Does My Ex Want Me To Contact Them?
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 27 ก.ค. 2024
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In this video, relationship expert, Coach Lee answers the question, "Does my ex want me to contact them?"
If your ex has been leaving clues that you interpret to mean that they want you to contact, text, call, or email them, should you do it if you want to get back together with them? Coach Lee answers and explains in this important video.
Videos Mentioned In This One:
Stages Your Ex Goes Through In No Contact: • Stages Ex Goes Through...
If You Love Someone, Let Them Go? • If You Love Someone, L...
Trust No Contact: • Trust No Contact
Will The No Contact Rule Work On A Stubborn Ex Or Spouse? • Will No Contact Rule W...
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I just want to say your videos have helped me so much. I can honestly say the no contact worked. My ex just contacted me earlier this week after 5 months of no contact. I really thought she was gone for good but she actually came back and we have talked and met with each other and now are back together and it's like we never missed a beat. I know we still have to keep working on it so this doesn't happen again and most importantly communicate. I just want everyone out there struggling to hold on and keep the faith cause believe me I had my doubts but it can happen that they come back I am living witness it can. Stay strong. Thanks coach Lee for the videos.
I'm happy to hear that for you. how long were you dating before the BU?
I myself am currently 3 months in of no contact. The first 2 was really hard, but it's gotten a lot easier. Without coming off as desperate or pathetic, I do wish the same thing would happen to me *praying hands*
Mordekaiser I’m going through the same thing we broke up a week ago and she is still viewing all my stuff on Snapchat sometimes she the first one too hope it work out bro❤️
@@Canizarezqw Thank so much. We were together like 5 and a half months. Not very long I know but we had tremendous chemistry and got along great and hardly argued which is why it was a surprise we broke up. Believe me I really struggled and started to really doubt she would come back but she really did. She told me she had been wanting to reach out but she was afraid of or wasn't sure what my reaction would be after all this time and really I felt the same way cause I wasn't sure what her reaction would be and plus both of us are stubborn lol. Ultimately she told me she broke up with me cause she thought I wasn't into her like she was with me which wasn't true. So basically it all came down to communication. We weren't communicating with each other about how we felt or if there were any concerns. Believe me I don't see you as desperate or pathetic. I was in the same boat as you. Keep the faith cause you never know things can change in an instant. If mine can come back to me after five months it's definitely possible for it to happen for you. I will pray for you that they will. Good luck my friend.
@@thehavoc6331 Hang in there and keep the faith. I didn't believe my ex would come back but she did even after 5 months so it can definitely happen. I will pray for you.
@@thehavoc6331sounds like a misunderstanding and communication issue which is what happened in my situation. I didn't wind up contacting her though which was hard believe me cause I wanted to real bad but I held my ground and it worked and she eventually reached out to me. I think her posting things about the break up is a good sign cause it means she probably still cares and cares about you. Obviously if she posted that on her Facebook she knew you would see it and wanted you to see it. Like coach Lee says you need to use no contact. I know that sucks but it worked for me and it might work for you
I've said this before, Silence is food for the subconscious, feed your exes subconscious, stay silent and let their subconscious do the reaching out
Love it...so much sense...as I know that the sub-concious is 80% negative redundant thoughts?!..
Thanks man..
Silence is golden...
can you explain this more? 😔
@@troyesivan7069 As hard as it is mate, don't reach out, don't contact them, that doesn't mean ignore them if they contact you. I can talk from experience, it worked for me. All the best 👍
S A how long before ur ex reached out? thank you.
@@troyesivan7069 10 months, but there were other factors involved, ( people in her ear ) otherwise it would've been sooner according to her.
It's almost a month now since we broke up, every day is hard but you have to learn not to want them. Do this for yourself. After all, if they're not doing anything to keep you, then why are you fighting to stay?
Caí Recto that so damn true love ...
Agree
Exactly! If they really want you then they have to be the one to reach out to you, especially if they were the one to break up with you. Coming back before that only hurts you and puts you at a disadvantage. They will not appreciate you as much as if they were the one to come to you.
You have no idea how much your comment helped me. It made me realize that I need to keep going for my own well being
Cal Recto, you are right!
I'm in this situation now this guy I been talking to went silent suddenly.We are not in a relationship haven't even met yet due to us living in different cities.Anyways but he's done this before and then texts me again when he isn't upset anymore.Very fickle and unpredictable behavior I did nothing to cause this.
It's a problem now and definitely more of a problem if we got in a relationship eventually.well I'm taking a break from this nonsense.If he wants to contact me he can if not it wasn't the right guy.I'm guessing he's going through a hard time family issues ect.but he hardly talked about it.
Anyways,I wish you the best and strength I hear you.I hope I can remain strong and not contact him first🙏✌🍀
NEVER EVER CONTACT THEM IF THEY BROKE UP WITH YOU. SILENCE! SILENCE! SILENCE!
@Blythe Girl no, if they broke up with you it's their responsibility to contact you.
What if they didn't break up with you, and it was a mutual pull back ?
what if i neglected her ..
@@GamerKidPlaysGames then u have to reach out please I assure u it's the right thing to do
@@GamerKidPlaysGames u see I dumped him because he started to ignore me a lot and seemed uninterested in our conversations so I just had enough and dumped him after a huge fight but I miss him so take my advice and never neglect her again if you get her back because one more blow and she'll be gone for good
Regardless what anyone says at the end of the day it all boils down to weather YOU FEEL your ex is worth fighting for or not
But how long should you be in no contact for
@@dnap2526 untill THEY reach out. Keep strong and work on yourself
If he's in a new relationship no I wouldn't want to get back with him
@@chantehowe7798 exactly , those ex's that jump into rebounds cannot love anyone and you should not fight for Them bc people that jump in a new relationship expose how they really are
my ex dumped me after she was going through job and her own family related issues
Even though I was there to support her.
And my ex did reached , but that's when I messed up
I showed her that I was still interested in her, so she told me she's not interested in a relationship and only wants to be friends
Ofcourse I declined the offer, but we did had few positive interaction after that
But since things were not moving fast, I started overthinking and I showed her how hurt I was after breakup. And I was afraid that she would told me to move on, so out of fear of her response I blocked.
But on the same day , I unblocked her because I knew I did something terrible in full of emotions and I really regret it.
I apologised to her multiple times, and told her what I did was not a true representation of me and I was just full of emotions and anxiety and messed up
She did forgave me , but told me "we're done" and there is no future for us
So I guess I only have to move on.
But there's a part of me , who still hopes and want her back
Because regardless of the ups and downs we had a good relationship
Even her friends and family liked me.
So I pray and hope our ex come back, because it would be shame to throw away such a beautiful bond
Watching your videos are like a mantra to get through a break up.
😏 yeap, so relieving
Haha, that's exactly what they are. They mayyyy come back for a few weeks or so but the exes are really gone forever. But each video gives you just a little hope to not get disappointed and just the right amount of hope to keep moving forward. That's the best way to get over it.
@@ekatime did you not have good luck with the no contact?
@@ekatime mm. 😂
@@2WOKE- I did. But she just wanted to hookup once without her new boyfriend knowing, lol.
But let’s not forget your advice that I followed in one of your previous no contact videos that went somewhere along the lines of this... “If you’ve waited the 2 months or so of no contact and you are still very much wanting them back it’s ok to reach out, because maybe they think you’ve moved on or maybe they think you’re mad at them or maybe they are having trouble mustering up the courage to reach out to you” And Coach Lee that’s exactly what I did and he was missing me and was happy that I reached out and we’ve been back together for about 6 months now, so I have you to thank for sticking with the no contact and helping me get my Ex back 🥰🙌🏻
Could you tell me how it’s going
I would let her come back. Or she see me weak
He hasn't contacted me yet
Radio silence of 2 months
What should I do ?
@@lifeisbeautiful3019 Same problem here haha
@@niklaskossmann3678 moving on is best dear 🥺😞
I’m trying my utmost 🙃
It's remarkable how they can change, the one moment they say they love you, you talk all day long like best friends, and then they tell you they wanna break up. As if everything was a lie. I dont know what to think anymore, trying to have my best life, and meet a lot of people. But something in me broke, I think for good, how can you ever show vulnerability to a person again if previously someone used you like that?
If they break up in a whim without a good reason, than why would you want that person back?
If they truly love you its not a game
When someone loves you they dont see your inperfections, and they Will Stay by your side
I feel your pain. My ex broke up with me 3 weeks ago out of the blue. It was a great relationship, 2.5 years and we'd been traveling a lot and doing romantic weekend breaks, normal couple stuff that we couldn't do during lockdown. She cried on the couch a week before the break up and said she was suffering from depression. I was see a she wasn't feeling the best from a while but not to this extent. I miss her so much but She has a lot of things to work through
@@timothymurray1236 what’s your plan going forward ? Have you reached out to her or simply strict No Contact?
@@carltondouglas4997 hi Carlton. She has a lot of her own stuff to work through at the moment I feel. She went home for the 1st time in 10 years, we both live in Ireland but she's from South America. We were texting back and forth while She was away and she even told me what she wanted for her birthday, I offered her a choice and she picked something for her garden, that was exactly 3 weeks before break up. She messaged me the day she was coming home saying she couldn't wait to see me, I was working so we had to wait another day to see each other. About a week after coming back to Ireland she got very bad and couldnt talk about her family, elderly grandparents who she was probably saying goodbye to as they are both ill. Very tough. She's also had some health issues too and wasn't feeling the best for a few months prior. Then out of the blue she told me she didn't love me and felt she'd been on a hedonistic path, ffs. I'm doing no contact now and will reach out in about 4/5 weeks as coach Lee recommends
@@carltondouglas4997 coach Lee said he thinks it's ok to reach out after about 2.5 months when you feel you have nothing to lose.
They want you to contact them because they want to feel like they've made the right but incase they didn't, they want to make sure you'll always be at their disposal
No truer words have ever been spoken….. “ What you want you pursue”
Amy Mitchell, I can recommend Coach Lee's Emergency Breakup Kit . It's terrific! It has strategies for every situation.
myexbackcoach.com/ebk
I will contact with my silence and my absence
If I wanted I will be chased
Do not reach out to your Ex, ever, I have learnt that the hard way.
Lum B. Explain further please
I did and just kept getting rejected which would put me back to square one and in pain. Now I'm trying minimal contact (no contact is impossible as we have kids). I will never reach out again. Ever.
I messed up and slept with my ex now hes being an ass
Michelle francis never
Same here...
The problem isn’t solely with the the ex. It’s the way we react to their behaviour.
It's been 40 days no contact. I get my power over and over again 💪😁
It's been 2 and half months since she broke up with me..... 1 month of no contact.. 😂 I stayed in contact with her for 1 and half months, I guess I've ruined my chances already.
Any updates?
Almost two years after break up, he called me and saying miss you. Hahaha I dont care
After two years!!! Gosh that's a long time!! Have you moved on already??@@ribkahutauruk6315
Ladies & gentlemen, your ex broke up with YOU, he or she made the mistake so THEY have to fix it. It's not your job to fix someone else's mistakes
Each day passes by and I'm more excited about my future, I'm getting my routine back, learning from past mistakes and what a good relationship actually looks like. I'm only 6 days in and starting to think I'd never take her back.
“They may want that ego stroke, they probably like hearing that you’re suffering without them” = No empathy, egotistical, and Narcissistic
.
If they want to see you in pain even after They broke up/divorced you, that’s a Red Flag right there. I’ve been dead to her for almost 9 months now after 8 years of being Married
.
True love is walking away quietly knowing you did everything to save what you had with your best friend and the love of your life yet you weren’t as valuable to them. Embrace it, it only makes you stronger.
Thomas Curiel 💯💯💯
Thomas Curiel Hi pal, glad to see you are staying strong. It’s now been just over over a year since my ex discarded me and have heard nothing except for a ‘ happy birthday’ on my fb wall. I’ve been doing so much research during this year into narcissistic personality disorder. now and only now, I have painfully realised I was dating a covert narcissist. Many of the traits, attitudes and behaviours described in various sources including many great youtube channels are parallel to my ex’s actions. Looking back, there were convert red flags which i ignored. I have noticed some coaches say things such as “ oh only a tiny % of people have NPD” and state their clients should not diagnose their ex’s as they are not professionals. However, I have realised this is foolish advice and is doing a great disservice to those of us who are suffering.
exactly, one hundo Thomas
I went against the grain and straight up called my ex a narc to her face which they say never to do but I said F it I am calling her out (I watched a bunch of youtube vids just like you guys and came to the covert narc conclusion). She reacted by first doing the laughing with tears emoji then two days later said I shouldn't ever say that to a girl bc that could drive them to suicide. As the days went by she slowly started warming up to me and at one point said she was still in love with me. Subsequently called me the following week and chatted me up for an hour twice only to disappear after she broke off a meet up. So yeah she is a narc fo sho!
My ex is a diagnosed narcissist. He also had some other diagnosed mental disorders. He'd be so sweet, and genuine at times, and then be emotionally abusive. I talked to him about it multiple times and when I finally realized staying wasn't going to "fix" it. I spoke to him honestly and openly telling him I felt it was time for me to move on and see other people. Not because I wasn't in love with him, but because he didn't have the kind of love I need. His response was "your dead to me now". Ive been treated poorly by narcissists multiple times, but that could possibly be the most hateful thing anyone's ever said to me. So, I told him I loved him, and I was sorry for all the ways I hadn't made him feel loved. Then blocked him. As I read what you just shared I felt it on every level. I am so sorry for the pain you have felt. I'm hoping and praying you find healing, peace, contentment, and true love. Thank you for sharing and allowing us to relate. Sometimes people can make you feel so alone in the world. It's nice to know we're not. 😊
When they leave you, Just do your best to forget them. No contact and let them be. As long as you gave them your all and you showed nothing but love towards him/her, Believe me, They won't forget you and they'll come back, and once they do they are at your mercy. Just be careful when they do come back because you don't know is they're coming back for genuine love or to just use you again. Take it slow.
Is six months of nc to long to wait .. that what dealing now loosing hope everyday
Yes they do! Mine broke up with me and after 6 months of no contact she started posting status updates on my WhatsApp which she never did when we were together, because.....why would she? We were together. I knew what her status was already. Lol Anyway, they were random pictures that no one else would have related to other than her and I. I knew what she was doing. I foolishly got lulled into it thinking she was reaching out and played along adding some pics and other things to reciprocate until just a bit of texting finally came to fruition when she started sending some hot lips emojis my way. I was the last one to text her she was on my mind. Guess what? Crickets from her end. It was all a cruel ruse to stroke her ego. Once she got the ego stroke, she disappeared like a fart in the wind. DON"T FALL FOR IT PEOPLE!!! Don't fall for the old "I've been thinking of you" line either. Thinking of you is not the same as being with you. Talk is cheap, observe their actions. Thats the difference, Best of luck...
3 months already of NC. Feeling strong and so over her right now.... even if she doesn't come back crawling I have improved myself and I'm already meeting new people :D
Coach Lee is so handsome like if y'all agree 💓
He's the best!!!!!!! and his eye's are so beautiful!!!!💕
Tell it to your children’s children 🤣😂😂😂 made me laugh during my sorrow stage. You’re helping me so much!
Seems best to just let No Contact run it’s course. More so to get yourself feelin better and stronger about life than keeping tabs on them. Stroking their ego does you no favors. Screw that. Maybe they’ll come around. Maybe they won’t. You gotta stay upright and move forward though.
I get the feeling my ex couldn't give a care about whether or not I contact them. She's done with me. Indifference is the worst.
Good you know that now you can move on.
There’s always hope. Just keep a positive state of mind and do what you think is best. You have a positive state of mind you will have a lot of positive results. No one is to tell you if you should move on or not. Only time will tell. I hope everything gets well and you have really great outcomes.
I’m honestly so sad I miss him so much. He broke up with me a little over a week ago. I just want to talk to him so badly. Maybe he misses me maybe he doesn’t :,( I have been trying to stay strong and move on for myself but my heart still wants him
@@selinashiny6343 did he come back?
At least ur not paying child support lol
My ex contacted me 12 months later right on what would've been our anniversary of dating and the beginning our relationship. Just to ask me to meet him for coffee. He can piss off to his own little "Polly Anna World" 😂😆
My ex told me that she filed for divorce because she wanted to give me my freedom. My freedom? Was I in prison? I am standing my ground with no contact....Thanks Coach Lee....it sucks that our anniversary is on the 12th, and Christmas around the corner too....
This doesn’t relate to the subject but your new hair looks great 👍
Lol I agree. His ex is getting attracted to him again with the change LMAO😂😂😂
😁😊
It really is. Dare I say it's hot?
Mesmerizing 😊
When time pass on, you realized that the reason they broke up with you go down to attraction. It is hard for us as dumpees to accept it in the beginning, and we are probably 100% sure they love us and they are attracted to us. The reality is different, and as Coach Lee said, in most most cases it is attraction. I know it is difficult to hear, I know it is unfair by the dumpers, and I know for real they will taste the same medicine. Stay strong guys, and know your worth. I remember the time when my ex was very unattractive, and I never judged her, I just accepted her as she is. She improved herself a lot, while I go back due to depression and financila stresses. With time, she felt she is better and lost attraction to me. She dumped me without any guilt, and cut me as I was not part of her life for 6 years. She forgot when I taught her every single thing in life and took her hand through her life journey until she reached where she is now. Guys, accept the reality that human being is selfish by nature, take this as motivation and prove yourself. You are worthy!
what if its cause of argueing?
She was being truly selfish..it's inhumane how some people can behave.
How are you doing now?
@@skincarerainbow4950 I cannot say that I completely healed. While I feel that I don't love this girl anymore, I am still feeling the pain of humiliations and inhumane treatment. What hurts me the most they she broke up with me. We had 6 year relationship, she ended everything in matters of days. After 6 years together, she blocked me and I never heard from her again, not even a word! It was like a sudden death, that is why the pain was terrible.
@@skincarerainbow4950 Doesn't matter. Something similar happened with me. It is no wonder many people give up on dating altogether.
There are some ruthless unempathetic animals out there. And the worst part is that you can not tell them apart from the healthy people.
You are the best and most reasonable of all relationship experts I have seen out there.
This is the video I needed cus she posted that it’s crazy how someone you haven’t talked to in months is on your mind every day
Josh 456 like my post
thanks we are back together after 1 month
My ex said she ripped her heart apart for weeks deciding whether or not to leave, we had intoxicating chemistry and a really pure love… but respect fell, as I was hit with depression because of an injury ruined her attraction for me. I was so distracted fighting for myself that I didn’t see her pain - it was too much for her, even with the level of connection we had, I never thought we’d part ways.
I’m doing all the work, therapy and familiarising myself with my behaviours, self worth is back and shinny. I saw my ex at a dinner a week ago, her eyes were locked onto mine whenever Id turn her way, a little smile too. We had a quick chat at the end and she stood close and burned a hole through my skull with those green eyes… yeah, attraction seems to have regrown a bit, the chemistry is apparently still strong. We’re meeting up in a week or so, let’s do this.
Coach Lee is a blessing in the lives of all the broken hearted. So grateful to have found this channel
This is actually a completely unique take on the subject. Very intuitive, insightful and informative. Thanks Coach !
I haven't get over my ex, but I blocked him already. I don't wanna have anything to do with him anymore. I'm focusing on myself and on getting Fit and finding myself again. Still I watch your videos because they're interesting. Thank you
She actually blocked me and she broke up with me so since you still miss him do you think there's a chance she'll still contact me
"i remember watching your videos while having an axiety attack and did not expect to get a response from you"... i was not in the position of gettin a one on one coach but by getting that response have helped me... after in no contact for 5 months, yep, he again started to come back, the first time, he did the indirect direct approach, i responded casually and after that, he thought i would chase, then after few days, he already called like multiple times... in that 5 months, i have worked on myself so hard and focused on my job... guess what, i am already enjoying the silence and already realized that i dont want him back anymore... ❤ im finally free... 😊 thankyou coach...
Love how you break this stuff down. You truly are a genius in your field.
you're so handsome I'm beggining to forget my ex effortlessly
GEH
My wife left me with a lot of debt - not "her" debt - but when she left, I was left with the debt on the mortgage of our house and her half of the equity. She went just under 5½ years ago. I systematically set about paying all the debt off (mortgages and buying her half of the equity out). I paid off my mortage 7½ years earlier than was ever envisaged or planned on 30 December 2022. At that point I fellt free to walk through the door of the cage which had been left ajar since the end of 2017. I am entirely debt free and I no longer feel I owe her anything. Something changed in me on the day I made that very last overpayment. That was enough. I have paid enough in time and money for my mistakes in what was our relationship (no, it wasn't "all my fault" - but I faced up to all of mine, some of hers and I also didn't run away). We had kept casual lines open to talk with each other. But when I told her that I had paid the mortgage off entirely on 30/12/22 by posting a small announcement to say that I had managed to pay of my mortgage and had become entirely debt free too in so doing, she flipped in what she publicly posted to and about me (excoriating flaming) and unfriended me. C'est la vie.
Undoubtedly the last 6 years have hurt me and they have certainly slipped by as time taken out of my life which I may not all get back. But I own the house outright now and have no other debt at all. I have also learned to speak a 2nd foreign language from scratch and gotten my health back by cycling (which is effectively free once you have a bike) most nights. My estranged wife rents, drinks, smokes and has a weight and gambling problem (still). Sure - I've been on my own a long time but the tortoise always wins in the end. It is my turn. I have so much to offer someone else. I've paid. I really have and it is over. And as for no contact. I had reached that point on my own sometime back before the Queen died anyhow and had just ignored her (the wife) because I knew the end of the mortgage was coming and the time when I would be able to consider the time when I could look in the mirror and simply say I'd paid enough. And I have.
I was responsible fror allowing this woman into my life. It was my fault for allowing her to make me feel the way I used to. But I have owned the problem as my own from the time she left here and have gone about sorting my life out on my own. I have had no real help or support from anyone else. To get my health back, I cycle on my own, I read my language books on my own (though I do attend classes) because I really am going to have a verly long, deserved, damned good holiday and have foregone the nightclubs, pubs, shows and TV subscriptions to use every spare penny to pay off the debt. Well it's done now. I worked on me and now I am free. I have paid and I can walk away. The fact that my wife threw her rattle out of the pram and slagged me off for my achievements on reading an insignificant notice merely underlines and re-inforces my long time taken conclusion that what has happened is right for me as painful as it was. I will never go back - but I have forgiven her trespasses and now all I need to discover is where on earth do I go to show I am available to other suitors.
I have watched a dozen or so oof this fellow's films since coming across them - ironically since the start of 2023 - believe me when i say I really *DO NOT* want my ex back! That's enough! Enough! I have paid enough.
Woow! You’ve mentioned almost everything that my ex said during the breakup & it’s such an eye opener my jaw dropped. I was giving him excuses for the breakup for example “he was working on himself “ he also just got a new job! 🤦🏻♀️ I am just blown away by you. Thank you so very much for your knowledge in this! Excited to see what happens moving forward..
I don't know how many people are you helping every day all over the world. You are amazing, you are blessed to help the humanity.
Your material gets better and better, the videos really offer unique insight and comfort. You are very well spoken, compassionate and clearly have a lot of experience and knowledge in this field. Thanks for the effort and time you put into these videos. Definitely in my top 3 of online relationship coaches!
You just answered the question i was wondering about today 🙃 You are the best!
Man this guy is amazing, I really appreciate everything you say man, it really does make you think.
Watching these type of videos gives me the pep talk and encouragement I need to keep the focus on me
Paul Sell, I recommend Coach Lee's Emergency Breakup Kit. It's terrific, and it will help you.
myexbackcoach.com/ebk
Thank you Coach!
I’ve been watching your videos religiously and reading my Exes mean breakup texts to give me the strength NOT to reach out!
Definitely agree.. they want that EGO boost. It’s reflected in my recent exes conversations earlier in our relationship.
He’d boast of how he’d needed to get restraining order on one and how some still talk about him.
I vowed to myself that I WONT be one of them!
Your videos really help… thank you!🙏
Your new hairstyle looks good also a great video as always.
Watching your videos is like an everyday mantra for me😍 it is so comforting. Thank you so much for sharing your knowledge! ♥️
"what you want you pursue" sooooo true its plain and simple
Yup. I did a lot of things for my girl and her two kids. I always believed she would "get it", feel it. Nope, no pursuit, NO Interest - just using you until they find "better". The like the strokes, the adulation, the Warm Energy, the LOVE - but you find out you were just the backup plan, the Linus Security Blanket - until they could find someone who looks better on their Facebook Page.....
I understand people get attached to people and I’ve been there but when you take of the rose tinted glasses and ask yourself were you happy with that person the majority of the time you weren’t, it’s better to move on and find that person that is a good fit for you
One of the things that is so good about Coach Lee... He says "We" a lot. That tells me he is right there with me.
Its been 5 months since my wife of 10 years left. She left me February 19, we spoke for 9 minutes on February 21st. That was the last time we spoke. She messaged me about our home, about having an uncontested divorce. So mean. Spreading horrid lies, being so mean. So angry. I treated her like a queen, many witnesses saw this, including my daughter and son in law, and her sister. If I was so bad, why did her sister stay living with me?
She has since moved in with her affair partner. I messed up in the beginning, until I found Coach Lee's videos. During this 5 months I have been diagnosed with cancer and due to have an operation on the 27th.
I don't know if she knows, or if she ever cares. I have been in NC for 4 months. Still no contact from her.
I love her even all that has happened. It's been extremely difficult. I am trying. I have lost all hope in waiting for that reach out. I won't reach out to her, because I may not like the reaction or response. I'm trying. I keep seeing success stories wanting to be one of them... I am doing my best to trust in you Coach Lee...
I watch these everyday and I can say I’ve been strong behind these amazing videos 💚💛🧡
Dear Lee, you have no idea of how much I learn from your videos. Actually I can't stop watching them. Thank you so much. I'm in a long distance relationship and somehow everything you say its right on. The problem I have is he wants me to still call him and text him or see each other using WhatsApp or messenger like nothing happened...
I watched this video twice in a row. Its so therapeutic thanks!
Thank you so much for these invaluable videos, Coach Lee!!! They've really helped me get through a recent breakup and have brought me strength in this difficult, sad time. I'm trying your NC rule and hope he comes back eventually, or that I'll move on with more dignity.
note: I prefer the old format with the transparent banners along the bottom of the screen. The gray, flashing arrows are distracting to your msg.
i just bought emergency kit, and following the steps now. I don’t know what I want so far , but Coach Lee definitely gave me the calm thoughts.
Update?
I love your work. You are all about logic, that is why you are soooo convincing! Every little thing you say, it is so well explained with really reasonable arguments. I am impressed. My respects. And yes, great hairs ;)
I bow to the master coach of relationship problems.
No they don’t. They dumped you because they wanted to replace you in most cases. Don’t lift a finger to contact them since they thought they were too good for you when they dumped you.
If I can say anything that will help. It's that you need to listen to all of his videos. Hes right. Hes so right.
Stay strong and stay busy! ❤️❤️💯 Good video( they are all excellent)🌹
I find this video to be very reassuring in staying strong like many of your other videos. Thanks! :)
Everything you said is true. I’ve experienced it.. I ❤️ Coach Lee
I’m always shocked how dating is a covert jealousy thing. If I saw my ex with someone I’d give up.
17 yrs & not in love with me anymore. He feels nothing , I'm still here raising his son & seeing everything of our life together . This truly sucks
3 days of no contact and my ex sent me a couple of texts. They were very surface level questions but I am happy to see that this NC rule is working. Looking forward to see what happens next. 😊
3 years of no contact, and I’ve gone back and forth on it sometimes. I’ve gotten really close to breaking it at times, but I don’t regret it. I think it was very much for the better and I have been able to grow so much because of it.
Today I haven’t been in a slump at all and I saw her story and she’s sad. The way tables of have turned in only a lil while of no contact really gives me even more strength. She’s still gonna have to contact ME if she wants me back though😤🤝
You're literally the best! I find myself giving it a couple of days between texts more so now, and he's just not emotionally there. I get upset and start overthinking then I find myself wanting to send something bitter, and then I watch one of your videos and it gives me relief so I decide not to after watching this cause it's just going to make me look immature... It's just upsetting to know that he doesn't care at all when he was once so loving and caring in our relationship. Meh. Anyways, thanks for the videos Coach Lee!
Coach Lee has me all pumped up at 4 in the am!
It’s been around 180 days NC 😛✌️
Thank you again Coach Lee for your videos, you really are helping me through a tough breakup, whether that be working towards getting my ex back or keeping me on track to determine I come out of the transition a stronger and better person.
You say in your articles that the best thing to do is to “let your ex go and move on” during no contact - I understand that this is a bold statement, but is there any way you could do us a video or article explaining how you can take care of yourself and work toward this mindset during no contact so that no contact can become second nature and not something in the forefront of our minds?
I’m struggling to not become too obsessed with wanting to get my ex back and focus on becoming a better me.
Many thanks x
You've given me the answers. Thank you Coach for saving me from breaking contact😘
@@angelaportman9847 i dont believe in magic spells😄 sorry i cannot be your customer
Thank you so much Coach Lee for all your amazing videos. They have brought me so much peace and make me feel so much better about myself and the situation. I thought my ex wanted me to reach out and after watching this fantastic video, I now know he does but I most definitely won't be contacting him 💪 Thank you so much 💞
You have been such an encouragement! I'm chilling for now and fixing ME. If he returns, I'll be extremely happy...IF the same problems don't exist. But if he doesn't return, I will be a better person for the one who comes next. You said to "be the prize." Well, I will be the prize, either for him or for someone better. Thanks. You helped me find my sanity again. The tears have stopped.
Howd it go?
Coach lee nailed this video! My ex broke up with me 2 weeks ago because i felt like it was a one way relationship he didn’t want to come over to my house because I live with my mother smh ok he knew this when we got together and so what!! and i had a major surgery and he didn’t even come and see me or try and put in any effort I couldn’t drive for 4 weeks so you would think he would come and take some pressure off ya girl! NO!! and he basically told me “he’s just too busy with his company and taking care of his daughter and he has to work on himself and he’s still hurt from his last relationship”! To hear him say that I just felt I couldn’t even argue with him with the breakup and he knew that I didn’t argue with him we both cried but i let it go. A day after we broke up he text me abs said could he still help me write my paper for my class I said sure. So we kept in contact for a week after the official breakup. It was very weird to hear him talk to me like a student smh and then not hear from him at all. I told him Thankyou for the edits for my pager and i told him I’ll talk to him in due time. So I’m now 9 days into no contact. To hear coach lee say this!! I’m officially getting my strength back working on myself, because I believe i was the rebound relationship for him. So I’m in school, working on my photography, booking photo shoots, and getting my happiness back. I never looked at it as he wants me to contact him to strike his ego. But I believe made it easy for him when we first got together and I REFUSE TO SETTLE and make everything Convenient for him. He will take accountability and he always use to everyone wanting to go to him fir guidance and needing him because he’s intelligent but not I. 💪💪stay strong ladies and gentlemen we are worth everything and then taxes!!!
Yes I agree,scarcity is attractive 🙏✌
So many truths in this video, thank you Lee.
Thank you. 38 days no contact and needed this. Right on time. I registered your situation registered on a dating site and I've been there for only a week. 2 days ago he sent me a flirt and the next day he viewed my full profile. I know that he is thinking the emotional person I used to be will call him out on it so he will no where my emotions. The way I see it he knows that I really have accepted that I'm single and I'm looking into other options. He literally told me he feels like our love for each other can withstand anything and he doesn't think our breakup is permanent yet and still he decided to walk away. I'll be damned if I ever reach out to him when he made the decision to give up on us and walk away. And then we were supposedly reconciling and he sabotaged that that's what I went no contact and decided I had enough.
Coach I did a BIG mistake
I was succeeding in no contacto for month and a half
And this Saturday he texted me
“ yesterday I remember you and I missed you even I should not telling this “
And I was a little bit drunk and I reply “ I would lie if I said I don’t miss you “ and he replied. “I know “ I inflate his ego again
I messed it up 😡!!!!!!!!! Now I have to try again no contact one more time
Absolutely not a mistake
Keep in mind it was a text. It wasnt a mistake, a goof? Sorry , yes. Remember Lee did say to respond in kind, however with something like, Oh, hello, I hope you are well, then let it be. Now, my original thought. Its a text. He couldve meant I know with an arrogant swagger, as an ego booster, as yeah me too, I screwed up, etc. Thats the problem with texts, you never know what the person on the other side really meant by it.
Start the no contact all over again and don't get drunk!
There are times when I feel like all is lost and then I just watch one of your videos and I’m a believer in NC again! You’re getting me through this and words can’t describe how grateful I am for you! ❤️
The is the best video, it has helped me on 4 separate occasions so far. Thanks Coach Lee.
I listen to Coach Lee every day thank you
Im fresh... we broke up 5 days ago after almost 7 year ldr.. was sad.. relationship was great in general, no cheating, no hard argumenta ,no fights, a lot of good communication etc.overall we are both good people... and that happened..we broke up.. i am into no contact rule, and my heart is somehow broken... memories are killing me.. but i will stick with no contact rule no matter what. Thia videos are very helpful.thank you coach Lee :)
Hey Jelena, I feel you, I'm going though the exact same process. I hope after these months you've slowly started to heal. Sending light, love & positivity your way.
@@RandomInternetDude thank you.after 65 days ex texted me and we talked.. and issue now is covid19..borders are closed ..so we have conversation about future etc. And even now we are in contsct every day(like before)..> dont mind waiting but with a plan.. i was all those 65 days in NC... lets hope we will see each other soon.. 🍀
@@JelenaVecic024 did you make them jump through some hoops for hurting you
We are in yr 6
Life is almost perfect without her
Watching you videos just motivates me further! - So inspirational! 💡❤️ And I strongly believe it will help me move on quicker. Thank you Coach Lee!! 👍🏻😘
Hello Coach Lee, every time I feel anxious, I watch one of your videos and I feel better afterwards. 3 days NC starting the day we broke up ... 😨🖤 We live together but are on different schedules so it’s not so bad. Like most of your viewers, I am dying to send him a message. But then I thought, I owe it to myself not to cave in. I have slowly been moving out since we broke up. Thankfully, I have great support system (family and really great friends) helping me thru it all. 💗
Should I just move on after this letter?
In the past week while we’ve taken some time apart I’ve come to a few realizations and I have a better understanding of my feelings. I’ve been thinking a lot and did some soul searching. I want to write this all down in a letter so I can completely communicate what I’m feeling and thinking.
You’re a wonderful man and I appreciate how big your heart is and how sensitive you are. We had some really special moments together. I felt instantly safe with you and our connection felt natural and effortless. That night on the couch when we talked for hours and hours it felt like we were in our own little world and I wanted nothing more than to just be alone together laughing and connecting. I’ve never had that with a man before. You became my closest friend and confidante and I’m forever grateful for that. You taught me that I can open up and trust a straight white male, haha. But in all seriousness, I didn’t realize how rooted my issues with men were until I felt how much I could trust you and that you would understand me. I felt like you completely got me and you had the same sense of humor. You don’t know what you don’t have until you have it.
In your past email you apologized for the way you behaved but I also need to apologize. I wasn’t forthright with you about my feelings. I didn’t communicate properly. I’ve now realized that I hadn’t been feeling vested in this relationship since I went to Salt Lake. In Salt Lake you felt my distance emotionally and you were right. Yes I was busy, but I also was reminded of the independence I had before we started dating and fell back into old habits. The old habits being self consumed and not thinking of other peoples' feelings. I’m really bad at checking in with my loved ones, I do it with everyone, and my family complains about it. Being single for the past few years I’ve learned to become self sufficient to the point I won’t reach out to loved ones even when I need it. One of my issues is I’m afraid to burden people with my negative emotions and physical needs. Its a trait I learned from my father. It used to be one that I looked up to and tried to emulate. Now I see that that belief system is no longer serving me. I know I’m not a burden to my loved ones and its important for me to be vulnerable and lean on people I trust. I guess I’m afraid if I burden people too much they’ll leave me. I struggle with abandonment issues. This is probably where a lot of my anxiety comes from.
I also now see that our relationship was going into the codependent zone. A relationship pattern I’ve fallen into in the past. I spent too much time at your house and didn’t nurture the other relationships in my life. I think it eventually caused me to burn out on us. I wasn’t tending to my own life and taking care of my personal needs. I wasn’t investing in myself. Instead I would wait for you to get home from work. I was running away from my issues and responsibilities. I felt safe and happy at your place, which is a great thing until I took it an extreme. I made the situation into a comfortable cozy nest where I didn’t have to do anything but be with you. I shut myself off from reality.
To sum this up: I have trust issues with men, I’m afraid to burden my emotions with loved ones, and I go from extremes. Either I’m codependent or I’m so independent I shut out everything that’s not immediately in front of me and become very inconsiderate. There are other issues that I need to work on when it comes to my relationships with men and the crap I was handed down from my parents but I’m going to save all that for my therapist.
I hope this gives you a little bit of clarity on where I’m coming from. I just felt like our relationship moved so quickly and I didn’t have the chance to catch up with it.
But the point I want to say is that I need to be on my own. I’m really sad this didn’t work out for us. It was my fault too. I fell back into old toxic patterns because it felt good. It felt amazing to be with you. I was so happy in the beginning, you made me happy. We laughed so much. We had such a magical time together but I don’t see us going back to where we were. Unfortunately I don’t think I can get back to that place. I hope in the future we can be true friends but at this time I think we both need to heal from this and I need to focus on myself.
I know you’ll find the woman you were meant to be with. A woman you deserve and will make you happy and love you unconditionally. You deserve all the happiness in the world and I know you’ll make someone extremely happy. I wish you all the best and I know it’s coming to you because of the beautiful soul that you are. You are so lovable, kind, funny, thoughtful, and handsome inside and out.
Love always,
Cailan
This one is the best video covering the essence, the mechanics of No Contact. Although the subject line is about the ex's potential desire to hear from you, it however delves deeply and most accurately into the "circuitry" of No Contact.
You're the best, Coach Lee! 💜
Thank you coach Lee 🙏🏻
I watch your videos everyday and they give me strength and power.
Eva, I can recommend Coach Lee's Emergency Breakup Kit for you. I'm sure Ciach Lee would want you to have it.
myexbackcoach.com/ebk
The best channel of all time.
thank you for helping me get through this coach Lee ♥
He had his chance. He didn't want me, I cried, I begged until I woke up. I'm in no contact for almost a year. Can't go back. It didn't work, why would it work now. The grass will be always greener on the other side. Remember you're the Diamond. Lol
@@chuksbryt8935 After a year of no contact he called me under a private Number. I answered because I didn't know who it was so I answered it. He hoovered me and I fell for it. It lasted until Feb 4th. he told me he's not coming back (he's in Seattle) jobwise. So I cut it off and went NC. This been going on for almost 6 years. He was in a rebound he told me and I can't over come that. I love him but the only way I would take him back if he would commit but I don't trust him. He told me he'll never forget me. So I don't know what to do. How much would it be for a spell?. I really don't know if I wanna do that. Thank you. anyway's
This is probably the best vid from Coach Lee.
coach Lee. ..ur suggestions are really based on our lives. . I have watched many coaches videos. ..but u are so confident and experienced that u really touched my heart and mind.
Thank you for this video. Today marks 45 days no contact. I’ve started to really doubt no contact recently. But watching this video was an encouragement. While yes, I would love to talk to him, I can’t reach out because the desire for him to talk to me isn’t high enough because he hasn’t reached out. I keep telling myself to focus on me and my goals and not to focus on what he’s doing. Not always successful but I’m trying😩
Did he contact you yet?
Any update?
Update
How's it going?
I'm a month out of no contact although I have been social pouting due to just dealing with feelings of depression and getting through difficult times as I am barely a year out of a 10 year relationship and barely back in October I started talking/dating a guy who I fell for really badly and initially I pulled back because I felt that he didn't have time for me and I felt like I was chasing and THEN he came after a week of not speaking and I wasn't sure what he really wanted from me so I kinda put every scenario on the table saying that I was cool with whatever since I know that I'm not ready for anything serious and according to him I was basically disrespecting myself by constantly trying to get him to be with me somehow. He did ask for me to back off and that MAYBE he'd reach out sometime in the future since he really liked me but that it was too intense at the time for him. I completely cut him off. I noticed after a while that he unfollowed on IG so I did the same and have pulled back on posting anything on FB....I want to try to go radio silent. The first month was heartbreaking especially when he didn't reach out during the holidays and my hope was to spend NYE together. So far he hasn't reached out. I'm not sure that I even want him back because the way he went about it was really hurtful and he broke my shower and never fixed it so he has those strikes against him too. I feel like I romanticized him bcuz of infatuation and what I felt wasn't even love but I feel like if we could just come BRUTALLY honest about what we want from each other that MAYBE we could have something really beautiful but now he's going to have to court me in ways he didn't back then. I made it WAAAAAAY to ease for him to be with me. I didn't value myself at the time as I thought it was just sex, but I KNOW that I'm such an amazing woman and that he's very lucky to have met me in the same way I was in meeting him. I'm doing better now that I'm not so obsessed with him. I'm healing but it's still day by day.
You're so helpful, I have no words..💖
The new haircut suits you.
Btw, love your videos.
Thank you Coach! Your Advice is always the best, and has Been very helpful.
Thank you sir, this makes perfect sense. Stay strong men
And women!
I keep waching this video whenever I feel the need of recontacting my ex D4 of no contact and now I m wondering do I really want to welcome back someone in my life who treated me that bad!
Thank you coach lee