I got diagnosed with ADHD years ago. I could remember several years ago after divorce with my husband which brought me into my disastrous journey on Alcohol and cigarettes. I suffered severe depression and mental disorder. Got diagnosed with ADHD. Not until a friend recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment saved my life honestly. 8 years totally clean. Much respect to mother nature the great magic shrooms.
I love hearing great life changing stories like this. I want to become a mycologist because honestly mushrooms are the best form of medicine (most especially the psychedelic ones) There are so many people today used magic mushrooms to ween off of SSRI medication- its amazing! Years back i wrote an entire essay about psychedelics. they saved you from death buddy, lets be honest here.
Hey mates! Can you help with the source? I suffer severe anxiety, panic and depression and I usually take prescription medicine, but they don't always help. Where can I find those psilocybin mushrooms? I'm really interested in treating my mental health without Rxs. I live in Australia don't know much about these. I'm so glad they helped you. I can't wait to get them too. Really need a reliable source 🙏
I'm so very happy for you mate, Psilocybin is absolutely amazing, the way it shows you things, the way it teaches you things. I can not believe our world and our people shows less interest about it's helpfulness to humanity. It's love. The mushrooms heals people by showing the truth, it would be so beneficial for so many people, especially politicians and the rich who have lost their way and every other persons out there.
It made me sad that kate’s final words were “thanks for putting up with me”. 😢 Kate! You need to know how affirming and vital this interview was. I felt validated and very seen. Thank you so much. There’s a lot of grief that comes with the post-diagnosis re-running of your life. It’s very hard. Sending you much love and heartfelt thanks for your honesty ❤
I agree. Sad sign off. I often say the same thing. As another late diagnosed woman, heartfelt wishes to Kate for the journey ahead accepting the diagnosis and working with it ❤ thank you for your honesty and sharing
@@ElliotHaganOfficial it's associated currently with the extreme amount of outside negative talk, and then the internal talk that tends to be as awful as the external comments. It's very hard to turn those comments off. ❤
I think this woman just explained my life. So painful to have it reiterated and hear it back to me. Her life is so relatable. She articulates it well.😢
yeh, i started out thnking ''but she's successful'' but then, the description of watching other colleagues racing past her all the time........... yup, whether you're working in an office as a clerical officer or writing articles or acting................ you still have to watch other people over take you. it always hurts.
The best thing I've found for my autism, adhd and bipolar type 1 is a ketogenic diet. Been eating this way now for a full year and it's life changing. I'm a self employed artist and now I can focus at my work for 14 hours a day, pretty much 7 days a week. Before keto I'd maybe work 4 hours a day and get distracted by everything and anything. If I increase carbohydrates then all my symptoms come back, on keto with under 50g carbs in my diet per day I am amazingly focused and have no intrusive thoughts, no brain chatter, no stimming etc.
Im 53 and can totally relate to Kate, I have struggled all my life. Due to watching one of your shorts Alex I did the preliminary ADHD test and its the first test ive ever Aced Ive wrecked every relationship and friendship ive ever had, cant hold a job down I live alone and have very few friends and self medicating is all i have until getting a full diagnosed. im doing everything i can to get on top of this but its a 3 year waiting list to be fully diagnosed.... Thank you for atleast helping me start to understand myself..... I need to get the Monkey out and Tortoise in that would be bliss
Thanks for sharing this. It's not easy and you should remind yourself that a lot of the crap isn't your fault. I'm grateful to have you here in the community! Alex
Same 53 just been diagnosed but now have to wait for triation. For months. I'm still broken. I'm not getting any advice except from these types of videos.
I am 70 and was diagnosed with ADHD a year ago. My fraternal twin does not have it. My father was upset over my poor marks and laziness. Sixty-nine years of beating myself up as a failure. Meds now help quiet my over-critical mind, and anxiety. I am happy (and envious) when people discover early in life that they have ADHD. The men in my family are on the autism scale, but can function quite well in their own field. Thank you for this interesting interview.
@@ME_Privato because deeply understanding how ADHD has impacted your entire life takes a long time as you start to pick away at surface level things, and then undercover deeper aspects of your life that have been influenced by it. There’s a lot of a-ha moments and for me even four years later these moments continue.
@@0ut0fafricaa now I understand what you mean. I'm very curious to see how it's going to be for me: I got my diagnostic of first level last November, but I didn't mind of it at first, since I didn't know what it really was. I realized that it was something kind of huge only in April and since then I started to dig deep in it. I had already many "ah ah" moments ☺️ The most impacting was realizing how not diagnosed adhd must have caused my depression since I was 17. And I'm 50. It was an overwhelming discover!
I hope that Kate eventually comes to realize that fellow NDs are better resources than 99% of the medical community. When you’re apart of a minority - you realize how vital community is and how far we’ve gotten away from it. ♥️
My experience of way too many doctors leaves me feeling they are hyped up idiots. Finding one who is good at their job is bloody hard. I live in Ireland though where most people who are good at what they do leave
I was diagnosed with ADD when I was 38. I'm 68 now. I tried the ADD medications but had to stop because they made me dull minded. I think a better term then procrastination, for me anyway, is contemplation. I need the time to think and digest the task at hand. Either because I am overwhelmed by it or because somewhere in my brain I am at complete odds with the task itself.
46:30 without ADHD: thirst -> want water --> where is the water? -> kitchen -> glass -> water -> close the tap -> drink -> ah! much better! -> back to work. with ADHD: thirst -> damn thirst -> why thirst? -> Oh, of course because of dehydration, perspiration, liquid-vapor balance, convection -> if it's windy, with this dry air, you evaporate faster -> by the way, what's the weather like now? -> I should write a program in C that can predict thirst based on my activity and air parameters? -> Or should I use another language instead? -> I don't have time to write this program now, but I'll have to make a note of it in the idea box -> Damn... I haven't yet written this comparative sheet on programming languages -> Ah, that's annoying, I'd just like to see the weather forecast but there are too many tabs open on my browser -> Never mind, what did I want again? -> Ah yes: drinking. -> Well, I'll just go to the kitchen and get myself a glass of water. -> Speaking of kitchen, isn't it already time to cook something? -> No it's not, but it won't be long now -> damn, there's just not enough time to do anything else before cooking -> if I cook a soup, it'll stop my thirst -> Where is this damned spoon ? -> but I can also drink water beforehand, in which case I'd rather not cook a soup -> When did I eat a soup last time? -> Oh yes, it was the great pumpkin soup. -> Oh dear, I've got to water the vegetable garden before it dies! -> let's get a hat so I don't get sunburns while watering the garden -> this coat should hang there -> those vegetables are vey lucky someone think for them -> If only they could think for me -> but I eat them ! -> not now -> soon -> they must hate me -> oh, the neighbor's cat is there. -> Aouch, what a headache. -> It must be the sun, especially as I haven't had a drink since yesterday. -> What is this cat doing? Hey! don't… oh… so you cat want to drink the water for the plants -> even cats are smarter than I am. Then the phone rings, your mother calls for news, you say you're thirsty, and she ask why you don't think about drinking water, and you say you do, and she ask why you don't drink then, and you resist the compulsion to tell her that it's because of her and because of the cat. This is how you forget your hat outside. (overly simplified version)
@@emjizone 😂😂😂at least boring, pointless tasks become SOOO much more interesting! Where would we have been without this everlasting entertaining brain?! Ah, yes, I forgot in the gutter....
Spot. On. And yet I still find myself thinking, “nah…*everyone * constantly thinks like the 2nd example. They just don’t want to be embarrassed so they say they think like the first example…right??.” Still trying to grasp that much of the world thinks in efficient, straight lines. I have no concept of what it’s like to think in a straight line rather than in a spiderweb diagram fashion. God, what it must be like for others to listen to me. Half the time, if they ask a question like “aren’t you thirsty?”, I regurgitate the entire novel of thoughts I had about water, because in my mind, they are ALL related, because I can draw a line from any seemingly random thought back to the water. Eh, at least it’s a strength in certain work roles, but man! Where’s the pause switch for this thing. It’s exhausting!
I can so relate. I’m late diagnosed at 50, officially in February. I had no idea that being shy and day dreamy was an ADHD thing. When young ADHD wasn’t really a thing. Especially not in the Hispanic culture. So many wrecked relationships, impulsive decisions, placed myself in so many dangerous situations. Years of thinking I was broken and believing that I was lazy and not good enough. I still struggle. I medicate off and on. More off than on because who can remember. There’s a lot of grieving the life I lived and the life I could have lived.
Omg - I can totally relate to EVERYTHING you just said! It wasn’t invented yet when I was a kid is a joke I make often, (but kind of true!) and didn’t get diagnosed till my 50’s as well .,,
@@daisychain914 I believe so. Knowledge is power. If you know and understand there’s a reason your brain works the way it does, there are systems you can put in place to protect, to guide, to encourage. Which is what I have now at 50. I’m learning, studying and testing different methods. I would understand hyperfocus, dopamine, time blindness, and how to do lists and body doubling is helpful. What life could I have lived? Well I’ll never know will I. Never had the opportunity.
@@jessinaespinal8206 yes I suppose we will never know. I have goldfish brain (inattentive) so even if I make a list I’ll likely forget I’ve made it anyway. Also looking at a list doesn’t mean I’ll have the motivation to do much on it. I have so many unfinished project books, notebooks, lists etc etc Knowing about adhd hasn’t helped me yet except bring me lots of ah ha moments and beat myself up a tiny bit less. Maybe there’s a book or system out there that can help me a bit more. I’m glad you’re finding things that help :)
@@daisychain914 OMG...I relate to your most lists. My house/life is covered with hundreds of them...and has been for years. I have more notes and lists in my house than furniture. 😢😮
Such intelligent rigour. Such strength. Such courage. Such integrity. Well done Kate. And yes this is what so many women with ADHD unrecognised have faced.
my ex and I had a relationship for 4 years, with a breakup at the 2 year mark, almost on the same day . I got my diagnosis before our 2 year anniversary but it wasn't enough to fix our problems. After therapy and treatment, we gave our relationship a second chance but at the 2 year mark, he broke up with me again because he couldn't deal with my ADHD. He expected me to change if I just tried and if I failed, it meant I didn't care enough about him. Now I found my ADHD tribe, people who won't judge me and understand what I'm experiencing. I related a lot to Kate's experience and how her environment treated her ADHD.
I want to know too! Where can I find an ADHD tribe? I’m thinking of starting an event, a meet and greet for ADHDers at a local coffee shop or something.
Wow, what a great interview. I finished watching, thinking this explains me better than I could ever do. From masking, to falling apart at uni, to disastrous relationships, to watching peers overtake my apparent inability to gain traction. I was formally diagnosed at 40, and went through a period of what I can best describe as grief. Grief for past decisions and grief for being so hard on myself for these past decisions. Some of these decisions have haunted me my entire adult life, drawing attention away from and obliterating memories of some great achievements. Thank you and Kate for providing a moment of clarity through the usual cacophony of contradictory thoughts.
No diagnosis but recognse your pathway, coming out as ADHD age 63, it really hits hard. Funny that I recognise all the stages of masking, coping and now starting to fall apart; I remember falling apart at 18 too but it didn't register with anyone- especially back then. Don't worry, I'll keep going. You too! ❤ Great vlog.
I'm having a ADHD moment!!! Diagnosed ar 48. Just hit one year this month. I got more out of this podcast than I have in a year of adhd group therapy. Fucking shook😢😮
Fantastic interview, so relatable. Low level alcohol/narcotics use, failure to ever really make money, compounding condition shifts such as menopause. Thankyou.
Oh, and crisps. I didn't know that was a thing, but yeah, that's defintely a thing. Interesting to know that it's the crunch that's at the heart of it. Unhealthy me will mainline a large sharing bag of crisps a day. Healthy me buys carrots and celery and makes hummus. Just never put it together before.
Thank you for this interview! I resonated with everything Kate said. Everything fell apart for me during college as well and I've spent my life wondering why I couldn't get it together and why I was successful but not as successful as I could be. I would blame myself. There's a lot of shame when you have ADHD. And the cocktail of menopause & ADHD is brutal.
Kate, you just described my life. I am 50. I had similar feelings post diagnosis at 45. I felt bereft for the person I could have been. Everyone around me in the corporate world seemed to climb the ladder and I was just stuck. I am constantly told to turn the volume down. I am not even shouting. It’s like trying to speak above the mind chatter, I guess.
I feel like a younger version of Kate, I was diagnosed at 29 (last year). And I see so much of what she is saying in my narrative. Thanks Kate for speaking so early on in your diagnosis. I don't feel like I can talk to anyone about it so it has been really beneficial hearing this.
I'm so sorry that Kate is having that pushback from her family. I'm only 9 months diagnosed and I'm 56. My mother, who is 84, has been very supportive and as we've both learned so much more about the condition, she's definitely recognised several of the traits in herself and although she has many fewer than me, we've both got closer due to understanding where many of our struggles when I was young came from
A huge thank you to Kate for sharing. I'm about 3 years post-diagnosis, not much younger than Kate, and I was on the verge of tears through most of the video because of how deeply relatable she is.
Kate you are awesome ❤❤❤ Thank you for being so honest! Everything you said I am going through as well. I am in my 40s and not diagnosed only diagnosed with anxiety disorder but I know I have ADD.
I so want to give you a hug and tell you it's going to be OK. When I got diagnosed last year it was such a hard adjustment and I felt like so many of the ways you're describing. A year on and if come to terms with the diagnosis and gotten closer to a place of acceptance. Those negative thought spirals have lessened and that chorus of self hating voices have finally quieted. I didn't even know it was possible. Please hold on. It will get better.
I’m 53 and am grappling with the grief and loss of years spent feeling like an abject failure. The negative looping internal dialogue was crippling. I agree that childhood trauma and ADHD is a clusterfuck. I am a survivor as we all are survivors, but man; so hard. I’ve carved a life for myself that is a good one. But letting go of my “potential”, being considered a “gifted” child, then diagnosed by an eminent psychotherapist as a “classic underachiever” to my parents who systematically called me lazy, a disappointment and eventually scapegoated. I am now estranged from my family, live alone and have difficult relationships with my adult daughters, one of which is on the spectrum. The fact that women historically were so underdiagnosed meant that I was completely blind to ND in my own family. Now I look at my family tree aghast at the amount of ND in it. I’ve become acutely aware of the symptoms that I live with every day. Lack of spacial awareness, the need for deadlines, the procrastination and self medication. My ADHD friend, who is brilliant but very troubled, says ADHD is a superpower….but he’s struggling with drug addiction and impulsive behaviour that keeps him trapped in a cycle he doesn’t seem to see. I’m now a painter, something I’ve tried to be all my life. Despite being told I was talented I was also told that I would never be able to make a living as a creative. I still don’t make a living but I’ve managed to own my home and work casually and paint. So maybe one day I can sell my art well and do more than just get by. Despite the procrastination, social anxiety and self doubt. I think we’ve all learnt to just keep on keeping on. I gave up drinking early this year and that’s helped me to make some changes. I still fall off the wagon occasionally but I’m no longer hating myself for it. Btw I used to be a massive crisp fan but now I’m low carbing so nuts are my go to….monch monch monch!
I'm 52 and I am sure I have ADHD. Everything Kate says resonates... and lots of books and videos I have seen... I aleays thought it was weird how I could drink coffee late at night and still sleep OK, now if I wake up in the night I will make a coffee because it helps me sleep.... I live in South America so finding it hard to find a way to get a diagnosis. Thanks Kate for this interview, really resonated with me.
Self diagnosed yesterday because of the short "how to spot ADHD within 25 seconds" of the same channel. I don't intend to get officially diagnosed etc. What for? I have watched me for very long and I will not stop fighting myself even better. Self acceptance has exponentially risen and the stress of highly masking will go. I don't have it. It's me. My structure. But a lot of destructive self battering will go out of the window. Just in second, after chipping bits off for years with a lot of effort.
Thank you so much, what a breath of fresh air to listen to you both here…i was diagnosed last November at 51…such a mixture of relief and grief too for so many ‘nearly successes’! No children either…but i learned from listening to you about why my relationships have only lasted 2 years!!! I have a cat now and a lot happier to focus on him!! ….fingers crossed for more than 2 years though 😉
Who needs people standing in your way to thwart you when you have partner support like that, right? My lower jaw hit the floor at 40:54 Plus the irony of what comes next about heavily paywalled content because of a deep need for people to be on her side... breaks my heart really 🥺 🩷✌️
I have never understood how someone can be so cruel and unsympathetic towards the one who is supposed to be the person you love the most. She deserves so much better! Should get a dog instead.
This was such an enjoyable conversation!! I never knew Kate Spicer is ADHD and possibly autistic 😅 I was drawn to her articles as a young woman, no wonder why! She's mad in the best way possible and she should never change that for nobody! I look forward to more of these brilliant, insightful and honest conversations ☺️
Kate, you are speaking for me. Thank you so much. Diagnosed at 55, 3 weeks after birthday. Off work since then, can't think, can't motivate. Exhausted from starting over and over again on a cycle of eventual disfunction at work. Finally holding a relationship together - mostly because convinced hubby is also ADHD but also incredibly patient and understanding. Totally get the wrestle of thinking how shit you/I are in spite of succeeding in spite of attributes of ADHD.
Kate, thank you so much for being a part of this interview. I cannot tell you how much this helped me as a newly diagnosed writer with ADHD (at 45)! I am so grateful that you shared your life and journey. ❤
This interview was soooo wonderful ,so healing to hear and also soooo sad and bittersweet to watch ad this has been my struggle and plight- trying to squeeze myself into a world, family,society,life that was so wrong for me because I was made to feel so wrong about myself when there was nothing wrong with me. I got all of it!!!!Am newly diagnosed with adhd and autistic tendencies too at 53 - have struggled chronically in every which way since I was 7 ,life just felt like hell on earth,surprised I survived but I did - my condition was made worse as have had chronic consistent trauma along side it some not generated by me,some generated by me because of my condition!, I have spent all this time wishing to be punished , punishing myself or wishing to be dead because I felt sooo ashamed ,terrified and confused about myself- and then being told of my condition recently I suddenly felt so free,light,unconcemned and wow there is nothing wrong with ME!, now I have started with the grief - thank You God that I was already in therapy with an understanding,aware therapist that can help me navigate along with God my journey ahead because I am soooo angry and sad right now !,,,THANKYOU for this sight.
Hi Sal. Sending all my love and prayers for your future healing and self acceptance. Isn’t it an absolute travesty that you finally got a diagnosis at the age of 53. You are enough and you deserve to live your life in a way that suits you. Please be kind to yourself ❤ xx
You are literally explaining my life except i never had the confidence to follow the Carrer I wanted. I was finally diagnosed at 53 i should get my medication in the next 7 months. I just listen to your story and want to cry. For every missed opportunity. For all the lost years.
I'm 62 and was diagnosed this year. Between that and finding out that most people see pictures in their head and I don't, it's changed my entire reality. But I also realize that most of the people I click with also have ADHD symptoms or diagnoses.
OMG...I truly understand not being able to see pictures in your head, and how dang more difficult that makes your life in many ways. I knew I struggled in so many areas others did not seem to and I ran across an excellent science article just a few years ago (I'm 68 now) and that helped me to understand sooo much more about why I have repeatedly struggled all my life just getting from point A to point B...especially driving...no matter how many times I have made the trip. And I am talking simple trips in town...not extended or new destinations. And I am not stupid!!! Believe it or not...even if I constantly internally struggle with feeling I am. I forgot the name of the part in your head scientist discovered we don't have "turned on" (so to speak) in our heads. But at least finally learning that about myself helped a "little bit" with internal self incrimination. Add that to not being able to learn new info audibly...and take a guess how my internal self-talk goes!!😢 I did manage to accomplish 3 years of college with straight A's. It just took me 5 years to do it. 😢. Another long story! 😮.
@@JoSpring Clearly that person doesn't have any...OR just expects EVERYONE to do the same. Guess what (whomever you are)... We are ALL DIFFERENT! Don't expect the same result from everyone. You don't know their life or internal story!
Just been diagnosed at 59. I am now on Concerta and in therapy. I can relate so much with Kate!!! We Gen X women with ADHD are a lost generation. We did not get noticed and diagnosed until either it’s too late or we could not put up with ourselves anymore. I feel I am one of the lucky ones but that does not mean my life was easy. I managed to have (somehow) a successful career, I have dear friends who love me for who I am (one of them when I told about my ADHA went: « Duh!!!! » :-) ), my family supports me. But I never could manage to have a long term relationship until a few years ago. The cycle of oxytocin ups and downs would make my boyfriends go away or I would make them go away. I now understand why. I was always told that I was « too much » or « not enough ». My so-called weird behaviors also made it awkward with many acquaintances. Some poeple just hate me and think I am crazy or (again) « too much » to handle. I also know why everything I do requires so much energy that I collapse at times and need to relax, yet I don’t relax because I feel guilty doing it. It’s not easy. I am just at the beginning of my journey now that I know I have ADHD. I applaud Kate for being so honest. I wish her well.
Just touching on the question you asked Kate about what was written on her school reports to give some insite to male listeners. I do actually have mine, they were all on the lines of 'very disorganised, polite, seems distracted, often deep in thought, a daydreamer, lack of confidence'. Hope this helps.
It is pretty disgusting that people think it's a new trend to be neurodivergent. I hate that because having add or ADHD or autism or both can be hell on earth at times. I see it in my kids and I have it and I see it in a friend who's absolutely battling to stay above water. So anyone who sees it as a trend should try living in my brain for just a day .
Dear Kate! You are magical! Of course I can hold the grief of getting this diagnosis later in life and the challenges that come with it AND I also just want to say that my favorite fucking people are women with ADHD. Our ability to see things from many perspectives to our things together in weird and wild ways, our “nonlinearness,” all of that is also part of your magic. Sending love as you navigate this!
Really appreciated Kate Spicer's sharing. I'm 52, and over the past year, I first found out I was autistic and more recently have been formally diagnosed with ADHD as well. I recognized so many pieces of my own life in her story. I'm now prescribed stimulants, as well, and that's been a revelation. I had no idea how much chatter I was dealing with or that it wasn't "normal". Great interview. Thanks.
I think for me, I need to percolate ideas but when it ticks over into what I think of as procrastination the self judgement chat just like crashes down like a portcullis. This discussion helped me understand that a bit better 💚
This is awesome. Thank you so much for sharing your experience!! I felt like Beyoncé in Lemonade for years-silenced myself, screamed, jumped, moved, danced, stood still (not long!), swam, walked, starved, glutted, drank, smoked, finally dove into meditation, past life regression, chakra cleansing, and tarot all trying to fix myself. The spiritual stuff finally brought self acceptance and now a deep dive into neurodivergence ✨🙏🏽❤️ My sister is ADHD and we’re very different, so I just figured I’m a fug up. This is all prob TMI but it’s really really nice to know I/you are not alone.
Oh, this was absolutely riveting! I'm 57 and have 3 children diagnosed as add/adhd when they were in elementary school. Madcap BRILLIANT people who taught themselves Japanese for fun over summer break, wrote their own game programs, were reading on a college level in Jr high school, designed/built/enacted replicas of historic battles in our backyard, etc. When the 3rd got diagnosed, I looked at their pediatrician and said "WHAT ate the odds?!" And he said "the nut doesn't fall far from the tree." It was eye opening. ADHD TH-cam has helped so much, and this channel especially, but I do believe Mz Kate's description of her experience is the closest anyone has ever come to explaining mine. So very well done! Thank you
Please please explore the possible connection between ADHD and difficulties learning a foreign language in a future episode. I have found very little about this topic online but my ears pricked up when Kate said she has had similar issues and have heard others struggle too. Not being fluent in Spanish but living in Spain is probably my biggest shame, and something I can't seem to improve on, despite now years of trying. Others don't understand it, but I can't seem to retain what I have "learnt". If anyone reading has any tips or words of wisdom, I'd greatly appreciate them!
I stuggled with traditional classroom learning Spanish. Two years in high school and two in college. Nothing clicked. I'm on a 400 day streak on Duolingo. Amazing app that makes learning language like playing a game with lots of little dopamine rewards. Try it out #notsponsored
I've always been terrible at learning languages, so I just gave up. I envy others who can. I even wrote a short fantasy story where the glamorous beautiful heroine was a multilingual translator. The polar opposite of me.
I live in Italy and still struggle with speaking more than basic Italian. I put down the difficulty with retaining stuff to menopause and a low thyroid but i had an early stage diagnosis of ADHD yesterday at 58, and the pieces are falling in place. I think it's a thing. I'd love some tips too!
I’ve lived 20+ yrs in NL and my Dutch is rubbish. Chalked it up to my being lazy and unfocused. Since being diagnosed 1.5 yrs ago, so much of my past and struggles made sense… and allowed me to be more compassionate with myself..but I’d not connected it to language. 🤦♀️
I feel like it is becoming more and more prevalent because of the fast-paced way of our life and all of the technology and access to so much information at our fingertips. I feel that our bodies were not designed to be so fast-paced and our brains are short-circuiting because everything is just so overwhelming!
Possibly although in terms of evolution, the adhd groups are more well fed. It's stuff we take for granted now but it can make a difference in the survival of the individuals or the whole group.
Oooh! Procrastination is part of MY process too! 😂 Fabulous interview. Kate is so relatable 😊 (70 year old former freelance journo with a lot of other congruencies)
@@MichaelClarke75procrastination is definitely an ADHD symptom. For me it’s the by far the most cripplingly worst symptom, as it’s filled with shame and an inability to commit to starting or finishing things for fear of either not being able to meet your own (often ridiculously high) expectations, or to avoid feeling Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria, which is incredibly painful. Procrastination has cost me so much in my career and in my personal life and now I know I have ADHD (diagnosed last year at 52), I can be more compassionate to myself -which is far from easy, as I’ve spent my whole life being told I’m lazy and not good enough and believing it. So yeah, procrastination is 100% a symptom.
@@MichaelClarke75also, please remember that each person’s experience of adhd is unique. As the saying goes, “once you’ve met one person with ADHD, you’ve met one person with ADHD”.
Wow. I was also diagnosed late, at 56, and all of this really hit home. I struggle to put my experiences into words and hearing someone speak on it so eloquently and thoughtfully made me feel less isolated. Thank you so much!
I'm sick of not being "normal" I'm sick of feeling like everything is hard. I'm sick of feeling like I can't cope and my mood goes up and down minute to minute. I really hoping I will get my address diagnosis and someone will give me some meds to help me. Because it would be really nice to just not feel like a fuck up.
I changed my diet to whole food plant based vegan no chemicals no fried foods no refined sugar added exercise set routines and make sure I have social activities my life is manageable and fun. Need free time and scheduled times. Regular people can go off the rails and get back on easily. ADHD people don’t cope well with that. I don’t want to take drugs. I did years ago and I wish I hadn’t. Relying on pharma is a mistake. Please have compassion for yourself and know that you have a super power when nurtured but when we get off balance a little we can fall off badly. Breathe and be kind to yourself. You know deep down you can shine with the right skills. Calm the chaos and value set routines so you can find your joy.
My favourite is when my family tell me “ You’re not as mad as you think you are “ because they only see me masking. So when I tell them what goes on in my head, they dismiss it….
Thank you Kate for opening up so honestly about things in your life. I recognises those types of struggles… especially in academia…i’d have accomplished….not very much without an imperative deadline. But its a killer each time. The light bulb of hearing others discuss ADHD through their lived experience is so helpful… I wouldn’t have given it a second thought without these discussions. Its helped me understand things. I share that thought of ‘well what do I do now’ and is knowledge of it practically useful when you only hear about it so late in life. Its been a bit of an invisible enemy thats pulled me away from what I knew was right in favour of any distraction even when I’ve known what I should have been doing. All I know is that this channel helps enormously. Thank you Alex and for everyone who contributes to this channel!
I was diagnosed at 38, i'm 43 now, still trying to unpack and understand all the craziness that my life has been. Giving up alcohol has given me the most peace, along with walking away from unhealthy friendships, it's helped to see things more clearly.
I am going down this route of self awareness and self understanding now at 49. Kate interviewed me at work for an article about 25 years ago and it stuck in my head as a really weird interaction…..suddenly it’s all making sense!!! 😂
Kate I can totally relate :D I'm 53 with no diagnosis but i think ADHD with the childhood lack of love and support and instead becoming the scapegoat. I agree that the adhd brain + childhood troubles = a bigger problem. I haven't achieved much, the 1st year of 2 different degrees - 10 years apart. Anyway I feel not so alone in my experience. Apologies for this terrible writing!! hahaa in a hurry can't find the words! Loved this chat - be well lovely people xx
@pipwhitefeather Since ADHD is around 70% heritable, there is a very high likelihood that many of us had parents with undiagnosed ADHD. I am sure my own mother has it and she is also a covert narcissist. I vowed that I would be nothing like her. It does traumatise. I too, was the scapegoat. I’ve turned my life around. Had a diagnosis in my 50s and manage the ADHD with diet, exercise and avoiding stress (downshifted job). One of my sons has it, but having had a loving, nurturing childhood, he is very successful, and has been with his fiancée 13 years. I think a nurturing, happy childhood is what makes a massive difference.
@@gilly5094 yes I've considered this. I believe my maternal grandmother was ADHD, and OCD. Her family didn't know how to deal with her and she would be sent to the basement to scrub the cellar floor - often. In old age she kept an immaculate home and when she was a mother she wouldn't let her kids brush their teeth in the bathroom because of mess - they did it in the kitchen. She wasn't a loving grandmother and my Aquarian mother was equally unemotional but she does care. It's my siblings that I struggle with and their judgments of my life. My step father was also emotionally challenged and ruled 'by fear'. He was a bully really. Wow blah blah blah... who cares eh? I'm still rockin' this crazy life...30% anyway...hahaha sorry on my second glass of wine...happy Tuesday folks!
This has just blown me apart. My 14 year old son is undergoing analysis for ADHD and I’ve consequently been listening and reading about it. This woman is describing my life in a nutshell. I’m 58 soon and most of my life has been wasted.
This interview has convinced me I need to pursue getting tested of ADHD and ASD. I have suspected for years I am dealing with probably both, or at least one.
I am also in my mid 50's and was diagnosed two years ago.....I can relate so much to what Kate is saying, all I can say is thank god for the late diagnosis, saved my life.
Thanks for being so real and vulnerable Kate. Your interview was so validating. Too many ways to name that I could relate. I’m 50, a MH therapist with two neurodivergent kids and somehow just figured it out this past year.
I was so blessed that I had great doctors since child hood, they knew I needed my dopamine from Music, keyboard, rollerskating, drawing, and dancing. My grandma gave me structure and that was very supportive.
I’m 40 and I’m so glad my peer group were more accepting than this. Only 15 years apart and so much change in opinion. I relate with almost everything but so glad was less friction for me.
wow, I can relate to so much of what has been said, but i have never thought of myself as having ADHD because Im not hyperactive, if anything i spend so much time incredibly tired. I completely resonate with the negative self talk, the 2 year relationships that go from almost obsessive to disinterested. Career wise i have always been a perfectonist and over achiever but I would work myself into burn out and still try to seek validation even when i was treated badly. I dont have family relationships and until recently because i was a military brat, i didnt really have true friends I could trust, I tended to do whatever i needed to do to fit in but i never really did. I still dont know if my experience is ADHD, Autism, CPTSD or a mixture of all of them and getting help is almost impossible. Add Perimenopause and hormone fluxuations on top and life is fucking hard...
Was really absorbed in your 'trauma narrative' and then saw your TRAINERS and am now 💯% distracted 😅 Lovely interview thank you, (self) diagnosing AUDHD in my fifties, esp after an occupational psychologist called the ADHD.... Need to find the flip side... I see this interview was six years ago and hope you're both doing really well, maybe an update? 😊 Is a two year honeymoon period with a company you work for also normal with oxytocin and ADHD? Same for me re the children. Was always anxious about perpetuating the chaos and coping with the tiredness and organisation of it, plus the boredom aspects of eg 'going back to school' through your children. Some really fascinating self awareness. Shame before and after diagnosis. People around can often sympathise with the diagnosis but not live/ work with its chaotic aspects.... 🤔
Wow, Kate this is absolutely the best episodes because of how honest you are. So raw, real and honest and I relate on so many levels with so many things. Thank you so much for being so authentic.
So glad I stumbled on this - so many parallels! Made me tear up to hear Kate describe the cacophony of internal voices and see the effect over the years. I also just assumed everyone was like this - what a shock to discover that no, this is anomalous and it’s the reason for some of my best and worst experiences.
She is a wonderful, honest interview. She should try being alone. A huge success even with ADHD. I am grateful to not be in prison or living on the street as a self medicating addict.
This episode with Kate Spicer has been my favourite in terms of how much I relate to her outlook and her journey. I only encountered the ADHD Chatter Podcast recently and have found it very informative and affirmative. A heartfelt thanks to Alex Partridge, the guests and everyone else who contributes to making this.
This could have been my interview! Still undiagnosed at 46 but I now understand why I behaved the way I did up until recently - now I manage my brain a lot better (but it’s still a struggle!)
@katespicer276. Kate - thanks for doing this interview. I've always watched u as years ago I loosely knew one of yr relatives. Due to that link I wud notice yr name & read yr articles. I was diagnosed last summer after 2 years waiting on referral list as problems occurred not of my doing making delays unavoidable. I was then diagnosed Autistic in December. I'm a few years older than u. . I've just been dismissed from my job because they don't want to make adjustments 4 my new diagnosis of Audhd. Obviously this makes me feel doubly shamed as I've felt shamed by them since I told them about my initial referral. So now I'm managing massive changes & financial instability, only a few weeks after being released from hospital (after a week there because the constant stress affected my body where I nearly died if sepsis). Hopefully as one stressful door closes, other doors will open. I would like to be respected & appreciated for me - with my neurodiversity. If u had doubts about doing this interview, please be reassured u have done the right thing. This interview not so 'coincidentally' popped up in my feed. I can see so many others in the comments section stating they have valued this interview & wish to thank you both for doing it. I adored crisps and ate 2 packets a day at times. Since being hospitalised I can only eat low fat crisps and I have half a packet a day now. They were a comfort food dopamine hit b 4, for sure. I've subbed to u. Bravo Kate. X.
It IS a consumer decision and it is a class thing - I'm in middle life and anyone I know who is "professional" (ie wealthy) is going private and getting meds, anyone else gets to be lazy messy low achieving addict. Could be worse tho, could be lazy messy addict in prison or in massive debt
Kate Spencer, thank you so much for sharing your explanation of two-year relationships. I never understood, until you shared, why I experienced the very same, complete with hyper focus on the person while it lasted.
Crying, like I've been let out of a cage, happy I'm free but realizing how much ive missed by being in the cage. This was like looking in a mirror. When you hear your thoughts outside your own head, it makes me feel more real, like I'm not a ghost. Thank you Kate, you have helped me.
Thank you so much to both of you. This was so very helpful Momma will be 50 in 2 weeks dx at 43 after my daughter’s diagnosis. WILD RIDE perimenopause is killing me and medication trials are draining. Thank you for this podcast I related so much.
Whoa, hold up. I'm about halfway through this vid having been diagnosed with ADHD nearly 2 months ago. Im 42 and my life is a trainwreck. What is freaking me out right now is how many things she as talked about that I was literally just talking about to my therapist yesterday. And yeah, I genuinely thought that everybody was like this and could just handle it better. Mind blown. Thank you so much for this, it's really helping make sense of this at this early stage ❤
I really wish she had given her opinions about ADHD being a pathologising of personality. It would be great to have her on again in a few months' time. She's great to listen to.
Do you mean that it's not adhd but just a personality disorder that has not been discovered yet ? Really? Very interesting . If this is true where can I find more infos about it ?
@@deliobaoduzzi6450 no. If you hear someone say that adhd is just “pathologising personality” what they’re saying is they think it’s not a real disorder, just a personality type that has been labeled one. Does that make sense? A lot of people think this. Doesn’t mean it’s true, it’s just an opinion. I think there is some merit to it but it’s more complex than that.
Thank you so much for doing this interview Kate, i had a few omg moments, recognising past relationship patterns, negative self talk, eating issues. I still get hungry hippo in my head everytime I feel hungry and a failure narrative. I haven't been formally diagnosed, but my youngest son has been and has autism as well and it's on both sides of my biological family.
my god the amount of the conversation, that kate speaks about makes so much sense for most of my life my first ever relationship lasted 2 years!! i’m adhd and autistic big love Kate
TY for sharing your story! I’m amazed you had a career without prescription medication; I’ve returned to college after over a decade only due to my stimulants. Dr K has a VOD the reason stimulants do work for hyperactivity is because it’ll elevate the executive functions so you can focus and pick what to do. The pandemic brought a brutal shortage of ADHD medicine as so many got diagnosed in USA. If anyone has similar issues mentioned seek at least 2 Doc’s to be assessed, it took 4 doctors for my diagnosis. All of the stigma she mentions are all so prevalent, maybe even the host?
I got diagnosed with ADHD years ago. I could remember several years ago after divorce with my husband which brought me into my disastrous journey on Alcohol and cigarettes. I suffered severe depression and mental disorder. Got diagnosed with ADHD. Not until a friend recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment saved my life honestly. 8 years totally clean. Much respect to mother nature the great magic shrooms.
I love hearing great life changing stories like this. I want to become a mycologist because honestly mushrooms are the best form of medicine (most especially the psychedelic ones) There are so many people today used magic mushrooms to ween off of SSRI medication- its amazing! Years back i wrote an entire essay about psychedelics. they saved you from death buddy, lets be honest here.
Hey mates! Can you help with the source? I suffer severe anxiety, panic and depression and I usually take prescription medicine, but they don't always help. Where can I find those psilocybin mushrooms? I'm really interested in treating my mental health without Rxs. I live in Australia don't know much about these. I'm so glad they helped you. I can't wait to get them too. Really need a reliable source 🙏
YES very sure of mycologist Predroavaro. This treatment worked for me. Helped me got rid of my anxiety and BPD.
I'm so very happy for you mate, Psilocybin is absolutely amazing, the way it shows you things, the way it teaches you things. I can not believe our world and our people shows less interest about it's helpfulness to humanity. It's love. The mushrooms heals people by showing the truth, it would be so beneficial for so many people, especially politicians and the rich who have lost their way and every other persons out there.
How do i find him? Is he on insta
It made me sad that kate’s final words were “thanks for putting up with me”. 😢 Kate! You need to know how affirming and vital this interview was. I felt validated and very seen. Thank you so much. There’s a lot of grief that comes with the post-diagnosis re-running of your life. It’s very hard. Sending you much love and heartfelt thanks for your honesty ❤
I agree. Sad sign off. I often say the same thing. As another late diagnosed woman, heartfelt wishes to Kate for the journey ahead accepting the diagnosis and working with it ❤ thank you for your honesty and sharing
Why does she feel she's being judged
Why can't she just see herself as any other human being
@@ElliotHaganOfficial it's associated currently with the extreme amount of outside negative talk, and then the internal talk that tends to be as awful as the external comments. It's very hard to turn those comments off. ❤
I say that too! Thanks for putting up with me. I’m going to change that….
I think this woman just explained my life. So painful to have it reiterated and hear it back to me. Her life is so relatable. She articulates it well.😢
Same. 100% the same
Indeed
Except I was that person in the gutter
One HUNDRED percent!!!xxo
yeh, i started out thnking ''but she's successful'' but then, the description of watching other colleagues racing past her all the time........... yup, whether you're working in an office as a clerical officer or writing articles or acting................ you still have to watch other people over take you. it always hurts.
The best thing I've found for my autism, adhd and bipolar type 1 is a ketogenic diet. Been eating this way now for a full year and it's life changing. I'm a self employed artist and now I can focus at my work for 14 hours a day, pretty much 7 days a week. Before keto I'd maybe work 4 hours a day and get distracted by everything and anything. If I increase carbohydrates then all my symptoms come back, on keto with under 50g carbs in my diet per day I am amazingly focused and have no intrusive thoughts, no brain chatter, no stimming etc.
Im 53 and can totally relate to Kate, I have struggled all my life. Due to watching one of your shorts Alex I did the preliminary ADHD test and its the first test ive ever Aced Ive wrecked every relationship and friendship ive ever had, cant hold a job down I live alone and have very few friends and self medicating is all i have until getting a full diagnosed. im doing everything i can to get on top of this but its a 3 year waiting list to be fully diagnosed.... Thank you for atleast helping me start to understand myself..... I need to get the Monkey out and Tortoise in that would be bliss
Thanks for sharing this. It's not easy and you should remind yourself that a lot of the crap isn't your fault. I'm grateful to have you here in the community! Alex
Really really get you , same here, I'm 52 ❤️🙏🏼✨
Omg - SAME. Its been a challenging life! Didn’t get diagnosed till 52! What a nightmare - it wasn’t “invented” yet when I was a kid lol
Same 53 just been diagnosed but now have to wait for triation. For months. I'm still broken. I'm not getting any advice except from these types of videos.
Same at 55
I'm applauding you Kate! Please applaud yourself!
She's great, isn't she!
@@ADHD_Chatter_Podcastshe’s a F wit
@@ADHD_Chatter_Podcastthe world doesn’t need more adhd fame whores
I'm almost 48 and was diagnosed with ADHD yesterday and things are finally starting to make sense.
I am 70 and was diagnosed with ADHD a year ago. My fraternal twin does not have it. My father was upset over my poor marks and laziness. Sixty-nine years of beating myself up as a failure. Meds now help quiet my over-critical mind, and anxiety. I am happy (and envious) when people discover early in life that they have ADHD. The men in my family are on the autism scale, but can function quite well in their own field. Thank you for this interesting interview.
Give it another 18 months and that’s when the real clarity hits.
@@0ut0fafricaawhy do you say so?
@@ME_Privato because deeply understanding how ADHD has impacted your entire life takes a long time as you start to pick away at surface level things, and then undercover deeper aspects of your life that have been influenced by it. There’s a lot of a-ha moments and for me even four years later these moments continue.
@@0ut0fafricaa now I understand what you mean. I'm very curious to see how it's going to be for me: I got my diagnostic of first level last November, but I didn't mind of it at first, since I didn't know what it really was. I realized that it was something kind of huge only in April and since then I started to dig deep in it. I had already many "ah ah" moments ☺️ The most impacting was realizing how not diagnosed adhd must have caused my depression since I was 17. And I'm 50. It was an overwhelming discover!
I hope that Kate eventually comes to realize that fellow NDs are better resources than 99% of the medical community. When you’re apart of a minority - you realize how vital community is and how far we’ve gotten away from it.
♥️
Y.
Although listening to her I'm left wondering who is "normal", I think we might be in the majority but just don't connect enough.
My experience of way too many doctors leaves me feeling they are hyped up idiots. Finding one who is good at their job is bloody hard. I live in Ireland though where most people who are good at what they do leave
@@souxcasa I'm in the US and have mostly bad luck with doctors. But our medical system is just designed that way.
@@theorganizedplaylist8956and it’s inaccessible because of the expense…
I was diagnosed with ADD when I was 38. I'm 68 now. I tried the ADD medications but had to stop because they made me dull minded. I think a better term then procrastination, for me anyway, is contemplation. I need the time to think and digest the task at hand. Either because I am overwhelmed by it or because somewhere in my brain I am at complete odds with the task itself.
46:30
without ADHD: thirst -> want water --> where is the water? -> kitchen -> glass -> water -> close the tap -> drink -> ah! much better! -> back to work.
with ADHD: thirst -> damn thirst -> why thirst? -> Oh, of course because of dehydration, perspiration, liquid-vapor balance, convection -> if it's windy, with this dry air, you evaporate faster -> by the way, what's the weather like now? -> I should write a program in C that can predict thirst based on my activity and air parameters? -> Or should I use another language instead? -> I don't have time to write this program now, but I'll have to make a note of it in the idea box -> Damn... I haven't yet written this comparative sheet on programming languages -> Ah, that's annoying, I'd just like to see the weather forecast but there are too many tabs open on my browser -> Never mind, what did I want again? -> Ah yes: drinking. -> Well, I'll just go to the kitchen and get myself a glass of water. -> Speaking of kitchen, isn't it already time to cook something? -> No it's not, but it won't be long now -> damn, there's just not enough time to do anything else before cooking -> if I cook a soup, it'll stop my thirst -> Where is this damned spoon ? -> but I can also drink water beforehand, in which case I'd rather not cook a soup -> When did I eat a soup last time? -> Oh yes, it was the great pumpkin soup. -> Oh dear, I've got to water the vegetable garden before it dies! -> let's get a hat so I don't get sunburns while watering the garden -> this coat should hang there -> those vegetables are vey lucky someone think for them -> If only they could think for me -> but I eat them ! -> not now -> soon -> they must hate me -> oh, the neighbor's cat is there. -> Aouch, what a headache. -> It must be the sun, especially as I haven't had a drink since yesterday. -> What is this cat doing? Hey! don't… oh… so you cat want to drink the water for the plants -> even cats are smarter than I am.
Then the phone rings, your mother calls for news, you say you're thirsty, and she ask why you don't think about drinking water, and you say you do, and she ask why you don't drink then, and you resist the compulsion to tell her that it's because of her and because of the cat. This is how you forget your hat outside.
(overly simplified version)
OMG...ME... 😱😣😩😖
😬🤫🤪
Soooo accurate! Great job!
This should not have made me laugh this hard 😂
How did you possibly learn to code? I could never.
@@emjizone 😂😂😂at least boring, pointless tasks become SOOO much more interesting! Where would we have been without this everlasting entertaining brain?! Ah, yes, I forgot in the gutter....
Spot. On.
And yet I still find myself thinking, “nah…*everyone * constantly thinks like the 2nd example. They just don’t want to be embarrassed so they say they think like the first example…right??.”
Still trying to grasp that much of the world thinks in efficient, straight lines. I have no concept of what it’s like to think in a straight line rather than in a spiderweb diagram fashion.
God, what it must be like for others to listen to me. Half the time, if they ask a question like “aren’t you thirsty?”, I regurgitate the entire novel of thoughts I had about water, because in my mind, they are ALL related, because I can draw a line from any seemingly random thought back to the water.
Eh, at least it’s a strength in certain work roles, but man! Where’s the pause switch for this thing. It’s exhausting!
This is the best interview I have heard on ADHD so far.. Thank you Kate, for your candour. I'm in awe of the way you can articulate your experience.
I can so relate. I’m late diagnosed at 50, officially in February. I had no idea that being shy and day dreamy was an ADHD thing. When young ADHD wasn’t really a thing. Especially not in the Hispanic culture. So many wrecked relationships, impulsive decisions, placed myself in so many dangerous situations. Years of thinking I was broken and believing that I was lazy and not good enough. I still struggle. I medicate off and on. More off than on because who can remember. There’s a lot of grieving the life I lived and the life I could have lived.
Omg - I can totally relate to EVERYTHING you just said! It wasn’t invented yet when I was a kid is a joke I make often, (but kind of true!) and didn’t get diagnosed till my 50’s as well .,,
But what life could you have lived? I mean does knowing you have ADHD change all the broken relationships, unemployment, depression, anxiety etc?
@@daisychain914 I believe so. Knowledge is power. If you know and understand there’s a reason your brain works the way it does, there are systems you can put in place to protect, to guide, to encourage. Which is what I have now at 50. I’m learning, studying and testing different methods. I would understand hyperfocus, dopamine, time blindness, and how to do lists and body doubling is helpful. What life could I have lived? Well I’ll never know will I. Never had the opportunity.
@@jessinaespinal8206 yes I suppose we will never know. I have goldfish brain (inattentive) so even if I make a list I’ll likely forget I’ve made it anyway. Also looking at a list doesn’t mean I’ll have the motivation to do much on it. I have so many unfinished project books, notebooks, lists etc etc
Knowing about adhd hasn’t helped me yet except bring me lots of ah ha moments and beat myself up a tiny bit less.
Maybe there’s a book or system out there that can help me a bit more. I’m glad you’re finding things that help :)
@@daisychain914 OMG...I relate to your most lists. My house/life is covered with hundreds of them...and has been for years. I have more notes and lists in my house than furniture.
😢😮
Such intelligent rigour. Such strength. Such courage. Such integrity. Well done Kate. And yes this is what so many women with ADHD unrecognised have faced.
Diagnosed at 36... I'm so sorry for have being so cruel to myself all this time.
I feel this so hard. 😕
40 here and re diagnosed as well. I agree.
I'm 36. Been struggling my whole life aswell.
my ex and I had a relationship for 4 years, with a breakup at the 2 year mark, almost on the same day . I got my diagnosis before our 2 year anniversary but it wasn't enough to fix our problems. After therapy and treatment, we gave our relationship a second chance but at the 2 year mark, he broke up with me again because he couldn't deal with my ADHD. He expected me to change if I just tried and if I failed, it meant I didn't care enough about him. Now I found my ADHD tribe, people who won't judge me and understand what I'm experiencing. I related a lot to Kate's experience and how her environment treated her ADHD.
Don't change yourself for anyone ❤ I'm so grateful to have you here in the community Nikky! Alex
How do you find an ADHD tribe?
I want to know too! Where can I find an ADHD tribe? I’m thinking of starting an event, a meet and greet for ADHDers at a local coffee shop or something.
I hope i find the way to give it UP and feel better with myself❤
@@marcsteddybearLike this!!!
Wow, what a great interview. I finished watching, thinking this explains me better than I could ever do. From masking, to falling apart at uni, to disastrous relationships, to watching peers overtake my apparent inability to gain traction. I was formally diagnosed at 40, and went through a period of what I can best describe as grief. Grief for past decisions and grief for being so hard on myself for these past decisions. Some of these decisions have haunted me my entire adult life, drawing attention away from and obliterating memories of some great achievements. Thank you and Kate for providing a moment of clarity through the usual cacophony of contradictory thoughts.
No diagnosis but recognse your pathway, coming out as ADHD age 63, it really hits hard.
Funny that I recognise all the stages of masking, coping and now starting to fall apart; I remember falling apart at 18 too but it didn't register with anyone- especially back then.
Don't worry, I'll keep going.
You too! ❤
Great vlog.
I'm having a ADHD moment!!! Diagnosed ar 48. Just hit one year this month. I got more out of this podcast than I have in a year of adhd group therapy. Fucking shook😢😮
Yup... me too
45ish for me. Now, I am 48 and I am having the extra special addition of peri-menopause. Best of luck to you!
Y I get a lot out of listening to others with adhd.
Scsmmer
Scammerwhinging baby
Fantastic interview, so relatable. Low level alcohol/narcotics use, failure to ever really make money, compounding condition shifts such as menopause. Thankyou.
Oh, and crisps. I didn't know that was a thing, but yeah, that's defintely a thing. Interesting to know that it's the crunch that's at the heart of it. Unhealthy me will mainline a large sharing bag of crisps a day. Healthy me buys carrots and celery and makes hummus. Just never put it together before.
The money part is me and my brain 🧠 bummer
Thank you for this interview! I resonated with everything Kate said. Everything fell apart for me during college as well and I've spent my life wondering why I couldn't get it together and why I was successful but not as successful as I could be. I would blame myself. There's a lot of shame when you have ADHD. And the cocktail of menopause & ADHD is brutal.
What a beautiful and vulnerable interview. How brave she was to bear her soul without filter. I have never felt so seen.
Agreed on all this!
“Baggy of Oxytocin” - brilliant Kate. I need to write you a letter of heartfelt thanks for this. ❤xx
I eat with small spoons and scoop stuff out with big spoons. But I also have twice as many small spoons in my silver set so that's helpful ☺️
Kate, you just described my life. I am 50. I had similar feelings post diagnosis at 45. I felt bereft for the person I could have been. Everyone around me in the corporate world seemed to climb the ladder and I was just stuck. I am constantly told to turn the volume down. I am not even shouting. It’s like trying to speak above the mind chatter, I guess.
I feel like a younger version of Kate, I was diagnosed at 29 (last year). And I see so much of what she is saying in my narrative. Thanks Kate for speaking so early on in your diagnosis. I don't feel like I can talk to anyone about it so it has been really beneficial hearing this.
I'm so sorry that Kate is having that pushback from her family. I'm only 9 months diagnosed and I'm 56. My mother, who is 84, has been very supportive and as we've both learned so much more about the condition, she's definitely recognised several of the traits in herself and although she has many fewer than me, we've both got closer due to understanding where many of our struggles when I was young came from
I just love this lady ❤ I just want to give her a hug, and anyone else that is struggling with feeling unsupported. X
A huge thank you to Kate for sharing. I'm about 3 years post-diagnosis, not much younger than Kate, and I was on the verge of tears through most of the video because of how deeply relatable she is.
Kate you are awesome ❤❤❤ Thank you for being so honest! Everything you said I am going through as well. I am in my 40s and not diagnosed only diagnosed with anxiety disorder but I know I have ADD.
I so want to give you a hug and tell you it's going to be OK. When I got diagnosed last year it was such a hard adjustment and I felt like so many of the ways you're describing. A year on and if come to terms with the diagnosis and gotten closer to a place of acceptance. Those negative thought spirals have lessened and that chorus of self hating voices have finally quieted. I didn't even know it was possible. Please hold on. It will get better.
28:16 “All the chatter goes” I cannot comprehend how this feels!
A very moving and valuable podcast, thank you so much.
I’m 53 and am grappling with the grief and loss of years spent feeling like an abject failure.
The negative looping internal dialogue was crippling. I agree that childhood trauma and ADHD is a clusterfuck. I am a survivor as we all are survivors, but man; so hard.
I’ve carved a life for myself that is a good one. But letting go of my “potential”, being considered a “gifted” child, then diagnosed by an eminent psychotherapist as a “classic underachiever” to my parents who systematically called me lazy, a disappointment and eventually scapegoated.
I am now estranged from my family, live alone and have difficult relationships with my adult daughters, one of which is on the spectrum. The fact that women historically were so underdiagnosed meant that I was completely blind to ND in my own family. Now I look at my family tree aghast at the amount of ND in it.
I’ve become acutely aware of the symptoms that I live with every day. Lack of spacial awareness, the need for deadlines, the procrastination and self medication.
My ADHD friend, who is brilliant but very troubled, says ADHD is a superpower….but he’s struggling with drug addiction and impulsive behaviour that keeps him trapped in a cycle he doesn’t seem to see.
I’m now a painter, something I’ve tried to be all my life. Despite being told I was talented I was also told that I would never be able to make a living as a creative. I still don’t make a living but I’ve managed to own my home and work casually and paint. So maybe one day I can sell my art well and do more than just get by. Despite the procrastination, social anxiety and self doubt.
I think we’ve all learnt to just keep on keeping on. I gave up drinking early this year and that’s helped me to make some changes. I still fall off the wagon occasionally but I’m no longer hating myself for it.
Btw I used to be a massive crisp fan but now I’m low carbing so nuts are my go to….monch monch monch!
Good advice, ty!
Your story is very close to mine. Look into kudzu root for the alcohol.
Thanks for sharing! I can relate to this a lot ❤
Loooove this comment. Relate to so much to all of it ❤️
I'm 52 and I am sure I have ADHD. Everything Kate says resonates... and lots of books and videos I have seen... I aleays thought it was weird how I could drink coffee late at night and still sleep OK, now if I wake up in the night I will make a coffee because it helps me sleep.... I live in South America so finding it hard to find a way to get a diagnosis. Thanks Kate for this interview, really resonated with me.
I get the coffee in the middle of the night thing too...and right back to sleep.
Self diagnosed yesterday because of the short "how to spot ADHD within 25 seconds" of the same channel.
I don't intend to get officially diagnosed etc.
What for?
I have watched me for very long and I will not stop fighting myself even better. Self acceptance has exponentially risen and the stress of highly masking will go.
I don't have it. It's me. My structure. But a lot of destructive self battering will go out of the window. Just in second, after chipping bits off for years with a lot of effort.
Thank you so much, what a breath of fresh air to listen to you both here…i was diagnosed last November at 51…such a mixture of relief and grief too for so many ‘nearly successes’! No children either…but i learned from listening to you about why my relationships have only lasted 2 years!!! I have a cat now and a lot happier to focus on him!! ….fingers crossed for more than 2 years though 😉
53 year old ADHD female here. Apologies in advance for the unrequested advice....but
boyfriend has to go. X
Agree with that, boyfriend's gotta go!
Hard agree 👍🏽
This.
Who needs people standing in your way to thwart you when you have partner support like that, right? My lower jaw hit the floor at 40:54
Plus the irony of what comes next about heavily paywalled content because of a deep need for people to be on her side... breaks my heart really 🥺
🩷✌️
I have never understood how someone can be so cruel and unsympathetic towards the one who is supposed to be the person you love the most. She deserves so much better! Should get a dog instead.
Iiiiinteresring about the tour guides having ADHD. We love novelty and that can translate into to loving new surroundings! 🎉😊🎉😊
My cousin said his two best tour guides, by a long way, are very ADHD.
@@katespicer276 That's awesome 😄
This was such an enjoyable conversation!! I never knew Kate Spicer is ADHD and possibly autistic 😅 I was drawn to her articles as a young woman, no wonder why! She's mad in the best way possible and she should never change that for nobody! I look forward to more of these brilliant, insightful and honest conversations ☺️
Kate, you are speaking for me. Thank you so much. Diagnosed at 55, 3 weeks after birthday. Off work since then, can't think, can't motivate. Exhausted from starting over and over again on a cycle of eventual disfunction at work. Finally holding a relationship together - mostly because convinced hubby is also ADHD but also incredibly patient and understanding. Totally get the wrestle of thinking how shit you/I are in spite of succeeding in spite of attributes of ADHD.
Kate, thank you so much for being a part of this interview. I cannot tell you how much this helped me as a newly diagnosed writer with ADHD (at 45)! I am so grateful that you shared your life and journey. ❤
Thank you Kate and Alex. Another very relatable podcast. ❤
Appreciate the support!
This interview was soooo wonderful ,so healing to hear and also soooo sad and bittersweet to watch ad this has been my struggle and plight- trying to squeeze myself into a world, family,society,life that was so wrong for me because I was made to feel so wrong about myself when there was nothing wrong with me. I got all of it!!!!Am newly diagnosed with adhd and autistic tendencies too at 53 - have struggled chronically in every which way since I was 7 ,life just felt like hell on earth,surprised I survived but I did - my condition was made worse as have had chronic consistent trauma along side it some not generated by me,some generated by me because of my condition!, I have spent all this time wishing to be punished , punishing myself or wishing to be dead because I felt sooo ashamed ,terrified and confused about myself- and then being told of my condition recently I suddenly felt so free,light,unconcemned and wow there is nothing wrong with ME!, now I have started with the grief - thank You God that I was already in therapy with an understanding,aware therapist that can help me navigate along with God my journey ahead because I am soooo angry and sad right now !,,,THANKYOU for this sight.
Hi Sal. Sending all my love and prayers for your future healing and self acceptance. Isn’t it an absolute travesty that you finally got a diagnosis at the age of 53. You are enough and you deserve to live your life in a way that suits you. Please be kind to yourself ❤ xx
You are literally explaining my life except i never had the confidence to follow the Carrer I wanted. I was finally diagnosed at 53 i should get my medication in the next 7 months. I just listen to your story and want to cry. For every missed opportunity. For all the lost years.
AMEN!!!
💙💙💙
I'm 62 and was diagnosed this year. Between that and finding out that most people see pictures in their head and I don't, it's changed my entire reality. But I also realize that most of the people I click with also have ADHD symptoms or diagnoses.
Scammer
@@DisabilitysAREabilities huh? 🤔
OMG...I truly understand not being able to see pictures in your head, and how dang more difficult that makes your life in many ways. I knew I struggled in so many areas others did not seem to and I ran across an excellent science article just a few years ago (I'm 68 now) and that helped me to understand sooo much more about why I have repeatedly struggled all my life just getting from point A to point B...especially driving...no matter how many times I have made the trip. And I am talking simple trips in town...not extended or new destinations. And I am not stupid!!! Believe it or not...even if I constantly internally struggle with feeling I am. I forgot the name of the part in your head scientist discovered we don't have "turned on" (so to speak) in our heads. But at least finally learning that about myself helped a "little bit" with internal self incrimination. Add that to not being able to learn new info audibly...and take a guess how my internal self-talk goes!!😢
I did manage to accomplish 3 years of college with straight A's. It just took me 5 years to do it. 😢. Another long story! 😮.
@@JoSpring Clearly that person doesn't have any...OR just expects EVERYONE to do the same.
Guess what (whomever you are)... We are ALL DIFFERENT! Don't expect the same result from everyone. You don't know their life or internal story!
Like you I got a diagnosis late in life. At age 70. And I also have “Aphantasia” the inability to see pictures in my head. Thank you for your comment.
I feel exactly like this, it makes so emotional listening to you. Last year l realised l have adhd at 59
❤❤Same here. At 60. Go well, random stranger on the Internet, who touches my heart too..
Just been diagnosed at 59. I am now on Concerta and in therapy. I can relate so much with Kate!!! We Gen X women with ADHD are a lost generation. We did not get noticed and diagnosed until either it’s too late or we could not put up with ourselves anymore. I feel I am one of the lucky ones but that does not mean my life was easy. I managed to have (somehow) a successful career, I have dear friends who love me for who I am (one of them when I told about my ADHA went: « Duh!!!! » :-) ), my family supports me. But I never could manage to have a long term relationship until a few years ago. The cycle of oxytocin ups and downs would make my boyfriends go away or I would make them go away. I now understand why. I was always told that I was « too much » or « not enough ». My so-called weird behaviors also made it awkward with many acquaintances. Some poeple just hate me and think I am crazy or (again) « too much » to handle. I also know why everything I do requires so much energy that I collapse at times and need to relax, yet I don’t relax because I feel guilty doing it. It’s not easy. I am just at the beginning of my journey now that I know I have ADHD. I applaud Kate for being so honest. I wish her well.
Just touching on the question you asked Kate about what was written on her school reports to give some insite to male listeners. I do actually have mine, they were all on the lines of 'very disorganised, polite, seems distracted, often deep in thought, a daydreamer, lack of confidence'. Hope this helps.
It is pretty disgusting that people think it's a new trend to be neurodivergent. I hate that because having add or ADHD or autism or both can be hell on earth at times. I see it in my kids and I have it and I see it in a friend who's absolutely battling to stay above water. So anyone who sees it as a trend should try living in my brain for just a day .
Yes!!!!!
Dear Kate! You are magical! Of course I can hold the grief of getting this diagnosis later in life and the challenges that come with it AND I also just want to say that my favorite fucking people are women with ADHD. Our ability to see things from many perspectives to our things together in weird and wild ways, our “nonlinearness,” all of that is also part of your magic. Sending love as you navigate this!
Really appreciated Kate Spicer's sharing. I'm 52, and over the past year, I first found out I was autistic and more recently have been formally diagnosed with ADHD as well. I recognized so many pieces of my own life in her story. I'm now prescribed stimulants, as well, and that's been a revelation. I had no idea how much chatter I was dealing with or that it wasn't "normal". Great interview. Thanks.
I think for me, I need to percolate ideas but when it ticks over into what I think of as procrastination the self judgement chat just like crashes down like a portcullis.
This discussion helped me understand that a bit better 💚
This is awesome. Thank you so much for sharing your experience!!
I felt like Beyoncé in Lemonade for years-silenced myself, screamed, jumped, moved, danced, stood still (not long!), swam, walked, starved, glutted, drank, smoked, finally dove into meditation, past life regression, chakra cleansing, and tarot all trying to fix myself. The spiritual stuff finally brought self acceptance and now a deep dive into neurodivergence ✨🙏🏽❤️
My sister is ADHD and we’re very different, so I just figured I’m a fug up. This is all prob TMI but it’s really really nice to know I/you are not alone.
So Happy to have found this channel
I had no idea, this is me.
Oh, this was absolutely riveting! I'm 57 and have 3 children diagnosed as add/adhd when they were in elementary school. Madcap BRILLIANT people who taught themselves Japanese for fun over summer break, wrote their own game programs, were reading on a college level in Jr high school, designed/built/enacted replicas of historic battles in our backyard, etc. When the 3rd got diagnosed, I looked at their pediatrician and said "WHAT ate the odds?!" And he said "the nut doesn't fall far from the tree." It was eye opening. ADHD TH-cam has helped so much, and this channel especially, but I do believe Mz Kate's description of her experience is the closest anyone has ever come to explaining mine. So very well done! Thank you
Please please explore the possible connection between ADHD and difficulties learning a foreign language in a future episode. I have found very little about this topic online but my ears pricked up when Kate said she has had similar issues and have heard others struggle too. Not being fluent in Spanish but living in Spain is probably my biggest shame, and something I can't seem to improve on, despite now years of trying. Others don't understand it, but I can't seem to retain what I have "learnt". If anyone reading has any tips or words of wisdom, I'd greatly appreciate them!
I stuggled with traditional classroom learning Spanish. Two years in high school and two in college. Nothing clicked. I'm on a 400 day streak on Duolingo. Amazing app that makes learning language like playing a game with lots of little dopamine rewards. Try it out #notsponsored
I've always been terrible at learning languages, so I just gave up. I envy others who can. I even wrote a short fantasy story where the glamorous beautiful heroine was a multilingual translator.
The polar opposite of me.
I live in Italy and still struggle with speaking more than basic Italian. I put down the difficulty with retaining stuff to menopause and a low thyroid but i had an early stage diagnosis of ADHD yesterday at 58, and the pieces are falling in place. I think it's a thing. I'd love some tips too!
I’ve lived 20+ yrs in NL and my Dutch is rubbish. Chalked it up to my being lazy and unfocused. Since being diagnosed 1.5 yrs ago, so much of my past and struggles made sense… and allowed me to be more compassionate with myself..but I’d not connected it to language. 🤦♀️
@@xiaohu66 🧡
I feel like it is becoming more and more prevalent because of the fast-paced way of our life and all of the technology and access to so much information at our fingertips. I feel that our bodies were not designed to be so fast-paced and our brains are short-circuiting because everything is just so overwhelming!
Nope, I was born like this. We only got tv when I was about eight or nine years old.
I don’t think so, since I’ve always been this way and I’m quite old. It was no different back when I was a child and the pace of life was much slower.
Possibly although in terms of evolution, the adhd groups are more well fed. It's stuff we take for granted now but it can make a difference in the survival of the individuals or the whole group.
Nah normies wanting our meds😂
Nope. ADHD since day one. My daughter also.
Oooh! Procrastination is part of MY process too! 😂 Fabulous interview. Kate is so relatable 😊 (70 year old former freelance journo with a lot of other congruencies)
Procrastination is not an ADHD symptom. In fact the complete opposite. Impulsivity and lack of focus not procrastination.
@@MichaelClarke75procrastination is definitely an ADHD symptom. For me it’s the by far the most cripplingly worst symptom, as it’s filled with shame and an inability to commit to starting or finishing things for fear of either not being able to meet your own (often ridiculously high) expectations, or to avoid feeling Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria, which is incredibly painful. Procrastination has cost me so much in my career and in my personal life and now I know I have ADHD (diagnosed last year at 52), I can be more compassionate to myself -which is far from easy, as I’ve spent my whole life being told I’m lazy and not good enough and believing it.
So yeah, procrastination is 100% a symptom.
@@MichaelClarke75also, please remember that each person’s experience of adhd is unique. As the saying goes, “once you’ve met one person with ADHD, you’ve met one person with ADHD”.
Wow. I was also diagnosed late, at 56, and all of this really hit home. I struggle to put my experiences into words and hearing someone speak on it so eloquently and thoughtfully made me feel less isolated. Thank you so much!
I'm sick of not being "normal" I'm sick of feeling like everything is hard. I'm sick of feeling like I can't cope and my mood goes up and down minute to minute. I really hoping I will get my address diagnosis and someone will give me some meds to help me. Because it would be really nice to just not feel like a fuck up.
I changed my diet to whole food plant based vegan no chemicals no fried foods no refined sugar added exercise set routines and make sure I have social activities my life is manageable and fun. Need free time and scheduled times. Regular people can go off the rails and get back on easily. ADHD people don’t cope well with that. I don’t want to take drugs. I did years ago and I wish I hadn’t. Relying on pharma is a mistake. Please have compassion for yourself and know that you have a super power when nurtured but when we get off balance a little we can fall off badly. Breathe and be kind to yourself. You know deep down you can shine with the right skills. Calm the chaos and value set routines so you can find your joy.
Whinging baby
I hear you. Honestly, I feel the exact same. Seriously so utterly fed up of being “useless “.
My favourite is when my family tell me “ You’re not as mad as you think you are “ because they only see me masking. So when I tell them what goes on in my head, they dismiss it….
@@DisabilitysAREabilitiesWith a handle like yours, you should be ashamed of having written that.
Thank you Kate for opening up so honestly about things in your life. I recognises those types of struggles… especially in academia…i’d have accomplished….not very much without an imperative deadline. But its a killer each time. The light bulb of hearing others discuss ADHD through their lived experience is so helpful… I wouldn’t have given it a second thought without these discussions. Its helped me understand things. I share that thought of ‘well what do I do now’ and is knowledge of it practically useful when you only hear about it so late in life. Its been a bit of an invisible enemy thats pulled me away from what I knew was right in favour of any distraction even when I’ve known what I should have been doing.
All I know is that this channel helps enormously. Thank you Alex and for everyone who contributes to this channel!
I was diagnosed at 38, i'm 43 now, still trying to unpack and understand all the craziness that my life has been. Giving up alcohol has given me the most peace, along with walking away from unhealthy friendships, it's helped to see things more clearly.
thank you for sharing your experiences Kate 🙂❤
watching this has made my day a lot easier, thank you both
So nice to hear. Thanks
Big huge Thank You Kate. I feel seen, heard, represented in every aspect of your story. Im grateful for your vulnerability. You are a powerhouse Kate
I am going down this route of self awareness and self understanding now at 49. Kate interviewed me at work for an article about 25 years ago and it stuck in my head as a really weird interaction…..suddenly it’s all making sense!!! 😂
WEIRD INTERACTION. Do tell!!??
Kate I can totally relate :D I'm 53 with no diagnosis but i think ADHD with the childhood lack of love and support and instead becoming the scapegoat. I agree that the adhd brain + childhood troubles = a bigger problem. I haven't achieved much, the 1st year of 2 different degrees - 10 years apart. Anyway I feel not so alone in my experience. Apologies for this terrible writing!! hahaa in a hurry can't find the words! Loved this chat - be well lovely people xx
@pipwhitefeather Since ADHD is around 70% heritable, there is a very high likelihood that many of us had parents with undiagnosed ADHD. I am sure my own mother has it and she is also a covert narcissist. I vowed that I would be nothing like her. It does traumatise. I too, was the scapegoat.
I’ve turned my life around. Had a diagnosis in my 50s and manage the ADHD with diet, exercise and avoiding stress (downshifted job). One of my sons has it, but having had a loving, nurturing childhood, he is very successful, and has been with his fiancée 13 years. I think a nurturing, happy childhood is what makes a massive difference.
@@gilly5094 yes I've considered this. I believe my maternal grandmother was ADHD, and OCD. Her family didn't know how to deal with her and she would be sent to the basement to scrub the cellar floor - often. In old age she kept an immaculate home and when she was a mother she wouldn't let her kids brush their teeth in the bathroom because of mess - they did it in the kitchen. She wasn't a loving grandmother and my Aquarian mother was equally unemotional but she does care. It's my siblings that I struggle with and their judgments of my life. My step father was also emotionally challenged and ruled 'by fear'. He was a bully really. Wow blah blah blah... who cares eh? I'm still rockin' this crazy life...30% anyway...hahaha sorry on my second glass of wine...happy Tuesday folks!
keep going. exercise helps, always.
@@katespicer276 off to play badminton soon... ;)
This has just blown me apart.
My 14 year old son is undergoing analysis for ADHD and I’ve consequently been listening and reading about it.
This woman is describing my life in a nutshell. I’m 58 soon and most of my life has been wasted.
This interview has convinced me I need to pursue getting tested of ADHD and ASD. I have suspected for years I am dealing with probably both, or at least one.
I am also in my mid 50's and was diagnosed two years ago.....I can relate so much to what Kate is saying, all I can say is thank god for the late diagnosis, saved my life.
Crunchy food!!!! I had no idea that was a symptom!!! I thought I just had no self control. Thank you!
Thanks for being so real and vulnerable Kate. Your interview was so validating. Too many ways to name that I could relate. I’m 50, a MH therapist with two neurodivergent kids and somehow just figured it out this past year.
Fantastic interview! Thank you Kate for sharing ❤
I was so blessed that I had great doctors since child hood, they knew I needed my dopamine from Music, keyboard, rollerskating, drawing, and dancing. My grandma gave me structure and that was very supportive.
I’m 40 and I’m so glad my peer group were more accepting than this. Only 15 years apart and so much change in opinion. I relate with almost everything but so glad was less friction for me.
I see myself sitting there saying all of the same things. Thank you for sharing your story❤
wow, I can relate to so much of what has been said, but i have never thought of myself as having ADHD because Im not hyperactive, if anything i spend so much time incredibly tired. I completely resonate with the negative self talk, the 2 year relationships that go from almost obsessive to disinterested. Career wise i have always been a perfectonist and over achiever but I would work myself into burn out and still try to seek validation even when i was treated badly. I dont have family relationships and until recently because i was a military brat, i didnt really have true friends I could trust, I tended to do whatever i needed to do to fit in but i never really did. I still dont know if my experience is ADHD, Autism, CPTSD or a mixture of all of them and getting help is almost impossible. Add Perimenopause and hormone fluxuations on top and life is fucking hard...
AMEN!!
Be kinder with yourself, you’re beautiful ❤
Was really absorbed in your 'trauma narrative' and then saw your TRAINERS and am now 💯% distracted 😅
Lovely interview thank you, (self) diagnosing AUDHD in my fifties, esp after an occupational psychologist called the ADHD.... Need to find the flip side...
I see this interview was six years ago and hope you're both doing really well, maybe an update? 😊
Is a two year honeymoon period with a company you work for also normal with oxytocin and ADHD?
Same for me re the children. Was always anxious about perpetuating the chaos and coping with the tiredness and organisation of it, plus the boredom aspects of eg 'going back to school' through your children.
Some really fascinating self awareness. Shame before and after diagnosis.
People around can often sympathise with the diagnosis but not live/ work with its chaotic aspects.... 🤔
interview came out one day ago!
This Podcast triggert so much, make me cry. It could be me, who sit there - just that i am not diagnosed
Wow, Kate this is absolutely the best episodes because of how honest you are. So raw, real and honest and I relate on so many levels with so many things. Thank you so much for being so authentic.
So glad I stumbled on this - so many parallels! Made me tear up to hear Kate describe the cacophony of internal voices and see the effect over the years. I also just assumed everyone was like this - what a shock to discover that no, this is anomalous and it’s the reason for some of my best and worst experiences.
She is a wonderful, honest interview. She should try being alone. A huge success even with ADHD. I am grateful to not be in prison or living on the street as a self medicating addict.
This episode with Kate Spicer has been my favourite in terms of how much I relate to her outlook and her journey. I only encountered the ADHD Chatter Podcast recently and have found it very informative and affirmative. A heartfelt thanks to Alex Partridge, the guests and everyone else who contributes to making this.
This could have been my interview! Still undiagnosed at 46 but I now understand why I behaved the way I did up until recently - now I manage my brain a lot better (but it’s still a struggle!)
What a remarkable interview. Kate sounds like a highly intelligent, articulate woman who is honest and humorous
I relate. I still have imposter syndrome. It’s hard. I am autistic too and I think I feel just really sad and confused. 😢
keep going. we endure
@katespicer276. Kate - thanks for doing this interview. I've always watched u as years ago I loosely knew one of yr relatives. Due to that link I wud notice yr name & read yr articles. I was diagnosed last summer after 2 years waiting on referral list as problems occurred not of my doing making delays unavoidable. I was then diagnosed Autistic in December. I'm a few years older than u. . I've just been dismissed from my job because they don't want to make adjustments 4 my new diagnosis of Audhd. Obviously this makes me feel doubly shamed as I've felt shamed by them since I told them about my initial referral. So now I'm managing massive changes & financial instability, only a few weeks after being released from hospital (after a week there because the constant stress affected my body where I nearly died if sepsis). Hopefully as one stressful door closes, other doors will open. I would like to be respected & appreciated for me - with my neurodiversity. If u had doubts about doing this interview, please be reassured u have done the right thing. This interview not so 'coincidentally' popped up in my feed. I can see so many others in the comments section stating they have valued this interview & wish to thank you both for doing it. I adored crisps and ate 2 packets a day at times. Since being hospitalised I can only eat low fat crisps and I have half a packet a day now. They were a comfort food dopamine hit b 4, for sure. I've subbed to u. Bravo Kate. X.
❤
It IS a consumer decision and it is a class thing - I'm in middle life and anyone I know who is "professional" (ie wealthy) is going private and getting meds, anyone else gets to be lazy messy low achieving addict. Could be worse tho, could be lazy messy addict in prison or in massive debt
thank you Kate for opening up and sharing!!! Great to listen to this awesome discussion!! I am turning 60, so you are young kate!!!
Totally related to Kate!
Kate Spencer, thank you so much for sharing your explanation of two-year relationships. I never understood, until you shared, why I experienced the very same, complete with hyper focus on the person while it lasted.
Crying, like I've been let out of a cage, happy I'm free but realizing how much ive missed by being in the cage. This was like looking in a mirror. When you hear your thoughts outside your own head, it makes me feel more real, like I'm not a ghost. Thank you Kate, you have helped me.
I feel seen. Thank you for sharing. 🙏
Thank you so much to both of you. This was so very helpful Momma will be 50 in 2 weeks dx at 43 after my daughter’s diagnosis. WILD RIDE perimenopause is killing me and medication trials are draining. Thank you for this podcast I related so much.
Wow!! In the top ten of all your interviews!! So informative. Can so relate
Been diagnosed for 4 years and you’ve understood my experience better than I have been to able articulate it.
Whoa, hold up. I'm about halfway through this vid having been diagnosed with ADHD nearly 2 months ago. Im 42 and my life is a trainwreck. What is freaking me out right now is how many things she as talked about that I was literally just talking about to my therapist yesterday. And yeah, I genuinely thought that everybody was like this and could just handle it better. Mind blown. Thank you so much for this, it's really helping make sense of this at this early stage ❤
42 and freshly diagnosed and I resonate so much.. after diagnosis is a tough period to go through❤️🩹❤️ regards xx
I really wish she had given her opinions about ADHD being a pathologising of personality. It would be great to have her on again in a few months' time. She's great to listen to.
What's a pathologising of personality?
@@deliobaoduzzi6450 basically means making personality traits a medical condition, which is what a lot of people say about ADHD/Autism.
Do you mean that it's not adhd but just a personality disorder that has not been discovered yet ? Really? Very interesting . If this is true where can I find more infos about it ?
@@deliobaoduzzi6450 no. If you hear someone say that adhd is just “pathologising personality” what they’re saying is they think it’s not a real disorder, just a personality type that has been labeled one. Does that make sense? A lot of people think this. Doesn’t mean it’s true, it’s just an opinion. I think there is some merit to it but it’s more complex than that.
Kate is a badass! Would love a second interview in the future.
Thank you so much for doing this interview Kate, i had a few omg moments, recognising past relationship patterns, negative self talk, eating issues. I still get hungry hippo in my head everytime I feel hungry and a failure narrative.
I haven't been formally diagnosed, but my youngest son has been and has autism as well and it's on both sides of my biological family.
my god the amount of the conversation, that kate speaks about makes so much sense for most of my life my first ever relationship lasted 2 years!! i’m adhd and autistic big love Kate
Mind blowingly relatable. Thank you for truthfulness.
TY for sharing your story! I’m amazed you had a career without prescription medication; I’ve returned to college after over a decade only due to my stimulants. Dr K has a VOD the reason stimulants do work for hyperactivity is because it’ll elevate the executive functions so you can focus and pick what to do. The pandemic brought a brutal shortage of ADHD medicine as so many got diagnosed in USA.
If anyone has similar issues mentioned seek at least 2 Doc’s to be assessed, it took 4 doctors for my diagnosis. All of the stigma she mentions are all so prevalent, maybe even the host?