This Health Crisis is Worse for You Than Obesity or Smoking
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 18 มิ.ย. 2024
- The loneliness epidemic: weillcornell.org/news/america...
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My 20 year old son said it all..." social media" isn't " social", it is "anti-social".😅😂😂😂
I am 75 years old and it is my opinion that social media has not been healthy for many people. Born in 1948, I had spent my entire life relating to people face to face at school, at work and at home. When Facebook came along, I just didn't like it because it just felt fake to me. Other types of social media, texting for instance, makes me feel ignored when I'm with someone who looks at his/her text as we are talking. Short of an emergency or really important message that can't wait, I do not interrupt someone I am talking to or who is talking to me. Eye contact, body language showing one is listening are among things needed in order to connect with others.
As you indicated, it takes time to build relationships and doing it with people with whom you share an interest or two.
Well said
I feel the same way, my sentiments exactly. I am 56 yrs old. I never even signed up for call waiting decades ago because I thought it was rude. I stopped Facebook, and do not do any social media. People think I am a poop, but I don't care. Real friends will come to the surface out of the muck. Real relationships will prevail. It is worth it.😊❤
It’s a tool.
Well said!
Fifty-seven here. Same!
I sometimes have feelings of loneliness until I hang around other people, then I consider being alone as a huge blessing. Most the time I feel lonely it's caused by an oppressive self-pity emotion. I try to quickly recognize it and hunt for something fun/productive to do.
I hear you, I do enjoy my alone time, that's when I recharge. Then seek out people when I need it.
If you're interested, I recommend the book The Road Less Travelled. It will make being alone feel ok. It desrcibes how aloneness is different that loneliness. It talks about how it's normal to be alone when you have different beliefs and priorities in life bc there are less ppl like you. And that you wont actually enjoy others company bc they are not like you.
I mean, the common denominator in all these situations is you, so maybe...you're the problem and not other people?
@@megsley 🤣
“I use to be a people person and then people ruined it for me”. I’m 66 and the pandemic made me realize how self sufficient I was and how much I liked my own company. Being ALONE is different than being lonely. I keep in touch with friends by phone and sending cards. I do things with a very select group. I even have a towel that says “My alone time is for everyone’s safety”. Cheers.
I am about the same age and feel exactly the same. I’m done with trying to do things just because everyone says I *should.* I know what works for *me.* I need and love alone time… *lots* of it!
I am not an introvert.... but I am a highly sensitive person.... being around people is emotionally exhausting.
My husband works nights, typically he is home and awake, from 11am to 2pm.....
I spend (shrug) 90% of my time without other people?
Sometimes I feel sad from being alone, but the hurt from being around insensitive people,
is worse.
I try to stay focused on various projects.
🫂
I can relate to your feelings. Hurtful experiences are hard to get over. I am trying to push myself a bit and have formed a couple friendships. It wasn’t comfortable. I’m glad I tried.
I totally get it. There is a scene in the movie "As Good As It Gets" where Melvin (Jack Nicholson) is in a restaurant with in Maine with Carol (Helen Hunt). He's talking about his feelings for her, and he says, "This is exhausting talking like this." That was my favorite part of the movie because I feel like that all of the time.
You describe me exactly! I feel the same way!
After I retired, I met people in my community by walking the dog. A neighborhood park was 1/4 mile away. I walked to that park twice a day and I found other dog owners who became good friends. Other neighbors who liked dogs but didn't own one joined in. This was a major part of my social life for close to 20 years.
I find it difficult to make friends. I'm a weird combination of introvert and extrovert. Once I push past the urge to hide out at home alone, I actually enjoy being around people but it's just too easy to stay home. I honestly didn't mind the pandemic/stuck at home year(s) - it felt pretty normal and it was like I was given permission to veg.
This is me, too!
I agree with you. I also enjoyed staying home and relaxing
I agree. I was a nurse in a hospital and was very active. Once I retired I had moved away and stopped going out. All my friends were from work only. I have gotten help and my family is involved so that helps. Thank you for this. You guys are great!!
I enjoyed the accepted social time out as well, but it did leave me anxious to rejoin.
I feel you. I can never tell if I’m an introvert or extrovert. Like it really depends, and I do struggle to leave my house. I didn’t mind the pandemic years either. I had my husband who is also my best friend and my animal count surged from x2 to x5 so I felt like I was emotionally engaged. But I definitely feel like I should branch out more because of some of the reasons brought up in this video.
One can be in a loving relationship and still be lonely.
That's true,
I really wish I understand how that's possible. Is it that your partner isn't fulfilling something?
@@nightangel3578 I think it amounts to whether there is true intimacy in the loving relationship. You can live with someone and still never get to the place of truly knowing them and feeling that they are a friend and partner. Real intimacy is about being authentic without any judgement or self censorship.
I think of it more as a melancholy spirit rather than true loneliness. No “significant other” can change that spirit. I often had this melancholy until I worked on my spiritual health.
That doesn’t make sense
I think that social media has ruined a lot of the social in person interaction. Talking to people on FB is not the same as in person. I would much rather meet in person over coffee or a meal than sit on FB. I am 61 and when I was growing up there was none of the electronics we have today and we were always outside or at friends places listening to music. We went to concerts and were always busy. I really miss those days. I miss the interaction with friends and family, now days we only get together at weddings and funerals. So Sad.
I miss those days also!! It’s a different world now.
I miss the socializing so much as well. I have groups I belong to but it has taken years to form a connection with anyone in the groups to socialize outside of the group. I had so many friends in my first marriage because I was a military wife and we were all in the same situation of being in a new place, and it was easier to find friends. Socializing has changed now though.
I agree 100%😊
Are you sure the issue is social media? Why not make the effort to make plans to meet up?
Look up concerts or other events happening in your area and invite your friends.
Social media has helped me be way more social than I would have been otherwise. Because you're not supposed to keep those interactions online, you take the initiative to meet up in person.
Apps and sites like facebook are meant to fill the gaps between the times you are unable to see people in person, like if they're far away from you. You see vacation pictures and then you can ask about what you saw in them when you meet up.
It extends social time, it doesn't replace it!
Just before Covid I became disabled with M S. My husband and i are elderly (well just 71). We still are young at heart but my illness keeps us home. Loneliness is killing me. Most of. My friends stayed away from us during covid because of my illness. I can’t drive anymore. Enough of my sob story. I hear you❣️
Hugs Gayle ❤️❤️
Hugs. I hope you can reach out sonewhere.
I've had neuromuscular illness for almost 40 years. It serves as a good filter to see who is truly a loyal friend when your health goes down hill. No one needs fairweather friends. True friends will find a way to spend time with you.
Hugs ❤ to you, and your husband, God bless ❤you
I know someone with a similar illness who saw great results in a clinical trial with Cart T cells. Look into it! It’s showing promise with several illnesses
When my husband and I moved 2000 miles away from family and friends so he could finish out his career, I volunteered at a retirement center, started taking music classes and joined a womens group. Before long I had to schedule my time to avoid being "too" busy. You are correct though. I had to take the first step.
Thank the Lord I am 💯 ok with very limited socializing. Most people are fake friends. I love my husband and my dogs.
I have been a mother most of my life. I didn't want or need anyone outside of my family. In my silly head, I never thought about the day everyone would grow up and scatter to the wind. I know, kind of dumb on my part as that is the goal and my job was to raise them up to go out into the world! A few years back, our youngest left home, went into the military and to the other side of the planet. I seriously thought I might die. My *reason* was gone. I'm not a joiner, a herd type girl, a social butterfly. I'm a wife and mom. I've never known such loneliness. My proudest moment was also my saddest moment. Our home was like a tomb. My husband invested in art products and told me that I should reconnect with my love of art. It has really helped and I try to bless people with the things I make. I still feel no interest in "joining" up with others personally, but I need a purpose and making gifts for random people gives that to me. Thank you for sharing this with us, good to know.
Yes I relate to this.
Oh man do I miss my kids. So sad and lonely 😥😥
God bless you. You are a "maker". Creative artistic people are special. Do not try to "fit in".😊❤
@@melaniecaron1650my heart breaks for you. As much as we know they must fly, I guess I kind of imagined them landing a bit closer to home, Sunday dinner, picnics in the mountains close....
But nope. 🥺
@@tanahaines1043 Yes, I feel lost. Cant do what I did before kids. Trying to find a whole new life after kids. I'm glad you found something to do. I will keep searching. May you have a long and happy 3rd life.
I always take the opportunity to talk to people wherever I am-in line at a store or anywhere I have a chance to say something nice to someone and make them feel good. Such a little thing that makes people smile.
I've been lonely for 20 years. Not having a vehicle is crippling.
I’m 73, and can see the changes since social media began. People relying on facebook, twitter etc for connections. Although it can be helpful in ways, it can’t replace face to face. Nothing like going with friends to the movies, bowling, exercise class….whatever. It’s so healthy and physiologically important.
That dog is everything. I love being with people but not all the time
I am 65 years old. I live alone. After my husband died and then covid struck , things never returned to normal. The loneliness I deal with has killed my soul. Sometimes I don't even know why I bother to get up each day except for my little dog. I worry about who would take care of her.
sending a hug
I’ve always been too busy taking care of others to think about loneliness but 5 years ago my husband and I separated then 2 months later my mom died. My kids and grandkids all live hundreds of miles away. Now I’m pretty much homebound and it stinks🥴. Even though I hear from my kids daily and I know that makes me extremely fortunate there are times I sit and weep. Learning to live life in a whole new dynamic is challenging but doable.
Instead of just sitting and watching tv I choose to watch videos and livestreams. I used to watch random videos but then I found creators that I liked and started focusing on them and interacting through comments. It will never replace human to human contact but it definitely helps!
What I miss more than anything are hugs! My love language is touch and being alone robs me of that.
I’m a fantastic virtual grandma though! My 19 month old granddaughter and I play everyday! I read to her, sing with her, and play hide and seek. When we’re hanging up she always hugs herself and kisses the phone screen 🥰.
I absolutely LoVe the idea Sara of you giving away flowers. So sweet. Thank you for this topic. I prefer to be alone as INFJ senior. I struggle with constant focus on HIGH crime in a dangerously large city with extreme temps.
👠👠 Definitely not in Midwest and nature at its finest anymore. I miss my lake life, green trees, colorful flowers, beautiful birds, fox, even skunks, possums and squirrels. Sounds of crickets and frogs. Hugging a tree in nature. Bike trails and walking in nature barefoot. Nature, wildlife/domestic animals are my vibe. Humans optional (Just kidding). Did I mention 🎨🖍️CoLoR is missing on the pallet in this big city? Don’t ever let the simplest gift of life go unnoticed or for granted. Life is precious. Folks don’t remember what you gave them for Christmas last year. They always remember how you made them feel. Reach out your hand to lift a heart. ♥️💐🫶
I've tried to have friends throughout my life but people, especially women, tend to be very judgemental, gossipy and competitive. Everyone talks behind everyone's backs and I'm just not that way. I'm lonely and battle depression daily, but sometimes it's easier to deal with that then all the drama that comes with people. Unfortunately I never met that one loyal friend you can depend on, so I've become very introverted and gave up trying.
😢😢
Hoping you can find some good people. My friends are not that way at all. Maybe take a class in something you are interested in, or find some kind of group other than a group that knows each other. If someone makes a judgmental comment, come back with something you like about the target person. Disarm the gossips. Good luck.
This is so true. I really only have one good girl friend. 2 more that I talk to but learned I can't trust
because men aren't,right? 😂
I've met way more judgemental men than women,but whatever makes you feel better
I like being alone.. peaceful, quiet. I use to be a social butterfly, but as I get older, I'd rather sit quietly by myself.. see family a few times a month :)
Amen! Yes! It is, even though I have been somewhat of an introvert rogue my entire life, after pandemic I seriously feel lonely for the first time in 30 years of my life and no type of escapism works anymore. It’s so eerie and depressing at times.
People seem to have gotten permanently comfortable with not getting involved with human beings after the pandemic. Many seem to not want to put forth the effort to reactivate, start and/or maintain frienships anymore. yessss...Emily just said that. 👍 The work/life IMBALANCE has altered us all...
Oh! Sarah, your free flowers 💐 touched my heart. I can just imagine a heavy heart walking by and you reminding them that people are mostly good! ❤
Emily, being the ultimate friend is awesome! “Like a plant” 😂 I have a friend like you and I’m so grateful for her. Thanks for bringing this to us, ladies!
I am not really lonely, because I am used to being by myself, because I could never get my friends to do things that I like to do this was back in the 80’s. Outdoor activities, working out. Most of my friends got married young, and divorced, boyfriends and drama.They were not dependable for being showing up for activities, so I did them alone. I wasn’t a big party person. I dated here and there, was engaged once, but did not marry. I am retired and 66 now and I have my 2 dogs and my house and I am very happy being by myself. If I need company I go to the community pool and stuff like that. People have really changed in the past 20 years. They’re not as friendly and outgoing, I remember. I have been on Keto for 6 years and lost 45 pounds and kept it off, and never felt better and sleep better than when I was working at a real stressful job where bullying ran rampant.
“I’m like a plant.” 😂😂😂
Loneliness is so hard, thank you for sharing this. I have told friends this before when they say they are lonely, they need to go to things they get invited to, don’t just sit at home because you don’t know everyone or only know the one person who invited you. I’ve got myself out of my comfort zone so many times I have so many new friends because of this! I’m very involved in church and help in areas I want to help in and meet so many friends lifelong friends this way. I took my dog through many training classes nd now he and I are a therapy team and visit hospitals and. Nursing homes, and so many there are. Are. Very lonely. Best advice is get out of your comfort zone and just try it try something new and like church go , go more then once or twice, you will make friends! I have a friend for over 30 years who I got close to when our daughters where in kindergarten and I would see her and her daughter walking to school, I offered them a ride one day and gave them a ride after that. Be the one like you said who smiles, who holds the door, who lets someone go in front of you in line
Love the little 🌹🌷🌹🌷🌻🌺🌸shelf❤️
Thank you for liking this whoever you are, it’s crazy but I was feeling “lonely” because no one had “liked” my post and seemed like all the other post got “liked” 😩😖🥴 social media ugh!
I have the opposite problem. I live with my elderly father who has dementia. I find myself always wanting to be alone.
That's a real responsibility.
This is prevalent in us old people because no one cares about us, they consider us a burden on society, and everyone blames us for all of the world's ills. Most of us are just dumped somewhere by our adult children and forgotten about or ignored. 2020 definitely made things worse and social media is pushing people further & further apart. I am a complete recluse now, whereas I used to be the life of the party. Loneliness doesn't even begin to describe it & I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.
I agree that the pandemic and social media has made it harder. Society is colder now. And it’s hard to take that step to try to be more social.
It has been proven that in the elderly one of the biggest reasons for dementia is caused by loneliness.
Yeah, "science" has proven this... sure.
I have never heard that but it makes so much sense. How very sad.
I feel like many people started caring for plants and flowers in the home during c-vid. In the future, can Sarah make a 10 min video on simple flower arranging...interview the local florist if you have to 😉
Thanks!💕
I have to say that a lot of times, I enjoy being alone, however, I do have a lot of friends that we have our faith in common and we love to attend our meetings and get our hugs and encouraging information that helps us to cope with the times we live in.
I am 74 years old, similar to the lady that spoke of who is 75 years old. I retired six years ago. In 2021 my sister passed away, she was divorced like me. My brother lives near me, but he has a wife, my children live 3000 miles away. We talk every single day for at least 20 minutes or 30 minutes or so but the only communication I have all day long is to talk to my cat lol I can drive, I’m Keto and have been for five years, There are several different groups in my area but none of them are for older women. I see widows, I see a if you have toddlers group, if you have children group, but they’re sort of a place out there for women, who are retired, live alone, I don’t really have anything to do every single day. So you get up you have your coffee, you watch TV, you watch TH-cam, I get on Facebook, but our age group in our 70s it’s not a lot there for us. I don’t crochet, I don’t knit,I’m in a semi small town. I do go to church. I do have that on Sundays. But during the week other people are busy with their families or still working. So yes, I can understand there is loneliness.
I was afraid of this when I was approaching retirement, so I took classes to learn to knit and crochet. I'm now in a knitters and craft group once a week. They don't all knit, some do hand sewing all types of things, and not all masters. If you can find a class to learn something new and have a look in your area to see if there is a group you can join. I'm now learning spinning from this group, its something I never even thought of. Good luck and I understand.
There's a crochet group that meets at my local library, and we have one woman who doesn't crochet or knit, but she's always welcome. And if someone wants to learn, that's a way to get into it as well, but even if you don't, as long as you're interested in being part of the group and honestly connecting with people, most people are willing to let you slip on in. It's harder in a lot of small towns, but many of them have coffee shops, libraries (even if they are small), farmers markets... ask around at church or see if you can have something put in the bulletin asking if folks want to do something as simple as walking at a local park or sharing recipes. Churches can be a great resource for community.
It takes a bit of effort, though, and I understand completely. Don't discount talking to your cat! They are truly companions and a health benefit.
Mental health is super important!
If people can sense “desperation and neediness,” what can a very lonely person do to present themselves as not?
I get the concept of getting involved in the community. But, my issue is that I am in a long season of where I am the person who helps others. Im the stepping stone to further others along. No one reciprocates or is considering me, job, friends, etc.
I initiate conversations even when they only respond with two words.
I can volunteer but it will be what I can give to them and no care of me personally. It is still one way.
But, maybe some people are the stepping stones and that is it.
Many people confuse “loneliness” to “being alone.” You can be alone, but not be lonely. I live alone, enjoy being alone, and never feel any loneliness….
I agree! I too spend the majority of my time alone. Once in a blue moon I might feel lonely, most of the time I find it peaceful. ❤
Amen 😊
I agree. Same here.
Totally agree 💯%
I went to my son's for Fathers Day over the weekend and came home thinking how I have distanced myself from my kids and grandkids. It hasn't been intentional, just that everyone else is busy. Great ideas here, thanks for addressing it.
I am lonely sometimes not because I don't have a lot of things going on, but I'm lonely most times for REAL connection with people. I find it hard to get past the fluff and the mask that most people wear. I try to have real talk about real things but I find most people I meet want to talk about things that are mostly pop culture, which unfortunately doesn't interest me very much. I just can't do small talk for too long, it makes me want to pull my hair out. I like authentic and real interactions but it's harder and harder to find those as the years go on. It used to be so easy.
It’s very hard nowadays to find real relationships. Like you said, people aren’t interested in real discussions on real topics. I can do the small talk stuff for a while, but it does get old. I think everybody has their guard up so much, including myself, really, that it’s hard to break through that.
Great topic. As an introvert I struggle with balancing time with others…which drains my energy and being too isolated. I went from working in an office (pre-pandemic) to working from home. I don’t miss the commute, but miss the in person engagement.
Loneliness is so powerful that can most definitely lead to a deep state of depression. I feel lonely at times and I don't live alone! So many people think if you are not living alone how can you be lonely. I have felt this over most of my life, had very few friends!
Thanks for sharing this video!
I totally get that. It’s even more painful than actually being alone. I’m grateful for connecting even via TH-cam.
Same here, which is why I also started my own channel over a year ago - in hopes to help others!
Yes I felt more alone when married than I do now. Became single because of that type of loneliness.
@@vindeljay I truly love my husband of 20 years, there are just times I feel conversation could be so much better.
Like a plant? A little humor for a serious topic. You two rock.
It is a real problem and one that is very difficult to talk about because so many people only talk about how busy they are. Loneliness is especially prevalent in the senior population, especially for those of us who do not have children or grandchildren. I work on this by trying to find places I can volunteer and going to places that are free like county community centers. Most have senior exercise classes for free and game times (dominoes, cards, bingo, etc.) Being an introvert, this is difficult for me, but it is better than the severe loneliness ( and the beginning of depression) that can creep in when you go weeks without really interacting socially with anyone.
oh i guessed loneliness before i even read the description and it's a vicious cycle for sure. i've always been an introvert but wished i was more outgoing, but during the pandemic i totally became a hermit and now almost to the point of being afraid to be around people but still desperately craving interaction - my boss and best friend coworker were laid off over a year ago so i dont even have people at work to talk to and i'm in a creative roll which is super hard in a vacuum!!
My husband and I are retired. At first, it was somewhat "lonely" not connecting daily with coworkers and friends. But, we have solved that by volunteering at 2 different communities and now have active, fulfilling lives and lots of new friends. We love it! Would highly recommend volunteering. ❤
Agree❤
This is very real. My daughters all live a ways away from me. One of them is in the US. My husband and I moved to another area of the city so I am not really in contact with some people I formerly saw almost everyday. I have found myself now mainly looking after my husband who has a heart condition. He sleeps a lot.I talk to my daughters almost everyday and so happy for that. I do feel lonely though throughout the day. It is very real.
Praying
I understand, just call people just to talk a little about nothing really
I have no friends. I care for my husband, and I'm so incredibly grateful to have him. But I'm extremely, extremely lonely.
I need to connect with your mom! I also love K-dramas. I am a 60 year old, ketovore, white woman, and K-dramas are my vibe! Love both your channels!
Wow, you hit the nail on the head about being the organizer of activities and no one wants to come because sadly, they are used to isolating. I am burned out from trying to get friends together. That 3rd space used to be the front porch everyone had in my grandparents' days. They would sit on their porch and people would stop by for some lemonade, cookies, and conversation. They would sit and talk way past sunset. Great topic!
Now I’m laughing! My sister-in-law LOVES those Korean dramas. She is always trying to get me to watch them with her!😂😂😂
Do it! It takes a while to get into them though 🤣
@@technicallyketo My next-door neighbor is a retired kindergarten teacher and binge watches Korean soap operas into the wee hours of the morning. No, she’s not Korean, not even Asian.🤣 We live in the OC, the home of the RHOC, and frequent many of the places you’ve seen on the show. i've eaten at The Quiet Woman several times, but it was always ... quiet! Once in a while we spot one of them 'out in the wild'.
@@technicallyketo If I tell my sister-in-law you said this I will never hear the end of it!🤣🤣🤣
When I first moved to this town I tried to join a social group and they were SO RUDE they actually DID NOT WANT ANY NEW MEMBERS!
I teach virtually and my Chinese adult students have communicated that Chinese folks are lonely-extremely. The crowding causes a sort of forced introversion. So over crowded commutes but no one talks with anyone. They keep to themselves.
I volunteer 3 days a week at my local senior center.
It gives me joy.
I get to know other people in my community.
This is very spot on. I retired 3 years ago and was fine just being home with my hubby and the pets, with intermittent visit from our kids. A few months ago, I realized I needed more. I became active in a political group to meet like minded people and group of just women. I am happier now, I don't make friends easily, shy by nature, and hard of hearing to boot. This has helped so much.
Darlin'... It's not admitting that we're lonely that's a problem. Admitting we're lonely comes with the defining factor that we NEED other people. When we admit we need people, it makes us open to both rejection and acceptance. Fear is the problem. Love y'all!
Completely agree! I grew up in a household that moved every 18 months due to my dad’s job. So no friends growing up. Then I kept to myself in college because I just wanted to finish. Then I started working. Did h the e same thing as my dad… and moved every 18 months. So my friends were my neighbors or people I worked with. The greatest invention has been Facebook as I still have connections with many people I once worked with or old neighbors. Met my future husband online…..he grew up in the same house, he then bought that house and we lived there. When I turned 53, I went in long term disability, I’m now 64 and I have no real in person friends. I have my beautiful stepchildren, but they have their own lives. I no longer drive…so I lost my friends from work….i was the planner…so when I stopped driving it was harder to see anyone.
Now we have moved out to the country and I don’t even have neighbors.
My best friend lives in Atlanta, another in Calgary and that’s pretty much it. We chat, but it’s hard to see each other!
So I get it! Completely!
K dramas are great! K-pop is also great!
I love you gals! I am an older woman with no partner, no children, and I am estranged from what family I have left. Loneliness is something I feel intensely, to the point where it makes me cry. I don't have a lot of friends, and some of those I do/did have are dying or dead. The only thing I can do is try to make connections with other people. I joined a community garden 2 years ago. I got paid to walk other people's dogs. Then the dogs died of old age. But I keep trying to be connected to others in some way. I have complex PTSD and really, I have felt lonely for my entire life.
That is sad! It sounds like you have really pushed yourself to do some good things. If you are still able to walk fairly well, try to find a person or two to walk with. You could ask if anyone is interested on the NextDoor platform. It is good for your physical health and is fun to talk as you are going. I miss my good friend who passed this last January. We used to meet up and walk.😂Another idea would be to take a community education class for crafts or pickle ball or something that interests you. I have always thought it would be fun to meet up with a group of women for coffee, do adult coloring, and visit.
🎉GO OILERS! I'm not really a hockey fan, but I love participating in the Edmonton community spirit during playoff season! it's very uplifting and instantly connecting between complete strangers!
Great video and info! My mom suffered from depression when I was a child. I believe it stemmed from loneliness. She stayed home to raise three kids while my dad worked six days a week most of the time. She is very introverted and so didn’t have friends. There was such a stigma at the time about mental health issues so she wouldn’t see a doctor. I’m so glad that stigma is lifting. My childhood would have been so different had she sought the help she needed.
I love your dog! I love you two and the topics you discuss. My husband began working in the Philippines two years ago. When he first moved there, he said he would go an entire weekend without having a meaningful conversation with another person. His weekend communication was limited to the “thank you’s” to the food delivery person or taxi driver. I remember him saying, “I miss having someone to actually “talk” to.” He joined a fitness club where he made friends. He also has morning coffee and and evening appetizer/beer at the same places nearly every single day. He said becoming a “regular” at those two places helped a lot because it had the “Cheers” effect- where “everybody knows your name” and the other “regulars” are happy to see him when he walks in. They talk and laugh and enjoy each other’s company. Thank you for what you do, Emily and Sarah, you two are a gift to all of us. ❤
Thank you so much for this video. Community is an immensely important part of one’s life. Five years ago, living in a new city and not knowing anyone except those connected with the memory care facility my husband was in, I joined a 12 Step group. The program, fellowship, and spiritual connection I experienced there literally saved my life when my precious husband died 14 days before our 32nd anniversary in 2020. When I didn’t feel comfortable being physically around people, we connected in online meetings. I’m 81, and I’m only out and about everyday because I have community. I have Covid at the moment and have numerous friends checking on me and offering help.
Yes, find your peeps ❤
I am that guy on the stairs. I went to an outdoor concert last night by myself. There were thousands of people there but I never felt more alone.
Sorry you felt that, it's similar to disassociation. You can however recognize it when you feel like that and take some steps to make eye contact, and talk.
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Thanks for bringing attention to this. I live in the Rio Grande Valley-RGV, we are blessed w Community Classes in many towns where we lift weights, do cardio..etc...this has been a blessing and I've made new friends .
You mentioned getting out there, my husband and I go to local meatups, I have been to several Keto conferences, and we bowl 3 nights a week in leagues. Definitely fun, meeting new people, yet one can still feel lonely doing all of this at times. Love you two!!
I've always had a hard time translating work or church acquaintances into outside friendships. The church we go to now is 30 minutes from our house so that doesn't help either.
Great topic 👏
This video definitely hits home for me. I live in a very small town and I have a physical disability. I also don't have transportation at the moment. So, I am lonely most of the time. What really resonated with me is the whole thing about interaction even with a delivery driver. It's very frustrating for me when the delivery driver just drops the package on the ground and walks away. Sometimes they don't even bother to knock or ring the doorbell. It's frustrating for me, for two reasons. Firstly, it is difficult for me, being in a wheelchair, to pick stuff up off the ground, especially if it is heavy or very low to the ground. It's also frustrating to me because meeting the delivery person at the door is one of the few chances for human interaction I have these days, and like you said even just a smile or short chat can mean a lot to a person.
As an HR professional … it is a definite epidemic … and working remotely did not help anyone who was already feeling lonely. I just spoke with an employee today who has conversations with friends who work remotely and admit to her how lonely and isolated they feel. And yet all of them could choose to work on site and still choose to work remotely. It’s an interesting topic that is in need of a solution.
Great topic!
Great topic 👍
Thank you for this discussion.
Love you both! Excellent topic!
🥰 Love it ! THANKS for all the encouragement ❤
Excellent talk!
Sarah, loving hearing you talk more. The fact that you and Emily work so hard to help others is amazing. I’m 74 ( till next week haha) and my family keep me active. They’re here most weekends and I do think durning the week to help them out.
Thank you so much for sharing this!
When i retired i suddenly felt this. You go from seeing a hundred faces a day to just one. I joined a 55 plus exercise group. It was a bit scary going on my own but thankfully these people were welcoming. Now these people are my friends. You have to get out there which isnt easy for everyone.
Yes, absolutely I'd love to hear the two of you discuss other topics like this! I value what you have to say and after all, just like the keto journey, it's helping people, other topics can be helpful as well.
Now as far as loneliness goes, I became a widow in 2009 and very soon afterwards his family began to be non-existent in my life. His family was the only family I had as I am the last person in my family still alive. It was very hard for me for many years. It was like suffering multiple deaths. It wasn't that there was fighting going on, it was just that everyone had their own lives and the challenges that go with life and they forgot about me. I was stepmom so I wasn't important. I really struggled for years. Now it's 2024 and I'm 65 and I've come to a place that I've let go of them. If they call to check on me I'll talk and be happy to hear from them, but if they don't it's their loss not mine. I have a very few friends that I care to stay in touch with. I've literally come to the conclusion that I am not desperate enough for relationships that I'm gonna chase after people. I actually see people in person rarely. Most of my communication with friends is phone, text and email. Occasionally we get together for coffee. They are all married and have families so I get it. So I have my two cats and live a peaceful life. After hearing the trauma of my friends lives with their kids and grandkids, I'm actually glad sometimes that I'm alone. It's easier for me to pray for my friends and their families than it was to go through all that I did with four step kids and 11 grand kids, who in the end didn't appreciate me anyway.
Excellent topic. Especially now for so many working from home. Retirees too. I find that hobbies are so helpful.
Love this video. Thank you. Other ideas I used when I moved cities: Church groups are wonderful places to meet people. Also, exercise classes ( I do Senior exercise classes ) and libraries have book clubs.
YES!! I am always the planner, the organizer, the one that starts things. It can get overwhelming. Our group is working hard to get everyone involved. We have only been going 3 months but we are making connections!
great topic. the community garden thing really is a sweet joyful therapy.
I have had four back surgeries, and need more. I have been housebound for four years. I do go to stores occasionally, but I'm also an empath, and feel everything in extreme. I'm hoping to be healed enough to get to a normal routine/life.
I loveeee you guys keto channel and i have just subscribed to this one and this video topic is definitely a real issue and it’s something everyone feels on a level.
This was great! Thank you for bringing this to this amazing, awesome, loving community. 💋💋
It’s amazing that people are so uncaring. Not even my relatives care. Nobody EVER calls or emails me. How hard is it to send a little note?
This started with the mandate of Covid. A lot of people did not recover from the forced seclusion. Then, with a lot of people working from home and losing connections with coworkers, it exacerbated the situation. I see many of these kids ordering take out way too often, avoiding going out. Good advice for reconnecting with people.❤
Sarah, your hair is FIRE!!!!
Thank you!!
Great topic gals... I'm always mindful of something someone told me many years ago when I was training to work in a crisis /suicide hotline- being alone can be a good thing... but the worst perhaps is being lonely while standing in a crowded room... it gnaws at the soul...
The pandemic took us as a society that was drifting towards a heavier social influence of social media platforms... to for many, throwing us into a total social life of online media platforms- your podcast is important because you are giving ways for people to remember how to re -enter the social lifestyles we came from. Thank you taking the initiative to open the subject.
Hello Love your channel, watch you both all the time. Seven years ago the hospital that I worked at closed. I so miss all my co-workers and friends that I made there and patients that I took care of. I was so depressed and lonely and after 2 months of sitting at home I started doing homecare, not the same but it was something to do 3 times aweek. It makes me get up and go and have a purpose in live.
Great topic. Thanks for talking about this important topic.
Social Media has kept me extremely social and allowed me to connect/reconnect with friends I wouldn't have otherwise.
There's a difference between social media where you mostly talk to strangers (like youtube!) and sites/apps where you talk to people you know, like the way facebook used to be, they way discord and instagram have the potential to be
Such an important topic, thank you guys. Today’s my birthday and brings feelings of loneliness with it. I just turned 71, but my sister and I decided to shave off a year or two, so today I turned 68 … and will be for the foreseeable future. I’m going through something similar as you two with the stress of your dad’s decline. And it’s really showing up in my keto flying off the rails all too often. 😵💫 My husband has a lung disease and since retiring, too, he’s in mental decline. So I try to keep us busy and engaged as often as he can. As you know, it’s complicated. At the heart of his issues and my issues is a loneliness that is only alleviated by engagement with family and friends. So appreciate your video. Vital reminders for all of us in your community. Thank you, as always. 💕
PLEASE DO The rice experiment! It really will bring awareness to what being lonely or ignored will do and how powerful words can be.
Got it. You girls are great,this shows that you care about the complete person. May God bless you both and keep you healthy and safe
Great topic🎉🎉
Thank you for this conversation! I don’t feel so alone just reading the comments 😂 I resonated with so many of the comments! It’s certainly a different world from when I grew up (I’m 56)
Before the pandemic I went to about 7 different churches to have them visit/call my elderly disabled mother. None of those hypocrites would bother.
I have a suggestion, I’d love to hear your minds on the matter of dealing with clothing issues while losing weight. I know there are online options for buying thrift clothes. I think we need to explore this because it’s a part of eating keto that I never anticipated. I’ve used hair ties to hold my bottoms up and Bobbi pins to pull tuck my tops where needed. And where would I be without safety pins and yes EVEN duck tape (it’s nit just for men 😆). Any better ideas? I do sew yet I can’t keep up don’t want a bunch of elastic pants. If you have better ideas please share!
Most of my clothes are thrifted! Thredup is a good online option, but gotta be weary since every brand has different sizing. Thats a good suggestion for a video :) thanks!
I wore a lot of sweatpants or shorts with a drawstring! I was a 26 but am wearing a 7 now. I have large breasts so finding tops has always been my problem. They hang on my arms but bust at the top 🥴