He's not saying, "Go watch right now!" He's explaining the downsides of losing to cravings when you try to stop enitrely immediately. If you're beating the addiction, stick to it.
@@SergiusXVII It serves as a warning to commenters that have just read the title and are coming to comment something about it without watching the video.
I overcame my crystal meth addiction by learning about addiction, chemistry and psychology. I applied everything I learned, i socially transplanted myself, slowely weened off of it, but when i really got severe cravings I willingly gave in and i increased the time between doses progressively. I also lowered the doses over time as well. One thing that also helped was always carry a gram of it with me as a memento mori and i never took from that bag. When i felt ready, snd that was at a completely random moment at a party, i simply threw it out. Now i am clean for two years. I do not have any urges, just memories i know i can never relive. EDIT: God damn guys! Thank you so much for the kind words! And for anyone else struggling with addiction, I and many others stand by you, you are not alone and will succeed eventually. Keep at it and dont forget your goal!
I only really feel the urge to watch porn when im chronically bored and or lonely. I used to believe porn addiction was a real thing, but once i got to a better place in life and practically over night the desire to watch porn basically vanished, i realized porn use was a symptom of the problem, not the problem itself.
Porn is only a problem if you have a problem in the first place. Millions of people watch porn every day, but it only becomes a problem for a minority of those people.
@@keremcantarhan I question how many of those consumers have ever sincerely considered the nature of their habit and attempted to stop, just to see if they could.
@@keremcantarhan Yes exactly. Self-awareness is not in abundance in society, neither is introspection. Every addict who has woken up to the reality of their situation at one time believed it not to be an issue, denial is powerful. As for the people who have control over their usage, there is still something to be said of how porn has severely damaged the way men view sex and women, but that is a different conversation. "The first step in solving any problem is recognizing there is one"
@@danielflanard8274 For something to be an addiction, it has to be harmful/disruptive to your daily life per definition. Otherwise, you can do it every day for the rest of your life and it's not an addiction.
Our brain is like a child who's trying to get what they want. If you let a child cry, and then give in, that child knows that's how long they need to cry to get what they want.
great analogy here, because sometimes the child actually has another need that isn't being met, and if you can ensure that you will meet that need at a later point, then you can be more consistent with not giving in to supplying them unhealthy coping mechanisms!
Just beat it, beat it, beat it, beat it No one wants to be defeated Showin' how funky and strong is your fight It doesn't matter who's wrong or right Just beat it (Beat it) Beat it (Beat it)
The "scheduling" thing is _exactly_ what I did to get over my addiction. Unfortunately I didn't have any external help, but I figured that setting progressively stricter limits on how often I could do it was much more realistic than quitting overnight, and although there were times when I wasn't able to respect said limits and I felt terribly guilty about it, in the end I managed to slowly take back control of my mind and body. If you're in the same situation as I was, then don't give up, your efforts will pay off in the long term!
hey, congrats on getting over your addiction!! I am curious on how long you have stayed clean for and what other things did you do to get over the addiction?
@@Dhr_v I was in my mid-teens, so unfortunately I could only resist for a couple months at a time before hormones would get the better of me, but even though that might not count as completely "clean", I didn't feel like it was controlling my life anymore and I was satisfied with where I'd gotten. Nowadays I hardly feel the need to do it at all due to hormonal changes, but it should be noted that I'm a special case in that regard, so your mileage may vary. Sadly I can't remember doing anything else in particular to overcome it. I just slowly but surely made progress towards my goal until it wasn't really a problem anymore.
Genuinely, this is how I've reduced my sugar intake, without even really knowing it. It just felt right to give myself grace. I would have a craving for the oreos in the other room, so I would get up, go in there, and just sit in front of them for a little bit. I would think about the process of opening the package, eating them, and enjoying them. I think about how many I want to grab and how I don't want a stomach ache from eating too many, and also how I want them to last so I can have some next time too. Then, I decide on 3-4, and sometimes I grab 5-6, and I laugh and eat them and go back to the other room. Each time I had more control and now the craving only happens every once in a while!
@@christopherlamott9351 For me, I have relatively strong will power. If I want to get off of something, I just have to want it bad enough, and I'm able to. I'm not saying it's not a struggle. But I don't think I struggle as much as most people do. I realize the first 2-3 days especially are really hard to fight off. But I also realize that if you get past those first 2-3 days of stopping your addiction, whatever it is, it becomes significantly easier to continue to stop it. What is harder for me, personally, is weening myself off. That method, for me, actually just makes me give more excuses to keep doing it for longer. For me, it's more about fighting your willpower, it's about knowing how to say no, no matter how strong the urge is. A psychologist once said that if you can sit through the feeling of anxiety, unease, or urge and realize it goes away, your life gets a lot easier to quit anything you want. I love soda. It's incredibly hard for me to quit that, but I'm able to. The issue for me is, I simply do not want to. And that's my problem. So I've decided 1 soda a day is my limit, and I mostly stick to it. The rest of my day is plain water. If you go a full week without soda, you won't even want soda anymore. I went weeks without soda before, and the sugar coating oyur tongue actually becomes unpleasant. I'm not sure if this method is the method for you or others reading this, but it's what works for me.
@bingbong2721 I recommend watching the video, my guy. If you're certain of a conclusion with minimal evidence, you're probably more likely to be wrong. I assume he means that you should improve your own life elsewhere rather than simply remove the coping mechanism... because that's what it is, drugs and behaviours and cravings exist to suppress suffering, just try and take the bottle from the alcoholic- if you succeed, which you probably won't, but if you do... see what happens. They'll be jittery. Annoyed. Physiological responses; nausea, headaches, etc; Withdrawals. Compare that to being put in an environment where alcohol is LESS gratifying than quality socialisation (replace fellow alcoholic friends with sober friends, you'll notice they won't have NEARLY the same amount of cravings) studying for a purpose, learning engaging hobbies, etc. You'll be less likely to crave, more likely to put the bottle down yourself. Don't resist; Divert attention and intention. Watch the video, compare our assumptions.
I’m a licensed addiction counselor in CA and one of the most effective treatments for porn addiction I’ve found is address touch starvation. Many people (mostly men) I work with who have PA often don’t know they’re craving basic affection and use porn and masturbation as ways to simulate and inmate affectionate experience. One exercise that I asked someone to do was literally ask his friends for a hug.
It's actually obvious. You don't have to be an addiction counselor in CA to understand it. The problem is that the vast majority of guys don't have a girlfriend, a normal family, or normal friends
That makes so much sense and yet is so incredibly disheartening. Most of us aren’t even craving sexual pleasure merely the simple feeling of warmth that comes from hugging someone who love us.
When I quit drinking I read Allan Carr’s “quit drinking without willpower” The book starts off by saying you can have a drink while reading, and you don’t have to stop until you want, but by the end of the book you will not want it anymore. This seems similar.
Interestingly enough going to rehab and AA/similar programs never helped me curb my drinking (never bought into never drinking again). What helped me the most was not shying away from drinking but changing my mindset around it. That and not wanting to fall while holding my kids or something. But yeah I have a healthy relationship with drinking now, I do it when I want (which is not often, maybe a couple of times per year) and never more than 2 by choice. It's not "fun".
When he said something like “we don’t really know how people quit on their own” I thought about my journey quitting marijuana and it aligned with the things he was talking about in the second half of the video. It was all about a) redirecting when I had cravings, going on my porch for a few minutes, turning on a movie or video game, or writing down a list of reasons why I didn’t want to continue smoking, and b) getting a purpose in life. I chose my dogs as my purpose, making them happy, and instead of smoking I’ll do a training session with them instead, and the increase in their energy and tail wagging is so gratifying.
I remplaced my addiction with sport every morning, journaling BUT in the first place I just smoked RAW CBD wich was disgusting because to me tabacoo was the reason why I'd smoke 10g of mari juana an eveninf alone I felt like it. Because mari juana feels nice AND I was reaaaaally addicted to tabaco. Smoking raw Cbd is so useless and bruh that my brain said Ok you've had your dose but also, don't so it again please (with enough time) and mostly because doing anything else felt better
Thanks for this! I will never be able to get a friend (and definitely never get a date or girlfriend) but I CAN get a pet. If that’s enough purpose for you, maybe it will be for me.
He is trying to tempt people so that they stay in the cycle of hedonism, making then weak, so that they can become more effective consumers of his “content”. Disgusting.
If you experience hyperphantasia, there isn’t always a clear divide between “watching porn” and losing yourself in arousing fantasy. Your mind makes porn of the world and remembers it vividly in the perpetual theater of your mind.
Then play video games lol. Not the most productive thing but its not the worst thing ever and may be enriching if with friends or trying out new genres@@richardmccabe2392
I'm an alcoholic and can back this method up. I'm not even really trying to quit, but lately it's been horrible, so I had to like make hard line rules like "not until this time, do all of that first, stop drinking at work (yes, it was that bad), and try to drink socially more. Surprisingly, I definitely cut back and it was mostly effortless.
I don’t drink anymore but when I needed to quit, I first cut back like you’re describing. I made rules for myself like light beer only, no drinking until 7 pm and in bed by 10:30, no more than 6 beers a night. Then it reduced to just weekends and drinking socially until finally I stopped for good. Knowing that I still could drink but not as much as before made it a lot easier to eventually get sober. Best of luck to you if you do ever decide to fully quit, but it’s great that you’ve learned to moderate.
what worked for me is setting rules of where I'm allowed to buy alcohol. This is a big deal since I walk everywhere. So if I want a drink I'm not allowed to buy from the gas station 10 minutes away, instead I have to walk an hour to the bar or to the liquor store and suddenly getting alcohol becomes more trouble than it's worth and the craving goes away.
This is a great video on behavioral addiction overall. Definitely didn’t know that the more you resist and fail, the worse your cravings will be. Planning to use these techniques for technology use in general.
i recently quit all my addictions, smoking, watching porn, staring in the mirror, binge eating, acne-picking, etc. I have barely any cravings to do any of them and i’m 100% certain it’s because I live alone now. I was constantly surrounded by my toxic family who put me down everyday, but now they’re all out the house, and i’m the only one here. When trying to quit an addiction, like he says, ur environment is the biggest factor. U can’t heal if ur constantly being damaged.
The book Atomic Habits talks about this heavily because the environment is a giant factor in building habits, both good or bad. You, as the architect of your environment, moved out of a place of stress which stemmed directly from your environment, therefore removing all the stressors needed to signal your brain to engage in those bad habits in the first place. So you created your own environment and you did it my guy🎉🎉. Proud of you fam.
Basically, it's better to build our passive resistance via lifestyle/mindset change than it is to rely on active resistance via thought-stopping and temporary environment change.
Samsara. If life is suffering, why engage in it? I don't think Sisyphus would be happy if he's actually aware of his situation. One must imagine Sisyphus pissed.
One thing I am struggling with is knowing that the environment I have no control over is damaging me, but I will need to wait out and keep doing what I am doing to have a chance to change where I am. Also I like my job but it would require me to stay where I am, where I am unhappy because of constant noise (and resulting fatigue), neglected youths and anonymity. And if I fantasize about where I would like to be, I can't find an answer even on the dream level where any place in the world and anything from a tiny apartment to a grand mansion is possible. I often think to myself subconsciously that I want to go "home", but I don't know where that is or what it means. I guess to sum it up, how to feel at home in life?
THANK SO MUCH, THIS IS TOTALLY WORKING. I can not believe, man. It's just like a gym. You have to do a progress overload, i started with 24 hour's without porn, after 1 day i could watch without shame, after some time i increased the time to 3 days without porn, the time was passing and my brain was becoming more and more better in not thinking about porn. Now, i can control myself. THANK SO MUCH❤❤❤ [English is not my first language]
I wish I had had this piece of advice to "set aside a time to watch porn" before brute forcing my way out of addiction. The way I beat my porn addiction was by pairing up with a good friend and agreeing to tell each other every time we watch porn. It was extremely uncomfortable for both of us but we both got there in the end. Not everyone is lucky enough to have such a supportive friend, so this piece of Dr. K advice is fantastic.
If you have to tell which kind of porn you're gonna watch even without going into specifics, you would resist even more. Just saying it's something from Japan and your friend wouldn't have to guess much.
People who are good at delayed gratification are known to be much more successful in life and I want to be more successful, so I'm viewing my addiction as an obstacle between me and my dreams. So whenever I reach a certain goal, I allow myself to engage in the addiction once. This simple frame allowed me to no longer be engaged in the addiction every day (or even multiple times per day), instead it's easy to stay 'clean' for weeks. Sure the urges are still there but recognizing that it's an urge and knowing that you shouldn't betray yourself makes everything easier.
When I used p as the reward to completing something more valuable (working our or making music) I felt like I found a good reward system the more I delayed gratification the easier it was to just skip, but still keeping working out or making music in my routine
Honestly thanks for making the thumbnail so eye catching. Also thanks for making this about addiction, not the evil of p0rn. It makes it feel better to pursue the information.
It’s always better to replace corn with a new habit, because since your brain needs stimulation, you can’t just go from hyper stimulation to none at all, that’s how you start counting days instead of making the most of them
For me the "secret" to quiting was moving toward a greater goal. I set a vision of what and who i wanted to be and for me I connected it to my God-given and God-sanctioned mission here on earth. And a part of that was physical health, which means going to sleep early, waking up early and exercising. It also means eating less and eating healthier. And between work, kids and doing that, it just doesn't leave a lot of time for porn. Then once i learned what it can do to you energy, focus and motivation levels when you stop masturbating, i was totally "cured" of my addiction. I don't "resist" porn; I'm just doing something else right now. Something that's more meaningful to me.
“If you devote your whole life to completely avoiding something you like, then that thing still controls you” - Stan Marsh, South Park (Context about Alcohol) This was one of my first South Park episodes I’ve watched, and this advice made it one of my favourites. It’s amazing how one your patients brought up South Park too because I find it amazing at how well constructed their lessons actually are.
Great episode. I think it's spot on that the real willpower, or as South Park puts it, disciprine, isn't in resisting your demons but in moderating them. It's easy to run away from addiction, but that doesn't actually work. What's much harder and much more effective is developing the ability to engage in the addictive behaviour without losing control.
This is a fantastic insight on managing addiction that took me quite a long time to understand and accept as most people absolutely do not understand and socially expect the harmful opposite, that people must just push really hard constantly to "will" addiction away.
You are the first person I've EVER seen to explain my chronic stomach aches back in the 1st/2nd grade. I'm 33. Wow, applauds for you sir. It was my brain the whole time!
the last part is important, thanks for mentioning that you need a reason to stop addictions like this because even if you beat it you still havent changed your enviroment and its really easy to fall back into it
I like how this video is framed in such a way as to give people hope. I think that's the most important psychological factor to address, and you do a really good job of it toward the end. Also, glad to know what I've been doing is actually the right method. Sometimes it does just feel like I'm failing, but if I look at the overall amount of time spent watching porn over the last year, it's significantly lower than the year prior. I have an addict in the family and the info here helps with that, too. Thank you.
Dr. K is by far the best mental health content creator, this is all literally so helpful to hear. He feels like a REAL person too not just a doctor, makes it come through to me a lot better.
The help this man has given me through his videos is wild. all of these tips he gives up all the time can be applied in so many different places and has helped me turn my life around.
For those confused or jumping to conclusions, he's saying when it comes to porn addiction a good strategy to quitting is a controlled moderation approach to slowly get off it. Quitting cold turkey with anything can make the addiction stronger, especially if we're not ready or strong enough to give it up yet.
I get to notice this video RIGHT AFTER watching corn and feeling like I shouldn't have done it, lmao. It's scary how this channel provides the exact content I need every single time
Holy shit man you worded my thought process when struggling with addiction literally verbatim. Im so glad i found this video, please keep doing what you are doing
I love dr.Ks content 😂. He basically baits people with his over-the-top titles & thumbnails, and then proceeds to give you a half an hour lecture on Addiction psychology 😂😂😂
This is great. Gives some surface level tools to addicts to just tone it down. Setting a schedule is a great practice. Like he said, the real issue behind the addition is not that you're looking at porn but the effects of hardcore addicts wasting all their spare time doing nothing but that. Or failing to build a meaningful life and filling the void with porn. Non-addicts look at porn, sometimes even regularly.
@@john_g_hendersonplease state these arguments complete with the links to scientific studies because I’ve been using them since I was a teen and I’m now 30+ with no major issues in life. I’ll wait.
@@LiftPizzas I’m the kind of person that doesn’t watch P that much, maybe 10-20 minutes a day max, and even if I don’t have an addiction, it still feels like a need to “discharge” (coupled with M). And it feels disgusting to watch P, I’ve always been not too fond of it. Either way, it’s better not to watch P than to watch it. Nothing good about it. P and M contribute nothing to my life, it’s a waste of my time and emotional energy… I’d prefer to have a relationship with a real woman, and P and M are sort of a crappy substitute. Also, isn’t it enough to qualify as addiction if it directly influences your life in a negative way? Consumption rate doesn’t even matter that much? I study and socialise occasionally, so I’n not that unsuccessful in life, but I feel like eliminating P and M from it would only improve it
@Cresimi I didn't say it is. I asked if there are any good arguments that it is harmful which are independent of cultural attitudes about sex. Or are you trying to say that all videos are harmful regardless of what they contain, like a squirrel hopping around with an acorn, that's harmful too? Or does it (in these "good arguments" that were mentioned but not specified) become harmful when the video contains sex?
When we try to use our willpower and like Dr. K said resist our cravings there's a part of ourselves in our mind that agrees with the idea of a relapse and resisting the craving or trying to use willpower to ignore it will only make it harder in the future. Instead what we need to do is have an open conversation with corn and yourself to realize that corn is lying and is not there for you. It will temporarily fill the void in our lives but it only makes it larger. I read very similar things from an author called Celibate Yogi and his book completely changed me it was a very short read and very informative, i recommend it to anyone who's struggling with corn
@@TheDalekCaan_He _is_ talking about corn. I am an Iowa corn farmer and this menace has wrecked havoc on our crops for years and is well known in our local farming community. Hell I've had to decontaminate my fields 13 times this month alone because of the unspeakble things he's done. He must be stopped!
Find "healthy distractions" sport, art, design, or manual crafts etc the healthy distractions will make you so passionate in your flow state that "healthy distractions" will distract you from "unhealthy distractions". So this way you will teach your brain to be passionate about healthy hobbies. Ed Mylett said a few years ago in some video. Be passionate about some hobby that, it will distract you from other distractions.
13:02 Dr. K is absolute right about this. I came to this conclusions which are given by Dr.K in this video myself. I was a heavy smoker, now I'm almost a partially smoker, but how did I got managed that? First of all, I started to avoid smoking in certain areas, my apartment, my car or meeting certain ppl. Over a year it was so successful that I started to travel by car and even on 8hrs+ legs I didn't even think about smoking. Why? Because sitting in my car and smoking doesn't fit together. And so I could reduce smoking without force to a minimum where I'm occasionally forget about it. I had several days without smoking without intend to. And it reduces further, without ANY force or "discipline" or other "super method 3000"-crap. Just kinda schedule it, set it on certain dependencies and add them time over time. There will be a day where I don't even buy a pack anymore but without force, without fear of falling back. Just b/c it is natural to me that I don't even smoke, like being a "never smoker". No battles, just successes, without hatred to myself. Like finding a natural way to "de-programm" smoking step by step. Like Dr.K. explains it with P*rn addiction.
yes it also ties ijn to this identity you catered towards yourself. Just imagine in all of those instances you identified as a smoker. Inherently you would have made decisions based on the mental frame that you created, and vice-versa!
This very much sounds like the method of *Alen Car* in the book *_"How to stop cigarette"_* (or smth) About that book I want to say : It worked on me for two days, insanely well I didn't feel any craving BUT my body started to be insanely sick out of nowhere, like a flu in august, I was with a friend that had a cigarette. Seeing it evokes nothing, absolutely nothing. But I was of fuck head that by opposition to the guy Alen Car, wanted to prove him wrong or right. I thought: OK it seems to work but I wanna know, am I sick because of my bodys addiction or is it something else. If it is smth else, I'll just re read his book after this cigarette. The only take away to this is that I ruined the effect the book had on me by smoking a cigarette I didnt even want and retook smoking after two days when I could have stopped, I feel like O really could have. WHAT DOES ALEN CAR SAYS IN HUS BOOK ? LISTEN TO MY ADVICES. DO NOT SMOKE FOR NO REASON, WHY NO ENVY, IF YOU DO DON'T SAY MY BOOK ISN'T WORKING : YOU JUST DIDN'T HEAR MY ADVICE. I did just that. I regret it. This book doesn't have any science backing, more to the contrary, but people suceeded with it and it could have been me. To me it's self hypnosis, re writing of though pattern and I really think it's worh the try.
@@funygameur Hmm I dunno, I didn't read a book or so. I simply switched to the weakest cigarettes available and reduced smoking by simply doing other things + restrictions as I've written above. It works well. Yesterday I smoked some cigarettes more than the usal 3 or 5 a day. Today I'm way below. In general the count goes down. That's all that matters to me. And it worked well. Last week I had 2 days without a cigarette and without craving. After the 2 days I had me "normal" 3 cigarettes a day. And so on. Those cig-free days are slowly but surely raising in numbers. And I don't have any regret smoking a cigarette b/c I know statistically I'm on a trend to quit. :)
Nts ~1:00 porn has evolved from magazines to interactive onlyfans 2:10 resistance feelings 4:35 brain learns to be dramatic when it doesn't get what it wants 6:00 example 6:30 socialization (replacement of addiction) instead of resisting 9:38 11:01 13:24 proactive emotional regulation 14:00 you feel good watching porn, and then you feel bad 16:40 sense of purpose is hedge against addiction. (Sense of meaninglessness is addiction.) 18:02 18:38 set up to win 19:00
Yep, lots of people seem to buy into moralistic nonsense about how porn is inherently bad and therefore complete abstinence is the only acceptable behavior
The problem with pornography is that not only is it a dopamine dependent addiction like all others, it’s also hormonal, which I think is something that a lot of people overlook and makes it a lot more complicated than people think.
It's not about resisting a craving. It's about redirection and reprioritization so that the craving never comes back and if it does, it is "easy" to crush rather than fighting or resisting.
amazing advice, ive been doing that whole "my brain notices that im in the beginning stage of trying to resist a craving so it turns it up to 11 bc it knows that thats easiest way to push past it" thing for a while now and youve definitely made me a lot more concious about it, so thanks
I tihnk people confuse nofap and quitting pornography a lot. NoFap is a community of weird people thinking they will get superpowers and ultra-high testosterone by not jacking it for long enough. But there is more than enough evidence to debunk that whole shabang. It's healthy and natural to beat it every now and then. The problem is with porn, not fapping. Getting off to watching other people fuck in front of you, messes up a lot of stuff in our brains. We tend to get more sad. We tend sexualize a lot more stuff in very weird ways. We tend to get angry at or objectify women a lot more. So it's not about not beating it. It's about not watching porn.
I'm following thsi method.. I first watch it once a day at a particular time Then after getting a hang of it Switch it to once it a week continued for a 4 week Now switched it once in a month.. going strong for 2 months Thankyou Doc
I haven't watched the whole thing yet but I think I'm really glad you made this one, I feel like it's a piece of the puzzle that may have been missing from the other videos about this. You talked about addictions before and referred to being aware of when you eat chips and still allowing yourself to have it but being aware of it. That's where I think this video is going. After watching, I think it did go there partially. For me I try to develop a healthy relationship with the things I'm 'addicted' to. I try not to use something to fulfill a need that I can meet without that thing... I don't always achieve this, and I don't think I need to always achieve this. I think I need to focus on living a better life, and sometimes these things don't make it drastically worse, it gets that way without moderation, and awareness... but even then I don't think it should be something to beat yourself up about as it can make things worse, I think this still tracks with what he's saying. I also, think for some people there can be a religious shame and trauma component, which I don't think has been mentioned in his videos, might be something to consider because I know it made things more complicated for me.
I haven't given in in over a week and thats big progress. I got addicted as an 11 y/o and have tried direly to disconnect. Now, I know I'm not missinhg anything by losing that habit. It would sap energy when I felt like it was giving me relief.
I’ll tell you how to beat addictions. Don’t do the addiction and then simply observe the thoughts and feelings that come up neutrally without reacting. Repeat this process as long as possible and you train your brain and body to respond to these craving with neutrality. Doing this you’re not resisting it nor giving into it. You’re just sitting with the thoughts, cravings and feelings and letting your mind and body become accustomed to it without doing anything. Over time you’ll build a resilience to it and it won’t affect you anymore. I know because I used this approach on severe OCD, smoking cigarettes, vaping, drinking alcohol, smoking weed, jerking off to porn, etc. I never get addicted to anything because I do this each time I wanna drop a bad habit. Try it.
This so called addiction is literally 5 minutes of effort to solve, cost nothing and you can move on with your day, imaginary problem of the 1st world countries.
@@iche9373 addictions are alot deeper than just eating/consuming foods or beverages. its something that effects your mind as well as your entire body. you can gradually change the chemistry in your body overtime an that will have some positive effects but it means nothing if you can't cull the mind telling you to do the thing that makes you feel better about a situation or circumstances. which is why its so important to re-wire or reprogram your mind to deceive yourself into thinking less is more and eventually you will no longer become dependent upon the thing which caused the addiction and can then make the decision to quit it.
5:39 that example actually blew my mind... During school I very often had stomach aches that disappeared AS SOON as I got home. But i wasn't bullied, I just didn't like school or maybe teachers.
I've battled with addictions pretty much my entire life, starting with alcohol when I was 12. It was a spiral from there, now here i am at 22. One thing I found throughout this is that addiction is not a disease like AA and NA say which is why I never found them helpful. Addiction is instead more of a symptom of a disease (being a coping mechanism to a traumatic event). I have found through the last 10 years of battling that it is best to find out that reason, and *learn* to accept that it happened *and* move on. This has helped not only myself and other buddies who I have met through this journey. Resisting those cravings will always make you want to go back because using willpower is exhausting.
This actually makes a lot of sense. Don't "strength train" your addiction. Set yourself up for success and outsmart your addiction. I've learned some of these strategies throughout my life. This behind the scenes of how they work makes a lot of sense.
God I've been trying to figure this out for so long. I was caught between the pendulum swings of unrestricted use and fully trying to shut it down. I knew there must be some balance in the middle, I knew it, but I could never figure out how. Thank you so much.
That's actually how I kind of overcome it. I did not resist the urge. I welcomed it. So that when I was on a good roll in my work, and the idea of watching corn hits, it goes away because I'm winning at life.
All of the potential confusion and/or controversy that this video will cause would all be solved if everyone just watched the video rather than jumping to conclusions about the title 😂. What Dr.K explains in the video isn't to stop resisting porn addiction entirely, but to resist it in a way that is more efficient and conducive to success. Most addicts do desire to stop and resist their cravings just to unfortunately end in failure, causing their brains to subconsciously think it's unachievable. That's the main point of this video, he's saying there's a paradoxical effect associated with trying to resist that makes you worse off in the end because your brain punishes you for resisting in the first place. And in fact, punishes you the more you resist. So the superior approach he puts forward is to allow yourself a time slot to watch it, but disallow yourself from doing it during the time in between. By doing so, you train your brain to resist temporarily while also preventing yourself from being punished by the withdrawals or negative emotions that arise from resisting completely and eventually failing. If you're able to resist completely, by all means do it. But for those who can't (which is the most of us), this can be an actually fruitful long-term strategy.
I get that the title can be misleading and potentially even harmful, but the information in the video itself mostly justifies it. It's just that some people will sadly never know that and just think he's justifying people's addictive cycles.
What helped me was the changing of the nature of the most important relationships in my life. Now, this is my own personal issue, but when i stopped relying on others emotionally, especially the ones who weren't supportive, it made me value myself, and abandon anything that is less than what i deserve, which is to love myself, and then in that freedom and lack of self victimizing, loving others without relying on them to boost self loathing self esteem.
I'm grateful that DrK shows us an elegant way of avoiding reactance which fuels the inner battle. Cold turkey still works but it's always helpful to have another strategy in place
What I do for addictions is deciding that I legitimately don't want the thing. Not just saying it on a surface level, or fighting an urge, but by making a persuasive argument. By making both positive and negative arguments, it gives me more than enough reason to automatically decide that I don't want something.
So similar to being in a fast flowing river, swimming against the current won't save you, swimming with the current won't help either. Swimming perpendicular to it will have you travel in the same way swimming parallel does, but you're actually getting closer to getting out. However, you are still going down the river.
I think the best way to think about it is that it's 2 different addictions at the same time, one is p*rn and the other is m*Bation. Quitting both at the same time is disasterous, while quitting one and not the other is possible. So if everytime you intensely want to watch, you could instead do option 2 without option 1 and just use your thoughts l believe you can succeed that way.
Interesting.I guess it'll also improve your cognitive capabilities since you actually have to imagine the scenario instead of just relying on your phone.But on the other hand you also get more creative freedom with how those scenarios play out
@@sauravthegreat Yeah l believe so too, either Dr. K mentioned this before or another Psych youtuber but l never truly got around to trying, it makes sense to me though
I have tried this and was able to quite porn for 2 months, then relapsed but significantly decreased my porn consumption afterwards down to once a week on average. Still masturbated a lot but I am five days free of that currently and I think not watching porn often has been helpful in that. I also have made a pact with a friend which has given me a reason to stick with it-so far so good.
This is what I thought it would be. Weaning yourself off rather than quitting "cold turkey", which makes a lot of sense. With this particular subject though, I've noticed that age can provide some relief. As you get older, certain drives begin to decrease and can have the effect of decreasing interest in such things, which is exactly where you want to be.
I'm glad someone gets this secret, and I want to warn all smokers to be careful of the disease pictures on cigarette packs. They're meant to make you feel guilty and keep you stuck in a cycle
States do things in the economic interest of the country, not anymore about the well being of individual, social health. It's all economics. Out countries are now start ups, disgusting.
I had a big problem with being able to understand if I considered myself "addicted". This also applies with me to other things than just p*rn, but I was able to understand it a lot better because of this video. Thank you!
For anyone interested Sarah brewer has a podcast called overcoming porn for good. And it covers this whole idea of learning to sit with your urges instead of fighting it. It’s such amazing piece of content. If you feel like you have tried everything, give her technique a shot, she also is not selling anything, all of this free.
Yes same, My Guy Student just yesterday watching corn at night. It's Worse, He having bullying every student including Form 1 or 2 Student. However, I think his brain didn't was destroying before late. I hopefully he must going to church and reading bible everyday than watching corn. Amen.
Dr. k is person not have enough experience about it how is real dangerous all kind of corn and spicy stuffs on applications and plistic Sergry on women to who's look at them and how effect so extremely on men lifes and good women lifes. I tell u something about my life my parents were work hard to keep family together give values to their kids. I'm older one on siblings never want say (my) cuz they are evils that why i cut off them of my life forever till die. my parents trying to have good kids rising good. there 3 group on me of siblings who's under age then me when I was care about them all time when they were babies when I was still child also but I was care about them for who am I as child after years they are growing up be teens they are starting hate enemy 3 of them do group together to mocking on me all time call me stupid I was not care about it till my dad bought computer was for who's study to use it I not use it at all was also I don't care just read book about computer to also computer one of siblings that group who's hate me I trying understand it without use computer avoid problems with them put something on me but during these 5 years I was saw their behavior getting worse they starting doing unbelievable things even my parents still till today not know about it they also starting hate towards to my parents like they enemies but my parents still not pay attention about their behavior use my parents hurts me.. If someone really wants hear more about it ill do write it save a lot of families lifes from destroy it.
Therapist when the credit card gets declined:
Edit: I did not expect this to get this much attention
😂😂😂
fr
Legendary comment
LMFAO
He's doing a great job presenting this information for free.
He's not saying, "Go watch right now!" He's explaining the downsides of losing to cravings when you try to stop enitrely immediately. If you're beating the addiction, stick to it.
we need to ban all porn and promiscuity on social media to save this society from collapse in the coming 30-50 years
Thank you for reciting the video in a dumbed down version, genius…
@@SergiusXVII whats the problem??
@@SergiusXVII It serves as a warning to commenters that have just read the title and are coming to comment something about it without watching the video.
@@bside6859 Growth ponzi scheme.
I overcame my crystal meth addiction by learning about addiction, chemistry and psychology. I applied everything I learned, i socially transplanted myself, slowely weened off of it, but when i really got severe cravings I willingly gave in and i increased the time between doses progressively. I also lowered the doses over time as well. One thing that also helped was always carry a gram of it with me as a memento mori and i never took from that bag. When i felt ready, snd that was at a completely random moment at a party, i simply threw it out. Now i am clean for two years. I do not have any urges, just memories i know i can never relive.
EDIT: God damn guys! Thank you so much for the kind words!
And for anyone else struggling with addiction, I and many others stand by you, you are not alone and will succeed eventually. Keep at it and dont forget your goal!
you have no idea how inspiring that is
gs bro
That's awesome
So proud of you, man. Thanks for sharing.
Are you mething with me?
*"You couldn't live with your own failure. Where did that bring you? Back to me."*
-The man who did nothing wrong
Exactly
Honestly porn is an avengers level threat
Bars
that's literally what I thought (haven't watched the full vid)
I only really feel the urge to watch porn when im chronically bored and or lonely. I used to believe porn addiction was a real thing, but once i got to a better place in life and practically over night the desire to watch porn basically vanished, i realized porn use was a symptom of the problem, not the problem itself.
Porn is only a problem if you have a problem in the first place. Millions of people watch porn every day, but it only becomes a problem for a minority of those people.
@@keremcantarhan
I question how many of those consumers have ever sincerely considered the nature of their habit and attempted to stop, just to see if they could.
@@danielflanard8274 You would only attempt to stop doing something if you perceive it to be harmful. Otherwise, there is no reason to.
@@keremcantarhan
Yes exactly. Self-awareness is not in abundance in society, neither is introspection. Every addict who has woken up to the reality of their situation at one time believed it not to be an issue, denial is powerful. As for the people who have control over their usage, there is still something to be said of how porn has severely damaged the way men view sex and women, but that is a different conversation.
"The first step in solving any problem is recognizing there is one"
@@danielflanard8274 For something to be an addiction, it has to be harmful/disruptive to your daily life per definition. Otherwise, you can do it every day for the rest of your life and it's not an addiction.
Our brain is like a child who's trying to get what they want. If you let a child cry, and then give in, that child knows that's how long they need to cry to get what they want.
that is some wisdom right there
Great analogy, I will definitely be keeping this in mind.
so you have to never give what they want? and if you cannot win the battle?
so I should not make child cry? what makes them cry? how old is the child? should I give it broccoli instead?
great analogy here, because sometimes the child actually has another need that isn't being met, and if you can ensure that you will meet that need at a later point, then you can be more consistent with not giving in to supplying them unhealthy coping mechanisms!
"It's not about beating it." - Dr. K
Was looking for this comment.
@@Pebbledrop I'm happy someone noticed lol
Just beat it, beat it, beat it, beat it
No one wants to be defeated
Showin' how funky and strong is your fight
It doesn't matter who's wrong or right
Just beat it (Beat it)
Beat it (Beat it)
But it is, in fact, about beating it :O... Dr. K be misleading us
@@thenew4559King of Pop
The "scheduling" thing is _exactly_ what I did to get over my addiction. Unfortunately I didn't have any external help, but I figured that setting progressively stricter limits on how often I could do it was much more realistic than quitting overnight, and although there were times when I wasn't able to respect said limits and I felt terribly guilty about it, in the end I managed to slowly take back control of my mind and body. If you're in the same situation as I was, then don't give up, your efforts will pay off in the long term!
hey, congrats on getting over your addiction!! I am curious on how long you have stayed clean for and what other things did you do to get over the addiction?
Great idea, i'll try this for sure
@@Dhr_v I was in my mid-teens, so unfortunately I could only resist for a couple months at a time before hormones would get the better of me, but even though that might not count as completely "clean", I didn't feel like it was controlling my life anymore and I was satisfied with where I'd gotten.
Nowadays I hardly feel the need to do it at all due to hormonal changes, but it should be noted that I'm a special case in that regard, so your mileage may vary.
Sadly I can't remember doing anything else in particular to overcome it. I just slowly but surely made progress towards my goal until it wasn't really a problem anymore.
@@Zakaker Np, this clears it! Tysm for getting back to me.
@@Zakaker Was it porn specifically or was it everything?
"indulge with self awareness" is some of the best advice someone ever gave me. it helped me slowly do certain things less and less
Genuinely, this is how I've reduced my sugar intake, without even really knowing it. It just felt right to give myself grace. I would have a craving for the oreos in the other room, so I would get up, go in there, and just sit in front of them for a little bit. I would think about the process of opening the package, eating them, and enjoying them. I think about how many I want to grab and how I don't want a stomach ache from eating too many, and also how I want them to last so I can have some next time too. Then, I decide on 3-4, and sometimes I grab 5-6, and I laugh and eat them and go back to the other room. Each time I had more control and now the craving only happens every once in a while!
Helped me discover my kinks, which now leveraged into irl fun with my boyfriend :).
yes , bring to action the self awareness is also a meditation method
@@christopherlamott9351 For me, I have relatively strong will power. If I want to get off of something, I just have to want it bad enough, and I'm able to. I'm not saying it's not a struggle. But I don't think I struggle as much as most people do. I realize the first 2-3 days especially are really hard to fight off. But I also realize that if you get past those first 2-3 days of stopping your addiction, whatever it is, it becomes significantly easier to continue to stop it. What is harder for me, personally, is weening myself off. That method, for me, actually just makes me give more excuses to keep doing it for longer. For me, it's more about fighting your willpower, it's about knowing how to say no, no matter how strong the urge is. A psychologist once said that if you can sit through the feeling of anxiety, unease, or urge and realize it goes away, your life gets a lot easier to quit anything you want. I love soda. It's incredibly hard for me to quit that, but I'm able to. The issue for me is, I simply do not want to. And that's my problem. So I've decided 1 soda a day is my limit, and I mostly stick to it. The rest of my day is plain water. If you go a full week without soda, you won't even want soda anymore. I went weeks without soda before, and the sugar coating oyur tongue actually becomes unpleasant. I'm not sure if this method is the method for you or others reading this, but it's what works for me.
just when I thought i was out, they pull me back in
Exactly, its a terrible idea... Like saying to an ex drug addict that its bad to resist drugs like wtf
That’s what she said
Say the line silvio!
@bingbong2721 I recommend watching the video, my guy. If you're certain of a conclusion with minimal evidence, you're probably more likely to be wrong. I assume he means that you should improve your own life elsewhere rather than simply remove the coping mechanism... because that's what it is, drugs and behaviours and cravings exist to suppress suffering, just try and take the bottle from the alcoholic- if you succeed, which you probably won't, but if you do... see what happens. They'll be jittery. Annoyed. Physiological responses; nausea, headaches, etc; Withdrawals.
Compare that to being put in an environment where alcohol is LESS gratifying than quality socialisation (replace fellow alcoholic friends with sober friends, you'll notice they won't have NEARLY the same amount of cravings) studying for a purpose, learning engaging hobbies, etc. You'll be less likely to crave, more likely to put the bottle down yourself. Don't resist; Divert attention and intention.
Watch the video, compare our assumptions.
@bingbong2721 he literally talks about that in the video. Please watch videos before commenting instead of spreading misinformation.
I’m a licensed addiction counselor in CA and one of the most effective treatments for porn addiction I’ve found is address touch starvation. Many people (mostly men) I work with who have PA often don’t know they’re craving basic affection and use porn and masturbation as ways to simulate and inmate affectionate experience. One exercise that I asked someone to do was literally ask his friends for a hug.
It's actually obvious. You don't have to be an addiction counselor in CA to understand it. The problem is that the vast majority of guys don't have a girlfriend, a normal family, or normal friends
That makes so much sense and yet is so incredibly disheartening. Most of us aren’t even craving sexual pleasure merely the simple feeling of warmth that comes from hugging someone who love us.
@@HKRAQ I didn't make the connection, but now you say it, it's so obvious :/
I kinda wished i had a wife that loves me.
Great. Now I need to make friends 😢
When I quit drinking I read Allan Carr’s “quit drinking without willpower”
The book starts off by saying you can have a drink while reading, and you don’t have to stop until you want, but by the end of the book you will not want it anymore. This seems similar.
There is a anti-porn book based by Alan Carr for free online too.
Interestingly enough going to rehab and AA/similar programs never helped me curb my drinking (never bought into never drinking again). What helped me the most was not shying away from drinking but changing my mindset around it. That and not wanting to fall while holding my kids or something. But yeah I have a healthy relationship with drinking now, I do it when I want (which is not often, maybe a couple of times per year) and never more than 2 by choice. It's not "fun".
@@weebabyshamus 🧢
@@walzwalzwalz what is?
@@weebabyshamus nice work man
When he said something like “we don’t really know how people quit on their own” I thought about my journey quitting marijuana and it aligned with the things he was talking about in the second half of the video. It was all about a) redirecting when I had cravings, going on my porch for a few minutes, turning on a movie or video game, or writing down a list of reasons why I didn’t want to continue smoking, and b) getting a purpose in life. I chose my dogs as my purpose, making them happy, and instead of smoking I’ll do a training session with them instead, and the increase in their energy and tail wagging is so gratifying.
Congratulations! You quitted marijuana, but now...
You are addicted to DOGS! 🐶
ok now actually, congrats on quitting 😁
Congrat on quitting smoking that! I hope you have lots of fun with your dogs.
I remplaced my addiction with sport every morning, journaling BUT in the first place I just smoked RAW CBD wich was disgusting because to me tabacoo was the reason why I'd smoke 10g of mari juana an eveninf alone I felt like it.
Because mari juana feels nice AND I was reaaaaally addicted to tabaco.
Smoking raw Cbd is so useless and bruh that my brain said Ok you've had your dose but also, don't so it again please (with enough time) and mostly because doing anything else felt better
How long did it take you to notice improvements in your memory and stuff in day to day tasks?
Thanks for this! I will never be able to get a friend (and definitely never get a date or girlfriend) but I CAN get a pet. If that’s enough purpose for you, maybe it will be for me.
everything is getting brighter, bouncier, jigglier
I read this right as he said it
Bro tempted somebody just then😂
He is trying to tempt people so that they stay in the cycle of hedonism, making then weak, so that they can become more effective consumers of his “content”. Disgusting.
@@thegreatandmightyseff7214 and why are YOU under one of his vids?
@@temperino I just clicked on it, I am not subscribed to him. Classic assumption fallacy.
"What you resist; persists."
-Carl Gustav Jung
If you experience hyperphantasia, there isn’t always a clear divide between “watching porn” and losing yourself in arousing fantasy. Your mind makes porn of the world and remembers it vividly in the perpetual theater of your mind.
Didn't expect the chocolate rain guy to be in a DR.K video about beating the urge to beat it. Small world.
the mind is a strong gateway to relaps indeed
how do you deal with hyperphantasia @tayzonday
Rare Aphantasia W
I read this in his voice.
Do not resist it, replace it with something more meaningful and rewarding.
Like learning a new skill. Marshal art, sim racing, cooking, wood work, anything that requires generative attitude and learning, not consumption.
Yeah but... I want to whack it at night, I'm not gonna go to a martial art lesson or go to the shed and work on a DIY project.
Then play video games lol. Not the most productive thing but its not the worst thing ever and may be enriching if with friends or trying out new genres@@richardmccabe2392
Only thing that can truly replace it is a real relationship
@@jready1455it doesn't.
" Don't fight battles you cant win" i heard this before but today it really hit me in a different way
I'm an alcoholic and can back this method up. I'm not even really trying to quit, but lately it's been horrible, so I had to like make hard line rules like "not until this time, do all of that first, stop drinking at work (yes, it was that bad), and try to drink socially more.
Surprisingly, I definitely cut back and it was mostly effortless.
I don’t drink anymore but when I needed to quit, I first cut back like you’re describing. I made rules for myself like light beer only, no drinking until 7 pm and in bed by 10:30, no more than 6 beers a night. Then it reduced to just weekends and drinking socially until finally I stopped for good. Knowing that I still could drink but not as much as before made it a lot easier to eventually get sober. Best of luck to you if you do ever decide to fully quit, but it’s great that you’ve learned to moderate.
At least you’re aware of the issue and you’re making better choices. That sounds like a W to me! ❤
thats great to hear. I guess for (some) addictions, its better to limit rather then remove. You cover the "need" while still functioning.
what worked for me is setting rules of where I'm allowed to buy alcohol. This is a big deal since I walk everywhere. So if I want a drink I'm not allowed to buy from the gas station 10 minutes away, instead I have to walk an hour to the bar or to the liquor store and suddenly getting alcohol becomes more trouble than it's worth and the craving goes away.
This comment is giving me déjà vu.
The jokes are funny but this is genuinely one of the most mind-opening things I've watched in a long time
@gottisttott6350 everyone wants attention by typing these comments! pathetic
@@sokoowskitosmrud6630 idk you sound like you want a piece of it stating your feelings. you are no different.
This is a great video on behavioral addiction overall. Definitely didn’t know that the more you resist and fail, the worse your cravings will be. Planning to use these techniques for technology use in general.
Avoid sweets, sugar, chocolate, watermelon etc to avoid lust feelings. 😊😊😊
@@santosh34556 just don’t eat them😐😐 that’s the root cause for why people don’t have control over most things
He's speaking English, but explaining in hindu 😅 good stuff doc, currently dealing with addiction and going through it.
"Don't fight watching porn. Lead it." - Sun Tzu, The art of war.
Hilarious underated comment 😂
@@funygameur who knows, may be people here are not fans of Sun Tzu's quotes😁
Create one
i actually read that book a while ago lol
@@kexforlecture when you're small appear to be large
i recently quit all my addictions, smoking, watching porn, staring in the mirror, binge eating, acne-picking, etc. I have barely any cravings to do any of them and i’m 100% certain it’s because I live alone now. I was constantly surrounded by my toxic family who put me down everyday, but now they’re all out the house, and i’m the only one here. When trying to quit an addiction, like he says, ur environment is the biggest factor. U can’t heal if ur constantly being damaged.
Staring in the mirror?
The book Atomic Habits talks about this heavily because the environment is a giant factor in building habits, both good or bad. You, as the architect of your environment, moved out of a place of stress which stemmed directly from your environment, therefore removing all the stressors needed to signal your brain to engage in those bad habits in the first place.
So you created your own environment and you did it my guy🎉🎉. Proud of you fam.
@@rgb2296 Probably a form of self hatred
@@9volt101 Goes hand-in-hand with acne, especially severe or cystic acne
@@rgb2296 my reaction as well
I have a lot of junk on my TH-cam feed, but this channel is one of the best things I've come across
Basically, it's better to build our passive resistance via lifestyle/mindset change than it is to rely on active resistance via thought-stopping and temporary environment change.
Thought stopping? You mean like „don’t think about a blue elephant“?
yes our will has limited capacity we run out of fuel very fast and arent conscious most of time especially at our lowest points daily
@@iche9373 Google exists.
Using consumables to resist or develop passive resistance.
@@szymonbaranowski8184Just remember your will is only limited by the limit you place on yourself. You have much more than you realize.
What would you like us to make a video on for Mental Health May? reply to this comment with your suggestions & upvote the ones you like
Samsara. If life is suffering, why engage in it?
I don't think Sisyphus would be happy if he's actually aware of his situation.
One must imagine Sisyphus pissed.
I think someone forgot to pin this comment
One thing I am struggling with is knowing that the environment I have no control over is damaging me, but I will need to wait out and keep doing what I am doing to have a chance to change where I am. Also I like my job but it would require me to stay where I am, where I am unhappy because of constant noise (and resulting fatigue), neglected youths and anonymity. And if I fantasize about where I would like to be, I can't find an answer even on the dream level where any place in the world and anything from a tiny apartment to a grand mansion is possible. I often think to myself subconsciously that I want to go "home", but I don't know where that is or what it means.
I guess to sum it up, how to feel at home in life?
How a combination of fear and denial determine most people’s decisions.
Late response, but addiction to sugar/caffeine (i.e. soda)
THANK SO MUCH, THIS IS TOTALLY WORKING. I can not believe, man. It's just like a gym. You have to do a progress overload, i started with 24 hour's without porn, after 1 day i could watch without shame, after some time i increased the time to 3 days without porn, the time was passing and my brain was becoming more and more better in not thinking about porn. Now, i can control myself. THANK SO MUCH❤❤❤
[English is not my first language]
@@BananaINHELL Thats amazing man!
I wish I had had this piece of advice to "set aside a time to watch porn" before brute forcing my way out of addiction. The way I beat my porn addiction was by pairing up with a good friend and agreeing to tell each other every time we watch porn. It was extremely uncomfortable for both of us but we both got there in the end. Not everyone is lucky enough to have such a supportive friend, so this piece of Dr. K advice is fantastic.
wow that's a good friend.
risky
If you have to tell which kind of porn you're gonna watch even without going into specifics, you would resist even more. Just saying it's something from Japan and your friend wouldn't have to guess much.
I mean you also could've just used him lol
You're a good friend❤
People who are good at delayed gratification are known to be much more successful in life and I want to be more successful, so I'm viewing my addiction as an obstacle between me and my dreams. So whenever I reach a certain goal, I allow myself to engage in the addiction once. This simple frame allowed me to no longer be engaged in the addiction every day (or even multiple times per day), instead it's easy to stay 'clean' for weeks.
Sure the urges are still there but recognizing that it's an urge and knowing that you shouldn't betray yourself makes everything easier.
mindfulness is powerful
When I used p as the reward to completing something more valuable (working our or making music) I felt like I found a good reward system
the more I delayed gratification the easier it was to just skip, but still keeping working out or making music in my routine
"People who are good at delayed gratification are known to be much more successful in life"
Correlation does not imply causation
Honestly thanks for making the thumbnail so eye catching. Also thanks for making this about addiction, not the evil of p0rn. It makes it feel better to pursue the information.
It’s always better to replace corn with a new habit, because since your brain needs stimulation, you can’t just go from hyper stimulation to none at all, that’s how you start counting days instead of making the most of them
Yes the gym!
Agereed but I think it’s always good to think just one more day and you will notice how your day plays out the same except now your healing
Great comment and I couldn't agree more.
this comment needs more likes
I think till now this is the best video on TH-cam or anywhere anybody has ever made on por*n addiction .
By far.
Been watching some since 2014, never seen better even by someone with a PHD or else.
I agree!
Agreed
For me the "secret" to quiting was moving toward a greater goal. I set a vision of what and who i wanted to be and for me I connected it to my God-given and God-sanctioned mission here on earth. And a part of that was physical health, which means going to sleep early, waking up early and exercising. It also means eating less and eating healthier. And between work, kids and doing that, it just doesn't leave a lot of time for porn. Then once i learned what it can do to you energy, focus and motivation levels when you stop masturbating, i was totally "cured" of my addiction.
I don't "resist" porn; I'm just doing something else right now. Something that's more meaningful to me.
“If you devote your whole life to completely avoiding something you like, then that thing still controls you” - Stan Marsh, South Park (Context about Alcohol)
This was one of my first South Park episodes I’ve watched, and this advice made it one of my favourites. It’s amazing how one your patients brought up South Park too because I find it amazing at how well constructed their lessons actually are.
Just do a keto diet to cure your cravings or take Ozempic.
Great episode. I think it's spot on that the real willpower, or as South Park puts it, disciprine, isn't in resisting your demons but in moderating them. It's easy to run away from addiction, but that doesn't actually work. What's much harder and much more effective is developing the ability to engage in the addictive behaviour without losing control.
This is a fantastic insight on managing addiction that took me quite a long time to understand and accept as most people absolutely do not understand and socially expect the harmful opposite, that people must just push really hard constantly to "will" addiction away.
The answer is Jesus.
You are the first person I've EVER seen to explain my chronic stomach aches back in the 1st/2nd grade. I'm 33. Wow, applauds for you sir. It was my brain the whole time!
I know you gotta cook a title with a hook but what the heck
For real, the voices already coming
@@summersalix sounds like you havent finished the video yet.
The title is semi-true.
he changed it back to resist
but isnt that manipulation?
the last part is important, thanks for mentioning that
you need a reason to stop addictions like this because even if you beat it you still havent changed your enviroment and its really easy to fall back into it
I like how this video is framed in such a way as to give people hope. I think that's the most important psychological factor to address, and you do a really good job of it toward the end. Also, glad to know what I've been doing is actually the right method. Sometimes it does just feel like I'm failing, but if I look at the overall amount of time spent watching porn over the last year, it's significantly lower than the year prior. I have an addict in the family and the info here helps with that, too. Thank you.
This one’s gonna be popular I can tell
Same. Heck, maybe this vid will be the most popular video by Dr. K
gulp
We'll see if that comes to be true
289k views in one day
I remember being that one person whenever I see a title I just thinks it's 100% correct and it's fked my life.
Dr. K is by far the best mental health content creator, this is all literally so helpful to hear. He feels like a REAL person too not just a doctor, makes it come through to me a lot better.
Fantastic video. Keep it up, man, truly. All the respect and admiration for your efforts, no one does it like you.
The help this man has given me through his videos is wild. all of these tips he gives up all the time can be applied in so many different places and has helped me turn my life around.
For those confused or jumping to conclusions, he's saying when it comes to porn addiction a good strategy to quitting is a controlled moderation approach to slowly get off it. Quitting cold turkey with anything can make the addiction stronger, especially if we're not ready or strong enough to give it up yet.
And also a keto diet can regulate the cravings
I mean Cold Turkey helped me last 3 to 4 months
I went 110 days after cold turkey however the addiction became stronger after the relapse. Everyone is different though
So he mean porn is good thing or what?
I get to notice this video RIGHT AFTER watching corn and feeling like I shouldn't have done it, lmao. It's scary how this channel provides the exact content I need every single time
I appreciate the way seemingly contradictory phrases are used to clarify specific, complicated things about this. About the mind.
Can't break the edging streak.
I'm edging rn
@@pepito69 me 2
I’ve been edging since ‘97
ugh, I'm edging really hard to this comment rn
edging to all the edgers in this comment section
Holy shit man you worded my thought process when struggling with addiction literally verbatim. Im so glad i found this video, please keep doing what you are doing
I love dr.Ks content 😂. He basically baits people with his over-the-top titles & thumbnails, and then proceeds to give you a half an hour lecture on Addiction psychology 😂😂😂
This is great.
Gives some surface level tools to addicts to just tone it down. Setting a schedule is a great practice. Like he said, the real issue behind the addition is not that you're looking at porn but the effects of hardcore addicts wasting all their spare time doing nothing but that. Or failing to build a meaningful life and filling the void with porn. Non-addicts look at porn, sometimes even regularly.
@@john_g_hendersonI'm all ears
@@john_g_henderson Are any of them NOT based on ridiculous cultural hangups about sex?
@@john_g_hendersonplease state these arguments complete with the links to scientific studies because I’ve been using them since I was a teen and I’m now 30+ with no major issues in life. I’ll wait.
@@LiftPizzas I’m the kind of person that doesn’t watch P that much, maybe 10-20 minutes a day max, and even if I don’t have an addiction, it still feels like a need to “discharge” (coupled with M). And it feels disgusting to watch P, I’ve always been not too fond of it.
Either way, it’s better not to watch P than to watch it. Nothing good about it. P and M contribute nothing to my life, it’s a waste of my time and emotional energy… I’d prefer to have a relationship with a real woman, and P and M are sort of a crappy substitute.
Also, isn’t it enough to qualify as addiction if it directly influences your life in a negative way? Consumption rate doesn’t even matter that much? I study and socialise occasionally, so I’n not that unsuccessful in life, but I feel like eliminating P and M from it would only improve it
@Cresimi I didn't say it is. I asked if there are any good arguments that it is harmful which are independent of cultural attitudes about sex. Or are you trying to say that all videos are harmful regardless of what they contain, like a squirrel hopping around with an acorn, that's harmful too? Or does it (in these "good arguments" that were mentioned but not specified) become harmful when the video contains sex?
We're enabling the addicts with this one 🗣️🗣️🔥🔥
When we try to use our willpower and like Dr. K said resist our cravings there's a part of ourselves in our mind that agrees with the idea of a relapse and resisting the craving or trying to use willpower to ignore it will only make it harder in the future. Instead what we need to do is have an open conversation with corn and yourself to realize that corn is lying and is not there for you. It will temporarily fill the void in our lives but it only makes it larger.
I read very similar things from an author called Celibate Yogi and his book completely changed me it was a very short read and very informative, i recommend it to anyone who's struggling with corn
Bro, for a few seconds I thought you had a weird relationship with corn. Then it dawned on me that you weren't actually talking about grains...
@@TheDalekCaan_He _is_ talking about corn. I am an Iowa corn farmer and this menace has wrecked havoc on our crops for years and is well known in our local farming community. Hell I've had to decontaminate my fields 13 times this month alone because of the unspeakble things he's done. He must be stopped!
@@magnanimus9692
Find "healthy distractions" sport, art, design, or manual crafts etc
the healthy distractions will make you so passionate in your flow state
that "healthy distractions" will distract you from "unhealthy distractions".
So this way you will teach your brain to be passionate about healthy hobbies.
Ed Mylett said a few years ago in some video.
Be passionate about some hobby that, it will distract you from other distractions.
Just do a keto diet to cure your cravings or take Ozempic, Chico. The World is Yours.
Thanks Dr. K! I've been 3 months clean but I listened to your advice and started my edging/gooning session, going to aim for a new streak!
this has to be the best anti-porn video ive seen and ive been around the block for years
13:02 Dr. K is absolute right about this. I came to this conclusions which are given by Dr.K in this video myself.
I was a heavy smoker, now I'm almost a partially smoker, but how did I got managed that?
First of all, I started to avoid smoking in certain areas, my apartment, my car or meeting certain ppl.
Over a year it was so successful that I started to travel by car and even on 8hrs+ legs I didn't even think about smoking. Why? Because sitting in my car and smoking doesn't fit together.
And so I could reduce smoking without force to a minimum where I'm occasionally forget about it. I had several days without smoking without intend to. And it reduces further, without ANY force or "discipline" or other "super method 3000"-crap. Just kinda schedule it, set it on certain dependencies and add them time over time.
There will be a day where I don't even buy a pack anymore but without force, without fear of falling back. Just b/c it is natural to me that I don't even smoke, like being a "never smoker". No battles, just successes, without hatred to myself. Like finding a natural way to "de-programm" smoking step by step.
Like Dr.K. explains it with P*rn addiction.
Very well said!
yes it also ties ijn to this identity you catered towards yourself. Just imagine in all of those instances you identified as a smoker. Inherently you would have made decisions based on the mental frame that you created, and vice-versa!
Quit smoking in a similar way. That was loong ago. Keep doing what you're doing, it works well.
This very much sounds like the method of *Alen Car* in the book *_"How to stop cigarette"_* (or smth)
About that book I want to say :
It worked on me for two days, insanely well I didn't feel any craving BUT my body started to be insanely sick out of nowhere, like a flu in august, I was with a friend that had a cigarette.
Seeing it evokes nothing, absolutely nothing.
But I was of fuck head that by opposition to the guy Alen Car, wanted to prove him wrong or right.
I thought: OK it seems to work but I wanna know, am I sick because of my bodys addiction or is it something else.
If it is smth else, I'll just re read his book after this cigarette.
The only take away to this is that I ruined the effect the book had on me by smoking a cigarette I didnt even want and retook smoking after two days when I could have stopped, I feel like O really could have.
WHAT DOES ALEN CAR SAYS IN HUS BOOK ?
LISTEN TO MY ADVICES.
DO NOT SMOKE FOR NO REASON, WHY NO ENVY, IF YOU DO DON'T SAY MY BOOK ISN'T WORKING :
YOU JUST DIDN'T HEAR MY ADVICE.
I did just that.
I regret it.
This book doesn't have any science backing, more to the contrary, but people suceeded with it and it could have been me.
To me it's self hypnosis, re writing of though pattern and I really think it's worh the try.
@@funygameur Hmm I dunno, I didn't read a book or so. I simply switched to the weakest cigarettes available and reduced smoking by simply doing other things + restrictions as I've written above. It works well. Yesterday I smoked some cigarettes more than the usal 3 or 5 a day. Today I'm way below. In general the count goes down. That's all that matters to me. And it worked well. Last week I had 2 days without a cigarette and without craving. After the 2 days I had me "normal" 3 cigarettes a day. And so on. Those cig-free days are slowly but surely raising in numbers. And I don't have any regret smoking a cigarette b/c I know statistically I'm on a trend to quit. :)
He spittin kinda fax. Quitting cold turkey almost never worked for me but slowly tapering off of something worked most of the time.
Nts
~1:00 porn has evolved from magazines to interactive onlyfans
2:10 resistance feelings
4:35 brain learns to be dramatic when it doesn't get what it wants
6:00 example
6:30 socialization (replacement of addiction) instead of resisting
9:38
11:01
13:24 proactive emotional regulation
14:00 you feel good watching porn, and then you feel bad
16:40 sense of purpose is hedge against addiction. (Sense of meaninglessness is addiction.)
18:02
18:38 set up to win
19:00
Many in comments are not understanding the nuance in his statement. The opening is shocking for retention.
Yep, lots of people seem to buy into moralistic nonsense about how porn is inherently bad and therefore complete abstinence is the only acceptable behavior
Then it shouldn't be.
But then again, a lot of them are also getting the point.
yeah, it's very subtle
The problem with pornography is that not only is it a dopamine dependent addiction like all others, it’s also hormonal, which I think is something that a lot of people overlook and makes it a lot more complicated than people think.
Just adopt a keto diet or take Ozempic to deal with your addiction
@@iche9373 Wat
@@iche9373 Are you serious? Or was this sarcasm?
@@LukeLane1984 Dr. Chris Palmer would confirm that a keto diet can handle an addiction and Ozempic regulates Cravings.
@@iche9373 stop copying and pasting this under every single comment and actually explain why you think keto is the cure to a porn addiction
It's not about resisting a craving. It's about redirection and reprioritization so that the craving never comes back and if it does, it is "easy" to crush rather than fighting or resisting.
amazing advice, ive been doing that whole "my brain notices that im in the beginning stage of trying to resist a craving so it turns it up to 11 bc it knows that thats easiest way to push past it" thing for a while now and youve definitely made me a lot more concious about it, so thanks
moreso with video game/ technology addiction for me than pornography tho
15:31
of course it's not about beating it. it's about NOT beating it
I tihnk people confuse nofap and quitting pornography a lot. NoFap is a community of weird people thinking they will get superpowers and ultra-high testosterone by not jacking it for long enough. But there is more than enough evidence to debunk that whole shabang. It's healthy and natural to beat it every now and then. The problem is with porn, not fapping. Getting off to watching other people fuck in front of you, messes up a lot of stuff in our brains. We tend to get more sad. We tend sexualize a lot more stuff in very weird ways. We tend to get angry at or objectify women a lot more. So it's not about not beating it. It's about not watching porn.
@GrumpyDerg 😂
Don't beat it BUT you can FLOG IT!!
@GrumpyDergJust beat it! Ooooohhhhh!
I'm following thsi method..
I first watch it once a day at a particular time
Then after getting a hang of it
Switch it to once it a week continued for a 4 week
Now switched it once in a month.. going strong for 2 months
Thankyou Doc
Phenomenal video once again Dr. K! Hopefully people watch this with an open mind, rather than writing it off simply based off of the title.
Hot take - sex without romance, friendship, vulnerability, or mutual enjoyment gets really kinda boring
Then can I have it?
I wouldn't know
Sounds like an ice cold take to me
Ummm, yeah I think that's how it works
@@jinfin221addict talk here
Fight the addiction not face to face but via distractions. Anything exciting that is not related can pull you away.
*grabs popcorn* 🍿
the "opc" is silent
Don't reach too deep in the popcorn or you might find a surprise
With a dune popcorn bucket?
@@marshmeowllow6816 Currently edging using the dune popcorn bucket
I haven't watched the whole thing yet but I think I'm really glad you made this one, I feel like it's a piece of the puzzle that may have been missing from the other videos about this. You talked about addictions before and referred to being aware of when you eat chips and still allowing yourself to have it but being aware of it. That's where I think this video is going.
After watching, I think it did go there partially. For me I try to develop a healthy relationship with the things I'm 'addicted' to. I try not to use something to fulfill a need that I can meet without that thing... I don't always achieve this, and I don't think I need to always achieve this. I think I need to focus on living a better life, and sometimes these things don't make it drastically worse, it gets that way without moderation, and awareness... but even then I don't think it should be something to beat yourself up about as it can make things worse, I think this still tracks with what he's saying.
I also, think for some people there can be a religious shame and trauma component, which I don't think has been mentioned in his videos, might be something to consider because I know it made things more complicated for me.
Never closed Dr. K so fast
Understood. Have a nice day
I haven't given in in over a week and thats big progress. I got addicted as an 11 y/o and have tried direly to disconnect. Now, I know I'm not missinhg anything by losing that habit. It would sap energy when I felt like it was giving me relief.
I’ll tell you how to beat addictions. Don’t do the addiction and then simply observe the thoughts and feelings that come up neutrally without reacting. Repeat this process as long as possible and you train your brain and body to respond to these craving with neutrality. Doing this you’re not resisting it nor giving into it. You’re just sitting with the thoughts, cravings and feelings and letting your mind and body become accustomed to it without doing anything. Over time you’ll build a resilience to it and it won’t affect you anymore. I know because I used this approach on severe OCD, smoking cigarettes, vaping, drinking alcohol, smoking weed, jerking off to porn, etc. I never get addicted to anything because I do this each time I wanna drop a bad habit. Try it.
This video is gonna do numbers 💀
I feel so bad for people struggling with this
same with any other addiction
This so called addiction is literally 5 minutes of effort to solve, cost nothing and you can move on with your day, imaginary problem of the 1st world countries.
Just do a keto diet to cure your addiction
Everyone has an addiction. If you think you have none you better check it again
@@iche9373 addictions are alot deeper than just eating/consuming foods or beverages. its something that effects your mind as well as your entire body.
you can gradually change the chemistry in your body overtime an that will have some positive effects but it means nothing if you can't cull the mind telling you to do the thing that makes you feel better about a situation or circumstances. which is why its so important to re-wire or reprogram your mind to deceive yourself into thinking less is more and eventually you will no longer become dependent upon the thing which caused the addiction and can then make the decision to quit it.
5:39 that example actually blew my mind... During school I very often had stomach aches that disappeared AS SOON as I got home. But i wasn't bullied, I just didn't like school or maybe teachers.
say less
Like 😂😂😂
sigh. Unzips pants
less
@@UnderTheTutelage Dr. K video plays on
Young blud
I've battled with addictions pretty much my entire life, starting with alcohol when I was 12. It was a spiral from there, now here i am at 22. One thing I found throughout this is that addiction is not a disease like AA and NA say which is why I never found them helpful. Addiction is instead more of a symptom of a disease (being a coping mechanism to a traumatic event). I have found through the last 10 years of battling that it is best to find out that reason, and *learn* to accept that it happened *and* move on. This has helped not only myself and other buddies who I have met through this journey. Resisting those cravings will always make you want to go back because using willpower is exhausting.
This actually makes a lot of sense. Don't "strength train" your addiction. Set yourself up for success and outsmart your addiction.
I've learned some of these strategies throughout my life. This behind the scenes of how they work makes a lot of sense.
God I've been trying to figure this out for so long. I was caught between the pendulum swings of unrestricted use and fully trying to shut it down. I knew there must be some balance in the middle, I knew it, but I could never figure out how. Thank you so much.
2 seconds into the video *opens incognito tab*
That's actually how I kind of overcome it. I did not resist the urge. I welcomed it. So that when I was on a good roll in my work, and the idea of watching corn hits, it goes away because I'm winning at life.
All of the potential confusion and/or controversy that this video will cause would all be solved if everyone just watched the video rather than jumping to conclusions about the title 😂. What Dr.K explains in the video isn't to stop resisting porn addiction entirely, but to resist it in a way that is more efficient and conducive to success. Most addicts do desire to stop and resist their cravings just to unfortunately end in failure, causing their brains to subconsciously think it's unachievable. That's the main point of this video, he's saying there's a paradoxical effect associated with trying to resist that makes you worse off in the end because your brain punishes you for resisting in the first place. And in fact, punishes you the more you resist. So the superior approach he puts forward is to allow yourself a time slot to watch it, but disallow yourself from doing it during the time in between. By doing so, you train your brain to resist temporarily while also preventing yourself from being punished by the withdrawals or negative emotions that arise from resisting completely and eventually failing. If you're able to resist completely, by all means do it. But for those who can't (which is the most of us), this can be an actually fruitful long-term strategy.
Perfect clarification.
I get that the title can be misleading and potentially even harmful, but the information in the video itself mostly justifies it. It's just that some people will sadly never know that and just think he's justifying people's addictive cycles.
😂 Exactly lol
Thanks for recap
What helped me was the changing of the nature of the most important relationships in my life.
Now, this is my own personal issue, but when i stopped relying on others emotionally, especially the ones who weren't supportive, it made me value myself, and abandon anything that is less than what i deserve, which is to love myself, and then in that freedom and lack of self victimizing, loving others without relying on them to boost self loathing self esteem.
I'm grateful that DrK shows us an elegant way of avoiding reactance which fuels the inner battle. Cold turkey still works but it's always helpful to have another strategy in place
Meanwhile in the other tab…
I cannot explain the whiplash of watching one of your workouts only to be told to go watch hentai immediately afterwards in this title lol.
They ain’t gonna like this one dr. k
What I do for addictions is deciding that I legitimately don't want the thing. Not just saying it on a surface level, or fighting an urge, but by making a persuasive argument. By making both positive and negative arguments, it gives me more than enough reason to automatically decide that I don't want something.
Remember you are not a sigma lone wolf. Everyone needs help once in a while. A porn addiction is powerful just like any other, get help.
Just do a keto diet to cure your addiction
@@iche9373 it makes no sense. Absolutely 0
@@Aziz.500 According to Dr Chris Palmer, a keto diet can regulate craving and addiction. Just saying.
@@iche9373
According to Dr E.Rando keto diet sucks
excuse me! Who do YOU think you are to tell me I'm not a sigma lone wolf? I AM a sigma lone wolf. 🐺
Good thing mentioning the difference between behavioral addiciton and substance addiction. Too many people tried to claim the two things are the same.
So similar to being in a fast flowing river, swimming against the current won't save you, swimming with the current won't help either. Swimming perpendicular to it will have you travel in the same way swimming parallel does, but you're actually getting closer to getting out. However, you are still going down the river.
I didn’t even watch the video but I’ll take your word for it doc
Oh no
ugh the algorithm is so alive😭 i was itching for this video
I think the best way to think about it is that it's 2 different addictions at the same time, one is p*rn and the other is m*Bation. Quitting both at the same time is disasterous, while quitting one and not the other is possible. So if everytime you intensely want to watch, you could instead do option 2 without option 1 and just use your thoughts l believe you can succeed that way.
Interesting.I guess it'll also improve your cognitive capabilities since you actually have to imagine the scenario instead of just relying on your phone.But on the other hand you also get more creative freedom with how those scenarios play out
Is there a strong reason to quit the second one?
@@sauravthegreat Yeah l believe so too, either Dr. K mentioned this before or another Psych youtuber but l never truly got around to trying, it makes sense to me though
@@UGMD other than effect on mood (depends on the person) or being tired afterwards l dont think so
I have tried this and was able to quite porn for 2 months, then relapsed but significantly decreased my porn consumption afterwards down to once a week on average. Still masturbated a lot but I am five days free of that currently and I think not watching porn often has been helpful in that. I also have made a pact with a friend which has given me a reason to stick with it-so far so good.
This is what I thought it would be. Weaning yourself off rather than quitting "cold turkey", which makes a lot of sense.
With this particular subject though, I've noticed that age can provide some relief. As you get older, certain drives begin to decrease and can have the effect of decreasing interest in such things, which is exactly where you want to be.
Everyone wants to be old?
@@douglaswise6797 Age is inevitable, just like taxes and death.
Idk, old people get freaky
losing sex drive is not a good thing. that's your body and emotions deteriorating
@@uslph. yep
The thumb nail and title is all I needed
You convinced me😭🙏🏾
💀
I'm glad someone gets this secret, and I want to warn all smokers to be careful of the disease pictures on cigarette packs. They're meant to make you feel guilty and keep you stuck in a cycle
Welcome to capitalism! Heh
States do things in the economic interest of the country, not anymore about the well being of individual, social health.
It's all economics.
Out countries are now start ups, disgusting.
I know a guy who collects them like baseball cards XD
I crank it to the DOOM ost
Give this man a beer!!!
You dont beat your meat to that, you defeat it
i crank it to MF DOOM
@@Max-ek4dn 😂
I crank it to opeth
I had a big problem with being able to understand if I considered myself "addicted". This also applies with me to other things than just p*rn, but I was able to understand it a lot better because of this video. Thank you!
For anyone interested Sarah brewer has a podcast called overcoming porn for good. And it covers this whole idea of learning to sit with your urges instead of fighting it. It’s such amazing piece of content. If you feel like you have tried everything, give her technique a shot, she also is not selling anything, all of this free.
I pray at night to god to stop watching corn
Yes same, My Guy Student just yesterday watching corn at night. It's Worse, He having bullying every student including Form 1 or 2 Student. However, I think his brain didn't was destroying before late.
I hopefully he must going to church and reading bible everyday than watching corn. Amen.
Dr. k is person not have enough experience about it how is real dangerous all kind of corn and spicy stuffs on applications and plistic Sergry on women to who's look at them and how effect so extremely on men lifes and good women lifes. I tell u something about my life my parents were work hard to keep family together give values to their kids. I'm older one on siblings never want say (my) cuz they are evils that why i cut off them of my life forever till die. my parents trying to have good kids rising good. there 3 group on me of siblings who's under age then me when I was care about them all time when they were babies when I was still child also but I was care about them for who am I as child after years they are growing up be teens they are starting hate enemy 3 of them do group together to mocking on me all time call me stupid I was not care about it till my dad bought computer was for who's study to use it I not use it at all was also I don't care just read book about computer to also computer one of siblings that group who's hate me I trying understand it without use computer avoid problems with them put something on me but during these 5 years I was saw their behavior getting worse they starting doing unbelievable things even my parents still till today not know about it they also starting hate towards to my parents like they enemies but my parents still not pay attention about their behavior use my parents hurts me.. If someone really wants hear more about it ill do write it save a lot of families lifes from destroy it.
There are no misters.
-Yoda Master
@@EnglishOrECJP
i feel like that just adds build-up and expectation , which makes u failing more painful
Allah SWT has dominion over everything, pray to him and he will answer insha Allah. But we have to put in the work as well