How Best to Manage Your Moods
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 18 มิ.ย. 2024
- Every life is in the end made up of a succession of moods - happy ones and sad ones, despairing ones and joyful ones. When we're in our better moods, we sometimes think we might be able to stabilise our moods completely in an optimal direction - and never shift into the more troublesome ones. But the art of living isn't to banish our moodiness, it's to learn to navigate it with wisdom and humour.
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FURTHER READING
You can read more on this and other subjects here: bit.ly/37EQJUW
“Far more than we are inclined to accept and sometimes even realise, we are creatures of mood: that is, our sense of our value as human beings is prone to extraordinary fluctuation. At times, we know how to tolerate ourselves, the future seems benevolent, we can bear who we are in the eyes of others and we can forgive ourselves for the desperate errors of the past.
And then, at other points, the mood dips and we lament most of what we’ve ever done, we see ourselves as natural targets for contempt, we feel undeserving, guilty, weak and headed for retribution and disaster…”
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How do you deal with your moods? Share your experience with us in the comments below. Perhaps you could help someone else. Be sure to subscribe to the channel if you haven't already and turn on notifications to ensure you don't miss our next film.
The School of Life Dear Alain, may you please make a video on the Law of Attraction?
There is a book called "The Chimp Paradox" that is a more detailed version of this video, it truly changed my life and I am sure can help many others. Check it out :)
Drink coffe and meditate
I deal with my mood by giving up to whatever the mood I feel.
When I meditated properly (and more or less regularly) I noticed my moods didn't sway me nearly as much. I was also able to stop myself from making impulsive/unnecessary purchases. Now I don't meditate and instead play video games as short-term distractions.
“Let everything happen to you: beauty and terror.
Just keep going. No feeling is final.”
- Rainier Maria Rilke
Amen
Loved this quote!
Well said
Wow!!
Jojo Rabbit? :)
I greet the mood as an inconvenient visit of an old friend. I invite the mood to tell its story that I already know from A to Z. When the story is told, I ask it if it is finished and what it needs from me. Most of the times it is a hug, some loving remarks and the assurance that all will be fine. When the mood is melting, I thank it for stopping by. This ritual works best for me if I take a walk or a shower.
Sounds really good!!
Fantastic. vary nicely put.
Sounds like the poem by the Sufi poet. The visitor.
I like the video ‘Didn’t I tell you’, based on Sufi words.
Powerful.
This sounds sweet, gonna try it out too.
Thanks for sharing :)
1. Learn to manage your vulnerability
2. Edit our social life
3. Vulnerable friendships
4. Honour the body
5. Disrespect a mood
+
Thanks for the summary nice one
Editing your social life is almost impossible!
We need more heroes like you in this world
At least 3 of those bullet points are pointless and need a bullet! Smh
I really loved Alain's voice. It's like he's my online therapist.
I listen to this videos when I want to go to sleep
bulk_manifesto Yeah it’s so soothing
Same!! And he sounds sexy af.
Totally agree.
I always watch these videos when I'm feeling overwhelmed with my emotions and his voice and the contents of his words always bring me back down 💙
“This too, shall pass” my fav quote
And one of my favorite Ok Go songs 🎶🎵🎶🎵
Great quote. First heard it in a 12 step program :-)
" You shall not pass!" (my inner Gandalf)
It's been 20 years; is it passing yet?
@@spinnetti I use that one myself to banish certain moods and thought patterns from my mind...
We all have mood swings, some more than others. It's important to recognize how your moods impact others as well, especially those closest to you. One thing that has helped my wife and I manage each others moods is being up front about it. When I'm "grumpy", I will let her know pretty quickly, so she knows not to take my agitated moods to heart.
It has helped avoid sooo many arguments, fights, or just plain annoyances with each other.
Communication is key.
THIS! Sooo much of this!
This is already a quite difficult thing to do, because it means being able to identify and be aware of our mood before it even has affected anyone.
If everyone trained such skills and communicated more, relationships would become twice as interesting and fulfilling.
Nice job!
@@aizen_3d I guess you're right. I really appreciate you pointing that out.
Being able to identify your moods in the first place certainly requires some self discovery and it has taken me, and our relationship, many years to master that.
i want to cry
Communication is the most important key in Relationships.
You have to be on the same page with your significant other, and know where you stand.
How to best manage it? Don't deny it, don't pretend to be okay when you know you've reached your limit. Nothing is more important than our mental and emotional state. If these two are in a bad situation, the rest can easily crumble, so face them and after some time, act on them.
Stopping eating sugar, starting exercising and meditating daily.
This is what helped me most.
Also, be as kind to people much as your mood allows you to.
Fenrisatr True, I cant tell you how many times I crashed and lashed out at people before realizing I was simply coming off a sugar high
That's brillant.Well Done .
This is a constant struggle. The consciousness of wanting to be kinder despite the bad mood is such a pain. In think the key is not to be guilty about it
Too true i have a feeling that i should cut out gluten too
Nice
"This too shall pass" is my ultimate way to deal with whatever life throws at me
"You cannot keep birds from flying over your head, but you can keep them from building a nest in your hair" - Martin Luther
You have no idea how much I need this.
This channel has helped me a lot, like for real. I learned to be more patient and understanding of people around me. And I’m not irritated so easily. Idk about y’all, but the videos gave me a new perspective on things and/or gave my brain a refresh on things I usually don’t pay attention to. Less toxic life. Thanks for that.
Same here. I believe School of Life has taught me a lot. Not only did it prepared me for having a successful relationship (whilst I was still single at the time) but more especially they helped me to be kinder to myself :)
I have been loving all the things I learn from this channel. I feel like it's helped me grow and understand myself more for sure. But then, sometimes if I don't feel like a self improvement video, I can pop over to learn about cool bits of history or literature instead. I recommend this channel to folks whenever the opportunity arises.
How can someone's voice so perfect and such a computeristic tone..
he's paid very well ;)
Your bff is not a therapist but a good conversation with a loved one can make all the difference.
ANd anyone who constantly ducks anything emotional, is more likely to be a narcissist than a friend. Don't expect anything from them.
I was going through PMS, needed this 😢
Natasha Nayak wow, me too!
We have stopped for a moment to encounter each other, to meet, to love, to share. This is a precious moment, but it is transient. It is a little parenthesis in eternity. If we share with caring, lightheartedness and love, we will create abundance and joy for each other. And then this moment will have been worthwhile.
This is a new way of presenting.
Love it!
We are mostly water!
Here’s to all thin skinned people out there💕
Lol. Put in a very lovely way. Thank you.
Just thought this today...! "I'm a slave to my mood" and then School of Life uploads a video on the subject! Uncanny timing...now lemme actually watch the video lol
The more calm of a lifestyle you have, the more used to serenity you'll become.
Knowing that, every time emotions are aggravated, you'll know better that to react to them.
*Never take permanent decisions based on temporary emotions.*
Not gonna subscribe.
@@appleslover
Lol savage life.
Every self care video I watch, I can see your comment. This shows how much sincerity you have 🙏
Meditation is to be aware of every thought and of every feeling, never to say it is right or wrong but just to watch it and move with it. Jiddu Krishnamurti
Meditation is so overrated
Adnan Sawaf Thats your opinion, i think it heavily depends on the person. Just saying it‘s overrated seems dumb tho
At least in Zen, that's just your induction into meditation. You watch every thought and every feeling like watching clouds float by until you realize, like the clouds, you have no control. It's a tool to get people to realize that desire is the root of all suffering... and the desire to stop desiring is in itself a desire.... That all attempts to quell your mind fail. To purposefully meditate is an oxymoron.
Of course, many Zen masters would also say any attempts to explain is inaccurate and a shame to do so... as "the sound of rain needs no translation."
Edit: This is not to say Jiddu Krishnamurti is wrong, not in the slightest. Just that this is one small quote from a vast collection of his works. And you can't explain the unexplainable... If meditation intrigues you, do it. If you find it overrated, don't do it. 'There are many paths to the top of a mountain.'
reminds me of something my yoga instructor would say .. "notice where you are .. without any judgement"
“ I think this is the most releasing thing that anyone can possibly understand. That your inner feeling is never wrong. That is to say, what you feel... it’s never wrong that you feel that way. It may not be a right guide as to what you should do.
In other words, if you feel that you hate someone intensely, it isn’t necessarily the right way of dealing with that feeling to go out and cut his throat. But it is right, that you should have that feeling of hating... or if being sad.. frightened.. terrified.. whatever it is.”
~Alan Watts. (Quote starts at 4:44)
th-cam.com/video/-RnafTtXMYI/w-d-xo.html&app=desktop
Wow I needed this tonight 💓
You need me more haha
Me, too!
Me too
@@megtucker6467 How are you? To feel better reduce negative thoughts. Your breathing is closely related to the brain [mind] and gives good relief from stress-anxiety. To relax sit on a chair or lie down, neck straight, eyes closed and observe the sensations of your incoming--outgoing breath at the entrance of the nostrils for 5-10-15 minutes or more. Don’t fight your thoughts. With daily practice the mind will relax. No deep breathing needed. Do the practice without any expectations. When taking a walk, when reading, before sleep etc observe your breath sensations. Like me, make this a lifetime daily habit to have a better life. Reduce negative social media and avoid constipation as it affects the mind instantly. Best wishes--Counsellor.
I need to manage my stress levels because it affects my mood and how I interact with others. I don't take it out on others however people can tell when I'm stressed or worried because I go quiet and I zone out a lot.
I lost count of how many times this channel has helped me. Thank you for putting valuable content out into the world.
Meditation is freedom from thought and a movement in the ecstasy of truth. Meditation is explosion of intelligence. Jiddu Krishnamurti
Even after months of listening, I still get the most needed comfort and wisdom from The School of Life.
Same!
Feeling trapped and sad because of covid-19, needed this
I'm so sorry to hear that you have Covid. It's not much fun to say the least. I hope you'll be well soon. I don't know if these breathing exercises are really helpful but you could check with your doctor if they are a good idea. th-cam.com/video/bBkGDIeQwXo/w-d-xo.html
"This too shall pass.", I think that's the main lesson that I learned in Vipassana. Regard every mood (or sensation) as an equal for it will eventually go and new ones will arise.
4:12
"it's just that
we may need to lie down
for an hour,
or urgently
have a glass
of orange juice"
I was feeling sleepy while watching this. Such a sweet and soft voice
Sometimes, dark despair seems like the true reality and, hope just fantasy
Your despair sounds very deep. A friend introduced me to tapping on acupressure points and it is very helpful. www.thetappingsolution.com/ Also you may like to read Andrew Leigh's book "Reconnected" www.amazon.com.au/Reconnected-Community-Builders-Andrew-Leigh-ebook/dp/B085HJ3JPJ I really hope your despair lifts soon.
I used to be completely at the mercy of my moods, but after a break up I could just feel how I wanted and it didn't affect anybody else. What a relief, and because I wasn't bottling everything all my moods passed much easier! Now I'm in a new relationship, and I don't know how I survived so long in the old relationship trying so hard to be emotionally stable all the time, and have all my moods fully justified. I hope everybody finds somebody who lets them have a mood without taking it too seriously. Our moods are like tides, and they need space to go in and out!
You are one of those friends who I definitely have to keep on my address list. Thank you, SOL! 💛
This channel is my inspiration. I have started my own channel to help others. My ways to manage your mood 😊🙏 love from India
The Bramha Viharas & Anapanasati meditations encapsulate, cultivate, amplify & nurture these very insights, faculties of awareness & reality🧘🏼♂️🙏🏻💝
Always have to watch these videos twice, once to appreciate the animation and then to actually listen lol
This channel is gold. Slowly getting over a bunch of betrayals. Mood, emotions, feelings... these are our strongest and weakest elements as humans. They either break us or make us. Learn to stifle your emotions early on or they will severely hurt you when you get screwed over by those that you thought you could trust.
You've severely misinterpreted the message
I would like to suggest that you're wise to not instantly express each passing emotion but that you should later listen to those feelings. I believe that we should respect our feelings but we shouldn't assume they are always correct interpretations of everything. For instance, when you get betrayed by a trusted friend, it's understandable that you would feel hurt and indignant. You don't deserve that treatment. However, within the politics of your family or friendship group, it may be impossible to express your disappointment. However you can still think some thoughts which show that you respect yourself e.g. "That person really betrayed my trust and I feel very hurt and disappointed. She may have done that because she has no respect for me or perhaps because she just acted on a stupid impulse. I have made mistakes myself at times so I know how easy it is to do that. I'll know in future to not trust her but I can also be quietly friendly to her because I choose to maintain the harmony of this group of friends." Or you may have some other thoughts. Your thoughts show that you have listened to your feelings, that you have respected your experience and that you value yourself. Perhaps at some time, there may come a chance for you to gently explain how you felt e.g. "I felt rather hurt when you said blah, blah, blah ..." Or you may just keep things to yourself.
I use to show anger. I still do but I use to too. Lol.
Na I've learned to separate myself from my thoughts. Like passing clouds. Just observing. Understand why before judging or justifying. People don't change, we only make better decisions.
Stay calm. ;)
Have faith..Not hope
That's helpful.
It is unbelievable, how good you explain things and how very helpfull your insights are to me.
Thanks a thousand times for your good work.
Please hang on.
A big thumbs up!
Incredible. I am dealing with the sudden loss of a treasured spouse after 21 years of happiness neither of us could comprehend. Staying the course has been very difficult for me, but I try to find inspiration wherever I can, and this particular video is very helpful. Thank you.
Forever thankful that I came across The School of Life. So wise and basically my therapist! Love your videos so much... thank you, thank you!!! ❤️ I was so happy to come across some of your books at my local book store too.
This is the best TH-cam channel i have learnt alot from.Salute to thee from North Africa,Morocco.
you're brother from Algeria salutes you back
@@kassourinasreddine9024 We used to be one nation back then.However we still shar alot of things in common,includin blood,history and backgrounds.We still do despite the fact that we are divided by borders which was manipulatively planned by the traitor's as there's power in uniting together
Allah y7fdk liya
I'm a Colombiana vacationing for the first time in Tetouán. Yay! 😁
@@IRosamelia Oh that's awesome you are exploring Tetouan c which is one of the most neat and tidy cities that are worth visiting in Morocco.I live in Tangier which is also a norther Moroccan city 20 away from Tetouan.... that's known for its charming touristic spots and it's windy indecent weather in all seasons
Anyway,be safe and have a nice vacation there
@@khaldoun-yolo4197 Thank you Khalid, I'm getting married to a moroccan man from Tetouan later this year so I'm basically walking on the clouds at the moment 😄☁️☁️😄
This channel speaks to me in ways that no one around me knows how to. I usually don't feel better when speaking out about my mood swings and mental issues, but these videos always helps me calm down. Thank you so much.
my friend apologized to me for having to watch these, but i’ve never been so grateful for such a helpful resource that has continued to help with my personal growth. thank you!
You’re telling me food and alcohol isn’t the answer???
I think if food and alcohol isn't the answer, the reason is everyone isn't same.
After new depression episode I also realized that not dealing with emotions can be very harmful. So maybe yes, you can try politely ignore moods. But at the same time if you don't feel better you must change strategy. I prefer to write essays on my feelings or talk about them with friend or even AI bot. Simply admitting and digging into emotions can erase them for a long time and very fast (20-40 min).
ps I did CBT and understand that our emotions do not reflect reality but that alone doesn't make ignoring moods to work for me.
I agree. Just ignoring emotions doesn't work for me. They usually have something to tell me but may be made worse by tiredness or hunger etc. My approach is to take notice of my feelings when I can find the chance to do so. I prefer to respect them. The feeling may be telling me that I'm restless and should get out and connect with others. Or the feeling may be telling me that I've worked at one thing for long enough and I need a refreshing break. Sometimes I may feel two things at once e.g. I feel happy to be with someone but also a sad feeling. The sad feeling might be that this person doesn't want to listen to my opinion but only their own. I feel that I can respect both feelings - yes, I like this person but I'm also sad that there is something a little missing in the relationship. I may just accept that this particular friendship is like that but another friendship has other qualities. I think feelings can often offer some insights into things needing attention in our lives but we shouldn't assume that every feeling is completely permanent or accurate. They are more like indications that we could usefully think about something.
That' s a good idea! Like journaling how you feel, why, triggers, things you can maybe do to change your mood 🙂
Thanks for this. I have overwhelming mood swings from being content and happy with my life and self to feeling sad, hopeless and lost.
i love all of these! can i ask why don't you have a podcast with all these on it? the animations are beautiful, but it would be great to be able to listen to these while out and about too. i would love that.
The School of Life is indeed the best school to give away the most important stuff we need to understand. Thanks is such a little word to express gratefulness! Bless you all
How can I cruise this life without you school of life, thank you!
Sometimes your videos seem like you're directly speaking to me! Thank you so much for creating them. I hope I can create something similar one of these days that reassures and makes people feel less overwhelmed and alone.
among my most valued subscriptions on YT.
thank you, sincerely.
I watch one of these everyday thank you for the knowledge. I’ll try my best to spread what i learn
The beautiful visualizations compliment the narration so well.
Thanks for all you do. Really appreciate it.
Thank you, Alain. You help so many people, everyday.
You have no idea how much these videos are helping me in this stage of my life
Thank you
What a godsend! Thank you for giving us this invaluable lesson!
Music. Music has rescued me from many grievances and hardships, no matter if it's Beethoven, John Lennon, Soda Stereo, Earth Wind & Fire or K-pop's Ladies' Code. Music is a SELFLESS friend's hand, ready to comfort you anytime. Many thanks for your videos, they make a big difference!!! 👏👏👏
Alain is an absolutely beautiful wonderful human being. His intelligence is nothing short of divine.
Honestly, perfect time. “This too shall pass”
I really needed this. Thank you.
School of Life you are a life savior. You explained things so beautifully. Helps me to understand myself a little better. Your videos and narratives are like meditation to me. Thank you so much.
Love your work, helps me have a better understanding of being an emotional, ,"cosmic error" amidst chaos of the world within and that which surrounds me. Simply beautiful thanks and regards.
the way these ideas are communicated makes one comprehend them so effortlessly, also this video was much much needed !!
Ikram Chafai 🎯
When I'm in no mood I go to bed......sleeping and music, of course, these are 2 things that help me a lot to overcome my fears, emotions, any difficulties, problems, etc.
Exactly what I needed to hear! Thank you so much for these videos
Words of wisdom! In my early days of using cannabis (which I no longer use for reasons that I won't get into here), one day I was relaxing at the beach (lying down and relaxing is when many interesting things happen in my mind when using mind-altering compounds), I noticed countless emotions pass through me each second. I could recognise ones like anger, happiness, jealousy, fright, etc. The interesting part was that I was *observing* myself feeling them. That experience showed me how emotions are, in fact, not concrete at all. I finally understood how "happiness is just a state of mind". In "real life", I'm more able to let go of emotions that are not helpful. Or, at the very least, I know that they too shall pass.
I don't know if my experience was a kind of "ego death", but it was definitely a form of metacognition.
The orange juice was such beautiful storytelling. I loved how it acts as a relief to the very intensely built up tension. Thank you for this video as well as the very appreciated artwork of editing and crafting
The point about haing the right friends is very important, its a thing I have recently realized. They can make all the difference in the world.
This is probably my favorite School of Life video. So helpful😢
Perfect timing 👌. Thank you 😊
The school we all need, at the right time... We need to remind us of ourselves as you often say~ Thank you Mr. Alain :)
Thank you what amazing timing, thank you so much!
Yesterday i feel just fine, having a nice quaility time, reading books, sleep well. But today i feel like a failure and dont deserve to live. Mood is such a troublesome thing.
Everyone has the experience of failure. You are part of the human race so I guess it's your turn. Do you deserve to live? Of course you do. Perhaps someone is being rather critical of you. That may be more their problem than your problem. They may be in a cranky mood and taking it out on you. I hope that tomorrow is a really lovely day for you.
@@tracesprite6078 :)
Watch a School of Life video ! Alain's voice always calms me down ❤
When down I think how lucky I am and to appreciate what I have, also lots of sport. I'm a different person before and after a swim or bike ride. Also walk around with a smile, the simple act of smiling increases feelings of contentment.
Important: at 2:20 - must include "and/or FAMILY" 🙄 I wish it wasn't true but sadly, and quite often, it is our family or extended family who can turn out to be the deadliest and "latently hostile" "well-wishers".
So true. The biggest challenge for me in managing my mood is having to use the time I need alone to console some family members that it isn't something they did wrong. It drains me and leaves me with a tumultuous mood under the mask I am compelled to wear to reassure and protect them.
@@BollywoodBonanzaB I wonder if you could create some other reason to be alone. e.g. you could go for a walk for exercise or do some gardening or cleaning but also use it as some alone-time. I brought my kids up to respect the idea of alone-time, - a time you need to recover from life or to think for a while or even to sulk or to do something creative.
I agree. Some families are very controlling. You may have your way of living your life but they insist on pushing you to do things their way. They may even be competitive or spiteful. It's very tiresome if you have a family like that. Try to find some friends who really like you and respect you for yourself and also try to find chances to be away from your family.
this too shall pass.. i keep it on my phone always..
Thanks! Needed this one today.
This video helped more than therapy! Saved my day! Saved my weekend!
That was very comforting and encouraging.
It's been recent since I started to fluctuate emotionally, earlier this year and years before I'd be in this neutral state, never really happy or sad. Since one person came into my life, I've been feeling things I haven't in a while, they've somehow clicked a button in my life to finally address my problems.
I see my emotions as these different "versions" of myself who show up out of nowhere as if to mock me and their representative mood seems to take over.
Despite not being "official" with that person. They've made me feel human again
Thanks I needed this one today💯😊
I love this so much you guys have made me such a better human
Depending on my mood, this video hit me good!
I definitely needed this one. Thanks School of Life xx
I LOVE this channel so much
This is one of my favourite videos of yours yet!
I think I needed this right now!
This video couldn't have come out at a more relevant time in my life.
Imagine being at school and watching this
Awesome video, btw
Ow you guys are such a balsam ❤ and so necessary ! Thank you 😘
I really needed to hear this 😩😩 thank you 🙏
This helped so much. Thank you!
Thank you for this helpful and cute video. Dealing with my moods is definitely a work in progress. I've been trying to remember practicing mindfulness.😊
One thing that helped while faced with self critical thoughts during a low mood is to remind myself that there's a difference between beliefs ("I'm the worst person ever") and feelings ("I feel afraid").
Emotions are waiting to be acknowledged. Once they're accepted , it becomes easier to move on
“Moods are proud, imperious things.”
I think I’ll frame this and hang it on the wall.
I needed this, thank you ☺️
This is, in my opinion, one of the best lessons out there thought by the life of school
Thanks needed this ♡