I have to comment as married Muslim woman, in my religion it is the responsibility of the husband to provide for his wife. My advice to all the women is make sure you have your own money, bank accounts, car ,get your education, marketable skill etc. Even if u don't work ask for money and assets and keep it under your name. As a woman protect your own identity and interests.
Yes,sister! I reverted in April 2023 (alhamdullilah) but always say you need your own, no strings attached money in your account AND you need to have a deep understanding of what it takes to financially run your household. ❤
Religions say to do or not do all kinds of stuff. As soon as you see them break ONE rule, that means that they are breaking others, and will ultimately break them all. Definitely set yourself up for independence, no matter what
@@AG-iu9lv the problem isn't the religion, it's the lack of executing the judgement for breaking God's laws. You wouldn't survive if the man's laws were not enforced. So it's no different for religions. That's why christianity is so evil because it condemns punishment by the laws and statutes.
Sorry, but a stay at home woman is, in most cases, a fancy name for a stay at home maid. Most men see a stay at home lady as paid cleaning, secretary and sex service, not as a person or a partner, but as a contract that he can terminate whenever and for whatever reason since they have the upperhand. Please, girls, lets secure our bag and our future without counting on dudes!
These “house girlfriends” always forget to mention that they do have a job and their own income, it’s making these videos online. They’re not telling the whole truth for a reason. Depending on anyone so fully is a recipe for disaster.
This. Those “stay at home girlfriends” either already have their own bag because they came from money, or they’re building their own bag through social media.
Seriously how many stay home girlfriends do you think are influencers? Let’s talk about the real world. Shelters are filled with women who stayed home. Mom’s houses are divorcing doors for women who got put out. Welcome to the real world
As soon as that tik tok girlfriend said “I just make sure to manage his life” I almost spit out my water 😂😂😂😂😂 I’m not spending the next 80 years neglecting my own life so I can give a man extra time to build his .
Stay at home wife, I can understand but Stay at home girlfriend????? Absolutely NOT. He hasn’t even made a commitment to you and you’re not working just trusting his word that he’ll take care of you??? I’m baffled at the naivety of some women….stop moving mountains for BOYFRIENDS!!!
That may be true, but are you saying you want the same outcome as a girlfriend? Because playing wife without the real commitment is just as foolish, if not more. @@Bereal-yd5gh
Everything that married lady said against the SAHG could STILL happen to HER. Her husband could still cheat on her and LEAVE HER. She's living in a fantasy if she thinks "a man of God" won't cheat on her or mentally, financially, physically abuse her. Her arrogance and naivete is laughable.
Thank you! Cause I literally rolled my eyes and didn’t listen anything past “it’s harder to leave as a married woman!” These women really think that the ring on their finger is some sort of security blanket!
The lady who said she and her bf aren’t “scratching each others eyeballs out for power”…until men LEARN to not be in CONSTANT competition with women there will never be true harmonious union. There isn’t a power battle, BECAUSE SHE GAVE HIM ALL THE POWER. I will not be shamed into submission.
Girl she thinks she’s won but in reality he’s got ALL the power! She does everything without a ring! She’s still giving it for “free”…..trips, shopping, rent, etc is nothing to him. Meanwhile, she’s giving kitty cat, cooking, cleaning, and unemployed etc all under his mercy. Chile I can’t-😂
@@Maya-xm5jxlet's go with your mindset. If he married her the power would immediately flip to her. Why would a logical man get married those risks are way to high.
You still have to be careful because if there not willing to sign a cohabitation agreement big red flag!! 🚩 then you’ll find yourself in a very bad situation but god is a mighty god just have faith in god and do everything to keep the peace!! And know you guys aren’t along! People would not fully understand your situation or believe you but you know your truth
If you’ve ever watched Judge Judy. Whenever bf/gf comes to court for assets. She laughs them out of court. The law does not recognize bf/gf and women especially need to understand that.
The only part I don't agree with is that a Stay at home women don't do anything but stay at home and do nothing! Stay at home women STILL do a lot of work.
They do not do as much as upper level professionals. That’s the truth. No one is going to convince me that a stay at home Mother is somehow out working me (a corporate executive who also manages her own home) .
If you tried having kids, cooking from scratch, cleaning the house, taking kids to school and Activities... is a lot. I dont have kids but, just doing the bare minimum of cooking meals for myself and my family and cleaning the house was a lot @azureavocado5195
@@azureavocado5195I hate this discourse there is no comparison. if you are outside the home someone is taking caring care of your rambunctious child/ children full time that huge aspect of motherhood is taken out of the equation so you cannot compare your life to that of a woman who is doing it full time. I have done both. I will not say which is harder it’s purely subjective and dependent on your tolerance, how many kids you have, their capability, what your job is, and how involved your partner is.
@@jirehlozano6257this comment is scary. Why are you an able bodied human refusing to own security for yourself and fully dependent on another? What are you, a kid or toddler? Crazy.
There is no stay at home girlfriend..you’re an adult unemployed woman. Period. There’s nothing wrong with stay at home mom but “stay at home girlfriend” isn’t real.
And idk why the girls keep proudly claiming this role? The years before marriage are supposed to be your years of personal establishment. Build your savings, learn a trade, get a degree, start a business, just do something. Why would you spend that time under the thumb of a man before marriage???
@EnchantedLove30 Yeah, it's a lovely life until it's not. These men can switch up on you and take away that life just as fast as they gave it to you. Don't get it twisted. If you're going to be a SAH anything, that's fine. Just make sure you have your own bag 💵💰 just in case. You would be a fool not to.
Exactly why I am a SAHWM. It is a blessing. A perfect balance. I’m home for my kids, make my money, and safe in my home. Each their own, but trusting a man 100% is not a good idea especially in todays world. Ladies- have your own. 😊
It’s not even just about trusting a man, it’s about trusting yourself to take care of you as well. Also, things happen everyday, spouses lose their jobs, get injured or worse sometimes. We all need something to fall back on.
“Sprinkle sprinkle” aka Shera7 NEVER EVER said to just find a man to take care of u and just sit down. I seriously wish ppl would stop being obtuse. She said find a man that will take care of u AND make sure u have and stack money on the side. That’s a HUGE HUGE DIFFERENCE. So ppl need to stop because that’s NOT Shera said.
Exactly. They see the snippets that people are putting on TikTok (they’re not her channel), but if they watched the videos, she talks about getting and building your own bag.
@@Jennifer_Lewis_Beach_Living Thank you!! I was about to say exactly this, Shera never been about just lying back and letting the man take the wheel. All these impressionable girls seen are these soundbites on TT, when Shera is about having your own, getting prenups and hitting men where it hurts if they act up 🤣
Shera always says use his money to invest in yourself and start making your own money. But never give him a cent and also use his money lol I swear, they don't watch her videos properly. She's very strategic and always says men aren't reliable.
I don’t understand how they come to that conclusion because shera is monetized on TH-cam, has a business, and published a book. Nothing about her gives that tradwife fantasy people are portraying her as
While I do believe in marriage, ladies if you chose to live with a man (which I did) you can still protect yourself. Don't be fooled by you're just a "girlfriend". When he died, I collected the insurance money because we had the talk prior to me moving in with him. He willingly signed those papers. You have to be smart whether you are a girlfriend or wife. It's not as deep as people think. You simply have to communicate and think beyond "I got a man".
You also need to make sure he doesn’t change it behind your back. I’ve heard of that happening before. This man lied to his girlfriend and put his mom down instead while he was on life insurance. Luckily she found out before that idiot croaked.
So a small input from me: I had a husband, we both are christians, we were married for 6 years but we also were a high school sweet hearts, so basically we werre together for 17 years. After this time he lost his feeling (maybe earlier on the way, hard to say) and one day, after getting more and more distanced, he decided he wants to divorce. Each of us always had own income, almost the same for both, each of us had separate savings. During the divorce we went 50/50 on assets, plus each had own savings, we did not have kids so this was out of the plate. Thanks to that my living level did not drop an inch. Be wise girls, not your love, devotion, long time relationship, nor marriage or faith will stop the person who wants to leave. To some point you always rely on yourself. There is a saying: "trust, but check".
"Stay at home girlfriend" meaning he has a family you don't know about and he's rented/bought a flat where he keeps you on the side. Very common and a lot of women fall for it.
when I was 21, I met a guy who fit all my ideas of a True Gentleman Prince Charming type and part of that involved him paying for everything. He ended up becoming abusive by the 8mo mark. Every time we fought, he'd weaponize the fact he paid for everything, just threw it in my face and called me ungrateful. I felt like I couldn't even argue with that, like, he WAS bankrolling my life, I must be so selfish to not just shut up & appreciate that. Any time I got my own money, he'd take it because "you owe me". I'd run from him when he'd have his violent freakouts, but I had no money to travel to safety, I'd have to go back. I got away from him before he put a kid in me, thank god. Now I know: they're not trying to take care of you, they literally do it just to create an imbalanced power dynamic. It's about control.
Exactly. Thank you for sharing your testimony, this is so valuable and people need to see it and understand: the kind of men that want this degree of power and input in a woman's life are doing it because they want to exert their will over another. I'm glad you were able to get away without getting baby-trapped, too.
I can understand what your saying strongly disagree with most of it. The last part doesn't make any sense at all. Your comment about power dynamic is saying you can directly compete with men without constraints.
I agree slightly on the last part but here is really what we are thinking. Women say they want equality ok cool so men are saying no more alimony. Men I believe think that they are taking care of a child rather than an equal. I can see why men would say fuck it because they have to do everything even risk their life for you so that’s why they do that.
All due respect, but a stay at home GIRLFRIEND is not a traditional role. Let’s face it - the stay at home girlfriend is a high-paid escort, and when he gets bored with her, he finds a younger model. If ladies are going into this lifestyle, she BETTER have her own bag AND build her own bag. A number of these “stay at home girlfriends” on social media are building their own bag with money in case it fails. Heck, SheraSeven (the sprinkle sprinkle lady) is a stay at home wife making her own bag from books, cosmetics, and journals in case everything goes wrong.
Honestly, as a guy, the idea that someone is a SAHG and not a SAHW is a huge red flag. The guy wants you to stay home but hes not gonna marry you. READ. THE WRITING. ON. THE WALL. If a guy wants a girlfriend but not a wife, you better turn on those evasive maneuvers, chief.
A stay at home wife is just a slave. You wait for your master to come home and do what ever he tells you. At least the girlfriend can pack and go. The wife has to go through the courts and they are trying to get rid of no fault divorces so that will makenit harder for a woman to leave her husband. I don't understand why people still get married. Marriage was created by men for men. A women's happens us not part of the equation. So why do it?
Is this the same thing they say about wives? Marriage doesn’t save you from a man leaving you for a younger woman. If the man has it is heart to desire younger they will ring or no ring.
@juanpablorobayo9891 bro grow up the majority of successful men will never get married. Just look at stats the majority of divorces are initiated by women 90 percent of the time. Blame no fault divorce for that one.
This push for women to become financially dependent only serves one group: the people planning on abusing that power. They make it about being a loving partner (oh, men don't have to give up their financial independence to be loving then?) and a loving mother (oh, fathers don't have to give up their financial independence to be loving fathers then?), but ultimately it only serves the purpose of making it difficult for the woman to leave a bad situation, where the man will have the freedom to leave tomorrow if he so wishes. At this point I don't even care anymore that some women fall for this false narrative that being financially independent somehow makes you a non-loving partner and/or parent. If you want to put all your eggs in one basket, then have at it. I wish you luck in the future and I hope everything works out for you as you had planned. But if it doesn't you better not be coming up here whining about how your trust was abused by your partner. The only one who truly abused you is looking back at you in the mirror.
@@jirehlozano6257 Using the word "nowadays" at the end of your sentence makes it seem like that's a recent problem. Truth is there are subpar quality of men AND women out there and those have always existed. With the exceptions of being forced into it and abusive relationships, the choice to make yourself completely financially dependent of another person is completely your own. Therefore the result of this choice is also entirely your own. If you chose not to get an education and build up a marketable skillset you can fall back on and then chose to make yourself financially dependent of someone else, then don't go blaming someone else for the consequences. One of my grandmothers had a very hard life taking care of her kids alone after my grandfather died. She had no access to schooling though, so she was a victim of her circumstances. I had every opportunity she didn't, so if I had ended up in the same situation, the only one at fault would be me.
No man is worthy of the sacrifice of a woman depending on them. THEY ALL FAIL in one way or another. Nobody is perfect. I guarantee all these stay at home gfs and wives put up with SO MUCH that they would otherwise leave someone for because of the position they’re in…
5:20 "Traditional relationship... SAHG". What? There's nothing traditional about being a girlfriend and living with your boyfriend. The cognitive dissonance is quite astounding. No traditional man will propose that to a woman and no traditional woman will accept that from a man. Why do modern people want to cling to this manufactured tradition while clearly acting modern is beyond me.
@@Cantetinza17Thank you! I was a little confused about this stay at home girlfriend 😂. Traditionally, if you're not married you stay at home with your parents and work on your assets.
People keep bringing up sprinkle sprinkle lady but she specifically is against you giving up your income and committing to anybody financially while unmarried. Lol.
Exactly! She ALWAYS says to have your own money and have a prenup. People seem to miss that part. She has degrees and her own money, so if her husband starts acting up, she won’t be left out in the cold.
@@exoticallovergirlher logic was that they most likely to cheat in marriage and you'll get your bag.... Personally I can't stand men now I can't even imagine living with such a guy
I was GONNA say, Shera always been about having your own while being provided for! I think the issue is that her videos tend to get shared in little TT snips and clips, so all they hear is the soundbites and sprinkle sprinkle parts.
that video of the pretty woman who "got old" and "lost value" is such bullshit. Women NEVER lose value. Women will always be valuable to men. Older men find out that younger women are too immature after leaving their older women, and the older women are still massively desirable, even by younger men.
I just finished watching The Fall Of The House Usher and Madeleine actress is 72, she is bloody gorgeous. I have no fear in aging, they say men leave you alone the older you get, I’m hoping that’s true
@@Enriquez2222 it will never be true, sadly. Maybe if you decide to turn into a cave troll 🧌 , altho I'm sure there will STILL be men who think you're desperate enough. I'm not pretty and I often get hit on by pond scum drunkards offering to take me home on the back of their bicycle 😤😑
Not true my mom is in her 50s she never pump her own gas a day in her life or even brought her own groceries or bags sometimes I just be waiting in the car and here come another stranger bringing her heavy bags to the trunk that looks half her age lol
If you look up Shar Henley, she made a recent TH-cam video about older women marrying successful men. The red pill movement wants us to believe differently tho.
THANK YOU! Absolute bullsh#t. This narrative that you only have value and have the most value when you are young is absolutely bull#it and needs to die. Plus all the men begging to marry her 🙄😂😂 Im so glad you called that cartoon out.
There is no such thing as soft with the word “life” at the end of it. Life has ups and downs. It ain’t easy and for sure ain’t soft because you’re a SAHGF or SAHW.
The only soft like you can have is the one that you give yourself. Because if I were a stay at home wife or mother I’d be constantly looking over my shoulder asking myself, “Is it today? Is today the day?” 😂
One thing I've learned from being in a relationship is that a man can make you cry. No matter how long you live together and think you know him. One day you will wake up and find that he has done something that you never would've expected from him. The human heart is fickle and no one will ever truly know it.
You must have never met a REAL man of God. Search up “Stephan Speaks” you’ll be pleasantly surprised at what a TRUE man of God has to offer AND their mentality. 🫶🏼
Just because one goes to church doesn't make them a man or woman of God. They're just church-goers unless they are making concerted efforts to follow Christ's teachings.
Becoming a SAHM was one of the worst decisions: keeping up with cheating, mood swings, humiliation, financial and physical abuse... I am glad if someone finds being a SAHM rewarding but I will teach my daughter to be financially independent
Good on you to teach your daughter this my mom taught me and my sister the same. Unfortunately my sister depended on a man and ended up homeless and she eventually died. Women need to be independent because depending on a man is life threatening in a lot of ways. I’m happy splitting bills with a loving partner that respects me, I don’t like the idea of being a grown ass woman asking for money.
Women can make money to invest and live off the husband’s income. That’s what my husband and I do. So he provides for the house and I keep up my skills and build my business. Then hopefully we retire early/reach financial independence quickly by being frugal, too.
@@chattingman6777 because men are supposed to be providers. Men don't have to say they are financially independent because they are supposed to bring home the baking.
I don't think I could ever fully relax and enjoy the benefits there are to the stay at home gf/wife/mom life, because I'd become too anxious about another person having that much control over my life and having no way out should things go sideways. The appealing part of this lifestyle is eliminating the stress of work and managing money. But I think the paranoia of becoming "stuck" would eventually have me more stressed out than I am now as a working unmarried woman.
Right! There are some women that feel stuck and they SPLIT bills let alone if they were fully dependent. All men act up time and time again and being able to say I WILL and CAN leave your ass can really get some men to shape tf up. Without that being a worry of the dude they literally feel like than can do whatever they want and treat you like shit. It happens so often that women that stay at home are emotionally and financially abused.
Yah we’re considering having kids - we live on my husband’s income. I would feel more comfortable when my business is making more money and have more digital assets published (crescent crown saga book series) . My sister’s baby does not nap as often as I would think :0 I mean I can write in the evenings, too but if I end up as primary caretaker you know what I mean.
A TRUE Man of God won’t cheat he puts his money where his mouth is. Look up “Stephan Speaks” he’s a Godly man. A True Man of God walks the walk and Talks the Talk. You probably have just met nothing but phony wannabes. I say that because My uncle ,A Pastor, was cheated on by my Aunt “TWICE” and he forgave her but she tried it again and that’s when he drew the line; which I commend him for. REAL God Loving God Fearing Men Know their role as a Man. Don’t lump in bad experiences you’ve had with wannabes with Actual Men of God. Those are Two separate species.
And had the nerve to be like "I'm not talking down on anyone uwu". Like babe that's all you're doing, say it wit ya chest! Thinking a ring and a man's supposed faith will protect her when we see time and time again that ain't the case ...
As a 27yr old married man who has been with my wife for 10+ years faithfully, I have ALWAYS encouraged my wife to improve. I've openly talked to her about the power games BOTH sides play. I look at a marriage like a company. We both have different jobs that are equally important to the survival of the marriage. Majority of the jobs are shared between both. We only have specific jobs when it plays to our individual strengths. Money is just the scoreboard of how well we have been working together. I pitty the women who suffers a "BOYfriend" who plays power games instead of working on building power together.
I am 52 and every single man I have ever been involved with has let me down. Never fully depend on a man to survive because once you give him that power, he will abuse it, and u will be left out in the cold with no where to go when he finds your replacement, which he will.
Stay at home expat here. I’m in my 50’s with NO HOUSE in my home country. I’m now back at home with my parents and my daughter trying to work out what to do. Please ladies keep yourself safe financially. It’s impossible for me to divorce him as I have no finances to support a divorce and he says he won’t divorce me, it will take two years and I’m not wealthy enough. 😡
I saw a video of a STAHM and her husband, and the husband stated, "you are always spending MY MONEY!" The wife while playing with THEIR kids, stated, "but YOU are the one who wanted me to stay at home and take care of the children!" That really confirmed for me that I am doing the right thing by being self-sufficient in Christ's sufficiency.
I don't think I could ever be a stay at home person for anybody. I'd rather be an escort than be a stay at home person. At least, I can up and leave whenever or choose who I want to be with and spend my time with whomever without feeling the pressure to prove to everyone that trad life rocks. Even the term "stay at home" implies that you're locked into the role of being a fixture at home for the pleasure of the person who's keeping you at home. I'm also seeing this terrifying increase in the amount of boomer trad wives who are now getting divorced with nothing to support them through the rest of their lives. The only circumstance where I would be a stay at home person is if I was getting a salary that matches or exceeds whatever I was making before I decided to become a stay at home person. Yeah, money is not everything, but I don't want to be stuck when it's time to retire. They are right - you have to have your back always.
Let's not idealize escorting either. It would be better to get an education and a proper job. Escorting has dangers of its own that you might one day regret.
@@joanofarcxxiPlease, don't tell me what to accept - I am not interested in the morality Olympics. I am college educated and have a masters degree, but if a woman wants to be an escort or engage in 53x work then that's her prerogative. If I want to be an escort, then that's my choice. You can respect it or gtfo.
Stay at home wife/mom here! 🙋🏻♀️ Been married almost 20 years now with 3 children.. I am so blessed that I ended up with a decent man who isn’t a cheater because if that ever happened.. I would be left with no way to support our family. I do have a side business but it doesn’t pay enough to support our current lifestyle. Although I’m grateful to have been able to stay at home with my kids.. I do not suggest being a permanent stay at home mom without any of your own income because everything the girl said was true.. it is also important to work for something of your own for your mental health.
The thing with Spinkle Spinkle Shera7 is that she's married and has two degrees so Shera has options a lot of these women Don't Secure themselves. She teaches that all men cheat and that she has her own things going on as well, plus they have a prenup. Shera isn't just living a stay a home life without resources
All men DO NOT cheat; With that mentality that’s ALL a woman will ever attract. 🤦🏻♀️ Know your WORTH and you won’t end up with a cheater. There are many women who say they “Know their worth” but if they did they wouldn’t end up with a cheater to begin with.
@@jirehlozano6257you sound silly. Women who know their worth do end up with cheaters but they leave because they know their worth. Stop acting like knowing your worth magically repels cheaters from your life. Men pretends and hide their cheating ways until they are caught
First woman told my story to a T. 10 years later, 3 daughters later; my oldest two daughters are not even my biological children! Their mother was in prison so I raised them from birth and 4 years old. As soon as I got pregnant he started having an affair on me with an 18 year old. 16 years later I'm still a single mom and my youngest daughter will leave home in two years. He stopped being a father when I left him. He pays me that money though. Every three years I have his finances reviewed just to make sure he doesn't need to be paying me more. Shoulda listened to my mama! She was right about everything 😐. I'm stronger and happier for leaving.
I’m always 😂 at the amount of people in the comments who are saying that because a man is a provider or God fearing that he’s not going to cheat on you…with no protection and have whole side babies embarrassing you. They do NOT care. All you have to do is look at the amount of pastors, preachers, and their ilk out here with whole side children and families.
Those are probably the false gospel of eternal security (once saved always saved ) teachers that mislead their congregations by telling them that once you are saved, you are assured of heaven no matter what (implied, no matter what wickedness you do- LIE) There is no such thing as a Christian adulterer or Christian liar or Christian thief- none.
@@binaryhills2491 You as well. BTW, if a behavior or teaching is not from New Testament, it is not Christian, regardless of what others say. On an aside, many believe that the NT supports burning witches; it does not. The ones who burned the witches were Calvinists -which is a false gospel (plan of salvation) which has taken over the evangelical world. I have not "gone to church" in years bc of these false teachings.
I got news for you , although I don’t agree with the stay at home girlfriend lifestyle, a husband can walk away too if he decides he doesn’t want to be married or raise his children anymore. It is a lot harder to walk away when you are married. It’s even more difficult when you have children a lot of married me cheat.
There are more legal protections. I’m a lawyer - not legal advice - just saying it’s wise to be married in most states/areas. Yes it’s a pain in the ass to divorce. But hey there’s the social stigma, too if the man cheats it becomes VERY public. At least I’ve found it’s a small world so everyone knows each others dirt to some extent and maybe that will save someone else heartache. Bf/gf just move out and no one knows and you don’t get any compensation for your sacrifice to be with him.
As a current Stay At Home Wife, my husband and I have a shared acct that all the money gets deposited into that then gets dispersed as *we* see fit. I am active in the monthly money management with full access to his paycheck. I have my own bank acct and investment acct that gets funded regularly. I may not work, but I still have my own. Thats the key. Full dependence is not healthy.
To the lady at the about the 14 min mark, God fearing/church going men cheat too and everyone wants to believe otherwise 😂. Some men never go to a church and never cheat. It’s not a guarantee one way or the other. It’s the character of the man himself.
Nothing wrong with staying home as a gf or wife..but be smart! Work on yourself! Always have a bussiness or a degree..this is not just in case of divorce...its also for sudden accidents or sickness.
From 19 - 35 you have these years to decide what sort of woman you want to become. Self-develooment will allow you to work towards the life of your dreams. You cannot be "divorced" from your skills and income earning capabilities.
Anyone about the fence on this one. Do not live with him. 14 years in and absolutely miserable kicking a dead horse here. He will control you, what you eat how much you eat what you wear what you buy your necessities will be his burden. Your declining health will give him ammo to call you lazy. Do not leave financial dependency to another person 100% and always have a "pack your bags and leave" fund
I support the idea of being financially stable but you should live with someone to see what they're like prior to marriage like domestic chores to find out what kind of person you’ll be living with.
@@Layla56333 that you can see just by visiting them, if they are either messy or say "my mom cleaned up prior you arriving" run. You will be just licking up after them. Living with them just gives you a harder way out. You'll have to change address (in my country that pulls with it all your licenses and bank info) so you will be even more inclined to stay in a miserable situation, plus they will be able to access your personal things like bank account once you live with them. Date them for at least 3 years and get to know them really well before entangling your life with them.
Your husband can't kick you out but he can cheat. Marriage doesn't stop a man from doing things that a boyfriend does. Marriage is not the answer, the person is.
My friend quit her good steady job to stay at home, while her boyfriend works and uses HER car. I get it makes her happy but I'm worried about how sustainable and reliable that lifestyle is. If you are able bodied and can have something to call your own that you worked for I feel like that's a stable foundation, without that, you're completely dependent on someone else to make the right choices and you have to put your full trust/livelihood in their hands. Making that kind of decision by choice in this day and age scares the hell outta me. I worry so much, and hearing these stories just adds fuel to the fire.
Being a stay at home girlfriend without income is not sprinkle sprinkle anything...its just unwise. Ill never understand why people bring Shera into these matters because shes always advocated for women to have their own money. I think a lot of these women use Shera's philosophy as a cover up for not wanting to think for themselves because if anything Shera is very calculated lol
I could never sit at home, without my own money, I would jump out the window. Since I was little, I was told to always have my own, even if you have to work at McDonald's or Burger King. No man could convince me to sit at home and rely on them, plus I love to shop so I need my own coin.
As a feminist, I find it hard to adhere to the “women are free to choose whether they want to be a SAHM or not” discourse. It just feels so wrong to tell women they can leave their life in the hands of their husbands in a deeply patriachal society (which feels to get worse and worse as day goes by). It might also be the difference in culture. I was raised by eastern european women who instilled in me the belief that I should never depend on a man, I find it so weird when I see women from first world countries like the US aiming for the stay-at-home life.
The issue is you never know what another person is going to do and you cannot control your partners actions or feelings. You can only control what you are wiling to accept. Some women will accept certain things in order to maintain their lifestyles. I know plenty of women who think “my man would never” because he has never showed her anything but good things. Then when something does happen they are completely caught off guard and the rug is pulled out from under them. I’m not saying anyone should be in a relationship waiting for their partner to do something to them because that is not healthy. But, we should never lose ourselves in a relationship completely where we don’t even know who we are anymore and become completely dependent.
I have advice for my religious gurlies out there, from a Muslim. First of all, your husband is never first. I hate to break it to you, but he’s not even in the top 5, let alone top 10. Youre priorities are as follows 1. Youre religion - don’t let him take it away from you. If you’re trynna get to heaven, if he dares try to spiritually abuse you, make sure you’ve learned your scripture and know your religion well. Know all of your rights, but don’t use it to manipulate him. If you know or feel like he’s wrong, call an imam, a priest, a rabbi just any leader who follows the same religion as you, and ask them the right questions. If you’re wrong, don’t be afraid to admit it! I can’t stress this one enough! Don’t sacrifice your hereafter just for being wrong! Admit it and repent! 2. Kids - if he ever does anything bad to your kids. Leave. Right away. No questions asked. You will be asked as a mother if you protected your kids or not on the day of judgement, and lemme tell you, if he abused them in anyway and you stayed silent because you “love” him, you will be punished for it. No child should be harmed simply because you love the man who impregnated you. And if he threatens you, stand your ground and don’t be afraid! Be strong for them and don’t let anyone, not even your in laws tell you what to do. 3. Yourself - I’ve seen a lot of Muslim sisters get into marriages that seem like a good idea at first, then all of a sudden, the man is abusive, he dies drugs, he’s an alcoholic, he’s harmed her in many ways. If he is threatening your life and your kids life, it is an obligation for you to leave. If he tries to stop you, it is obligated for you to do it in secret. Tell an imam, tell your parents, his parents, family members, religious leaders, lawyers and have very obvious and tangible proof. The worst thing that can go wrong is him being a pathological liar or your in laws siding with him and other stuff h don’t need to mention because it’s pretty obvious. Don’t let him bring you down, you’re a worth more than what he tells you. 4. Your dignity - never let him embarrass you. If he embarrasses you first, do it back, and worse. Let him know that you are force that shouldn’t be reckoned with. If he tries to manipulate you, seek help! Many women are afraid to seek help because they love their husband, they don’t want to snitch or other reasons. Just know, your love for him should never come at the cost of your dignity. A good woman will sacrifice her dignity for you, a bad man won’t sacrifice a dime for a good woman.
In Islamic shariah a woman can only request for a divorce from her husband and her male judge . Even if the man is abusive she can only request for a divorce and the judge has to approve of her request , first how is the Muslim woman going to prove she was abused ? Will the husbands family support the woman ? Will her family support her ? Islam is the biggest problem here your husband can beat you even if he fears your are going to rebel
Here is a bigger problem. These women that say they want a godly man are so disgusting that I'm enraged by their actions and I'm very casual with my beliefs. A true godly man wouldn't marry 99.9999 percent of women in America. They are at the kindest term non virgins yet asking for a man of God.
My stay-at-home mother taught me that I should always have my own. My dad has forever been the sole provider but he also has narcissistic tendencies which makes it complicated if she ever wants to leave.
“If you give a man the power to feed you, you give him the power to starve you.” Damn! Honestly this has changed my perspective. My husband and I will always be 50/50 anyway, as we earn the same amount and need two incomes for our lifestyle. However, I’ve now changed my mind on staying home permanently. I feel like I would always need some kind of income of my own, even though I fully trust him. Even if he was a millionaire. You just never know what the future holds, or what can happen in a relationship.
if your man pays for everything it's okay but hold on to your own money, skills, qualification so that when love is no longer served on the table you can easily walk away.
@@Me-xoxozwhat you just described from your own mouth isn't marriage. Thats called boyfriend and girlfriend. It's true single woman keep women single.
“A man that tells you he don’t want to get married, it’s because he wants to be able to change his mind or exercise his options at any given moment without legal consequences”. #Thinkaboutit.
True this is why u need to invest and get a government job even though I'm 27 and retired and make a lot more than the average American I make sure I have more than one income coming in without leaving my house and don't have kids cause I'm selfish with my time
I moved in with my boyfriend 6 months ago and he really tried to convince me that I didn't have to work my government job anymore. I'm glad I didn't because his true colors started showing not too long after I moved in. Although we're still both adjusting I find extreme comfort in knowing that me, my money and my benefits can leave. Lol
Christian men do the same. I was married & we were in ministry together as pastors, 13 years. I was a stay home wife, had 3 kids, & he left. I got very little child support, which by the way you can get when your not married. Men are men, religious or not. They do what they want and if they feel you don’t align with their goals & desire, they are quick to exit.
So a man who is taking care of you financially is very likely to abuse you, cheat on you and lord money over you but its better for him to do those things to you as his wife than his girlfriend because it's harder for him to leave his wife than his girlfriend. This logic has defeated me, I'm done. Here's a thought, just have your own money regardless so that you don't have to be desperate for an abusive man to not leave you.
This is common sense. It's crazy how people throw themselves into scary situations and then come online to make videos about the consequences of their actions😂
I’m not raising my daughter to be a stay at home anything. Stay focused on self and stay motivated in enhancing your own life. Love will come after. Do not sacrifice your career to become dependent on any man.
The first girl could have been going to school or building a business while she was a stay at home girlfriend. She chose to do nothing causing her to be unhappy. The second one saying her life is not that exciting...that's a choice. Regardless if you work or don't work you can still live life. A lot of people end up not knowing what they like or having a social circle and end up having no identity or hobbies. Also as far as wanting a man to be a provider it doesn't mean you can't work as well or have something for yourself. You can have a man that provides and have income.
Ok, i had to pause this video here and say this: it doesn't matter is the man is "God fearing" or not. Men will do what they want. PEOPLE will do what they want! But men, "God fearing" men especially feel like the Bible sides with them in the situation, because look how the Bible tells them they can treat their wives! Look at the examples! Keep your eyes open and the logic part of your brain most especially engaged with anyone, man or woman.
My dad was a preacher, he said he went to a men’s retreat with the church and the speaker had an alter call for men who were struggling with infidelity. He said 90 percent of the men went up front. My dad ended up cheating on my mom. Btw
What Bible have YOU been reading? Have you read it at all? Or that scripture specifically? God doesn’t condone boorish/cheating behavior. That’s why you divorce after infidelity. Infidelity disgusts God just as much as it disgusts his True followers. That’s a fake wannabe “God fearing man” that cherry picks the Bible to fit his narrative. Man must submit to God and then that submission to God allows a woman to submit to her husband because BOTH are submitting. You all must not know the Bible scripture because I’ve called out men MULTIPLE times for trying to do just that; act like the Bible sides with them treating a woman like garbage when it DOESN’T. They skip the part where the scripture says “Men submit to God” that’s a red flag immediately to me. You all must gain discernment and not just take a man’s word for it. Man is corrupt. Do his actions MATCH his words. If NOT that’s NOT a God Fearing man. Come on. My uncle ,A Pastor as well, was cheated on TWICE by my aunt and HE forgave HER but then she did it again and that’s when he let her go. TRUE Men of God walk the walk and talk the talk. Don’t forget that there will be WOLVES wrapped in SHEEPS Clothing even in a church. Eyes wide open ladies. Look up “Stephan Speaks” that’s a True man of God! You’ll be pleasantly surprised to see that he doesn’t agree with All these wannabes. 🙏🏼
@@T.H-v4h Hate to break it to you but your father wasn’t as devoted to God as he thought he was. If he was, infinitely would’ve never happened or even crossed his mind because he knows that he will be judged harsher by God because he was supposed to be a Shepherd of Gods people and with his actions there will be A LOT of blood on his hands because other men will look at his behavior and think God is okay with it when he’s not.
@@T.H-v4hyour father is not a Christian. Bares the tag of one but not one in truth. They are barely many Christians out there. Be careful. Test the spirit that leads men and women. Stay blessed
Don't have a relationship centered existence People lie and or change Always have a way out and legal protections Don't live with him without marriage Don't marry without a prenuptial agreement
i really don't understand why living with him before marriage or not matters if the alternative is just... living by yourself and paying more money to do so? or living with parents you hate and are in constant fight or flight around?
It's about becoming overly dependant on someone too soon. Some people end up agreeing to marry not because they actually love each other, but because of the convenience/fear of losing each other/the dual income thing. So while it does make sense financially, doing it too soon can mess a lot of things up. Some people get too comfortable and don't want to move the needle forward if they already have someone playing husband/wife, and moving in together contributes to that. Personally I think you need to be compatible in the home, so you should live together, but only after you are already engaged. That way you know you're already committed for love, not just convenience, and you can give it a trail run before legalities get involved.
I’m glad my husband and I lived together first bc if he didn’t step up around the apartment and be fair as we both worked full time, that wouldn’t have gone well. We vibed well - then we ended up getting custody of his nephew after my SIL passed away the year we got married anyway so thankfully we already had a solid family foundation. We got married early before our big ceremony since we were already playing house with our nephew.
I don’t agree with this. The problem is, as a stay at home gf or wife, you should be stashing money away for yourself and growing it through a business or investments. Duh. I was a stay at home mom and when we got divorced (my choice) I got a hefty alimony. Not I’m a stay at home girlfriend. And he’s always on his toes. Yes he had access to women that may look better than me. And I have access to men that are richer than him. BOOM💥
These are women that stayed with men that they weren’t married to or had babies out of wedlock or stayed with men that didn’t give them a set amount of money every month. This is how they got played while staying at home. Now they are fear mongering to the world that every woman should work a 9 to 5 and put their kids in daycare. I’m not buying it😂❤
“stay at home GIRLFRIEND” doesn’t even makes sense to me.. At least get the ring to have legal rights…meh maybe it’s just me. Wasting your youth is a nono. Take the time to build your credit score, stack your money, discover your passion and build your identity. No man will ever be able to take that away from you. You have no kids, so take that time to do all of that. I escaped a very toxic 4 year relationship and NEVER AGAIN! When you have nothing to your name, men are so quick to remind you of that
Let’s pray she does not have to go through anything negative in life and her family life 🙏🏻 Let’s not cast an evil eye on anyone if their opinions are different to ours. ❤
It’s ok to be a stay at home gf for a couple years to get yourself together, especially if you’re working towards something like education or starting a business, learning a skill, doing self improvement, but if you’re just doing nothing that’s not a good idea.
"working towards" an education isn't staying at home. It is being on campus. If you stay at home for homemaking, be married. Really don't be a stay at home girlfriend.
As a working female in a happy relationship where we equally split bills, I can not fathom when someone’s only reason for existing is doing household and serving the man. There is so much to experience, achieve and know in life - it honestly makes me so sad seeing women sitting (being pushed or just because they wanted to) in such a patriarchal trap.
You know when she said “ When you give a man the power to feed you you also give him the power to starve you “ really did it for me and put it into a *WHOLE NEW PERSPECTIVE*
I agree nothing traditional and she could have used time to get an online certification or degrees. However whats traditional about a woman working and refusing to pay her share of bills. Traditional you stay at home and take care of the children and the man provides. Nontraditional woman gets degrees and then works. The bills are split 50/50. It sounds like your trying to blend traditional with Nontraditional.
when a woman has powerful self esteem, she calls the shots in her life...if she wants to stay at home it's because she can afford to do this and no man has nothing to do with it becuz it's by her own choice....
My husband tried to sahgf me when he had to relocate overseas for work. I said no I need a bigger commitment and he proposed the next month… as soon as we moved I got some certs and went to college. Now I’m finishing my bachelors and a sahm to our 9 month old.
If you are going to remain a SAHM get your own bank account & pay money into it every month. Let him pay you for being a SAHM. You & your husband need to open a unit trust of other savings vehicle for you where you buy shares. Make sure he has a good life insurance policy with you beneficiary. Even with a education without experience it would be difficult to get into a career after 10, 15, 20 years. Make sure you have a plan B. Make sure your name is also on everything you own. Let him buy you the highest grade gold you can afford.
Stay at home means, " get your businesses off the ground while its still fresh and new." -it means go get your masters that he is happy to pay 4. -it means go get that reliable vehicle hes happy to pay 4. -it means go workout, get your therapy, get ur business,get your sleep, get your rest....it means sell your recipe book, sell those candles you make at home as a hobby, sell those soaps you make 4 yourself, it means "style other men n women since ur so good at fashion. It means open those dance classes n teach others since you cant stop shakin' your booty ! It means get going b4 his life battery or his love interest battery dies on you. If you dont value yourself and improve your condition......... How can he?
I feel having stable job isn’t even safe nowadays. You can do good job and try but there might be changes , new ceo, new acquisition and bum you are on a street! My fiancé got cancer at 33 and I was the only one taking care of him and working to keep our apartment and food and gas and everything! After he died I was at the bottom, no savings, my contract ended, I was anorexic and had no money to buy food or even go to a psychiatrist to seek some help. Now since I am alone I am looking for some side hustle or extra work because I don’t want to starve like I did in the past. It’s not easy though 😢 I am constantly in stress worrying about future and I work really hard 9 years no vacation or days off 😮😢 I just live in depression and stress and insecurities. It’s hard
I am so sorry you experienced all that. Losing the love of your life is unimaginable. Yes it's extremely important for a woman to have her own. My fiance provides but before he met me I already had my own investment property and business. When I accepted his marriage proposal he mentioned that he would be putting me as the beneficiary for his life insurance. Did your fiance leave anything for you or any of his things in his will as you were his main provider and carer. Shouldn't there be something in his will for you?
@@chattingman6777Hm, only in the life of a good man that worked hard, while providing good care to his sick, dieing woman ! There are very few of those! I only knew 3, while women in the same situation, I knew about 50 personaly, some with little kids, too. Unfortunately, men are more likely to drop their sick wives, than vice-versa.
I'm so sorry for your loss. It takes extreme strength to take care of a sick partner. I hope life looks up for you and everyone in your situation. Life isn't fair, and sometimes love is a sacrifice.
18:09 she adopted all her nieces and nephews! Some of our mothers and grandmothers were saints in human form! They should be well taken care of in their old age.
resentment is real. I gave up a good career as a soldier and shouldn't have. it did make me feel less than him because he got his career and I wanted it. don't do it ladies!
She has valid points, but sahgf shouldn’t be grouped together with sahw. That man hasn’t married her after three years, but she’s cosplaying wifey. Glad she’s wising up though. ❤
Sprinkle sprinkle always talks about having skills to make your own money. I love how ppl talk about marriage to women like we propose. It’s really funny when ppl ask when I’m getting married. And we don’t like the way it looks when we see women getting down on one knee. Make sure you’re educated and use your talents. S/O to the women who are single and getting their own. Much love and respect.
Yes I’ve personally heard older men complaining about their wives wanted them to contribute more time to family (kids, etc). And they feel entitled to not contribute since they are the breadwinners. They feel the wives should be grateful they “get” to stay home.
Honestly being a stay at home girlfriend/mom/whatever sounds kinda boring. I mean I like shopping and makeup and working out. But I feel like it'd get boring fast. I have a career and purpose. It's fulfilling. I don't care how much money a man has--I will always have my own!
At the end of the day some people will always have to learn the hard way. There have been plenty of women before this young lady who warned against being completely dependent on a man and his money. Especially without having anything to fall back on. It sounds good to everyone to be completely taken care of until like she said, you realize that you'd literally have nothing without that person.
Never wanted to be married. Probably because I grew up Catholic and my Dad told me (when I was a teenager and was not even dating) that if I did not get married in the Catholic faith, he would not go to the wedding or recognize the marriage because marriage is a sacrament. I told him I didn't want to get married anyway. I'm nearly 45 now, been with the same man for over 20 years. No kids. We've outlasted many of the marriages of friends and family over the years. We bought a house together 5 years ago and a shared mortgage feels more binding than a marriage. I guess I'm saying, relationships work out or they don't. Marriage doesn't guarantee crap. Always be able to depend on yourself,no matter how good the relationship is. Nothing lasts forever.
Yah a guy told me that I would look ugly in my old age… I’m 31 and he’s in his 50s. 1) I will look more beautiful as an 80 year old vs him in his 50s bc he ain’t a looker anyway soooo ok and 2) my dad looks like he’s in his 50s and he’s 72 and I have his genes primarily sooooo I believe I will look really good for my age anyway. These are scare tactics. Anyway women are valuable for more than our beauty (but we tend to age better than men in the beauty department anyway sooo men value women who are in their age group for maturity and life experience reasons). It’s just fearmongering.
When you are a “stay at home wife “ or mom it’s good to still continue your education , or part time work so you can be marketable . Also it’s good to definitely have your own income . With your own income you learn how to budget and save for a rainy day . The thing is it should go without saying that you can be able to support yourself and or your kids if anything happens to your spouse . As far as SAHGF are concerned , no judgement here but just be mindful , don’t s as allow men to stunt your growth and hinder you from achieving your goals while your young .
“My man would never do that to me…”, is the equivalent of a little girl saying she wants to become a princess when she grows up IMO. We all like calling an immature guy a man baby, but SAHGFs aren’t much different. They just volunteer to be infantilize. There nothing wrong with being care for, but you should at least care for your self. You may think that your man cares for you, but he can always change his mind.
Yes. You always need to have a safety net that you are responsible for and in control of. Regardless of how much you love and trust someone, always know you could leave whenever you need to.
I have to comment as married Muslim woman, in my religion it is the responsibility of the husband to provide for his wife. My advice to all the women is make sure you have your own money, bank accounts, car ,get your education, marketable skill etc. Even if u don't work ask for money and assets and keep it under your name. As a woman protect your own identity and interests.
Yes,sister! I reverted in April 2023 (alhamdullilah) but always say you need your own, no strings attached money in your account AND you need to have a deep understanding of what it takes to financially run your household. ❤
Religions say to do or not do all kinds of stuff. As soon as you see them break ONE rule, that means that they are breaking others, and will ultimately break them all. Definitely set yourself up for independence, no matter what
@@AG-iu9lv the problem isn't the religion, it's the lack of executing the judgement for breaking God's laws. You wouldn't survive if the man's laws were not enforced. So it's no different for religions. That's why christianity is so evil because it condemns punishment by the laws and statutes.
@@biblethumper8088 girl what??
💯 if I hadn't had my own money and yrs of job experience I would have been up the creek.
Sorry, but a stay at home woman is, in most cases, a fancy name for a stay at home maid. Most men see a stay at home lady as paid cleaning, secretary and sex service, not as a person or a partner, but as a contract that he can terminate whenever and for whatever reason since they have the upperhand. Please, girls, lets secure our bag and our future without counting on dudes!
I’m happy you didn’t say ALL SAHM because you are correct. There are some outliers. 😊
True
@@jirehlozano6257 Of course! I do believe good men will take care of their families, but the trashy Men try to mimic the provider kind of behaviors
Exactly. A self glorified maid.
There are women that go to work everyday and still comes home and do all the cooking cleaning and do all the housework
My grandmas always told me : you can give a man anything you want (time, money, heart, body...) except your power. Titanium advice.
All of that is her power. Or did she mean like don’t put it ALL into him
Respectfully, how does that corrolate?
@@Tay144-fb5qp👩🏽💻
My grandfather told me something similar but more on the lines of “Don’t let a man cheat you out of your money.”
These “house girlfriends” always forget to mention that they do have a job and their own income, it’s making these videos online. They’re not telling the whole truth for a reason. Depending on anyone so fully is a recipe for disaster.
Period. They don't tell you this part 'cause its against the narrative that they spin. Its all political propaganda in the end.
Allowing yourself to become completely financially dependent on someone else is essentially setting yourself up to be abused.
This. Those “stay at home girlfriends” either already have their own bag because they came from money, or they’re building their own bag through social media.
“House girlfriends”… smh. I hate that this is really a thing.
Seriously how many stay home girlfriends do you think are influencers? Let’s talk about the real world. Shelters are filled with women who stayed home. Mom’s houses are divorcing doors for women who got put out. Welcome to the real world
As soon as that tik tok girlfriend said “I just make sure to manage his life” I almost spit out my water 😂😂😂😂😂 I’m not spending the next 80 years neglecting my own life so I can give a man extra time to build his .
She’s definitely an employee of her rich guy. I bet he’s using her as a tax write-off if she knows it or not
@@sonyab2u974he’s def writing her off as a dependent. As he should honestly 😂
Stay at home wife, I can understand but Stay at home girlfriend????? Absolutely NOT. He hasn’t even made a commitment to you and you’re not working just trusting his word that he’ll take care of you??? I’m baffled at the naivety of some women….stop moving mountains for BOYFRIENDS!!!
Stop cooking for them too
Married women get cheated on and left with nothing everyday
@@Bereal-yd5gh Married women will get more out of the deal IF he chooses to leave her versus a girlfriend.
I would definitely have my own place and just date until he makes a commitment and if I choose to accept it
That may be true, but are you saying you want the same outcome as a girlfriend? Because playing wife without the real commitment is just as foolish, if not more. @@Bereal-yd5gh
My dad was a pastor and he cheated on his ex wife (my mom). That girl doesn't think the infidelity rate applies to Christians. What a joke. 😂
Exactly
Yea she was irking me she sounds stupid they can be the worse ones
there is a difference between going to church and honouring the Bible and God-fearing
@@aryellah-muheberu8869he is pastor
@@aryellah-muheberu8869 all of em claim they god fearing until the slip in some cooch then it's the flesh is weak 😂
Everything that married lady said against the SAHG could STILL happen to HER. Her husband could still cheat on her and LEAVE HER. She's living in a fantasy if she thinks "a man of God" won't cheat on her or mentally, financially, physically abuse her. Her arrogance and naivete is laughable.
I came to say the same. Smh
lol the law don’t stop men but she thinks a book and some faith will 😂
@@Enriquez2222😂 i know right
Thank you! Cause I literally rolled my eyes and didn’t listen anything past “it’s harder to leave as a married woman!” These women really think that the ring on their finger is some sort of security blanket!
With All The Pastors Out Here Cheating… No Wife Is Exempt!!!
The lady who said she and her bf aren’t “scratching each others eyeballs out for power”…until men LEARN to not be in CONSTANT competition with women there will never be true harmonious union. There isn’t a power battle, BECAUSE SHE GAVE HIM ALL THE POWER. I will not be shamed into submission.
Girl she thinks she’s won but in reality he’s got ALL the power! She does everything without a ring! She’s still giving it for “free”…..trips, shopping, rent, etc is nothing to him. Meanwhile, she’s giving kitty cat, cooking, cleaning, and unemployed etc all under his mercy. Chile I can’t-😂
Men are never in competition with women. There would be no competition if so. We are both in different leagues.
@@Shalayah2010Oh darling, MANY men are in competition with women.
@@Maya-xm5jx how the hell is "trips, shopping, rent" nothing? huh???
@@Maya-xm5jxlet's go with your mindset. If he married her the power would immediately flip to her. Why would a logical man get married those risks are way to high.
It’s called financial abuse ladies! This comes with emotional and verbal abuse! Always have a job and a backup plan!!!
You still have to be careful because if there not willing to sign a cohabitation agreement big red flag!! 🚩 then you’ll find yourself in a very bad situation but god is a mighty god just have faith in god and do everything to keep the peace!! And know you guys aren’t along! People would not fully understand your situation or believe you but you know your truth
If you’ve ever watched Judge Judy. Whenever bf/gf comes to court for assets. She laughs them out of court. The law does not recognize bf/gf and women especially need to understand that.
The only part I don't agree with is that a Stay at home women don't do anything but stay at home and do nothing! Stay at home women STILL do a lot of work.
They do not do as much as upper level professionals. That’s the truth.
No one is going to convince me that a stay at home Mother is somehow out working me (a corporate executive who also manages her own home) .
The very devaluation of the work done in the home is a whole red flag. "She doesn't work..." Smgdh.
If you tried having kids, cooking from scratch, cleaning the house, taking kids to school and Activities... is a lot.
I dont have kids but, just doing the bare minimum of cooking meals for myself and my family and cleaning the house was a lot
@azureavocado5195
@@azureavocado5195I hate this discourse there is no comparison. if you are outside the home someone is taking caring care of your rambunctious child/ children full time that huge aspect of motherhood is taken out of the equation so you cannot compare your life to that of a woman who is doing it full time. I have done both. I will not say which is harder it’s purely subjective and dependent on your tolerance, how many kids you have, their capability, what your job is, and how involved your partner is.
Do you agree men of God apparently don't cheat and abuse their partners lol that woman was stupid for saying that.
I think those of us who can think critically already knew being a stay at home anything relying on a man for everything was a bad idea🙄
Not exactly. Men just aren’t quality men like they used to be.
That part.
@@jirehlozano6257they never were. That’s why feminism started. They’ve always been horrible
sounds like a set-up🤔🧐
@@jirehlozano6257this comment is scary. Why are you an able bodied human refusing to own security for yourself and fully dependent on another? What are you, a kid or toddler? Crazy.
There is no stay at home girlfriend..you’re an adult unemployed woman. Period. There’s nothing wrong with stay at home mom but “stay at home girlfriend” isn’t real.
Exactly. She is just a kept woman in exchange for financial provision. He can replace her at any time. But if she doesn't care, so be it. 🤷🏾♀️
And idk why the girls keep proudly claiming this role? The years before marriage are supposed to be your years of personal establishment. Build your savings, learn a trade, get a degree, start a business, just do something. Why would you spend that time under the thumb of a man before marriage???
@@Childfree334 otherwise known as an escort, but they don't like the truth anymore.
@EnchantedLove30 Yeah, it's a lovely life until it's not. These men can switch up on you and take away that life just as fast as they gave it to you. Don't get it twisted. If you're going to be a SAH anything, that's fine. Just make sure you have your own bag 💵💰 just in case. You would be a fool not to.
@EnchantedLove30 whatever floats your boat but that person would be an unemployed adult woman living in someone’s house.
Exactly why I am a SAHWM. It is a blessing. A perfect balance. I’m home for my kids, make my money, and safe in my home. Each their own, but trusting a man 100% is not a good idea especially in todays world. Ladies- have your own. 😊
It’s not even just about trusting a man, it’s about trusting yourself to take care of you as well. Also, things happen everyday, spouses lose their jobs, get injured or worse sometimes. We all need something to fall back on.
“Sprinkle sprinkle” aka Shera7 NEVER EVER said to just find a man to take care of u and just sit down. I seriously wish ppl would stop being obtuse. She said find a man that will take care of u AND make sure u have and stack money on the side. That’s a HUGE HUGE DIFFERENCE. So ppl need to stop because that’s NOT Shera said.
Exactly. They see the snippets that people are putting on TikTok (they’re not her channel), but if they watched the videos, she talks about getting and building your own bag.
@@Jennifer_Lewis_Beach_Living Thank you!! I was about to say exactly this, Shera never been about just lying back and letting the man take the wheel. All these impressionable girls seen are these soundbites on TT, when Shera is about having your own, getting prenups and hitting men where it hurts if they act up 🤣
Shera always says use his money to invest in yourself and start making your own money. But never give him a cent and also use his money lol
I swear, they don't watch her videos properly. She's very strategic and always says men aren't reliable.
The females half listen to what ppl say tgey only listen to the part that fuels their fantasies
I don’t understand how they come to that conclusion because shera is monetized on TH-cam, has a business, and published a book. Nothing about her gives that tradwife fantasy people are portraying her as
I think it's important to note that non-religious people can have all of these same boundaries!
ok
Hoo yeah, they do it all and often are even worse. 😬
Thank you! 💖💖
Well said
Non religious people seem to have better morals and boundaries.
While I do believe in marriage, ladies if you chose to live with a man (which I did) you can still protect yourself. Don't be fooled by you're just a "girlfriend". When he died, I collected the insurance money because we had the talk prior to me moving in with him. He willingly signed those papers. You have to be smart whether you are a girlfriend or wife. It's not as deep as people think. You simply have to communicate and think beyond "I got a man".
🤫🤫 shhhhhh let them think what they want and keep the secrets to yourself. The ones who get it, get it. 😂😂
This. YES.
You also need to make sure he doesn’t change it behind your back. I’ve heard of that happening before. This man lied to his girlfriend and put his mom down instead while he was on life insurance. Luckily she found out before that idiot croaked.
@@Blissedxthey can still lie about that too.
@LoveK1 This is also true but the difference is, I bought the policy and only the owner of that policy was able to change the beneficiary.
So a small input from me: I had a husband, we both are christians, we were married for 6 years but we also were a high school sweet hearts, so basically we werre together for 17 years. After this time he lost his feeling (maybe earlier on the way, hard to say) and one day, after getting more and more distanced, he decided he wants to divorce. Each of us always had own income, almost the same for both, each of us had separate savings. During the divorce we went 50/50 on assets, plus each had own savings, we did not have kids so this was out of the plate. Thanks to that my living level did not drop an inch. Be wise girls, not your love, devotion, long time relationship, nor marriage or faith will stop the person who wants to leave. To some point you always rely on yourself. There is a saying: "trust, but check".
Thank you for sharing your wisdom with me.
the prov 31 woman is self-employed....
Did he end up cheating or just became distant? If to personal no need to reply sorry for my intrusion.
@@notnecessarily3681 both. First distant, then cheating.
"Stay at home girlfriend" meaning he has a family you don't know about and he's rented/bought a flat where he keeps you on the side. Very common and a lot of women fall for it.
💯
And if somethi g happens to him he gets nothing. His wife and kids does.
@@Noneya-b7tThis is the comment. A lot of young girls are naive very naive.
when I was 21, I met a guy who fit all my ideas of a True Gentleman Prince Charming type and part of that involved him paying for everything. He ended up becoming abusive by the 8mo mark. Every time we fought, he'd weaponize the fact he paid for everything, just threw it in my face and called me ungrateful. I felt like I couldn't even argue with that, like, he WAS bankrolling my life, I must be so selfish to not just shut up & appreciate that. Any time I got my own money, he'd take it because "you owe me". I'd run from him when he'd have his violent freakouts, but I had no money to travel to safety, I'd have to go back. I got away from him before he put a kid in me, thank god.
Now I know: they're not trying to take care of you, they literally do it just to create an imbalanced power dynamic. It's about control.
Exactly. Thank you for sharing your testimony, this is so valuable and people need to see it and understand: the kind of men that want this degree of power and input in a woman's life are doing it because they want to exert their will over another. I'm glad you were able to get away without getting baby-trapped, too.
I can understand what your saying strongly disagree with most of it. The last part doesn't make any sense at all. Your comment about power dynamic is saying you can directly compete with men without constraints.
Mr Lovebomb
I agree slightly on the last part but here is really what we are thinking. Women say they want equality ok cool so men are saying no more alimony. Men I believe think that they are taking care of a child rather than an equal. I can see why men would say fuck it because they have to do everything even risk their life for you so that’s why they do that.
All due respect, but a stay at home GIRLFRIEND is not a traditional role. Let’s face it - the stay at home girlfriend is a high-paid escort, and when he gets bored with her, he finds a younger model. If ladies are going into this lifestyle, she BETTER have her own bag AND build her own bag. A number of these “stay at home girlfriends” on social media are building their own bag with money in case it fails. Heck, SheraSeven (the sprinkle sprinkle lady) is a stay at home wife making her own bag from books, cosmetics, and journals in case everything goes wrong.
Honestly, as a guy, the idea that someone is a SAHG and not a SAHW is a huge red flag. The guy wants you to stay home but hes not gonna marry you. READ. THE WRITING. ON. THE WALL. If a guy wants a girlfriend but not a wife, you better turn on those evasive maneuvers, chief.
Calling a girlfriend an escort is GROSS especially as if you're aware marriage is down across the board, because times have changed.
A stay at home wife is just a slave. You wait for your master to come home and do what ever he tells you. At least the girlfriend can pack and go. The wife has to go through the courts and they are trying to get rid of no fault divorces so that will makenit harder for a woman to leave her husband. I don't understand why people still get married. Marriage was created by men for men. A women's happens us not part of the equation. So why do it?
Is this the same thing they say about wives? Marriage doesn’t save you from a man leaving you for a younger woman. If the man has it is heart to desire younger they will ring or no ring.
@juanpablorobayo9891 bro grow up the majority of successful men will never get married. Just look at stats the majority of divorces are initiated by women 90 percent of the time. Blame no fault divorce for that one.
This push for women to become financially dependent only serves one group: the people planning on abusing that power. They make it about being a loving partner (oh, men don't have to give up their financial independence to be loving then?) and a loving mother (oh, fathers don't have to give up their financial independence to be loving fathers then?), but ultimately it only serves the purpose of making it difficult for the woman to leave a bad situation, where the man will have the freedom to leave tomorrow if he so wishes.
At this point I don't even care anymore that some women fall for this false narrative that being financially independent somehow makes you a non-loving partner and/or parent. If you want to put all your eggs in one basket, then have at it. I wish you luck in the future and I hope everything works out for you as you had planned. But if it doesn't you better not be coming up here whining about how your trust was abused by your partner. The only one who truly abused you is looking back at you in the mirror.
The problem isn’t being a SAHW/M the problem is the unfortunate quality of men there are nowadays.
@@jirehlozano6257 Using the word "nowadays" at the end of your sentence makes it seem like that's a recent problem. Truth is there are subpar quality of men AND women out there and those have always existed. With the exceptions of being forced into it and abusive relationships, the choice to make yourself completely financially dependent of another person is completely your own. Therefore the result of this choice is also entirely your own. If you chose not to get an education and build up a marketable skillset you can fall back on and then chose to make yourself financially dependent of someone else, then don't go blaming someone else for the consequences. One of my grandmothers had a very hard life taking care of her kids alone after my grandfather died. She had no access to schooling though, so she was a victim of her circumstances. I had every opportunity she didn't, so if I had ended up in the same situation, the only one at fault would be me.
Very well said. I completely agree with everything.
The only one who truly abused you is looking back at you in the mirror....
this is the realest words i have heard on youtube...........preach!!!!
No man is worthy of the sacrifice of a woman depending on them. THEY ALL FAIL in one way or another. Nobody is perfect. I guarantee all these stay at home gfs and wives put up with SO MUCH that they would otherwise leave someone for because of the position they’re in…
5:20 "Traditional relationship... SAHG". What? There's nothing traditional about being a girlfriend and living with your boyfriend. The cognitive dissonance is quite astounding. No traditional man will propose that to a woman and no traditional woman will accept that from a man. Why do modern people want to cling to this manufactured tradition while clearly acting modern is beyond me.
For real.
FACTS 🗣️
Right if your a traditional girlfriend your supposed to still be under parents roof or in a lace of your own.
It’s convenient for their disillusions
@@Cantetinza17Thank you! I was a little confused about this stay at home girlfriend 😂. Traditionally, if you're not married you stay at home with your parents and work on your assets.
People keep bringing up sprinkle sprinkle lady but she specifically is against you giving up your income and committing to anybody financially while unmarried. Lol.
Exactly! She ALWAYS says to have your own money and have a prenup. People seem to miss that part. She has degrees and her own money, so if her husband starts acting up, she won’t be left out in the cold.
She also never encourages anyone to leave because they cheat.
@@exoticallovergirlher logic was that they most likely to cheat in marriage and you'll get your bag.... Personally I can't stand men now I can't even imagine living with such a guy
I was GONNA say, Shera always been about having your own while being provided for! I think the issue is that her videos tend to get shared in little TT snips and clips, so all they hear is the soundbites and sprinkle sprinkle parts.
Thank youuu!!!
that video of the pretty woman who "got old" and "lost value" is such bullshit. Women NEVER lose value. Women will always be valuable to men. Older men find out that younger women are too immature after leaving their older women, and the older women are still massively desirable, even by younger men.
I just finished watching The Fall Of The House Usher and Madeleine actress is 72, she is bloody gorgeous. I have no fear in aging, they say men leave you alone the older you get, I’m hoping that’s true
@@Enriquez2222 it will never be true, sadly. Maybe if you decide to turn into a cave troll 🧌 , altho I'm sure there will STILL be men who think you're desperate enough. I'm not pretty and I often get hit on by pond scum drunkards offering to take me home on the back of their bicycle 😤😑
Not true my mom is in her 50s she never pump her own gas a day in her life or even brought her own groceries or bags sometimes I just be waiting in the car and here come another stranger bringing her heavy bags to the trunk that looks half her age lol
If you look up Shar Henley, she made a recent TH-cam video about older women marrying successful men. The red pill movement wants us to believe differently tho.
THANK YOU! Absolute bullsh#t. This narrative that you only have value and have the most value when you are young is absolutely bull#it and needs to die. Plus all the men begging to marry her 🙄😂😂 Im so glad you called that cartoon out.
There is no such thing as soft with the word “life” at the end of it. Life has ups and downs. It ain’t easy and for sure ain’t soft because you’re a SAHGF or SAHW.
The only soft like you can have is the one that you give yourself. Because if I were a stay at home wife or mother I’d be constantly looking over my shoulder asking myself, “Is it today? Is today the day?” 😂
One thing I've learned from being in a relationship is that a man can make you cry. No matter how long you live together and think you know him. One day you will wake up and find that he has done something that you never would've expected from him. The human heart is fickle and no one will ever truly know it.
💯💯💯
if he made you cry made im cry too we women should stop feeling sorry about ourselves and stand up for ourselves
"Men of God do not do that" 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣👌👌👌👌 girl your ignorance is funny
lol she lost me immediately after that. They actually are some of the worst out there
Even pastors cheat on their wives. Men of God are probably worse than men of the world 😂😂😂😂😂
You must have never met a REAL man of God. Search up “Stephan Speaks” you’ll be pleasantly surprised at what a TRUE man of God has to offer AND their mentality. 🫶🏼
what males and What God they talking about?🤔🤔🧐
Just because one goes to church doesn't make them a man or woman of God. They're just church-goers unless they are making concerted efforts to follow Christ's teachings.
Becoming a SAHM was one of the worst decisions: keeping up with cheating, mood swings, humiliation, financial and physical abuse...
I am glad if someone finds being a SAHM rewarding but I will teach my daughter to be financially independent
So you're going to teach her to be single or pay for a man. Even men don't say they are financially independent. Because it sounds goofy.
@@chattingman6777 ok, even men don't say and I do say
Good on you to teach your daughter this my mom taught me and my sister the same. Unfortunately my sister depended on a man and ended up homeless and she eventually died. Women need to be independent because depending on a man is life threatening in a lot of ways. I’m happy splitting bills with a loving partner that respects me, I don’t like the idea of being a grown ass woman asking for money.
Women can make money to invest and live off the husband’s income. That’s what my husband and I do. So he provides for the house and I keep up my skills and build my business. Then hopefully we retire early/reach financial independence quickly by being frugal, too.
@@chattingman6777 because men are supposed to be providers. Men don't have to say they are financially independent because they are supposed to bring home the baking.
Jesus was single for a reason ladies we should be more like him lol
Best lesson he ever gave 😂
Lol
I don't think I could ever fully relax and enjoy the benefits there are to the stay at home gf/wife/mom life, because I'd become too anxious about another person having that much control over my life and having no way out should things go sideways. The appealing part of this lifestyle is eliminating the stress of work and managing money. But I think the paranoia of becoming "stuck" would eventually have me more stressed out than I am now as a working unmarried woman.
😆 🤣 😂 😹 😆 🤣. Your basically a man.
Right! There are some women that feel stuck and they SPLIT bills let alone if they were fully dependent. All men act up time and time again and being able to say I WILL and CAN leave your ass can really get some men to shape tf up. Without that being a worry of the dude they literally feel like than can do whatever they want and treat you like shit. It happens so often that women that stay at home are emotionally and financially abused.
Yah we’re considering having kids - we live on my husband’s income. I would feel more comfortable when my business is making more money and have more digital assets published (crescent crown saga book series) . My sister’s baby does not nap as often as I would think :0 I mean I can write in the evenings, too but if I end up as primary caretaker you know what I mean.
I totally feel the same way!
Don't be afraid to leave a toxic marriage or relationship always have something of your own weather you have kids or not.
Agreed 🙏🏼
when you give a man the power to feed you he also has the power to starve you, thats deep af
The pickme talking about how godly men won't cheat on you hahahhahah
Like come on!!
Is she a pick me or is she a christian?
IKR
A TRUE Man of God won’t cheat he puts his money where his mouth is. Look up “Stephan Speaks” he’s a Godly man. A True Man of God walks the walk and Talks the Talk. You probably have just met nothing but phony wannabes. I say that because My uncle ,A Pastor, was cheated on by my Aunt “TWICE” and he forgave her but she tried it again and that’s when he drew the line; which I commend him for. REAL God Loving God Fearing Men Know their role as a Man. Don’t lump in bad experiences you’ve had with wannabes with Actual Men of God. Those are Two separate species.
And had the nerve to be like "I'm not talking down on anyone uwu". Like babe that's all you're doing, say it wit ya chest! Thinking a ring and a man's supposed faith will protect her when we see time and time again that ain't the case ...
As a 27yr old married man who has been with my wife for 10+ years faithfully, I have ALWAYS encouraged my wife to improve. I've openly talked to her about the power games BOTH sides play. I look at a marriage like a company. We both have different jobs that are equally important to the survival of the marriage. Majority of the jobs are shared between both. We only have specific jobs when it plays to our individual strengths. Money is just the scoreboard of how well we have been working together. I pitty the women who suffers a "BOYfriend" who plays power games instead of working on building power together.
Yes! This - we’re a team!
Wow! You are rare!
“Money is just a scoreboard of how well we have worked together”
💯 ❤
@@nephtalie5889I’m on the rare team too🙂🙌🏾
I am 52 and every single man I have ever been involved with has let me down. Never fully depend on a man to survive because once you give him that power, he will abuse it, and u will be left out in the cold with no where to go when he finds your replacement, which he will.
this sounds like relationships are about everything except love
Stay at home expat here. I’m in my 50’s with NO HOUSE in my home country. I’m now back at home with my parents and my daughter trying to work out what to do. Please ladies keep yourself safe financially. It’s impossible for me to divorce him as I have no finances to support a divorce and he says he won’t divorce me, it will take two years and I’m not wealthy enough. 😡
I saw a video of a STAHM and her husband, and the husband stated, "you are always spending MY MONEY!" The wife while playing with THEIR kids, stated, "but YOU are the one who wanted me to stay at home and take care of the children!" That really confirmed for me that I am doing the right thing by being self-sufficient in Christ's sufficiency.
I don't think I could ever be a stay at home person for anybody. I'd rather be an escort than be a stay at home person. At least, I can up and leave whenever or choose who I want to be with and spend my time with whomever without feeling the pressure to prove to everyone that trad life rocks.
Even the term "stay at home" implies that you're locked into the role of being a fixture at home for the pleasure of the person who's keeping you at home. I'm also seeing this terrifying increase in the amount of boomer trad wives who are now getting divorced with nothing to support them through the rest of their lives.
The only circumstance where I would be a stay at home person is if I was getting a salary that matches or exceeds whatever I was making before I decided to become a stay at home person. Yeah, money is not everything, but I don't want to be stuck when it's time to retire.
They are right - you have to have your back always.
Let's not idealize escorting either. It would be better to get an education and a proper job. Escorting has dangers of its own that you might one day regret.
My brother-in-law pays his wife to be a SAHM for their one son.
@@joanofarcxxias an escort funding her education via sw - its nowhere near as bad as people make it seem.
@@joanofarcxxiPlease, don't tell me what to accept - I am not interested in the morality Olympics. I am college educated and have a masters degree, but if a woman wants to be an escort or engage in 53x work then that's her prerogative. If I want to be an escort, then that's my choice. You can respect it or gtfo.
@@VeeKayGreenerGrasshow much?
Stay at home wife/mom here! 🙋🏻♀️
Been married almost 20 years now with 3 children.. I am so blessed that I ended up with a decent man who isn’t a cheater because if that ever happened.. I would be left with no way to support our family. I do have a side business but it doesn’t pay enough to support our current lifestyle. Although I’m grateful to have been able to stay at home with my kids.. I do not suggest being a permanent stay at home mom without any of your own income because everything the girl said was true.. it is also important to work for something of your own for your mental health.
If he want to cheat he will they’re is no I’m so blessed he isn’t a cheater bc he’ll change his mind down the road
Do you have a pre nup? If not you should be protected - half of what he has is yours.
There is a big difference between a stay at home wife vs stay at home girlfriends. Wives are protected by the law
The thing with Spinkle Spinkle Shera7 is that she's married and has two degrees so Shera has options a lot of these women Don't Secure themselves. She teaches that all men cheat and that she has her own things going on as well, plus they have a prenup. Shera isn't just living a stay a home life without resources
She is an evolved and savvy sex worker.
Point blank period.
@@azureavocado5195 💀💀💀explainnnnnn
All men DO NOT cheat; With that mentality that’s ALL a woman will ever attract. 🤦🏻♀️ Know your WORTH and you won’t end up with a cheater. There are many women who say they “Know their worth” but if they did they wouldn’t end up with a cheater to begin with.
It's probably not good to assume that all men cheat either but it's better to live as if they WILL possibly cheat one day.
@@jirehlozano6257you sound silly. Women who know their worth do end up with cheaters but they leave because they know their worth. Stop acting like knowing your worth magically repels cheaters from your life. Men pretends and hide their cheating ways until they are caught
First woman told my story to a T. 10 years later, 3 daughters later; my oldest two daughters are not even my biological children! Their mother was in prison so I raised them from birth and 4 years old. As soon as I got pregnant he started having an affair on me with an 18 year old. 16 years later I'm still a single mom and my youngest daughter will leave home in two years. He stopped being a father when I left him. He pays me that money though. Every three years I have his finances reviewed just to make sure he doesn't need to be paying me more.
Shoulda listened to my mama!
She was right about everything 😐.
I'm stronger and happier for leaving.
I’m always 😂 at the amount of people in the comments who are saying that because a man is a provider or God fearing that he’s not going to cheat on you…with no protection and have whole side babies embarrassing you. They do NOT care. All you have to do is look at the amount of pastors, preachers, and their ilk out here with whole side children and families.
Those are probably the false gospel of eternal security (once saved always saved ) teachers that mislead their congregations by telling them that once you are saved, you are assured of heaven no matter what (implied, no matter what wickedness you do- LIE) There is no such thing as a Christian adulterer or Christian liar or Christian thief- none.
Lmao. This person you described is not a Christian. Goes by the " Christian" tag but not a Christian. Stay blessed.
With religion, people need to leave room for free thinking honestly. Religion tends to brainwash and make people susceptible to being doormats.
@@binaryhills2491 You as well.
@@binaryhills2491 You as well. BTW, if a behavior or teaching is not from New Testament, it is not Christian, regardless of what others say. On an aside, many believe that the NT supports burning witches; it does not. The ones who burned the witches were Calvinists -which is a false gospel (plan of salvation) which has taken over the evangelical world. I have not "gone to church" in years bc of these false teachings.
I got news for you , although I don’t agree with the stay at home girlfriend lifestyle, a husband can walk away too if he decides he doesn’t want to be married or raise his children anymore. It is a lot harder to walk away when you are married. It’s even more difficult when you have children a lot of married me cheat.
Exactly. There’s no guarantee no matter what.
There are more legal protections. I’m a lawyer - not legal advice - just saying it’s wise to be married in most states/areas. Yes it’s a pain in the ass to divorce. But hey there’s the social stigma, too if the man cheats it becomes VERY public. At least I’ve found it’s a small world so everyone knows each others dirt to some extent and maybe that will save someone else heartache. Bf/gf just move out and no one knows and you don’t get any compensation for your sacrifice to be with him.
@@schuylergeery-zink1923 prenup there problem solved
As a current Stay At Home Wife, my husband and I have a shared acct that all the money gets deposited into that then gets dispersed as *we* see fit. I am active in the monthly money management with full access to his paycheck. I have my own bank acct and investment acct that gets funded regularly. I may not work, but I still have my own. Thats the key. Full dependence is not healthy.
To the lady at the about the 14 min mark, God fearing/church going men cheat too and everyone wants to believe otherwise 😂. Some men never go to a church and never cheat. It’s not a guarantee one way or the other. It’s the character of the man himself.
That’s not what she said.
@@09kenedyyou're wasting your time😂
Nothing wrong with staying home as a gf or wife..but be smart! Work on yourself! Always have a bussiness or a degree..this is not just in case of divorce...its also for sudden accidents or sickness.
With that advice, it's better to stay single. 🤷🏾♀️
From 19 - 35 you have these years to decide what sort of woman you want to become. Self-develooment will allow you to work towards the life of your dreams. You cannot be "divorced" from your skills and income earning capabilities.
This is such great advice
Absolute facts
Love it!
Anyone about the fence on this one. Do not live with him. 14 years in and absolutely miserable kicking a dead horse here. He will control you, what you eat how much you eat what you wear what you buy your necessities will be his burden. Your declining health will give him ammo to call you lazy. Do not leave financial dependency to another person 100% and always have a "pack your bags and leave" fund
I support the idea of being financially stable but you should live with someone to see what they're like prior to marriage like domestic chores to find out what kind of person you’ll be living with.
@@Layla56333 that you can see just by visiting them, if they are either messy or say "my mom cleaned up prior you arriving" run. You will be just licking up after them. Living with them just gives you a harder way out. You'll have to change address (in my country that pulls with it all your licenses and bank info) so you will be even more inclined to stay in a miserable situation, plus they will be able to access your personal things like bank account once you live with them. Date them for at least 3 years and get to know them really well before entangling your life with them.
Your husband can't kick you out but he can cheat. Marriage doesn't stop a man from doing things that a boyfriend does. Marriage is not the answer, the person is.
My friend quit her good steady job to stay at home, while her boyfriend works and uses HER car. I get it makes her happy but I'm worried about how sustainable and reliable that lifestyle is. If you are able bodied and can have something to call your own that you worked for I feel like that's a stable foundation, without that, you're completely dependent on someone else to make the right choices and you have to put your full trust/livelihood in their hands. Making that kind of decision by choice in this day and age scares the hell outta me. I worry so much, and hearing these stories just adds fuel to the fire.
Men absolutely cannot be trusted with the kind of power being a sole provider gives them. They will abuse it every time.
Being a stay at home girlfriend without income is not sprinkle sprinkle anything...its just unwise. Ill never understand why people bring Shera into these matters because shes always advocated for women to have their own money. I think a lot of these women use Shera's philosophy as a cover up for not wanting to think for themselves because if anything Shera is very calculated lol
I could never sit at home, without my own money, I would jump out the window. Since I was little, I was told to always have my own, even if you have to work at McDonald's or Burger King. No man could convince me to sit at home and rely on them, plus I love to shop so I need my own coin.
Love that!
As a feminist, I find it hard to adhere to the “women are free to choose whether they want to be a SAHM or not” discourse. It just feels so wrong to tell women they can leave their life in the hands of their husbands in a deeply patriachal society (which feels to get worse and worse as day goes by).
It might also be the difference in culture. I was raised by eastern european women who instilled in me the belief that I should never depend on a man, I find it so weird when I see women from first world countries like the US aiming for the stay-at-home life.
The issue is you never know what another person is going to do and you cannot control your partners actions or feelings. You can only control what you are wiling to accept. Some women will accept certain things in order to maintain their lifestyles.
I know plenty of women who think “my man would never” because he has never showed her anything but good things. Then when something does happen they are completely caught off guard and the rug is pulled out from under them.
I’m not saying anyone should be in a relationship waiting for their partner to do something to them because that is not healthy. But, we should never lose ourselves in a relationship completely where we don’t even know who we are anymore and become completely dependent.
I have advice for my religious gurlies out there, from a Muslim. First of all, your husband is never first. I hate to break it to you, but he’s not even in the top 5, let alone top 10. Youre priorities are as follows
1. Youre religion - don’t let him take it away from you. If you’re trynna get to heaven, if he dares try to spiritually abuse you, make sure you’ve learned your scripture and know your religion well. Know all of your rights, but don’t use it to manipulate him. If you know or feel like he’s wrong, call an imam, a priest, a rabbi just any leader who follows the same religion as you, and ask them the right questions. If you’re wrong, don’t be afraid to admit it! I can’t stress this one enough! Don’t sacrifice your hereafter just for being wrong! Admit it and repent!
2. Kids - if he ever does anything bad to your kids. Leave. Right away. No questions asked. You will be asked as a mother if you protected your kids or not on the day of judgement, and lemme tell you, if he abused them in anyway and you stayed silent because you “love” him, you will be punished for it. No child should be harmed simply because you love the man who impregnated you. And if he threatens you, stand your ground and don’t be afraid! Be strong for them and don’t let anyone, not even your in laws tell you what to do.
3. Yourself - I’ve seen a lot of Muslim sisters get into marriages that seem like a good idea at first, then all of a sudden, the man is abusive, he dies drugs, he’s an alcoholic, he’s harmed her in many ways. If he is threatening your life and your kids life, it is an obligation for you to leave. If he tries to stop you, it is obligated for you to do it in secret. Tell an imam, tell your parents, his parents, family members, religious leaders, lawyers and have very obvious and tangible proof. The worst thing that can go wrong is him being a pathological liar or your in laws siding with him and other stuff h don’t need to mention because it’s pretty obvious. Don’t let him bring you down, you’re a worth more than what he tells you.
4. Your dignity - never let him embarrass you. If he embarrasses you first, do it back, and worse. Let him know that you are force that shouldn’t be reckoned with. If he tries to manipulate you, seek help! Many women are afraid to seek help because they love their husband, they don’t want to snitch or other reasons. Just know, your love for him should never come at the cost of your dignity.
A good woman will sacrifice her dignity for you, a bad man won’t sacrifice a dime for a good woman.
In Islamic shariah a woman can only request for a divorce from her husband and her male judge . Even if the man is abusive she can only request for a divorce and the judge has to approve of her request , first how is the Muslim woman going to prove she was abused ? Will the husbands family support the woman ? Will her family support her ? Islam is the biggest problem here your husband can beat you even if he fears your are going to rebel
Here is a bigger problem. These women that say they want a godly man are so disgusting that I'm enraged by their actions and I'm very casual with my beliefs. A true godly man wouldn't marry 99.9999 percent of women in America. They are at the kindest term non virgins yet asking for a man of God.
Any man that tell you to be a stay at home mum or girlfriend is actually prepping you for disappointment!!!😢😢
My stay-at-home mother taught me that I should always have my own. My dad has forever been the sole provider but he also has narcissistic tendencies which makes it complicated if she ever wants to leave.
“If you give a man the power to feed you, you give him the power to starve you.” Damn! Honestly this has changed my perspective. My husband and I will always be 50/50 anyway, as we earn the same amount and need two incomes for our lifestyle. However, I’ve now changed my mind on staying home permanently. I feel like I would always need some kind of income of my own, even though I fully trust him. Even if he was a millionaire. You just never know what the future holds, or what can happen in a relationship.
if your man pays for everything it's okay but hold on to your own money, skills, qualification so that when love is no longer served on the table you can easily walk away.
@@Me-xoxozwhat you just described from your own mouth isn't marriage. Thats called boyfriend and girlfriend. It's true single woman keep women single.
Stay at home girlfriend... House girlfriend.... Y'all mean a BED WENCH??? 👀👀🤦🏽♀️
“A man that tells you he don’t want to get married, it’s because he wants to be able to change his mind or exercise his options at any given moment without legal consequences”. #Thinkaboutit.
Time stamp: 23:00
Let me tell you this ladies… the majority of Americans will NOT be able to retire off of an IRA or 401K. Research for yourself.
So true!!! My dad is 70 and his 401k is almost $0. We need multiple streams of investments
True this is why u need to invest and get a government job even though I'm 27 and retired and make a lot more than the average American I make sure I have more than one income coming in without leaving my house and don't have kids cause I'm selfish with my time
@@lynettegryniak6265sounds like he ran into some seriously rocky waters for that to happen to him if he retired at 65.
@@shaypope4732retired so young what do you do?
@@shaypope4732can you please tell me how you retired at 27?
I moved in with my boyfriend 6 months ago and he really tried to convince me that I didn't have to work my government job anymore. I'm glad I didn't because his true colors started showing not too long after I moved in. Although we're still both adjusting I find extreme comfort in knowing that me, my money and my benefits can leave. Lol
Christian men do the same. I was married & we were in ministry together as pastors, 13 years. I was a stay home wife, had 3 kids, & he left. I got very little child support, which by the way you can get when your not married. Men are men, religious or not. They do what they want and if they feel you don’t align with their goals & desire, they are quick to exit.
So a man who is taking care of you financially is very likely to abuse you, cheat on you and lord money over you but its better for him to do those things to you as his wife than his girlfriend because it's harder for him to leave his wife than his girlfriend. This logic has defeated me, I'm done.
Here's a thought, just have your own money regardless so that you don't have to be desperate for an abusive man to not leave you.
Hahaha. Exactly. They want a man so bad, they will get the government involved to keep him. 😂
Exactly!! Some of these women make zero sense. They just wanted the title “wife” but it’s not a guarantee to get treated any better. SMH.
This is common sense. It's crazy how people throw themselves into scary situations and then come online to make videos about the consequences of their actions😂
Right! Like make it make sense
They also should do a deep dive on the etymology of the word “wife” 😬
I’m not raising my daughter to be a stay at home anything. Stay focused on self and stay motivated in enhancing your own life. Love will come after. Do not sacrifice your career to become dependent on any man.
💯
The first girl could have been going to school or building a business while she was a stay at home girlfriend. She chose to do nothing causing her to be unhappy. The second one saying her life is not that exciting...that's a choice. Regardless if you work or don't work you can still live life. A lot of people end up not knowing what they like or having a social circle and end up having no identity or hobbies. Also as far as wanting a man to be a provider it doesn't mean you can't work as well or have something for yourself. You can have a man that provides and have income.
I’m glad the OP spoke her truth because whenever you speak on these women with rich partners, you are a hater! 🙄
Ok, i had to pause this video here and say this: it doesn't matter is the man is "God fearing" or not. Men will do what they want. PEOPLE will do what they want! But men, "God fearing" men especially feel like the Bible sides with them in the situation, because look how the Bible tells them they can treat their wives! Look at the examples! Keep your eyes open and the logic part of your brain most especially engaged with anyone, man or woman.
My dad was a preacher, he said he went to a men’s retreat with the church and the speaker had an alter call for men who were struggling with infidelity. He said 90 percent of the men went up front. My dad ended up cheating on my mom. Btw
What Bible have YOU been reading? Have you read it at all? Or that scripture specifically? God doesn’t condone boorish/cheating behavior. That’s why you divorce after infidelity. Infidelity disgusts God just as much as it disgusts his True followers. That’s a fake wannabe “God fearing man” that cherry picks the Bible to fit his narrative. Man must submit to God and then that submission to God allows a woman to submit to her husband because BOTH are submitting. You all must not know the Bible scripture because I’ve called out men MULTIPLE times for trying to do just that; act like the Bible sides with them treating a woman like garbage when it DOESN’T. They skip the part where the scripture says “Men submit to God” that’s a red flag immediately to me. You all must gain discernment and not just take a man’s word for it. Man is corrupt. Do his actions MATCH his words. If NOT that’s NOT a God Fearing man. Come on. My uncle ,A Pastor as well, was cheated on TWICE by my aunt and HE forgave HER but then she did it again and that’s when he let her go. TRUE Men of God walk the walk and talk the talk. Don’t forget that there will be WOLVES wrapped in SHEEPS Clothing even in a church. Eyes wide open ladies. Look up “Stephan Speaks” that’s a True man of God! You’ll be pleasantly surprised to see that he doesn’t agree with All these wannabes. 🙏🏼
@@T.H-v4h Hate to break it to you but your father wasn’t as devoted to God as he thought he was. If he was, infinitely would’ve never happened or even crossed his mind because he knows that he will be judged harsher by God because he was supposed to be a Shepherd of Gods people and with his actions there will be A LOT of blood on his hands because other men will look at his behavior and think God is okay with it when he’s not.
@@T.H-v4hyour father is not a Christian. Bares the tag of one but not one in truth. They are barely many Christians out there. Be careful. Test the spirit that leads men and women. Stay blessed
@@jirehlozano6257I don't know why this is difficult for so many to understand.
Don't have a relationship centered existence
People lie and or change
Always have a way out and legal protections
Don't live with him without marriage
Don't marry without a prenuptial agreement
i really don't understand why living with him before marriage or not matters if the alternative is just... living by yourself and paying more money to do so? or living with parents you hate and are in constant fight or flight around?
@@こなた-m1o what would you suggest to ensure that a woman who is financially dependent on a man has protections against abuse or abandonment
It's about becoming overly dependant on someone too soon. Some people end up agreeing to marry not because they actually love each other, but because of the convenience/fear of losing each other/the dual income thing. So while it does make sense financially, doing it too soon can mess a lot of things up. Some people get too comfortable and don't want to move the needle forward if they already have someone playing husband/wife, and moving in together contributes to that.
Personally I think you need to be compatible in the home, so you should live together, but only after you are already engaged. That way you know you're already committed for love, not just convenience, and you can give it a trail run before legalities get involved.
I’m glad my husband and I lived together first bc if he didn’t step up around the apartment and be fair as we both worked full time, that wouldn’t have gone well. We vibed well - then we ended up getting custody of his nephew after my SIL passed away the year we got married anyway so thankfully we already had a solid family foundation. We got married early before our big ceremony since we were already playing house with our nephew.
I don’t agree with this. The problem is, as a stay at home gf or wife, you should be stashing money away for yourself and growing it through a business or investments. Duh. I was a stay at home mom and when we got divorced (my choice) I got a hefty alimony. Not I’m a stay at home girlfriend. And he’s always on his toes. Yes he had access to women that may look better than me. And I have access to men that are richer than him. BOOM💥
These are women that stayed with men that they weren’t married to or had babies out of wedlock or stayed with men that didn’t give them a set amount of money every month.
This is how they got played while staying at home.
Now they are fear mongering to the world that every woman should work a 9 to 5 and put their kids in daycare. I’m not buying it😂❤
Thanks for the honesty! You just showed why men should never get married. Your ex husband was a complete and total simp. Sprinkle Sprinkle. 😆 🤣 😂 😹
“stay at home GIRLFRIEND” doesn’t even makes sense to me.. At least get the ring to have legal rights…meh maybe it’s just me.
Wasting your youth is a nono. Take the time to build your credit score, stack your money, discover your passion and build your identity. No man will ever be able to take that away from you. You have no kids, so take that time to do all of that. I escaped a very toxic 4 year relationship and NEVER AGAIN! When you have nothing to your name, men are so quick to remind you of that
I have actually found that "godly men" are the worst offenders.
That married women thinks her men will never cheat. The life will humble her!
Let’s pray she does not have to go through anything negative in life and her family life 🙏🏻 Let’s not cast an evil eye on anyone if their opinions are different to ours. ❤
I find that Married men are the most single.
Like my mother always said “God bless the child that got his own.”
SAHG such a lovely name for the old fashioned mistress.
It’s ok to be a stay at home gf for a couple years to get yourself together, especially if you’re working towards something like education or starting a business, learning a skill, doing self improvement, but if you’re just doing nothing that’s not a good idea.
Exactly this is the way to go. I’m a stay at home girlfriend growing my investments and working on an advanced in demand degree.
"working towards" an education isn't staying at home. It is being on campus. If you stay at home for homemaking, be married. Really don't be a stay at home girlfriend.
As a working female in a happy relationship where we equally split bills, I can not fathom when someone’s only reason for existing is doing household and serving the man. There is so much to experience, achieve and know in life - it honestly makes me so sad seeing women sitting (being pushed or just because they wanted to) in such a patriarchal trap.
You know when she said “ When you give a man the power to feed you you also give him the power to starve you “ really did it for me and put it into a *WHOLE NEW PERSPECTIVE*
What are these women doing? 3 years as SAHG?! Nothing traditional about such a relationship.
🤷🏾♀️🤦🏿♀️
That is not a legal status sis.
PREACH 🗣️🗣️🗣️
Exactly, unstable, she should’ve been working & getting a certification in something.
I agree nothing traditional and she could have used time to get an online certification or degrees. However whats traditional about a woman working and refusing to pay her share of bills. Traditional you stay at home and take care of the children and the man provides. Nontraditional woman gets degrees and then works. The bills are split 50/50. It sounds like your trying to blend traditional with Nontraditional.
when a woman has powerful self esteem, she calls the shots in her life...if she wants to stay at home it's because she can afford to do this and no man has nothing to do with it becuz it's by her own choice....
😆 🤣 😂 😹 😆. Amusing
@@chattingman6777 its the truth...when a woman has her own money she can afford to live her life however she chooses too.....
My husband tried to sahgf me when he had to relocate overseas for work. I said no I need a bigger commitment and he proposed the next month… as soon as we moved I got some certs and went to college. Now I’m finishing my bachelors and a sahm to our 9 month old.
If you are going to remain a SAHM get your own bank account & pay money into it every month. Let him pay you for being a SAHM. You & your husband need to open a unit trust of other savings vehicle for you where you buy shares. Make sure he has a good life insurance policy with you beneficiary. Even with a education without experience it would be difficult to get into a career after 10, 15, 20 years. Make sure you have a plan B. Make sure your name is also on everything you own. Let him buy you the highest grade gold you can afford.
Stay at home means, " get your businesses off the ground while its still fresh and new."
-it means go get your masters that he is happy to pay 4.
-it means go get that reliable vehicle hes happy to pay 4.
-it means go workout, get your therapy, get ur business,get your sleep, get your rest....it means sell your recipe book, sell those candles you make at home as a hobby, sell those soaps you make 4 yourself, it means "style other men n women since ur so good at fashion. It means open those dance classes n teach others since you cant stop shakin' your booty !
It means get going b4 his life battery or his love interest battery dies on you.
If you dont value yourself and improve your condition......... How can he?
I feel having stable job isn’t even safe nowadays. You can do good job and try but there might be changes , new ceo, new acquisition and bum you are on a street! My fiancé got cancer at 33 and I was the only one taking care of him and working to keep our apartment and food and gas and everything! After he died I was at the bottom, no savings, my contract ended, I was anorexic and had no money to buy food or even go to a psychiatrist to seek some help. Now since I am alone I am looking for some side hustle or extra work because I don’t want to starve like I did in the past. It’s not easy though 😢 I am constantly in stress worrying about future and I work really hard 9 years no vacation or days off 😮😢 I just live in depression and stress and insecurities. It’s hard
Welcome to the brotherhood. You just described a average man's life in full detail. Sucks don't it.
I am so sorry you experienced all that. Losing the love of your life is unimaginable. Yes it's extremely important for a woman to have her own. My fiance provides but before he met me I already had my own investment property and business. When I accepted his marriage proposal he mentioned that he would be putting me as the beneficiary for his life insurance. Did your fiance leave anything for you or any of his things in his will as you were his main provider and carer. Shouldn't there be something in his will for you?
@chattingman6777 Brotherhood? This woman is putting in the work unlike you bums.
@@chattingman6777Hm, only in the life of a good man that worked hard, while providing good care to his sick, dieing woman ! There are very few of those! I only knew 3, while women in the same situation, I knew about 50 personaly, some with little kids, too. Unfortunately, men are more likely to drop their sick wives, than vice-versa.
I'm so sorry for your loss. It takes extreme strength to take care of a sick partner. I hope life looks up for you and everyone in your situation.
Life isn't fair, and sometimes love is a sacrifice.
18:09 she adopted all her nieces and nephews! Some of our mothers and grandmothers were saints in human form! They should be well taken care of in their old age.
resentment is real. I gave up a good career as a soldier and shouldn't have. it did make me feel less than him because he got his career and I wanted it. don't do it ladies!
Same! Then he left me.
She has valid points, but sahgf shouldn’t be grouped together with sahw. That man hasn’t married her after three years, but she’s cosplaying wifey. Glad she’s wising up though. ❤
Sprinkle sprinkle always talks about having skills to make your own money. I love how ppl talk about marriage to women like we propose. It’s really funny when ppl ask when I’m getting married. And we don’t like the way it looks when we see women getting down on one knee. Make sure you’re educated and use your talents. S/O to the women who are single and getting their own. Much love and respect.
Yes I’ve personally heard older men complaining about their wives wanted them to contribute more time to family (kids, etc). And they feel entitled to not contribute since they are the breadwinners. They feel the wives should be grateful they “get” to stay home.
Honestly being a stay at home girlfriend/mom/whatever sounds kinda boring. I mean I like shopping and makeup and working out. But I feel like it'd get boring fast. I have a career and purpose. It's fulfilling. I don't care how much money a man has--I will always have my own!
At the end of the day some people will always have to learn the hard way. There have been plenty of women before this young lady who warned against being completely dependent on a man and his money. Especially without having anything to fall back on. It sounds good to everyone to be completely taken care of until like she said, you realize that you'd literally have nothing without that person.
Never wanted to be married. Probably because I grew up Catholic and my Dad told me (when I was a teenager and was not even dating) that if I did not get married in the Catholic faith, he would not go to the wedding or recognize the marriage because marriage is a sacrament. I told him I didn't want to get married anyway.
I'm nearly 45 now, been with the same man for over 20 years. No kids. We've outlasted many of the marriages of friends and family over the years.
We bought a house together 5 years ago and a shared mortgage feels more binding than a marriage.
I guess I'm saying, relationships work out or they don't. Marriage doesn't guarantee crap. Always be able to depend on yourself,no matter how good the relationship is. Nothing lasts forever.
The cartoon is crazy!!! How did she age and he didn't??
Yah a guy told me that I would look ugly in my old age… I’m 31 and he’s in his 50s. 1) I will look more beautiful as an 80 year old vs him in his 50s bc he ain’t a looker anyway soooo ok and 2) my dad looks like he’s in his 50s and he’s 72 and I have his genes primarily sooooo I believe I will look really good for my age anyway. These are scare tactics.
Anyway women are valuable for more than our beauty (but we tend to age better than men in the beauty department anyway sooo men value women who are in their age group for maturity and life experience reasons). It’s just fearmongering.
When you are a “stay at home wife “ or mom it’s good to still continue your education , or part time work so you can be marketable . Also it’s good to definitely have your own income . With your own income you learn how to budget and save for a rainy day . The thing is it should go without saying that you can be able to support yourself and or your kids if anything happens to your spouse . As far as SAHGF are concerned , no judgement here but just be mindful , don’t s as allow men to stunt your growth and hinder you from achieving your goals while your young .
“My man would never do that to me…”, is the equivalent of a little girl saying she wants to become a princess when she grows up IMO. We all like calling an immature guy a man baby, but SAHGFs aren’t much different. They just volunteer to be infantilize. There nothing wrong with being care for, but you should at least care for your self. You may think that your man cares for you, but he can always change his mind.
Yes. You always need to have a safety net that you are responsible for and in control of. Regardless of how much you love and trust someone, always know you could leave whenever you need to.