What's The Most BRUTAL "Comeback line" You've Ever Heard? (r/AskReddit)
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 2 เม.ย. 2020
- AskReddit What is the most brutal comeback you've ever heard? Leave a Like if u liked the video, also SUBSCRIBE for more of the best NEW r/AskReddit Stories! Thanks for watching! ;d
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The cremation one was absolutely BRUTAL
Got roasted lmao.
No, he got cremated
@@neelskempable actually his mom did
Why didn't he just say that without making it a comeback
It was LIT
Some dude once called this girl "adopted"
And she said: "at least that means that my parents actually wanted me"
Cremation
Overrated
Doesn’t mean they did
Fookin hell
@@josephthegod3514 so why the fuck would they adopt her stupid fuck
Some kid from my school told me that I looked like a man (I'm a girl) and I said "What's your point? Are you interested?" He shut up real quick 🗿🗿🗿
💀💀💀💀🥀💀☠️
💥
💀💀💀💀
"Honestly, I'd rather date a guy then date you anytime." He should've replied with that smh
@@puglet8792 Hindsight is 20/20
None of these are as good as the comebacks I make for arguments In the shower
Don't talk wet. 🙃
dont drop the soap either
@@franzstigler3200 Your dad drops it every day
@@chaddedmapipi5789 which one
@@franzstigler3200 did you just... roast yourself?
Alternative answer to 2:30 :
"He's a pediatrician not a microbiologist."
LEMOn3rd HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Oooooooooooooooo, not even the polar ice caps would have had enough ice to cover that burn.
I'm writing this down
Seen this before 🤦🏽♂️ be more original
Use both
My class bully was roasting the quiet kid in class
Bully:See he doesn’t even have a comeback
Quiet kid:If you want my come back you’ll have to ask your mom
That's Jimmy Carr lol
What was the bully's reaction?
@@bricktea3645 Jimmy Carr is a comedian, he was dealing with a heckler. It shut the guy up.
And then everyone started clapping?
@@thelolmaster1997 yup
One day at middle school, my friend came to school with a bad haircut, everyone obviously noticed it but no one would mention it. But some girl passed by when it was recess and said, "nice bald spot" and without missing a beat my friend said, "thanks, at least I don't cover mine with weave", it was legendary
LMAOOO
LEGEND
@@sammpaz We call that tiffin period here. Extremely short lasting compared to other classes.
He needs a🏆
😂😂😂☠️
That made up for the haircut
I was bullied a lot in school; I got good at comebacks.
This one time there was this dude, he said to me, "Tell me when your gonna bring the gun," and I told him, "You'll be the first one to know." I said it in a tone, like he was gonna be the first one shot. Totally worth the trip to the office!
Haha, one of my friends at my school was like
"Nice boots," in that kind of sarcastic tone and my response was "what quiet kid wears shoes on their last day of school"
I didn't get in trouble
Honestly wish I would thought of that in middle school. The classmates I had said I had a school shooter vibe
Hell I don't believe that silly comment u made was bad enough to get u in office
@@bricktea3645 My school was very Anti-gun, so any mention of shooting up the school is a one way trip to the office.
@@jamesshaw3500 that's crazy sensitive!
Lol I would just talk about guns casually just to have fun with the people there
This guy who used to call me "Legs" was walking with the new business analyst at work and I had consumed a sufficient amount of coffee. I saw him say "watch this... HEY LEGS, HOW ARE YA?" to which I replied " NOT BAD, BEER GUT, HOW ARE YOU? ". He never called me Legs again.
(*Sorry Frank, I couldn't resist!)
THE BURNNNNN LOL
What funny is that my nickname at where I work
@@charlesmayet6215 are you tall and leggy too?
@@jessiejeanne9717 nah always complaining about my legs hurting so they call me legs
@@charlesmayet6215 oh God no! That's a terrible reason to be called something. That's like having chronic headaches and Frank calling me "Migraines". I hope your legs don't hurt anymore!!! My God...I just thought you were tall!!!
Probably no one will ever read this.
When I was around 10, my dad was helping me with some homework I had to do (he is bald), I missed one of the questions he asked me, and he said "Use your head, it's not only there for your hair". I responded right away with "If your head is only there for your hair, then I guess your head is useless".
Gabriel Díaz OOF That must have hurt
I like your cut G
Damn burnt
You sound like a little shit.
@@Cheepchipsable looks like you're the bigger one here
My mom was talking alone and I said :
"You know that people that talk alone are crazy right?"
Without skipping a beat she answers:
"Yeah, sometimes I need to talk to someone smart"
Rip
I'm a mutterer and I threw that out a few times in school growing up. "Why are you talking to yourself?" "I want some intelligent conversation."
I'm not saying I'm smart thought, it's something that constantly happened so by law of averages I came upon a decent response.
That one I've used a couple of times, actually.
Emotional damage
“He just continued the robbery ignoring my father”
When a hurricane was pounding his home state, Chris Brown tweeted "Please pray for Virginia."
TV writer Danny Zuker responded, "Oh God, what did you do to her?"
r/chrisbrownjustgotroastedhardandnowyouwillhaveahardtimereadingthis
@@7duko not at all
Danny zuker another libturd. A funny one tho.
Jerome Shalom stop
@@blockydogy1188 no u
My personal favorite that I made myself once when me and 4 of my friends were talking and someone walked up trying to cut into our conversation is "This is an A, B, C, D, E conversation so get the F OUT"
Genius
Ohhhh nice, im gonna steal that
That’s pretty good not gonna lie
Lmao
HOLY HEDGE APPLY ICE TO THE BURNT AREA
LEMME USE IT PLEASE
"Villain, i have done thy mother"
-Shakespeare, Titus Andronicus (Act 4, Scene 2)
Nay thee
Grantthe dank oh shit you got him
@@grantthedank8722 I laugheth my arse off
"What you egg?"
-Also Shakespeare
Unknown The unknown “What, you egg?”
[Stabs him]
Made a lucky shot in pool
Guy says "accidents happen"
I said "thats how you were born"
3 other people heard me and I got a good reaction
Pretty standard but nice
Damnnn
😂😂
12:45 One word destroyed an entire army
That is literally the most "Weird Hilarious" thing ever
I was playing roblox, and some kid tried to kill me but missed, and he said “dang I missed the idiot” (he thought I was annoying cuz someone was exploiting and I kept complaining about it cuz it’s unfair, and everyone said drop it and I didn’t because when people cheat it really pisses me off). Then I responded: so did your doctor during your abortion
i swear some people on roblox just try roasting and think its cool (its not)
Obama’s Hand yeah you sound kinda stupid lmfao. Getting mad because someone cheats? Like just join a different game it’s legit that simple
@@Baller4Life1 well no i was about to get my first win. also this guy had like 80 wins and i dont see why he even wanted to win tha badly. and this was also at the end of the game so i mean its not like i was raving the whole round
It's also frustrating since everything you say back gets censored.
You mean: So did your ###### during #### ########.
One time this kid said, “go back to where you came from” and I knew this kid was adopted so I said, “go back to the adoption center”
Lol this one overweight kid always makes fun of me so one day he said sup (my name) i said sup hippo
Fame Plays sure you did buddy
zoobia- pro “guies guies look at me i hav the redit! i am so coul!”
sonicj Polygon no cap that happened
Fame Plays suuuuuure
WD: You’re just acting like a child
Steven: I am a child what’s your excuse
"u child"
"no u"
And so these events led to Steven's PTSD, trauma and maybe depression
1. This is perfect. 2. I just found another steven universe fan so yay
@@marilovescats ayyye
FINALY A MAN OF CULTURE I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY PERSON HERE WHE KNEW ABOUT STEVEN UNIVERSE and is WD white diamond
How did White Diamond even know what a child is before meeting Steven?
Karen’s are the most vulnerable targets, just remember that
True so true
Not my mom. She the most karenest Karen I know and she can roast you so hard hell will bow down to her.
@@rossrocks9353 how many managers has she wrangled
@@larrychilders6599 oh don't even get me talking lol, I would never stop.
@Andromeda T they are Kyles
Grandmother's brother in law to my grandmother: "why is it that your sister is so thin at her age but you're so fat?" Grandma replies: "because she has been starving ever since she married you"
That wound will never heal
HOLY ATUA
That's some damage there XD
Buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrnnnnn!
69th like
If you were movie you'd be cats
same as the old trailer of sonic the movie for you
@@vavin0 meh
Still better than your life story
OOOHHHHH HOLY ZHIT
Wulfenite 768, That was lame.
The Wong made me remember when to my husband I said two wongs don't make a white . ✌🏻
Bruh my last name is wong ;-;
@@ai00436 Sorry babe. It was not my intention to offend you.
@@janiestraub5964 >:( lol
thats just wong
@@blodhevn2353 >:(
"They are probably with all the good looking girls"
DAAAAAAAAAMN
Bull's Eye!!
I was at my grandparents’ place, and was about to leave. My Mom did something that got me mad, and I told her that she sucked. Grandma said that it ran in the family.
I whip my head around, point at my Mom, and say,
“Well, we know where she got it from.”
I walk away, and grab my bags, and in the background, I hear my Grandmother stutter, and try to think of something, but it was to late.
I have way more, but none stick out in my mind as much as this. For the next week I walked around like a god.
this deserves a billion likes
best one
As you should
"I'm white and you're wong." I'm dead!! 😂😂😂🤣😂😂😂😂😂😂😂☠️
Im wright and your american
when I was 7th grade, a girl said another girl to “go sit to that” and showed the iron stick that is almost 2 meters...
then other girl said “sorry i dont do your hobbies”
still gets me lmao
Postak I can’t like or I would move the 69 likes to 70....lol
@@KangarooCheese55 Me too lolz
@@KangarooCheese55 someone did it
what the fuck am i the only one who doesn't understand this comment
@@Death2AllGaming the girl dared the other girl to slide on top of the iron rod with her pussy.
No need to thank the captain.
Someone said "don't you love it when you are more pretty than your ex boyfriend's new girlfriend"
"Maybe the fact that he isn't going for looks anymore means you taught him a valuable lesson"
No one
This video:
And with out skipping a beat
Imma just share a comeback I did, and its not brutal
So when I was in 10th grade, I had this homeroom teacher that literally spells drama.
All of my classmates feared her, cuz authority over power kinda deal since we're her students and she's a teacher.
Well one day, she was teaching english and asked us about book genres. I raised my hand, and asked "Then what's the difference between Suspense and Mystery?" She looked offended and returned the questioned to me, I looked at her and told her that I asked her first.
Not answering me, she asked my entire class. Mind you, my class aren't bookworms and our native language ain't english, so they didn't know how to answer it. She looked smug, and faced me with a smile and said. "See? If none of your classmates know, why would i know?"
Genuinely confused, but blunt, I said;
"Because you're a teacher?"
I've never felt my entire class fall apart while I felt so smug to see that smile of her's was wiped off her face
Sounds like she was a pretty shit teacher, that should not be a hard question for someone who teaches English, the difference is in the names. Understandable for non-native speakers who probably aren't solid on the definitions, glad you got her good.
Steve Hoffsetter, Ginger comedian
During a show he was dealing with a female heckler when she simply said "fiery crotch" he responded with "At least mine burns for a good reason".
Nice.
One time this guy was arguing with this girl and he asked me how to say “you’re annoying” in Spanish, well the guy was the annoying one so I told him: “Soy una Idiota” (which means I’m an idiot in Spanish) so he turns around and yells at her “SoY uNa IdIoTa!” I couldn’t stop laughing
a day or two ago i asked my mom where the trashcan was (new house)
and my sister said
"you dont need a trashcan, you're already one"
And so is your grammar.
@@Artizap_ 💀💀💀
Artizap Chill bro your gonna kill this dude
@@Artizap_ CHIL BRO JUST CHIL
Shoulda called Recycling because she's just Reusing you as material
Husband: you sure watch a lot of cooking shows, but don't cook more.
Me: you sure watch a lot of football and I don't believe you've been drafted, sir
1:50 i looked on his account. here's another comeback of his
Hater: As if isolation couldn't get any worse, James Blunt just came on the radio.
James: Worse must be realising you're too thick to change the station.
11/10 what a madlad
Ah Sparta, your simple come back always put a smile on my face.
Literally a historic comeback.
Same
Shoulda put that shit in All caps IF
I taught high school math at one point and one kid went “oh, go on with your mediocre teaching.”
“My mediocre teaching to match your mediocre learning.”
My favorite comeback was a large lady in my class said, "You have a big mouth." and the person retorted, "And you madam have a big everything else." The second one was in my store I worked in a lady was being a jerk and I turned to her and said, "You know the customer may always be right but she can also be quiet!"
Best comeback ever:
"I dont care that you broke your elbow."
"PPPFFFFF"
Years ago I had a particularly "pinup looking" blonde bombshell of a girlfriend, and brought her to meet my grandfather. My grandfather said, "Who is the bimbo?" She laughed, introduced herself to him, then said, "Its OK, I work in a nursing home with a lot of elderly people." LOL
My girlfriend is American I am Serbian (important)
We were hanging out with some friend and my brain started to screw up translations and I couldnt talk (happens when I am tired)
One of her friends (also American) started giving me crap for it
I just replied "U can give me shit when u can keep a fluent convo in my native language" and cussed in Serbian
I have better but they are inapropriate
Oh please tell more, for an amused commenter.
tell the rest of them, yt doesn't demonetized comments.
(well only if you want to that is)
Lol. I've been there.
I was teaching English in Italy. Whenever people gave me too much flack for my level of Italian my go-to response was always
"C'hai ragione. Facciamo questo discorso nella mia lingua"
-"You're right. Let's do this in my language." And reverted to English.
Cestitam
I’m Serbian too :D
My cousin has crashed every car he’s ever owned. It was Christmas 2010.. I was 9 years old and accidentally broke a toy I had gotten..my cousin says “you have nice things you shouldn’t be breaking them” and I clapped back and said “yea well you got nice cars..you shouldn’t be crashing them” lmaooo for a 9 year old it was a good comeback. He was pissed.
Is he still crashing cars to this day? XD
one of my teachers in high school was norweigan. and when she said "tattoo" she pronounced it
"toot-ooh" and most of the class found it quite funny and some kid repeaed the way she pronounced it. she then replied "I can say tattoo in 5 different languages and you can only say it in 1" it was so funny. but the whole thing was in very good spirits and that teacher is super nice
“ur mom.”
it was so brutal the guy on the receiving end had to shoot everyone in the room and then himself.
Ahahaha
F
Ur mom
Americans🙄
@@ollyvrc what are you?
My little brother: Shut up
Me: you wish I would
Lil bro: I hate you
Me: I love you too!!
Had to pause the video at 7:09 and go breathe in and out of a paper bag
Wow, that one was a little to hardcore...
I dont get that one
ross rocks that’s a good thing
@@johnschaefer124 I get the joke and the burn but not the retort if that makes sense
ross rocks ahh gotcha- laughing too hard and hyperventilated, bag helps slow breathing - not rly, just joke
Once when I was a little kid I was at a dinner party with my dad at one of his cousin's houses. The cousin was insanely rich with a huge mansion so I asked my dad what his job was. My dad told me he was a lobbyist and told me what that meant. I just said "well that sounds like a really easy way to get rich" because I thought a lobbyist was just someone who stands outside the white house holding a sign all day. The cousin was right there and he just thought it was funny.
Virus has detected A windows is that supposed to be a good roast
@@Errupt i-i think so...
What is a lobbyist?
@@MASTEROFEVIL i was literally thinking the same but afraid to ask lol
@@DoctorBones1 Hopefully you guys are asking because you're from a wonderful place other than America where lobbyists aren't as big a deal as they are here.
People call me four eyes because of my glasses and I just say "Yeah, stinks for me cuz I have to see you when I use them"
You can say "yeah i have 4 eyes but you dont even have a brain"
Kifayet Carçıyeva Good one
Man, my friend was made fun of cause they couldn't see well without their glasses, so when someone made fun of them being 'blind as a bat' I went "They don't need glasses to see that you're not worth our time."
Not mine, but happened to a friend:
Friend was dating this girl who was short (like 5'3 in heels) and had terrible eye sight, which she'd always insisted wasn't as bad as it really was (this girl was terribly near sighted, and almost walked into walls multiple times) So eventually, she finally got glasses.
My friend, who is a noted shit-talker, saw her with her glasses on for the first time, and said "wow babe, you look so much smarter with glasses on." Without missing a beat, she responded "You know, it's funny, YOU look smarter when I have glasses on too." Never saw my friend get so quiet so fast. I had to excuse myself so I could go laugh.
I was once told I had no nerve to roast a certain someone, I had told her, I don't want to do something mirror already does. I did not think this is a good roast, but everyone around me went crazy.
Friend: me looking for who asked
Me: me looking for your dad
Andromeda T lol ok
"What are ya, the president of his fan club?"
"No, that would be YOUR MOTHER!"
*PROVIDES PHOTOGRAPHIC EVIDENCE*
4:35 That was the most lethal burn ive ever seen
Thousands of years ago, the Spartans had to defend an area between two mountains against the Persians. A messenger from the Persian empire came down to the Spartans and this happened.
Messenger: “The Persian Army has thousands of archers. They will block out the sun with their arrows.”
Leonidas of Sparta: “Then we shall fight in the shade.”
This quote has been overused in modern media and movies, but it’s still the beast historical quote ever.
that sounds like something from 300
10:53
I would replied "At least I have friends" or "At least my friends enjoy my company"! 😂
“you gay lol”
“at least you are my bf then”
Never bring a ginger to a hair fight...
UNLESS IT'S WENDY'S
9:43 A proper response could be: "Well thanks for introducing yourself, and my name is..."
Friend: you’re such a pisstake
Me: yeah well at least I wasn’t a mistake
BRO THE ONE ABOUT THE DUDES WIFE AND OP'S MOTHER WAS JUST BRUTAL.
That made me go "BRRRRROOOOOOOO"
I watch this and all my brain can think is “LMAO SAVAGE”
One time when I was a the store with my mom there were these siblings fighting. It got to the point where they were just throwing out insults. One of them said "you're adopted" and this 12 year old said "at least they wanted me". Never saw a better comeback since.
My best:
I was in school on lunch time and a guy went up to me saying “Hey, you!” I looked at him saying “Yes, what?” Then he said “Why are you so stupid and ugly at the same time?” And immediately answered “Oh I didn’t know you changed name to *you*” and then everyone started laughing as he walked away.
The cremated mother one was brutal but hilarious at the same freaking time 😂😂☠️💀
5:49
“Wang, pronounced Wong”
Ah yes, thanks for clearing that up
Teacher: "gays are bad"
Me: "over population is bad"
Damn the smirk on my face
He wasn’t ready for that smoke Scott threw at him 🤣🤣💀💀💀
7:02 *D A M N B O I*
“Look! It’s the Queer Chaser!”
“Excellent observation. I’m giving you a 5-minute head-start.”
XD
1:45 was it just me or did anyone notice the text to speech bot almost let out a laugh?
@CATel it's been a year, I was probably high af when I posted that.
"Yeah, well, so's your FACE!"
And then everyone clapped and the restaurant comp'd our meals!
Sums up this whole video
(I'm with a friend, and he's playing Pokemon go.)
Me: You play Pokemon go?!
Him: Yeah, well you play magic the gathering!
Me: You play it too.
Him: Well, you actually know how to play it!
Me: Because I'm not stupid.
Not as good as the others but I got a good laugh from it.
I don't understand why Pokemon seems to be such a topic for making fun of people before Pokemon GO came out. Being the fan that I am, I learned names and stuff of most of the pokemon up to gen 6 because I enjoyed it so much. When I got crap from someone claiming to be good at the game but not even recognizing the Eevee I was drawing, I straight up told them, "Go ahead, name twenty pokemon that aren't Pikachu. I'll wait." Needless to say, I won. Not as good as yours, but grade-school-me walked away a champ.
@@ragingstormx1330 That's really funny- You seem quite good at Pokemon.
“If.”
*You’ve gotta have some titanium balls to say that and holy shit avoiding Sparta was definitely a good choice*
I'm Native american.
I was told. "Man I'll beat another trail of tears out of you."
By a coworker, i bought them a drink.
I hope you're Cherokee, Creek, Choctaw, Chicasaw, and/or Seminole--otherwise the coworker just sounds like another ignorant fuck.
I'm Metis and my European Coworker offered me a blanket after I roasted him I just high fived him and we ended our shift.
For reference I'm Canadian
that airforce quality control one had me rolling, it reminded me of my brother when we were in high school
I didn't even realise that I'm pretty early lmao
Me neither
Wtf me neither lmao
Belt
me neither
Hear that?? That's the sound of nobody caring about how early u are..
the one i saw was my dad coming home after getting milk
lol Confused the robbers enough that they ignored him while robbing the bank
Once at lunch this girl was bullying my friend Noah for being short and she was like “I’m like twice as tall as you” “no? But you do weigh twice as much.”
Oooh burnt!
Considering that it is girl That is BRUTAL🔥
"I have more money than you"
Wow. Such an comeback. Slow clap.
The last one was just perfect !
The man has absolutely zero F to give about the fact a random guy had a gun up to him lol
Write that down Write that down
8:34
I honestly thought it could be me but then i saw the 7 years ago thing and realized im not 20.
r/EveryoneClapped
R/stillbetterstorythantheLastJedi.
I was in jungle java while I was maybe 9 or 10 and this little girl was being a prick to me and my friend and even pushed him. So, we left the playground for snacks. I came back and when I saw her, I sad, "Oh, there you are, my mom told me to take the trash our, but I couldn't find you." She looks so mad and I'm laughing so hard. I leave. Anyway a little while later my mom calls us down bc were leaving. As I'm walking in one of the hallways, I see the girl talking to her mom, all I hear is "and then she says, 'my mom told me to take the trash out, but I couldn't find you'". I stop for a sec and look at her and I think she saw me for a moment. I ran laughing and we went home. I wish I stopped and told her mom how much of a prick she was being.
Tldr: Insulted a little prick at Jungle Java when I was ten, saw her trying to tell on my to her mom as I left.
Moral of the story is don't be a prick.
“I’m white and you’re wong.”
*”Flextape can fix that!”*
Just today at my live lesson history, my mom walked past the pc and asked me if thats my english teacher, i said :" no mom, history." My mom replied:"she looks like history."
my sister and i are very different people. she's the confident one while i'm more introverted. anyway, her, my mom, and i were in the living room where my sister asks "mom, did you ever think i'd grow up to be *this* incredible?" and without looking up from my phone, i ask, "mom, did you ever think i'd grow up to be *this* irritable?"
That comeback is as shit as you're existence
Your reply is as shitty as your hole family tree, and your grammar is as wrong as the day you were born.
@@marianaoliveira1928 thanks
@@julajam425 It was nothing. Some people say shit like that because they have a screen protecting them from getting a deserved beat up.
@@marianaoliveira1928 oh, i thought you were insulting me.
Me: watches this video
Also me: *WRIGHT THAT DOWN, WRIGHT THAT DOWN!!!*
Using plane old ink are we?
2 wongs don’t make a wright
Charles the French?
These replys are confusing :p
@@kpags5670 white*
Respect to the people who shared roasts that happened to themselves
"You wanna destroy my career? Better get one for yourself!"
I was that quiet kid that would occaisionally let out smoothe comebacks like this. One time a guy was bullying me at a job, and I promptly dismantled his argument with great efficiency and asked him to leave me alone if he was going to be like that.
I could FEEL my group respect go up by 50% or more in that moment
this was on roblox lol XD
them: i saw your dad out buying milk
me: at least mine came back unlike yours
mate he got stuck in scp 3008
ging is typing...
damn this comment sucks
@@pattappokemon don't worry buddy.
@@thesrilankanguy3652 yee ik, im just looking back at old comments lmao
The one with Scott was so brutal, I would’ve been laughing and crying
5:57 that one made me chuckle
Bruh how old is this ask reddit it legit says 7 years ago
It got trending again like a month ago
6:38 the song is called More Human Than Human.
Walking up some stairs and the guy behind me said, "Pasty, has anyone ever told you you've got a big bum?" I shot back, "At least I don't talk out of it."
“You must have been born on the highway, because that’s where most accidents happen”
Thank you SpongeBob