Transform your relationship: www.bene-ri.co... I help hard-working men deepen their relationship, ensure a secure connection and live passionately with their woman without ever sacrificing their own goals.
when in the pursue of letting go of desires and attachments you should ask yourself if you want to be a monk. If you are, continue learning how te let go of everything and transcend all your wordly desires. If you don't want to be a monk, follow this man´s advice, find a way to experience them in a healthy manner, otherwise you'll just be miserable being something you never wanted bc you wanted to stop your pain
I wish I would have found you sooner, so I could’ve saved my relationship and have started to make changes earlier And I would really appreciate talking to you one on one.
ive been battling with myself lately, being scared that my desire for my girlfriend which is both physical and emotional was wrong, because it involved physicality. a lot of people around me seem to mistake lust for desire and i fell trapped, thought i was wrong for wanting to be close with her physically as well, which led me to trying to repress my thoughts and feelings of it and literally almost led me back to pornography. thanks for this video, i will continue to work on my self and understand my desires and feelings more
As long as you value sensual pleasure/lust mentally, you will never be free or have a celibate mind. Valuing sensual pleasure/lust is a requisite of a romantic relationship, you can't have both - you need to choose one. Absolutely right that desexualizing brain will ruin love life, but it's not throwing out the baby with the bath water so to speak - it's the necessary basis to become truly free from sensuality (and suffering in general). People have realized the above for at least 2,500 years - it's no use to be celibate for only brief periods of time with the end goal of returning to the world of sense pleasures - to be free you need to embrace the idea of celibacy for the rest of this life. A measure of how developed you are in this regard is how peaceful your mind is in solitude/boredom.
@@lored6811 This is a fantastic question and it's exactly the type of question you need to meditate on. When you gratuitously assume things as belonging to you (your body/health, loved ones, possessions), you are fueling a gratuitous sense of self/ego. I.e. your sense of self doesn't come first in experience, it is dependent on you constantly fueling it's existence by taking things as yours. You don't own anything completely in this world, ownership implies control, and all things are fundamentally out of your control. All things are transient, meaning they are destined to change over time. So when you take ownership of things, you are making yourself liable to suffering when the things that you gratuitously assume are yours change against your desires. Pain and discomfort are not issues of themselves - that's the entire point. You suffering on account of pain and discomfort is a problem though, because you are fueling a wrong perspective of the way things are/holding onto a contradictory view that things can belong to you. When you meditate/restrain yourself from sensuality enough, you'll realize that pleasure is actually just LESS pain. When you have a desire for pleasure, it exerts a pressure on you (the pain of desire), which compels you to act in a way to relieve that pressure (i.e. pleasurable things are actually just less painful things). In a way, it's a form of racketeering, where your desires create a problem and promise a solution to the problem if you act out upon them. If you look at any pleasurable experience in your life, you'll notice that it's all the same hamburger. The relief you gain from pleasure is temporary, and the desire for MORE sense pleasures is insatiable and endless. Desires arise and cease on their own, and when you consistently assume that they are YOURS and act out upon them, you are behaving the same way as any wild animal and are continuing to fuel your own ignorance and unrestraint. The value of getting rid of suffering is essentially undoing all of your contradictory views/actions. You'll be close to getting rid of suffering when you EMPIRICALLY REALIZE (intellectual understanding is useless) that pain was never the problem, the problem is you taking ownership of the desire to get rid of/resist the pain.
Tldr: suffering is bad because you assume it's bad (by not understanding what suffering actually is). Because you assume it's bad, you naturally want to get rid of it. But to actually get rid of it, you need to stop fueling actions/attitudes that make you liable to suffering (note there's some other things you have to do, but this is the fundamental first step).
@@mechagodzyzzathotobliterat8094even so, this might just kind of boil down to language and its usage. As we all already "download" ourselves for a few centuries and its proven that we share most of our DNA with animals.
Just what i wanted to hear, i was doing alot of Fap before and then years of no fap and i couldnt be normal on the bed once i returned to normal, i was not feeling desire. just anxious actually
![[[OFFICIAL MV]] เอิ้นขวัญให้อ้าย- อ๊ะอาย สกุณาพร | ค่ายเพลงเป็นหนึ่ง](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/83x6L3X3qh0/mqdefault.jpg)
this is exactly what helped me, instead of getting rid of it, I understood it
when in the pursue of letting go of desires and attachments you should ask yourself if you want to be a monk.
If you are, continue learning how te let go of everything and transcend all your wordly desires.
If you don't want to be a monk, follow this man´s advice, find a way to experience them in a healthy manner, otherwise you'll just be miserable being something you never wanted bc you wanted to stop your pain
I wish I would have found you sooner, so I could’ve saved my relationship and have started to make changes earlier
And I would really appreciate talking to you one on one.
Keep this guy away from your rocks
Underrated comment 😂
😂
You only live once, love strongly the people that love you.
ive been battling with myself lately, being scared that my desire for my girlfriend which is both physical and emotional was wrong, because it involved physicality. a lot of people around me seem to mistake lust for desire and i fell trapped, thought i was wrong for wanting to be close with her physically as well, which led me to trying to repress my thoughts and feelings of it and literally almost led me back to pornography. thanks for this video, i will continue to work on my self and understand my desires and feelings more
I know you’re catering to men, haha but I think you may have more female subscribers than you think. Great info, you are wise beyond your years.
You’re so honest man I love it!
yes i aknoweldg desire but at the end i will take over my body so that no one can controll me
this 👆 dont let your lusts control you!
As long as you value sensual pleasure/lust mentally, you will never be free or have a celibate mind.
Valuing sensual pleasure/lust is a requisite of a romantic relationship, you can't have both - you need to choose one. Absolutely right that desexualizing brain will ruin love life, but it's not throwing out the baby with the bath water so to speak - it's the necessary basis to become truly free from sensuality (and suffering in general).
People have realized the above for at least 2,500 years - it's no use to be celibate for only brief periods of time with the end goal of returning to the world of sense pleasures - to be free you need to embrace the idea of celibacy for the rest of this life. A measure of how developed you are in this regard is how peaceful your mind is in solitude/boredom.
why should i want to get rid of suffering
@@lored6811 This is a fantastic question and it's exactly the type of question you need to meditate on.
When you gratuitously assume things as belonging to you (your body/health, loved ones, possessions), you are fueling a gratuitous sense of self/ego. I.e. your sense of self doesn't come first in experience, it is dependent on you constantly fueling it's existence by taking things as yours.
You don't own anything completely in this world, ownership implies control, and all things are fundamentally out of your control. All things are transient, meaning they are destined to change over time. So when you take ownership of things, you are making yourself liable to suffering when the things that you gratuitously assume are yours change against your desires.
Pain and discomfort are not issues of themselves - that's the entire point. You suffering on account of pain and discomfort is a problem though, because you are fueling a wrong perspective of the way things are/holding onto a contradictory view that things can belong to you.
When you meditate/restrain yourself from sensuality enough, you'll realize that pleasure is actually just LESS pain. When you have a desire for pleasure, it exerts a pressure on you (the pain of desire), which compels you to act in a way to relieve that pressure (i.e. pleasurable things are actually just less painful things). In a way, it's a form of racketeering, where your desires create a problem and promise a solution to the problem if you act out upon them.
If you look at any pleasurable experience in your life, you'll notice that it's all the same hamburger. The relief you gain from pleasure is temporary, and the desire for MORE sense pleasures is insatiable and endless.
Desires arise and cease on their own, and when you consistently assume that they are YOURS and act out upon them, you are behaving the same way as any wild animal and are continuing to fuel your own ignorance and unrestraint.
The value of getting rid of suffering is essentially undoing all of your contradictory views/actions. You'll be close to getting rid of suffering when you EMPIRICALLY REALIZE (intellectual understanding is useless) that pain was never the problem, the problem is you taking ownership of the desire to get rid of/resist the pain.
Tldr: suffering is bad because you assume it's bad (by not understanding what suffering actually is). Because you assume it's bad, you naturally want to get rid of it. But to actually get rid of it, you need to stop fueling actions/attitudes that make you liable to suffering (note there's some other things you have to do, but this is the fundamental first step).
@@mechagodzyzzathotobliterat8094even so, this might just kind of boil down to language and its usage. As we all already "download" ourselves for a few centuries and its proven that we share most of our DNA with animals.
I also stopped watching when he talked about booking a session.
Just what i wanted to hear, i was doing alot of Fap before and then years of no fap and i couldnt be normal on the bed once i returned to normal, i was not feeling desire. just anxious actually
A good video brother.❤