that's a good burn
oh I was kinda imagining it like angel radio from supernatural where our senses are too dull to hear it
How the hell do you hear a non audible sound? It's non audible for a reason!
He’s too Chad for conventional physics
“this book went from ‘this is bad’ to ‘i’m having a stroke’ immediately”
imMEDIATELY
this comment blew up wow i’m so proud tia notice me
Onion: "This is me, as I am, unfiltered, raw."
Book Greg: 11.
Yeah that checks out surprisingly well.
Hey, man, I don't know any eleven-year-olds who think like this.
@@couragekarnga8735 im a 11 y/o that looks at nsfw of bfdi and swears every three seconds at school, and im pretty sure im a better human being than greg
@@couragekarnga8735 Well some must. We know Greg can only be sexually attracted to people who don't challenge his world view in any way.
@@themyofmy One part of me thinks that i gotta report this comment for what will happen if it stays up, but another part of me thinks that it would be unfair to rob you of the learning experience it will provide, that will make you understand why exactly you can't just go around saying those things on the internet.
@@couragekarnga8735 not to defend grog but when I was eleven I had maybe worse ideas
Fun fact: even in the Czech Republic, one of the most alcoholic countries in the world, where children are regularly offered to sip the foam off their parents' beer, nobody would ever mock an 11 year old for refusing to drink alcohol.
As a fellow Czech, I could see giving an 11yo who really wants to be one of the grown ups a taste of something stronger, mostly to laugh when they spit it out, because alcohol tastes fucking gross unless you've already burned out all your tastebuds.
I used to date a girl whose mother mocked her for not drinking when she was 18, but that's older than 11.
Yeah in the U.K. where children can technically drink in their own home from age 5 no one would mock an 11 year old for not wanting to drink whisky maybe at a push joke about them not wanting to try the foam or joke about a 14 not wanting VK or disgustingly cheap cider but not mock.
Based Czechs.
I know you're making a based point but it's absolutely hilarious to me that your argument is basically "Even Czechia isn't that fucked up."
"She's unconscious, because who isn't in this book"
Iconic.
Unconscious is how Greg prefers his women.
@@Xehanort10 Greg's type is unconscious children
@@Xehanort10 unconscious, and at least 3 years younger than the age of consent in the state she lives in
@nue also the children are also almost as drugged out of their minds as Greg as he wrote this "book"
“inappropriate to an illegal extent” are the words of a groomer. and someone that pushes boundaries
Sounds like thats what his lawyer told him to get good boy sorry points from the judge
And we know at this point that he's both, so...
@@cottontail5514 I think we all know his lawyers told him to fake going mental to try to force an insanity defense
Por que no les dos?
I love your name.
The fact that when you misread "he would hit on my sister" and I didn't even flinch because it was from Onision is pretty telling.
Oh my god i didnt question it either i just-
Right!?!
Time stamp?
Hahaha, I didn't even realize it was misread even long after she corrected hereself. I thought she personally tried to make it sound less incestual. lol
I know right?!
In my opinion, the *worst* thing about this book, is that ‘Phillip’ is based off an actual person with the same name, someone who Greg got into a fight with when he was in 2nd grade (according to Greg himself), the part that makes it even worse? Greg claimed Phillip died two years after the fight, when he was *9*. So the best-case scenario is another lie to add on, and at worst, mocking of an actual dead child’s death.
In my opinion, the worst part
The detail he had during the scene between an 11 and 14 year old means he typed it with one hand
Meanwhile he has the audacity to come after Strange for saying the friend in stones to Abigail was annoying. Because apparently that friend “died.”
He’s a hypocrite
Onionson imagines himself as an 8 foot tall 11 year old with the powers of a god. Sounds about right.
Me debating whether or not to like this, cuz it's at 420
Dude reminds me of Dennis Reynolds
I feel like I'm the only one on here who doesn't know who this guy is (I just love videos reviewing bad literature), but it sure seems like his psychiatrist needs to read this book.
Huh... so the Emperor of Mankind from Warhammer 40k?
Jotaro Kujo?
greg: "this book is based off my life and who i was"
also greg: "...and this is the part when my chadsona and i fly off to kill god"
All male Mary-Sues should just be called Greg James Daniels
Basically he just imbelished every part of his life to where he looks like the good person
I read this comment close to the beginning of the video and thought it was a joke... 0_0
@@sangopearl9965 on it I'm already opening a google doc. Then I'll post a video of me reading it with my mouth too close to the mic
You know when i first read this comment i thought this was just an exaggeration for a joke
Then i finished the video
Wtf
"oh god he's noticed a female" - the entire onision saga
literally read this right as Aeon said it lmao
@@kentremendous5112 holy cow me too
this is off topic but I clicked on ur channel and holy crap ur art is so cute and good???
My god, the book I wrote when I was 7 about a minecraft cat having to save his owners after the mountain they lived on having an avalanche so their was a huge cliff and having to cross half the world to find the one person who can talk to cats was better than this.
That still sounds like a great book to read high
I want to read that book
I’d read that.
D'aww
Oh, it sounds cute and not mind scarring.
He called his nana dumb for believing in god but he literally met, outsmarted and became god
So would that now mean that Greg’s nana is stupid for believing in him?
@@bicuriousdirtbikeboi2594 thats true
@@bicuriousdirtbikeboi2594 I mean if you believe Greg is god then you need psychiatric help
@@theartistformallyknownas2677 if you believe that comkent was saying that greg is god irl, then you need reading comprehension lessons
@@bicuriousdirtbikeboi2594 obviously, who believe in gods ? they are all liars anyway.
That whole passage where he calls his stepdad “papa” and talks about his mustache reads like some sort of gay porn setup.
Evan Search What are you doing stepdad
Oh papa I’ve been a really ReALlY bAd BoY.
Papa: I gotta... punish you... son.
@@Therebesquare Okay :/
@@Therebesquare why does this sound like a roleplay from wattpad
@@Therebesquare well that's *_bUrNeD_* into my mind...
For everyone saying, "If these can get published ..." just remember: these are all self-published. There was no agent, editor, publishing house, book tours, advances. Literally no one in their right mind would publish these, especially as they are. That brings me comfort
Publishing gets this thick, mucussy veneer of purity because it's about books and books are by spiritually gifted creators for smart people, but it really isn't that comforting - half of those aspects are just pleasantly acceptable variants of advertising and you can still buy fancy Published books by all kinds of shitty people that will make some explicitly racist white dudes a lot of money
on the other hand if you self publish you basically have to settle for making jeff bezos more money, but you've got bills to pay
I know Onion Boy never would agree to it, but I would love to see this book given to a proper editor ... just to see how long it takes for the edits to devolve into "WHAT?!" over and over.
@@Caldella I believe one of his fans, it could’ve been a patron but I can’t be sure, offered to edit it. I remember seeing a video someone made where Greg flipped out on this fan for offering to edit his book and said his writing was “perfect the way it was.” They didn’t even ask him to pay, either.
@@naomikathleen3616 I'm 100% not surprised at all.
Any publishers and editors he'd try to go too/hire would burn his books with holy fire and call the cops on him
"These are my children, God and Karen"
Bruh that was literally an entire season of Supernatural...
Yeah supernatural was pretty bad too
@@tovareardon4541
I take offense.
@@erinw.9256 even after season 15?
@@TorrentialStardust
Yes. It's my comfort show. I wouldn't have survived high school without Supernatural.
@@erinw.9256 I mean I hate everything I enjoy and I’m fine 🤷♂️
Stones to Abbigale: Greg
This is Why I Hate You: Greg
Reapers Creek: Greg with a propeller hat
CATIE, HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME? You've fucking killed me.
it’s more like reapers creek: greg and also greg
@@moew3154 But with propeller hats
@@moew3154 They BOTH have propeller hats
Now I’m just picturing Onision wearing a black wig with thick black eyeliner and a rainbow propeller hat.
Every single of his books is a manifestation of "and everyone started clapping" meme.
This book is an amalgamation of every bad Tumblr post, the MAP ones included
Edit: except for bad fan posts. I would be impressed if someone managed to fit Miku binder Thomas Jefferson into a book and have it make sense
@@samt3412 Never been on Tumblr but I'll take your word for it.
Sam T now i wanna write a book just to put miku binder into it
I'm just canadian... well fuck
@@samt3412 Please explain to me how the term "Miku binder Thomas Jefferson" came into being
“Am I gonna read any of Onision’s other books? Hell no,”
- StrangeÆons, Nov 2018
She also did say if she made enough money from the first video she would read the other books
Whack
To think she said this after reading the best of Onion's books.
"Hell no"
*videos gets 3 million views*
"Hell yes!"
I started cackling because there’s no way to take Greg’s angsting seriously when it’s in the same sentence as, “I would drink my chocolate milk.”
"Stones to Abbigail represented the better version of myself--"
😬
There was a better version of himself??
“😬” indeed
Better does not mean not evil
Better half just means the half thats slightly less unbearable than his other half
@@valderath7433 I'd argue that this is why I hate you'z Greg was a bit more bearable, because at least he was just a flat out asshole
This entire book is just him having a wet dream about himself
this comment made my day
You just described Greg’s entire life.
"I'm not even bothered anymore; I'm just tired."
Us too, Teya. Us too.
She suffered for us. So we could have a filtered version and not being driven insane by exposure to this eldritch abomination.
Omg I had no idea her name was Teya. That's such a pretty name wtf I stan
@@elleblur5 ikr??
i want that quote on a shirt Right Now!
Onion boy did a lot of damage to my mental health as a teen, but I finally got the courage to watch your vids about him, and wow- it has been one hell of a cathartic experience.
What a pathetic dude.
I'm so glad you learned from it! You have nothing to be ashamed of, it's him.
I'm in the same boat. I think his fake persona is quite alluring to young teenage girls, the unapologetic, raunchy humoured, honest guy that we all thought was so cool. Looking back, yikes on bikes, at 20 I can't believe I ever watched his shit. Hes just a disgusting creep.
@@EvieBats2 "yikes on bikes" I'm taking that
@@thedarklrd6714 feel free 🤣 it's my favourite saying
Nothing is better than leaving Onision’s cult and realizing how pathetic and stupid he is
As a wise tumblr user once said,
“11 year olds have the self preservation of someone who met God and wasn’t impressed”
And it all goes to shit when they turn 12.
Yet another wise saying I saw from Krimsonrogue's premire of this book
"I can't believe he killed SKY DADDY!"
It's okay you can just say Edward Elric
I'm 14 and this is deep
😂😂😂
Onision: This book represents me
Also Onision: _Writes a book that devolves into incel rambling in which he literally kills God thrice over._
yeah it doesn't make sense, unless his aim was for him to be represented as the psycho he is
Let's not forget his "sythesca" (not sure if I spelled it right but does it really matter?) religion involved aliens and superpowers
@@uncertain_zee the heavens gate
@@uncertain_zee i forgot about his OC by greg Donut Steel "religion"
@@uncertain_zee It's Sicesca
greg: “this book is based on my life”
also greg: “I fly and fight with weird ass aliens while making pancakes with my thoughts”
have you seen the video he put out recently where he talks about having to stop for a while because the aliens are after him. or something like that. I don't remember the wording but my point is he seems to enjoy playing into it.
@@jankcitycustoms he's playing the "look I'm totally crazy" card to avoid accountability. But it won't fly, expecially when he also stated on twitter than, paraphrasing, only an idiot would believe he's gone crazy
That sounds like what 6 yo's say when they lie about their life to impress people
Nue
I think he is crazy, just not in the crazy he wants to be
Nue half of that could be true 😳😳😳
Imagine how the entire plot of this book would have been foiled if Greg's parents had a metal roof on their house.
underrated comment
I have only just started the video so now I’m waiting with baited breath for when this becomes relevant.
EDIT: wow, you were in fact absolutely not wrong
*Foiled?*
foiled you say
@@joyflameball hush
out of context quote of the century: “now we have two identical greg-chads on their way to fight God.”
that reads like a tumblr shitpost
It isn't any better incontext
Holy shit, spoilers! 😂
😅😅😅
taylor it basically is a tumblr shitpost
Onion: “This book is the most about how I am now”
His character is 11
Madeline Harper Untrue. My three year old godson is more mature than Greg.
He likes to diddle kids because he's a child inside thats why he's doing nothing wrong. Logic⁹⁰⁰⁰
I actually think he legit forgot the character was supposed to be eleven. Then suddenly remembered but is such a narcissist he figured "i can make this make sense!"
*Also Onion:* Oh btw I have psychic abilities and I flew up to god and killed him
He's like 36 right?
“Oh God, he’s noticed a female.”
Disconnect his internet.
Is this the plot of SCP: Containment Breach 2?
Get away from the internet, I'm cuttin' it down!
@@sugarvomitt4831 from any educational institution
You know, Onision clearly has a firm stance that pedophilia is bad. But like... only when ugly men do it. When hot girls do it, it's fine.
Nope, he's a pedophile.
Huh, you wouldn't think he'd condemn himself like that.
@@commandercorl1544 I know, right? If anything, he should be preaching the opposite
@@gokuxsephiroth4505 Exactly. Wacky double-standards, amiright?
@margaretgibbs6673Tbf that's typical narcissist behaviour so you're right lol
11 year old Greg is flirting with the 15 year old girl becuase that's who 30 year old Greg would flirt with
*OOF*
Das prolly true
Well he did rate teenagers bodies..
@@bug8992 he literally groomed like 3 whole human beings hes a monster.
@@rennyh8627 I think he groomed more than 3 but the point is, he is an actual monster, I agree with you
Anna-00P
Greg: "This is the REAL me. This is my gritty, realistic, tortured life. "
Also Greg: "I astral project with aliens."
Thomas Marshall that just shows Greg’s grip on reality
I'm so confused why he chose this book in particular to add that at the beginning??
What a religous experience for a 'legit' atheist, I amazed 😂
I mean he got the pedophile part down which is fucking disgusting
I mean, "I'm the son of God's God" is... Something, innit?
I love how this was the book where Greg was openly straight up like "This is essentially about me and my life" and then it ended up being about ALIENS and he becomes a LITERAL GOD
I knew it
There is no loving God
Gregory views himself as a God, he has called himself so several times too.
@@curryinahurry1746 Does that mean that when he says you shouldn't pray for your relatives who have cancer, it's because Greg himself gave them cancer?
that chuu pfp,,,,,,man of culture for sure
If I recall correctly, some of that shit is stuff he actually believes.
I feel like there are nuggets of genuinely interesting things in this book but they were executed. Not executed poorly - simply executed. Killed on the spot.
Reals
'Oh god he's noticed a female.' is a good reaction to all three books.
Decently applicable to Zeus as well.
Goatly McGoatface 😳
@@goatlymcgoatface2251 and sometimes males too😞
@@oryanstudios2252 Bit rude
How?
the fact she said ,“we would hit on my sister” instead of “he” didn’t phase me says a lot about onision’s previous books
Exactly!!!!
EXACTLY what I thought. I was surprised when she corrected it, I didn't fucking blink at the original.
@@michaelkeller5555 she didn’t either LMAO
Besides, the man has admitted he’s kissed his cousin, there’s nothing he wouldn’t do to his family if he could control them like he does his partner and kids. I really fear for his kids’ safety.
The line “who’s going to tell Greg about lesbians” after the plaid part had me laughing pretty hard
@@Jay-pb6bw considering the last time he has written something about lesbians? No, his big boi galaxy brain doesn't get the concept
weefs! I read this in Betty White’s voice. I love her comedic ironic and iconic line deliveries. ❤️
What's the timestamps for this?
Just our of context, reading that before the video, is so bizarre and confusing
@@natstewgirl 51:38 :)
the original plot of "small boy from hick town discovers a mystery with creepy aliens and murder" could have been cool if greg had the ability to form a coherent sentence.
Greg: the trees are my friends uwu
Also Greg: *destroys wetlands*
i adore this comment, from the username to the cyniscism. thank you for blessing my day taylor
I'M PISSINH MYSJELF AT THIS COMMENT
I still feel bad for all those animals that he destroyed the habitats of
my wiggeth has been snatched from my scalp and has been sent to mars via intergalactical ups
Bruuuuu lol
This went from:
- I'm a lonely kid who spends all his time in the woods
- I'm being attacked by aliens every night
- I'm a furry Chad who is going to kill god
The natural order of evolution
@@ceo9915 it all makes sense now
AllMight is best girl fuck
Makes sense to me! 👍
@@ceo9915 No, that's supposed to be funny and ironic.
"Oh god, he's noticed a female" made me burst out laughing, my thoughts exactly
as somebody with Tourette’s I can confirm, we are all aliens. We aren’t disabled, we’re aliens.
Cool
Hi, Alien. I'm Dad.
Ah yes, your tics are not uncontrolled impulses; they are truly just your inner intelligence, which goes beyond what any human body can handle. We cannot expect a human body to keep all that knowledge within itself, can we?
@@Schnort the tics are the disguise momentarily glitching
@@Schnort the tics are uncontained signals from the mothership.
"This book is heavily inspired by my own life"
~20 minutes later~
"So 2 Omnipotent Chad Gregs are on their way to defeat God"
What’s sad is that I would have probably written something similar, but unlike this onion, I don’t claim it was my life
bob Zie how does this guy expect anyone to take him seriously LOL
But remember, he is a happy healthy man not trying to overcompensate for ANYTHING...
How does one defeat what doesn't exist? 🤔🤔🤔
Good god I saw this comment before and thought it was a joke
>Hears Greg saying Stones to Abigail is the better version of himself
>Recalls Roller-skating into a school shooting
ziashock that was the first thing I thought of
LMAO
He was wearing heelies to escape his feelies
That was my first thought too.
@@deadchannel4619 fuckin hell that made me laugh
Imagine
“Hi, my name is Kull and here are my two children God and Karen!”
It may seem like an odd thing to get hung up on, given the insanity that is the rest of this book, but I can't get over the fact that all of onion's books have the same, nearly identical "I must now save the day" scene.
Chaos and violence breaks out when the main character is out in public, separated from his love interest, and he runs away. He then immediately turns back around, runs back into the chaos, and effortlessly defeats the villain. He sustains an injury that is initially perceived as serious, but it never requires treatment or any recovery time. This is always the plot point at which other characters start to perceive the protagonist as a genuinely heroic figure.
It's nowhere near the worst, or most illogical, thing in onion's books, but it's so weirdly specific. It's like he's been reliving the same heroic power fantasy over and over in his head so obsessively, for so long, that he can't imagine any other way for a heroic action sequence to unfold. And the whole "run away - run back - effortlessly win - gets hurt - injury is nbd - everyone cheers" is so laughably immature and unbelievable that I'm pretty sure he came up with that specific power fantasy when he was, like, nine.
It's so baffling. It's so bizarre. How is he not embarrassed. He published this. On purpose. What.
Christ, this “book” is like the literary equivalent of two kids playing with action figures: I go over here and I TAKE THE POWER! Ok, but then I come in and I have a gun and I shoot the bad guys!!! And then I also come in, but I use my mind to make a BOMB and I melt the bad guys faces off! And then there’s a girl there and she’s my girlfriend now! No, now she’s MY girlfriend because I make YOU cry!
And on and on and on...
The most accurate description how did you coax this perfect analogy from the cosmos
Kyra Smith - Hey thanks! :)
Hey, it takes a real man to have a hundreds-of-pages-long playground argument with himself!
wow your skill at pretending to write like a kindergartener is pre damn legit. Thank you for your contribution to my emotional feely feelings.
vulcaire h - You are welcome. Thanks for the boost.
"Who's gonna tell him about lesbians, in the last book he didn't have the strongest grasp on the concept"
I died
moon milk he really doesn’t get it 😂
"Hm, yes. A lesbian. That's a woman who likes women _and_ me, right?"
@@effeffiagonalick5078 lmao ty making me laugh whilst sicc :)
its funnier if we dont tell him
I legit sobbed when I heard how he treated us. Ughhh
"All of this is happening because of a magic rock in his brain."
Greg, we in the real world, call that a tumor.
Lol trey
It would have been a realy nice plot twist, if all the magic stuff were hallucinations caused by a brain tumor. But no he had to become a randomly op being and killing god in the end 😂
OH MY GOD
XDD!
LOL
I like to listen to these book review videos as I fall asleep. It’s gotten to a point where my cat has started to recognize that the sound of Teya crying out in Onionman induced agony means that it’s bedtime.
I hate how much I relate to this we both need help 💔
I literally fall asleep to these too omg
I fell asleep to Teya's reviews the last two nights. I usually listen to a podcast. The cats were so confused and actually came to check up on me because "mother, it is late and you have not started the resting sounds."
“she was ugly despite having blonde hair and blue eyes” omg #justaryanracethings 😍
The username fits well
When she read that out I was just like 'okay onion, your hitler is showing'
"I wanted to kiss her but then I thought.... WHERE ARE DEIN PAPERS?"
Ah, it's like having both of those automatically make you attractive no matter what. Not sure what that sentence was, but then again, he says the weirdest sh*t lol.
@@htsunmiku Ikr it's like sometimes he comes off as racist and then he's surprised when he's called racist
Greg's entire online persona: "I'm not like other girls!" 😂
He’s if r/notlikeothergirls and r/niceguys morphed
It’s true, he’s much much worse
@@lindseytaylor3793 and r/imapedophile
@@abendrot___8055 yeah instead he goes after those 14 year old girls innocently thinking they're special.
@@lindseytaylor3793 So true!!!
Onion mentions that his self-insert is "Far above average height"
In court, Mrrepzion is 5'11 and towered above Onion
Seems like someone has a complex
Onion boy has a complex? Impossible
One of many, it seems
Which one?? 😂
Actually repzion is 5'10, so onision would be 5'7 at the absolute most. Probably 5'6 though.
@@beyondviolet Exactly. What he actually has is Simplicity
“We would hit on my sister” actually felt like the throat punches he’s so fond of. Thank god it wasn’t we.
Okay honestly I was surprised when she corrected that
He would never hit on his sister because she was vaguely mean to him as a child 😤😭
Greg's family: *freaks out and rushes to the ER because of a cut*
Also Greg's family: *is in a car accident* this is fine, let's self medicate
i think about this comment so much
@@_trico42 Friendly BUT REALLY RANDOM Recommendation:
Sci Man Dan.
in the same day
😂
Also an accident where somebody died that’s so illegal to just leaveee God i can’t stand this book
“ *we* hit on my sister”
honestly was surprised when you corrected it to “he”
i just assumed that’s really what he wrote
same tbh. i was like "yeah sounds like something onion boy would do"
In this second book everyone says "copious amounts of desserts" he wrote deserts.
Same! I didn’t doubt it at all when she said it!
seo Weren’t you paying attention? He went out of his way to established his sister was ugly.
That’s how we knew he wasn’t gonna flirt with her.
Alabama 100
I literally imagine the characters all as Greg in different wigs.
Synthetic Teapot that’s brilliant but now I can’t get that idea out of my head
I don't even bother I just imagine all of them as Greg period.
To be fair that's basically all his channel was
Stones to abbigale = bright blond wig with extra pale foundation
This is why i hate you = pretty much just his goth persona geddup but with more Glasgow smile makeup
This book = dirty blonde hair, but also doing that thing where you go on your knees and put shoes on your knees to make you look shorter
OMG YESSSS
it all makes sense now
XD
And that's why no one has character development
Look at poor Thursday’s expression! He just wanted Æons to read him a normal story.
“One of the first God halves I have killed”
One of the first.
Of the THREE halves.
Kqrgkvwtk you're right I never noticed that
OH *NO*
Manbearpig, but with god. GodGodGod, half God, half God, and half God.
@@Circuitssmith krimsonrogue fan?
"when we come back in the third half if the show we'll talk about cars, car repair, and-a, the answer to last week's puzzler."
For someone who despises drugs Greg certainly writes like he's on them
So his first book -- as he hates people calling them novels, apparently -- ought to have been titled 'Stoned on Abigail' ...
nigelft 😂😂
He's high on Greg.
I think drugs would make him less stupid, honestly
i am the 420th like and im pretty sure this is my biggest accomplishment
"I read onisions third book" Well I cant wait to see the third breakdown-
Each and every time I listen to this and hear 'My only friends are the trees', I expect it to be follwed by 'because they can't walk away'.
Everytime I feel like I'm a bad writer, I'm going to watch this.
Can confirm, it does wonders for one's self-esteem.
On the bright side, if you can manage to write worse then Onionson, that would actually be impressive too
Mr Everything 70 That is true. such a skill is rare
As you should.
Me *creates some magic system* alright i explain the rules of it to myself, outlined the differences that could happen, and why this can happen and enhance magic*
Onision "magic happens cause i am god!"
Well I feel better now
I fell asleep watching this, woke up 20 minutes later, and wondered why you were talking about a different book.
you were not.
Lmfao
Not sure if thats a compliment or diss.
M3R3 why would it be a compliment
Nah, you're right.
I digress. It was boring. 😽
M3R3 that's not what digress means
@@vciforgot5156oh... Since you know it all. I'd love to enlighten you on definitions, vocabulary and comedy.
di·gress
/dīˈɡres/
verb
leave the main subject temporarily in speech or writing.
You must of missed the joke and a chromosome.
Greg: this book is based on my life
the book: *literally kills god as an emo 8'10 eleven year old after geting abducted by aliens while astro projecting into space*
i hate when that happens
@śóy
For me, it got repetitive after awhile.
But I'm glad others enjoy when it does happen!
@@professionalcatgirl8592 yea, it was fun the first time, but after awhile it got annoying.
Hah, I did that at 9, without all the emo. That came up five years later.
@@AghiTron this implies you were the lady dimitrescu of 9 year olds
As a boy, I can confirm it was typical for my friends to hit on my sister when they came over when we were kids, which was doubly weird because I don't have a sister.
Two sentence horror
I can confirm, all of my friends would hit on my sister. Which is weird because I didn't have friends.
That's because your non-existent sister was actually the ghost of Bella from the wych elm. Who put Bella in the wych elm???
Hot take: this actually is based on The Onion’s life, but the entire time he was high asf, and this bad trip is why he’s so vehemently anti drugs
He just spent the first 18 years of his life in a single continuing high
"two identical greg-chads on their way to fight god" i'm losing my mind
Can we talk about how Greg always makes his self-inserts mass murderers. Anyone ever look into that?
Leviathan i think you’re forgetting “And Maybe Someone Should Check In On Him Every So Often Just So They Know He’s Not Ordering Any Magnum P.I’s Or Whatever Guns Exist I Don’t Give Two Shits About Guns Really Lol”
@Leviathan the scientific term is "raving fucking lunatic"
"books are based on his real life." So he imagines bombs going off in stadiums.
Turner Diaries vibes.
@@expendableindigo9639 feel like im gonna regret asking but what are the turner diaries?
48:42 "He was a serial predator"
To quote Krimson Rogue: "POT, MEET KETTLE"
Me: Well, at least now we know where she got it from
"This book is inspired by my life, the good and the bad."
Later in the book; "so then I killed god..."
Yeah so I was raped by aliens. I made a genocide.
Am I cool now? Can I sit with the cool kids? Please?
and I rewrote human biology and committed genocide on alien race in another realm of reality so it took me just a couple of seconds.
So I think the ONLY thing that's true out of this whole book, is the part where he pees himself, and dumps the chocolate milk on himself to hide the fact that he peed himself.
This entire story was just cover up.
*Illuminati music*
kombucha time
@@yasminseow2033 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣 this story really didn't age well!
@@wizmo2216 Pretty sure that is accurate, sadly lmao..
greg wrote this book remembering that time he peed himself and was like "how can i not be embarrassed by this story anymore? I KNOW i'll make it so that i fuck someone 4 years older than me and then fight god (and win)!"
the story is really about him rejecting whisky but accepting LSD
hot take i agree
10/10 review
"we learn that he is very into girls. i guess just like, as a concept? just all of them?"
i mean, as a lesbian, same
Onision: This book is basically about me, okay? It's flat out just me.
The book: "I've learned to levitate on command, I've learned to cook food with my thoughts."
Nice of him to be transparent about thinking he's God
he read Matilda and said "but where aliens??"
@@inthegrass11 STOP 💀
@@inthegrass11 Its like he read Matilda, thought that he and the protagonist had so much in common because they both such galaxy brains that are too hip for the room, wrote self insert fanfiction about it, and then got bored and just put his God complex in there for fun.
Onision x Matilda fic when
I’d separate the art from the artist, if the “artist” could separate himself from his “art”
Disasterous Masterson this is quotable af
Amen.
Disasterous Masterson "Artist" "Art"
*That's literally impossible for any artist to do.*
brittreidandkato not with jail it isn’t
Gregory “I’m not like other girls” onion son
This is a perfect example of a "Mary Sue." Finally, a true character study of a "Mary Sue" and why they're terrible.
There's a lack of self-awareness in writing a Mary Sue. But telling us that it's a Mary Sue as if we wouldn't catch on -- wow.
since it's a guy it would be "Gary Stu"
This is like a perfect example of a Mary Sue
Vs a power fantasy
Like this lands as Mary Sue rather then harmless(ish) power fantasy because of the absolute lack of self awareness like the other commenter said
"Her haircut is brown"
Woah, can I get my hair cut in a blue shape?
Under rated post
@@dmrthe3rd I want my hair to be a yellow shape
*Maya the Siren from Borderlands 2*
I want mine galaxy.
Lmao I want mine in diarrhea brown
I think Onion's trilogy needs to be studied by a criminal psychologist...
I'm sure a criminal psychologist would feel sorry for him after a while because it's clear that he's too chickenshit to have done any of the edgy shit he talks about. The truth is far more pathetic. The truth is that he's fetishizing this shit and wants to LARP as an edgy boi.
69th like, nice
I want to be a criminal psychologist, so when I graduate I will.
That aged like fine milk. He's being investigated by the FBI :)
His writings are more pathetic than those of Elliot Rodger and Seung Hui Cho
As someone with tourettes, God I wish I was an undercover alien tormenting Greg
Same
Don’t we all.
This wins best comment
@@datseawitchudontknow5329 hahaha, thank you ✊
Yeah, I wish we were here to fuck with Gregory Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way.
Remember that episode of Bojack Horseman where Bojack, Todd, and Sarah Lynn all get together and do drugs and try to write a book? I feel like the same thought process went into Reaper’s Creek
Legitimately didn't know what the name of this book was until this comment. It's just "Onion Book Number 3: The One Where Gregory Kills God"
@@AeonKnigh432 better title than what we got tbh
"Alcohol runs through our bloodlines".
Doctor: "Do you know your blood type?"
Greg: *Single Malt*
Kombucha**
Store Brand Jack Daniels
The secret is to not drink it just place the booze in your bone marrow.
Jim Beam
Ah, hops and barely!
This series should be called: Daddy Issues: The Book, Daddy Issues Part II: Electric Boogaloo, and Daddy Issues Part III: The Daddening.
Daddy Issues 2: Judgment Dad
grian reference i like it
Daddy issues 3 : return of the king
Book I: The good, the dad, and the Abbi
Book 2: Greg of the Dad
Book 3: The Dad Strikes Back
Joshua Rieder book 1 : the pedo menace
Book 2 : attack of the creep
Book 3 : revenge of the sex offender
the most concerning part of this is “based on true events”
LMFAOOO
So was the movie "Dude where's my car?" The movie was far more believable though.
m is cool it’s true i was the alien
Lol ikr
Not gonna lie. I forgot this part.
I just looked up onision and apparently his full name is Gregory James Daniel. Those names seem familiar
"An alien sticks its finger in his throat"
My brain: *thinks of that one vine*
Kitten Dream I love that one! 😂
The witch meme?
Why is this the funniest thing I’ve heard all day? I can’t stop laughing.
@@kammieferguson9523 this one th-cam.com/video/umgx2xsH_MU/w-d-xo.html 😂😂😂
I'm dying
"Stones to Abagail represented the BETTER version of myself." OOF
Basically just admitting there’s no good version of him XD
Imagine admitting you’re a terrible person while trying to make it seem like you’re just #deep
Hold up- as a disabled woman I would like to suggest he keep the idea that he can't ask about us or approach us. None of us want to interact with him 😭
as a disabled enby, i do not want this man near me. i third this.
Not disabled, but my sister is. I too do not want him near her. I fourth this
Yep disabled nb here saying nopenope
I second that and I'm not even disabled. Onision should just stay away from every woman in existence
not disabled, but i don't think gruggles should approach disabled people because i don't think he should approach anyone.
i feel like i need to hire a moving company to help me unpack everything wrong with the part where greg says he eliminates gender inequality by editing human dna. like i know the guy hates women but holy shit.
@Santa D that would make more sense, but i'm also not sure i'm willing to give greg the benefit of the doubt
up yours transphobes! fear onion man and his dna editing powers!
"Does Onision pass the Turing test" is absolute gold holy shit
I have always felt like some dumbasses would fail if run as the "bot" in a Turing Test.
Holy shit he really doesn't
What’s the Turning test?
@@caroliner.7628 In short, it's a test to determine if a robot is sentient/sapient and has human emotions. It's more of a thought experiment, but it's really cool! I definitely recommend looking into the history of the test, and Turing himself, though massive tw for homophobia because society did not treat gay men well.
I thought about this when she said it and decided that he might, but he would definitely be the person who caused a computer to pass it.
"...while his hair turns blonde, and grows longer..."
Wait. So not only is he Franklin Richards/Dr. Manhattan in this story, he's going Super Saiyan now, too? Onision was that kid we all grew up with, who deliberately wouldn't play superheroes with the rest of us, unless we let him have *all* the super powers.
He was the kid that made up reasons why he could kick out of 4 finishers and made you want to hit him foreal whenever people played wrestling. "I got hit by the sweet chin music but I lifted my head up a bit so it didn't get hit on the jaw all the way." "I put my legs down at the last second of the pedigree."
It reminds me of when I used to play Minecraft superpower roleplays when I was like 10 and I'd always be like "I have all powers" and during every fight I'd just dodge everything and piss off everyone else
“This book is the real me.”
It’s exactly what I imagined it would be, to be honest.
Wouldn't be surprised if he actually believed everything in this book is believable
Oh my god, I actually completely forgot about him saying that after everything else that happened in this fucking book.
"God is dead and Onision killed him" - Friedrich Nietzsche
@@Assimandeli how the story is presented is shit
I feel like Greg just watched American Horror Story: Murder House, and Heathers one day, and decided to make Tate and JD his whole personality.
i love Tate so much and I'm so upset that this makes sense i hate it here
While not having the charisma or likeability of either
Don’t do JD like this
Without realizing that JD was a villain
JD doesn't deserve this slander mate 😭