Desexualizing Your Brain - Do This ONE THING
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 25 ก.ค. 2024
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training.mantalks.com/Quit
Out of everything I've done, this is one of the simplest and most effective. To be clear, it's not about going abstinence-only or becoming a prude. It's about freeing mental bandwidth and take, taking ownership of my desires, and creating direction in my life. Dig in.
(00:00:00) - Intro, and why this isn’t about being a prude
(00:02:14) - The DBC: Digital Brain Cleanse. Step one, content
(00:06:17) - Step two: contacts
(00:08:15) - Last step: consciousness
***
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Constantly thinking about sex, constantly seeking sexual pleasure, watching porn and having sexual expectations are among the worst forms of mental torture. Finding a way out is a higher form of true freedom.
@@Lexthebarbarian True
The hardest person to break up with is the one you created in your delusional, fantasy-making mind...
Yup
ai entered the chat
YOU're EVERYWHERE! )))
This works. Great advice. I gotta say, taking care of your body makes your hormones go through the roof. It so hard nowadays to not sexualize the girl in the sports bra with tights on, or the girl in the t-shirt with no bra but you have to tell yourself there is something more important. Not checking social media helps tenfold.
Right. Girls didn't wear that crap 30 years ago.
The gym outfits woman wear these days make it hard to not sexual when they are basically doing squats and lunges almost nude. Takes some real fortitude
Also the girls want your attention and assume they can get it by wearing revealing clothing. Only give them attention if they deserve it
But with that excuse do we not hear the voice of Adam. "It was the woman you gave me that led me to sin." We must take responsibility for our sexual desires, not blame others. Some wise words from a man named Father Spyridon. @@conlawmeateater8792
@@conlawmeateater8792You ever seen 80s gym outfits? Yeah it's 40 not 30 years ago but
So important, thank you! I can only tell from my personal experience that when a man doesn't have control over his sexual urges he also struggles with responsibility, focus and self-control in general.
Men who fall for the thirstraps of Low quality women, become low quality themselves.
What kind of responsibility?
What about the guys who fulfill those urges and have no problems with you societal expectations? You mentioned only the ones who, you think, didn't achieve those "goals." There are ppl that pull off indulging in their desires. Drugs, food, social media, etc
That goes for anything. Any thing you over do will lead to deficiencies in other departments of their life, not just sex or the desire of...
While shifting your attention consciously to something else (your third point) I think it is really important to be kind to yourself if you don't succeed. The POINT is that you make an effort and think about why you are trying to shift. When it doesn't work at some random time you do not need to get mad at yourself or feel hopeless. Just try to think about why you want to shift, what you could shift too and what it would look like, and then leave that individual situation for what it is and focus on succesfully shifting the next one.
Yes, view your small steps forward as progress and dust yourself off and pause to think when you have lapses of discipline. Just know that after some success that these dopamine influenced learnings will subside and be unlearned. 30 days of abstaining from activities that have a high slope of dopamine release aka learning. You can start with dopamine unstacking your exercise by not listening to music when you exercise. Not drinking alcohol or adding sweeteners to foods. Use coping mechanisms such as successive periods of time to reach. Walks, water, pushups
Doing intermittent fasting and then periodic extended fasting along with electrolyte supplementation.
Cold plunges or baths for reducing inflammation and increasing your baseline dopamine neuromodulator. This can be difficult at first. Introduce this gradually. Sustainable habits are introduced slowly. Support from people who have done these things previously is very helpful
I shite you not I deleted instagram in COVID.
BUT when i get smitten by someone my brain instantly creates Scenarios like We're already together and all the romaticizing even before talking or saying hello!
This is important to free up energy. Thanks for sharing
I commend all the men wanting to break free from the over sexualized torture they’ve been going through. Proud of all of you and I pray you see freedom soon.
Living in Miami, walking outside is like living in one big thirst trap lol. It’s really challenging when it’s so in my face constantly, not only in social media, but in real life
My wife is one hot MILF at 48. She has been at our condo in Miami for about a month and she keeps going to LA for meetings. I never got jealous , but she has never been away from me this long . She also uses her sensuality to get what she needs in business meetings.
About a year ago I developed terrible jealousy. I keep picturing her with other men.
It makes me nuts . One time when she was half a sleep I asked her if “ he goes down on her as good as me” and she said “no one does”. Freaked me outs.
Also , freaked me out when she says she is taking a nap at 11pm, but then says she did not get to sleep until 6 Am.
Truth is she is at the condo. Even my therapist says I put it all in my head !
Guess you’re moving into the woods my guy!
@@blerriegerrie haha I guess so. It can be rough out there
That's sort of what I don't agree with about this. It covers up the problem rather than addressing it.
Girls are not going to stop wearing yoga pants
i love Miami everyone gives me there attention
Super important stuff! Let’s blow this one up along with the entire channel!😎Great work as always and thank you!!
Yes. A well integrated and grounded sexuality can be a great source of bliss and vitality. If it’s outside your control, it can be genuine hell.
Great advice man! Simple and to the point very down to earth no nonsense stuff
Much appreciated thank you again
Awesome vid, thank you. I'm still benefitting from the "pseudo-relationship" idea re porn you soke about, a month or two back. Keep THIS content coming, please.
Great stuff. Much needed
This is very timely. Very helpful. I will go one step further and add a step some of us, for sure me, might need: complete reboot, as in a retreat. Full monk mode to reset the messed prefrontal cortex and dopa deluge.
Lots of useful and actionable tips in here. Really appreciate your work! 🙏
I needed this I’m so over sexualised, I can’t help but think of sex when see an attractive women, sometimes even 50% attractive, this also comes with smoking buds which ruins your inhibitions I remember before I smoked I used to be really solid at not thinking about ex etc
Glad it hit home brother. The bud will definitely have an effect on what you’re talking about. Maybe something to look at
Oh yeah bro, weed took me down a dark path. A lot of my inner dark shit came up over the years of becoming more and more addicted to it. Everytime I smoked up, I just relapsed on my other two big addictions (bigger of which was PMO and the other which was a weed exclusive was overconsuming junk food). Get clean if it has stopped serving you. It is self sabotage to continue smoking when you have been told by the weed plant regularly that you need to address these issues it has brought up for you. All the best.
This definitely works, I've been doing it for spiritual purposes for about half a year now. I fall short when it comes to sexual content I've been conditioned to consume, but autocorrecting has been helping me. I just deleted my bookmarks containing all the junk that puts me the rabbit hole. Here's to pursuing greater things, productivity and never looking back.
You're such a big help of getting out of this swamp..but god it's hard. Thanks for what you do
Good stuff, man!
Great video man !
Damn. So I needed to hear this. Thanks man
One of the oddest paradox, or maybe not a paradox at all…, is that when you stop caring about women and looking at them they know and they look at and want you instead.
This was invaluable, thank you.
Great video, what is the best part about it for me is what you said at the end - "taming the beast" so that you can use it how you want. One part that I would be weary of is when you said that if you catch yourself having those sexual thoughts and image making, to immediately redirect yourself somewhere else, which I think could lead to certain level of repression which can be bad a bit later when those urges come tumbling out and take you by surprise. I think it's maybe instead useful to feel what comes up in the body without judging it, giving it a bit of time and not reacting to it in any way by thinking "I must go and act out this urge". Just be with it and feel it. . I think then it would naturally dissipate.
Great video, thank you for posting your method. I will use it to work on my issues regarding sexual content addiction.
The algorithms these days are designed in such a way that you are repeatedly lured with sexual content out of nowhere. Because it's what works best.
You have to realize that our attention is the commodity. It is something very sought after and it costs us the only thing we truly have: time
its all thirsttraps and ragebait
It ramps up at night time (the vulnerable time) too. That algorithm is smart.
Look at your feed…That’s what your mind is attracted to.- not the other way around. Your feed tells you what you like to consume
Very helpful, Thank you 🙏
IVE been celibate for 30 years but I need this for the misery of politics and all the world news now I'm looking at kittens 🥰🐱
Three steps, the first two I figured out on my own, but the last one is super helpful. In the same way that we go back to breathing when we are distracted during meditation, we need to train our mind away from sexualizing everything we see in the moment. It's the same practice as meditation, thank you for your videos... I'm gonna give step three a try.
Step 1 and 2 has been somewhat easy. Step 3 has turned out to be harder than I anticipated
Great video, it's true that you need to cut off the temptation of that sexual content even thirst traps and stuff that you might not think is porn but is actually just as unhealthy as it leads to more. Also refocusing is definitely the next step of not objectifying women but as you say looking away and thinking about something else is crucial becuase there is plenty of attractive women in the world you have to change yourself becuase you can't change the world.
I'm really at a loss why some women oversexualize their appearance, if they don't want the men's attention.
It seems like the guys they are look to get attention from, are the ones who will pay no attention to their appearance.
Like men are supposed to notice, but not show or care.
Women want attention and validation as much as men.
Great vid! We’re not sexual beings, we’re human beings! In my opinion. Nobody thinks they have a problem or an addiction until they try to stop that behavior!
Good video.
The realest
This was good thanx
Preach brother
I'm pretty much on the last step. The gym is definitely a tough place. If my situation allowed for it I would go to a men's only gym. But I don't have access to such a gym. Sometimes, I'll close my eyes and do some breathing exercises in between sets. Of course, it's impossible to never look, but I do my best not to.
There are some people who won't get why you would want to desexualize your brain because they are too in to their sex addiction. They will view it as a fun-killer boring munk life. Those who say you are anti-sex are not ready to to let go of their addiction yet.
Thank you I’m a prisoner of Fetish porn all my life and for once I want a relationship to win back my freedom. Thank you for the wisdom and support. I’m glad in 2024 there is a voice to help us of a lost generation of porn addicts.
Truth. I am speaking of sexual addiction and how it can take over you and ruin your life. I have been an addict for 40 years and I can't tell you the negative impact on every aspect of your life, physically, emotionally, and mentally. I thought it was a victimless act but nothing could be further from the truth. Your girlfriend, or wife, can never compete with these women. Intimacy is destroyed, and you can't stay focused. I am in a purity group, only because I recognized the destruction it caused in my marriage. I always thought I could stop, that I have control. You don't. Seek help. Just like an addiction, your life becomes hijacked. You end up wasting your life in fantasy and seeking the next rush.
I unfollowed a woman I shared a few kisses with and have been flirtatious on other occasions but nothing serious. ANYWAYS, we hadn't talked in months, and she calls me 20 mins after the unfollow.... coincidence? 🤷♂️😅
The devil often sends someone from your past to mess with your future.
Nice 👍
Quitting the gym helps too, it was way way way over the top with the distraction. I was auto correcting non stop at the Y. I felt like a perv
Was actually doing very well with this, but then a whirlwind of a narcissist lady came into my life.
The second we start on a true path, the devil comes in to temp us. Started this year off with so much momentum in different areas until, like you, the girl showed up. Promiscuity, narcissism, and attention seaking. Hard to break an on and off situationship of 8 years tho smh
The third was what broke my porn addiction of over a decade. The fantasizing is what really gets you, because that’s what follows you around all day. Also, try to separate “hot” girls from “attractive” girls and give your attention to the ones that you actually find attractive (not just looks but the whole package)
you got any other tips? Trying to de sexualize after over a decade of that as well..
@@tcggggg A couple years ago I went off to college and realized that I needed to be more focused than porn was allowing me to be to survive. I basically went cold turkey for about 4 months out of panic. I then started to realize that I was starting to feel really good from lack of porn use. I have since relapsed a bit off and on, but I have in my head that image of how it feels to be free. That’s what keeps me going now, knowing that there is a place that I can get to where it doesn’t rule my life. So, maybe just tell yourself that “I can go back to using after like 90 days or something completely clean” and try it. Convince yourself there is a “promised land” by traveling there for a little while, just to see how it feels. I’m rooting for you bro we all are 👊
but how do i know the whole package , if i am being smitten by the attractive ones..
and it turns out those Betches are absolute trash!
Let's be real, the only way most of you will ever beat your addiction is getting rid of your phone altogether.
If someone needs a more radical tool, in Buddhism there's a practice called Asubha (impurity) where you contemplate the ugly parts of the body. Puss, organs, flem, blood, excrement, bones, sinews.. just everything that's sort of off-putting about the body that you're attracted to. Making you realize that you can't separate the attractive parts from the unattractive ones in reality.
It's something you should be careful with but I've found it effective.
🤣camping hacks! Same that’s hilarious man you’re a funny guy
It's not easy. Most men start thinking of sex before they ever see porn, as young as 5, 6 years old. For me, it was the back of Sears Magazines and classmates that awakened my desires. But yeah, 100%, it's hard to desexualize what the brain naturally does.
I’d add the more masculine energy you have the less you’re affected by these impulses and the more you can control. Just try to making a masculine posture and you’ll feel notice the difference instantly
Actually I would go as far to say that you should reduce social media consumption dramatically. Even if you cut out the dirty junk you will developed alternate bad habits.
A question. Is it okay to simply change the way I interact with my friend, who I kind of like and have flirted with a little?
Delete all social media including dating apps. I know its easy for me to say when I delete all of them I usually go back to them which is hard especially when youre a month into not going back to them. For me when i have a hard time once in a blue moon I always try to do something to keep my mind off of sexual desires, sexual temptations, and women period.
This guy's got his act together.Others don't.If they followed his act the rape rate,chimo rate prostitution rate,juman sex trafficking rate,pornography rate&adulyery tate would be vut by probably three quarters.KEEP GOING,DUDE!!!!!!!
What about being in a relationship where your partner doesn’t have the same libido as you? I’m trying to control my sexual urges when my partner is not in the mood. It’s so hard because I get frustrated. I’m trying to be in synch and be grounded but I get angry and frustrated.
Sex is overated.
Dare to be exceptional.
Dare to be Uncommon!
@mantalks as a married man, you have sexual contacts in your phone?
No, I did this process before I met my wife.
I'll get right on it, Chief! By the way, one's never too old...
I ended up deleting my reddit account. Way too easy to find stuff I shouldn't be looking at.
For me understanding the religious explanation guilt aspect of lust. The bodies original purpose was to be a veil for us to hide from god. When you seek excessive pleasure through the body you reinforce limitation and life ending when we are infinite beings. God will provide your partner and you will know. The term guilty pleasure makes more sense. Guilt that we left gods love.
That is somewhat my own thinking. It's not wrong or bad sexuality. However if I am able to think. I'd prefer to think about higher cognitive functions. Not wasting my time thinking about sex.
It's not denying what I am, But integrating it.
Epictetus is a great philosopher that helped me
👍
There seems to be no end to sexualized media these days. It's really, really bad.
You want to fight nature ? "Desexualizing" ??? Like deshining the sun or degravitizing the earth ? What trip are you guys on ? Girlfriends always said sexuality is such a beautiful gift of nature to mankind.
We don’t live in the Stone Age any more, this is 2024, over sexualizing your brain is one of the worst things you can do when it comes to self improvement. This argument just makes no sense to me, there are plenty of things that are biologically wired into us that don’t serve a purpose in our current society. Again, there is nothing wrong with being sexual, it’s part of us, the problem is how over sexualized our current society is, there are too much negatives that come with it and a lot of men including me see it, it’s simply cheap dopamine that crashes us in the long run.
Read God's word
I wish I did this before I got remarried. She went through my phone and freaked. I had not looked at any photos and had not contacted any woman, but she got so pissed at me.
She is 14 years younger than me, and gorgeous. I have seen men stop cars for her… she even said that when she got engaged she deleted and blocked any guy that had an interest in her ! I felt so ashamed!
Omg 😮 truly loving woman bro. Never leave her.
Yeah you probs should feel ashamed. And never put up a fight to unfollow these girls. Just do it and do it everything you can before having to ask her.
Don’t you think telling men to suppress their deepest desires may create shame over having it in the first place? It’s pretty much saying who you are is not good, and you need to fix it even though it’s completely natural.
Please make at least an attempt at listening to what he says in the video
@@lukehardin9 I watched the whole video. Please feel free to elaborate and try to answer my question instead of the passive aggressive BS.
@@lukehardin9 that passive aggressive thing you do is much more problematic in your life than your sexual energy
The point is to gain your power back, to be deliberate and in charge of your libido. It isn't bad to have sexual desires, the problem is when you are not the one in control and those desires and messing with other parts of your life. A lot of fixation on sex is learned through repeated exposure, just changing the content you watch and how you interact with the world will give you space to not let your instincts control you when you don't want it.
@@luciocastro1418 ahh I see, the only thing that’s helped me take care of that desire is actually taking care of that desire 😉 lol idk if I’d be that much better off if I resisted that urge or how I’d be better off.
What’s wrong with purity culture?
First time I’ve heard of it.
The problem (it is a blessing actually) is that women have an auto-correct process as well that guarantees procreation. Women are designed to attract men just like a flower is designed to attract bees (although most women will say that they are making themselves prettier/sexier not for men but just for themselves = which is of course only partially true). Even if men would try to go their own way (which I believe is not possible) then women will go through rapid evolutionary changes to become even more attractive. In fact. I believe this is why they already look completely different (much more seductive) than woman 100 years ago. There was a study with dogs which showed that dogs are rapidly evolving to look more cute so to get more care from their owner. This applies to the female species as well. My suggestion is to find a partner who sees the teachings of Jesus as the highest truth. A Biblical Christian girl. Even then there's no guarantee. But I believe it is better to choose a woman that wants to abide the the teachings of Jesus as a woman who is irreligious. That will increase the likelihood that your life will be a little bit easier.
It's easy for anyone between 0-teen and 50 and above because all your hormones disappear at menopause and andropause. I had very early postmenopause at 48 , because of surgery, and I literally have no interest in sex at all anymore. It's foreign these days.
WONDERFULLY QUIET. 🌸😂
Several years ago, I had a friend that I had a very... "flirtatious" relationship with, but I knew that trying to pursue a real romance would have been wildly appropriate with her. Cool person, fun hang, very intelligent, juusssst a little too forward for what I was comfortable with. I was able to lay down a boundary and tell her what I was and was not comfortable with, and that I'd much prefer to keep being friends. She eagerly accepted that offer without any hesitation, and we remained good friends for the next few years before the friend group all went their separate ways.
I tell the story because I think cold-turkey cutting off your contacts is needlessly harsh. Some women, some times, are trying to leverage sexual energy for attention because it's the only way they think they'll get a man's attention at all. As males, I think it's on us to rewrite that narrative for the benefit of everyone.
Starts with better and present father's imo
@@jayteeveener Better and present fathers are the solution to E V E R Y T H I N G
"Female contacts..." I don't this advice applies to incels like me .
I have no idea what you are talking about.
What is Only Fans?
Oh sweet summer child
Only for the fans a fan store :)
Idk why these guys didn’t answer you. Only Fans is a website for subscription-based porn content.
@@samautrey heeeey !
@@samautrey - Thanks! I'll check it out.
Get a load of guy! He’s like, “Go through your contacts and block ALL the women that you’ve slept with and had sexual interactions with.”
Bro wut
Why are we neutering ourselves? because society tells us to?
No-One said anything about neutering ourselves. This is more about self-leadership and being able to direct your sexual energy VS having it out of control and constantly distracting you. This may not be applicable to you, but for a lot of men, their sexual energy rules and runs their life.
@@ManTalks no my sexual energy absolutely plays a big part in my life. I just don’t understand why it’s such a bad thing. I’ve watched a lot of no fap TH-cam content I never get a good answer as to why having so much sexual energy is so bad. It’s one of our deepest desires as men. If I’m controlling it, so I can go make money and focus on things that bring in revenue to me That’s not a good enough reason I don’t care about money.
@@ManTalks I’m genuinely asking I’m not throwing shade and I appreciate all all of your content
@@AaronD313 No Shade taken man. Many men struggle with their sexual desires and consumes their time, attention, focus, etc. It distracts them from pursuing their goals or ambitions, and can become their sole focus. For some men, porn and sexual content can take over and is not a help, but a hindrance. It's not about "making more money", it's about having self-respect and not feeling out of control whenever you have a sexual urge or impulse. So many men feel at the whim of their sexual impulses which has a net negative impact on their relationships, finances, health and more. Having a healthy sex drive isnt a problem, nor should any man castrate himself (metaphorically or otherwise) as our sex drive is an incredibly important part of who we are as men.
@@ManTalks that’s understandable. I appreciate your feedback and am grateful for your YT channel. I’ve gotten out of a lifelong rut recently (daily pot smoker for 20 years, no more 🙏 ) and I dealt with the negative emotions I’ve been suppressing and your content has been very helpful. Thanks bro ❤️
Balance. It is okay to be a reproductive animal. We ha e harmones that we cant control. I dont like this whole dehumanizing a person for everone else's expectations.
What do men gain by repressing these feelings?
Bro it’s not okay. I’d almost day it’s not normal, but it probably is. Seeing the level of hurt I’ve caused people just from being a “reproductive animal”. I don’t even think I have this as bad as some. I convinced myself this was out of my control, but that’s garbage. It’s so prolific in our society it gets normalised, but never have we had so much of this shit shoved in our face on a day to day basis. In the 1900’s guys would see a big of ankle or neck and go crazy; how far have we gone to realise we gotta bring it back big time. I didn’t realise how much of a problem I had, until I actively tried to not sexualise women. The more I try and stop, the more my demons fight back 10 fold. I honestly thought I had balance, I couldn’t have been more wrong. I respect your opinion though 🙏🏼🫡
For me,. motivation and just more happy in general. I'm able to laugh again. It's true,. There are cheeks everywhere. On ads, the explore page. Which causes guys watch the corn. Which isn't good. It caused me to waste my 20s away. Now I'm 28, been on semen retention for 3 months. Have women absolutely looking at me like they want to strip off my clothes whenever I go into public. The motivation and happiness I've been having has been off the charts. Finally trying to start up my own business and meeting new people. Zero social anxiety, I never really had it too bad but now I can give great eye contact to anyone. You aren't afraid of what anyone thinks of you. It's amazing. Most people deep down care how people perceive them but not on this journey! I could give a rats ass about how somebody looks at me. The confidence is unreal too. I've been focusing on myself lately but I'll go and approach any woman I feel now because I don't care if I get rejected, getting rejected feels good and I know I'll never see her again anyways so why not. Most men are too scared to approach women when deep down they are probably looking at you hoping you do, then they slip away never to be seen again!
No offense, but it sounds weird hearing this from a grown-up man. Neither I nor any man I know has these sexualized content on their phones. A 14 year old? Maybe. But an adult??
No offense taken. I’m glad this isn’t something you deal with, however it’s something many men deal with regardless of age.
@@ManTalks Got it. I guess we are all addicted to something.
Whenever any man sees a woman, if he cannot attain her within 3 minutes, the body will suffer the consequences, which r, u didn't succeed. This is what stresses the shit out of the body. When the chemistry is there, the connection happens almost immediately. This goes both ways!
Why is porn free ? Because it destroys the family unit in many ways
It makes men weak incels, instead of going out finding mates men stay at home self pleasure.
what a load of nonsense.
Very low level video
We need to abolish the constructs of “relationships” and “boyfriend and girlfriend”.
what, no, we should reinforce it to get population growth up again instead of this eternal atomisation
So, just courting to marriage? I dig it but that's a tall order
Why
@@123SuperBeast yes.
@BGFitnessNY "relationship" is a general term, btw. Like platonic. Little silly/ impossible to abolish.
This is easy, it’s the naked men that’s the challenge to give up
Great vid! We’re not sexual beings, we’re human beings! In my opinion. Nobody thinks they have a problem or an addiction until they try to stop that behavior!