From reading the title, i will say this, nobody deserves to be bullied for having adhd, autism ect Nobody. You can be the weirdest kid in the world and you still didn't deserve any of it.
Yep I thought that too but there us so much about mental health where we say there is something wrong with the victim of bullying but the bully's are mentally healthy??
I completely agree, but as a neurodivergent kid who was bullied (yes, I have ADHD, Autism Spectrum, OCD, and Tics), one thing I have to remind myself is that I was being bullied by CHILDREN who genuinely didn't know any better. Heck, even some of the adults who bullied me didn't know any better and thought that bullying me was the way to help socialize me and give me a better life. I didn't deserve any of it, and bullying me certainly didn't socialize me or give me a better life, and I am allowed to have compassion for myself in all of that, but sometimes it is good to recognize the intentions they had behind it. For the children themselves, I read the book Queen Bees and Wannabees, and it was extremely therapeutic for me. Truth be told, almost everyone in childhood is being directly or indirectly bullied in some way. I was obviously "the target" described in that book. But it was extremely cathartic to realize a lot of kids bullied me because they were terrified of the very real possibility of being the next target if they didn't participate. Or if they didn't participate, "the Banker" might tell the world all of their deepest darkest secrets. I could go on, but as a kid I assumed I was this weird kid that couldn't have close friends and that everyone else did fit in and had good relationships. Now I know most of those relationships weren't real and were EXTREMELY toxic. While what happens to us can cause us trauma, I have learned that what we do causes worse trauma. How must the kid who was bullied into bullying me have felt afterwards? As bad as I felt, I bet that kid felt even worse. And although I may not have had a ton of friends, on those rare occasions in my life when I have found a friend those friendships have always been real and incredible. So the truth is knowing the reality as the victim of bullying I bizarrely am probably the person who had the best experience of everyone. Plus, since no matter how hard I tried to fit in I couldn't do it, I had an excuse very early on to just be who I am. They had to wait decades to learn that same lesson, and many of them still haven't learned that lesson. So I guess my comment is as a kid if you were a victim of bullying you didn't deserve any of it, but if you want to heal from it the true healing comes from having compassion for yourself rather than focusing on worrying about the other kids getting karma. The kids at the top of the chain probably deserve karma, but I wasn't dialed in enough to even know who that was anyway. The rest of the kids have probably already suffered plenty themselves, and perhaps need a certain amount of compassion as well if they are willing to change their ways and feel sorry for what they did back then. And many of them are sorry even if you don't know it.
Listening to this was so theraputic and helped me so much. I was diagnosed at 6 years old, all they did was give me meds and send my family on their way. Not only did I not have any coping mechanisms or support the meds made me lethargic and depressed which constantly left me feeling like maybe death would be easier than living like a zombie. I'm 36 now and I do my best to manage without meds while being afraid to try therapy and also raising an AuDHD son on my own. Listening to this helped in a way I didn't know I needed.
Your AuDHD son is lucky to have such a wise mom. I'm a 42½ half-diagnosed AuDHDer (the ADHD half was diagnosed in 1990 as "ADD"). I sincerely hope that significant progress has been achieved in the effort to help neuroatypical children, because I had spent my childhood being blamed for failing to succeed at impossible demanded of me by adults whose cruel behaviors towards me had been motivated by various proportions of bullying, ignorance, intolerance of difference or disability, stigma towards the neurodiverse, & spite directed in response to my refusal to tolerate their attempts at my infantilization. Throughout all those miserable years of K-12, I yearned to become an adult who would be able to advocate for all the children who are continuing to be mistreated, but find all of their objections, pleas, & desperate crys for help to fall on deaf, uncaring ears, who would rather make up lies to mislead their parents into dismissing what their own child is trying to communicate, rather than make even the tinyest single accommodation for them, by telling the educators my story, and the future kids have extreme good fortune to experience improvements that will eliminate many of the most debilitating hurdles that continue to keep any level of success out of their reach, despite their natural talents, their subject-specific aptitude, their hard work, their thorough understanding of the subject-matter, because I have now authored an original guidebook, & companion website, compiled from the 13 years of written records of a long list of my insights about what changes are needed. I thought that when I was an adult that I would be able to communicate to adults for those children who couldn't, but unfortunately now that I have spent a decade researching educational theory, & founded a charitable nonprofit organization to develop my plans for open source metacognitive augmentation educational technologies, it turns out that I still get infantalized, & I still get ignored.
I have cried virtually all the way through this ... Kat describes the consequences of living with ADD ,almost a mirror of my own life & experiences... still totally dire with money ... awaiting my assessment at 59 years young 😊
I've spent my whole life trying to be something that everyone else seems to be with such ease. The Internet is voice and connection and the best is yet to come. 55 and I was 49 when finally diagnosed. Finally, so much makes sense 🫶🙏🫶
Awaiting full nhs assessment here too I’m 54 It’s taking ages tho told might be years ! Advised to check choose & book but must check as it’s been 8 m already x
Loved the 'trigger stacking' share....... I talk about 'multiple stressors' same thing different name. Also great title. Sooo envious your in your forties I was in my sixties before 'neuro diversity' became the obvious solution to my life long issues......... stop crying or I'll give you something to cry about, your too sensitive, bullying, depression, anxiety, binge eating, focused interests, money issues etc., etc., etc., Dont giove up guys
As a man with ADHD as well as OCD, Depression, and Anxiety, I feel it is my duty to help my ADHD sisters find themselves and get help. We are able to tune in to others with our condition, often, much like how the Mutants in X Men can find other Mutants. I think communality for us based on our brains in more important. To the point now that I would much prefer dating a woman with ADHD or Neurodivergent. NTs just don't get us, and now with the fact it's genetic makes it harder for us to mingle with NTs, as the stigma of our genes making Neurodivergent kids is a reality. Fiction mirrors reality, reality mirrors fiction. We have to stick with our ADHD tribe, and the broader Neurodivergent community. The gulf that exists between us and the NTs is immense. We just don't have the same brains, and we experience the world totally differently, for better or for worse. I think additionally Neurodivergent spaces (schools, bars, clubs, alliances/groups) are needed and while NTs are welcome, they will have to be happy with our space, similar to how ethnic or sexual minorities have their spaces. The world is geared for NTs and just like not everyone is White, or Male, or Christian, or Straight, or Western, not everyone is Neurotypical. In addition to that we need a political movement to push for more rights (careers, school, military enlistment), positive representation, inclusion, equality, awareness, and declare official minority status which would make us eligible for scholarships, affirmative action hiring, and a group that is different that can bring diversity to society, because we are different, we are NOT like NTs and while we may have to mask (medication, therapy) to fit into their society, we should stop pretending and fooling ourselves that we will ever be like them nor should we try, we are biologically different, and they will never ever understand us, many fear us, others feel sorry for us, so again might as well accept our identity as Neurodivergent and move on from trying to conform totally to NT world. You are a Salmon swimming upstream trying to fit into Normie world. You can mask when needed, but stop fooling yourselves, it's only their world because NTs breed more, and bred more as they descend from farmer brains, i.e. agricultural societies, and we descend from hunter gatherer brains more isolated and smaller in number. Although we have always been among them as we are in all societies, we will always be a minority.
I was bullied by other kids and criticised by adults my whole childhood. 1950s. Went rogue in my teens, mega impulsive, but no longer bullied. I know now it was adhd, but there was no understanding or help back then. Chaotic life. Recent diagnosis has helped me a lot to come to terms with it.
This is the second one I have watched today that has brought back so many memories of my childhood and adolescence into adulthood. I'm 53 and tomorrow is my assessment day. I feel like I have lost so much time. I hope tomorrow is a new beginning. I had no friends in primary school. Secondary school was traumatic I can't even go into the things that went on. But I escaped into books for years.
What happened? I had friends in elementary school and then lost them. All because I was nice and played with another girl that other kids wouldn't play with. Then they decided not to play with me either. I had no friends in junior high because it was all the same kids.
I enjoyed listening to this interview. This resonates 100%,. how ADHD is unveiled in us is quite a journey of navigating through life, without a compass. The struggle has been real. Thank you for sharing. ❤
Ok, so ADHDers need to do therapy to undo what living in a neurotypical-dominant has done to us (and what ableist neurotypicals even if well-meaning have “done to” us, such as micro-aggressions), heal the shaming from the past and grieve for decades in which we were misunderstood and misguided, then do (mostly) our own significant research into what ADHD is and what tools we can use, then keep up a continual analysis of what we’re experiencing in order to cope with ourselves. We are superheroes. I am still working on acceptance. These podcasts and books help. I wish myself and everyone grace and healing.
White dude diagnosed mid forties. Yeah, hugely resonate with everything you describe about your school experience, especially the dynamics around subtle behavioural rules and bullying. Thankyou
@@mattng4707 Tried concerta, and it was great mentally, but took me from normal blood pressure to stage 2 hypertension in a couple of weeks (an known potential side effect that only affects some people). Currently using Vyanese some of the time. It's great, but I'm between doctors at the moment, so using it sparingly (once a week) when I need to do admin and other work of that ilk that I struggle with otherwise. Whether meds end up being right for you or not, I'd highly recommend trying them if you are offered. Even to take a dose once and experience the wave of calm flooding over you, and to realise that that is how the majority of people experience the world, yeah, that's a perspective worth having...
@@JackBurtonsHaulageCo dealing with the ADHD, or dealing with the childhood trauma? For the former, i had a lot of coping mechanisms already which i've doubled down on. Stimulants can be really helpful if you can get some prescribed, especially for those low reward tasks that feel nigh on impossible. I found that understanding it, and thus my brain, better made acceptance and self care much easier. For the childhood trauma, find a therapist with a good understanding of both that and ADHD.
@jonathanscarletmusic I've been working on childhood trauma and cptsd for about 4 years. I'm stuck though I have an official diagnosis of Borderline personality disorder which I don't agree with. I have seen a private psychiatrist and a psychologist and both of them said I probably had ADHD but that I would need to wait for appointment that could take years. I can't afford to pay any more private doctors so for the time being I'm trying to help myself. I've been really struggling recently. I feel terrible and I am worried. Thanks for replying to me I appreciate it.
This had been one of the most helpful interviews on adhd I have ever heard. I have just been diagnosed in the last few months at age 44. I am so grateful I was able to find this! Thank you! I'll also be getting her book. ❤ did anyone else feel totally exposed when she mentioned binging on cake even when it's not someone's birthday? 😂
Love this video! There are many reasons why ADHD symptoms show up for so many people. As someone who has lived with ADHD all my life as well as being an ADHD therapist and a parent with ADHD children, I help people understand why we think, feel and behave the way we do. There is an answer! There are many more ways to treat ADHD other than being diagnosed and given medication. Other ways to help understand who you are and how to nurture those qualities. More importantly, there is nothing wrong with us! In fact no two people in the world are alike. We are all unique individuals and that is why my mission is to help people discover their unique gifts. Go discover your gifts!
When I was young, I was convinced me and my dad were aliens and that I would be picked up by the mothership once I turned 18😁🤣 I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was 40 years old
Diagnosis is only super beneficial if your points of view are understood, you are validated, reassured and therapies. Not simply medicated, and expected to heal on your own and step in line.
I'm 57 and have only last week talked to my family doctor about my ADHD. It's very tiring finding out all about it, but also interesting, and enlightening. And so much masking for so long I doubt I could stop. Love your videos.
Same with my last therapist in 2024 even after I had the official diagnosis. Why would I pay someone to gaslight me or push me around? We neurodivergents get this for free …
This top psychiatrist here,doesn't believe in medicating anything and he takes everyone off of drugs when they go to jail. He's being sued by at least 2 people. It's sick
And he said he feels like he is being persecuted. I googled him and read his interviews and he even said jail is for punishment, they should boring back chain gangs. That's not what the whole goddamn justice system says, is it? They say rehabilitation. Not sure why he has the power to do things the way he feels is the right way evidence based medicine be damned. No studies , no anything except what he says he thinks is right. Dr. Craig. Newfoundlands amazing top psychiatrist. Poor persecuted man. What an embarrassment to this province to have a psycho like that in charge of anything
All my life I have felt a little out of place, different, that feeling that something is wrong with me. Tried to fit in and often failed. Over the years I learned to pretend better. And only recently I began to understand the reason for this. And that's ADHD. TY this channel too.
Just bought "it's not a bloody trend" book, can't wait for it to arrive so I can get stuck in, thank you Kat. Kat has coined my favourite new definition of what ADHD feels like "a defective avatar in a meat suit", love it!
Thank you so very much for bringing Kat Brown to your platform! In your brief interview (I say this because I would have loved your dialogue to continue for several more hours) SO MUCH landed for me. What's most surprising (having lived with the diagnosis for almost 20 years now)... I had revelations today, that never connected my thoughts & experiences more powerfully. Much success & love to you both, with gratitude ❤
This is where the thought is flawed: "Somebody's got to be the butt of the joke. Bullies were very funny." The best sense of humour doesn't laugh at the expense of anyone. Laughing at someone especially someone who is already disempowered by society or the group is not funny at all
No " the thought is not flawed " Get out of the pit of self punishment 'her' thought isn't flawed tbh..not at all... She isn't speaking from anybody else.. you are actually criticising her for a reason to find fault in something you can't accept She found a truth in what someone else was overwhelmed to point out about her. She found the truth and therefore the honest humour Yes I'm 6 foot tall And I'm orange 😂 In front of other people Big deal . We all will come across this kind of behaviour from other people at some point so just get ready for it to happen... And for some reason you think everyone suddenly shall be nice and kind every day all of the time 😂 They are not going to do that for you or anybody ❤ And if you don't want to learn about yourself If you need to remember your worst feeling instead of the best OR just both accounts and let the balance account for itself ❤ Like if you need every thing to depend on you remaining as a victim then don't get over it , OR get over it and work through it and realise that an element of truth is what hurts in the first place. If someone says an untrue about you.. No need to even take this to heart ... Don't carry shit around with you It's called baggage Excess baggage Boo hoo someone was mean to me today.... Well yeh that's gonna happen A LOT so get to work with it ... Please realise that we don't have to live in tragic state of hurt for all the rest of our life Move on..❤.. Move on..... Brianna ❤ Listen to the whole of this talk and take this talent of balance..to heart Okay .. And any the merest of criticism... especially if was spoken more than one week ago ❤ IS just gone as soon as words are in the air As long as you don't carry them around in your baggage ❤ Listen again and get ready to hear something you really need to learn Something worth remembering ❤🎉😮 That can change your day.
I think she was acknowledging this less-mentioned aspect of bullying, about the way it works, but not meaning to validate it. Agree that no bullying is ok.
I was diagnosed at 9. I was mercilessly Bullied From my very First day at 7 years old/ grade 1 though to when I left regardless of myage ,year even schools in two different countries and even at times had kids younger than me picking on me. In Adulthood the nefarious have either been drawn to me as they saw me as easily manipulated and was a perfect victim they could use abuse and break, or They have despised me on sight and we're very Open and braisen in their distain of my entire existence and took great glee in using and steeling from me at every opportunity and I would be threated with violence should I even Dare say anything to anyone about them that was slightly negative. I am 37 and have just been diagnosed with EDS which has taken my homebody tendencies into Full on Hermit have a Very small social circle and struggle to be out and about for any length of time and suffer more pain the longer I am out. The thought of meeting New people or making new friends fills me with absolute dread not to mention the thought of dating and finding a partner makes me wanna be sick and most certainly a massive meltdow and shut down that's near on catatonic.
Fantastic interview. This has helped me way more than Prof. Philip Asherson ever did. I could not connect with him at all. In contrast, I connected with so much of this.
Sorry but is it wrong that I have no wish to resume contact with certain people who picked on me at school - I remember them as idiotic and mean and bad memories are all I have of them. If I come across people I had occasional run ins with then that's fine and we've all grown up (maybe that's just who she means) although I don't feel a need to go out of my way to add them to my life either. I've had someone like that contact me on facebook - but they don't live anywhere nearby and I don't know them or anyone they are friends with and probably will never meet them - I don't really want them to be looking at my photos and life updates I show to people who are part of my life now. The ones I have good memories of I include. But the ones who really negatively effected you - when you leave school you are no longer trapped with these people why would you want to see them again?! Maybe they've changed maybe they are a grown up version of an arrogant ass**** - you don't owe anything to them.
Exactly. In other words: who wants to have contact with uninteresting and/or bad people? That would be such a dumb thing to do. Most people are just irrelevant to me.
I was 30 when I was diagnosed. When I was in school, I was labeled a dumb kid. I didn't believe that but I knew I was different. It didn't seem as hard for everyone else to get through life. Like, how can they just get up and go to school every morning? I remember sitting at my high school comensment ceremony for high school graduation and listening to the Valedictorian talking about how hard he worked to get a 98% average on the highest level of math you can take. I was so angry. I'm not saying he didn't work hard, he did. But it wasn't hard from him to work hard. It took every ounce of energy I had to get through the day. By the end of the day, I was done. I couldn't go home and do 3 hrs of homework. So I sailed through high school. Took lower level courses so I wouldn't have to do any work because I just didn't have anything left.
Mum said as a baby I was "just like your sister Leeanne but MORE EXPRESSIONATE. Coined a word Called recent handing her details for a mental health check to look into her coz I'm free now to not be her keeper... Being born with Non A non B hep could adjust reality with lower spine funk affecting brain chemicals. Absent seizures.. Epilium helped me go running really fast.
Amazing - i truly needed to hear this…… diagnosed age 47, but i need to know how have you organised your shelves ….??? ive reorganised and reorganised……cant get it right!
lol the Apple Watch. Impulsively payed off my phone contract to get a new phone and contract. Kept the old phone and was offered a watch. He he. Got declined for credit but baught it anyways. I didn’t go for one. Had the money forfeit and baught it regardless.
There was a male bias for a long time in both autism and adhd research and guess what I have dual diagnosis along with complex mathematics disabilities
I had no idea until i was 30...and ive studied paychology...go figure...i couldnt see it in myself, i just thought all my shortcomings were simply "my personality" and conscious decisions etc etc....
At 16:53 - 'female-identifying people' is a non-sensical term. Sex is a material reality, not a psychological identity, and when talking about the differences in ADHD in boys vs girls, sex, and not nebulous 'identity', is what's relevant. That a man identifies as female doesn't make him female. He's still male.
By doing trauma therapy and start telling them that you don’t trust them. Bring into contact what you fear and disbelief. Work with someone who focuses on attachment trauma and body based is good.
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From reading the title, i will say this, nobody deserves to be bullied for having adhd, autism ect
Nobody.
You can be the weirdest kid in the world and you still didn't deserve any of it.
Exactly I bullied for most of my life in school and the workforce for being neurodivergent hence I don’t work
Yep I thought that too but there us so much about mental health where we say there is something wrong with the victim of bullying but the bully's are mentally healthy??
I completely agree, but as a neurodivergent kid who was bullied (yes, I have ADHD, Autism Spectrum, OCD, and Tics), one thing I have to remind myself is that I was being bullied by CHILDREN who genuinely didn't know any better. Heck, even some of the adults who bullied me didn't know any better and thought that bullying me was the way to help socialize me and give me a better life. I didn't deserve any of it, and bullying me certainly didn't socialize me or give me a better life, and I am allowed to have compassion for myself in all of that, but sometimes it is good to recognize the intentions they had behind it.
For the children themselves, I read the book Queen Bees and Wannabees, and it was extremely therapeutic for me. Truth be told, almost everyone in childhood is being directly or indirectly bullied in some way. I was obviously "the target" described in that book. But it was extremely cathartic to realize a lot of kids bullied me because they were terrified of the very real possibility of being the next target if they didn't participate. Or if they didn't participate, "the Banker" might tell the world all of their deepest darkest secrets. I could go on, but as a kid I assumed I was this weird kid that couldn't have close friends and that everyone else did fit in and had good relationships. Now I know most of those relationships weren't real and were EXTREMELY toxic. While what happens to us can cause us trauma, I have learned that what we do causes worse trauma. How must the kid who was bullied into bullying me have felt afterwards? As bad as I felt, I bet that kid felt even worse. And although I may not have had a ton of friends, on those rare occasions in my life when I have found a friend those friendships have always been real and incredible. So the truth is knowing the reality as the victim of bullying I bizarrely am probably the person who had the best experience of everyone. Plus, since no matter how hard I tried to fit in I couldn't do it, I had an excuse very early on to just be who I am. They had to wait decades to learn that same lesson, and many of them still haven't learned that lesson.
So I guess my comment is as a kid if you were a victim of bullying you didn't deserve any of it, but if you want to heal from it the true healing comes from having compassion for yourself rather than focusing on worrying about the other kids getting karma. The kids at the top of the chain probably deserve karma, but I wasn't dialed in enough to even know who that was anyway. The rest of the kids have probably already suffered plenty themselves, and perhaps need a certain amount of compassion as well if they are willing to change their ways and feel sorry for what they did back then. And many of them are sorry even if you don't know it.
Listening to this was so theraputic and helped me so much. I was diagnosed at 6 years old, all they did was give me meds and send my family on their way. Not only did I not have any coping mechanisms or support the meds made me lethargic and depressed which constantly left me feeling like maybe death would be easier than living like a zombie. I'm 36 now and I do my best to manage without meds while being afraid to try therapy and also raising an AuDHD son on my own. Listening to this helped in a way I didn't know I needed.
Your AuDHD son is lucky to have such a wise mom.
I'm a 42½ half-diagnosed AuDHDer (the ADHD half was diagnosed in 1990 as "ADD").
I sincerely hope that significant progress has been achieved in the effort to help neuroatypical children, because I had spent my childhood being blamed for failing to succeed at impossible demanded of me by adults whose cruel behaviors towards me had been motivated by various proportions of bullying, ignorance, intolerance of difference or disability, stigma towards the neurodiverse, & spite directed in response to my refusal to tolerate their attempts at my infantilization.
Throughout all those miserable years of K-12, I yearned to become an adult who would be able to advocate for all the children who are continuing to be mistreated, but find all of their objections, pleas, & desperate crys for help to fall on deaf, uncaring ears, who would rather make up lies to mislead their parents into dismissing what their own child is trying to communicate, rather than make even the tinyest single accommodation for them, by telling the educators my story, and the future kids have extreme good fortune to experience improvements that will eliminate many of the most debilitating hurdles that continue to keep any level of success out of their reach, despite their natural talents, their subject-specific aptitude, their hard work, their thorough understanding of the subject-matter, because I have now authored an original guidebook, & companion website, compiled from the 13 years of written records of a long list of my insights about what changes are needed. I thought that when I was an adult that I would be able to communicate to adults for those children who couldn't, but unfortunately now that I have spent a decade researching educational theory, & founded a charitable nonprofit organization to develop my plans for open source metacognitive augmentation educational technologies, it turns out that I still get infantalized, & I still get ignored.
perhaps you will have success with books from dr.amen. he is a psychiatrist from the us that has done decades of research. \success to you.
I had to diagnose myself at 59 and tell my doctor. I asked if there was anything to help me like coping strategies and he said no. What are you doing?
I just had my clinical diagnosis at the ripe old age of 53. What now?
Try adderall
I have cried virtually all the way through this ... Kat describes the consequences of living with ADD ,almost a mirror of my own life & experiences... still totally dire with money ... awaiting my assessment at 59 years young 😊
You're not alone ❤ Exciting you're getting assessed. Best wishes!!!
Diagnosed at 57 here. It's quite the journey isnt it? Thinking of you 💜
I've spent my whole life trying to be something that everyone else seems to be with such ease. The Internet is voice and connection and the best is yet to come. 55 and I was 49 when finally diagnosed. Finally, so much makes sense 🫶🙏🫶
@@jenA9026 Same for me. Diagnosed aged 57. Just 6 months ago now.
Awaiting full nhs assessment here too I’m 54
It’s taking ages tho told might be years ! Advised to check choose & book but must check as it’s been 8 m already x
Loved the 'trigger stacking' share....... I talk about 'multiple stressors' same thing different name. Also great title.
Sooo envious your in your forties I was in my sixties before 'neuro diversity' became the obvious solution to my life long issues......... stop crying or I'll give you something to cry about, your too sensitive, bullying, depression, anxiety, binge eating, focused interests, money issues etc., etc., etc.,
Dont giove up guys
I was recently diagnosed at 32 and still coming to terms with it. This really helped
What a mind duck. I'm finding out at 37.
This resonates hugely: “Whenever you try and behave like yourself… people will call you sensitive, weird or sad…”
The Golden Triangle of ADHD treatment was FASCINATING!
Yes!! I didn't find out about my ADHD until my daughter went through it, and she has it.
36:33 This is so right. People have no clue how nervewrecking it is.
As a man with ADHD as well as OCD, Depression, and Anxiety, I feel it is my duty to help my ADHD sisters find themselves and get help. We are able to tune in to others with our condition, often, much like how the Mutants in X Men can find other Mutants. I think communality for us based on our brains in more important. To the point now that I would much prefer dating a woman with ADHD or Neurodivergent. NTs just don't get us, and now with the fact it's genetic makes it harder for us to mingle with NTs, as the stigma of our genes making Neurodivergent kids is a reality. Fiction mirrors reality, reality mirrors fiction. We have to stick with our ADHD tribe, and the broader Neurodivergent community. The gulf that exists between us and the NTs is immense. We just don't have the same brains, and we experience the world totally differently, for better or for worse. I think additionally Neurodivergent spaces (schools, bars, clubs, alliances/groups) are needed and while NTs are welcome, they will have to be happy with our space, similar to how ethnic or sexual minorities have their spaces. The world is geared for NTs and just like not everyone is White, or Male, or Christian, or Straight, or Western, not everyone is Neurotypical. In addition to that we need a political movement to push for more rights (careers, school, military enlistment), positive representation, inclusion, equality, awareness, and declare official minority status which would make us eligible for scholarships, affirmative action hiring, and a group that is different that can bring diversity to society, because we are different, we are NOT like NTs and while we may have to mask (medication, therapy) to fit into their society, we should stop pretending and fooling ourselves that we will ever be like them nor should we try, we are biologically different, and they will never ever understand us, many fear us, others feel sorry for us, so again might as well accept our identity as Neurodivergent and move on from trying to conform totally to NT world. You are a Salmon swimming upstream trying to fit into Normie world. You can mask when needed, but stop fooling yourselves, it's only their world because NTs breed more, and bred more as they descend from farmer brains, i.e. agricultural societies, and we descend from hunter gatherer brains more isolated and smaller in number. Although we have always been among them as we are in all societies, we will always be a minority.
Such an eloquent, profound way of describing the ADD experience. I saw so much of my own life in her words. Powerful.!
I was bullied by other kids and criticised by adults my whole childhood. 1950s. Went rogue in my teens, mega impulsive, but no longer bullied. I know now it was adhd, but there was no understanding or help back then. Chaotic life. Recent diagnosis has helped me a lot to come to terms with it.
This is the second one I have watched today that has brought back so many memories of my childhood and adolescence into adulthood. I'm 53 and tomorrow is my assessment day. I feel like I have lost so much time. I hope tomorrow is a new beginning. I had no friends in primary school. Secondary school was traumatic I can't even go into the things that went on. But I escaped into books for years.
What happened? I had friends in elementary school and then lost them. All because I was nice and played with another girl that other kids wouldn't play with. Then they decided not to play with me either. I had no friends in junior high because it was all the same kids.
I enjoyed listening to this interview. This resonates 100%,. how ADHD is unveiled in us is quite a journey of navigating through life, without a compass. The struggle has been real. Thank you for sharing. ❤
Ok, so ADHDers need to do therapy to undo what living in a neurotypical-dominant has done to us (and what ableist neurotypicals even if well-meaning have “done to” us, such as micro-aggressions), heal the shaming from the past and grieve for decades in which we were misunderstood and misguided, then do (mostly) our own significant research into what ADHD is and what tools we can use, then keep up a continual analysis of what we’re experiencing in order to cope with ourselves.
We are superheroes.
I am still working on acceptance.
These podcasts and books help.
I wish myself and everyone grace and healing.
Me too got my proper dual diagnosis of Asperger’s and combined ADHD only last year at age 42
Relieved and feelings of grief, yes
Kat’s honesty is so encouraging . Identified with so much of this ❤
White dude diagnosed mid forties. Yeah, hugely resonate with everything you describe about your school experience, especially the dynamics around subtle behavioural rules and bullying. Thankyou
Yellow dude almost mid 40s but getting diagnosed hopefully soon waiting ..Ps are you on meds ..did they help you
@@mattng4707 Tried concerta, and it was great mentally, but took me from normal blood pressure to stage 2 hypertension in a couple of weeks (an known potential side effect that only affects some people). Currently using Vyanese some of the time. It's great, but I'm between doctors at the moment, so using it sparingly (once a week) when I need to do admin and other work of that ilk that I struggle with otherwise. Whether meds end up being right for you or not, I'd highly recommend trying them if you are offered. Even to take a dose once and experience the wave of calm flooding over you, and to realise that that is how the majority of people experience the world, yeah, that's a perspective worth having...
Do you mind telling me, have you found a way of managing it? I'm 45 and working on this
@@JackBurtonsHaulageCo dealing with the ADHD, or dealing with the childhood trauma? For the former, i had a lot of coping mechanisms already which i've doubled down on. Stimulants can be really helpful if you can get some prescribed, especially for those low reward tasks that feel nigh on impossible. I found that understanding it, and thus my brain, better made acceptance and self care much easier. For the childhood trauma, find a therapist with a good understanding of both that and ADHD.
@jonathanscarletmusic I've been working on childhood trauma and cptsd for about 4 years. I'm stuck though I have an official diagnosis of Borderline personality disorder which I don't agree with. I have seen a private psychiatrist and a psychologist and both of them said I probably had ADHD but that I would need to wait for appointment that could take years. I can't afford to pay any more private doctors so for the time being I'm trying to help myself. I've been really struggling recently. I feel terrible and I am worried.
Thanks for replying to me I appreciate it.
Oh I LOVE Kat Brown !! Her book is absolutely the best book on adhd I’ve read ❤
This had been one of the most helpful interviews on adhd I have ever heard. I have just been diagnosed in the last few months at age 44. I am so grateful I was able to find this! Thank you! I'll also be getting her book. ❤ did anyone else feel totally exposed when she mentioned binging on cake even when it's not someone's birthday? 😂
I love Kat and she makes so much sense. I appreciate how she explains everything. Thank you, Alex, for having her as a guest. 💖
I went sober and was exactly the same as you .. always loved black coffee but it really became an obsession after going sober …
Love this video!
There are many reasons why ADHD symptoms show up for so many people. As someone who has lived with ADHD all my life as well as being an ADHD therapist and a parent with ADHD children, I help people understand why we think, feel and behave the way we do. There is an answer!
There are many more ways to treat ADHD other than being diagnosed and given medication. Other ways to help understand who you are and how to nurture those qualities.
More importantly, there is nothing wrong with us! In fact no two people in the world are alike. We are all unique individuals and that is why my mission is to help people discover their unique gifts.
Go discover your gifts!
And thanks to Kat for sharing her story, it does make a difference to all of us watching.
When I was young, I was convinced me and my dad were aliens and that I would be picked up by the mothership once I turned 18😁🤣
I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was 40 years old
Cant wait to see you and you dad in the motherdhip 😊👍🌞blessings from Denmark.
Diagnosis is only super beneficial if your points of view are understood, you are validated, reassured and therapies.
Not simply medicated, and expected to heal on your own and step in line.
Fantastic interview as always Alex ! Kat is so calming to listen to and you always bring out the absolute best in your guests ❤
I'm 57 and have only last week talked to my family doctor about my ADHD. It's very tiring finding out all about it, but also interesting, and enlightening. And so much masking for so long I doubt I could stop. Love your videos.
The public hospital I sought mental help at "didn't believe" in adhd... this was in 2022.... in a western country
Same with my last therapist in 2024 even after I had the official diagnosis. Why would I pay someone to gaslight me or push me around? We neurodivergents get this for free …
This top psychiatrist here,doesn't believe in medicating anything and he takes everyone off of drugs when they go to jail. He's being sued by at least 2 people. It's sick
And he said he feels like he is being persecuted. I googled him and read his interviews and he even said jail is for punishment, they should boring back chain gangs. That's not what the whole goddamn justice system says, is it? They say rehabilitation. Not sure why he has the power to do things the way he feels is the right way evidence based medicine be damned. No studies , no anything except what he says he thinks is right. Dr. Craig. Newfoundlands amazing top psychiatrist. Poor persecuted man. What an embarrassment to this province to have a psycho like that in charge of anything
All my life I have felt a little out of place, different, that feeling that something is wrong with me. Tried to fit in and often failed. Over the years I learned to pretend better. And only recently I began to understand the reason for this. And that's ADHD. TY this channel too.
Just bought "it's not a bloody trend" book, can't wait for it to arrive so I can get stuck in, thank you Kat.
Kat has coined my favourite new definition of what ADHD feels like "a defective avatar in a meat suit", love it!
Defective avatar in a meat suit!! Thats the because description of ADHD ive ever heard, I love it!
Thank you. This was both illuminating and familiar. You’re really helping others with this podcast. ❤
This was fantastic. Kat articulates so well and is so impressive. Will definitely get her book
Thank you so very much for bringing Kat Brown to your platform! In your brief interview (I say this because I would have loved your dialogue to continue for several more hours) SO MUCH landed for me.
What's most surprising (having lived with the diagnosis for almost 20 years now)... I had revelations today, that never connected my thoughts & experiences more powerfully.
Much success & love to you both, with gratitude ❤
This is where the thought is flawed: "Somebody's got to be the butt of the joke. Bullies were very funny." The best sense of humour doesn't laugh at the expense of anyone. Laughing at someone especially someone who is already disempowered by society or the group is not funny at all
No " the thought is not flawed "
Get out of the pit of self punishment
'her' thought isn't flawed tbh..not at all...
She isn't speaking from anybody else.. you are actually criticising her for a reason to find fault in something you can't accept
She found a truth in what someone else was overwhelmed to point out about her.
She found the truth and therefore the honest humour
Yes I'm 6 foot tall
And I'm orange 😂
In front of other people
Big deal .
We all will come across this kind of behaviour from other people at some point so just get ready for it to happen...
And for some reason you think everyone suddenly shall be nice and kind every day all of the time 😂
They are not going to do that for you or anybody ❤
And if you don't want to learn about yourself
If you need to remember your worst feeling instead of the best
OR just both accounts and let the balance account for itself ❤
Like if you need every thing to depend on you remaining as a victim then don't get over it ,
OR get over it and work through it and realise that an element of truth is what hurts in the first place.
If someone says an untrue about you..
No need to even take this to heart ...
Don't carry shit around with you
It's called baggage
Excess baggage
Boo hoo someone was mean to me today....
Well yeh that's gonna happen A LOT so get to work with it ...
Please realise that we don't have to live in tragic state of hurt for all the rest of our life
Move on..❤..
Move on..... Brianna ❤
Listen to the whole of this talk and take this talent of balance..to heart
Okay ..
And any the merest of criticism... especially if was spoken more than one week ago ❤
IS just gone as soon as words are in the air
As long as you don't carry them around in your baggage ❤
Listen again and get ready to hear something you really need to learn
Something worth remembering ❤🎉😮
That can change your day.
I think she was acknowledging this less-mentioned aspect of bullying, about the way it works, but not meaning to validate it. Agree that no bullying is ok.
As the butt of the joke most of the time, I agree. It’s not funny. I’m not laughing.
"Defective avatar in a meat suit" 😄 brilliant throwaway description - funny and sad in equal measure 👌
❤❤❤ Enjoyed this. Great chat. I instantly pictured a cartoon of a Brown Cat inside the covers of your books 😎
I thought this interview was wonderful and now I'm looking forward to reading Ms. Brown's books. So good!
I adore this podcast!
I was diagnosed at 9. I was mercilessly Bullied From my very First day at 7 years old/ grade 1 though to when I left regardless of myage ,year even schools in two different countries and even at times had kids younger than me picking on me. In Adulthood the nefarious have either been drawn to me as they saw me as easily manipulated and was a perfect victim they could use abuse and break, or They have despised me on sight and we're very Open and braisen in their distain of my entire existence and took great glee in using and steeling from me at every opportunity and I would be threated with violence should I even Dare say anything to anyone about them that was slightly negative. I am 37 and have just been diagnosed with EDS which has taken my homebody tendencies into Full on Hermit have a Very small social circle and struggle to be out and about for any length of time and suffer more pain the longer I am out. The thought of meeting New people or making new friends fills me with absolute dread not to mention the thought of dating and finding a partner makes me wanna be sick and most certainly a massive meltdow and shut down that's near on catatonic.
A Pizza Hut a Pizza Hut, Kentucky fried chicken and a Pizza Hut. Nice choice of song 🤪
I had never come across Kat Brown before. Her experiences are so similar to mine. I will order her book
Fantastic interview. This has helped me way more than Prof. Philip Asherson ever did. I could not connect with him at all. In contrast, I connected with so much of this.
Sorry but is it wrong that I have no wish to resume contact with certain people who picked on me at school - I remember them as idiotic and mean and bad memories are all I have of them. If I come across people I had occasional run ins with then that's fine and we've all grown up (maybe that's just who she means) although I don't feel a need to go out of my way to add them to my life either. I've had someone like that contact me on facebook - but they don't live anywhere nearby and I don't know them or anyone they are friends with and probably will never meet them - I don't really want them to be looking at my photos and life updates I show to people who are part of my life now. The ones I have good memories of I include. But the ones who really negatively effected you - when you leave school you are no longer trapped with these people why would you want to see them again?! Maybe they've changed maybe they are a grown up version of an arrogant ass**** - you don't owe anything to them.
Exactly. In other words: who wants to have contact with uninteresting and/or bad people? That would be such a dumb thing to do. Most people are just irrelevant to me.
Great podcast, thank you 🙏🏻
Thanks so much for doing this podcast Alex 🙏
I was 30 when I was diagnosed. When I was in school, I was labeled a dumb kid. I didn't believe that but I knew I was different. It didn't seem as hard for everyone else to get through life. Like, how can they just get up and go to school every morning? I remember sitting at my high school comensment ceremony for high school graduation and listening to the Valedictorian talking about how hard he worked to get a 98% average on the highest level of math you can take. I was so angry. I'm not saying he didn't work hard, he did. But it wasn't hard from him to work hard. It took every ounce of energy I had to get through the day. By the end of the day, I was done. I couldn't go home and do 3 hrs of homework. So I sailed through high school. Took lower level courses so I wouldn't have to do any work because I just didn't have anything left.
Mum said as a baby I was "just like your sister Leeanne but MORE EXPRESSIONATE.
Coined a word
Called recent handing her details for a mental health check to look into her coz I'm free now to not be her keeper...
Being born with Non A non B hep could adjust reality with lower spine funk affecting brain chemicals.
Absent seizures..
Epilium helped me go running really fast.
This is great. Lost focus midway I'll come back to it 😅
Excellent podcast Excellent guest
Great pod!
I love this show, I love the host, but I keep wondering:
Why are the host and guests not allowed fidget toys while chatting??
Hey, quite a few guests have had fidget toys, I love them too!
@@ADHD_Chatter_Podcast nice! What're your favorites?
Love the intros they really pull me in
Amazing - i truly needed to hear this…… diagnosed age 47, but i need to know how have you organised your shelves ….??? ive reorganised and reorganised……cant get it right!
Hii there are great videos on here to find a good organización system for ADHD, would You like me to share some links?
@@Atypicalkid88yes please 😊❤
@@Atypicalkid88 yes please
@@carlene2416 th-cam.com/video/xRGXi1aTh1w/w-d-xo.htmlsi=GLLzXsdm0CW9oXK9
@@sarahjaye4117 th-cam.com/video/xRGXi1aTh1w/w-d-xo.htmlsi=GLLzXsdm0CW9oXK9
lol the Apple Watch. Impulsively payed off my phone contract to get a new phone and contract. Kept the old phone and was offered a watch. He he. Got declined for credit but baught it anyways. I didn’t go for one. Had the money forfeit and baught it regardless.
About that hip replacement, Hypermobility is also linked to adhd!
No
@@DynAmisch69 yes
There was a male bias for a long time in both autism and adhd research and guess what I have dual diagnosis along with complex mathematics disabilities
I recommend everyone with depression and/or adhd trying lions mane
ADHD was not in my field of vision at all. Now I can’t believe how on target it is. My new therapist saw it.
My new therapist saw it too after 3 decades treatment for anxiety and depression.
I had no idea until i was 30...and ive studied paychology...go figure...i couldnt see it in myself, i just thought all my shortcomings were simply "my personality" and conscious decisions etc etc....
@@annipsy2185 that’s what they told me it was lol oh your just this or that 😂
At 16:53 - 'female-identifying people' is a non-sensical term. Sex is a material reality, not a psychological identity, and when talking about the differences in ADHD in boys vs girls, sex, and not nebulous 'identity', is what's relevant.
That a man identifies as female doesn't make him female. He's still male.
Why was she bullied? I don't want to watch for an hour and a half to find out. I thought it might show why I was bullied
❤
Holy ads Batman
Yes i heard about the left hand 👏 wtf was that about
Hypermobility ?!?
Yep, can you bend your thumb to your wrist? Neurodivergent trait
How can you trust therapist?!
By doing trauma therapy and start telling them that you don’t trust them. Bring into contact what you fear and disbelief. Work with someone who focuses on attachment trauma and body based is good.
Are they saying adhd is autism?
No both separate conditions and I have both
Different things but i think both considered on the "neurodivergent" spectrum.
Please research carnivore diet starting with Dr Ken Berry
Yes, 1G protein/lb of ideal body weight per day.
i hope u buy that extra tortured and non-regional cheap meat and don't eat plants!
@@ralf87100 I’m lucky to have a ranch that delivers grass fed/pasture raised meats to my area.
I stopped listening as soon as she said “female identifying people “ …. Someone explains to her that female and male are not identities ….
People dont have to 100% agree with your ideology for you to be able to listen and learn from them. I dont agree with it either.