@@martininthematrix With this king of girl it's clear it is just a one-night stand situation, but three texts really ?! Seems a little desperate to me, rather than entitled... It's just that for Todd it's a game and he wants to win at ALL COST EVERY TIME, I think it's a bit too much and a bit crazy, I mean who gives a fuck, if you f**ck one more or one less hot girt out there- it won't make you any happier man, have some self respect - double text whatever, entitled alright, triple text - I'd say go away you cr**zy moth******cker, there are more important things in life than sick hot girls out there ;D
hi todd i have bought online dating academy i have written to support 05/18. I have not received a reply. I can neither log in to the program nor to any of my other programs. julian
Normally, my pride would never allow me to double text, let alone triple text. But seeing you and how you handled the situation with such a finesse gave me a whole new perspective on the matter. I'm coming back to game after a long pause and I'm really glad you're still putting out amazing content. Thanks, Todd! You're the man!
I like Todd, but I disagree with Todd on this. IME flakey people is an inherent character trait not a circumstantial issue. That goes for men and women.
@@jfkst1 It can be. But I don't think we can judge that when the person doesn't know you yet. After you meet in person if they still get flakey it's another story
@@RafaelGringo I've noticed across genders and circumstances. I have plenty of close male friends that are simply flakey. Work, leisure, etc. Same thing with some women I've dated. Though I do find it much more prevalent with attractive women for the obvious reasons that it is less consequential for them.
@Jay Son I disagree. People have full lives that do not involve you. Things come up. Generally, you are told "never double text" but in dating, not just hooking up, you need to. All of this advice to me is pre first date. After that, assuming things went well she either will change or you drop her. But trust me, she will change if she likes you.
@@SqueamishPuppet Outside of absolute emergencies that only happen a few times in a lifetime, all it takes is seconds to notify someone with smartphones. If I'm not worth a few seconds of your time, then I am not worth anything. And like I said this is consistent for men and women work leisure family friend etc. I work on call and have for years and I have NEVER left someone hanging on plans.
Great video, there is nothing like a perfect marriage or relationship, I learnt that in everything there is always a solution, 5 years ago I and my wife divorced because we were having some difficulties in our marriage but we are back together ,it was a really bad phase but we got through it
there is a lot of sense in what you just said and I hope mine works the same way too, we are currently separated but I cant live without her, I love her so much. wish I can get her back I can do anything to have her back, we have tried therapy amongst other things
@@DarylSimpson58 its always difficult to let someone you love go, but in my case I had the help of a spiritual adviser who saved my marriage from collapsing her name is SHELLY RENEE WHITE.
It's sad that flaking has become socially acceptable behavior. The mindset that a woman doesn't owe a man a response after they have already agreed to meet shows how much a man's time and worth have become devalued. Sure, he's handling it well, but it would be nice if more women didn't behave like this in the first place.
I have the same mindset man A high value guy has allocated his time to a certain activity and that didn't go down that makes me a bit butthurt and it shows but we need to exert more self control for better results.
I get the point Todd makes in the video and it's generally good advice but she is still wasting your time. No matter how he tries to spin it you got punked and you go back for more after being disrespected.
I agree with you but the honest truth is that people who aren’t in relationships or have never even met aren’t really obligated. Again, I agree with everything you’ve said but that part is true.
Thanks, great comeback! Back in the days when online dating was a new thing, you still could get away with calling her out on the bad behavior she demonstrated. A good portion of women didn't shy away from a basic conflict like this then and would actually reply and apologize. Today, with the enormous attention they get from dating apps and on social media, girls just ghost you and think they have endless opportunities with someone who would put up with their shit. The masculine trait of indifference they acquired over time which makes ghosting a serious issue having normal communication leading to getting to know each other IRL. Those girls mostly will end up with guys demonstrating beta-male behavior putting up with all their shit out of fear of losing her, which is exactly the opposite of what they actually want to see in a masculine man. The sad truth is that communication in this day and age is degenerating, and so does our social life.
I had a 44 year old two weeks ago that wanted to switch the venue, the time, then again the time all in a matter of 2 days. I told her to take a hike before the date and she was shocked. She has been single her entire life, never even asked to get married. I suspect she does this all the time, bulldozes the guys, they lose their backbone, and over time she loses respect for them and moves on. Rinse and repeat.
I like Todd but I disagree with him here. When a girl ghost me, I delete the number and don't pay her a second thought. It is a huge red flag. This is the girls first impression, when tries to impress you the most and she ghosts. It speaks of her character.
Nah, I agree with him that at this stage, you are just a random dude to her. If you have met before, if she knows you already even it's a first date, or if it's a second date, then he'd be a huge red flag. At this stage? Nope. Do whatever you feel like doing. I'm in sales and even super interested clients never call me back, are hard to reach... yet want in and eventually buy. People are busy, have lives, and in this case girls are hesitant for 1st dates. What Todd shows is to help close some of those deals. If sending these texts feel beneath you, well, it is what it is.
Girls shit test you always. If you delete/block or whatever you are communicating something. If you got flaked, just do nothing. If she liked you, she will follow up.
This video is amazing! So many guys need this. I was the low value guy calling her out. Once I learned to act and think high value, my self-esteem was raised to someone of higher value, making things much easier. One thing I felt was left out is that once the date is set, say 2-4 days away, do not send texts until that follow-up text. Most women do not want to hear from you between that time. If she texts you between that time, then it is okay to respond.
A high value guy has allocated his time to a certain activity and that didn't go down that makes me a bit butthurt and it shows need to exert more self control. Can you help me out of this mindset?
@Prashun 'PC' Chakraborty its okay for it to hurt a bit. You are human, but first, you need to do the inner work to be completely whole on your own. Know yourself completely and be able to "fill your own cup." At that point, you should have some pretty good self-confidence to handle rejection and to have an abundance mindset. You may need to fake abundance at first/ knowing there are other girls out there just like her. Abundance will come from a bit of practice. You don't need 10 girls to feel abundance. You only need 1 or 2. For me, talking to more than 2 or 3 girls at a time was exhausting, and it was hard to keep track of who I had told what.
@@SqueamishPuppet Yeah as over the years my skills have gotten better abundance is averagish for me but you know if a girl cancels on you even the most abundant guy can't really call a backup for a backup date right? Everyone has a schedule.
@Prashun 'PC' Chakraborty I did that once! Haha it ended up working out well. I asked a girl last minute to a concert that I had tickets to but was planning on taking another girl to.
I actually disagree with the premise of the video. You didn’t have a date set up imo. Dates involve times and locations. We will meet up Thursday night is not a plan. Thursday 6pm polo lounge is a plan. I also wonder if he hadn’t sent the other two messages might she have responded anyway?
Exactly. As long as you have a definite date planned with a time and place, there’s no need to contact them prior unless it’s letting them know you’re running late or letting them know where specifically to meet you.
If a girl likes you and wants to see you, she will. If she’s not into you, a follow up text won’t do anything but make her run away from you even more. If she doesn’t respond or doesn’t turn up for the date (assuming you planned a specific day/time/location etc) just let her go, pursue people who put in effort and enthusiasm to see you.
@@jfkst1 Death in the family or sick relatives should be regarded as disinterest. Delete the number instantly. I don't save online numbers in my phone. Unless we've dated, smashed, and are consistent.
Seems like a lot of work for next to nothing in return. What he Todd did is an example of going out on a high note...but still too much work for next to nothing in return.
@@SqueamishPuppet the texts he presented are very rare to happen to most people. If a girl is 50/50 about you and you’re double texting or reacting to her negatively, all you’re doing is making it easy for her to blow you off. All it does it make you seem needy and unconfident.
The "hotter the girl" the more likely she is to go silent? Dude, the super average ones go silent and flake on me if I ever get them to schedule a date(which was twice in two years). There is some serious average girl entitlement out there. And I'm a tall muscular guy who has walked runway as a male model(not famous and have almost never been paid, but still). These chicks only accept men HIGH above their looksmatch and if you arent super rich giga Chad, you get NONE. I live near Chicago, however. Where you live might be different.
Hoeflation is real. Started seeing the shift summer 2022 - bang average 5s acting like 8s, on who I would have originally pulled same night lay. 6ft 2 muscular guy as well. I have too much self-esteem to cater to the bs. I have checked out of the dating market. Was curious to see what Todd V had to say as he was a big influence on my game. Goes to show, one needs to constantly stoop lower to get that golden V. Once you are past the 100+ mark, cba with effort. Not worth it. Either it is simple or it is not.
Exactly. I was put in the same situation. She literally lovebombed me in a club and stuck her tongue down my throat & then bit me. Note I didn't even know her prior. Then she became the distant one, after several weeks. Girl was a solid 7, but far from a model specimen.
This is terrible advice. Never, ever text a girl that flaked you. Its a HUGE shit test or she doesn’t like you like that. Either way its best to just mirror her and go silent. Dont delete/block cause its a bit childish. She will follow up if shes interested.
I have the same mindset- A high value guy has allocated his time to a certain activity and that didn't go down that makes me a bit butthurt and it shows but we need to exert more self control to get more lays.
@Prashun 'PC' Chakraborty this behavior should only be exeptable on a first meet, which you shouldn't have much set aside for that. Something with no time constraints like drinks or coffee. Another thing that minimizes flaking is to not set up dates on Friday or Saturday nights. That's when they are more likely hanging out with friends/ ditch you for their friends.
One of the more unique qualities you have is having no fear to break the accepted mold on dating rules and really experiment. I'm sure it's one of the main reasons for your success.
Most women don't flake because they're nervous, they do it because a better option came along. And if she's coming back to you it's because things didn't work out with the other guy. Try again if you want, but just be aware you were her second choice.
Most of the reasons why girls ghost you is because they found another date first and you were the second option. But just because you were the second option, it doesn't mean you're the one with the least value. Because on the date you get to show the girl that " your date was a better experience than her previous one. In the end it's all about the experience and the quality of interaction you have with the girl at all times. Whether it be text or actual talking or date. You don't have to be a high value person to understand this. The value comes with the time spent with a woman.
that was a HUGE sticking point to me but it became very easy when I learned how to sexualize conversations online or in person... start with very subtle jokes and increase to more direct jokes depending on the reaction.
Ugh. I don't know where to start with this one. "this is not a huge character flaw that she flaked" um. Sorry, but yes it is. Doesn't matter how common it is these days, if she's doing it now, she's not going to dramatically change later. People who don't have (un)common decency aren't suddenly going to become decent once they're in a relationship with you. "she cares enough to lie to me "...oh my God. How deluded! Let's be clear, there's nothing high value about a woman who flakes and ghosts. I agree with Todd on his advice to not get whiny and try to blame them, but why would you bother to try and rescue a situation like this? She either doesn't like you or she's got issues, so no point trying to flog a dead horse. If it was a genuine thing that came up, and she genuinely likes you more than an ounce, she'd feel awful, be apologetic and try to rearrange.
@@yuhmuhfuhkuh This particular case might be genuine. Hard to know. I was more disagreeing with the things Tom said was saying in general than saying this girl specifically was a liar.
If it was a genuine thing that came up, she should have texted from the hospital explaining that she had an emergency and couldn't make the date. It takes 30 seconds to send that text. It's a matter of courtesy and effort.
1. Haha. I usually never make plans just via text... thanks for reminding me why 🙃. If you'd like to do a quick phone call to see if the banter is good, Imk. We probably should have done that in the first place 😂 2. It's okay, I wasn't actually inconvenienced much, just confused. But (whatever excuse she had show empathy)
Interesting perspective, thanks for sharing. I personality believe that a high value man in a position of abundance wouldn’t double text, let alone triple text, as he would instead just schedule a date with another girl at the same time. If the girl is interested she’ll get back to you and then it’s up to you if you wanna give her a second chance or ghost her.
@@ShayPatrickCormacTHEHUNTER Exactly 💯 I have options, but clearly those options don't have my attention or trust enough to be focusing on them at the moment. Probably did something or showed Ted flags. I only ever pursue women who show high interest, or we know each other, have mutual friends, or run into each other often, and it's clear that she's not just being nice or fishing for attention. But once a woman I find attractive has met the requirements, and we've set a date, or maybe already had a good first or second date, I have become curious and genuinely want to get to know more about her. She's no longer a stranger, I am interested in this specific woman for whatever specific qualities and compatibilities she's displayed so far. And that's why having options doesn't make it any better when you get ghosted by someone you've dated for a few weeks or months. I don't do apps so it's almost never a blind date with a stranger. IDC how many women do it now, it's the same level of F'D up to ghost someone for no reason after setting a date and confirming right before.
The third msg is a HUGE overkill, a direct contradiction to abundance - a guy with abundance mentality would NEVER bother to send that third text and why should he, given that he knows he has many options on the same level and even more so, if he's is already dating regularly different girls...
I agree with you. After setting up a date, i'll usually let the girl send the follow up confirmation prior to the date. This shows me shes actually anticipating the date and the chance of flaking is extremely low. If there's a date at 8 and by 7 there's no contact, those are the times I've most often experienced a flake, even if i send a follow up message. If she truly wants to see you, she will make the effort
Well, Todd sent the 3rd message and ended up in a decent position, likely still getting a date with the girl. If he didn't send the message, the lead would've been gone. So, I guess it's up to you to decide which outcome you prefer.
@@masamangtao6417 This is not the point man- she didn't deserve a third text and if I'm a guy with an abundance mentality, with high self esteem and many options, regularly dating different girls, I couldn't care less about getting a date with this particular flaky girl or not - this is in direct contradiction to being an abundant guy with high self respect, many options and clear boundaries and there is no way around this! Why pushing that hard for possibly a sick, crazy girl, if you really believe in yourself and you know that you have many other options, just think about it ;) ... Lastly, I can tell you that with this kind of girl even after a reply of the third text etc... she can even confirm 10 mins before the date and still flake and just leave you there waiting and not answering her phone after that - you have no idea how crazy girls and people in general could be, if you believe that it is worth pushing that kind of girl with this huge red flag after the 2nd text, the reply after the 3rd text means really nothing in the real world...
10:35 Idk, I've been doing pretty well with women as just viewing them as employees. If an interviewee skipped an interview I wouldn't get butt-hurt about it, and women do have most of the attributes of an employee when you think about it, when your money runs out, so do they. If you view women simply as employees, and realize they view you as resources providers, which is basically an employer, then you'll better understand the dynamic that THEY behave within. They will lie and say the opposite is true, their BEHAVIOUR tells the Truth tho.
8:06 To me 8/10 times This message will be received as you outing her for ghosting I would never consider saying "Thanks for reminding me why" It.. Seems a little passive agressive butthurt Maybe its the language barrier maybe im an uncalobrated beach "🙃"
@3:17 In the many dozens of times I've tried this, it has NEVER worked. If I have ever double texted the girl is simply not interested. IME double texting at best gets a response back to why they flaked and never gets them out on the date. And yes I do it well before the actual planned date.
Here he didnt really make plans except for a part of a day (thursday evening) He doesnt know where to meet or what they are going to do something active or casual Where she lives or works to pick her up Would you just take the L and not even send a text that morning saying "we still on for today? "
@@kehbab I always make definitive plans. My follow up is similar to Todd's 2nd message too. I'll try a similar 3rd but to me it does come across as desperate.
That’s exactly how you should handle it. In her case, it was probably more likely than not. But, it doesn’t matter. She’s human like the rest of us and until you establish some rapport with a person, she’s nervous. Like Todd said, if you handle it like a pro, you actually gain points - and advance the situation over and above where you were originally.
If i get ghosted and we're not seriously dating, I just move on. Not going to double text, not going to call her out or stalk her social media. Heck, not even going to block her. Next option up. In my past experience, the ghoster has hit me up weeks or months down the road like 80-90% of the time with a variant of "Hey Stranger" or they remember my birthday. At that point I may or may not engage her depending on what I have going on with my current rotation. But hey, not knocking this technique if it works for you
Women who flake is actually doing this to see what your attitude is like, if you never respond after they flaked on you, they’ll wait for months because you basically passed the shit test but in a different and longer process than Todd v, because for months of you not responding to them they see that you forgot all about them after that they flaked on you and they want you to set up the date all over again. In my opinion i like Todd strategy better because it forces the woman to hold herself accountable without you actually calling her out on her bs. These women know what they’re doing but there’s no need to call her out on anything unless you already place boundaries on her in the relationship and she ended up mistakenly or purposely broke that boundary.
This situation definitely called for follow-up. Based on their text exchange, he never specified a definite time. When she mentioned, "I should be free by evening," he took it as confirmation. That's precisely where he went wrong. A better follow-up would have been, "Great! How does 8pm sound?" Providing something concrete that she could unequivocally agree to. Saying "Thursday sounds promising" doesn't establish a clear date.
I agree totally with the messaging part ("not reacting butthurt") and that you want to maintain the chances for yourself, but really you have 𝗿𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁 and 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝘀𝗼𝗻 to see her as a lesser woman without showing that immediately. Because her behavior IS rude. And you don't have to say that immediately and will see later, if her story was bullshit oder not
Regardless of the reason she flaked whether she was nervous and made up an excuse or legitimately had an emergency, or maybe your initial interaction wasn't strong enough. Not acting butt hurt will set you WAY apart from the guys she's talking to and give you massive value. The average guy or girl isn't this emotionally intelligent.
I agree, no reason to be butt hurt but clearly she is a lower quality woman, and yes her flaking and lame excuses are the reason to see her in that light. And frankly, she does it bc we as men excuse women from being accountable, simply bc we want p*ssy too much.
Don't buy that nervous or cold feet excuse. A woman getting graped is lightning strike odds like you getting a second date. Not acting butthurt may be good, but what if Tyrone hit her up? Yeah, block her.
As a twenty-something, I feel like other twenty-somethings would find it very annoying or even unnerving if I called them. They'd probably be asking themselves if I'm actually in my 40's.
I got that same accuse before, and it was the second time she flaked on me. Both dates were set up thru text. Once she met me and got to know me, she never flaked again lol. I honestly think it could be a test, to find out if you’re needy or not? Which you passed with flying colours lol. Just found your content today and gotta say, I’m very impressed with your coaching. I’ve leaned a lot in just a few hours, so thank you 🙏
OR and that’s more likely to happen like 80% of the time…she’s just not interested. So you really should tread carefully as if her interest is so low she can’t be arsed to reply then maybe she’s not the one.
11:00 I remember once I invited a girl out and she told me she was in hull picking up a puppy for her Nan. But she had left her Snapchat maps on what was saying she was still in town 🤣
Tell her it won't work out, and send her a pic with you and another girl. This is why the 1 strike rule is key. FAIAP Female excuses are disinterest 255/256 times.
Love this video. Great advice on how to be an empathetic (and high value) human being who lives in the real world. Also, Todd, when is Week 2 of ODA dropping? I'm ready to gooo!
Yep, we learn to be cool, calm, not blame her while not blaming ourselves either, believe their stories at face value, give her an easy way out, all to get you know what ha ha. No wonder gals are addicted to the flirt period. So many guys act immediately butthurt and all pissy about it, we stand out. Using emoticons here is the key as texts can be interpreted many ways. You did make me realize that the way she behaves at that point is not an indication of how she will act later on, even if we don't think highly of that behavior. They really have more emergencies that normal people have LOL
If she flakes or ghosts you, have some dignity and DO NOT reach out to her, you'll look desperate if you do. Leave her behind with no communications and move on and never respond if she reaches out in the future.
This is great advice. I am pretty good at texting and if you get blown off or she flakes, especially when she does not know you well, it can be a test. She wants to see if your rear end is hurt or freak on her. My response now is actually to ignore the flake. I dont write back, call her out, really do not text back. Believe it or not after a day or two the girl writes back just like she did here with some version of sorry! My day was sooo busy! Cat died! Dog died! Half family died! LOL I agree never call it out. It is BS, she just was not feeling it probably or got nervous or it was a test (that you just passed). Then I just say that is fine make a joke you actually met the president, famous person or something happened great she missed. She will laugh. Then you make new plans and can kid "you will show up right?" And she will. When I was young I did get hurt and called them out. Yeah, I did not want to see them after and it is rude, but it is low value. Better to act like nothing happened and presume it is a test. If she does not text back after silence..you kind of have your answer just like with a cool text anyway. It is a permanent flake and you move on. Dont call her out, just ignore it and unmatch.
All this may work an all, but are you really ending up with a girl who TRULY wants to go on a date with you? If you are not her first and enthusiastic choice, why even bother. You know she didn't forget, she didn't have an emergency, she is just spoiled and irresponsible. Why even waste your time with a woman like that?
Actually, the first mistake you made was taking a day to respond while in the process of making plans. Second mistake was not setting up a specific time you’re meeting. C’mon man.
A girl here. Might forget, miss the text, think I responded, but usually also not like the guy enough. A reminder or call definitely increases the possibility to meet in my case. But more than one reminder feels pushy. The Haha message here btw is a huge turn off for me.
If a flake calls back after the date provided you didn't block her number, make her come over. Or have her send you her address. No date until sex happens. If she balks at that, then block her.
Funny how inflated the dating market has become, even seasoned veterans need to stoop lower then they would a couple of years ago to get the same results.
Hi Todd, I've met this girl through work connections. She lives in a different city, she travels for work. We hang out 1 time last year and then again later in the year . texting picked up after meeting again. Mentioned I might have been in her city at the beginning of the year and she told me to let her now when. We planned on catching up for an hour or so to go to an exhibition. I booked flight and accommodation and 1 week prior she cancelled stating she wouldn't have been in that city that weekend. She offered to refund me the exhibition ticket, which I have accepted. I didn't ask for explanation just said I was sorry to hear that. not sure what happened
I know you said she might not be flaky as a girlfriend but that's like saying if a guy shows up to a date looking like a slob that doesn't mean he's going to be a slob as a boyfriend. If You're just getting to know someone and they behave a certain way why wouldn't you take the seriously into consideration?
I'm honestly so tired of chasing after these trash, ambivalent, horrible creatures. They treat people like complete trash then complain that they can't find anyone. No thanks.
we all know deep down somewhere that if a girl does not respond to a text message its not going well and she just doesn't want to respond. we just hate that idea :D
7.25: i have options and other shit to do in my everyday life. Yet i don't think no-call-no-show and outright ghosting are honorable actions. I don't find it funny in the slightest. Ghosting is a social disease and sometimes, not always, girls DO deserve to be put in their place and called out on it. IDC if i lose the girl. Standing up for myself and self-respect are waaaay higher in my values ranking than trying to "game" a girl just so i eventually get the date.
Hell no. If you flake on me I’m not talking to you again. Total lack of respect for your time. I’m a very busy guy with a lot of responsibilities. I’m usually having to move things around at work to accommodate time with her. This dude must not respect his own time. Simp!
COMMUNICATION in general was better before texting, and people should go back to that, to actual phone CALLS. I understand that texting has some conveniences, but so does hitting the drive thru at McDonalds, it doesnt mean it's good for you.
I kind of disagree with Todd about when a girl makes up a lie and flakes. If she does this, she is showing that she thinks she can just lie to you, and that is my problem with it, not so much that I didn't meet her, but that she thought she could lie, and female lies are disrespect in my opinion ..
Best follow-up text: hey looks like I'm going to be running a little bit late tonight. I'll see you at 8:15 instead of 8:00. If she responds, you're good. If not, either stay home or go out and be prepared to talk to other girls that you might meet at the venue instead
None of this "let me know when youre free" stuff unless she won't commit to a time, then it's a takeaway move - she can feel that you're done trying. Her: I should be free by evening You: cool, meet me at 7 at xyz restaurant. Let me know if work goes late but you may have some catching up to do on the gin and tonics ;)
Gentlemen just walk away! Never re text them. Walking away regardless lets you know your worth. He just said “she cared enough to lie to me” WTF! No no no ! don’t ever listen to that kind of advice. Walk away and find another woman.
Accountability is a woman's kryptonite. Navigate the muddy waters of dating the best way you can, gentlemen; and focus on having extra options so you don't put too many steaks on the same grill.
I will be honest if you have an abundance mindset and good game And she ghost you I don’t know why she doesn’t just get canceled there’s hundreds of thousands of other women out there to me this is childish and adolescent behavior and speak poorly of her character. My thought is next.
when girl cancels plans last minute. wait some time. Then text this: 'hey actually my evening just opend up :D' then wait few more minutes and.. say this 'OOh sorry wrong number'.
I love Todd but I’m surprised at how bad his text game is. Long texts are a cardinal sin and all of his texts through 8 mins in the vid are 4-7 lines long which comes off hella needy
But she is responding similarly. I don't see any problem with mirroring her texts. It only comes off needy when she is giving nothing to the conversation.
This is mostly non sense. If she’s flat in text, she’s basically giving you permission to take the lead. So instead of overthinking all this sh** like a moron, tell her “be at whatever restaurant (YOU PICK THE DAMN RESTAURANT not her) at 7, dress nice, we’re going to have a nice night out together.” AND THATS IT UNTIL YOU SEE HER. And just like that, you’re in charge and she will be so happy to see you when the date comes. It’s like abstinence for a woman to not get attention from a man even for a day sometimes. You’re making the date a special evening between two people. If you want to know more about her to see if she’s even worth taking out that’s fine, but asking a bunch of questions about how she sees her life in 10 years is a buzzkill too. Its boring. Women want men that lead in a kind and respectful way. There’s nothing rude or harsh about it. And if she takes that the wrong way, delete the number because it will be nothing but headaches with her. You want a woman that follows, not a woman that challenges you every time you want to go out!
Tod, what do you think about a situation when a girl just doesn't accept or confirm the meeting - so you go silent. for a few days. then - you just text her again, like it never happened. doesn't it show non neediness in the best way? I am talking about day game girls only.
Heres the best way to text a woman. Text her back 1-2 texts and when you ask her a question, wait literally forever for her to answer it. If she cant answer a simple question, shes not interested.
The first high value girl i started dating seriously after my separation flaked/postponed on me on a date she organised and I lost my shit because I value my time. My ego come straight into play and gave her a serving about integrity and other invites from friends I had socially but turned away coz she invited me out to spend time with each other. It wasnt my first dumb arse mistake and yep shes gone now.. and on on i watch and grow from Todd
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For more on texting, as well as my complete online dating system, check out toddoda.com
If she were indeed lying, wouldn't you expect that, if you ended up in a relationship, she'd keep lying to you? As in: Red flag?
@@martininthematrix With this king of girl it's clear it is just a one-night stand situation, but three texts really ?! Seems a little desperate to me, rather than entitled... It's just that for Todd it's a game and he wants to win at ALL COST EVERY TIME, I think it's a bit too much and a bit crazy, I mean who gives a fuck, if you f**ck one more or one less hot girt out there- it won't make you any happier man, have some self respect - double text whatever, entitled alright, triple text - I'd say go away you cr**zy moth******cker, there are more important things in life than sick hot girls out there ;D
You lost a lot of my respect here, Todd
hi todd i have bought online dating academy i have written to support 05/18. I have not received a reply. I can neither log in to the program nor to any of my other programs. julian
“She cares enough to lie to me” 😂😂😂😂
Normally, my pride would never allow me to double text, let alone triple text. But seeing you and how you handled the situation with such a finesse gave me a whole new perspective on the matter. I'm coming back to game after a long pause and I'm really glad you're still putting out amazing content. Thanks, Todd! You're the man!
I like Todd, but I disagree with Todd on this. IME flakey people is an inherent character trait not a circumstantial issue. That goes for men and women.
@@jfkst1 It can be. But I don't think we can judge that when the person doesn't know you yet. After you meet in person if they still get flakey it's another story
@@RafaelGringo
I've noticed across genders and circumstances. I have plenty of close male friends that are simply flakey. Work, leisure, etc. Same thing with some women I've dated. Though I do find it much more prevalent with attractive women for the obvious reasons that it is less consequential for them.
@Jay Son I disagree. People have full lives that do not involve you. Things come up. Generally, you are told "never double text" but in dating, not just hooking up, you need to. All of this advice to me is pre first date. After that, assuming things went well she either will change or you drop her. But trust me, she will change if she likes you.
@@SqueamishPuppet
Outside of absolute emergencies that only happen a few times in a lifetime, all it takes is seconds to notify someone with smartphones. If I'm not worth a few seconds of your time, then I am not worth anything. And like I said this is consistent for men and women work leisure family friend etc. I work on call and have for years and I have NEVER left someone hanging on plans.
Great video, there is nothing like a perfect marriage or relationship, I learnt that in everything there is always a solution, 5 years ago I and my wife divorced because we were having some difficulties in our marriage but we are back together ,it was a really bad phase but we got through it
there is a lot of sense in what you just said and I hope mine works the same way too, we are currently separated but I cant live without her, I love her so much. wish I can get her back I can do anything to have her back, we have tried therapy amongst other things
@@DarylSimpson58 its always difficult to let someone you love go, but in my case I had the help of a spiritual adviser who saved my marriage from collapsing her name is SHELLY RENEE WHITE.
@@MaryTongx this is helpful, I will look her up. I hope this works for me too, I really miss her.
No such thing as a perfect relationship
If she was seeing other dudes during the breakup period I wouldn’t take her back
Man, in every video Todd says wiser and wiser things! Thank you for existing Todd
Re!
So good
Maybe You should thank his mother. Ok, no.
It's sad that flaking has become socially acceptable behavior. The mindset that a woman doesn't owe a man a response after they have already agreed to meet shows how much a man's time and worth have become devalued. Sure, he's handling it well, but it would be nice if more women didn't behave like this in the first place.
I have the same mindset man A high value guy has allocated his time to a certain activity and that didn't go down that makes me a bit butthurt and it shows but we need to exert more self control for better results.
If anything, devalue happens to the flaker. unstable, unreliable and unworthy of a mans time. It's a mans shit test.
I get the point Todd makes in the video and it's generally good advice but she is still wasting your time. No matter how he tries to spin it you got punked and you go back for more after being disrespected.
I agree with you but the honest truth is that people who aren’t in relationships or have never even met aren’t really obligated. Again, I agree with everything you’ve said but that part is true.
@@WD00777 They should be obligated in the context of agreeing to plans while you get ready for them.
For a flaky girl, once I drew a stick figure drawing of me and the girl out on a date, photographed it and sent it to her… actually worked 😂
And you guys lived happily ever after?
@@KlutzyBoss she showed up, if he smashed that's a fairytale ending right there XD
Did you attach any text message with the picture?
That girl have no idea how much effort it took to make that date happen. :D
It’s more so patience than effort. But I see your point.
Thanks, great comeback! Back in the days when online dating was a new thing, you still could get away with calling her out on the bad behavior she demonstrated. A good portion of women didn't shy away from a basic conflict like this then and would actually reply and apologize. Today, with the enormous attention they get from dating apps and on social media, girls just ghost you and think they have endless opportunities with someone who would put up with their shit. The masculine trait of indifference they acquired over time which makes ghosting a serious issue having normal communication leading to getting to know each other IRL. Those girls mostly will end up with guys demonstrating beta-male behavior putting up with all their shit out of fear of losing her, which is exactly the opposite of what they actually want to see in a masculine man. The sad truth is that communication in this day and age is degenerating, and so does our social life.
I had a 44 year old two weeks ago that wanted to switch the venue, the time, then again the time all in a matter of 2 days. I told her to take a hike before the date and she was shocked. She has been single her entire life, never even asked to get married. I suspect she does this all the time, bulldozes the guys, they lose their backbone, and over time she loses respect for them and moves on. Rinse and repeat.
I like Todd but I disagree with him here. When a girl ghost me, I delete the number and don't pay her a second thought. It is a huge red flag. This is the girls first impression, when tries to impress you the most and she ghosts. It speaks of her character.
Nah, I agree with him that at this stage, you are just a random dude to her. If you have met before, if she knows you already even it's a first date, or if it's a second date, then he'd be a huge red flag. At this stage? Nope. Do whatever you feel like doing. I'm in sales and even super interested clients never call me back, are hard to reach... yet want in and eventually buy. People are busy, have lives, and in this case girls are hesitant for 1st dates. What Todd shows is to help close some of those deals. If sending these texts feel beneath you, well, it is what it is.
If You have they options, i agree with you. If You don't, I agree with Todd
Girls shit test you always. If you delete/block or whatever you are communicating something. If you got flaked, just do nothing. If she liked you, she will follow up.
@@MVProfits ju
@@marianostarosiliz Flaking is considered a shit test now? yikes, not worth it.
This video is amazing! So many guys need this. I was the low value guy calling her out. Once I learned to act and think high value, my self-esteem was raised to someone of higher value, making things much easier. One thing I felt was left out is that once the date is set, say 2-4 days away, do not send texts until that follow-up text. Most women do not want to hear from you between that time. If she texts you between that time, then it is okay to respond.
A high value guy has allocated his time to a certain activity and that didn't go down that makes me a bit butthurt and it shows need to exert more self control. Can you help me out of this mindset?
@Prashun 'PC' Chakraborty its okay for it to hurt a bit. You are human, but first, you need to do the inner work to be completely whole on your own. Know yourself completely and be able to "fill your own cup." At that point, you should have some pretty good self-confidence to handle rejection and to have an abundance mindset. You may need to fake abundance at first/ knowing there are other girls out there just like her. Abundance will come from a bit of practice. You don't need 10 girls to feel abundance. You only need 1 or 2. For me, talking to more than 2 or 3 girls at a time was exhausting, and it was hard to keep track of who I had told what.
@@SqueamishPuppet Yeah as over the years my skills have gotten better abundance is averagish for me but you know if a girl cancels on you even the most abundant guy can't really call a backup for a backup date right? Everyone has a schedule.
@Prashun 'PC' Chakraborty I did that once! Haha it ended up working out well. I asked a girl last minute to a concert that I had tickets to but was planning on taking another girl to.
@@SqueamishPuppet Nice! If only cancelled drinks were so easily replaceable :(
I actually disagree with the premise of the video. You didn’t have a date set up imo. Dates involve times and locations. We will meet up Thursday night is not a plan. Thursday 6pm polo lounge is a plan. I also wonder if he hadn’t sent the other two messages might she have responded anyway?
Exactly. As long as you have a definite date planned with a time and place, there’s no need to contact them prior unless it’s letting them know you’re running late or letting them know where specifically to meet you.
Go talk to an actual girl bro
If a girl likes you and wants to see you, she will.
If she’s not into you, a follow up text won’t do anything but make her run away from you even more.
If she doesn’t respond or doesn’t turn up for the date (assuming you planned a specific day/time/location etc) just let her go, pursue people who put in effort and enthusiasm to see you.
How common are hospital visit flakes? I think I have had at least 3 of them
are you dating geriatrics?
@@asa3131 just yo mama
I had a two year period where eight girls claimed to have a death in the family to justify flaking.
As long as you are not picking up dates at a hospital parking lot, those are just deflections.
@@jfkst1 Death in the family or sick relatives should be regarded as disinterest. Delete the number instantly.
I don't save online numbers in my phone. Unless we've dated, smashed, and are consistent.
Seems like a lot of work for next to nothing in return. What he Todd did is an example of going out on a high note...but still too much work for next to nothing in return.
What is he really out, though? A few texts?
@@SqueamishPuppet the texts he presented are very rare to happen to most people.
If a girl is 50/50 about you and you’re double texting or reacting to her negatively, all you’re doing is making it easy for her to blow you off. All it does it make you seem needy and unconfident.
Pretty sure it's just a challenge for him/teaching moment as a coach
The "hotter the girl" the more likely she is to go silent? Dude, the super average ones go silent and flake on me if I ever get them to schedule a date(which was twice in two years). There is some serious average girl entitlement out there. And I'm a tall muscular guy who has walked runway as a male model(not famous and have almost never been paid, but still). These chicks only accept men HIGH above their looksmatch and if you arent super rich giga Chad, you get NONE. I live near Chicago, however. Where you live might be different.
Hoeflation is real. Started seeing the shift summer 2022 - bang average 5s acting like 8s, on who I would have originally pulled same night lay.
6ft 2 muscular guy as well. I have too much self-esteem to cater to the bs. I have checked out of the dating market.
Was curious to see what Todd V had to say as he was a big influence on my game. Goes to show, one needs to constantly stoop lower to get that golden V. Once you are past the 100+ mark, cba with effort. Not worth it. Either it is simple or it is not.
Exactly. I was put in the same situation. She literally lovebombed me in a club and stuck her tongue down my throat & then bit me. Note I didn't even know her prior. Then she became the distant one, after several weeks. Girl was a solid 7, but far from a model specimen.
This is terrible advice. Never, ever text a girl that flaked you. Its a HUGE shit test or she doesn’t like you like that. Either way its best to just mirror her and go silent. Dont delete/block cause its a bit childish. She will follow up if shes interested.
The Toddfather is America’s favorite bad boi
RoboTodd
🤣
Problem is. This happens often. A lot.
How can anybody still be interested in someone who is that disrespectful?
You are nobody to her at this point!
@@SqueamishPuppet That’s the problem.
I have the same mindset- A high value guy has allocated his time to a certain activity and that didn't go down that makes me a bit butthurt and it shows but we need to exert more self control to get more lays.
@@tobisteffen what do you mean that's the problem. She shouldn't be shit to you either at this point.
@Prashun 'PC' Chakraborty this behavior should only be exeptable on a first meet, which you shouldn't have much set aside for that. Something with no time constraints like drinks or coffee. Another thing that minimizes flaking is to not set up dates on Friday or Saturday nights. That's when they are more likely hanging out with friends/ ditch you for their friends.
One of the more unique qualities you have is having no fear to break the accepted mold on dating rules and really experiment. I'm sure it's one of the main reasons for your success.
Most women don't flake because they're nervous, they do it because a better option came along. And if she's coming back to you it's because things didn't work out with the other guy. Try again if you want, but just be aware you were her second choice.
Or third - seventh
Most of the reasons why girls ghost you is because they found another date first and you were the second option.
But just because you were the second option, it doesn't mean you're the one with the least value.
Because on the date you get to show the girl that " your date was a better experience than her previous one. In the end it's all about the experience and the quality of interaction you have with the girl at all times. Whether it be text or actual talking or date. You don't have to be a high value person to understand this. The value comes with the time spent with a woman.
Wish Todd would make a vid on converting pulls to lays. Always been a sticking point for me
that was a HUGE sticking point to me but it became very easy when I learned how to sexualize conversations online or in person... start with very subtle jokes and increase to more direct jokes depending on the reaction.
Todd does a great job breaking these things down. I know the theoretical breakdown isn’t for everyone, but I love it.
Ugh. I don't know where to start with this one. "this is not a huge character flaw that she flaked" um. Sorry, but yes it is. Doesn't matter how common it is these days, if she's doing it now, she's not going to dramatically change later. People who don't have (un)common decency aren't suddenly going to become decent once they're in a relationship with you. "she cares enough to lie to me "...oh my God. How deluded! Let's be clear, there's nothing high value about a woman who flakes and ghosts. I agree with Todd on his advice to not get whiny and try to blame them, but why would you bother to try and rescue a situation like this? She either doesn't like you or she's got issues, so no point trying to flog a dead horse. If it was a genuine thing that came up, and she genuinely likes you more than an ounce, she'd feel awful, be apologetic and try to rearrange.
I kind of agree with you, bro.
…but she did feel awful, was immensely apologetic, and did seem open to rearranging
@@yuhmuhfuhkuh This particular case might be genuine. Hard to know. I was more disagreeing with the things Tom said was saying in general than saying this girl specifically was a liar.
@@yuhmuhfuhkuh words are cheap - when it comes to girls especially actions matter.
If it was a genuine thing that came up, she should have texted from the hospital explaining that she had an emergency and couldn't make the date. It takes 30 seconds to send that text. It's a matter of courtesy and effort.
1. Haha. I usually never make
plans just via text... thanks for
reminding me why 🙃. If you'd
like to do a quick phone call to
see if the banter is good, Imk.
We probably should have done
that in the first place 😂
2. It's okay, I wasn't actually
inconvenienced much, just
confused. But (whatever excuse she had show empathy)
Interesting perspective, thanks for sharing. I personality believe that a high value man in a position of abundance wouldn’t double text, let alone triple text, as he would instead just schedule a date with another girl at the same time. If the girl is interested she’ll get back to you and then it’s up to you if you wanna give her a second chance or ghost her.
Not if you have a particular interest. Its not like every person is a carbon copy and literally replacable.
@@ShayPatrickCormacTHEHUNTER Exactly 💯
I have options, but clearly those options don't have my attention or trust enough to be focusing on them at the moment. Probably did something or showed Ted flags.
I only ever pursue women who show high interest, or we know each other, have mutual friends, or run into each other often, and it's clear that she's not just being nice or fishing for attention.
But once a woman I find attractive has met the requirements, and we've set a date, or maybe already had a good first or second date, I have become curious and genuinely want to get to know more about her. She's no longer a stranger, I am interested in this specific woman for whatever specific qualities and compatibilities she's displayed so far.
And that's why having options doesn't make it any better when you get ghosted by someone you've dated for a few weeks or months.
I don't do apps so it's almost never a blind date with a stranger.
IDC how many women do it now, it's the same level of F'D up to ghost someone for no reason after setting a date and confirming right before.
The third msg is a HUGE overkill, a direct contradiction to abundance - a guy with abundance mentality would NEVER bother to send that third text and why should he, given that he knows he has many options on the same level and even more so, if he's is already dating regularly different girls...
Excalty, men should always pursue multiple women at the same time. When one ghosts, delete her number and move on.
I agree with you. After setting up a date, i'll usually let the girl send the follow up confirmation prior to the date. This shows me shes actually anticipating the date and the chance of flaking is extremely low. If there's a date at 8 and by 7 there's no contact, those are the times I've most often experienced a flake, even if i send a follow up message. If she truly wants to see you, she will make the effort
Well, Todd sent the 3rd message and ended up in a decent position, likely still getting a date with the girl. If he didn't send the message, the lead would've been gone. So, I guess it's up to you to decide which outcome you prefer.
@@masamangtao6417 This is not the point man- she didn't deserve a third text and if I'm a guy with an abundance mentality, with high self esteem and many options, regularly dating different girls, I couldn't care less about getting a date with this particular flaky girl or not - this is in direct contradiction to being an abundant guy with high self respect, many options and clear boundaries and there is no way around this! Why pushing that hard for possibly a sick, crazy girl, if you really believe in yourself and you know that you have many other options, just think about it ;) ... Lastly, I can tell you that with this kind of girl even after a reply of the third text etc... she can even confirm 10 mins before the date and still flake and just leave you there waiting and not answering her phone after that - you have no idea how crazy girls and people in general could be, if you believe that it is worth pushing that kind of girl with this huge red flag after the 2nd text, the reply after the 3rd text means really nothing in the real world...
@anantachydrupamayam1718 the whole point of this video was about talking to the 'one', in which case its normal to persuade them an extra message.
Thanks for the great advice on the texting and on how to act/how to function as a high value man emotionally.
You're very welcome!
Love Todd's mature and rational approach to dating and relationships. One of the best role models for modern masculinity?
10:35 Idk, I've been doing pretty well with women as just viewing them as employees. If an interviewee skipped an interview I wouldn't get butt-hurt about it, and women do have most of the attributes of an employee when you think about it, when your money runs out, so do they.
If you view women simply as employees, and realize they view you as resources providers, which is basically an employer, then you'll better understand the dynamic that THEY behave within.
They will lie and say the opposite is true, their BEHAVIOUR tells the Truth tho.
8:06
To me 8/10 times
This message will be received as you outing her for ghosting
I would never consider saying
"Thanks for reminding me why"
It.. Seems a little passive agressive butthurt
Maybe its the language barrier maybe im an uncalobrated beach "🙃"
Plans? Where's the time and location? This is not a definite date.
@3:17
In the many dozens of times I've tried this, it has NEVER worked. If I have ever double texted the girl is simply not interested. IME double texting at best gets a response back to why they flaked and never gets them out on the date. And yes I do it well before the actual planned date.
Here he didnt really make plans except for a part of a day (thursday evening)
He doesnt know where to meet or what they are going to do something active or casual
Where she lives or works to pick her up
Would you just take the L and not even send a text that morning saying "we still on for today? "
@@kehbab
I always make definitive plans. My follow up is similar to Todd's 2nd message too. I'll try a similar 3rd but to me it does come across as desperate.
That’s exactly how you should handle it. In her case, it was probably more likely than not. But, it doesn’t matter. She’s human like the rest of us and until you establish some rapport with a person, she’s nervous. Like Todd said, if you handle it like a pro, you actually gain points - and advance the situation over and above where you were originally.
If i get ghosted and we're not seriously dating, I just move on. Not going to double text, not going to call her out or stalk her social media. Heck, not even going to block her. Next option up. In my past experience, the ghoster has hit me up weeks or months down the road like 80-90% of the time with a variant of "Hey Stranger" or they remember my birthday. At that point I may or may not engage her depending on what I have going on with my current rotation. But hey, not knocking this technique if it works for you
Women who flake is actually doing this to see what your attitude is like, if you never respond after they flaked on you, they’ll wait for months because you basically passed the shit test but in a different and longer process than Todd v, because for months of you not responding to them they see that you forgot all about them after that they flaked on you and they want you to set up the date all over again.
In my opinion i like Todd strategy better because it forces the woman to hold herself accountable without you actually calling her out on her bs. These women know what they’re doing but there’s no need to call her out on anything unless you already place boundaries on her in the relationship and she ended up mistakenly or purposely broke that boundary.
Flaking isn't some shit test. It's a show of disinterest. You're gonna wait till 2027 for her to come back around? I've already moved on!
This situation definitely called for follow-up. Based on their text exchange, he never specified a definite time. When she mentioned, "I should be free by evening," he took it as confirmation. That's precisely where he went wrong. A better follow-up would have been, "Great! How does 8pm sound?" Providing something concrete that she could unequivocally agree to. Saying "Thursday sounds promising" doesn't establish a clear date.
The FaceTime tip is clutch
I agree totally with the messaging part ("not reacting butthurt") and that you want to maintain the chances for yourself, but really you have 𝗿𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁 and 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝘀𝗼𝗻 to see her as a lesser woman without showing that immediately. Because her behavior IS rude. And you don't have to say that immediately and will see later, if her story was bullshit oder not
Regardless of the reason she flaked whether she was nervous and made up an excuse or legitimately had an emergency, or maybe your initial interaction wasn't strong enough. Not acting butt hurt will set you WAY apart from the guys she's talking to and give you massive value. The average guy or girl isn't this emotionally intelligent.
I agree, no reason to be butt hurt but clearly she is a lower quality woman, and yes her flaking and lame excuses are the reason to see her in that light. And frankly, she does it bc we as men excuse women from being accountable, simply bc we want p*ssy too much.
Don't buy that nervous or cold feet excuse. A woman getting graped is lightning strike odds like you getting a second date. Not acting butthurt may be good, but what if Tyrone hit her up? Yeah, block her.
Game is very dificult if she doesnt has genuine desire
man! you are truly giving value through this video. those are not just simple commercials for your program
As a twenty-something, I feel like other twenty-somethings would find it very annoying or even unnerving if I called them. They'd probably be asking themselves if I'm actually in my 40's.
I got that same accuse before, and it was the second time she flaked on me. Both dates were set up thru text. Once she met me and got to know me, she never flaked again lol. I honestly think it could be a test, to find out if you’re needy or not? Which you passed with flying colours lol. Just found your content today and gotta say, I’m very impressed with your coaching. I’ve leaned a lot in just a few hours, so thank you 🙏
OR and that’s more likely to happen like 80% of the time…she’s just not interested. So you really should tread carefully as if her interest is so low she can’t be arsed to reply then maybe she’s not the one.
This man is a Jedi master…🤯
Poland is present 🇮🇩
11:00 I remember once I invited a girl out and she told me she was in hull picking up a puppy for her Nan. But she had left her Snapchat maps on what was saying she was still in town 🤣
The BS excuses women come up with XD
lets hope it was an XL bully pup 😂 how is her nan ?
Tell her it won't work out, and send her a pic with you and another girl. This is why the 1 strike rule is key. FAIAP Female excuses are disinterest 255/256 times.
Love this video. Great advice on how to be an empathetic (and high value) human being who lives in the real world. Also, Todd, when is Week 2 of ODA dropping? I'm ready to gooo!
Yep, we learn to be cool, calm, not blame her while not blaming ourselves either, believe their stories at face value, give her an easy way out, all to get you know what ha ha. No wonder gals are addicted to the flirt period. So many guys act immediately butthurt and all pissy about it, we stand out. Using emoticons here is the key as texts can be interpreted many ways. You did make me realize that the way she behaves at that point is not an indication of how she will act later on, even if we don't think highly of that behavior. They really have more emergencies that normal people have LOL
If she flakes or ghosts you, have some dignity and DO NOT reach out to her, you'll look desperate if you do. Leave her behind with no communications and move on and never respond if she reaches out in the future.
This is great advice. I am pretty good at texting and if you get blown off or she flakes, especially when she does not know you well, it can be a test. She wants to see if your rear end is hurt or freak on her. My response now is actually to ignore the flake. I dont write back, call her out, really do not text back. Believe it or not after a day or two the girl writes back just like she did here with some version of sorry! My day was sooo busy! Cat died! Dog died! Half family died! LOL
I agree never call it out. It is BS, she just was not feeling it probably or got nervous or it was a test (that you just passed). Then I just say that is fine make a joke you actually met the president, famous person or something happened great she missed. She will laugh. Then you make new plans and can kid "you will show up right?" And she will.
When I was young I did get hurt and called them out. Yeah, I did not want to see them after and it is rude, but it is low value. Better to act like nothing happened and presume it is a test. If she does not text back after silence..you kind of have your answer just like with a cool text anyway. It is a permanent flake and you move on. Dont call her out, just ignore it and unmatch.
All this may work an all, but are you really ending up with a girl who TRULY wants to go on a date with you? If you are not her first and enthusiastic choice, why even bother. You know she didn't forget, she didn't have an emergency, she is just spoiled and irresponsible. Why even waste your time with a woman like that?
Actually, the first mistake you made was taking a day to respond while in the process of making plans.
Second mistake was not setting up a specific time you’re meeting. C’mon man.
Very very cool, be sure to catch up on some rest looks like you been working so hard :)
Here's the problem, women don't get called out enough on their s***. Stop babying them and walk away.
A girl here. Might forget, miss the text, think I responded, but usually also not like the guy enough. A reminder or call definitely increases the possibility to meet in my case. But more than one reminder feels pushy. The Haha message here btw is a huge turn off for me.
She apologized ?
It's a miracle !!
David Guetta is a dating coach 😂?
If a flake calls back after the date provided you didn't block her number, make her come over. Or have her send you her address. No date until sex happens. If she balks at that, then block her.
Funny how inflated the dating market has become, even seasoned veterans need to stoop lower then they would a couple of years ago to get the same results.
There is no busier person then an uninterested one
Hi Todd,
I've met this girl through work connections. She lives in a different city, she travels for work. We hang out 1 time last year and then again later in the year . texting picked up after meeting again. Mentioned I might have been in her city at the beginning of the year and she told me to let her now when. We planned on catching up for an hour or so to go to an exhibition. I booked flight and accommodation and 1 week prior she cancelled stating she wouldn't have been in that city that weekend. She offered to refund me the exhibition ticket, which I have accepted. I didn't ask for explanation just said I was sorry to hear that. not sure what happened
I know you said she might not be flaky as a girlfriend but that's like saying if a guy shows up to a date looking like a slob that doesn't mean he's going to be a slob as a boyfriend. If You're just getting to know someone and they behave a certain way why wouldn't you take the seriously into consideration?
I'm honestly so tired of chasing after these trash, ambivalent, horrible creatures. They treat people like complete trash then complain that they can't find anyone. No thanks.
10:15 best part of the video 😂😅 the Japanese sound effects 😅😂
It's easier to ask "lose interest"?
That’s so needy and desperate.
Legendary video Todd 👊
Jeezus, paragraph after paragraphs of texting -Why not just have a phone CALL?
You never had firm plans because you never had a place and time. How can she show up if you didn’t tell her where she’s going?
we all know deep down somewhere that if a girl does not respond to a text message its not going well and she just doesn't want to respond. we just hate that idea :D
Crap! I got this video late. Should have done this a few weeks ago. At least i know better now.
Tbh the txts are too long
7.25: i have options and other shit to do in my everyday life. Yet i don't think no-call-no-show and outright ghosting are honorable actions. I don't find it funny in the slightest. Ghosting is a social disease and sometimes, not always, girls DO deserve to be put in their place and called out on it. IDC if i lose the girl. Standing up for myself and self-respect are waaaay higher in my values ranking than trying to "game" a girl just so i eventually get the date.
Todd, what would you have said if you had done the phone call and she still no call/no show-ed?
Hell no. If you flake on me I’m not talking to you again. Total lack of respect for your time. I’m a very busy guy with a lot of responsibilities. I’m usually having to move things around at work to accommodate time with her. This dude must not respect his own time. Simp!
Dating was soo much easier before texting.
COMMUNICATION in general was better before texting, and people should go back to that, to actual phone CALLS. I understand that texting has some conveniences, but so does hitting the drive thru at McDonalds, it doesnt mean it's good for you.
I kind of disagree with Todd about when a girl makes up a lie and flakes. If she does this, she is showing that she thinks she can just lie to you, and that is my problem with it, not so much that I didn't meet her, but that she thought she could lie, and female lies are disrespect in my opinion ..
Best follow-up text: hey looks like I'm going to be running a little bit late tonight. I'll see you at 8:15 instead of 8:00.
If she responds, you're good. If not, either stay home or go out and be prepared to talk to other girls that you might meet at the venue instead
None of this "let me know when youre free" stuff unless she won't commit to a time, then it's a takeaway move - she can feel that you're done trying.
Her: I should be free by evening
You: cool, meet me at 7 at xyz restaurant. Let me know if work goes late but you may have some catching up to do on the gin and tonics ;)
this dude is the nicest guy there could be
This video saved my crisis haha. I acted a bit angry and I know I am wrong because she was hesitant and need more trust
Todd has great advice, but flakey chicks are a no go for long term.
Maybe for 1 hookup 2dates and thats it.
Not a rotation chick or situationship
Gentlemen just walk away! Never re text them. Walking away regardless lets you know your worth. He just said “she cared enough to lie to me” WTF! No no no ! don’t ever listen to that kind of advice. Walk away and find another woman.
Do you call or facetime her spontaneously or do you schedule it? How long should this call be?
Accountability is a woman's kryptonite. Navigate the muddy waters of dating the best way you can, gentlemen; and focus on having extra options so you don't put too many steaks on the same grill.
2:33 but you said I am flexible you just lowered your value in her eyes by being doing that. I mean what would you expect
I will be honest if you have an abundance mindset and good game And she ghost you I don’t know why she doesn’t just get canceled there’s hundreds of thousands of other women out there to me this is childish and adolescent behavior and speak poorly of her character. My thought is next.
She nexted you first though. Block her.
when girl cancels plans last minute. wait some time. Then text this: 'hey actually my evening just opend up :D' then wait few more minutes and.. say this 'OOh sorry wrong number'.
I love Todd but I’m surprised at how bad his text game is. Long texts are a cardinal sin and all of his texts through 8 mins in the vid are 4-7 lines long which comes off hella needy
Bullshit, why is writing like a normal, educated man not allowed? Don‘t write like a 10 year old who doesn’t know grammar or spelling of words.
But she is responding similarly. I don't see any problem with mirroring her texts. It only comes off needy when she is giving nothing to the conversation.
“She cares enough to lie to me”??..I care enough not to believe you.
No. F... that. I call it out. If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything, and it's okay if she doesn't like that.
This is mostly non sense. If she’s flat in text, she’s basically giving you permission to take the lead. So instead of overthinking all this sh** like a moron, tell her “be at whatever restaurant (YOU PICK THE DAMN RESTAURANT not her) at 7, dress nice, we’re going to have a nice night out together.” AND THATS IT UNTIL YOU SEE HER. And just like that, you’re in charge and she will be so happy to see you when the date comes. It’s like abstinence for a woman to not get attention from a man even for a day sometimes. You’re making the date a special evening between two people. If you want to know more about her to see if she’s even worth taking out that’s fine, but asking a bunch of questions about how she sees her life in 10 years is a buzzkill too. Its boring. Women want men that lead in a kind and respectful way. There’s nothing rude or harsh about it. And if she takes that the wrong way, delete the number because it will be nothing but headaches with her. You want a woman that follows, not a woman that challenges you every time you want to go out!
Tod, what do you think about a situation when a girl just doesn't accept or confirm the meeting - so you go silent. for a few days. then - you just text her again, like it never happened. doesn't it show non neediness in the best way? I am talking about day game girls only.
How do you go about phone calling someone without sounding weird that you wanna call her?
It is not weird to want to talk to someone you are interested in. It only comes off weird or needy if you put too much pressure on the situation.
Who would have thought that rational analysis of Game could lead to psychological depths 19th century writers would have been proud of.
Heres the best way to text a woman. Text her back 1-2 texts and when you ask her a question, wait literally forever for her to answer it. If she cant answer a simple question, shes not interested.
The first high value girl i started dating seriously after my separation flaked/postponed on me on a date she organised and I lost my shit because I value my time.
My ego come straight into play and gave her a serving about integrity and other invites from friends I had socially but turned away coz she invited me out to spend time with each other.
It wasnt my first dumb arse mistake and yep shes gone now.. and on on i watch and grow from Todd