When Negative Thoughts Won't STOP|Michele Lee Nieves
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 2 เม.ย. 2020
- #lifecoach #relationships #micheleleenieves #codependency
www.micheleleenieves.com
Sometimes there are no toxic people in our lives - yet the thoughts in our own minds are what is keeping us procrastinating, holding us back or bringing us down!! Yes - sometimes we can be our own worst enemy.
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Are you on your own healing journey and would like one on one assistance regarding topics like:
HOW TO TRUST YOUR GUT
ENFORCE BOUNDARIES
HOW TO RAISE YOUR SELF ESTEEM
OVERCOME SOCIAL ANXIETY
RAISE YOUR VIBRATION
LEARN SELF CARE
LIVE AS YOUR AUTHENTIC SELF
HOW TO STOP RUMINATING
LIVE MINDFULLY PRESENT
HEAL CHILDHOOD TRAUMA
OVERCOME EMOTIONAL ABUSE
HOW TO HAVE HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS W/ SELF AND OTHERS HOW TO DEAL WITH TOXIC PEOPLE
HEAL NARCISSISTIC ABUSE SYNDROME
OVERCOME CODEPENDENCY
OVERCOME SELF LOVE DEFICIT
If you would like personal assistance with any of the above topics - please check out my website for face to face coaching: www.micheleleenieves.com/services
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I like the quote "You don't have to believe everything you think."
I completely agree!!
🙏
That’s one of the best I’ve ever heard.
So grateful.. Thanks for everything. 💕Love from Egypt
Someone much wiser than me once said, _"Change your thoughts, change your life."_ Our thoughts are uniquely our own to keep, change, share or contemplate. It's absolutely critical that we take charge of our thought powers, scrutinize and *banish* all self-defeating thoughts and attitudes from our lives beginning right now, in the present moment.
Very well said 😊🤗
I’m listening to my favorite jazz music, crocheting, watching pleasant British romantic comedies, baking my favorite muffins, spending more time with my pet felines and classical music is always in the background, checking on close friends and neighbors, sharing food and ginger tea with neighbors in need. Enjoying each day as I never have before.
I’m going to print out your comment and put it on my fridge. I am going to read it everyday until I too can write my version, and place it besides yours and finally be able to “Enjoy each day as I never have before.” Thank You so very much!
Powerful reminder in time of need... The Bible is a vital source of positive strength for me as well as music. Thank you 🙂
The mind is our greatest enemy, or our best friend- depending on whether we use it, or it uses us. I have been so resistant to ever keeping a journal. But today I gave in. I started to write- and I experienced me... using my mind. Not the other way around...
Here is what I wrote: Practice.
I find so often in my life that I am able to get things done. I finally accomplish what I set out to do. But I most often beat myself up if I am not immediately successful. As if I must be judged on the first try only. That is where my worth comes from.
Reflecting on this I was finally able to see just how unreasonable judgement can be.
We are to aspire to a spiritual practice, not a spiritual success.
The best of batters don’t go up to the plate and hit home runs. They approach the plate and take as many practice swings as they can. The home run is never the first swing. It may be the 10th. And the home run is total success every time. No complaints about the swinging away.
So today, remembering that the leaky faucet no longer drips, the basement is clean and organized, the dust has been all vacuumed and dust mopped away- I will tip my cap.
Hayley Williams recently released a song called Over Yet. It's really soothing and uplifting during this time of this pandemic. I feel like the song suggests us positive reaffirmations to cope with this pandemic, but maybe also with ourselves. I don't know about everyone else but the reason I survived so much abuse, emotionally and physically is because my subconscious thoughts persisted and helped me out. 'If there’s resistance, It makes you stronger, Make it your friend.' That song really dropped at the right time for me.. And I suggest that other people give it a try if they want to feed their mind something positive :)
Thank you so much for sharing!! I’m going to listen to it tonight 😊🤗
I hope you like it and I'm sorry if it seems like I gave it too much praise. What I say about the song is based on my opinion. Also I don't listen to it when my negative emotions are too overwhelming... Oh geez I feel so clumsy, I'm sorry. I think so much and it's so easy to type but I forget how terrible I actually am at communicating well.
While In my 7 year marriage to a narcissist, he would tell me I'm thinking to much. I'm fine until he projected his toxic behavior towards me. I was fine one minute, calling out his true bullshit, the next he would tell me I needed to relax, I was allowing my mind to wander. All the while I was right, as he guilt tripped me for my normal reactions or state of mind. Complaints were never legitimate. All my reactions were never his fault, never took accountability. I was suppose to take abuse while his sister kept telling me to relax, take a hot bath, stop thinking to much. He abused, then acted like the therapist helping me. I came to terms I would never get to a healthy place while with him. I simply left, no words, no trying to understand. I soon realized their all in need of help I could not offer. I never trusted that fool again. To get to a healthy place, I left that toxic bubble of denial. We are only safe when finding the value in ourselves. I rarely complain about anything. I knew it wasn't to much at the time. Today, I'm engaged after meeting someone 2 years later. Today when I communicate my concerns, I'm met with proper communication and mutual resolutions.
Yes I can say the same thing about myself as well!! I have to keep myself busy or I start thinking to hard about things or overthinking!
Thank you for all your helpful insights.
6 weeks 2 days with no contact. Wow what a difference but the thoughts do creep in and the things he said to me. And all the abuse but I remind myself everyday I made it through 22 years with the narc. I am strong. Thank you Michelle. If I can't remind myself you remind me. Love you and your heart
I live alone. Great reminder!
"The letters of Emily Dickinson-"Very beautiful and relaxing
I have felt that way. THC and CBD have been shown to help with PTSD. They have helped me tremendously in this situation.
Yes I believe we all have to come to a point to where we must work on what you talked about in this video Michele.
Michelle. You are the real deal, God bless you for you are precious in His sight. Love from England 🙏🌈
*Michele sorry (spelling) 😊
I get a little distracted when people teaching self help are so darn pretty. You do good work Michelle
You really helped me a lot, when I see no hope your videos give me strength a reason to fight and live on! Thank you thankyou soo much! God bless you! ♥️
I’m so glad that my videos are helpful for you 😊🤗 Stay safe 😘👋
Michelle! Brilliant video! Thank you for tackling a subject that is very personal to survivors and acknowledging the connection between anxiety, focus and negative internalization...something that we often blame ourselves for...
💓🧚♀️
I'm watching these videos. I'm reading untethered soul by Michele singer.
Thank you. I really needed this today. I woke up dreading today because my husband had the day off and it is the being of the month. He usually tries to get very controlling over stupid stuff which means he blows up at me and the next day nothing is mentioned but my anxiety is so bad. Now I have some tools to help me.
I always think too much when I'm in the shower. I usually come out of the shower either angry or sad!
Absolutely 👍 our beliefs are wrong.
Scientists say that if we ever saw a clone of ourselves we wouldn't recognise them!
I believe it! 😂
Michele due to the stress that so many people are under now I think it is a good time for you to record a new mindful medatation.Of all the ones I have heard I prefer yours because you
Write to the heart of the issue, addressing the consequences
Of narssitic abuse. To many miss the mark with extraneous stuff.
Looking forward to listening to it.
Thank you so much for the suggestion! Do you mean a guided visualization?
@@FromSurvivingToThriving
Yes, in fact that is what sets
You apart from so many others
In your work to help us.
Looking forward to listening to
Next your " work of meditation art".
This period of isolation is truly killing me
But thank God for the online therapy app I have. Now with covid and I've lost my job it feels like shit. Thank you for this video
. Just what I needed
Who am I watching? I'm watching you, Michelle! 🙂 You are positive & helping with my growth, reminding me of best practice & so much more! Thank you! ❤ Theresa
Thoughts are only ruining my positive approach to life your video helping a lot
Certainly interesting, this new isolation. I love people. Can't help people, that is the worst. Periodically, I feel I would rather help and die, then to not help and live. It helps to be productive at home, but I keep going that place, and this is going to go on for months.
Excellent description of how their thoughts become my thoughts of nyself
Activity pushes away bad thoughts.
I feel that way all the time michelle all the freaking time
Thank you Michele!! Very educational and helpful.
Michele: Think good thoughts.
2020: You ain’t seen nothin’ yet.
Michelle, you are a gifted communicator and teacher. I am so thankful I found your channel. ❤️
OUTSTANDING
EXCELLENT
Thank you!
After doing must daily work . I watch different tourist destinations.. learn latest in art n exhibition. Always learn something new.
The world is full of Narcs ignore them n keep busy ... get lost in new knowledge. It works for me. Sweet Michelle your coaching n vedios contributed a lot in my life to be a normal person as I use to be. It's never too late to smile again n do something new.
Thank you. ☺
Thank you.
Thank you 🙏
Excellent topic especially right now. I hope you and all your loved ones stay safe and healthy through these difficult times.
Thank you 🙏 😊 you too!!!!
So true I have had so bad negative thoughts all my life as I internalised what my parents said n did to me
Michele is right where God put her .. She is saving lives. She should be working with the VA. Some vets have seen and done things that can't reconciled with your soul .. She took a gun out of my mouth.. That's very embarrassing to admit But I feel it's important for people to know, there are answers here...
I’m so glad I can help - I didn’t know that Bill... about the gun. I’m so glad you didn’t use it!! Toxic people have a way of making a person feel that they have no value, no worth at all - but they are so wrong!!! Please stay safe - Sending peace and good vibes your way 😊🤗😘
@@FromSurvivingToThriving Do You know how long I've been walking around in circles looking for a trail Guide out of here? .. .. I would just like to tell you ..Your Late! lol.. Thanks for the kick in the ass back into reality..
thank you
this video is amazing. thank u michele
😊😘🤗
Well said
Youre my brave 💖 these days, thank you for soothing this bad past xoxo
You described me in the First statements
I am reading Dr Caroline Leaf's books on Kindle.
I haven’t read that one - thank you for sharing!!
@@FromSurvivingToThriving Hi Michele! I'm sure you have been busy. I just wanted to let you know I sent this reply to your discussion response you replied to me a day or so ago about my Life Coach course questions. I'm eager for your answers. If you have the time please reply to this: "Wow thanks for your answers! And thanks for opening up a door for victims and people who felt they didn't have a voice or a life purpose or fitting career path. So are you saying the Virtual Video Course certification cannot be used for further education whereas the live course certification can be used for further education? Are both courses basically given the same certificate when completed? Both from the Teachable platform? The only difference is you mail a hard copy? Couldn't I just print the virtual course certificate from the teachables platform? It would be better for me to get the virtual course because of my finances and the ability to be able to view the course materials anytime and go at my own pace. I just want to make sure that by completing the virtual course it makes me official life coach. Are you talking about the from surviving to thriving book by Pete Walker? I am a victim of narcissistic abuse (not familiar with the Cptsd stuff. Maybe I have cptsd as well and don't know it.), I've been a victim of parentafication from one parent and infantilzation from another. And I feel the obligation to tell my story and get the awareness out there and help others. I'm also probably still trying to recover and learn self love and self care, I hope its okay for me to still do the course even if I'm not completely recovered yet. I also contemplate and get concerned about if I started life coaching and talking about how my parents are and how they treated me, that it could make them very upset and view me worse (I'm sure these concerns are probably still signs that I haven't fully recovered to own my life and not care about what anyone thinks about me and to not be financially codependent or codependent in any way anymore). I feel I must take the step though to do life coaching. I appreciate your responses and your growth because I remember when you didn't have many subscribers or fancy edited videos, so it makes me think maybe a little guy like me could do it and become rich like you too :). (Just messing with you/ just kidding, I know I know its not all about the money. But it does look like life coaching and TH-cam has become lucrative for you, I don't know though, maybe it hasn't.)"
YES
You choose what you listen to.
My life is insane right now.. After over 7 years of isolation and I mean see someone maybe 1 person in a few months type isolation.. Someone in prison had more human interaction than me.. I'm starting go out more ... I reached out to my life time best friend.. We talked for sometime .. then the next day he showed up at my door with a new fishing pole and tackle.. And dragged me out of my hole .. then took me to his home to meet his wife and have dinner. Next thing I know 20 people from that same period of my life showed up. People I grew into an adult with.. they wanted to see me ..I dropped off their radar due to work.. they reminded me who I was... How much they respected and liked me.. want to do things like the old days .. Contrasting these friends to to the people I had in my life from 30 on is shocking ... I had a strange experience.. I was talking with friend and I had so many thoughts running through my brain ..Mid conversation I would forget what we were talking about ... I have a long way to go
perfect
Michelle, I hope your not projecting this on us because your feeling this way. I know you have been thru a lot. I have been watching your videos for quite some time. If you are abusing yourself like this, please don’t. Your a very beautiful woman, inside and out. If it for us, thank you. I like to attack myself every now and then. Hard habit to break. Damn those narcissists!!! Keep up the good work! I love you!(Agape) Stay safe! Stay healthy! Stay happy!
Why did u say agape?
Toronto There are different kinds of love. Google search it.🙂
Did I see a pair of wings in the background just now ?
Isn't it awsome to be a free thinker for yourself
Ive been reading serpent and the rainbow
Such a pretty color on you!
They are everywhere...😔
God you are BEAUTIFUL
Being stuck at home with a narc at this time is very trying please send each other support
Self-Compassion by kristin Neff
Hi Michelle, what advice do you have for those going through a breakup during isolation? How to stay no contact?
Sure. Flight trauma responder. Working harder isn't the answer to every problem. Sucks sitting around waiting for a different one lots of times.
Hello Michele,
Love your page and have a question. I am currently with a Narcissist whom I have Twin Boys with (which are 4 years old). Andddd another Baby on the way (she is now 6 months pregnant). Roughly 2 weeks ago I found out that she was telling everyone in her circle that I asked her to have an abortion (which was absolutely not true!). When I confronted her about it she lashed out and decided to leave with the children and is giving me the silent treatment. I have taken the stance to go no contact with her unless, it is about the children. I am not sure if she will return; but the caveat to this is that she has left ALLL of her clothes here in my home and still has keys to my house. Recently, she has began Love bombing me and trying to get me to speak with her .... however she will not allow me to see the children ... please, help what is happening? Is this just a fake discard? orrrrr just a game to get me to learn my lesson? In order to help you answer this question, bare in mind that I do very well for myself, have a comfortable condo in a central part of the city, 2 cars (one of which is a Mercedes) and lastly I cover all her expenses in regards to health care. We jointly, own a home in Europe. My Narcissist is also well off in her own right (she owns her own home, has her own car and is financially independent (although she DOES NOT! like spending her money)). I am worried about the negative influence her and her family will have on the children. Help me to understand why she just won’t leave (as I can clearly see she cannot stand me)? And why she refuses to accept my negotiations to separate (in a civilized manner) and co-parent?
Lol I would work 36 hrs straight doing hardcore physical labor. Come home sleep a few hours and get up and work some more.
I'm still F...d up tho dont know if I'll ever be right. I'm ready to try some therapy tho any suggestions?
Michele...do you work one on one with people?
Mam right now im stuck trama bond
I am interested in the "Video Coaching" you are advertising for $60. Is this actually one-on-one with you? Can you explain more about it?
What do you do when challenging those negative thoughts brings on an emotional flashback (debilitating depression) What do you do when avoiding potential disappointments keeps you from sinking to a new emotional low?
Excellent questions - when we are faced with emotional flashbacks - which keep us stuck in old subconscious programming we must learn how to work through those flashbacks in order to move forward. An excellent resource is the book Complex PTSD From Surviving to Theiving by Pete Walker - chapter 8 goes in depth as to what emotional flashbacks are, what we feel inside as well as how to overcome them - I highly recommend it 😊🤗
@@FromSurvivingToThriving Thank you Michele for the resource. I will check it out :)
Thanks 🙏 stay safe me sensual goddess 😍🔥
Umm... do you have any scientific evidence about that ‘amygdala-shrinking’ idea?? 🤔
I'm scared of my inner critic, is that common? He seems like a scary bully.
Honey your a lil crazy. You need to just let go of everything. Forget affirmations , that’ll just delay the inevitable. Let go. Face your demons, understand the why, embrace and let go of the anger, denial, fear & accept it as part of you, that it (all you’ve been through) have made you who you are now, stronger & better.