I made that mistake with my business. I neglected my ex a lot in order to build my business up. She ended up leaving. The whole thing seems pointless now. Ambition, success, pointless without the person u love.
The truth is I don't need my ex anymore. I don't miss him anymore. I can live without him. It's been over 1 and a half year since the breakup. Time heals the wounds
Lol....and here I am feeling that vibe of I can live without her after been dumped by my ex gf...we were together for 4 good year. 😂 it's just 1 month since she broke up with me. I pray to God to heal my broken heart and it's all because of God's blessings.. my ex starting to reach me out since day before yesterday... I don't care if she come back or not. 😊
It’s been 4 months since me and my ex broke up. I thought my life was over and I prayed everyday that he would come back to me so the pain would stop, but I rarely think of him now. Sometimes love just isn’t enough to keep the relationship going. You have to have respect, communication and appreciation. Me and my ex had that until the very end. We both hugged and cried the day we broke up. We love each other but we just couldn’t get it right. Our relationship was so much different than either one us had before. We were best friends. We will always love and care for one another. It’s hard but it’s the best for both of us at this time.
I had a very similar experience the day he broke up with me. We cried and held each other, but in the end he asked me to leave. It has been two months. However I have seen him twice since (to get my stuff from his place). Both times the contact has been respectful and kind. I still hurt, and want him back in my life. You say that sometimes love just isn’t enough- I have not accepted that possibility. Maybe it is time,so I can fully let myself move forward... Coach Lee- thank you for these these videos. Your voice has got me through this darkness
tiina mettala I know exactly how you feel. At 2 months I couldn’t even think about life without him. I broke and reached out. He was super nice and respectful but said he needed his time to heal and I told him I respected that and I have followed no contact since because I realized I needed to heal as well. There are days where I still want him apart of my life. It’s best to remember why you two went your separate ways and always keep no contact. If he changes his mind you will be the first to know. I always have believed that if two people are meant to be they will find their way back.
my ex gf broke up with me but had a hard time that her anxiousness hurt her tummy and cried, i did a mistake of trying to make her change her mind which is a big no. its been 3.5 months since..... i was thinking of apologizing to her for not respecting her decision sometime in 2020 maybe. she tried to text me the next day and a pic of her bro since it was his birthday but i ignored it, i felt insulted, haven't said anything to her since.
hanna thank you for sharing your story. My bf broke up with me a week ago. The main reason is bc we skipped the friendship part in the beginning and things moved too fast that he was sacred to love & give me more, which is because he has relationships problem with ppl(he grew up in an horrible/abusive family). And we fight about his ex issue a lot, bc of my insecurity, he thinks I want too much love from him right now that he can not afford. We both have problems, I was too insecure and he regrets that he talked about his ex a lot& he was too careless and have emotional problem. I feel like maybe break up rn is a right thing, maybe only time can solve these problems. But I still really want him back, I think he still loves me but he’s also forcing himself to give up and let go. What can I do??i am so lost.
My ex literally told me that he loved me (while he was breaking up with me) but he doesn’t see a future with me, even though a couple months ago he was planning our whole future
Yes. It happens. I did that to a nice guy once. It felt terrible. I cared about him and worried about him. But I had to leave him. I could see no future with him.
Coach thank you. I followed everything you said about no contact. I started no contact Sept 26, 2019 and he reached out November 30th saying he missed me and couldn't stop thinking about me. To be completely honest when I started no contact I was hoping for us to get back together even though he broke my heart and told me he no longer had feelings for me because he fell for another girl. He was chasing after a girl who wasnt even interested in him. After the breakup I took a trip to korea for 3 weeks and it helped me clear my mind and when I returned I realized how dumb I was for hoping that he reach out and I just didnt care anymore and moved on. When he reached out I told him i was done and have moved on 🤷♀️ so it really does work!
Whoa, I would NEVER ever go back to a person who emotionally cheated on me - dumped me for another person because they thought they could "do better". Happy for you that you did the right thing!
Some days are really tough and I'm compelled to reach out but then I watch some of these videos and they bring me back to me senses. Update: ex reached out after 48 days, started texting, today he called several times then BROUGHT AN ABANDONED KITTEN he found downtown over to my place. I was very thrown off by the kitten so all the plans of "keeping my cool" when we met again kinda went out the window. I acted pretty frazzled and hopefully didn't mess things up.
@@StepOver420 I screwed up my first NC attempt big time but buckled down and tried again. My ex finally contacted me after nearly 50 days on NC! Said he thinks about me a lot and misses me. This time I'm doing exactly as coach Lee says even if it feels counter intuitive. My ex is continuing to text and I'm being polite, friendly and letting him lead the interactions.
MARCVS LICINIVS CRASSVS no i was to nervous to even talk to her. But after 8 months she reacht out thrue fb messenger but along these months she tryid to break no contact in all ways and than decided to reach out and do confusing stuff. We are coworkers so every day she does a lite move bc she is so afraid of my persona, due to her mistakes and the new one i become. I know she still loves me.
I’m at just the beginning, yes I’m hurting bad, I am following his advice all the way. I’m thinking this was a good thing for us so that we will be even better, it was not an ugly break up at all so I know deep in my heart we will make it!
you don't know this but you have been my coach and my strength i listened to others and they don't make sense i did everything YOU guided me thru and it WORKED everybody who reads this comment listen to me... Coach Lee is the REAL DEAL!!!!
Totally,, but when I realized that, I just left, he pursued but when he didn't get it from me he created a situation which I later found out that I was dealing with a convert narcissist and he had lost supply from me, I cut him off completely without even confronting him and that is eating me up with anger,,, right now I don't know what his thinking because he has left me alone,
Once you know they want to string you along, that's the best closure you can get! It may be hard, but continue NC and start dating again. When you start meeting new people, everything about you resonates confidence; that's when your ex senses you've moved on and tries to come back..if you enjoy table turning then you know what to do
@@olmanclifford218 well good luck because the “good” are far and few between! Remember the corrupt and selfish world that we live in, and also it takes a long long time to get to know someone
Coach Lee: I just wanna say thank you for these videos you have uploaded to TH-cam. I think I speak for a lot of people here by saying that whether we REALLY want our Exs back or not, your perspective into human nature and above all; your adamant stand that we have self worth is incredibly valueable and appreciated. You are helping hundreds if not thousands of people to feel at ease during a dark period of their life. Thanks for that, much love Kasper Friberg
Yeah why not for getting involved in your life and asking me forever? While at the same time not ? They don't really help your giving them a ride. We want to make this a business? I don't want your friends in my life.
This is the best breakup Chanel. This man has a way of taking his time to make us feel better and give us just enough hope to go on without giving us unrealistic expectations.
It's like God put coach Lee in front of me for a reason. Thank you coach Lee for opening my eyes and helping me see through this breakup. You're golden!
It really truly does. I've been through a number of breakups but none hurt like this one. We were right for each other and so in love with each other like I've never had before. Even during the breakup. I've never been this much of a mess over an ex.
Hello Coach lee i need your advise my setuation now what i can im just had breaking up 3weeks ago with my LDR bf..the problem is he got a gf after he breaking up with me..but he said we can still be communicate weekdays as friends and he willing to support me anytime but he said during week end he did not talk to me its because he will be in the house of the girl stay..i need your advise coach..please help what i can do..Im suffering the pain of our break up.
@@lilyperez299 Do NOT help your ex through the break up, and do NOT offer him a friendship. First of all, this will harm you a lot. You will always have that other girl in your mind and feel inadequate. Your ex wants the benefit of having you without any responsibilities. When he decided to lose you, he must lose ALL of you, and feel the consequence of his decision. Do not contact him, at all. As the other girl goes, monkeybranching - switching from one partner to another is a very severe case of a rebound relationship. The chance that it fails is very high. ANY action on your part will just give that relationship a justification. Silence is golden. Coach Lee is solid, but I disagree with his approach of reaching out after a few months. It should be your ex who does this. I strongly recommend you to watch videos by Rory from the channel "The Love Chat" and "Dating Guy" here on TH-cam.
@@wildanS how i can do that not to contact we already sometimes talking a lot and now he calling me first and he told me that his rebound relationship was very angry of him this time ita because he forget his t shirt in the house of the girl then that t shirt is my gift for him on his birthday and i put my name inside the tshirt and the girl was show my name out there and she getting agry with my ex..everything will happening for them they will share to me the story..if have chance soon he will come back to me?
Where on earth can we find likeminded people who are willing to experience different facets of life without letting the difficulties get in the way is the relationship. Gosh.
My ex broke up with me. I chased her. We go out but then I realized I'am doing the wrong thing. We've been together for almost 10 years. She said she's always there for me but I cut off all the ties with her and finally decided to go on with my life. Yes, it give me chills down my spine the times I think about her but I try to shake it off my mind. Now I'm still struggling. I'm still hoping but not so much. Just pray. If they really love they'll come back. But never do the no contact rule expecting a 100% chance to be in the same grounds again. Go on, live life. Life is too short to be in pain.
I think it would be helpful if you made some more videos talking about “unnecessary” breakups like the person leaving because of their career choice or school.
Thats my break up career choice I couldn't accept my girl wanting to switch careers and become a massage therapist I wasnt comfortable wit that proffession
No matter why u break up, a breakup is a breakup, just move on. If fate should bring your ex back, it's good. If not, you still got a bright future ahead of you.
You’re giving me just what I need Coach. God lead me to your page, and I’m trying my best to stay strong. Thank you for these free videos. There’s so much value in them. Yet you let us learn for free. Shows how much you care. (:
Your new look suits you! Aside from that, I applaud you mentioning that having an education and career is important, but it should serve to support "having a good life with people you love". Many people forget that and turn things around.
Coach lee is our guiding angel. There will be days where it hurts like hell, i’ve learnt to close my eyes and just let all the emotions flow and just accept them, i promise you will feel better after. Next, stop the imaginary future life you thought you’d have, it’s just the best version possible of what you could possibly want, not what reality will serve. Finally, you have to really, and i mean REALLY, ask yourself, if someone can so easily leave you, is this someone you want to be with? Forget ego here, but if they can’t work through the difficult times, why should they deserve you at your best?
When my ex dumped me she said " I will always love you but I'm not in love with you any more." This hurt me to the core and had me puzzled but I can understand now
Yes this is me. I broke my own heart leaving someone who was emotionally unavailable who I was very much in love with but couldn't take the absence/distance any longer.....it hurts like hell but I got to remind myself not to waste my love and feelings on someone who cant/won't feel.....I did it out of respect to myself because I want a loving connection with my partner not a cold robotic shell who as soon as he gets close pulls away back into his shell again....so yes we can truly love you with everything in us but will do it from afar because we know we deserve better....my heart just breaks for him cause he's never gonna know real love xo
So true, some are emotionally damaged. I had amazing sexual intimacy with one man for 23-24 years but yet the emotionally unavailable man told me that that guy was lying and pretending. He has never experienced it for self, it’s very sad. He said he want to be a whore, a 56 year old man whore! WTFE, from the lazy boy rocker half dead from working...oh yes.
I had the similar experience as you with a guy with dismissive avoidant attachment (how it calls). These kind of broken and traumatized people shouldn't even approach the dating scene until they get fixed by professionals. I felt used and empty. It was such a waste of time and energy.
The timing is critical! Powerful end of the video! Thank you, Coach Lee! I’m trying to hang in there, without going into despair that days pass by and no sign from him whatsoever. I’m holding on to No Contact with both hands 😁 if I break NC I’ll just ruin things and go back to square 1 so I keep reminding myself it’s the best thing that I can do...actually the only thing that can increase my chances of getting back together :)
Age gap! Long distance. Extrovert and introvert. We tried. I’m the older one and I think we were in love. Now it’s NC. There was nothing I could have done when she started conservatoire. I know I’ll love her as soon as I see her again. It was so intense but so enriching and so natural.
You nailed it coach. He left me telling me he loved me much. It was absolutely sincere. He didn’t see a future together because our desires for a family are not the same timing. He was crying, not sleeping for an entire week then. But he keeps not talking to me from then. He even told me he would regret his decision.
@@preetyrahman7512 still nothing. I have good clue he stalks me on WhatsApp and watched my IG stories but nothing else. I am in an new relationship (still think about him)
NGL, I just had a rebound HU, and I was not interested in the slightest. I literally wanted to leave the date and go home. Then later on, during you know what, I literally wanted to cry afterwards and leave immediately. There was a part of me that felt detached from my EX GF, but I need to see her again to see if I do still feel the love. I DO want to love, and I want to be loved. But at this moment, I feel incapable of loving, whether that be my ex gf or any other woman.
Don’t reach out ever to the dumper. Move on with your life. If they call you great. If they don’t great. It’s one of the hardest things you will ever have to do. It’s even harder if you were anxiously attached.
I have a friend his wife is an alcoholic in and out of rehab he paid 10 of thousands of dollars and still stayed with her, not leaving her side. IF the roles were reversed and he was the alcoholic SHE WOULD HAVE LEFT HIM ALONG TIME AGO. Women are less forgiven and think with emotion instead of their brain .
Love your hair coach Lee! P.S. I wrote you on your Instagram, but then two days later, my ex came back lol thanks for all of your amazing videos! I appreciate you! Your videos always help! ♥️♥️♥️♥️
He's right- when you casually mention something that reminds you of them to them, it works! I have a unique name and after a long period of no contact, my ex told me he thought of me when he got a new client with a similar yet more popular name and wondered how i was doing. Now we are permanently broken up, but every-frickin-time I see or hear that name I remember my ex. 😩😩😩
This message is so spot on my GF broke up with me once she moved away for her career . She moved to FL I live in Chicago , she led me to believe that we would still have a future after her move we agreed on doing the long distance thing temporarily until I decide to move (which I was going too) . Soon as she moved she became really distant & cold I was so confused and hurt by her behavior I confronted her about it and she got really defensive saying that she didn’t deserve to be out there alone that I should have been the one to move with her, when In fact she seemed understanding that I couldn’t move right away because of my job and lease on the apartment . I’m 44 days in no contact and it still hurts but I’m staying strong , I been reading a lot, going to the gym 5-6 days a week and really working on myself . I hope it hits her one day that she lost a good man I never cheated on her or abused her . I’m starting to gain clarity and even see she was possibly a Narcissist to just ghost me like this . She said she still loves me and even cried before she left saying how much she’s gonna miss me I just don’t understand how we got here. We were together 3 years I was gonna purpose to her when I moved there .
@@reneesimmons1890 it’s going on 2 years no contact . She hasn’t reached out nor have I contacted her . I’m 100% healed from the heart break . Doing better then ever :)
@@ricasso777 I am so glad to hear this!! Mine moved to Florida 10 months ago giving me hot cold. Finally on July 4 he told me “I love you, not in love with you and I don’t see a future with you. This happened when he just asked me on a cruise in the beginning of July! I am going 100 percent no contact. I can’t believe he is this person now when we were so in love. I am so glad you are healed.
Old video but I've listened to so many of yours, and it's the first time - that I've noticed anyway - you mention the 2.5 month time so clearly as a way to break NC with a simple "fond memory passing comment" message, not asking for any response. Brilliant. I love the explanation, the reasonong, and let's face it, at one point, we, the dumped person, want to move on. Getting the ex back is great. Yet so is clarity, whatever that leads to.
Just got dumped a little while ago. The relationship wasn’t super long, but we just fit together so well that it seemed perfect. I was worried he needed more from our relationship than long distance could provide, and sadly I was right. Don’t know if it would b right to get back together again, considering we’ve both got years of separate schooling ahead of us, but these videos really help me get a better understanding of what happened and how both parties felt. I hope he’s doing well.
Probably... They may love you but simply see no future with you eg because you have a difficult personality or incompatible temperament with them. Very sad but there is little you can do about it. Just accept it and try to find someone who can cope with you as you are. This will often be a problem for artistic types who are oftenvery Moody and chargeable, always going on on a new tangent, exploring, experimenting etc. It drives some poor steady types insane because they crave peace and stability whilst the creatives crave newness, excitement, life, freshness etc.Something that just blows them away, emotionally. They break a few rules and push the limits to get this. Which other types find emotionally distressing and hard to understand. But two creative types will tune into each other emotionally and can communicate without uttering a word and even accept the other telling them to stop certain behaviours because it's getting a bit too excessive, dangerous, out of line etc. The sad part is that these incompatible personality types seem to need and crave each other, despite driving each other crazy. It takes a lot of patience and understanding to make such intense attractions work. When they do work, it is great. But when they fail, it is disastrous.
VERY TRUE, my mom took my ex aside and talked to him, i was 17, he was 22, i have no idea what she said. he was actually fine after so i never asked i still got roses and lots of love. ive moved on and so he, i think it was a nationality issue. i wouldve left my parents in a minute to live with him after high school. but he found someone with the same nationality, (only figuring this out now). saying the right thing at the right time works
Hi Coach Lee, after listening to this video, it brought back memories of me losing 5 friends, MY FAULT, for not listening to them. They all told my that they did not like my ex bcse he was USING me..I became so angry with them that I refused to associate with them. WOW, they were soooo right since he never had any intentions of getting married, and I was devastated. 2 yrs went by, and to make a long story, I called my friends to tell them that they were so right about him. Sadly, 3 of my dear friends passed away, and the other 2 re-located & I can't locate them. See Coach Lee, I couldn't see that my ex was only using me. I got over him in over a year, but I will never forget my friends. Every night before I go to sleep, I say a prayer for them and I always say, THANK YOU FOR TRYING TO HELP ME. I LOVE YOU.
my ex broke up with me saying that I was the love of his life, that he loved me more than anything and that we'll hopefully find our way back to each other but He stated that he had a dream to achieve (join the army), and only one opportunity to do so, he wouldn't bear messing his one and only chance, so he gave up on me... (he didn't want to hurt me by putting me aside). I still hope that he'll came back , but i'm not WAITING for him. What's more important is that I'm finding myself again, I'm loving life again. I never had that much projects and goals going on. Your videos help me to hang on and focus on myself. Thank you
That Ex Narcissistic POS better not come anyway near me!!! 33yrs of my life WASTED!!! Love had nothing to do with it!!! ( l thought it was love)! Boy was l wrong!!
Coach Lee, out of all your videos, this one which I thought was the least likely scenario that fit my situation was the most helpful! Thank you for sharing your knowledge!
I dated my ex in Japan the last 3.5 years. We were talking about marriage and children but I never officially proposed to her. I told her for over a year I would leave in August to move back to America to work for a couple months as a refresher. (living as a foreigner can become bothersome in a homogeneous society), and asked if long distance was okay and if she would want to move to America with me. She always told me it was okay. I told her I would also return to Japan in a couple months to be with her if she changed her mind. 3 days before I move out of my apartment in Japan, she breaks up with me. I knew she still loved me but she said she had to move on from me and could not wait anymore. I spent the next week before leaving the country trying to convince her to change her mind but it didnt work. Immediately after I left, her parents planned to introduce her to another guy for her to get married to only two weeks after I left. I plead for her to not meet the guy but she said it would make her parents happy and met him anyways. They met and he told her they would get married after their first weekend meeting. Her parents groomed him to move quickly. She said she still loved me but because of her family, me choosing to leave Japan, and stability she had to move on from me and do whats best for her. Badly for me I always felt I could not do no contact in this situation because the same situation happened to her sister, and her sister is in an unhappy arranged marriage as well. (she dated a Korean guy 5 years, then broke up with him and married a Japanese guy introduced by her parents as well.) The longest no contact i could do was 3 weeks. We were conversing positively but she always refused to change her mind because her parents are happy about the relationship, but she isn't. I tell her to choose her happiness with me, but she says that now that she is 30 years old, marriage is about stabilty only and love doesnt matter anymore. She doesnt like the new guy but she feels safer with him. Now in the last two weeks she doesnt respond to messages anymore because I made the mistake of saying she wasnt a "good person" for betraying our relationship and rashly trying to move on too quickly. Now I dont know what to do. almost everything coach lee said in this video is relatable to my situation.
My very first bf left me bcse his family didn't want him to marry a Catholic. His religion was way off (I don't remember), but he said he will always love me. This was a while back, and I was fine. Good luck to you. Coach Lee is the best.
the second scenario is exactly what happened to me. My ex and I dated for 4 years and were best friends for a year before. It's been 2 weeks since we spoke and I know she will reach out soon but it's been so hard to not contact her for now. She was so back and forth with the break up that it was so hard for me to accept. But she felt she needed to do something and so she did. Yesterday was her birthday and I didn't reach out. I really hope she comes around soon, it's been tough. I have been working on myself as well but it's not the same without someone you care about.
Thank you! This is really helping me with NC. We had a plan to move in together in a few months and he always said how much he was looking forward to it but then came out with he couldn’t see a future with me. I had no idea he’d been thinking about it. Everything was normal so it came as quite a shock. I’m using the time to heal myself and not cling to hope
A person votes with their feet. When watching others in a conversation look at someone's feet. Whoever they are pointed at they are engaging. If their (head) is facing a person but the (feet) aren't then they are trying to get away
Coach Lee, you are simply awesome. I love how you presents the materials - very clear and to point. You are the best relationship coach thus far and I try to follow your advices as much as I can. So thank you!
The guy is good, smart, speaks well and clear. I have tried everything including gifts also a brand new car but it didn't work just rejection. But now I m hoping for the best, I m now in day 7 of no contact, crossing fingers.
Here's my story: My gf and I dated for over 2 years. We knew each other for almost 3 years. We met in college and lived together as we finished up school. I think its important to mention that we both cheated on our previous relationships when we got together. So there were trust issues from the start however, we had a really good relationship but we fought and bickered a lot too. Her family loved me and told me she has never loved anyone else as much as she loved me. On the night of 8/1/2020, we spent the night at her friends house. I got extremely intoxicated and under the influence of drugs and groped my gf's friend's leg when we all went to bed. All while I was laying next to my gf. This went on for a few hours and her friend was reciprocating this back to me although she later stated that she didn't. I would not have done this if I was sober. And looking back, I know there are things I need to do to work on myself. I felt terrible and did not say anything until that friend told my gf the next day. I sent her into a rollercoaster of emotions because it was her birthday week. Not only did I lose her trust, but I betrayed the friendships with her group of friends which I had a very good thing going, they all really liked me. We still hungout and talked for the month of August and recently had an hour long in-person conversation after not seeing each other for 2 weeks and not speaking much for 1 week. A lot was said. I found out she slept with a random guy. I told her how sorry I am for what I did and how I am making changes to be a better person. I told her how I want us to move in together, how she is the love of my life, and how I want to marry her someday. I begged and pleaded. She told me she loves me and has had a bf since she was 17 (she's 22 and Im 25) and she does not know how to be alone. She said she can't take me back right now and we are spending some time apart. I asked her if our relationship has hope and she said "idk, idk how I will feel a month from now". I know she still has feelings for me and knows I am not a bad person I just made a stupid mistake. At the end of our talk, I told her "I respect your decision and will give you space. Let me know if you have a change of heart I hope you can give me another chance. In the meantime, I will put my best foot forward every day." I have been NC for 6 days since we had the in-person conversation and I have been watching your videos daily. I am going to the gym to improve my physique and I am reading self development books. I am staying clean from drugs and putting my best foot forward everyday. I said everything I could possibly say without getting on my hands and knees and begging for her to come back. The ball is in her court. Coach Lee, do you think we still have hope?
T Mac I chased her for 7 months . I shouldn’t have but I now have a better life on a yacht with adventures. She didn’t value me or love me only the $ I gave and all the work around her property. Some other moron can take over . I done ✅
Bernese Muir thanks but after 7 months of giving $$$$ from a distance I have to move on now . I bought a 60 foot yacht after selling my house in same area as hers and took my dog and went . Gave her all my furniture and everything from my house . She loved all that and loads of trees for her garden . I supported her passion and home and her kids .. I done it’s new adventures. Not small town boring stuff .. not even sure if I can love again
You’ve been saying that they usually break up with you after they’ve been wanting to do it for a while but what if they decided to break up with you in a day? After you made a mistake that wasn’t really your fault in the first place? That one of your friends put you in a dangerous situation and then they said that after that they felt a switch turning off their feelings? Is this any different? Will no contact have a bigger impact on them or not? What if the day after they broke up with you, they said that they’ve decided to think about it? What if one week they say that they don’t want you to date anyone and then the next they say that you can date if you really want to? What if after that they say that they need space to think about it? That they want to see how they feel without the relationship? What if when they break up with you they keep on being hot and cold? Where one second they don’t want to hug you and then next they touch your hand and grab you and put your head on their chest but then they realise and go cold again and act as though that hadn’t happened? What if while they were breaking up you, you were crying and then as soon as you stop, they act all surprised as say that you look fine about it now?!
I broke up with my ex and loved him very much. He stopped putting in effort. I slowly lost attraction to him and finally gave up and left. I wish he would have fought for me, but he ran off and jumped into a rebound instead. This showed me that I made the right decision to leave him.
Thanks for your Emergency Breakup Kit, Lee. It really helped me going through the breakup. Although, I've some question for you and people on this channel: Me and girlfriend have been together for 2 years and 10 months (would have been 3 on January 14th) in a Long Distance Relationship; we were 480 km away one from another, so it wasn't easy. The first year went well, i had more time to see her even if she wanted to push things and go live together only after few months on relationship (to me it didn't had chance to work that early, especially by being so distant). So this year work started to become really heavy for me, since i got a promotion that now i realise i didn't want that much, and this summer while we were on holidays we talked about continuing the relationship or not. She always told me that she need the feeling to take a plane and go live live somewhere else, and that didn't help by having a relationship. We decided to take a "break" to see where it would have gone, results: we kept talking like we were still together. We met last time 4 weeks ago (at the beginning of November) and we decide to mutual split up beacuse of distance. We cried, hug each other and until the very end we kissed and said that maybe, one day, things will work out. We said that we would remain in good contact since our bond is so strong. The problem is that now things looks so weird: breakup was GOOD for me, in certain ways, since i realized i was hooked up too much in my job and didn't had time for myself, and that's why I decided to take my life back by going back to the gym, see some old friends and so. We've been texting back and forth during this days, and that's something that's driving me nuts: she sometimes sees my replies (which are very neutral, we talk about how the day has been and so on) and takes HOURS to text bacl. I see her going online multiple times, i see her last access on messages and still she text me back whenever she want. I tried no contact last week, cause she didn't replied to one of my message: after 4 days she texted me "I didn't know if I should have texted you. I don't know how to not make US feel bad". Still, she reply when she wants, leaving me in the edge of going nuts: i'm having really difficult time through work lately, including anxiety and panic attack. The way she's acting it's surely not helping. I don't understand if: 1) She want to be chased, by making me go crazy 2) She can't really let me go, even if we break up 3) She's just trying to be a friend, which i DON'T want, to soothe herself As I said before, we have a really deep bond which goes beyond just loving one another: we always support ourself, we push the other out of the comfort zone to see them happy and we really enjoy been together (even if now it's difficult beacuse of the LDR). I don't believe in being soul mates but in mutual committment and respect, and I understand that being together in this moment wouldn't be yet the right things. Still I see a future with her in my life, and I know that know we should spend some time apart. Based on the info i gave here, what should i do? Now i'm restarting no contact to see how it goes, but i don't want again to be texted and replied just when she feel it: in this way i really feel treat like a broken toy. Thanks again for you precious info tho, you are really helping through this difficult times
My LDR GF wants to break up, but she says she "doesn't want to break up", she doesn't want to say she loves me and she told me not to come visit her... it's now been 2 months since last time we were together. Her parents are telling her she shouldn't be with me (I've never met them), and they are threatening her economically...
I am close to 60 yrs of age! She is over 60 yrs old! At this age time is valuable! I do not want to wait 60 days to get back with this woman !!!! This is crazy!
T Fredrick in the end one of you will die. Live your last years as best you can, get a hobby, go to a game, do things you have never done before. Live this short life.
This video seems to really sound like my ex he has lost family early in his life. His Mom, Dad and Grandmother all 3 died when he was in his early 20s. He is now in his mid forties. Coach Lee, you described my x in this Educational Video. I Know in my heart that my x was in love with me we were together for eight years. That's why I'm so confused about our break-up, it just doesn't make sense to me regardless of my flaws in our marriage. Neither one of us ever Cheated on the other. I just can be excessively controlling, a dictator and a micro manager with my x while we were in our relationship. I know though deep within my heart that we loved and were in love with each other. I still I'm in Love with him that's why I want him back in my life so much..... I really Hope, Faith, Strength and continued Endurance that he will want me still just as much as I love & want him as well.
Hey everyone, I just got over my last Ex and I’m trying to find out ways to make breakups a lot easier for men to overcome. Which is why I have two questions to ask for guys like you that are finding the breakup a little more difficult than expected: 1. What are the 2 main problems you’re going through? 2. Regarding everything that is going on, what would you want more than anything else? Don't travel down the long road to get over a bad breakup like me (Year and a half). Thanks in advance, I’m looking forward to reading your answers!
I broke up with my girlfriend of two and half years because she forced us to take a break when I did not want to initially. I didn’t want to break up with her because I love her, still do, but she seemed like she didn’t care about my experiences and insecurities with breaks. It was only about her “learning to love herself” and “find herself”. But I tried to tell her many times in the past that she can work on herself while being with each other but she didn’t want to do that for some reason. We got in a really bad fight and I tried to fight for her and our relationship but she didn’t even want to try. We’ve been broken up for almost a month now and I haven’t contacted her in almost two weeks. I still want her back in my life. I don’t know what to do
i had an enlightening conversation with my ex last night that i was not intending for it to go there. Since the break up I have been watching different types of break up coaches besides you and all have been helpful. You guys are right on different notes. i dont know why some people think its ok to offer friendship as a consolidation prize when the dumpee deserves time and space to get over the dumper. But, last night i understood. The Dumper in these cases doesnt want to let go completely though they want to end the relationship. they just want it to be easy and have an easy relationship. they want to avoid the consequences of losing that person. Then, on another note, something my ex said in response to us getting physically intimate after the break up (31days after break up) made me realize he still has feelings for me more than just friends. So i do think somewhere he has convinced himself in his head that getting rid of the relationship would make things easier and alleviate the stress. And that he had to do it for thing's to go foward. His job that he had started at the beginning of this year took most of his time, he had financial things happen that made it impossible to get a car earlier this year. he' s had depression that's lingered bc of the hardships from the year before. We only recently started arguing. i did go no contact right after the break up due to the pain and how it happened hurt more than the break up. On week 2 i did respond to his messages and voicemail and our communication is much less than when we were together -just to share. So he gets space. we dont see each other. At this point i am going slow for myself and trying to see where he really is. Additionally if certain things go a certain way or i get a realization then i will consider going back to no contact with less effort on my side.
Been a week since she left, 6 days of no contact. She said she needs space.. I’m struggling mentally and physically. thought after a week I’d feel better but it’s getting worse. Struggling financially. we lived together for the majority of the relationship , two months ago I decided to go back to school and even asked her if she can wait for me to finish the course (2 years) she promised me she could. my motivation for going was making a life for us....now what’s the point. The fuse box in my house has gone out and I literally have no money left for Christmas. Classes were even cancelled last week and this week. Everything seems to be going against me, I’m at rock bottom. Found out she was on tinder two days after she left me. It hurts but I still love her and that makes me feel weak and pathetic. I want to thank you Coach Lee your videos soothe my mind and soul. Funny how the one saving me right now is a stranger on the internet and the one that’s killing me is the love of my life. I’ve resolved to keep going with no contact, my problems aren’t hers anymore. Thank you Coach Lee
Day by day, minute by minute.. Iam dieing for 4 weeks now. Still hitting the gym and finally stopped looking up her social media. Starts getting better. Have some sidegirls now, but have to force myself to do sth with them because i actually just wanna lay in bed sleeping.. Well, times going by and everythings going be alright. Keep your head up
@@haklbarry2 I need to get back to the gym, my appetite is only just coming back which is good so i think i'm gonna focus on solidly eating before i get back into it. She said when we broke up that we can talk after 2 weeks but doesn't want that to give me false hope...the following day after the break up i did a lot of thinking which gave me some perspective. I begged and pleaded with her to let me see her one more time so i can apologize for how i acted and tell her that i did a lot of thinking, she didn't agree. I went to one of her weekly classes to see her but she wasn't there looking back now this was super creepy but at the time it was like one of those romantic film moments in my head. She found out i was there (One of her friends who i spoke to while there told her) and gave me a phone call for ten mins, she sounded so cold and unfeeling but i said the things i regretted i did while i was with her and she changed my life so much even when she said she didn't want to change me, that i will move on and leave her alone for good now and told her goodbye (i still got her to promise that i can check up on her after the two weeks so i know shes safe and found a new place to live). After the phone call i resolved to not speak to her for the two weeks like i promised. It been 1 week since that phone call I found Coach Lee's videos the next day and learned about no contact. i think i handled the break up and the day after just like Coach Lee said not to :/ but in a way that phone call was almost like a clean slate message , hopefully i didn't do too much damage to my chances. Sorry for the big block of text it feels good to vent on here. Thanks for the reply and keep your head up to! we can make it through this!
Oh boy, well my first week was pretty easy and i felt like the dumper for no reason.. But after 1 week it hit me hard and i legit couldn't sleep for one week until i started halluzionating because i barely slept for more than 2 hours because of so much cortison in my head. Well took some hard shit so i could finally fall asleep. The good thing i have is that iam pretty good with girls which makes it easier but as mentioned before idc about other girls atm and have to force myself to met up or netflix and chill.. Well i went through that shit 5 years ago aswell and i know pretty much how shits going. Do yourself a favour and i mean really do it: dont look up your ex on any social media whatsoever. It is so fucking hard withstand it, but u will fucking knock yourself down with it every fucking time. Delet the old messages, so u cant see than shes online AND FORCE yourself to not look it up for 5 days. If u do that, things are getting better. It sounds easy, but trust me, iam at rock bottom and still can manage to do that shit, so u can do. And stop having hope. I am still not 100% over that fact but i know i have to do it or 1. She wont come back because u are a needy bitch who needs an arm to rest 2. U wont get any better 3. Thats not the point of no contact. Believe me, after a while u start reflecting on the relationship and u will notice that at the time she reaches out (if she does, but prob at some point she will) u are the one that is thinking about: should i or should i not give her another chance. Btw at my last breakup i gained about 20 kg over a course of 2 years and could hook up about 80% of the girls i wanted. Well shit, here we go again 😊
I did no contact since she broke up with me btw. 4 weeks in. Already not sure if shes worth a second chance after objective thinking about the relationship, but still deeply in love with her. I just want her to reach out cause i know iam feeling better knowing shes fucked. I mean we broke up in a good manner and i deeply wish her the best, but hell yea let her hit rock bottom aswell for atleast a short amount of time 😂
Uh and one last thing, iam having courses aswell and alot of tests soon, gosh i feel u. Its so hard to sit down and study effective.. And if u feel bad, start running. Whenever i think iam dieing inside i get my headphones, listen to jordan peterson and start running. I died the first 2 weeks, now iam already at a 6.40 pace and run about 7 km. Being outside makes everything better.
The first reason was 100% my ex because he thought we should go on a break but spoke to his friend and told me he realised he had to be honest and I feel like that’s the reason why he ended up properly breaking up on me. I knew it would happen if he listened to his friends I wanted him to make his own decision but I guess I’ll just have to wait it out. We were long distance so I guess that could be the actual reason. I respect him and I hope no contact works.
You are really an amazing human being, thank you so much for helping us out with your knowledge. Thank you. I can't afford the break up kit, so I am trying to use the information that u have been providing through TH-cam and make use of ur advice nd tips. Thank you for your time and help💙.
@coachlee your videos helping me so much to survive these hard days Thanx so much for sharing these videos with us 🥰 but can u please share video about what to do if your ex's parents make your ex breakeup with you please make video on these 🙏
Yes. Long distance and age gap. I was younger and had to finish my studies and my mandatory conscription. She broke up with me saying that long distance isn’t good for her mental health and she thinks its best for both of us to part ways to grow and develop seperately.
I broke up with my ex 40days ago, this is exactly case of mine, yes I am still in love with him,even I am carrying lots of pain But I am not willing come back to him.During those 40days we met once at funeral of our friend, he texted me once to say he missed me a lot. I know in deep of my mind I am holding a wish to see his change but on the other side I know very well that won’t happen. I am not going to let him hurting me one more time. He made me a bad person, full of anxiety, restlessness, doubt, anger… I don’t like who am I next to him. So I choose to leave to move on with lots of pain.
Minjia, if a relationship brings you down, it may be toxic. You cannot be in love and BE UNHAPPY. That is NOT love. Love is supposed to make you happy, not sad. Just let him go. Good luck to you.
Your Ex will regret breaking up with you after some months when you use no contact,and he/she will cry after moving on with someone else and later find out that you are the best partner for them
I was with a girl and we were getting on really well. Then I noticed one of her friends liked one of my photos or comments. Within a week to a month this girl practically ghosted me giving me one word answers and just being cold as ice. I’m convinced the close friend persuaded her to do this because she was jealous.
I made that mistake with my business. I neglected my ex a lot in order to build my business up. She ended up leaving. The whole thing seems pointless now. Ambition, success, pointless without the person u love.
Exactly
Nah women come and go stay on your purpose love dont pay the bills
You did the right thing the right person would’ve stayed
You did the right thing building the business. Her loss not yours.
I'm in the same position
The truth is I don't need my ex anymore. I don't miss him anymore. I can live without him. It's been over 1 and a half year since the breakup. Time heals the wounds
Lol....and here I am feeling that vibe of I can live without her after been dumped by my ex gf...we were together for 4 good year. 😂 it's just 1 month since she broke up with me. I pray to God to heal my broken heart and it's all because of God's blessings.. my ex starting to reach me out since day before yesterday... I don't care if she come back or not. 😊
So why are you watching this video?
but yet you're watching this video
Glad you feel the way you feel
Well done you will be at peace ✌
It’s been 4 months since me and my ex broke up. I thought my life was over and I prayed everyday that he would come back to me so the pain would stop, but I rarely think of him now. Sometimes love just isn’t enough to keep the relationship going. You have to have respect, communication and appreciation. Me and my ex had that until the very end. We both hugged and cried the day we broke up. We love each other but we just couldn’t get it right. Our relationship was so much different than either one us had before. We were best friends. We will always love and care for one another. It’s hard but it’s the best for both of us at this time.
I had a very similar experience the day he broke up with me. We cried and held each other, but in the end he asked me to leave.
It has been two months. However I have seen him twice since (to get my stuff from his place).
Both times the contact has been respectful and kind.
I still hurt, and want him back in my life. You say that sometimes love just isn’t enough- I have not accepted that possibility. Maybe it is time,so I can fully let myself move forward...
Coach Lee- thank you for these these videos. Your voice has got me through this darkness
Hannah Lunsford very similiar here. Well said 😊
tiina mettala I know exactly how you feel. At 2 months I couldn’t even think about life without him. I broke and reached out. He was super nice and respectful but said he needed his time to heal and I told him I respected that and I have followed no contact since because I realized I needed to heal as well. There are days where I still want him apart of my life. It’s best to remember why you two went your separate ways and always keep no contact. If he changes his mind you will be the first to know. I always have believed that if two people are meant to be they will find their way back.
my ex gf broke up with me but had a hard time that her anxiousness hurt her tummy and cried, i did a mistake of trying to make her change her mind which is a big no. its been 3.5 months since..... i was thinking of apologizing to her for not respecting her decision sometime in 2020 maybe. she tried to text me the next day and a pic of her bro since it was his birthday but i ignored it, i felt insulted, haven't said anything to her since.
hanna thank you for sharing your story.
My bf broke up with me a week ago. The main reason is bc we skipped the friendship part in the beginning and things moved too fast that he was sacred to love & give me more, which is because he has relationships problem with ppl(he grew up in an horrible/abusive family). And we fight about his ex issue a lot, bc of my insecurity, he thinks I want too much love from him right now that he can not afford.
We both have problems, I was too insecure and he regrets that he talked about his ex a lot& he was too careless and have emotional problem. I feel like maybe break up rn is a right thing, maybe only time can solve these problems.
But I still really want him back, I think he still loves me but he’s also forcing himself to give up and let go.
What can I do??i am so lost.
My ex literally told me that he loved me (while he was breaking up with me) but he doesn’t see a future with me, even though a couple months ago he was planning our whole future
Same here. I hope you peace & happiness
My same problem but know m happy becoz i calling astrologer abdul khan he solve my problem in 2 day
Same lol. Liars...
At least he had the courage to tell you .. mine just ghosted after telling me how much he loves me.. it hurts ..
Yes. It happens. I did that to a nice guy once. It felt terrible. I cared about him and worried about him. But I had to leave him. I could see no future with him.
Coach thank you. I followed everything you said about no contact. I started no contact Sept 26, 2019 and he reached out November 30th saying he missed me and couldn't stop thinking about me. To be completely honest when I started no contact I was hoping for us to get back together even though he broke my heart and told me he no longer had feelings for me because he fell for another girl. He was chasing after a girl who wasnt even interested in him. After the breakup I took a trip to korea for 3 weeks and it helped me clear my mind and when I returned I realized how dumb I was for hoping that he reach out and I just didnt care anymore and moved on. When he reached out I told him i was done and have moved on 🤷♀️ so it really does work!
You should have tortured him instead. Make him love u forever but at the same time torture him.
Whoa, I would NEVER ever go back to a person who emotionally cheated on me - dumped me for another person because they thought they could "do better". Happy for you that you did the right thing!
@@DragonOD_YT toy with them? How was I toying with him. All I did was give him what he wanted. He wanted to be with her so I let him.
you go girl!
Some days are really tough and I'm compelled to reach out but then I watch some of these videos and they bring me back to me senses.
Update: ex reached out after 48 days, started texting, today he called several times then BROUGHT AN ABANDONED KITTEN he found downtown over to my place. I was very thrown off by the kitten so all the plans of "keeping my cool" when we met again kinda went out the window. I acted pretty frazzled and hopefully didn't mess things up.
C. Watson preach !
@@StepOver420 I screwed up my first NC attempt big time but buckled down and tried again. My ex finally contacted me after nearly 50 days on NC! Said he thinks about me a lot and misses me. This time I'm doing exactly as coach Lee says even if it feels counter intuitive. My ex is continuing to text and I'm being polite, friendly and letting him lead the interactions.
you are so lucky.
This guy is the best. Love his logical, straight-to-point delivery.
Sure enough, my ex reached out to me by email after right around 45 days.
Lucky you
@@micallll100 Yeah, but after all that time I realized we would never be compatible. I didn't try to win her back. I just moved on.
She waited on me at work around 45-47 day!
@@erosvera9945 Did you get back with her eventually?
MARCVS LICINIVS CRASSVS no i was to nervous to even talk to her. But after 8 months she reacht out thrue fb messenger but along these months she tryid to break no contact in all ways and than decided to reach out and do confusing stuff. We are coworkers so every day she does a lite move bc she is so afraid of my persona, due to her mistakes and the new one i become. I know she still loves me.
Dear coach Lee, I'm back with my ex all thanks of you! You are just amazing! We are stronger than before 😍. Ppl follow his advices you won't regret.
I’m at just the beginning, yes I’m hurting bad, I am following his advice all the way. I’m thinking this was a good thing for us so that we will be even better, it was not an ugly break up at all so I know deep in my heart we will make it!
@@staceysmiley5215 hope you made it mate
Great to hear! Good luck!
you don't know this but you have been my coach and my strength i listened to others and they don't make sense i did everything YOU guided me thru and it WORKED everybody who reads this comment listen to me... Coach Lee is the REAL DEAL!!!!
For sure !!
Sometimes they only string you along because nothing else is coming their way.
Totally,, but when I realized that, I just left, he pursued but when he didn't get it from me he created a situation which I later found out that I was dealing with a convert narcissist and he had lost supply from me, I cut him off completely without even confronting him and that is eating me up with anger,,, right now I don't know what his thinking because he has left me alone,
Silence is your best weapon. Don't even waste your time on him.
Once you know they want to string you along, that's the best closure you can get! It may be hard, but continue NC and start dating again. When you start meeting new people, everything about you resonates confidence; that's when your ex senses you've moved on and tries to come back..if you enjoy table turning then you know what to do
@@olmanclifford218 well good luck because the “good” are far and few between! Remember the corrupt and selfish world that we live in, and also it takes a long long time to get to know someone
Coach Lee: I just wanna say thank you for these videos you have uploaded to TH-cam. I think I speak for a lot of people here by saying that whether we REALLY want our Exs back or not, your perspective into human nature and above all; your adamant stand that we have self worth is incredibly valueable and appreciated. You are helping hundreds if not thousands of people to feel at ease during a dark period of their life.
Thanks for that, much love
Kasper Friberg
Yeah why not for getting involved in your life and asking me forever? While at the same time not ? They don't really help your giving them a ride. We want to make this a business? I don't want your friends in my life.
Amen to that 🙌🌍🙏🎩
This is the best breakup Chanel. This man has a way of taking his time to make us feel better and give us just enough hope to go on without giving us unrealistic expectations.
It's like God put coach Lee in front of me for a reason. Thank you coach Lee for opening my eyes and helping me see through this breakup. You're golden!
i think it hurts more to breakup this way💔
Erick S it does...
Definitely does
Cuh down cuh down
It really does 😞
It really truly does. I've been through a number of breakups but none hurt like this one. We were right for each other and so in love with each other like I've never had before. Even during the breakup. I've never been this much of a mess over an ex.
No skipping Ads for Coach Lee! 😘😘😘 We need to support him by no skipping Ads.. thank you people
If you are leaving an abuser, you are often still in love with him/her. But you need to get and stay away for your own safety.
That's really not normal
Hello Coach lee i need your advise my setuation now what i can im just had breaking up 3weeks ago with my LDR bf..the problem is he got a gf after he breaking up with me..but he said we can still be communicate weekdays as friends and he willing to support me anytime but he said during week end he did not talk to me its because he will be in the house of the girl stay..i need your advise coach..please help what i can do..Im suffering the pain of our break up.
@@lilyperez299 Do NOT help your ex through the break up, and do NOT offer him a friendship. First of all, this will harm you a lot. You will always have that other girl in your mind and feel inadequate. Your ex wants the benefit of having you without any responsibilities. When he decided to lose you, he must lose ALL of you, and feel the consequence of his decision. Do not contact him, at all.
As the other girl goes, monkeybranching - switching from one partner to another is a very severe case of a rebound relationship. The chance that it fails is very high. ANY action on your part will just give that relationship a justification. Silence is golden.
Coach Lee is solid, but I disagree with his approach of reaching out after a few months. It should be your ex who does this. I strongly recommend you to watch videos by Rory from the channel "The Love Chat" and "Dating Guy" here on TH-cam.
@@wildanS how i can do that not to contact we already sometimes talking a lot and now he calling me first and he told me that his rebound relationship was very angry of him this time ita because he forget his t shirt in the house of the girl then that t shirt is my gift for him on his birthday and i put my name inside the tshirt and the girl was show my name out there and she getting agry with my ex..everything will happening for them they will share to me the story..if have chance soon he will come back to me?
Yes.Definitely.
Where on earth can we find likeminded people who are willing to experience different facets of life without letting the difficulties get in the way is the relationship. Gosh.
They are out there. And they become easier to recognize.
1 million dollar question
My ex broke up with me. I chased her. We go out but then I realized I'am doing the wrong thing. We've been together for almost 10 years. She said she's always there for me but I cut off all the ties with her and finally decided to go on with my life. Yes, it give me chills down my spine the times I think about her but I try to shake it off my mind. Now I'm still struggling. I'm still hoping but not so much. Just pray. If they really love they'll come back. But never do the no contact rule expecting a 100% chance to be in the same grounds again. Go on, live life. Life is too short to be in pain.
Bro almost same case
Well look at coach looking hot with the new look....ok let me focus
Monique Shawntay lol, you want some whites chocolate eh?
😂😂
😂😂😂
Haha my thoughts exactly
@@B1GK1NG lol....no I'm good just a nice haircut...
He does look great
I think it would be helpful if you made some more videos talking about “unnecessary” breakups like the person leaving because of their career choice or school.
Thats my break up career choice I couldn't accept my girl wanting to switch careers and become a massage therapist I wasnt comfortable wit that proffession
No matter why u break up, a breakup is a breakup, just move on. If fate should bring your ex back, it's good. If not, you still got a bright future ahead of you.
You make your own fate
True. But it's easier said than done! This is however the best encouragement but it's a stepwise process
You’re giving me just what I need Coach. God lead me to your page, and I’m trying my best to stay strong. Thank you for these free videos. There’s so much value in them. Yet you let us learn for free. Shows how much you care. (:
Your new look suits you! Aside from that, I applaud you mentioning that having an education and career is important, but it should serve to support "having a good life with people you love". Many people forget that and turn things around.
It just doesn't feel like he's having a hard time with it. It just doesn't feel like he misses me Lee.
😔
as guy dumpee's we think the same about our ex gf dumper; that it doesnt feel like they miss you at all
Coach lee is our guiding angel. There will be days where it hurts like hell, i’ve learnt to close my eyes and just let all the emotions flow and just accept them, i promise you will feel better after. Next, stop the imaginary future life you thought you’d have, it’s just the best version possible of what you could possibly want, not what reality will serve. Finally, you have to really, and i mean REALLY, ask yourself, if someone can so easily leave you, is this someone you want to be with? Forget ego here, but if they can’t work through the difficult times, why should they deserve you at your best?
When my ex dumped me she said " I will always love you but I'm not in love with you any more." This hurt me to the core and had me puzzled but I can understand now
Yes this is me. I broke my own heart leaving someone who was emotionally unavailable who I was very much in love with but couldn't take the absence/distance any longer.....it hurts like hell but I got to remind myself not to waste my love and feelings on someone who cant/won't feel.....I did it out of respect to myself because I want a loving connection with my partner not a cold robotic shell who as soon as he gets close pulls away back into his shell again....so yes we can truly love you with everything in us but will do it from afar because we know we deserve better....my heart just breaks for him cause he's never gonna know real love xo
I feel every part of this. Hang in there..
So true, some are emotionally damaged. I had amazing sexual intimacy with one man for 23-24 years but yet the emotionally unavailable man told me that that guy was lying and pretending. He has never experienced it for self, it’s very sad. He said he want to be a whore, a 56 year old man whore! WTFE, from the lazy boy rocker half dead from working...oh yes.
I had the similar experience as you with a guy with dismissive avoidant attachment (how it calls). These kind of broken and traumatized people shouldn't even approach the dating scene until they get fixed by professionals. I felt used and empty. It was such a waste of time and energy.
Yes!!! This is exactly it. It makes no sense. Our relationship was great. I will never understand his choice.
The timing is critical! Powerful end of the video! Thank you, Coach Lee! I’m trying to hang in there, without going into despair that days pass by and no sign from him whatsoever. I’m holding on to No Contact with both hands 😁 if I break NC I’ll just ruin things and go back to square 1 so I keep reminding myself it’s the best thing that I can do...actually the only thing that can increase my chances of getting back together :)
Age gap! Long distance. Extrovert and introvert. We tried. I’m the older one and I think we were in love. Now it’s NC. There was nothing I could have done when she started conservatoire. I know I’ll love her as soon as I see her again. It was so intense but so enriching and so natural.
Are you back.together? And how many years is the age gap? I have the same problem
Coach,Ur new hairstyle is killer ❤️
You nailed it coach. He left me telling me he loved me much. It was absolutely sincere. He didn’t see a future together because our desires for a family are not the same timing.
He was crying, not sleeping for an entire week then. But he keeps not talking to me from then. He even told me he would regret his decision.
@sweettagada22 update!?
@@preetyrahman7512 still nothing. I have good clue he stalks me on WhatsApp and watched my IG stories but nothing else. I am in an new relationship (still think about him)
“Mars university”. 😂😂😂😂😂
I heard that 😂😂😂😂😂
I went there 15 years ago. Their tuition fees were out of this world!
NGL, I just had a rebound HU, and I was not interested in the slightest. I literally wanted to leave the date and go home. Then later on, during you know what, I literally wanted to cry afterwards and leave immediately. There was a part of me that felt detached from my EX GF, but I need to see her again to see if I do still feel the love. I DO want to love, and I want to be loved. But at this moment, I feel incapable of loving, whether that be my ex gf or any other woman.
Don’t reach out ever to the dumper. Move on with your life. If they call you great. If they don’t great. It’s one of the hardest things you will ever have to do. It’s even harder if you were anxiously attached.
I have a friend his wife is an alcoholic in and out of rehab he paid 10 of thousands of dollars and still stayed with her, not leaving her side. IF the roles were reversed and he was the alcoholic SHE WOULD HAVE LEFT HIM ALONG TIME AGO. Women are less forgiven and think with emotion instead of their brain .
This is exactly my situation.
I’ve never been so insanely in love with someone as I am. Her family has to control her world. 😞
Same situation updates ?
That's why coronavirus is here to make people realize its people that u love is more important than a job
Word
Love your hair coach Lee! P.S. I wrote you on your Instagram, but then two days later, my ex came back lol thanks for all of your amazing videos! I appreciate you! Your videos always help! ♥️♥️♥️♥️
Atreyu Cove why did they leave?
lol way too much to go into. I’d be typing for a while! Infidelity played a part though. It’s difficult.
Atreyu Cove ok one last question, infidelity on who’s part?
Did it really work
He's right- when you casually mention something that reminds you of them to them, it works! I have a unique name and after a long period of no contact, my ex told me he thought of me when he got a new client with a similar yet more popular name and wondered how i was doing. Now we are permanently broken up, but every-frickin-time I see or hear that name I remember my ex. 😩😩😩
💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔
This message is so spot on my GF broke up with me once she moved away for her career . She moved to FL I live in Chicago , she led me to believe that we would still have a future after her move we agreed on doing the long distance thing temporarily until I decide to move (which I was going too) . Soon as she moved she became really distant & cold I was so confused and hurt by her behavior I confronted her about it and she got really defensive saying that she didn’t deserve to be out there alone that I should have been the one to move with her, when In fact she seemed understanding that I couldn’t move right away because of my job and lease on the apartment . I’m 44 days in no contact and it still hurts but I’m staying strong , I been reading a lot, going to the gym 5-6 days a week and really working on myself . I hope it hits her one day that she lost a good man I never cheated on her or abused her . I’m starting to gain clarity and even see she was possibly a Narcissist to just ghost me like this . She said she still loves me and even cried before she left saying how much she’s gonna miss me I just don’t understand how we got here. We were together 3 years I was gonna purpose to her when I moved there .
Ricasso 777
How are you doing now?
@@reneesimmons1890 it’s going on 2 years no contact . She hasn’t reached out nor have I contacted her . I’m 100% healed from the heart break . Doing better then ever :)
@@ricasso777 I am so glad to hear this!! Mine moved to Florida 10 months ago giving me hot cold. Finally on July 4 he told me “I love you, not in love with you and I don’t see a future with you. This happened when he just asked me on a cruise in the beginning of July! I am going 100 percent no contact. I can’t believe he is this person now when we were so in love. I am so glad you are healed.
She met her female friend, then tested me then break up happened. This video is a masterclass masterpiece. Thank you
Old video but I've listened to so many of yours, and it's the first time - that I've noticed anyway - you mention the 2.5 month time so clearly as a way to break NC with a simple "fond memory passing comment" message, not asking for any response. Brilliant. I love the explanation, the reasonong, and let's face it, at one point, we, the dumped person, want to move on. Getting the ex back is great. Yet so is clarity, whatever that leads to.
Just got dumped a little while ago. The relationship wasn’t super long, but we just fit together so well that it seemed perfect. I was worried he needed more from our relationship than long distance could provide, and sadly I was right. Don’t know if it would b right to get back together again, considering we’ve both got years of separate schooling ahead of us, but these videos really help me get a better understanding of what happened and how both parties felt. I hope he’s doing well.
Probably... They may love you but simply see no future with you eg because you have a difficult personality or incompatible temperament with them. Very sad but there is little you can do about it. Just accept it and try to find someone who can cope with you as you are. This will often be a problem for artistic types who are oftenvery Moody and chargeable, always going on on a new tangent, exploring, experimenting etc. It drives some poor steady types insane because they crave peace and stability whilst the creatives crave newness, excitement, life, freshness etc.Something that just blows them away, emotionally. They break a few rules and push the limits to get this. Which other types find emotionally distressing and hard to understand. But two creative types will tune into each other emotionally and can communicate without uttering a word and even accept the other telling them to stop certain behaviours because it's getting a bit too excessive, dangerous, out of line etc. The sad part is that these incompatible personality types seem to need and crave each other, despite driving each other crazy. It takes a lot of patience and understanding to make such intense attractions work. When they do work, it is great. But when they fail, it is disastrous.
Sometimes i wish i was here even before i messed myself up let alone the relationship😗
Thanks coach Lee🌹🌹🌹🌹
VERY TRUE, my mom took my ex aside and talked to him, i was 17, he was 22, i have no idea what she said. he was actually fine after so i never asked i still got roses and lots of love. ive moved on and so he, i think it was a nationality issue. i wouldve left my parents in a minute to live with him after high school. but he found someone with the same nationality, (only figuring this out now). saying the right thing at the right time works
Thanks. Needed to hear this. It's never as long as we think it's been, time stands still when we are in this situation. This is great advice.
Parasite ^
Hi Coach Lee, after listening to this video, it brought back memories of me losing 5 friends, MY FAULT, for not listening to them. They all told my that they did not like my ex bcse he was USING me..I became so angry with them that I refused to associate with them. WOW, they were soooo right since he never had any intentions of getting married, and I was devastated. 2 yrs went by, and to make a long story, I called my friends to tell them that they were so right about him. Sadly, 3 of my dear friends passed away, and the other 2 re-located & I can't locate them. See Coach Lee, I couldn't see that my ex was only using me. I got over him in over a year, but I will never forget my friends. Every night before I go to sleep, I say a prayer for them and I always say, THANK YOU FOR TRYING TO HELP ME. I LOVE YOU.
my ex broke up with me saying that I was the love of his life, that he loved me more than anything and that we'll hopefully find our way back to each other but He stated that he had a dream to achieve (join the army), and only one opportunity to do so, he wouldn't bear messing his one and only chance, so he gave up on me... (he didn't want to hurt me by putting me aside).
I still hope that he'll came back , but i'm not WAITING for him. What's more important is that I'm finding myself again, I'm loving life again. I never had that much projects and goals going on. Your videos help me to hang on and focus on myself. Thank you
That Ex Narcissistic POS better not come anyway near me!!! 33yrs of my life WASTED!!! Love had nothing to do with it!!! ( l thought it was love)! Boy was l wrong!!
Coach Lee, out of all your videos, this one which I thought was the least likely scenario that fit my situation was the most helpful!
Thank you for sharing your knowledge!
Know the difference between being "in love" and "loving" someone.
I dated my ex in Japan the last 3.5 years. We were talking about marriage and children but I never officially proposed to her.
I told her for over a year I would leave in August to move back to America to work for a couple months as a refresher. (living as a foreigner can become bothersome in a homogeneous society), and asked if long distance was okay and if she would want to move to America with me. She always told me it was okay. I told her I would also return to Japan in a couple months to be with her if she changed her mind.
3 days before I move out of my apartment in Japan, she breaks up with me. I knew she still loved me but she said she had to move on from me and could not wait anymore.
I spent the next week before leaving the country trying to convince her to change her mind but it didnt work.
Immediately after I left, her parents planned to introduce her to another guy for her to get married to only two weeks after I left. I plead for her to not meet the guy but she said it would make her parents happy and met him anyways. They met and he told her they would get married after their first weekend meeting. Her parents groomed him to move quickly.
She said she still loved me but because of her family, me choosing to leave Japan, and stability she had to move on from me and do whats best for her.
Badly for me I always felt I could not do no contact in this situation because the same situation happened to her sister, and her sister is in an unhappy arranged marriage as well. (she dated a Korean guy 5 years, then broke up with him and married a Japanese guy introduced by her parents as well.) The longest no contact i could do was 3 weeks.
We were conversing positively but she always refused to change her mind because her parents are happy about the relationship, but she isn't. I tell her to choose her happiness with me, but she says that now that she is 30 years old, marriage is about stabilty only and love doesnt matter anymore. She doesnt like the new guy but she feels safer with him.
Now in the last two weeks she doesnt respond to messages anymore because I made the mistake of saying she wasnt a "good person" for betraying our relationship and rashly trying to move on too quickly.
Now I dont know what to do.
almost everything coach lee said in this video is relatable to my situation.
My very first bf left me bcse his family didn't want him to marry a Catholic. His religion was way off (I don't remember), but he said he will always love me. This was a while back, and I was fine. Good luck to you. Coach Lee is the best.
the second scenario is exactly what happened to me. My ex and I dated for 4 years and were best friends for a year before. It's been 2 weeks since we spoke and I know she will reach out soon but it's been so hard to not contact her for now. She was so back and forth with the break up that it was so hard for me to accept. But she felt she needed to do something and so she did. Yesterday was her birthday and I didn't reach out. I really hope she comes around soon, it's been tough. I have been working on myself as well but it's not the same without someone you care about.
so , did she come back ?
Excellent video, Coach Lee. You’re such an encouragement to me. And you have great hair!
Thank you! This is really helping me with NC. We had a plan to move in together in a few months and he always said how much he was looking forward to it but then came out with he couldn’t see a future with me. I had no idea he’d been thinking about it. Everything was normal so it came as quite a shock. I’m using the time to heal myself and not cling to hope
A person votes with their feet. When watching others in a conversation look at someone's feet. Whoever they are pointed at they are engaging. If their (head) is facing a person but the (feet) aren't then they are trying to get away
Coach Lee, you are simply awesome.
I love how you presents the materials - very clear and to point. You are the best relationship coach thus far and I try to follow your advices as much as I can.
So thank you!
The guy is good, smart, speaks well and clear.
I have tried everything including gifts also a brand new car but it didn't work just rejection.
But now I m hoping for the best, I m now in day 7 of no contact, crossing fingers.
South Africa
Keep it going brother....yep I'd give my ex the world....I'm in day 3...Keep me posted
Hang in there Lucky im on day 13
When my ex broke up with me, last words were "I love so much but I want to be alone"
Here's my story:
My gf and I dated for over 2 years. We knew each other for almost 3 years. We met in college and lived together as we finished up school. I think its important to mention that we both cheated on our previous relationships when we got together. So there were trust issues from the start however, we had a really good relationship but we fought and bickered a lot too. Her family loved me and told me she has never loved anyone else as much as she loved me. On the night of 8/1/2020, we spent the night at her friends house. I got extremely intoxicated and under the influence of drugs and groped my gf's friend's leg when we all went to bed. All while I was laying next to my gf. This went on for a few hours and her friend was reciprocating this back to me although she later stated that she didn't. I would not have done this if I was sober. And looking back, I know there are things I need to do to work on myself. I felt terrible and did not say anything until that friend told my gf the next day. I sent her into a rollercoaster of emotions because it was her birthday week. Not only did I lose her trust, but I betrayed the friendships with her group of friends which I had a very good thing going, they all really liked me. We still hungout and talked for the month of August and recently had an hour long in-person conversation after not seeing each other for 2 weeks and not speaking much for 1 week. A lot was said. I found out she slept with a random guy. I told her how sorry I am for what I did and how I am making changes to be a better person. I told her how I want us to move in together, how she is the love of my life, and how I want to marry her someday. I begged and pleaded. She told me she loves me and has had a bf since she was 17 (she's 22 and Im 25) and she does not know how to be alone. She said she can't take me back right now and we are spending some time apart. I asked her if our relationship has hope and she said "idk, idk how I will feel a month from now". I know she still has feelings for me and knows I am not a bad person I just made a stupid mistake. At the end of our talk, I told her "I respect your decision and will give you space. Let me know if you have a change of heart I hope you can give me another chance. In the meantime, I will put my best foot forward every day."
I have been NC for 6 days since we had the in-person conversation and I have been watching your videos daily. I am going to the gym to improve my physique and I am reading self development books. I am staying clean from drugs and putting my best foot forward everyday. I said everything I could possibly say without getting on my hands and knees and begging for her to come back. The ball is in her court. Coach Lee, do you think we still have hope?
Loving the new hair style Coach! 👍🏼
I wish I could have watched your video before. But never to late, because of you, im more stronger than ever.
If someone doesn’t love you or value you and break it off.. it’s done . Going back is a mistake as that same situation will come back again .
Hard not to go back in hope it will be better when u love them as people do grow people do make mistakes and people can wake up ... dont u think ?
T Mac I chased her for 7 months . I shouldn’t have but I now have a better life on a yacht with adventures. She didn’t value me or love me only the $ I gave and all the work around her property. Some other moron can take over . I done ✅
Amen
Bernese Muir thanks but after 7 months of giving $$$$ from a distance I have to move on now . I bought a 60 foot yacht after selling my house in same area as hers and took my dog and went . Gave her all my furniture and everything from my house . She loved all that and loads of trees for her garden . I supported her passion and home and her kids .. I done it’s new adventures. Not small town boring stuff .. not even sure if I can love again
lightinthedusk I valued her to much
You’ve been saying that they usually break up with you after they’ve been wanting to do it for a while but what if they decided to break up with you in a day? After you made a mistake that wasn’t really your fault in the first place? That one of your friends put you in a dangerous situation and then they said that after that they felt a switch turning off their feelings? Is this any different? Will no contact have a bigger impact on them or not? What if the day after they broke up with you, they said that they’ve decided to think about it? What if one week they say that they don’t want you to date anyone and then the next they say that you can date if you really want to? What if after that they say that they need space to think about it? That they want to see how they feel without the relationship? What if when they break up with you they keep on being hot and cold? Where one second they don’t want to hug you and then next they touch your hand and grab you and put your head on their chest but then they realise and go cold again and act as though that hadn’t happened? What if while they were breaking up you, you were crying and then as soon as you stop, they act all surprised as say that you look fine about it now?!
I really like your intro and outro music theme. I hope you continue to use it, it's always a satisfying and relaxing tune to hear!
New hairstyle fits you very well Coach Lee.
I broke up with my ex and loved him very much. He stopped putting in effort. I slowly lost attraction to him and finally gave up and left. I wish he would have fought for me, but he ran off and jumped into a rebound instead. This showed me that I made the right decision to leave him.
Just in the nick of time coach Lee. You are reading my mind. You are the man ! Thank you Bro for this video :)
You have been bringing me a peace of mind 😩
Thanks for your Emergency Breakup Kit, Lee. It really helped me going through the breakup. Although, I've some question for you and people on this channel: Me and girlfriend have been together for 2 years and 10 months (would have been 3 on January 14th) in a Long Distance Relationship; we were 480 km away one from another, so it wasn't easy. The first year went well, i had more time to see her even if she wanted to push things and go live together only after few months on relationship (to me it didn't had chance to work that early, especially by being so distant). So this year work started to become really heavy for me, since i got a promotion that now i realise i didn't want that much, and this summer while we were on holidays we talked about continuing the relationship or not. She always told me that she need the feeling to take a plane and go live live somewhere else, and that didn't help by having a relationship. We decided to take a "break" to see where it would have gone, results: we kept talking like we were still together.
We met last time 4 weeks ago (at the beginning of November) and we decide to mutual split up beacuse of distance. We cried, hug each other and until the very end we kissed and said that maybe, one day, things will work out. We said that we would remain in good contact since our bond is so strong.
The problem is that now things looks so weird: breakup was GOOD for me, in certain ways, since i realized i was hooked up too much in my job and didn't had time for myself, and that's why I decided to take my life back by going back to the gym, see some old friends and so.
We've been texting back and forth during this days, and that's something that's driving me nuts: she sometimes sees my replies (which are very neutral, we talk about how the day has been and so on) and takes HOURS to text bacl. I see her going online multiple times, i see her last access on messages and still she text me back whenever she want. I tried no contact last week, cause she didn't replied to one of my message: after 4 days she texted me "I didn't know if I should have texted you. I don't know how to not make US feel bad". Still, she reply when she wants, leaving me in the edge of going nuts: i'm having really difficult time through work lately, including anxiety and panic attack. The way she's acting it's surely not helping. I don't understand if:
1) She want to be chased, by making me go crazy
2) She can't really let me go, even if we break up
3) She's just trying to be a friend, which i DON'T want, to soothe herself
As I said before, we have a really deep bond which goes beyond just loving one another: we always support ourself, we push the other out of the comfort zone to see them happy and we really enjoy been together (even if now it's difficult beacuse of the LDR). I don't believe in being soul mates but in mutual committment and respect, and I understand that being together in this moment wouldn't be yet the right things.
Still I see a future with her in my life, and I know that know we should spend some time apart.
Based on the info i gave here, what should i do? Now i'm restarting no contact to see how it goes, but i don't want again to be texted and replied just when she feel it: in this way i really feel treat like a broken toy.
Thanks again for you precious info tho, you are really helping through this difficult times
Any update?
@@camellia8625 Hey! We not back together, we friends now but I'm happy in a new relationship :)
My LDR GF wants to break up, but she says she "doesn't want to break up", she doesn't want to say she loves me and she told me not to come visit her... it's now been 2 months since last time we were together. Her parents are telling her she shouldn't be with me (I've never met them), and they are threatening her economically...
I think coach Lee is actually the best person ever my literal angel 😇
I am close to 60 yrs of age! She is over 60 yrs old! At this age time is valuable! I do not want to wait 60 days to get back with this woman !!!! This is crazy!
Hahaha!!! So what are you gonna do???😂😂😂😂
T Fredrick in the end one of you will die. Live your last years as best you can, get a hobby, go to a game, do things you have never done before. Live this short life.
Move on. life is short
you should make a video called "signs you shouldn't break no contact"
I am in love with you Coach Lee. So handsome today!
You are a genius...That was the reason. .The family.. although he is 50. Day before said "I love you"...it's unbelievable
Lee make a video of getting an ex back after taking them for granted
This video seems to really sound like my ex he has lost family early in his life. His Mom, Dad and Grandmother all 3 died when he was in his early 20s. He is now in his mid forties. Coach Lee, you described my x in this Educational Video. I Know in my heart that my x was in love with me we were together for eight years. That's why I'm so confused about our break-up, it just doesn't make sense to me regardless of my flaws in our marriage. Neither one of us ever Cheated on the other. I just can be excessively controlling, a dictator and a micro manager with my x while we were in our relationship. I know though deep within my heart that we loved and were in love with each other. I still I'm in Love with him that's why I want him back in my life so much..... I really Hope, Faith, Strength and continued Endurance that he will want me still just as much as I love & want him as well.
I always like your videos even before I watch, lol
I am leaving you a big tip when we get back together. Pray for me everyone 🙏🏻
Update?
Update 😢
Yes, if your EX truly loved you...
Hey everyone, I just got over my last Ex and I’m trying to find out ways to make breakups a lot easier for men to overcome. Which is why I have two questions to ask for guys like you that are finding the breakup a little more difficult than expected:
1. What are the 2 main problems you’re going through?
2. Regarding everything that is going on, what would you want more than anything else?
Don't travel down the long road to get over a bad breakup like me (Year and a half). Thanks in advance, I’m looking forward to reading your answers!
I broke up with my girlfriend of two and half years because she forced us to take a break when I did not want to initially. I didn’t want to break up with her because I love her, still do, but she seemed like she didn’t care about my experiences and insecurities with breaks. It was only about her “learning to love herself” and “find herself”. But I tried to tell her many times in the past that she can work on herself while being with each other but she didn’t want to do that for some reason. We got in a really bad fight and I tried to fight for her and our relationship but she didn’t even want to try. We’ve been broken up for almost a month now and I haven’t contacted her in almost two weeks. I still want her back in my life. I don’t know what to do
What happened?
Did she come back?
i had an enlightening conversation with my ex last night that i was not intending for it to go there. Since the break up I have been watching different types of break up coaches besides you and all have been helpful. You guys are right on different notes. i dont know why some people think its ok to offer friendship as a consolidation prize when the dumpee deserves time and space to get over the dumper. But, last night i understood. The Dumper in these cases doesnt want to let go completely though they want to end the relationship. they just want it to be easy and have an easy relationship. they want to avoid the consequences of losing that person. Then, on another note, something my ex said in response to us getting physically intimate after the break up (31days after break up) made me realize he still has feelings for me more than just friends. So i do think somewhere he has convinced himself in his head that getting rid of the relationship would make things easier and alleviate the stress. And that he had to do it for thing's to go foward. His job that he had started at the beginning of this year took most of his time, he had financial things happen that made it impossible to get a car earlier this year. he' s had depression that's lingered bc of the hardships from the year before. We only recently started arguing. i did go no contact right after the break up due to the pain and how it happened hurt more than the break up. On week 2 i did respond to his messages and voicemail and our communication is much less than when we were together -just to share. So he gets space. we dont see each other. At this point i am going slow for myself and trying to see where he really is. Additionally if certain things go a certain way or i get a realization then i will consider going back to no contact with less effort on my side.
Been a week since she left, 6 days of no contact. She said she needs space.. I’m struggling mentally and physically. thought after a week I’d feel better but it’s getting worse.
Struggling financially. we lived together for the majority of the relationship , two months ago I decided to go back to school and even asked her if she can wait for me to finish the course (2 years) she promised me she could. my motivation for going was making a life for us....now what’s the point.
The fuse box in my house has gone out and I literally have no money left for Christmas. Classes were even cancelled last week and this week. Everything seems to be going against me, I’m at rock bottom.
Found out she was on tinder two days after she left me. It hurts but I still love her and that makes me feel weak and pathetic.
I want to thank you Coach Lee your videos soothe my mind and soul. Funny how the one saving me right now is a stranger on the internet and the one that’s killing me is the love of my life.
I’ve resolved to keep going with no contact, my problems aren’t hers anymore. Thank you Coach Lee
Day by day, minute by minute.. Iam dieing for 4 weeks now. Still hitting the gym and finally stopped looking up her social media. Starts getting better. Have some sidegirls now, but have to force myself to do sth with them because i actually just wanna lay in bed sleeping..
Well, times going by and everythings going be alright. Keep your head up
@@haklbarry2 I need to get back to the gym, my appetite is only just coming back which is good so i think i'm gonna focus on solidly eating before i get back into it.
She said when we broke up that we can talk after 2 weeks but doesn't want that to give me false hope...the following day after the break up i did a lot of thinking which gave me some perspective. I begged and pleaded with her to let me see her one more time so i can apologize for how i acted and tell her that i did a lot of thinking, she didn't agree. I went to one of her weekly classes to see her but she wasn't there looking back now this was super creepy but at the time it was like one of those romantic film moments in my head.
She found out i was there (One of her friends who i spoke to while there told her) and gave me a phone call for ten mins, she sounded so cold and unfeeling but i said the things i regretted i did while i was with her and she changed my life so much even when she said she didn't want to change me, that i will move on and leave her alone for good now and told her goodbye (i still got her to promise that i can check up on her after the two weeks so i know shes safe and found a new place to live). After the phone call i resolved to not speak to her for the two weeks like i promised. It been 1 week since that phone call
I found Coach Lee's videos the next day and learned about no contact. i think i handled the break up and the day after just like Coach Lee said not to :/ but in a way that phone call was almost like a clean slate message , hopefully i didn't do too much damage to my chances.
Sorry for the big block of text it feels good to vent on here. Thanks for the reply and keep your head up to! we can make it through this!
Oh boy, well my first week was pretty easy and i felt like the dumper for no reason.. But after 1 week it hit me hard and i legit couldn't sleep for one week until i started halluzionating because i barely slept for more than 2 hours because of so much cortison in my head. Well took some hard shit so i could finally fall asleep.
The good thing i have is that iam pretty good with girls which makes it easier but as mentioned before idc about other girls atm and have to force myself to met up or netflix and chill.. Well i went through that shit 5 years ago aswell and i know pretty much how shits going.
Do yourself a favour and i mean really do it: dont look up your ex on any social media whatsoever. It is so fucking hard withstand it, but u will fucking knock yourself down with it every fucking time. Delet the old messages, so u cant see than shes online AND FORCE yourself to not look it up for 5 days. If u do that, things are getting better.
It sounds easy, but trust me, iam at rock bottom and still can manage to do that shit, so u can do.
And stop having hope. I am still not 100% over that fact but i know i have to do it or 1. She wont come back because u are a needy bitch who needs an arm to rest 2. U wont get any better 3. Thats not the point of no contact.
Believe me, after a while u start reflecting on the relationship and u will notice that at the time she reaches out (if she does, but prob at some point she will) u are the one that is thinking about: should i or should i not give her another chance.
Btw at my last breakup i gained about 20 kg over a course of 2 years and could hook up about 80% of the girls i wanted. Well shit, here we go again 😊
I did no contact since she broke up with me btw. 4 weeks in. Already not sure if shes worth a second chance after objective thinking about the relationship, but still deeply in love with her. I just want her to reach out cause i know iam feeling better knowing shes fucked. I mean we broke up in a good manner and i deeply wish her the best, but hell yea let her hit rock bottom aswell for atleast a short amount of time 😂
Uh and one last thing, iam having courses aswell and alot of tests soon, gosh i feel u. Its so hard to sit down and study effective..
And if u feel bad, start running. Whenever i think iam dieing inside i get my headphones, listen to jordan peterson and start running. I died the first 2 weeks, now iam already at a 6.40 pace and run about 7 km. Being outside makes everything better.
The first reason was 100% my ex because he thought we should go on a break but spoke to his friend and told me he realised he had to be honest and I feel like that’s the reason why he ended up properly breaking up on me. I knew it would happen if he listened to his friends I wanted him to make his own decision but I guess I’ll just have to wait it out. We were long distance so I guess that could be the actual reason. I respect him and I hope no contact works.
I broke up with my ex because he was avoidant..I love him very much, but the push and pull hit and cold behavior was very bad for me mentally 😞
This is exactly correct. You just described by issue - his mom strong armed into it and I don’t think he wants a divorce after 28 yrs
You are really an amazing human being, thank you so much for helping us out with your knowledge. Thank you. I can't afford the break up kit, so I am trying to use the information that u have been providing through TH-cam and make use of ur advice nd tips. Thank you for your time and help💙.
@coachlee your videos helping me so much to survive these hard days Thanx so much for sharing these videos with us 🥰 but can u please share video about what to do if your ex's parents make your ex breakeup with you please make video on these 🙏
Please keep making these videos. You're amazing. God bless you.
Yes. Long distance and age gap. I was younger and had to finish my studies and my mandatory conscription. She broke up with me saying that long distance isn’t good for her mental health and she thinks its best for both of us to part ways to grow and develop seperately.
Please make a video about being to blame for the breakup and how to behave
I broke up with my ex 40days ago, this is exactly case of mine, yes I am still in love with him,even I am carrying lots of pain But I am not willing come back to him.During those 40days we met once at funeral of our friend, he texted me once to say he missed me a lot. I know in deep of my mind I am holding a wish to see his change but on the other side I know very well that won’t happen. I am not going to let him hurting me one more time. He made me a bad person, full of anxiety, restlessness, doubt, anger… I don’t like who am I next to him. So I choose to leave to move on with lots of pain.
Minjia, if a relationship brings you down, it may be toxic. You cannot be in love and BE UNHAPPY. That is NOT love. Love is supposed to make you happy, not sad. Just let him go. Good luck to you.
You look VERY handsome with your new hairstyle!
Your Ex will regret breaking up with you after some months when you use no contact,and he/she will cry after moving on with someone else and later find out that you are the best partner for them
I was with a girl and we were getting on really well. Then I noticed one of her friends liked one of my photos or comments. Within a week to a month this girl practically ghosted me giving me one word answers and just being cold as ice. I’m convinced the close friend persuaded her to do this because she was jealous.
Coach all is true, I’ve experienced it. You speak the truth. Coach Lee that haircut suits you well. Handsome Coach Lee