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Stuck In Emotional Flashbacks|Michele Lee Nieves Part One
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 14 เม.ย. 2020
- #lifecoach #relationships #micheleleenieves #codependency
Emotional Flashbacks are one of the hardest parts of emotional recovery after toxic relationships are over - they are a key component of complex PTSD which often results from narcissistic abuse, long-term emotional and/or psychological abuse in toxic relationships whether they are parent-child relationships or long-term significant other relationships.
For more assistance on healing from emotional trauma, please visit my website: www.micheleleenieves.com
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Overcoming emotional flashbacks is one of the most difficult steps in recovering from toxic relationships, emotional abuse and/or narcissistic abuse. In my face to face coaching I often meet people that have been free of toxic relationships for years yet are still battling becoming free of emotional flashbacks. I truly hope this video combined with my next video (going up Friday) can help those that are still battling this. And for anyone that would like more help - be sure to check out my new 3 month virtual workshop - micheleleenieves.com/group-coaching-and-support/ where you can work together with me and a small group of people that truly ‘get it’ 😊👋
Pls can you make a specific type video if possible on studies I have a narcissist mom she targets my education n makes me feel worthless n after my father left us I failed n my mom never helped me , now m doing well but I have anxiety issues when ever it comes to studying it's like I get very panicy n my mum plays on that everyday like Everytime n my teacher helped me out at that time in studies can you please make a video on it. Because of this behave of mine I feel I am incapable of doing things but also m good at a lot of things but not studying.
Omg thank you soo much, Michele..This is THE most difficult part of the journey and I don't know how to deal with it when it sneaks on me.. The emotions I feel the most during these flashbacks are anger and/or deep sadness..How long does this period of emotional flashbacks take in general?
I love your videos so much they help me so much with my boyfriend. I dont think we've ever had so much understanding in our relationship until i realized why he acts that way. Me not reacting the way i use to helped us fight less. I forgive him in a way i never did. Thank you
This workshop sounds great, your site doesn't say when the virtual sessions would be each week though - can you tell us please? Really great video, thanks
I do struggle with emotional flashbacks. I also believe that they impact my marriage, my work relationships, and all facets of my life. Thank you for your help/education here Michele. ☀️
All I remember about trauma from my childhood, was I was not allowed to be angry and what I had to say wasn’t important. It continued in my marriage to a Narc. I’m now allowing myself to be angry. But when someone gets angry at me I fawn. I have a difficult time speaking and communicating my feelings, but I’m getting better.
I read about fight, flight and fawning behaviours.
But realistically, did you do anything to deserve someone being angry at you? I worked with someone who was in a near constant state of anger for next to no reason because it made her the one in control of everyone. Whenever I was near her I would repeat to myself, “Anger is a form of control. Anger is a form of control.”
I'm the exact same way but I also "flight"... In crowds, even church, I have tendency to sit in the back next to the exits just in case I need to make a hasty exit.
@@ravenel2 ... Very difficult situation... Yes, I grew up with that type of person being my mother. I am now an adult yet still feeling perplex, sometimes so very numb and disconnected. Hard to get a hold of what exactly is going through my mind that generates so much pain in my body even Shortness of breath. You need to take yourself away from that person s presence. They destroy our being.
I have so much admiration for people that have had traumas in their life and keep fighting to have a good life even when emotional flashbacks happen and it is confusing sometimes and they do their best keeping their life together.
You understand... I'm speechless .
What Bill said!
Agreee!!!!!!
I knew that I was having moments when I felt like I was about seven years old, moments when I knew the fit was about to hit the shan, and moments when my emotions were out of proportion to the circumstances, but only after viewing this video do I now understand that these are emotional flashbacks. Thank you for this video!
Thank you. My eyes are watering. I've been obsessively watching your content for a while now and the impact it has had on my relationship to myself is incredible. For a loooong time I avoided all of the videos that dealt with how to heal, I almost compulsively watched videos of narcissim. After a while I started noting how I couldnt bear learning about my own part, how to move forward etc.
And I reflexively wanted to be upset with myself over it. "Don't I want to overcome the trauma?!". But I told myself "it's ok. You're not ready yet". To have validated this and given myself space to digest and prepare instead of throwing myself into it because I "should" was one of the first genuinely kind things I've done to myself in a long time. I feel ready. I'm excited to learn more.
Ah... just what the doctor ordered to de stress me today - Michele’s beautiful angelic voice 👍
The emotional flashbacks that I get of the way my family treated me when my Mother was dying-I don't think I will ever fully get over that....
I'm so sorry! This is so bad💔😰😭
@@reettaelina Thank you Reeta
@@barryosullivan3428 ♥️
.. Whatever you went through as a child... It was not your fault! A child is an infant. The adult is the person who should have been responsible for caring for that new life. Yet most of families are highly dysfunctional. We all live in such a broken system - which explains the narcissistic and irresponsible parents...
Do you know a PJ O Sullivan by chance?
Emotional Shell Shock...triggers a looming judgement upon ourselves...the fifth f in reacting, fight, flight, freeze or fawn is faith...I believe it does not have to be this way, enough! the choice of truth and the truth of choice sets you free
It all made sense to me when I saw this video. I am still watching this video, it the 5th time. I was raised by a narcissist father and I was the 'escape goat'...I am now 29 and it's been 10 years since I left my home. I still feel that 'shame', 'sense of being a disappointment', 'abandonment', same flashbacks. I can literally recognize what I can do to handle a situation logically but that logical brain just vanishes and emotional reactions take control over me. Now that I know what specific triggers do this to me, I still feel that it is almost impossible to be assertive.
One of the clearest and well put together videos I've seen hear. Not too fast or slow of relaying speed, but highly informative and useful for healing and growth.
I don’t think I’ve ever felt so understood in my entire life. Thank you!
Thank you♥️, I just found out why I cannot sew anymore... because of I have so big emotional trigger there😭
You are a 💎! They are hard to find!you put a smile on my face!
Asking for prayers to break FREE from this..🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏💯
Exactly Michele I used to think I was crazy but it's not that it's the environment I grew up in .
Exactly Mike, it is our environment
Great information in this video. I did have excessive anger for a while, but it seems to be better the longer I am out of the narcissist relationship, as I have not seen my narc ex-wife for over 3 years now. Thanks for all you do for all of us narcissist abuse survivors that are working towards thriving Michele 🙂
It’s a messed up situation. Trauma started at 7, and at 7, I could not process it. I just thought it was just something bad and I tucked it away, and sucked it up. About 10 years ago, something inside broke when my mom passed. My biggest fan and the only person to help hold all of the pieces together. At 56, it still has me locked up more than ever, because as an adult, I now understand how horrible it all was and I wonder often, why did I deserve it. I stay locked up and can no longer make even the simplest of decisions. Best video I’ve seen in a while. Wish I could just start over somewhere else, but I also know there is nowhere to run to. This was very insightful and legitimizes my feelings. Still not sure how to fix it or if it can be. I will either learn to live with it or I won’t.
this made me tear up ,cause i have bad nightmares ,and often gets in fight or flight 😔
I want to thank you, Michele. I am trying to thrive again, although it is hard but I am trying. The way you explain things, watching you speak and listening to you, gives me strength! God bless you.
Keep watching these videos of Michelle, Risa Romano, Dr. Ramani and all the rest and am sure with time you will start growing stronger....Six months ago before my 30th birthday I started learning all of these, 29 years of confusion and pain right now am not scared of all my abusers starting with my malignant narcissistic dad!!! I am slowly learning to stop be a codependant and no longer walking on eggshells. But most of all I now love myself like crazy and believe in me! I have accepted myself after a life long of rejection and me trying hard to be accepted. Am no longer chasing acceptance, I have accepted who I am and who I am is so very much enough. I wish you well, give it time, some days are way too painful but others are less and others not, recognize all, cherish all, feel all they're all making the new you. It's like being born new. The universe had my back.
@@mweusimrembo890 My best wishes for you! Thank you.
Awesome. I know I have a little Michele shoulder angel and you must have come with me to my last 3 NET sessions! Even though I’ve done a ton of healing, after my narc’s tantrum 2 weeks ago, my body went into migraines, hobbling around with a bad lower back, etc. The flashback he triggered was the one I’ve done the most work on in therapy so I knew what was going on yet my body still went there. It didn’t actually trigger the physical response mid back that it usually does because we’ve worked on that. The emotions that came up for me were vulnerability and despair that I was that 7yo being told off by my Mum because narc sister picked a fight and I got blamed and Mum didn’t want to hear my side. From that moment I knew that I could never live the life I wanted to because someone was always going to tell me off for anything. That has remained and has had a major impact on me on all levels. I’m looking at the duality of healing and the flashbacks as a progress marker and that what I’ve learnt and healed has come a long way but I’m not beating myself up about still being triggered. What did I say to myself on the way home from NET yesterday? I wonder if Michele is going to do more on still being triggered but you’ve done a lot of healing! Stay safe everyone.
Wow, this was dead on for me! Thank you, it really helps and reminds me to not be so hard on myself going through this process and helps me see I am definitely not alone in feeling how I do while all this comes to light and I work to heal the trauma. 💜🙏
I wish there were more people like u !so hard when u releazed that I made so many bad choices now as u get older I start to put puzzles together and no it was my fault I had child mind for a long time,everything u said is so true,I am in healing process!Thank you again!if I can touch a Angel it would be you!
I'm 45 years old and I been abused almost my whole entire life. I had to cut out a lot of unhealthy toxic relationships out of my life for good. I have complex-ptsd, major depression, anxiety and ocd. I am broken into a million of pieces. I've been through every kind of abuse you can think of. I have nightmares and flashbacks a lot. I have to take medications every day and every night. The medications do help somewhat but it doesn't cure you. I have a mental health caseworker, counselor and team peer. I know myself better than anyone else. I struggle daily and I have a long road ahead of me. I also have an emotional support dog which is a part of my thepary and helps a lot. Some days are better than others but I'm trying my hardest to stay positive and inspired.
such a great channel michelle....eternally grateful!!!
Michelle,, I’ve been looking for thIs material for my entire life! (69 years). I just found it today. Thank You & Blessings 🙏
YES This really hits home for me. Thank you !!!
O my. Thank you for adressing this. It helps grapping the echo's.
Due to certain childhood circumstances and events, I get these whenever I feel attraction to someone.
What you said about the parents making it seem like you’re the bad guy made me tear up. Growing up I NEVER felt any love from my parents. They would tell me every now and then but I never FELT it. More often than not they always made me feel like *I* was the problem, like it was *MY* fault for making them angry. 🥺😣
That's me. Years no contact still suffering 😢
for me some of the worst was reliving the pain from adulthood and teenage years where I wanted to be accepted but was denied of love that I had been seeking from childhood.. and not knowing why I was constantly being rejected from men who always seemed to be emotionally unavailable to me.
Wow… I’ve been experiencing these for years and this is the first time I’ve heard of this. Through other diagnosis I’ve found ways to begin healing these symptoms but they seemed to only get me close. I play golf and have become pretty good. I start great and will have a good round going. Then all of a sudden something triggers me and I cannot function. I’ve explained this to many people but nobody had an answer. Even some therapist. They thought I was being too hard on myself in the moment. But I was actually taken over by this fear. It’s gotten to the point that I love this way. My entire body will tighten and all of my joints will become stiff. I cannot process thought. I suspect it has something to do with sexual abuse as a child. From an assertive male. I get triggered when another guy gets assertive. I’ve always played it off but could barely function. 🤯
I hope these videos can help. I’ve already been practicing EFT and Ho’opnopono.
It’s a relief to learn this , explains what was driving me crazy and desperate
Good timing! I am just dealing with these things. Many thanks!
The last piece of the puzzle in one video
thank you✨✨
Wow.!! Powerful
Had to hear this twice!
Thank you
The narc said I felt sorry for myself thats why I couldnt move on (after he triggered me ) about my cptsd. He kept saying I was "only getting triggered" to what he was saying, I kept trying to hold it in and not react until I started noticing it was bullying not "me just being triggered" and said even I wasnt warrented to feel that when I explained calmly how something he did made me feel. He even used this at the disguard shock mask drop disguard, that I was over reacting to everything and that "its only a breakup"...
Thank you so much for explaining this Michelle. Looking forward to part 2.
I love politics and being involved in politics and seeing accomplishments on the news. I have run for schoolboard and saw my name on the local news, been on the radio, and been mentioned in newspapers. I feel scared for pursuing this passion, and helping people with my education and experience, and another passion of mine, writing, I associated success in these areas with being shamed and discarded and harassed and given death threats. I will be working on enjoying the things I enjoy without toxic shame.
Well presented and explained. Thanks!
WOW! This is great! Thanks 😊
💝 Thanku this is a brilliant vid Thanku ur a real gift 💝 bless u Michelle 🙏
Your video helped me thank u x
Than you Thank you Thank you God Bless you
I keep coming back to this one..
I've been stuck in emotional flashback since 8 years ago. I was in school my schoolmate pushed me hard and i fell on the ground, i wanted to cry and feel angry which is something i was taught never to feel because it shows how defective i am. Every day since then, i feel so small and insignificant it just might dissapear any second now. I've had 2 therapists but they just didn't understand complexity of my trauma ( mind you they charged 50 euro / hour and my job paid 5euro / hour , then i realize i have more will to understand my trauma than them)
Wow...been looking for answers as to why I’m still stuck for so many years..agree with a previous comment...you get it....you understand
I've got it .. It's been driving me crazy ..it's The thousand-yard stare or two-thousand-yard stare is a phrase often used to describe the blank, unfocused gaze of soldiers who have become emotionally detached from the horrors around them. It is also sometimes used more generally to describe the look of dissociation among victims of other types of trauma. I've never seen those type of eyes ever regain there glow of life.. strange ..kinda like a lighthouse
I took your advice and I bought the Surviving to Thriving book. I love it! It is a really good book. I'm only on chapter 4 and already I feel supported and validated enough to let go of some fear. But I was surprised that the side effect to that was terrifying nightmares and constricted breathing. I feel happy all day long and go to bed at night then wake up with terrifying nightmares. It's like some separate part of me is reacting when the rest of me is feeling happy and positive. Is that a normal response?
Do you still have nightmares? Big hug 🌙
It make sense to me. Something like a part of your Self in exile or in rebelion. Having nightmares is a major sympton of cptsd. I still have them.
Michelle, make a video on how the children act when they leave a normal Mom or Dad and go to the narcissistic parent. Kids behaviors. Please
Wowsers solid gold thank you so much 🇬🇧💗
i noticed this automatic response also happens when you love someone after being narcissistically abused, in the way that you cant tell anyone or even communicate feelings of love. so you have to lie about who you love to the narcissist so that they wont hurt the person you actually love.
I get them all day long and unless I'm really busy and thought I was the only one ...
amazing video (as sual), can't wait for part #2 :)
Yes I panic
TY TY
This is helpful information. Yet, it triggered me. May be b/c it's Memorial Day & had a war scene took me back to being @ war. I really didn't expect that response. So hopefully, I can resume this episode later to get the content & context.
I would get a flashback then just look out the window of the car
90 percent of my flashbacks come inside car
Past year I had one
Love the big plant next to you.
That was the hardest for me .I'm not 100& healed but a lot better then 2017 never thought I would feel normal again.i have either cptsd or PTSD .that person. I was with was either a narc or sociapath with the dark traid and obessed stalker
I'm having dreams ... what does it mean
About narc x ... i wake up feeling horrible
Pls can you make a specific type video if possible on studies I have a narcissist mom she targets my education n makes me feel worthless n after my father left us I failed n my mom never helped me , now m doing well but I have anxiety issues when ever it comes to studying it's like I get very panicy n my mum plays on that everyday like Everytime n my teacher helped me out at that time in studies can you please make a video on it. Because of this behave of mine I feel I am incapable of doing things but also m good at a lot of things but not studying.
Part two please...?! O:D
i’m getting one rn and it’s not nice
I understand that a flashback can be intense and I've had my share. I also regularly get a tense feeling in my body, especially my legs. It's like a background flashback that I'm regularly in. Does anyone else experience anything like this? Or even better reduce or eliminate this feeling?
DAM I LOVW YOU YOU ARE SO AWESOME AND I APPRECIATE YOU THANK YOU SO MUCH I AM GOING TO BE OK
Can a flashbacks come in the form of a crystal clear dream ?
Hasn't the narcissist gone through the same ? Conditioned by a traumatic event Even worse repeatedly ?
@Sun Flower That's because you are a beautiful sunflower You need light and clean water to live sorry but you are a very big flower
I am wondering if anybody does not have trauma bonging in childhood still is abused by narcissist at his or her adulthood?
Thank you for using gender neutral terms. It’s hard sometimes to feel validated when the man is always the abuser.
Can you heal cptsd?
Yes, this happens after I broke up for 9 years OMFG.
Should a therapist trained to help with CPTSD ask about emotional flashbacks? I have been seeing therapists for four years. Not one mentioned EFs. I live with the something is wrong with me mantra. I tell therapists this. How can we heal without finding a therapist who is honest about this?
Hi Michelle: I learn from watching your videos and I appreciate your insight and intensity. In this video you seem to be conflating PTSD with CPTSD. The causations of the two conditions are very different. And you are right, that flashbacks and triggers are a normal (and horrible part) and common with both conditions. Thank you for your effort in putting out such helpful content!!
Yes - in this video I mention Ptsd flashbacks because many people are familiar with them - but I contrast them with Cptsd flashbacks which sadly, not many people know about or understand. My next video will be about how to handle Cptsd flashbacks 😊🤗 so glad you find my videos helpful!!
Before listening to this, I felt badvabout not visiting my mom. Not anymore :)
Has the narcissist gone through the same thing from the beginning ? And something died or is still just buried and to deep to dig up to grow again ? conditioned to the point of no return for true light
I'm struggling to know if I'm having an emotional flashback or legitimate emotional respond to what actually happens in the now...
People could take advantage and emotionally abuse us and say that you're having an emotional flashback and say that they didnt do or/and say anything wrong...
I asked you to show that with out a warning not good
this video was amazing but also.. making a video about PTSD/ CPTSD and flashbacks and then to play a clip of a veteran shooting a gun without any trigger warning at all seemssss like a very bad idea.
👍🌟⭐🌟⭐🌟
The world is toxic.
Goddamn you cant put that sequence in a Video for trauma experienced people!!! That's unverantwortlich!
hi
Shame is the lowest frequency, it is one step above death... sorry but there you lost me... Pete Walker would never use such terminology... for it only leads to more fear. When you notice shame, and become aware of it, compassion is needed. Not more fear of so called dangerous low frequencies. especially since these emotional states were induced to protect you from insane situations as a child.