Abusive Tactics and In-sight of the Narcissistic Mother-in-law Part 1
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 12 ก.ย. 2024
- Hello all, thanks for tuning in.
This is Part 1 of my first TH-cam video explaining some
of the abuse tactics/dynamics of the Narcissistic mother-in-law,
and some of my first-hand account of having dealt with one. Keep in mind this particular mother-in-law is more Overt than Covert.
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Part 2 of this video: • Abusive Tactics and In...
I do not go into too much detail of what went on personally, but I may make more formal videos as times goes on since I know there are not that many videos specifically out on the narc mother-in-laws as of late.
I do this to say if you are in a situation that sounds anywhere similar please note that you may be dealing with a narcissist and that you are not alone, nor are you crazy.
Please leave your comments below if you have your own story, or if you have any questions I will do my best to answer them.
Give a thumbs up on this video if you would like to hear more of this story or other information regarding the narcissist and their abusive ways.
thanks!
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My MIL is calculated. She is controlling beyond belief. And my husband sticks up for her. She’s passive aggressive and she’s always the victim. She favors one of her grandchildren over our daughter. She is so awful!!!
This is my mother in law! She was an evil snake woman! She passed about 2 1/2 years ago. My husband insists on having this old picture of his parents in our livingroom. I want to use it for dart practice!
Do not use it as toilet paper, because your body is to precious for that kind of evil
Total trauma bond. Did he ever speak I'll of her when she was living? Was he mistreated?
@@mamakitty5274 he had the whole son husband thing with her. She played with his emotions and would only accept hom if he was doing what she wanted. He dont seem to understand that their relationship was not normal. She did no wrong in his eyes.
I feel this
You’re lucky she passed! 👍👍 I know it sounds horrible but no doubt this world would be a better place without these people
This is scarily accurate. My MIL set me up for the “interrogation” when I met her brother and sister in law. I was totally naive someone would do this. The first time I met them, they sat me down for two hours questioning/drilling every part of me(my past, my character, my intentions). For two hours! At the time I took it because I cared about my fiancé, but looking back now I’m completely disgusted she would set me up like that. Unfortunately, it was just the beginning of what narcissistic behavior of hers was to come. Interestingly enough I turned out to be a good person for my fiancé, but I will never look at her brother and SIL in a good light.
I had an overtly narcissistic mother-in-law who refused to consider me (nor either of my two brother-in-laws) a member of the family. For over 16 years, before her death, I felt like a kid who wasn't invited to the birthday party standing outside with my face pressed against the window watching the festivities going on inside.
It feels good to be free of her.
What is you meant nor your brothers in laws recognized you , please explained to me
@@nancynahnigoh3550
She didn't consider me or her son-in-laws members of her family; we were made to feel unwelcome.
@@LyndieLouWho oh so sorry to know that , I don’t have daughter in laws , I am always consider my son -in- laws like my own sons , I treated them equally , if I have daughter in-law that is wonderful cos I have one son only , I have 4 son in laws , they are from different back ground , I accepted them all and always welcome them home , in your cases I think your mother in laws felt jealous due to insecure cos her children love their partners more than her I guessed , anyway don’t worry you have your days any times now be happy don’t let yourself into it , be free from that thoughts even you are being trapped in that situations, may God blesses you always thank you for your infos
That's how my MIL is like to all the inlaws. Nothing we do is ever good enough for her and her children. opposite as my parents love and embrace inlaws and I love my sibling's partners and their families.
@@user-qz9og6fj4o take care of yourself well , times will let them know that how wonderful person you are , wishing you always happy despite all these unwanted situations happening around , stay healthy and beautiful inside outside always , God blesses you and your families
When they talk about others don't engage. Change the subject. Tell them to pray for that person. They will quickly be let down by your response.
So true!
Dude I feel her eyes on me and my body all the time! It sends shivers down my spine
It is a very creepy feeling. I could almost sense the wicked energy crept off of her onto to me at times. Something I may never forget.
10:27 you are so right! I'm glad I'm able to relate to these videos because it helps a lot.
There's a lot of could say here, but the most recent thing was she knows I have an INTENSE fear of spiders. This is something she knows very well. Well right before Christmas she orders an extra "surprise" for my five year old son (her grandson) for Christmas. She told me it was coming in the mail and for me to open it. I open it and it's this GIANT realistic walking tarantula toy. My son has zero interest in bugs, and I am convinced that this "extra surprise" was meant for me. The moment I opened it I was extremely upset, and my husband was as well. He returned it and she was angry about it. He called her to explain the situation,
even though she already knew, and just proceeded to get angry I'm not even apologize the way someone would if they didn't realize. But she knew because she was there a couple weeks prior when I had a freak out over a big spider in the house.
It's stuff like this that's so mean and manipulative under the guise of a "gift ".
Thanks you,i felt so lonely until i discovered there is a whole lot of us out there,all my love to all the victims of narcabuse
♥️♥️
I am crying,i am not alone,i even said to my mother,leave me, because off you alle,Dave, you are the anomalie
Know you are not alone ♥️ I hope you find peace by getting away from the narc abuser in your life. You did no wrong
@@stayawayfromnarcs1409 Thanks 😘
My mother in law first met me talked all about herself. She didn’t ask anything about me. Narcissism comes in many forms, and I don’t think she realize that she’s a narcissist even to this day, even after almost 11 years still doesn’t realize she’s a narcissist.
My Mother in Law is a Narcissist, She treats my Husband and My Brother in Law like they are her Husbands. For a while she was kissing her adult sons on the lips very creepily and would rub on their backs in a weird way like she was their wife and than would look over at me and my sister in law to see if we were watching. She gaslights and has to have all the attention on herself it does not matter if it's negative or positive attention she needs it. She is disrespectful, plays favorites and is very bossy. She even fell on purpose and reinjured herself just to get her sons attention. She is crazy!!!!
Ew I'm sorry you have to witness that:/ yes, you are right. a lot of these narc mothers are incestuous with their sons especially and will treat them like husbands. It is truly sick.
@@stayawayfromnarcs1409 Yes it's very sick and creepy
Been there done that - so gross ! Yuck. Bats in the belfry. Catty, airs above the ground, arrogant and fake.
I recognise this one! It’s as weird as hell
My MIL admitted herself to the hospital twice when I was visiting.
My MIL would spy on me and my husbands conversations too, its so creepy.
My mother-in-law is abusive to me constantly talking about me behind my back, making back handed comments to my face and being horribly passive aggressive with every step. I think it’s her goal to get rid of me.
Don’t let her win!!! I’ve been dealing with mine for over 16 years. He’s now learned that how she acts is not ok and doesn’t have her around often.
When I married her son, she truly believed (and still believes) I "owed her my birth right". 🤦♀️
This is facts because the Jezebel spirit running them will want to destroy your birth right... this happens to me and it happened to my eldest son. So your in fact correct ( I was the first born of my family and Kellan was the first born)
My narc took to asking my friends “what’s so great about her” at my bridal shower. 2 years later she was still asking my best friends these same questions. Lady, you could have gotten to know me yourself but as I’m not giving you the ammunition you need, you attempt to go around me. On our wedding weekend, she told his best man my husband was now an ex son. Wild.
I don't think my mil was a narc but she grilled me too, it was never a visit, it was an fact finding mission. I felt like an outsider and still do.
She may not be a full blown narc but still can be toxic to your life, please try to hold firm boundaries with her and don’t succumb to their toxic ways. Know you you always have a support system like this one, or counseling to help you out if that mother-in-law makes you go through it. Do not let her control your self-worth.thank you for sharing 🙌🏽
It's she a libra?
@@elementalbuttahfly8510 no
My mother in law is a monster.
So is mine after yrs of her toxic shit I've gone no contact. She still has a smear campaign going. Everyone outside her house thinks she's a lovely woman.
I feel you ❤️
@@Veronica-eg2sp I can completely relate. I've learned to accept that the smear campaigns do continue, but she is really the one living an angry, lonely, insincere and depressing life.
Is wanting to know every little thing you guys do like EVERY thing part of this
Yes!
Definitely
Let me tell u this. No lie, this is EXACTLY what happened to me yo word for WORD! JESUS this is CRAZY
Thank you for your input 🙌🏽❤️ I appreciate so much. And yes it is scary the way all narcs work in this way. Especially these mothers and mother in laws
My narcissist mother in law treated me very well at first. I guess that was the love bombing faze. It was not long after the marriage that the devaluing started.
Before me and my husband got married my mother in law was kinda pushing me into having a baby and I wouldn’t think that she would say that with her being a missionary at her church. The day we got married we couldn’t have a proper honey moon due her blowing up our phones. She would sneak and ask my husband for money behind my back. She tell lies behind our back. Talk about us and she is definitely a dishonest person. She popped up over our house without talking to us first and my husband was upset and told her that she don’t respect our household and she tries to find a way to play victim. She has said ugly things and has always disrespected me and my boundaries. She lies and say that we keep the kids from her but she would always tell me I’m going to come get the kids and never did so I gave up because I don’t chase people down for nothing. My husband has stopped calling her and they don’t talk too often. She got upset when we didn’t come have Thanksgiving with her the first year of us being married. Just selfish because we wanted to start our family gathering. She would try to make everything about her. He said he won’t allow anyone to disrespect me.
I’m glad you guys are both keeping much needed distance away then! And it’s super good he knows not to let her disrespect you 🙌🙌
Thank you! I broke down when you said: I salute you…😭
My mother is the narcissist; true evil. When I was in her presence she said things to me no one else would ever know about. But when she was in their company, the subject matter meant that I was "nuts" and unbalanced, when she herself was the one in the first place who told me about it. Then she plays true innocence to others, and the devil to me. Sucked my "future husband" in before we married; struck with a vengeance together. It is undoubtedly true evil. I appreciate your story and your videos. They are outstanding for those of us who need this information to become familiarized so more people can avoid the tragic life they will lead after entering any relationship with one of them. TU :)
Thank you so much for your input . I hope you are well now and not being disturbed by their presence
If for me , I don’t care at all , I just think of them not existing around me that is how I ignore their bad comments about me , I just never let in their negative gossips and thinking into my life
This is such a good response. Practising doing this myself more & more. They are just damaged people who have not acknowledged their need of healing. A whole & healthy person doesn’t attempt to bring another person down - they don’t need to.
@@lianacollier7064 yes life must be beautiful , happy , harmony and free from all hold on past life , let it go there are bright future waiting , good lucks to all
Haha! I don't know why I'm still amazed that the Narcs are all basically the same person. I'm fairly well convinced that they're demon possessed or at least strongly influenced by demons.
Yes, the very first time I met her my MIL (Sneaky, conniving and covert but leaning toward overt. I'm very surprised more people didn't see through her.) sat there and grilled me over a lie her son told her about me and she was angry and leaning way into my space bubble making me very uncomfortable. To this day I wish I had gotten up and left right then and there. FIL sat there and said nothing. Husband had dropped me off with them and disappeared. I should have left but I arrived with my then boyfriend and didn't have a ride home and I lived on the outskirts of the other side of town 9 miles away and I lived out in the country, it wouldn't have been safe for me to walk home. MIL was really drunk and was rudely ordering the server to bring her another carafe of wine because she was polishing off the one she had. This was in the middle of the day at her granddaughter's 5th birthday party.
My MIL swung back and forth between being bitchy and love bombing.
Wait, why did your story cut off without finishing?
thank you so much for your input. Yes these MIL are evil in disguise! And there is a part 2 to this video where you can hear the rest of my story. Please refer to part 2 of this video here: th-cam.com/video/HplfaVVM4TM/w-d-xo.html&ab_channel=StayAwayFromNarcs
I don’t go to Christmas Day anymore yay I’m free haha
😢sounds like my mother in law to the max. Thank you for this as I am continuing to cut the bridge down
I told my mother inlaw Im on a diet
I don't eat shit anymore
At first I was like why ? Why doesn't she like me. I was like yeah Im going to make her like me. And how can I make her happy ? This goes on for years. Years ! Then one day I'm like yeah but Do I like her ? Answer that everybody. Ask yourself that question but much more quickly than I did.
Letting the narc MIL meet your parents is a big mistake. Their plan is to outdo your parents to gain your preference and then use it against you once you are hooked.
I'm from another county and I'm living without my family for so many years and I definitely had PTSD which I feel made me more of a target bc I was vulnerable ... I love my mother in law and I lived with her for many years, it took me so many years to realize I was being abused, because it was so finely done.
I still love her bc she has an amazing light and good side, idk I see a broken woman and I wanna help her but she doesn't want my help.
Thank you so much for the informative video, it's good not to feel so alone about it all.
You have described a "Street angel, and house devil"
Mine would say amazing things about me in front of family or other people BUT in privet she will say nasty things to me; then come out to public with smily face
My ex mother had one lesson to learn : I have no master or mistress I only have God .
so true thank you
My MIL is incredibly manipulative. She told my wife, "Since you got married, you've changed. You've chosen your husband over me.
My ex mil used to walk in on me when I got out of the shower. Happened twice. That was enough. I never showered there again. Miserable rotten woman. All she did to me and him too. But he never stood up for me or himself. This is why he is now my EX 🎉
They never respect boundaries. Every woman in my best friends life are extreme narcissists. His wife, his mother in law and his three daughters.
His wife will walk through any door without knocking, office, bedroom, anything. I saw her walk in her son in law while he was changing.....after I told her he was in there changing. I told her husband about it and he just shook his head and said she always does things like that.
They are really really toxic people.
Im with you girls, my toxic polish boomer MIL always treat me like shit, shes poor and never worked, always asking my husband for money, til tje day she stole our money we got as wedding gift from my mother, we live in Norway. Recently I got pregnant and she she said she is not going to get involved and for 3 days I listened what i suppose to eat, drink, do etc. and was pissed i didn't want to listen and told her i will ask my friend who gave birth 2 years ago and have recent information,she was so pissed it ended in fight
Accurate.
Thank you
Thank you!
Mine had me hospitalized for "psychosis" for standing up for myself and realizing my worth and value after 10 years of narcissistic abuse from her son. Then while I was hospitalized kicked me out of her home with nowhere to go. Now I sleep in the car in front of her home because I refuse to go to a shelter and be away from my daughter. Meanwhile she tells her son the situation breaks her heart. Lmao wtf?!?!
I am so sorry this happened to you. They are truly evil people. Is there any way you can get your daughter out? Or possibly speak to a lawyer or a social worker that understands narcissistic abuse so you both can find a safe place away 🙏🏽
@@stayawayfromnarcs1409 I honestly don't know what to do at this point. Lately every day is just a struggle trying to decide if I have to strength to even try to pick the pieces up at this point
I am so sorry 😞 I know the strength it takes. I hope you are able to find counseling or someone in your area that understands this and can help get you the empowerment you need 🙏🏽you’re not alone.
@@stayawayfromnarcs1409 thank you so much I greatly appreciate your kind words 🙏
@@nicwilliams3660 honestly, thank your lucky stars that you are OUT! Good things are in store for you because your heart is pure. You will get your daughter. Keep yourself going in love and light. Tell people what is happening. Doors will open for you! Please see a lawyer and tell them you have no money. Goodness will prevail. Do not go back in there. The best thing you can do is build a strong sense of self and let your daughter see you working through this.
My former mother in law was a viper!
This is my same story..both of your part1 and part 2 video..i was also fallen in trap like this..exactly same situation i was went through..here is my current story..please advice what should i do if you can...wanna ask something if someone can help me to decide.
My marriage is already in verge of divorce because of my toxic in laws and narscissit mother in law. Intially my husband tries to alert me about his home environment and everything which i tried to follow. He told me not to involve much to his family members and family issue. Sometimes he talks against his mother. But sometime he feel pitty for her. After facing lot of fights, abusements and all from his parents i finally left his home.
He tries to set boundries intially but his parents wont respect those boundries at all. And his mother use it for trangulations gaslighting and love bombing to me..
I am so much confused now..should i stay in this relationship, waiting that one day he will understand and take actions..or should i move on take divorce.
My in laws are continously calling my relatives and telling them all lies..that i was someone not committed to this marriage and my husband is already supporting them. He is saying what is mother told him to say..
I told if he wants that this marriage will work he has to live seperately from his parents in a seperate house..which he is clearly denying..morever they telling lies to my relatives and pressuring me to come back in their conditions. Society is pressurizing me not to take divorce..what should am i gonna do..
I cant even explain everyone about this narcssim and all..
Please someone can help me here..
Hello, I apologize for getting to your comment this late but thank you for your patience! Puja, I am so sorry you are going through this
Your own wellbeing is what counts. Forget about what society or anyone else thinks and get out of there!
Filipina? Just saying. My MIL is and this sounds like her.
She was actually from the Middle East, but I’ve seen that narc MIL can be from anywhere it’s disturbing
Mine went straight to hell. What a miserable evil person she was
Ok so my son is 18m and everytime he visits his 'mimi' he starts hitting me and doesn't want to go with me. At first she was all oh that is so weird. So weird. Then I started to be like well he doesn't see you much so he prob misses you. Then after that she started to say I'm jealous of how he is with my bf. I just can't believe it. But I've also noticed she neeeeeeever is ok with her kids significant others. I just wish I saw this a few years ago
Hell no its not normal or biblical ok! I was jealous of her!!!
Ewwwww
no family is perfect,