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I wonder if this feeling I have about this episode is a “equity feels like discrimination to the privileged” thing because monogamy comes to me naturally, and is the privileged relationship type even tho I’m a black queer 🤔 or if the way I felt Jordan was treated for his relationship style as bad as I thought…it might be both….Damon and Tony had them “we have superior mindsets” faces on the whole time and tried to clean it up at the end….it doesn’t matter which type you have, you’re going to have problems unique to whatever relationship you have

i need the doll in white to speak up a little

Ya’ll have a great way of speaking about serious subjects in an easy and mature way. Pertaining to the whole “girl” thing so many people have a problem w that word. And it wasn’t until I got checked by someone I was dating and they explained it to me and I remember them telling me it was disrespectful. The last thing I want to do is disrespect someone when it’s unwarranted so I just removed it from my vocabulary when dealing with that person (or at least tried my hardest). Hopefully that helps.

Ya’ll have a great way of speaking about serious subjects in an easy and mature way. Pertaining to the whole “girl” thing so many people have a problem w that word. And it wasn’t until I got checked by someone I was dating and they explained it to me and I remember them telling me it was disrespectful. The last thing I want to do is disrespect someone when it’s unwarranted so I just removed it from my vocabulary when dealing with that person (or at least tried my hardest). Hopefully that helps.

Hmmmm... Where in hell is the representation of manly, homosexual men??!!! Wow!!🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔

The girls aren’t gurls, but the GURLS are indeed gurls.

We always wanna talk about hyper masculinity but then leave hyper femininity out. I’m just tired of seeing soo much neck rolling. Where are the gays that are ok with their “boy next door”

The one with the braids ( I’m bad with names lol) in the beginning when he answered the question about masculinity, he answered it perfectly. Nothing wrong with having a masculine attraction as a preference but where the issue lies is others who have disdain for those who don’t identify as such.

Why do we want relationships between 2 men to mirror heterosexual relationships? They can never ever be the same.

How can 5 grown men say "who's gonna be the boy" ? You're still men regardless of your character. Emasculating yourselves then turning around and blaming the community/society shows lack of accountability. Work on your own masculinity and become the men you want to see in the community.

I don’t care what you call me (Gurl), As long as you call me! 😂😂😂🤓 33:33

It’s the hypocrisy for me. Not sure why it’s okay for fems to want masculine men but it’s not okay for masculine men to want masculine men. With how bad dating is I’d like to think if most gay men were attracted to femininity they’d just choose to live a straight life with a woman. Stop trying to force it. People like what they like.

It becomes less of a preference when you insert the word “Only” into your preferences. i.e. I only like light skin, I only like white, I only like masc/fem which then borders on discrimination. 🤓 20:38

I do believe "masc" is a preference. And if someone is not into flamboyant/fem guys or others, you just have to decline politely :) Good manners are dying nowadays. I see more and more guys putting on profile or saying it in bars: i only look for fem guys, only trans girl/guy. Isn't it a preference ? Also , the corn industry (explosion of OF) makes people lean forward wheat they see: macho, masc, straight fantasy with gay4pay...

Y’all need my boy @boypleasewhateverpodcast on yall show

And yall delete comments? Weird, back to the Read

Yes it's toxic af.

Yes.

Herby!!! Love him.

The only people that think masculinity is toxic are those that have invested years of their lives being effeminate and cannot be masculine and ALSO wish they could. This is like men with smaller endowment, being mad at or labeling men that prefer larger endowment as toxic! The same way that man cannot change the size of his meat, effeminate men cannot usually mask their effeminate energy that they decided to put on. IF men can get on apps, specifying they want a certain amount of inches or bigger, if men of color can perpetuate a safe space for non blacks to request "BBC" and use other terms rooted in racism, then those of us that are masculine and prefer the same, especially those of us that like masculine bottoms, should not be labeled as toxic. It's to the point where i see brothas writing in their bios, they aren't endowed lol. what i would suggest is to be confident in how you show up. if you do not LIKE how you show up, do what you can to change it but love the ones that love you back.

Not y’all deleting my comments 😂😂 ok bet , I see where y’all stand . Y’all can’t handle real conversation

Thats beyond bias and willful blindness, from people who aren't masculine to suggest when the issue is toxic femininity, you dudes are the ones with the narcissistic issues that can't accept facts or reality its disgusting how much hate you have for being a man that level of shame is wicked , to have no empathy for other men still trying to get women's approval because you couldn't get your mother and queer is an insult that means weird and for mostly str8 people who are non-conformist who have never had homosexual relations but wish t take from the LGb what we fought for the same as immigrants taking affirmative action from black people and displacing them in society for racist anti black immigrants of color where black people are struggling

Y’all basically saying relax don’t be offended by me calling you gurl but, don’t call me a FA*G or Cun* … make it make sense

Glad I found yall podcast I been watching yall clips on ig. Keep up the great work.

Y’all definitely don’t want all gay to subscribe to yall page, y’all only want Fems to watch with the way y’all handle ur dialogue

This conversation definitely surface level , great name for podcast.. y’all did not go deep

4 Fems discussing toxic masculinity while not looking inward about themselves. Where’s the masculine balance in this conversation?

What about toxic Fems ? The fighting , the outing of other men , the drama filled life’s ? Let’s talk about it

‘I’m going home’ ‘I’m scared’ ‘Absolutely not’ ‘Some … times’ 😂

Trade?? What is that? How do we keep getting these new words to fall under? …..I agree also with not calling every gay man “gurl”. Some of y’all get too comfortable and try to put everyone in ur own box 📦 .

Thank you all for having these conversations. Continued growth and success to Surface Level Podcast!❤

The way I have needed Surface Level in my life! Thank you for this Christmas gift!

Always the fem ones complaining when they are the ones who reject another fem immediately because they are too “fish” or they see them as “sisters” start with the fems who the majority reject other fems in favor of masc first. Then go the masc to masc guys.

thank yall for this 🙇🏽‍♂️

when are y’all going to have a dark skin on the show ? like not the lighter brown skin shade but dark skin fem or something

Before i listen: Very A lot of internal judgement externalized. From personal past sentiments, growth and current experiences.

Thank you

I don’t understand the need for all gay men to be feminine. There is a scale between femininity and masculinity.

Girl! it's a boundary issue.

It can be and misogynistic

Especially at work! People will talk bad about you!! As long as you get your work done, get your paycheck, ignore them.

❤❤❤❤

Mmmmm, Hello😜

So much to be said still towards the last 10 min. We need a part 2🥹🥹

I agree with Jordan sexy butt.

I love how yall difference in opinion but respect each other

what a beautiful episode. it definitely opened me up to some blindspots I have.

Jordan is so precious. The way how he explains "lock it down" really shows the growth because I don't think he would have ever been able to articulate his views this much about his relationship. Kudos that you found someone who gets you and y'all can be on the same page or spreadsheet. I also appreciate the different perspectives of non monogamy especially when Damon explains how things can be better with folks that you know vs being with strangers or anonymous folks. Also, Tony, are y'all gonna talk about that friends sleeping with each other part.....38:45 👀

Congratulation my brother on ten years, you all have been a great help to so many of us who are still discovering who we really and and what we want to become. Each segment is a source of help to all of us. Thanks again

I really enjoyed this episode fellas. I took a moment to listen not only to Serpentwithfeet, i also listened to Willow’s current album, and i have to say it was giving me a Joanie Mitchell vibe, and i dug it. I’am gonna pop it on later to just vibe with it to see if i have the same reaction. Go head Girl!