The True Cause of Obsessive Thinking
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 6 ก.พ. 2024
- We all are, at times, the victims of one of the cruellest and most remorseless of all mental afflictions: obsessive thinking. But why?
FURTHER READING
You can read more on this and other subjects here: 9qq0.short.gy/m0b8dK
“For some of us, today like every day, will mean another case of immersing ourselves, from the moment we wake up, in a by-now very familiar set of painful thoughts. We will dwell - once again - on how awful we look and more particularly, on how our nose is repulsively proportioned relative to the rest of our face. We will think - once again - of a website we inadvertently visited twelve years ago and how the police might be preparing to close in on, and arrest, us. We will think - once again - of how several of our neighbours (especially the people upstairs) might be colluding to ruin and disgrace us. Or we will think - once again - of something we said to a colleague which we fear they misconstrued and which may well lead them to seek disciplinary action against us at any moment…”
MORE SCHOOL OF LIFE
Watch more films on SELF in our playlist:
bit.ly/TSOLself
SOCIAL MEDIA
Feel free to follow us at the links below:
Facebook: / theschooloflifelondon
X: / theschooloflife
Instagram: / theschooloflifelondon
LinkedIn: / the-school-of-life-for...
CREDITS
Produced in collaboration with:
Natalia Biegaj
nb-animation.com/
Title animation produced in collaboration with
Graeme Probert
www.gpmotion.co.uk
This is why many people have to watch videos at night to “wind down”… they need to stop the obsessive thoughts, but can’t bear silence. So they fill it with noise.
🙌
We are thinking to avoid feeling. We are all guilty of this to varying degrees.
I wouldn't call it guilt. There are all defence mechanisms, sainly created in search of safety. I think this is what we aim to find, actually and obviously, the feeling of safety.
Yes indeed. Also, we often claim to be experiencing 'bad feelings', when NOTHING is currently hurting us EMOTIONALLY. We are merely MENTALLY ruminating on past pain, or pesimisticly imagining future pain.
When asked how one 'feels', the answer is often a stream of thoughts that have little to do with the present. Keeping our minds on our hearts, and our hearts on our minds, is not something we are taught, and not many set out to learn why, let alone how! One of my favourite thinkers, Alain du Buttón, presents a brilliant lecture on what he dubs 'emotional intelligence' on his TH-cam channel School of Life. It helped me heaps! After all, we ALL tend to think poorly when feeling deeply, and feel poorly when thinking deeply.
Funny how you said guilty! Why should we feel guilty?
But i feel very vulnerable when i expose myself how i react to stuff
yeah don't beat yourself up, it doesn't help
Obsessive thinking, shopping, drinking too much, eating too much, social media excess, all keep us from thinking.
The so called "coping mechanisms"
THINKING is itself a coping mechanism
Try BEING
.. attempting to fill the void (or lack) rather than moving through it - because the worry is - it's too huge but know that SELF will always be there - so you're never fully on your own.
Right? Can't we just die already? 😂
Great, now I can obsessively think about which suppressed memory is making me obsessively think :p
For real
good.
yes ma’am!
If you wish to. Or you can accept the event that occurred in the past and let it go. Takes time and one may temporarily disassociate but worth it any day. That too shall pass. From experience, difficult yet at times, innately peaceful.
flashbacks visit you - allow it/them - and understand there is an adult SELF to protect/heal the part that was/remains hurt
Hi my fellow overthinkers, I just wanna say that I love you, and I hope we all together overcome this. I hope we can truly and deeply see our value and make our brain understand that it wasn’t our fault when we were mistreated in the childhood.
Aw..😊
My friend the kind empathetic over thinker it’s been 4 months how are you ? Just out of courtesy “cause im an over thinker 😂.. What videos are you scrolling through this month… help me I’m looking at patterns in timing of particular topics and patterns scrolling..
you're right but it's not our brain understanding, it's us understanding ;)
I used to try to drown out my thoughts with repetitive phrases to distract myself. Now whenever I find myself doing this, I just sit down and write. Poof. No more obsessive thoughts, no more repetitive chanting. At least not on the offending topic I was previously evading. It’s getting better though. Step by step.
What do you write about?
@@sergioavalos6644just try journaling. writing down what you want or feel at the moment. expressing yourself
@@sergioavalos6644 well that's something you can't ask.. it's his own thoughts, he write whatever flooding his mind, it's not a question nor an affirmation, more like whatever inside our head, we wrote it down, we can challenge it by "is it true?" "does this thought based on objective(actual facts) or just a feeling" that's how you manage obsessive thinking or you could just wait until your brain reset itself(mental breakdown), fun facts and astonishing, wonderful, wholesome about thoughts and feeling is, they're there but you don't have to believe in them, you can call them a liar if you want
@@imperialSukandar ahhh, I see. Thanks for the reply
@@sergioavalos6644 I just write about my thoughts; whatever is bothering me. If I’m embarrassed about something, did or said something cringey, something made me feel insignificant or unloved, or if I feel something or someone made a fool out of me, I write it down. There isn’t always a resolution, but I’m more likely to come to one if I write it out. I’ve been told numerous times over the years to keep a daily journal, but I never have until recently, and it helps a lot (it’s not everything, I still need therapy and to eat and sleep well and reduce stress, reframe my thoughts, etc. but it’s proven to be significantly helpful, at least in my case). Hope this clarifies. ✨
Are ya'll watching me or something?
That sounds like a cool story...
I have given up, it feels like they always know what I need to hear exactly when I need to hear it. I just accepted it
Irony! I love it.
You know they are lol
😭
Half of my obsessive thoughts are already aimed at figuring myself out and understanding the world. Working hard to determine what's real and what's imagined. What's worthwhile and what's worthless. Occupied by the fear of wasting things - like time, money, food, and anything else.
The empty spaces are filled in with fears and regrets. Remaining energy reserved for making sure I keep it together when someone inevitably pissed me off.
are we the same person
@alextibet good to feel understood by another person. Hang tight. Stay strong.
I have never seen anyone else, let alone two people, express this same feeling that I’m being plagued with- but here we are
Did I type this?
Hard same
Obsessive thinking has been the bane of my retirement years. Too much time to think. However, I _have_ had a few useful epiphanys.
My obsessive thoughts are usually about not being able to retire at all! Between the two us there’s some peace somewhere. Wishing you the best.
Your body is searching. Give it time and it will find what it needs.
This made me cry. It literally depicts me -- I wake up in the morning and the first thing I think of are negative thoughts. What that person might think of me, how I despise parts of myself, etc. I never related it to my youth, because I imagined there'd hardly be a link, but as troubled a youth I had, it must be the source. Time to not run away and face the feelings from my youth.
Same
🫂
bathroom break!
I loved Alain's description (in another School of Life episode) of insomnia, as "the minds revenge for all the things we avoid thinking about during the day"! Obsessive thoughts always focus on resentments and regrets from the past, or fears and fantasies for the future. They are never "in the now".
Thank you for saying this!!😢
I’m good enough
Smart enough
And
Gosh darn
I’m worth it😂
You're thinking too much ❤
“Older truths about ourselves”… I like that. I like that very much.
I really love and appreciate the community of people these kinds of videos create in the comment section. All the replies from genuinely kind people trying to help. This makes me feel less alone
What a profound way of communicating the source of obsessive thinking. Acknowledging the underlying emotions feels like the first, and most difficult, step towards acceptance. For anyone who resonates deeply with this video, I recommend 'Letting Go: The Pathway of Surrender."
An excerpt:
"Letting go involves being aware of a feeling, letting it come up, staying with it,
and letting it run its course without wanting to make it different or do anything
about it. It means simply to let the feeling be there and to focus on letting out the
energy behind it. The first step is to allow yourself to have the feeling without
resisting it, venting it, fearing it, condemning it, or moralizing about it. It means
to drop judgment and to see that it is just a feeling. The technique is to be with
the feeling and surrender all efforts to modify it in any way. Let go of wanting to
resist the feeling. It is resistance that keeps the feeling going. When you give up
resisting or trying to modify the feeling, it will shift to the next feeling and be
accompanied by a lighter sensation. A feeling that is not resisted will disappear
as the energy behind it dissipates.
As you begin the process, you will notice that you have fear and guilt over
having feelings; there will be resistance to feelings in general. To let feelings
come up, it is easier to let go of the reaction to having the feelings in the first
place. A fear of fear itself is a prime example of this. Let go of the fear or guilt
that you have about the feeling first, and then get into the feeling itself.
When letting go, ignore all thoughts. Focus on the feeling itself, not on the
thoughts. Thoughts are endless and self-reinforcing, and they only breed more
thoughts. Thoughts are merely rationalizations of the mind to try and explain the
presence of the feeling. The real reason for the feeling is the accumulated
pressure behind the feeling that is forcing it to come up in the moment. The
thoughts or external events are only an excuse made up by the mind."
Thank you for sharing. It is very well written, in understandable language, it made a lot of clicks and connected a lot of gaps in my understanding.
@@Juanah92 Glad to know it helped! Whenever I feel a negative emotion, I'll try so hard to fight it, but surrendering and in essence, accepting an emotion up front has been very liberating : )
Me with my OCD watching this
I think you meant CDO 😉
@@therealunclevanya. CDO ?
@@MoskusMoskiferus1611 OCD but in the correct order ;)
and/or OCPD - a need for control in order to feel 'safe' / prevent something bad happening.. or reoccurring. If you think you have a 'driven personality' I highly recommend Gary Tosclair The Healthy Compulsive a useful book on a little known and easily dismissed set of behaviours and traits rewarded by society as success but miserable for the person not understanding this drive/need.
lol. I have OCD too. Incurable, I think, because my fears are actually dangerous. Not sure if that was a word.
I had to watch this twice because I was thinking
There's a difference between critical thinking vs. Rumination
Of course, they are COMPLETELY DIFFERENT. ruminating is a sign of chronic depression.
Critical thinking is a sign of intelligence.
@@George-ky4wf high intelligence is linked with depression. Ama.
I agree! I think that the more intelligent you are - the more you never work things out as life is vast. Agree - it’s totally different than ruminating
I used to think obsessively ... replaying conversation to trying to pin down details of the previous day, etc. These days these thoughts (thanks to medication) have been replaced by music ... songs ... and the lyrics of these songs have now become the stand-in for what previously was just noise in my head. This video makes perfect sense. These thoughts .... and now this music ... are the "busy work" of the brain when there's nothing really to think about.
or a distraction from bigger/more frightening questions - that will ultimately become absurd and you're released from.
What medication specifically? I am so tired of this
personally I'm on 15-20mg Brintellix (Vortioxetine); I'd say if you have pure-O OCD/intrusive thoughts (very unpleasant) as opposed to OCPD being 'obsessional' or 'driven' with unrelenting standards or find things difficult to let go - the only way out is exposure therapy - which sucks to do but it relatively quick 6-12 sessions (given some suffer for years) and totally worth it@@jacquelinesantiago7017. Still interested to know @lifecloud2 medication esp if tailored to obsessional thinking/perfectionism (OCPD or ADHD with perfectionism as a coping style); OCPD is comorbid in 15-28% of people with OCD.
Sorry for the delay in response here. Each person is different. What works for me, may not work for everyone. I've been taking Wellburtrin for the past couple of years (the generic is Buproprion). Recently I began taking a sliver ... a VERY VERY tiny amount ... of Delta 8 gummies that help me sleep. I've also been taking Melatonin (10 mg) for the past few years. @@jacquelinesantiago7017
I used to obsess about one thing then another one giving way to the next. It only stopped when I started using substances.
very helpful will try 👍
@@user-fv6do7mj7e no don’t do that bro.
To all the people who love me warts and all I am in the slow process of healing and thank you for helping me on my journey💜
There are two types of people (there aren’t, but it works for me here).. here are two types of people, those that accept what happened was bad and take the hurt and those that repeat the hurt on to others - loved ones, family and friends. Denial is a dangerous, hurtful thing. Acceptance means compassion and kindness to those you love and care for. ❤
your (younger) self should be the first in line for compassion and understanding, then you can be of best use to others.
When we are afraid of something, we don't fix our eyes on it. If you are talking to someone and you feel somehow overwhelmed or inferior, you tend to avoid eye contact more often. In horror movies, you rarely see a close-up from a zombie or a ghost or another evil creature. The scariest things are usually those happening in the periphery. The point is: When our thoughts are fixed on something, just like our eyes, the point of fixation is almost always the less important, less scary things in our minds. We need to shift the focus to the peripheral issue and turn the horror into comedy.
just meeting this 'exile' in IFS Therapy now and coming to realise the care-givers explosive hostility was not about my behaviour but their discomfort with my young joyful inhibition - something painfully lost to them
Actually agree. And yet, personally, couldn’t have this understanding if not for going through this process. It’s a catch 22, an Achilles heel, 20/20 vision, call it what you will. I embrace my process THIS process because it was all I could rely on at the time and now that I have stability, trust myself I can start to dismantle all of that and learn to trust others too. ❤
Obsessively wondering which artist's continuous line style was used in the animation. Kudos to the animator.
I love the way you depict this manifestation of anxiety. For me, it has been hugely useful. I’m always feeling better and better, the obsessive thoughts were just the tip of the iceberg. Underneath there were many rather reasonable thoughts of self-hate. The way you describe it is quite accurate.
I spend to much time thinking about all the negative things that have happened it makes me feel awful . So now I'm trying my best to count my blessings and this helps me appreciate my life and I feel more happy
Brilliant! You are exactly correct. I’m very prone to overthinking about the kind of irritants you describe, but I know all too well that what’s behind it is the harrowing bereavement I suffered and the abiding loneliness and loss of warmth and love which followed in its wake.
As someone who struggled with OCD for 15 years (not knowing that’s what it was for most of it). I partially agree with this. Obsessive thinking is a type of avoidance behaviour. But I disagree that you need to connect with your wounded inner child. In fact many people with OCD attempt that in painful vain often making things worse.
Acceptance and metacognition (beliefs about thoughts and emotions) are the way forward.
I do also recognize that obsessive thinking does not inherently mean OCD but I just wanted to share as I got a lot of bad OCD advice that often made things worse from otherwise reputable psychological sources
dr jeffrey schwartz and his book on the Four Step Program has been superior to any counselling I had in past for this issue
" Brain Lock"
@@juliaskagfjord6207 that book is good, but to be honest "at last a life" by Paul David was more helpful, as Paul was a sufferer himself.
I would agree that Jeffrey Schwatz' concepts and neuroscience that "you are not your brain" is probably the most single helpful concept there is when dealing with any neurological disorder. All of this is technically metacognitive therapy though.
This animation at 3:59 - feels like a deep, emotional journey, packed with meaning and story, all within a fleeting moment...
This was me this morning, after such a long time.
Thanks for addressing this, School of life
My obsessive thinking and for more than 3 years now has been revolving around religion and the existence of God even though I'm an atheist and I'm no longer religious but i think uncertainty and fears are behind my intrusive thoughts. The thing about obsessive thinking is that some days it feels you're in control of your thoughts but the next day you realize they're actually controlling you.
TH-cam algorithm works in mysterious ways
It is google ai listening through audio. Likely you had a convo about related topics
Feeds you the pill you thought you wanted
But did you need it?
@@highstax_xylophones i hope your not serious
I broke into tears and connected to the pain from the past as I watched this video. It feels so bad, but my thoughts were magically clear after the feelings passed. Thank you so much for making this helpful video.
I swear this channel always hits the nail on the head.
I recently learned that the shortcut in self-help is to look at the thing that you don’t want to look at. That’s how the most progress can be made. (Obviously, do so as safely as possible.) 🙂 You got this!
Thank you for this video I have never been able to explain ny mindset to others,words just wouldn't come out which then turned into frustration. So I definitly recommend this video to others that feel like me.
This came out at a perfect time... thank you..
Thanks. Please produce more similar content. It is much needed.❤❤❤
Amazed how this person exactly described me lmaoo. The only thing that stops the obsessive thoughts are either: high SSRI which i dont tolerate or ADHD drug. ADHD drug has helped me so much. Every time I take it the thoughts disappear and i am able to focus on what I need to. Hope this helps someone.
and yes i am an expert in under eye plastic surgery
I was in need of something like this. Thanks for taking this topic and explain it in a neat way❤️
Thinking is a coping mechanism. It helps us navigate the world. If we are barred from the thing which works for us ...we would panic, yeah no $hit.
Everyone is obsessed with something.
The worst is when your thinkings appear in your dreams ughh
This gave me a little bit of hope. Thank you.
Great video. I did a journal entry asking myself the question it posed and I think it helped me lay out my thoughts. I loved the visuals in this one.
hey, could you do a video on happiness vs. sustained excitement?
Thank you for this
One of, if not the best video on this topic.
I needed to hear this. Thank you.
Sadly it results from a time when we were persecuted, singled out and targeted for other people's gossip and harassment.
was ever present before, but definitely has gotten worse after
The other day I asked doctor google about this (racing thoughts and associated emotions) and a common answer that showed up was borderline p.d. (Another topic for me to obsess about, which again fuels emotions😍😅). One symtom's description interested me in particular: a preoccupation with oneself (narcissistic).. which I thought, obsessive thinking kind of intrinsically is, right? "I'm going to fail this test", "what if the other person doesn't like me back", "what if there is really something wrong with me" etc. are all focussed around ones self. I am so grateful for school of life to post these videos. It is a gentle reminder that humans are perfectly flawed yet lovable creatures, and that these odd habits of the mind are far more human than "individual person illnesses" per se. Thank you❤
😢and this can be all so exhausting and draining. Wish we could just turn our brains off.
The School of Life: "Why are you like this?.... Cause your childhood sucked."
This hit hard. Well done once again!
"....there is almost always an extremely frightened, isolated, unloved child who long ago could not bear to inhabit their own experience"
Bro please chill
agreed, a little over the top for sure
Doesn't tell you how to resolve or help this... only why you have this. Which I know why and understand why, and yes, as he says at the end, I was very much let down... and I've spent tears feeling very angry and depressed about that. Depression is repressed anger...
What can be done?
Not alot, tough luck , you have a hex placed on you.... Good luck.
It's like addiction, you trade a suffering (presumably) under control with sufferings too enormous or too deep to grasp.
totally nailed that one
Obsessively going over one idea is like being read the same story over and over again as a child. Whether or not the narrative is comforting, it is appealing because it's predictable. However, it reinforces a preconception and achieves very little depth.
I often thought this when people say they are overthinking - that what is really happening is under thinking. Sticking to the sound thoughts going round and round.
Here it is in 5 minutes why you're mental. Now go get that job! Youre a winner now!
😂 I got exactly the same feeling. No answers are given, good luck with that 😂
Excellent art and writing
One of the immediate values of cultivating even a very brief, daily concentration meditation practice is that one becomes adept at identifying thoughts as they arise, realizing that ''I am NOT my thoughts'', and then just letting them go! The anxiety of not paying attention to these previously imperious thoughts gives way to the ''payoff'' of feeling a sense of control and so much more energy to direct towards giving yourself the unconditional love that you (we all!) deserve. I hope this helps some of you as much as it has helped me.
Heart wrenching
Most people want to understand themselves, so we think. Since we have such a horrible example of how we should spend our time, we regress into thoughts that take us away from a society of total destruction.
Since 4 years of age I liked to imagine scenarios of being attacked and wronged and then I would avenge myself. After conflicts with certain people including my father, it became more irresistible. Or when hearing of an outrageous situation, I would put myself in their shoes and ruminate. Why??
yall literally defined me
Just my personal anecdote:
Tried meditation,therapy, cbt, positive mantras and 100 other things.
Only thing that worked was cutting out all processed foods(replaced with meat & eggs) and taking vitamin D supplemtns now i can turn off the endless thoughts at will.
It's about believing that I am bad.
I have to say this type of thinking is often the way i survive during extremely traumatic periods. I’ve found I do that so that I don’t have a complete nervous breakdown. It fades over time once I’m better able to cope with what’s going on in my life. I know my friends think I am insane when I’m in one of my obsessions, especially when the subject is out of left field, so I don’t tell most people. It has been a coping g strategy, and it’s also quite fun too.
Yes I went to therapy for ocd. Had a breakdown. It was horrendous. But I got better and started singing lessons and now write music and run a beauty therapy business. Yes everything I felt as a child. It was very stressful and invalidating. But it wasn't safe to feel it then.
Thank you
my self treatment has involved was identifying stress as a trigger and removing as many problems ( people, events, workplaces, ) from my life as possible . I also took magic mushrooms, biggest thing is i accepted that i actually wanted to retain most of my food cleanliness obsessions, though i have found ways to streamline them so they are less of a hassle.
What if the obsessive thoughts aren’t necessarily bad? Like plans to change your financial instability, or plans to make a difference in your community.
"What distinguishes obsessive thoughts from determination towards a goal is the ability to control thoughts and the emotional quality of them. Obsessive thoughts are intrusive, recurring and distressing, while thinking about a goal can be motivating and emotionally positive.
Obsessive thoughts are characterized by their persistence and difficulty to control them, as they are often related to irrational fears or impulses. These thoughts can be a source of great distress and can affect daily life.
On the other hand, having a goal or thinking about it can be a source of motivation and purpose."
Thank you❤
Now I'll keep thinking about this video.
Hmm I'm thinking I don't think I have obsessive thinking, I think...
But what if someone IS out to push you out of your job with lies, deceit, mobbing,,etc. - just like she has done with others before? Even if your position is secure - how do you stop constantly THINKING about the situation, if you can't solve it? Hypnosis? Concentrating on other subjects only works temporarily.🤔
I love this channel so much
that was quick
yup
This cost me the one person I thought I and they would love each other forever...
you and 'they'- how many?
@@d1427 I said it as a way to not specify the person, but it was only one person :)
@@DS-qg9cd ah, the confusing wokeness of the English language... How would the person be specified if you said 'he' or 'she', or even 'it'- DS-...qgsc^&*#? Do you imagine someone would make a connection with this very specific name you chose for yourself? lol
@@d1427 you're right lol
2 Key features:
0:53 ..two key features in common: they are about something
1:00 appalling we feel we are or have done. Or they are about something appalling we fear that others are
1:06 about to do to us. ..
This is a highly subjective view. Could be spot on for the odd person. Everyone else - beware. Obsessive thinking usually stems from fear of making mistakes or handling a situation badly rather than from childhood trauma or neglect.
OMG that is definitely not what I obsess about!!! WTF! 😂
I'm struggling with obsessive thinking in the moment, and for the past years... If I don't distract myself, I'm totally absorbed by thoughts. I've tried mindfulness, meditation.. if I'm not actively doing those, and let go I am obsorbed again. I just want to let go feel safe... But I can't feel safe, emotionally safe, the feelings of sadness, guilt, shame, anger, and loneliness is there waiting for me.
Obsessive thinking is an oxymoron. The state of "obsessing" can only exist when someone is not thinking but is instead reacting unconsciously to an external stimuli that has been internalized and mistaken for being an actual reality within the individual rather than an imposed reality that has been misinterpreted.
From my personal experience, it's true... "We are thinking in order not to think".
40 seconds past the video I started to do this this over thinking and now the video is ending.
Not always about all them things that put you down in the cycles. energy of TW's can put the mind in that type of cycle.
Whenever I talk to someone. After the conversation ended . And the way back home or meeting him another time . I always trying to think what did I miss to say or am I more articulate and Informative protecting my self image of being intellectual . Not lagging behind the others.
maybe there are several paths to get out of the obsesive thinking, wish you luck with the one you find to work for you
I wonder if we obsessive thinkers are just afraid of forgetting who we were and what we've done. After all, if we're not the sum total of our thoughts and actions, who are we, then? We must find the courage to be tabula rasa and redraw our lives and minds as we see fit.
This video is so true that I obsessively watch this video
Great vid, I’ve been obsessing about it all morning 😂
same😂😝🤣
This is a rehashing of their (now deleted) video saying OCD was caused by a trauma .. rightly criticized then for ignoring some very well established things in the therapeutic space, and disappointing now, again.
I get obsessive thoughts when it comes to romance. I noticed the more i suppress my feeling of crush the more its get irresistible. So to overcome this i started telling my crushes that i have crush on them. After confessing my feel and them being not bothering about it has helped me to get over them quickly.
Thank you🙏
So self hatred can also come from taking away accountability from our parents in order to be able to continue to love them?
Wonderful art!
an applause for the animator.👏
thank you for this..❤