I Read Onision's Fourth Book
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 28 เม.ย. 2023
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HE MADE 4 OF THEM!?!?!
Dear God. What are you doing? Do you need to go to the hospital?
love you! hope you are well
Get that bag sis
@@obsidian4844 uuupq😂yuh
Greg was born an abnormally large baby and then absolutely nothing changed ever.
He's still a giant baby, true
big infant disease 😔
I'm gonna call you The Rotisserie because you just ROASTED HIM!!
“I was born looking like Mandark”
honestly me too Greg /j
The fact he’s trying to blame minors for being groomed is very, very, VERY telling.
He's the type of guy who reads Lolita and thinks SHE'S the problem 😬
@@lassoroot in the book? No. In that old movie yes. They ruined the awful book in that awful movie
@@spicybeantofu niche reference, he's the kind to tell you she's the problem (in the book AND movie) and then tell you that japanese lolita fashion is related to the novel/movie. {which it is not}
It really speaks to who he is, as both a person and a persuasive writer, that "15 year olds lie about their age to trap men" is something he thinks an *innocent* person would say.
@@AliceBunny05 yes true lolita fashion has nothing to do with lolita the book. I used to be apart of the fashion till it was only full of folks full of themselves
Nothing spells “I have appropriate feelings about teenage girls” like meticulously detailing every girl you dated in middle school.
I think you're dead on with the "overprotective" brother bit. Onion immediately jumps to incestuous intentions in a brother looking out for their sister because he simply cannot imagine a man caring about a woman without also wanting to insert himself into her.
And him saying that he didn’t care who his sisters dated is kinda horrifying when you know how abusive he is. Very much comes off as him saying that he didn’t care if his sisters were dating someone abusive.
@@thequeenofcringe1585I assume that his sisters knew how to avoid subhumans like him by default, so I wouldn't worry there either.
@@toolatetothestory true, still fucked up and weird
It comes across as "What, you think I like my sister? No... heh, no, not at all, and if you like your sister it means you wanna sleep with her, this is TOTALLY not me projecting." Why would you bring attention to that...?
I literally think that he sees everybody as a potential sex object, including his own sisters.
Greg doesn't just have "only-child" syndrome, he has "only-human" syndrome, as in, he believes he's the only real human on planet earth 😌
That’s narcissism for ya
He thinks he's god and all us puny humans are below him
He is LITTERALY the main character
Solipsism, the novel.
@@PanicattheDiscourse That's the word! It was dancing around in my brain. Thank you.
This is what I think Bojack’s autobiography would have looked like if he didn’t have a ghost writer
Honestly, I think Bojack is STILL a much better person than Greg. 😂😂
Idk why this made me laugh so hard
At least Bojack feels remorse for (most of) his actions
I thought it was so bizarre that the onion man references this “half-dinosaur hybrid documentary” in two of his books as a traumatic event for him, cause that just. doesn’t sound like a real documentary? and instead sounds like the plot of the live-action super mario brothers movie.
so I did some quick math, and greg would’ve been in second grade around 1993. THE EXACT SAME YEAR THE MARIO BROS MOVIE CAME OUT.
I am THOROUGHLY convinced he said it was a documentary to cover his ass from being EVISCERATED about being traumatized by the fucking super mario brothers movie 😂
oh my god that is incredible
Amazing
Oh my god thats hilarious, i hope its true!
I learned this from a comment on the third book video - look up the Dinosauroid. It's some theory and you can find the exact picture that traumatized him on the top of Google images 😂
@@emilyrasputinHAHAHAH SAW IT. tysm for sharing this gem with the internet. i can’t stop laughing and rolling around my bed 😅
The fact that an autobiography about a guy in his 40s only talks about high school experiences says a lot
I genuinely feel KrimsonRogue put it best when talking about Onision's first book (at least I think it was the Stones To Abbigale review). "It's about a loser in high school, written by a guy who was probably a loser in high school who never got over being a loser in high school."
He peaked in high school and never grew the fuck up
@@chloemarlowe3817 I didn’t want to add a like to your comment, because it was at 69, and I’m juvenile. The spot on reference to KrimsonRogue and his very appropriate take, though? I had to hit the thumbs up.
Peaked in high school only there was no peak
@@lemoncarr2599 He peaked in high school, except after the peak instead of a slow decline there was just a sheer cliff face.
greg offering to kiss a gay boy and said gay boy immediately becoming christian and homophobic is insanely funny
Honestly completely valid response
Scared the gay right out of the kid
Literally beyond scared straight
Onision being so repulsive that he made a person start hating the entirety of men just by kissing them
Amazing
@@Angietta 😂😭😂
Greg deserves to be locked in a room where the walls, floors and ceiling are covered with pictures of that human-dinosaur hybrid.
I can’t stop laughing at this.
this comment made me scream laugh, holy shit LMAO
and every ten minutes it flashes as Chris Hansen for 1 second
scp containment procedure
This is the funniest thing Ive read and the most valid thing Ive read
As a black woman hearing greg talk about needing “ebony ladies” in his life makes me want to crawl out of my skin😅😅😅
Wait until you hear about "Booty" lol
basically in a nutshell, in his second book This Is Why I Hate You, one of his charachterless love interests is a black woman that he nicknames "Booty" who has the following unique charachteristics that really make her a well rounded charachter
1. She's black
2. She has a big ass
3. She inexplicably wants Gerg to insert his baby carrot inside of her.
And finally...
4. She's vegan.
I'm not even kidding lol
If Greg is around, I’m suddenly not black.
The worst part is that he probably thought that he was being so progressive with that line. I have no reason to believe otherwise with all his shallow soapboxing.
@@francescov.3610 Oh yeah, she was apparently "Not his race" in the text.
Girl I'm scared too 😭
Someone sliding into your ask box and sending a copy of Onision's book feels like someone slipping Chlamydia into your morning coffee
omfg 💀this is horrible and hilarious
K you just made me burst in laughter- thanks you madam sir
This whole book reads like an extended Tumblr fake story
No way, Tumblr fake stories can be entertaining
How dare you compare this trash to such classics as "Oppa Homeless Style" and "Homestuck Shock Blanket". My three weed-smoking girlfriends will be hearing about this.
@@ButterflyScarlet do they smoke weed and kiss you though?
so true and weirdly the only thing missing is his vegetarian rants which are absent which is completely bizarre.🤔
@@jamiejam9976 it's called a bunt, and yes they do smoke weed bunts before we kiss because they are my girlfriends
I can’t help but suspect Onion’s standard for “girlfriend” in school was “girl who will willingly speak to me without screaming”
my guy describes thinking girls are pretty as falling madly in love and calls her his soulmate 😭
Not to mention acne or normal hormonal changes = immediately ugly and break up with reasons. Dude is deadass only looking skin deep for relationships 😂
"A doctor suggested i die." -Onision
You know, I'm something of a doctor myself..
“He gave my sister a bag of candy instead of me. 😢” HOW IS HE STILL PRESSED ABOUT THIS.
NOOOOO!!!!!!! Greg didn’t get his sweet little treaties!😭IT’S SO UNFAIRRRR!!!!🥺😓
THIS IS A GROWN. MAN.
@@RebaMcImTiredITS CHILD ABUSE :( he’s so traumatized someone give him some candies
If that happened to me as a kid, I’d be pissed about it then but if I looked back on it now I’d just laugh my ass off
To be fair, I'd still be kinda mad lol. Damn neighbor
I am ultra masculine and have no childhood trauma and to this day I still think about the scary dinosaur-man I saw when I was 7.
I remember seeing that same stupid "What if Troodon evolved to be human" thing from the 1980's when I was 7 and I thought it looked kind of cool.
Does that make me tougher than Greg the Onion? Of course it does.
I wonder why, out of all the memories, this was the one that stucked with him so much that he included it in TWO of his books...
@@enio9477 Because he's a baby who got traumatized by a clay model at an age where most kids can start to understand the difference between what is and isn't real.
Kinda makes me want to send him a bunch of animorphs
@@OsirisLord Oh my god, that *is* what he's talking about, isn't it?
The way this man has a spouse and children and spent all his autobiography talking about high school is INSANE
i want all of us to try, seriously, with a straight face, to talk to our friends or a new stranger/acquaintance about our lives like this and see how many seconds we can get through before we lose it, or the person in front of us, because WHAT THE HELL 😭😭😂😂😂😂🙈🙈🙈🙈
Peaked in high school vibes Huh
MIDDLE SCHOOL MOSTLY
its all tied to having an underdeveloped brain. its why hes also so into minors. due to some mix of genetic and environmental disturbances he hasnt mentally matured past tween/teendom.
RIGHT OMG. the fact that this man is fucking 40 too, you would imagine that by 40 highschool/middleschool would not rank as one of the most significant in the wider scheme of things.. this man has not lived ☠
the dissonance between him saying "I'm not traumatized" and then flooding the book with every potential trauma he can think of is 100% his way of trying to make you feel bad for him even though he's waaay too stoic and masculine to complain about his life
"it's pronounced stow-ic not stoike"
Honestly it’s just sad hes beyond the point of therapy. He could have easily written these as just journals and taken them to therapy or even a psychologist and get help :/ he’s gross and disgusting, but at one point he could have turned back but then he did the worst thing he could with those minors.
@@compassrose1466true narcissists are usually out of the reach of therapy as that would require them to admit there’s something wrong with them
Onision got a nosebleed once as a kid and almost got circumcised and now he thinks he's writing Slaughterhouse-Five.
top level comment
I almost died as a baby. And unlike getting a cut, it was literally because baby me scratched at her throat a lot.
And throat is tender skin, as is baby skin. So baby me ended up opening up a bit of throat.
@unhackerthelaziestbastardo6083 If we're taking about baby stories, I was born 2 weeks early via c-section because my mom didn't want to give birth near my older brothers pinewood derby.
If we're talking about medical stories, I had stomach acid leaking into my intestines and up my esophagus into my airway (sometimes in my sleep and would wake up with my throat bleeding), and doctors dismissed me for over a year until my voice had dropped so deep that I sounded like a man, at a ripe 15 years old, born as a female.
But, on the plus side, I'm Trans so it worked out okay in terms of free voice dropping until I can get on testosterone lol
@@vibechecked7522 god gave you a freebie with that one
i had a double take when i saw that he ACTUALLY wrote “simulate breeding” like that was a normal way to say having sex 💀
Greg admits to having a breeding kink at various points in the book, so it might actually be a more specific and probably untrue thing.
BEEP BOOP I AM A REAL HUMAN
I can't even lie that line genuinely made me gag
I laughed, but only because I imagined a shitty $1 Steam game with crappy 3D models stolen from an asset website. There are legitimate games with animal breeding simulations, of course, but I can't get my mind off of crappy 3D-pasted Greg staring at two other awkward models going 'hmmm yes. this is breeding.'
Half-life 2 Combine ass phrase
"Why do you care so much about your 6th grade exploits?!"
Because that's the only time he can talk about girls from his preferred dating age without being labeled as a predator
that made me throw up in my mouth with instant recognition of how true it is, oh god 🤢🤢
I didnt even think about this and jfc you're right. His dating preferences never grew up because he himself didnt (of course not actually the reason but its almost poetic that this grown ass man acts and thinks like a child in EVERY aspect, including the worst ones).
@@joleneonyoutube
I remember Lol dicky in his song professional rapper raps about 14 year old topenga (or however you spell her name) from boy meets world and besides me commenting about it right now no one has mentioned it so it gives me onion boy vibes but dicky gets away with it cause he’s “funny”
Yikes. You are so right. He's reminiscing--trying to relive what it's like to be with a child.
could be he prefers them because he is r*tarded and is mentally around 11
it would explain a lot of his behavior and it wouldn't be too obvious as a disability
Onision cured my self esteem issues. No matter how bad I am at socializing OR writing, at least I’m not the _onion man_
it makes my fucking skin crawl how much this 35+ year old dude spends talking about grade school "girlfriends". like... it's genuinely unsettling how clear it is that he spends a loooooot of time thinking about little girls and wishing he could be dating them right now.
also like, being ANGRY at the relationships that ended??? I stopped having hard feelings about my middle school boyfriend within a few years. holding onto those feelings for over *two fucking decades* is unhinged.
Same. I'm only 22 but if my high school boyfriend from when we were 13 came up to me and apologised or something, i'd just shrug and go "whatever man, we were 13, it doesnt matter". The thought of still being hung up on it in 12 more years is unhinged to me.
it’s so pathetic to be genuinely upset about a grade school relationship for DECADES tf?? 😭😭 how can someone life like that?? it sounds so miserable and pathetic
I found out that my 8th grade boyfriend was gay for my brother, all my feelings stopped, we became friends some 3 or so years later when I reconnected with him at the skating rink.
It's funny how much Greg thinks about his past relationships when my first kiss turned out to be with a gay dude. He was spot on tho bc I turned out to be Trans, so
@@vibechecked7522 Lmao thats great. Glad you're doing okay!
@micahguillemette3344 Yeah, funnily enough, turns out I don't even like dudes, and he was friends with my now girlfriend of 3 years. It's funny how life works, but I stand firm that it's super cringe (and creepy) to hold onto those relationships.
“I had no interest in partaking in teenage cliches” says the perpetual 14 year old teenage cliche. God what a human skin tag
I'd call him a cyst. At least skin tags are largely harmless, but cysts are genuinely painful and spread disease
“Having a girlfriend stops school shootings” is just about the most onision thing that’s ever been said. what a weird guy.
It’s definitely some Elliot Rodger shit, the whole “if I was allowed to have sex with any female I wanted, I wouldn’t have committed a violent murder” is incel rhetoric at its finest
It's a round about way of saying had he, Onion Boy, not had a girlfriend in high-school he would have been a shooter.
Want to know something cursed? Some of the people in (at least two versions of the many) Onision forums had absolutely out Onisioned Onision on that one, plus a few other topics.
literal actual incel ideology
I didn't have a girlfriend and committed no school shooting, but I suppose it's because I'm basically a saint 😇
I’ll say the same thing I wrote on Alizee’s review of this book;
It speaks fucking wonders about Greg that his autobiography has zero to do with his current life or the years when he was actually successful on TH-cam, and his entire life revolves around the girls he kissed and tried to have sex with in high school. Like, 20 years ago.
I had fun in high school and loved my friends and had crushes but if I was given the task of writing an autobiography the time from childhood to becoming an adult would be all of one chapter if that. Cause that’s what it is, a chapter in your life meant to not be revisited again and again. The sad thing is he didn’t even “peak” in highschool, he just thinks he did?
For some reason he's mentally stuck in highschool and thinks that somehow being popular in highschool shapes up all the worth you'll ever have for the rest of your life
If he was intelligent, then him only writing about his childhood makes sense because it means he can talk about all the underage girls he wants to boink, and not get in trouble for it because he's writing during a time he was an adult. I think the real reason he didn't write about it is cause most of it is locked in legal crap, so he has to be careful, and if he tries to warp narratives to make himself look good, he'd get dogpiled by the internet for blatantly lying, cause he has problems not posting everything online.
Oh god you’re right, he peaked in his TH-cam years but he writes like he peaked in high school
I wholeheartedly agree, but I'm also thinking he thinks that if he talked about much that happened past high school he'll end up in prison.
He also glosses over his military service which should be a big deal
As someone who recently came to realize they were a victim of grooming when they were 13 at 28 and had to throw said groomer out of my house a few months ago, it is super cathartic to watch a groomer get roasted
"I had a few girlfriends in the fifth grade."
Yeah but how old were you at the time Greg?
This deserves more likes
@@minah6535 it will get them
Wait that's really clever. It's upsetting.
👑
listening to gregs childhood is like. whiplash of "clearly he had some traumatic experiences that deeply fucked up his perspective on people and relationships and its probably why hes emotionally stuck at 14 and preys on young girls" to "oh my fucking god this is the most pretentious and self absorbed man alive" i hope he gets help and heals from his trauma mostly so that society doesnt have to deal with the worlds most insane unhealthy coping mechanism.
Either heal or learn to live in a cave by yourself, man.
Where is a therapist even supposed to begin with a 40 year old man that’s still mad about the one time in 4th grade when his neighbor gave his sister some candy and not him?
He needs to be in a psych ward to detangle this level of willing victimhood while simultaneously ignoring all the times he was actually a victim.
He can only be a victim for minor stuff. Everything traumatizing is just proof to him that he's better than other people
I may have been a quiet kid in high school, but even I would have laughed at this guy.
@@ShallowVA I don't think gronk should ever go near a therapist. Considering therapists can only ever take your word for things and gronk is a raging narcissist, they'll just end up helping his narrative that he's the ultimate victim and his actual victims will end up suffering for it as he'll be taught to better manipulate those around him and use certain words to get a headstart if he's actively interacting with his victims.
It's a very terrible suggestion and I wish more people would realise that statistically, therapists almost always help the a buser a buse better than they help them become a better person.
gotta love how he says he was a woman sympathizer and feminist in training because he was raised with three women, yet assaulted his one sister, treated his girlfriend's friends like shit, continuously made unwanted comments about weight to his step mother, and so much more. it's kind of scary how he doesn't see the conflict
He might mean that he thinks he treats women better than he thinks they deserve 🤮
out of curiosity i looked up where he was born and it says he was born as gregory james daniel. like. james and daniel are two protagonists. we know they're self inserts. he didn't even bother picking names that weren't his. i cannot get over this it's incredibly funny he just used his own names like wow he wasn't even trying there
“Did you know school shooters have all the wrong tools (guns) and none of the right ones (love)” was the funniest and worst thing I’ve ever heard. Mr. Strange your face perfectly described how I felt.
to me that just sounded like something you'd see on a facebook post overlaid over a picture of some random place
This line belongs in a Robot Chicken sketch about the Beatles confronting Eric and Dylan
WHAT SKETCH NOW
Thank you, fam😊
Imagine holding hands with Greg when you were 12, then growing up and finding out that fully 25 years later, he's still obsessed with you and writing books about how he *deserved* to marry and impregnate you.
the way he talks about actual kids he knew as submissive and breedable physically hurts me
Let's be real. She's moved on and probably doesn't even know this book exists. He's the obsessive one. She's probably out there living her best life.
"whew, dodged a bullet there. Now, where is the bleach, I need to put some on my eyes before filing a restraining order on him"
@@qloewe1215 its less that you can't see people that way when you have a crush on them when you're both kids (6th graders are sometimes horny and definitely occasionally have sex), its more that like, why the fuck does is he so fixated on his middle school and high school life, its almost like he peaked then and literally nothing had happened to him and he has now grown as a person at all since.
In other words, I think this is a case where the issue is not so much him being a child predator (which, I mean, he is too) but more so him being a weird manbaby who has never accomplished anything as an adult.
incel levels of thinking,literally disgusting
The way he talks about his sister is fascinating, cause she seemed to have at least once cared for him, but he chased her away.
And then he beat her up so she would be nice to him. Greg is a great advocate for human rights
the sad thing is he probably just blames her and everyone else around him for his own terrible behaviour :,) he probably also had weird not normal feelings towards his sister. which is why he went on to do the same to his partners.
Teya I want you to know it has been 5 months since I consumed this video and the phrase "all the haters desire me carnally" has not yet paid rent for the space it occupies in my brain
Greg: I'm straight but u can still kiss me if u want
Goth guy: I quickly became homophobic, hating on gay people became a part of my lifestyle
I understood that reference!
Strangely, the most logical response to Greg saying you can kiss him
Based onionphobe.
💀 I'd throw my body if I could bahaha-
Greg: I'm straight but u can still kisse if u want
Goth guy: And I took that personally
Him taking his elementary and middle school “relationships” so seriously and STILL feeling so much bitterness about them is hilarious.
Sounds like my stalker still complaining about a girl he "dated" In elementary school for a day and her dumping him for another guy he still cry's about it somehow
He remembers how every person he had a crush on as a child looked. HE SAYS THAT THE WERE DEVELOPED AS IF THEY WEREN'T CHILDREN. Everything that comes out of this man's brain is terrifying. He is an incel with a partner and an audience, which is scary.
I mean he's a pedo what do you expect.
He thinks any relationship with a child is serious no matter how far back it was
Narcissistic ppl remember every slight against them because everything is a personal attack to them
I seriously hadn't thought about my own grade school for decades until I watched this lol
As someone who has watched all of the strange aeons onion trilogy, his autobiography is literally just his three books combined. This man can't write something without making himself the main character
So I watch Teya’s Onision book review videos quite a bit while drawing, So I took the liberty of cataloging which parts of his “fictional books” were just heavily romanticized versions of his own life where he was actually the tall, smart, handsome dude who everyone loved instead of the complete weirdo that he is.
12:45 - So in both his second and third book, he writes about his father figure being a sexual predator/abuser. In this specific instance, he’s talking about his biological father, who is pretty much beat for beat his father from the second book. I think this might also simultaneously be Julia’s father from his third book, because Greg can’t write a positive father figure to save his life, daddy issues eh?
15:08 - In literally all 3 books, he has a mother who taught him to fight, so that Greg can go around and beat up all the big jocks who tried to touch his girlfriend.
15:25 - Here we see where he got the “Dinosaur human alien” things, not even just the concept, but the entire story was also in the third book, which Greg himself admits. Also, I can’t be certain of this because I don’t think the timelines line up, but dinosaur-human hybrids was also a scrapped idea from Jurassic Park 4, so I wonder if the video he watched showed concept art of that idea.
18:16 - Here we have the story from his third book about going to the ER for chest bleeding, aka just a cut.
20:00 - I believe that this is the dad from the third book, since that dad was the only one not described as an abusive pedophile and was instead described as cool and manly. At least until greg gets his galaxy brain powers, wherein the dad just suddenly becomes abusive because daddy issues.
24:13 - This one is actually kind of sad. So Julia from his third book was based off this girl, since there was the same age difference and they met at the same church camp, and lord knows Greg doesn’t describe anything else about these women. I guess we know why Greg decided to write a pedophile into this third book, geez.
33:59 - Okay this one’s weird. This one reminded me of how Greg’s friend David acted in the third book around Greg’s sister Johanna and her friend. Except in his real life, Greg was the guy trying to flirt with his friend’s sister and her friend. Fucking weirdo.
44:50 - I think this is our Cory counterpart from the second book, since Cory is the only woman his age in any of his books that he is explicitly not in a romantic relationship with. Except with the caveat that he jerks off to her every night, which I assume is the same with real life Greg as well.
54:09 - This is, beat for beat, the exact same “dress goth for a day” story from his second book, and this girlfriend appears to be our Ashley counterpart
55:00 - Same as the last one, this WHOLE story was a part of his second book, down to the stepmom taking off his boots so he can’t kick as effectively line.
1:10:00 - This one speaks for itself, unhinged weirdo
1:12:08 - I’m willing to bet that this “religion” is just the galaxy brain stuff from his third book.
1:13:14 - I believe this friend is Davis from his first book, though I think Greg may have combined the gay friend from before and the motorcycle “friend” we see later into this one dude. I also find it interesting that in the book Greg heroically pulls his body off the road, but in real life he completely forgot about this friend and found out he died years later.
1:17:48 - this military life was also in his second book, although in that book he was this secret badass who could beat/kill anyone who got in his way.
1:20:35 - This training instructor was also in the second book, nothing else to really add here but that.
In conclusion, gross.
i had my first big lesbian gay crush in high school, for about 2 years i pined after this girl who barely paid any attention to me. there was An Onision Drama. it came up in conversation and she said "he's really not that bad. all of the people criticizing him are just jealous they don't have cute fans" and i felt every single bit of attraction i had to this girl vacuum out of me. gone in an instant. never even wanted to be around her ever again.
Dodged a bullet
That was close
I have a guy friend who’d just started to date this girl around 10 years ago, (they’re still together, they’re very sweet) and we were at a party. We end up talking TH-camrs we liked a lot at the time, and she mentions Onion man. The crazy thing is, she fit his fanbase to a T! Kinda goth, kinda nerdy, was bullied in school and had very few friends because of said bullying. Granted, we were more or less all like that, and I’ve no doubt, had I stumbled upon Onion at a bad moment in my life, I might’ve been “indoctrinated” too.
So, she mentions him, and I couldn’t not go “you do know what people are claiming he’s doing, right?” And she didn’t know, which I am so grateful for, cuz that meant I could explain it to her and she was able to listen calmly and openly. By the time the whole thing really blew up, she was already very done with him, and I’m so glad she is! Girl is so sweet! She doesn’t need to waste her energy on a person like Greg!
Reminds me of this guy that I had invited to a discord server and he ended up being in a very heated argument that turned very passionately transphobic?? Like what and no one was arguing against them I was way too in pain and too many people talking and if I had said something it would've been one against idek how many so
okay but in a similar vain the first guy i had a proper relationship with idolised greg and believed he was gods gift. turns out he was dating me because i have anorexia which makes me, and i quote, ‘much easier to manipulate and mold into the perfect little boyfriend’ and ‘the ideal partner’. needless to say we broke up. pretty sure he picked up that rhetoric and mindset from the onion man.
I just realized that he wrote that chapter about why childhood accidents “aren’t that bad” in his mind, because his own toddler DAUGHTER fell out of a window when no one was watching her!
If my kid fell out a window I'd be devastated. Even after they survive I'd be racked with anxiety and shame :/
And I think most parents would be the same.
And also, when he saw she fell outside from the second story the first thing he did was he took a picture/video of her as some kind of proof that he didn’t hurt her. While that poor baby should have been picked up immediately.
i have no Idea why he still isn´t in Prison! Take the Children and Put him and his shitty Partner into Prison, never to see the Light of the Sun again,
@@nejdalej not a narcissist life Onion boy
after dedicating the first half of the book to him being a child & getting childhood injuries such as falling off a bike, or god forbid, scraping your knee.
Greg is a man who realized he can manipulate and groom teenagers very well but completely lacks any actual charisma or intelligence that would work on adults. So despite his constant failures, he has constructed a universe for himself to live in where he’s actually smart, charismatic, and everyone wants him. And he uses young people who he can groom& take advantage of to fulfill that inferiority complex 🥴
it really says something that when greg finds out his "best friend" died he wished he could go back in time NOT to make up for all the years he spent ignoring his letter and over all being a shit friend, but so that he could miraculously inform his friend about his condition in time so that he would still be alive and it would be because of the oh so gracious and heroic gregory onion. he goes through really incredible strides and hoops to make every situation about himself huh
Only Greg Onision could write an autobiography in which he reflects on 9/11 being exceedingly mid.
He sounded disappointed that it wasn’t more traumatizing for him lmao
Which annoys me because me and my classmates watched the towers burn in real life from the top floor of my high school. I cannot describe the feelings we were all going through. A few parents died. It was really fucking traumatizing, and his edgy cool kid bullshit fills me with rage.
He probably wishes that he was one of the attackers.
Tbh I didn't even process at first that was his experience in high school... for a sec actually found it kind of relatable for that whole bit of not understanding the severity of what was happening: what even is a world trade center? didn't even see a video, just heard people talking about it years later.
the difference, I came to realize: I was literally 5
He really thinks he's bigger than a national tragedy that had global effects
The flawless logic of "My high school teacher said I write well, so my books can't possibly be poorly written, people just hate me"
That has "My Mom says I'm handsome!" vibes.
An unfortunate parallel to Chris Chan.
That compliment made Onion Boy so arrogant about his writing. He could’ve used it as motivation to get better, learn conventions, and how to break them. He totally skipped the learning part, though, and assumes anything he does is genius.
@@dakevinmg Right. If he is telling the truth about it as well there's also a huge difference in a high-schooler writing well and a writer writing well. In high school its expected that you're going to make obvious mistakes, and that you might not know how to edit very well and other skills you need to learn to write better. A teacher telling you you're great is basically more of a guidance to keep doing better rather than being told you're already a master at something. yknow "hey you got the basics down, keep going at it"
Like, I did great art in high school, and I'm in no way a master artist or famous for it or anything like that. It was great for what it was, but there was a shit ton of flaws.
Literally was put in AP English one year and he thinks he's the modern Shakespeare.
I love how Onion literally just mashed all the girls he liked in middle and highschool to make Abigale. Like they were all exactly the same just with different boobs.
I figured out why this book doesn't work!
Non-fic thrives on having two voices in the text: the voice of innocence and the voice of experience. Because he never fully grew up, he's only writing the former down. That's why it feels like the roughest of rough drafts
that, and also everything else about it
Onion man really went "i cant be a pedophile, look at all the pedophiles that i fantasized about wanting to date me!! Thats like, the opposite!" and thought it was a good argument
the lack of knowing how that sounds to the point he actually published it baffles and amazes and astounds me
@@joleneonyoutube thats nothing to worry about for the grooming onion, after all he forgave himself in another part of the book.
@@ijakoan when that came up i couldnt help but remember that one meme of obama giving a medal to himself
I'm convinced the greatest thing he's ever done, is helping thousands of people realize "... Oh, shit, my writing's pretty okay, actually."
Every time I feel bad about my own work, I revisit Teya's Onision series and KrimsonRogue's Empress Theresa series
It does wonders for the self-esteem!
That's such a good way to think about it. I feel great now :)
I’m glad that Strange Aeons decided to make this video in spite of the onion drama being years-old by now, because as hard as he tries to establish himself as anything else, I feel like this book really cements Onision as a walking cautionary tale. A warning to remind us all to self-reflect, seek help, and keep our egos in check in order to try and mature.
As many people in the comments have said, it’s obvious that Greg is stuck in a state of arrested development that’s been going on for decades, and it’s both sad and frustrating to see him showcase it so boldly in this book for the same reason, which is that this could’ve been prevented if he was willing to admit that he wasn’t always perfect and sometimes was the problem.
And I think being reminded of that is valuable in its own right.
The fact that this man can write all this down without an ounce of self awareness is astounding
Greg might be the only public figure that you can instantly guarantee has never had a ghostwriter… or an editor… or a proofreader…
Or a brain
Or the ability to empathise or self-reflect in any way
Now I can't get out of my mind the idea that he has, in fact, a ghostwriter, who voluntarily writes like sh*t, yet still manages to be greenlit by Greg
Obviously. No one could match his superior insights. No editor has the massive, throbbing brain that he does, therefore no one is qualified.
(Just to be sure there is no confusion, this is sarcasm.)
@@sophiatrocentraisin the ghostwriter is trolling greg, but greg doesn't notice
He is r/niceguys, r/badwomensanatomy, r/iam14andthisisdeep, r/menwritingwomen, and r/iamverybadass all rolled into one. The onion knows no bounds.
I've always thought Onision is like an onion. On the surface, he may look repulsive, but as you go deeper into the layers, you find the same shit and start crying
Also r/ihavesex
And r/thathappened
r/iAmVerySmart also
@@juniperrodley9843 ew a redditor. A feminist one no less.
y'know, when i was in kindergarten my teacher made a big fuss about me reading at a """college level"" and put me in gt
this stupid book kind of unlocked that memory and now im thankful that i was never so pathetic that i held on to that moment and crowned myself god of reading for all eternity
The whole thing with teenagers having crushes on adults makes me think of when I was in eighth grade and had a crush on my English teacher’s TA. He was in his early 20s, I think, and I would give him eyes and weakly flirt to no avail…because that TA was a normal fucking person who didn’t creep on a goddamn 12-13 year old.
So ready to be traumatized by whatever is in this cursed text
Omg me too!
Same, I'm going to ruin my psyche
Verifiably eldritch text
I love manmade horrors beyond human comprehension first thing in the morning
Happy 666 likes
Girl I'm starting to feel like exposing yourself to these books is like acute radiation damage. That's why your lungs keep popping 😭😭😭
I was just about to say that in another comment: they're so insane they're radioactive. So it must be true
She is the Marie Curie of our generation and deserves a Nobel Prize
@@scheele1646 two nobel prizes
@@matheusm.santana6527one for each lung
lmaoooo
I love how he makes fun of one of his first gfs for introducing him to her parents "like they were gonna get married and have kids or something" and then proceeds to fantasize about having a white picket fence with any girl he actually liked, even 20 YEARS after the fact. Healthy stuff.
this reads like the autobiography bojack horseman tried to write on his own
Love the concept of reading “My Immortal” as a “palette cleanser”
@@foolishlyfoolhardy6004 That's why I made myself a hardcover copy of 'Hogwarts School of Prayer and Miracles' to keep in my house for emergencies.
@@UltraCheesecakeFaceLOL it’s in a glass case with a “break incase of emergency” sticker 😉😂
He's 37, but the entire books feels like a child wrote it. "He gave my sister candy and not me!", "This girl dumped me because her friends didn't like me! Whatever, I don't need her anyway!", etc. He's stuck in those years.
made me want candy tbh...
it's really pitiful stunted arrested development
So much of this is other people having normal relationship dynamics (his sister making fun of him, the brother being protective over his sister) and then him acting like they're the weirdos like he's not immediately assuming there's something incestuous going on
Well, I mean, he basically seems to only value women if he can have sex with them. So I'm assuming maybe he thinks the same of other men.
Like, I had this roommate who literally only valued women if he found them attractive, like full on, sat at attention and was attentive if he thought the woman was attractive, and basically ignored if not the case. I also remember he asked my then-friend if he could date his female friend.
Assuming that my then-friend had a crush or was trying to get with her as well, basically. Generally speaking, the sort of cishet dudes who view women as sexual objects tend to think of every other guy as a competitor, and yes, that does in fact include siblings of those women as well.
So I'm autistic and my parents had many conversations with me about social interactions, how to be nice, why people dont like some things, ect
So I do get having to figure out things like "oh so this topic makes this person upset, so I shouldn't bring it up". But like... Greg is an adult and very clearly not trying to better themselves or be a kinder person. The books he wrote could be really good for him if done with a therapist in private for him to break down his issues. But him doing everything for an audience without any introspection isn't going to do him or anyone else any good
I hope his kids and all his victims heal from the damage he's done to them. They deserve better. I hope he becomes a better person too, if for no other reason than him not hurting others anymore
Onion man describes an old man waiting to get his sister alone so he can give her candy...and somehow concludes the sister is the villain? That story had me really anxious about his sister's safety, and he's only concerned about getting less candy than her. Such a weird takeaway from that interaction.
Exactly my thought! And as an adult he clearly has not reexamined that incident at all?! I truly fear for his children's safety
Yeah, glad I wasn't the only one who read that as potential grooming, yikes! I can understand a kid not knowing what is happening and feeling hurt about being left out. But it is genuinely concerning that a 40yr old adult can look back at it and still can't move beyond the hyper-focused 'all about me' thing to even contemplate something sinister could have been happening and it wasn't about him. All I can say is I really hope it was an innocent interaction and the guy just didn't want to give a treat to the shitty kid he didn't like D:
Reminds me of my sister. As a child, I remember this creepy guy cornered me in a shop and he went on and on about how "pretty" I was and that he "photographed countless children" and I "should model" for him. I awkwardly laughed and ran away after making a polite excuse. My older sister berated me the whole way home about how horrible I was for not getting him to notice her too and that I wasn't going to "share" the "opportunity". :( My mum agreed I did the right thing with getting away and tried to warn other parents about him but my sister was just so horribly mean to me.
While she isn't anywhere near as bad as gronk she didn't grow up to be a nice or kind person and unsurprisingly, we don't even keep in contact anymore. Weird how there are indicators to how a person will be in their adulthood during their childhood sometimes.
Just like his reaction to his high school girlfriend seeing an older man was and STILL IS to blame her. Then again from him, is this really surprising
@@margaretgibbs6673 I haven't watched the vid yet or ever heard of this story, so excuse if there's some important details that I don't know - but imo that's kind of fair of onion head for once.
Right, so you are in HS and your GF has gotten with an older man. Now obviously, that man is a pedo and has groomed her - no disagreement there obviously. However, I don't really see how it's possible to groom someone who is faithful to a partner already yk? Yes she is a victim, 100%, but she is still in the wrong - at least how she treated him by being unfaithful. she should know better by high school than to get with someone who is not ur partner.
I don't trust onion man to be reasonable at all tho, so there's probably some details I don't know and my made up situation here is totally inaccurate 😂
Was still an interesting thought/moral dilemma to pan out in my head
In the opening pages of this thing he hits us with "Just like Donald Trump (45th president of the United States), I, too, am persecuted." Hell of a take from the Onion Lord.
His mention of sexual assault at 11 is heartbreaking to me. He writes about it in the same way he would view it as an 11 year old as it was happening. I think clearly that whole situation delayed his mental development to be stuck at 11. This is explains how so juvenile we write and views his relationships.
*he writes
i sorta dout he stayed at 11 exclusivly due to the way he has manipulated people, i dout someone stuck at 11 would be able to do that (and obviously diagnosing people over the internet is not a good idea).
that said, he likely has been stunted in that way due to this? because there's no way a normal, regular nearly 40 year old man can write this shit genuinly.
A little simplistic but valid
Also you can edit comments
traumatic experiences (like sexual assault) can stunt mental and emotional development, i'd wager your guess is at least partly correct.
I think what stands out to him about the memory with the dinosaur picture is how he was able to complain to his mom and she fought the school about it. I think it’s one of the first times he felt like he could wield power by lying
The way he describes every woman by running down his list of which "would I fuck her?" characteristics she has is so maddening.
"normal Caucasian complexion" 🤮
Something about him describing a fourth grader as "a petite Mexican brunette" is grossing me tf out.
He thinks like a rooster with 0 technique in wooing a lady lol
Even his sister, it seems.
@@amitthehuman like white characters are fine and very very valid but why describe them like that 😭😭😭 as if pale skin is what makes someone beautiful and only european features. but then again this guy is a groomer. wouldn’t be shocking if he thought women of colour were unattractive since i only ever saw him praise white women. interesting fr.
This PDF seems like it should've been sent to his therapist instead of... published for the entire internet to read.
I’d feel bad for the therapist lmao
You think he’s got a therapist? Aha….
@@fawndoll190 probably not lmao, that's why he published this on the internet
I would pay money to see him talk to a therapist. Like full on, empty my bank account and get popcorn to watch it. Even though it would be sooooo depressing.
greg: *offers to kiss a boy*
the boy: i quickly became homophobic
He’s like a reverse George Costanza.
oh my god greg has so much unprocessed trauma it's insane. i'm not even halfway through the video yet and it's like getting hit with second-hand embarrassment but with every single mental health concern
THREE YEARS. We’ve waited THREE YEARS to be absolutely traumatized again. Was it worth the wait? YES.
Honey, patience is a virtue, hooonnnnneeyyyyyy
No
Exactly
it took me 3 years to be traumatized by onisions writing again, buddy. 3 YEAAAARRRSSS!!!!
Not as long as I waited for Fear Inoculum
And yet this burning heap of trash brought me even more joy than that masterpiece
learning he has siblings is so wild bc he absolutely comes off as an only child who never had his parents attention
He manages to have such strong 'only child' vibes that it becomes 'only humanoid creature that matters' vibes
I remember one video of him googling, "Toy fail." He stumbled across an image of a toy noose and said, "I should get this for my sister."
it just makes me feel so bad for them. like I wonder if they've read this book, and how they feel about the way he talks about them
Can you imagine the embarrassment of knowing that thing is related to you?
@Jasper Wisecarver If i was Greg's sibling, i think the opinion of a pedophile burnout wouldn't even be on the list of people whos opinions i have any modicum of respect for.
He didn't actually need to write this book, everything in it he already put in his novels.
yeah it's kinda lame,but so is he...
AINT NO WAY this man starts of his AUTOBIOGRAPHY with roleplay asterisks.
The only way this can sink any lower in quality is if he uses OwO's and UwU's throughout
“He was a fetus with an abnormally large head” I’M SCREAMING HOW DID YOU KEEP A STRAIGHT FACE WHILE SAYING THIS😭
It's like so absurd she couldn't process it in the moment but then when editing she grabbed the edges of the screen and said what out loud
FIFTEEN INCH LONG HEAD
What’s weird about that? /gen
@@letterborneVods It wasn’t weird, I just wasn’t expecting that at all.
@@microcult I still feel like he had to have meant centimeters because I absolutely refuse to believe a fetus could ever have a head of 15 inches circumference.
Okay, when I had my baby I ended up getting super bad gallstones and eventually needed to be in the hospital for them. Your videos seriously helped me calm down and bear the pain until my surgery. So these book reviews have become a huge comfort for me ❤ and seeing you back made me smile so big.
I learned one of my classmates was almost a victim of these two. They tried to get them to fly out and it just didn’t work out so my classmate got away. They were lucky.
How many children was he in contact with?!
It’s crazy how much he acts like a child. He still carries typical sibling rivalry as actual beef. He describes every single elementary school “relationship” as if it was real. He obviously still writes like a edgy teen that just started listening to MCR. It’s actually insane someone call still act like this at that age. This man is a father!
And almost 40
don't drag mcr's name like that
he didn't listen to mcr, they had dyed hair and make up which is not alpha male enough for him
Wait he is?!
its so unfortunate because angst riddled teenagers actually *have a reason for mediocrity. greg is just pathetic and washed up*
"My father wanted my penis to be modified" is currently causing me to lose it
I do not know why, but that part stuck out the most to me. Like, my dude, just say your dad wanted you circumcised. The way he phrased it boggled my mind.
when aeon said this i was in tears like what kind of bonkers way to talk about circumsision and foreskin
onision was the silent hill circumcision guy this entire time
like i don't like circumcision either but he worded it so weirdly
I am not really bothered about circumcision one way or another (I have no intention of having children and will never have to make that decision on behalf of another person) but "so it'll look like your dad's penis" is the single WEIRDEST justification for it I have heard.
The videos of shiloh are always so heartbreaking. A part of me thinks that the specific video of her in the joker makeup shouldn't be shown without her consent given how really obviously horrible it is, but I guess at the same time its perfect evidence of how horrible he was to women.
Every time i come back to rewatch this video, I have to skip it, it's so upsetting. I'm glad for the example, it REALLY shows a lot about him... but man, it's hard to watch.
Honestley, same. It's deeply upsetting to see her treated that way.
@@tiacat11Me too. It's literally footage of abuse. I dont wanna see that.
So much of Greg's "autobiography" being present in his books is scary. I cannot imagine being someone who knew Greg when they were younger, or even dated him, and finding that he was like this (and was probably stalking you online too)
The fact Greg frantically switches between "Im a big strong manly man who knows no weakness. Trauma is for pussies" and "I was such a victim since birth, all i've known is hardship please pity me" so frequently is as entertaining as its worrying.
His children are in for the rude awakening of their lives when they grow up and learn what he has done
Text book abuser behavior
i’m upset that he has children, i didn’t know much about him until this video. as much as it sucks to accuse someone of something they haven’t done / may never do, i worry for them slightly, based on what other teenagers have had to deal with because of him.
I believe this is narcissism
@@ameliadziedzic2002 Dude one of his kids fell from a window, cracked her head open, and then had to crawl to the window and pound on it to get his attention. When she was in the hospital, he was making horny tweets. It's all kinds of messed up
@@annaxxxx99 I thought the same thing. Never seen any other explanation for the willingness/Need to invent an entirely new reality to fit whatever narrative strokes your ego in the moment.
If Greg offered to kiss me I’d turn immediately straight too.
I'm horrified at the 176 onion appreciators that disliked the video. I love listening to you disect the onions crap writing. What a nice throwback
The irony of onion to name his AUTOBIOGRAPHY after a fucking Chris Hansen documentary ABOUT HIM BEING A PREDATOR is absolutely gold
It's… *almost* clever. Like if he still had his peak level of internet clout it would have been clever. But he doesn't, so it isn't.
Onion boy pulled a "Disney frozen'
@@irradiated_woman8016 bro ong first thing i thought of when i saw it lmao
This heavily reminds me of infamous anti-vax quack Andrew Wakefield who named his book (which he repeatedly shilled when asked questions about the allegations of fabricating a gut-related cause for autism and causing pretty much all anti-vax fear present today, instead of actually answering the questions) "Callous Disregard" after the main article exposing him.
@@irradiated_woman8016 wait what happened?
no greater insult than flashing onision's age on the screen whenever he gets too in depth about a childhood relationship
I genuinely feel bad for this dude about the abuse he probably suffered but also hate everything about all of the actions he takes after that.
If nothing else, Onion has taught me that narcissism is a hell of a drug.
no one made him admit he was a baby with a freakishly huge head, he just went ahead and put that out into the world
Deadass just snitched on himself😂😂
Straight up just hydrocephalus, I guess??
He just wants everyone to know how totally big brained and enlightened he is. This is a joke but I'm also 100% sure he said that because he thinks that having a large head made him smarter
I mean his content is all embarrassing, might as well admit he was born an alien
It's not even funny cause, not to pioneer a new form of discrimination or anything, but I've met multiple men who were born with abnormally large heads and every one of them was Like That.
(One example was a kind of omnipresent figure in my high school who had his group of friends convinced that he was a vampire, werewolf, and a fallen angel simultaneously- which, on it's own, ok pfft but whatever, until I met his little sister who he was constantly abusive toward, and he had all his friends regularly harassing her too for not playing along with the vampire/werewolf/fallen angel stuff.)
Greg is the patient zero of peaking in high-school. So much so that he only ever talks about school and how cool he was. He's like an old man trying to convince his grandchildren that he was super hip and badass. He's really intimidating and is the most alpha male whilst simultaneously being above social labels. He wants you to know he was cool but that he's so cool he doesn't even care that he's cool. Like "yeah I was like super strong in school, all the other kids were scared of me but it's like whatever I don't even care".
I feel like that's understating it. Based on this book I must assume that he peaked in primary school
@@amitthehuman he peaked the day he was born and has gotten progressively worse since
Did he even peak in high school though? It sounds like he was probably a tryhard edgelord everyone else bullied.
His school days are the only time of his life that isn't heavily documented online. The easiest part of his life to lie about
@@SaiScribbles this is 100% case
If your partner stays a bad kisser then you're probably a bad teacher, also this reads like the 'I get the last word' message a neckbeard sends you before he blocks you. Each "*laughs*" killed me
It's kinda fascinating to hear these real life stories and then recall him inserting these scenes into the books, especially Reaper's Creak. Greg really did put a lot of himself into his books, which... was a choice
The fact that he put a Chad-ified version of himself on the cover is just…incredible.
😭 I didn't realize that was actually the cover, oh my god
Part two of his autobiography featuring him and his chadsona fighting god but he claims it’s a true story this time? We already got the alien hybrid story…
@@residentbogwitch HIS CHADSONA1l:>!!jUYHGLJK!?>!rH FOW3LMK./1/?!??!?!/!
is that the actual cover???? oh my god 😭😭😭😭 I thought it was a joke 😭
It's also AI-generated. Make that what you will.
It's really interesting that he references all of these childhood girlfriends and relationships in his books but never references his wife
He’s not legally allowed to do that may be why
Yeah, I've read that he and his partner legally got separated within the past year; although, I don't know, this might just be an attempt to get people to talk about him. 🤷♀️
@@ochuspinthey're both predators I'd love to see them both in jail.
@@elliewellie_TH-cam I must’ve been thinking of his former wife then
Wasn't she a mentally disabled woman he basically kidnapped? Or was that a different MRA scumbag's wife?
41:12 I *just* realized Casper is a great name for a cat because Cats Purr.
"Thats what helps against school shooters. Having a girlfriend."
_You dont need a girlfriend_
_You just need a therapist_
_Youve got too much drama_
_Im not qualified to fix_
- Therapist by Mae Muller
onion boy expects us to take him seriously when he unironically types "*laughs*" in his book