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@@Xcorgiyour the narcissist cause you spitting negativity when she is trying to educate people but u pick up 1 comment or make judgments .. assuming you know what’s in peoples mind or reasons for people actions lol ❤😂 “ If a person knows all the answers … you are either a god or a beast” lol smh I betcha you are single … cause ain’t no way a woman would stay with you by being so negative and judgmental! True or not?
I've seen it. Unfortunately I'm still living it. I need to get some help. I refuse to give up on my daughter, my co parent I believe, had narcissistic personality behavior.
Im expereiencing this right now i dont know why i couldnt see this before, knew something was wrong after 1 week of dating but somehow its been 6 years and 2 kids and i dont know if i have become a bitch , or deeply depressed , mayebe im coping him and im a narcissist now i feel broken and not happy.
@citystarliverpool you are a loving, feeling human. And you will find your path. Don't stop being a beautiful human to you, your children and the world. Let the narc spin. Step aside. We've all been there. And are here for you. ❤️
I have been blinded by Godly reasoning. Being a mom a gran. I am convinced these guys are silent cruel Toxic narcissists. I got ill tortured to find out my abuse.Drs proved this truth
Keep going! Good for you. I’m narc and Hoover free many years now and I could walk to his house from where I live. It’s worth it. I’m worth it. Be well!
Back when I unblocked childhood trauma via meditation and actually ended up feeling like unaliving myself because of the compound effects of dealing with that and verbal abuse from a senior parent. Whom in turn told me to "do it" when I told him how I felt. He's kept me trapped. When I don't respond he sends his mother,my grandmother as a flying monkey. She's actually the enabler in the toxic family dynamic.
I love when she says something like “Go no contact to Save Yo Soul!!!” This reminded me of exactly what I had to do to rid a narcissist completely out of my life. A narcissist can drain you dry of blood, make u think u’re going crazy. They will give u anxiety attacks if u never had anxiety. To go no contact will bring u so Much Joy! 😊
They can definitely give you anxiety attacks. I thought I was done with the malignant narcissist I knew. However, I had severe anxiety attacks triggered by a vitamin D deficiency. Most of these anxiety attacks were related to the malignant narcissist. I kept imagining various scenarios where he was trying to hurt me.
I spent a year being as horrible to him as he was to me. I realized I wasn't doing anything but ALSO being horrible. He just double downed and and talked in circles. I decided to go no contact. That was a year ago, this fool was on my doorstep just last month on Valentine's Day with a teddy bear. On Christmas with a gift. On Thanksgiving with some other things, I think bones for my dog. Not once did I even open the screen door. I was short and to the point. Told him to stop it's over. This guy textede last week wanting to f*** His words not mine. He's delusional. But even now if I told him I'd take him back if he could just admit to treating me badly, he absolutely could not. These people are crazy.
Omg mine betrayed me knowing I'd be pissed and even had the audacity to think I'd want to sleep with him AFTER and that I still would want to be with him.
I have the same. I could take my love back if he realised why he made me cry at the airport. He apologised a week after ' I apologise but I do not know for what'. I realised he doesnt understand feelings and anything I may be upset about is my fault
@@p1472 not to offend you if you don’t believe in 12 step programs - but based upon my similar experience in my 4/20 year ring of hell with an abuser (I’m the idiot who keeps returning). Don’t allow your UNWARRANTED shame to drive your actions If your situation is even remotely similar to mine - it didn’t take your abuser a day to inject their “poison “ into your life- it won’t return to the life you deserve in a day Even after you leave you’ll still need to heal Take it a day at a time - some days between the violent outbursts and cruel and unwarranted verbal attacks I am so disappointed and disgusted with MYSELF that I can only exist in 5 minute increments Contrary to what you’re being subjected to IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT sorry for the long response - I wish you well
23 years of marriage and I made a point of being OUT of his physical reach. 1. Walking he'd "hip check" me. 2. Sitting he'd "put his arm around me " only to hit me in the head. 23 years. 3. He never called me by my name. 4. He never returned the things he "borrowed". 5. He estranged me with My daughter ( his step) and moved in with her and her little family 2 weeks after leaving me. 8 years and my daughter and I are still triangulated and estranged. And this is the short list. I left the State. Changed my phone number. And hired a specialty firm to handle the Spousal Support and harassment. Air is sweeter!
@@amari_chaji3307I was frightened of them 16 years ago when I was just 26 but not now in my early 40 's .Fortunately I m a therapist and I had to literally advance and study my knowledge in narcissistic abuse and narcissism!
I’m tired of being harassed after going silent. He won’t stop bothering my family and friends. I’m about to get a protective order . I’m so angry and feel violated!
6 weeks no contact. Walked away from everything. 1 year ago i tried, but couldn't do the no contact because of his constant messages, ranging from rage to love bombing, etc.., he was able to love bomb me and guilt me to go back. What a mistake! This time , now 6 weeks in , I blocked him from all my technologies, and left my personal belongings. I am getting my life back. I watch these videos daily. They give me power to be me. Thank you.
This is my exact situation, I've been in it for over 8 years. I left almost 3 weeks ago with as much as I could carry & as hard as it is I know this is my only choice! Good luck to u
you people are being deceived... these are End Times & Satan is devouring marriages up left and right... this lady is speaking evil .... every jilted individual responds very similarly to what she has placed a scary label to.... she doesn't mention one trait, which is the narcissist is typically the cheater too..if cheated on? then run ya... only legitimate reason to divorce under Biblical terms.... otherwise, they're probably normal.... look at these comments!!! lol.. so everybody divorced is narcissist?? lol snake oil science...
Feels good to go silent I feel so in control and powerful because I'm not allowing the disgust, disrespect and violation affect me . I get a real sense of honor for myself because I can see how ugly they're and how low they'll stoop . Going silent helps you really see who's the problem and it gives you so much self confidence the same thing they aim to destroy your silence is literally your weapon .
Well said, thank you for your kind words that inspire me and feel so much better and will deal better with those narrow minded beings about being attacked 24/7.
Yes! I told mine I don't have drama in my life only with you. He admitted to being difficult but still blames me for his behavior. I just hung up and blocked him a week and 4 days ago. My life is now back to positivity and although I'm grieving I'm so relieved. Its nice not walking on egg shells.
This video was posted two weeks ago. I’m in the midst of reclaiming my power from a year of manipulation,lies, cheating, etc. I just discovered the type individual I’m in a relationship with. It’s been very hard and complicated, I asked myself over and over what happened after the first few months and before we moved together. Somehow, by the grace of GOD I stumbled into these videos that are so educational and informative. I realize that I was dealing with someone with npd. I really cared for this person but thanks to the information and videos I’m trying the silent treatment that I’ve been given so many times since we moved together. Wish me luck as I’m in the process of taking my life back from this horrible person, and thanks for the valuable information.
Thank you for your vedio, really helpful, my life has been sucked out me by those nassicsits out there to comment on anything that is a part of me. Everything about me just make those groupies crazily unhappy and punish me for just being myself.
OMG this is my life now ,he suddenly turned a doormat which makes me even more provoked..so he can be this loving and supportive after 9years of being married with 2boys... I am in my awakening which stems from realizing how deeply narcissistic my family is just for me to look by my side and went BUNKERS. God gave me wisdom,discernment and understanding i have gotten from these videos and HE IS IN HOT PEPPER SOUP,NOBODY MOVES😂 he needs to alert all of his demons cos this African princess not about to play,foot on neck. P.s start self improving,i lost a few pounds under one week,i started using the apartment gym,when he's at work ,im at the gym(treadmill,cardio and boxing) 😉 he sees my results without knowing how 😅
He told me 8 months ago the relationship wasn't going to work so I walked away and went no contact. Why argue with someone who is never wrong? He wasn't pleased at all. He slammed the door behind me.
my mother did this. She said if you don't do what I want, I'm not grandma to your kids . I didn't bother to reply and never saw her again. She did try to recontact via her new husband but it didn't work. She ranted on about how her daughter could treat her like that but in reality, she had suggested it herself, which she kept very quiet.
It’s just sad they can’t securely attach and have empathy and warmth - having to deal with them like this is like losing yourself there is no solution it’s just sad they can’t be happy
The day I left after the discard, last thing I ever texted was “I’m gone.” And I never tried in any way to contact him again. Of course he erased me from his life immediately. Still Narc and Hoover free nearly 8 years.
I'm married to a covert narcissist, for 24 years now. I'm so drained. My days are waking up go to work, I have no friends at work, eat lunch by myself in the back of my car watching Asian movies. I no longer have feelings. Just like a robot. To leave I would be living on the streets. He controls all his money, what I earn, goes to paying for my expenses, and my sons. So so much, goes on I could fill the comments box. I truly felt like and still feel crazy. My get away is sleep and movies where I can live vicariously. What life can I have at the age 61?
@@carolefujishima7069 I’m so sorry you are and have been going through this, it’s never too late to take back your life, 61 is not too old there is help and support out there and remember do not be afraid to live alone it actually saves your sanity, god bless and I hope you get away soon and get a better life ❤️
I’m praying for you. Strength! You deserve happiness. 60 is the new 40! Save your soul. Praying for you. No one deserves to feel alone 💯♥️🙏🏼 sending a virtual hug 🤗 & love
@@carolefujishima7069 They have domestic violence shelters for women with children. I'm praying for you, I know what your going thru I walked away on Sunday after 37 yrs of marriage.
It’s only been two weeks since separating after 4 years of feeling like I couldn’t express my true feelings. He literally sucked the life out of me. Trying to find myself again. Please pray for me as this is so difficult!!
My narcissistic wife (recently separated) has only bought me a birthday present twice in our 6 years together. Now we never did presents. It was mutual. I didn't care. But it's very telling that BOTH times she did this we were broken up. I can't tell you how disgusted and angry I felt when I got the special delivery through the post (she told me by email to expect its arrival). I immediately crossed out my address and wrote return to sender then took it to be posted. It wouldn't fit in the post box so I literally stamped it flat. No idea what was in it. And I don't care. Everything is a sick manipulation. I'm just upset with myself because she still won. She got to me. I'm going NC as fast as I can. I'd have done it earlier but the only reason I didn't is because I'm too nice to make her get deported on such short notice. But I realise now she only wanted the visa out of me to begin with lol. Narcissists are rotten to the core. Sorry not sorry.
I’d like to suggest that you don’t say “ MY NARCISSIST “ You must NOT TAKE OWNERSHIP OF HER MENTAL MEAN MANIA!!!!! When you have to talk about them say THE NARCISSIST !! I do this and it helps to remove myself from him!!❤️
Very funny story. I have a narcissistic wife myself since 15 years. I even had a narcissistic mother, 3 narcissistic girl friends and a narcissistic teacher. I found out a few month ago. It took me 1 or 2 days to be completely heal from this shock. Fortunately, I did not need therapy, as I am normally successful and lucky by nature. But I do not divorce. I still learning from them navigating the issue. I can spot now narcissists like a Marihuana dog smelling Marihuana. Easy 🤭
@@p1472 I got 2 gifts in 15 years, and never sex. This might be, why I have survived. But I gave her 1 million dollar in this 15 years. Of course I am broke now, but still happy and planning the future 🤭 Things do not always turn out the same way with narcissists. I did not know, she was a narcissist. I even thought she was my twin flame, not twin tower 😋. She played her role very good 😌
It’s best not to have any social media. They will stalk from fake pages or stare at your profile pic. I’d recommend not giving them access to any parts of you. I feel better when the narc is blocked out completely.
My ex bestie is doing this now to our common group of friends. I have warned them before she even started the smear campaign and one friend of mine actually said that 'Maybe she really cares about you that's why she's asking everyone else?' and I was like NO. If my ex bestie really does care about me, she wouldn't be asking EVERYONE in our circle about me, she's acting like she cares when she tells them about me not talking to her and she's worried, blah, blah, blah so everyone would actually think that she cares for my mental health but it's actually the opposite! They're actually good at convincing people how empathetic they are to their victims! So that you'll look crazy to your support system! OMG. It's so frustrating!
Yes! The same happened to me with my ex 13 years ago. No one believed me about him because around town he was such a “friendly, helpful, great guy”. Ha! It’s no surprise he’s been through 10 “relationships” since we broke up. lol.
My older brother used to be the scapegoat. He moved out for 4 years. Went no contact. Then got divorced and came back. Now I’m the scapegoat and I’ve been watching what he does. He will just walk away if narc mother starts to become too much to deal with. So she can’t use him as a narc supply. She now has latched to me and in a way I’m trapped here cause I lost my job and I’m a single mom with a 3 year old. I’m trying to figure out how to leave. Only last year I learnt about Narc abuse. And omg I finally feel validated. I have so much repressed anger because of this. I feel robbed of a loving family and robbed of a life that could have been so much healthier. So many failed relationships under my belt. I’m so ready emotionally to leave and go no contact with this family system but alas I’m just not able to financially… yet. Key word… yet.
❤ Get a job, volunteer where you can take baby. Get help Title 20. What state is helping with these needs go. Start with your state and get out of the environment, don't rear your precious loved child with such foolishness.❤
I love the advice of things to say to them. It’s encouraging them to mature whether they do it or not, we can’t keep enabling them like children. The more people call them out the more they are forced to regroup and think of what else they can do to get their way. That’s the only thing that “matures” them. The tactics narcs have arrived at are because they are effective on adults. Gaslighting is confusing. Triangulation. Smear campaigns, reactive abuse…. All tried and true ways to hid a childish crying tantrum that doesn’t work anymore at their age. But if everything stopped working I wonder what would happen.
Broken people from broken family of origin. Look at the family. That's what your family will become. RUN Our quiet harmonious nature is no match for the Narc. RUN VibeTribe is crucial. Respect
In my experience, it was the posture and head hanging low like he was being cheated on! He was just saying things like “ I just got a lot on my mind“ silently placing his expectations on me acting like he is victimized!
Right after my narc husband died, I met a woman that became my best friend. First year was great, she invited me out all the time, stay at her house, meet her friends/family…we were inseparable and was everything I needed at the time. As I started to get healthy, she got jealous, competitive and abusive. She’s an alcoholic that gets nasty. The last fight consisted of me having a difference of opinion (in a general subject) and she went nuts. Told me “I’ve been tired of you and your opinions for a while now”….I told her that’s great, I’ll make sure it’s not a problem anymore and left. I was concerned about retaliation so I sent a nice message next day wishing her the best. Hope to never hear from her again, but if I do, no answer is an answer!!!!
I just feel like his Mother because I am treated like his Mother. When I bring that up of course he denies it or laughs. Everything you say makes perfect sense. Over the years his actions all made sense. I had my suspicions but when our son called him a narcissist then it became more real. They suck the life out of you.
@@clintonnagy1662 just take accountability for your own actions and seek help or counseling for me christ is always best when dealing with life issues trust me love yourself
I just want a man that wants to settle down & not play games you would think a 46 year old man would want the same Narcissist can be any age is what im learning im 40 & just thought being with someone a little older would be better but oh was i wrong .The more you have the more they want to take take take & put you down for
Age has nothing to do with it. An abuser is an abuser. Are you sure you really want the kind of guy who just wants to settle down and not play games? Unfortunately the ones who are healthy and won't abuse us tend to go unnoticed. If you meet that man you'll likely find him boring.
My recent ex (going on now 6 days) always projected & called me the narcissist. I'm pretty sure the reason I haven't heard a peep from him is because he's already on the move with a new woman. Obviously, one he already had lined up before our dramatic end... Meanwhile - he's probably been sitting on the edge of his seat waiting to hear from me, just so he can ignore me & get satisfaction that I tried. NOT HAPPENING. 😁
Yeah this sounds familiar. It's been almost 3 weeks now for me. I hope things are going well for you and you stay strong. I have to stay strong too, it's hard. Much love.
@@PurpleReels - Thank you! Yes, still going strong & as you can see by my first response, it's now been 4 months!! It really does get easier. Hang in there. ✌️
I was trying to understand WHY my wife wouldn't love me back. Why she would do things that were destroying us. I was desperate to understand. Now that we are divorced, I understand😊
My narc ex I put out 3 days ago. I herd nothing from him until late last night. He sent me just a middle finger emoji. I didn't respond. This morning he text my son about getting the rest of his things my son called him out saying he sent the middle finger to start stuff. The narc said I sent that because I wanted to see if I was still blocked. Then my son called him out on his smear campaign. He denied it. My son asked why he cared if he was blocked or not and the narc only responded with I'll be by to get the rest of my things thank you. And we haven't herd from him since.
I go silent to try to remember who I was. Sadly, I just realized these past many years, with NYE alone, as the final straw. Now,..its like now what? I knew it was coming or should come, but im frozen. Im able in all areas, but im really alone and honestly, nervous a lot. I know i should leave, and my bag has been packed weeks, but im still here 'alone still but'. I dont know... Dont really have anywhere left to go to. I'm a stranger to those I used to know(family included) 🥳😖😧🤦🏻♂️🤷🏻♂️
my ex narc friend tried to get what she wanted by complaining and then bringing up a unrelated past where I had a problem with a different person, but she was putting herself in my shoes while portraying me as the problematic person... using that as some kind of comparison to trigger me but at the same time she complained that she feels like she cant really tell me anything because shes afraid Id get annoyed... so its like, she tells me she doesn't want to trigger me but then triggers me anyway and then I'm left there trying to explain to her the situation as mature as I can but looking back at it now, damn... I see what she did there
Can’t get isolated any more than I am and I’ve seen it before. Don’t want anybody to do what I want except be human to me. Literally ask for the most minimal thing in the world and can’t get that so pretty much done. Not afraid. Just confused. Literally don’t know what people are doing or why. I never have but didn’t care as long as wasn’t being attacked. Now that’s all I get when I didn’t ever have anything against anyone. I don’t get what negotiation process??? What are you supposed to be negotiating about???
Sometimes when I call my wife out on her narcissistic behavior she gives me this long stare and doesn't say anything. No denial, deflection, apology , just this blank stare like I just took a hit of crack and she waits for me to move my eyes, like a dominance standoff. Very bizarre. I just hold eye contact and don't back down. We're seperated, so its not so bad anymore, shes probably seeing somebody else I guess. She wanted me to get out when I started calling her out on it. I was kinda ready anyway so I said good She doesn't like the no contact, I just say I don't have anything good to say and there's no point in hurting your feelings
Awesome information and education. Thank you so so much for helping people navigate through this hell. The legal end of escaping and trying to prove this type of abuse is absolutely excruciating…and EXACTLY why they try to drag it out as long as they can legally…to punish and torture you as long as they can…as long as you are still stuck in it…you’re unable to move forward and fully heal your self and your life, when that’s what their goal to destroy was all along. Or to force you to walk away from your rights to any thing you ever worked and paid for. Horrifyingly exploitative. It’s horrifying to experience the depths of this type of abuse….makes a regular healthy separation look unbelievably mature and adult. Thank you for all your hard work exposing this abuse. I pray one day the courts will have the laws in place to hold these types of abusers accountable for the brain damage it causes …(cognitive dissonance, and depression) and years and years of therapy trying to understand and heal. 👏👏👏🔥💪❤️☯️🖖
My husband doesn’t care really if I don’t speak, I’ve asked him so many times to talk and stuff that I just gave up and just go about my day. I know I can’t live the rest of my life this way. We’ve been married 13 years and he’s started doing this stuff more this past year, he never bonded with the kids, never woukd really compliment me, if anything he would put me down or tease me in front of family and we haven’t had sex in a year but he says it’s cuz we don’t have privacy but I told him we could even go in the car, take a drive but he makes no effort. Even when we’re home completely alone he shows no interest
I can't begin to tell you how much you are helping me to get through this time. I feel so validated as you understand and express so well pretty much exactly what I've been going through. This really strengthens my resolve to stay no contact, though it is so hard, but i need to get my life back again.
@@peterwatson8838I ve been living a hell for almost 20 years with my narcissistic neighbours at the ground floor....He s a lawsuit and nobody can imagine the hell they can do especially in this situation....very dangerous...but They both got a penal complaint and they hit back with others ....it s truly a nightmare.... I m an empath and I mna therapist and I can't take it anymore....I want to see them exactly in the same hell they brought me ....however they re not married,nor having children...how would they have one when they hate themselves ?😅
Me too , I have just realised that my husband after 20 years what he is and now things are worse than ever especially when I told him what I thought he was ! Big mistake on my part so now back to silent treatment? I’m so tired stressed he’s sucked the life out me and I feel I can’t leave I wouldn’t know how ?
Yes the part you mention how they stare at you . I had this experience . The narcissist sat fairly far behind me while her long term mate sat in front of me in an outside setting … I turned around to see where she was bc we were having dinner and she was just sitting there straying at me .. not eating or anything . It had been years since I had seen her and that was not the issue it was and I did find I became a “easy target” she later told that .. to triangulate and get rid of her long term bf .. yeh I had no idea what I was dealing with . Thank you for your video and I intend to buy your book too . Wow ! It’s all a bad bad life if you are a narcissist
Not falling for it thank you so much it’s my first time running into this problem it’s so painful I couldn’t turn on him so I turned on my self if you know what that means but I gotta start healing from this 70 day situationship
"I Know My Value!", and yes... absolutely trust your gut! If you feel something is wrong in the relationship and the feeling is getting worse, something IS wrong. 100%
I did a 5 week no contact this sept. This was months b4 i even watched these videos and knew thats what it was called. All i know is that i got tired of her verbal abuse. I was happy until i broke the no contact and found out that she already had another man in her life. Breaking the no contact was the worse thing ive ever done in my life.
I find the part where you said. Tell the narcissist. " I can see you're upset." I believe my ex is a narcissist. During conversations where I have tried to explain that he has brought up an inappropriate topic with our child. He almost always starts saying to me. " I can see that this is an emotional response". I kinda found this ironic. Because I feel like he is trying to use this tactic to get a rise out of me.
My sister put the the microwave and burner in the porch because she doesn't like the smell of some the food my daughter and I cook. We live in a large house and so we do have space. But for financial reasons I have to stay put.I don't mind the silent treatment, it's so peaceful.😊
I walked away after 27 yrs of marriage.Ghosted him, No contact and gave him a silent treatment. I started life afresh without him. He never believed that I can recover or healed or survived. Even now he is still watching me.
@@gma729 I was into depression he was still stressing me out. He make sure I don’t hv any source of income and dat gave him a total control over me. He drives joy frm my pain. I walked away as a living corpse. II walked away with nothing,
Mine got mad when I didn’t cry and try to fix it I just ignored that silent treatment he stormed out of the house and came home late I still gave no response the temper tantrum was funny I told his mom he will not break me or make me cry I left instead
@@Michele-f5p Good on you for leaving. Narcissists are hopeless when they don't get treatment, and they're hopeless even when they do get treatment. Leaving is the only option.
I put him on notice since the last phone call some 3 years ago. I told him no more conversations and will only accept text messages or emails. He twisted my words around and bullied me on the phone. So far so good. I kept silent since then except through my lawyer. It really works because, as a lawyer himself, written comments can and will be used against him. My life has been very peaceful except for when there’s more hearings to prepare for etc etc. I don’t expect this divorce will end soon which is approaching its 4the year.
Not falling for it. Ghosted her. I never thought she could be so cruel and hearless but she had most of the behaviors you talk about. I was so lonely and she was so beautiful. I saw red flags but thought she might change. She didnt. Lesson learned. Still miss her and even gaslighting myself. Haha
I ghosted my 8 years narcissist for 3 months now and he's busy trying his way back bt am done and it's my turn for rejection I've been emotionally drained for 8 good years
I live in the same house with my narcissist, mother, and I’m giving her the silent treatment and she doesn’t like it. She starts doing things to get my attention and get me to speak to her, once I’m out of her home she’s not getting my address, I’ll keep it from the best I can, and I might have to change my telephone number. Really don’t wanna do that because I would have to go through over 300 numbers in my phone and text everybody that I want to have my number.
That is a huge difference between how we and they work. They play games and have zero sincerity in their actions. When we are done...we are genuinely done.
Love all your great information! Just so you know, the phrase is not, "all THE sudden". It is "all OF A sudden". You're not the only one to make that same mistake.
Definitely NOT falling for it. Typically acting like a savant genius (in his mind) my not responding has finally taken to saying, "I love you , I'm sorry" in a song !
I NEED help! I’ve was in a relationship with someone who has narcissistic personality disorder. He currently has our kids because I became homeless after getting Covid which led to pneumonia in both my lungs, and then a heart attack month and half later. I stayed silent from the abuse. I don’t think people realize how the abuse over so many years takes a toll on a person and makes them feel worthless. I’ve worked the past 16 months to get my leverage. The system where I’m at is so bad and refuses to take the time to look into a person. I’m looking for support to get me through what I need to do to get my kids.
An acquaintance we had falsely accused my husband of stalking her. All the while she would randomly show up at our house uninvited and after we tried to cut off contact she would text and call him out of the blue. She also had mail sent to our house with her name on it. VERY strange behavior. Later she showed up to our house with a mutual friend and tried to hoover her way back in but I just can’t look over all that psycho behavior. We kept records of the texts and the mail in case she tries to come up with anymore wild stories and accusations.
Dealing with a covert/self-righteous at work. Because I have met these before, I decided to step back and let her be. herself after she deflected her rage on me following an encounter with our supervisor who was giving her a correction. [ was the bystander whom she threw mud at.] This was a few weeks ago. She would walk by my cubicle, barely grunt her good mornings, but since I'm not a mind-reader, I can't really listen. Now it's been amped up to her coming to help a colleague who sits at an angle from me. The funny thing is, I don't really care what she does since I'm moving in another direction and since our split, there have been nothing but good things happening in my life since then. In addition, even if she may try the smear campaign, I was told she comes with a reputation (that I was unaware of). We will see what happens.
I had the same situation with a ex and family members. Of I soon worked it out that when they stopped contact it was they're either getting their needs met in other ways, or they didn't have the need to fool me yet again by being "nice" as they didn't need my help in anyway. The trouble I used to have in easy making excuses for them or more like accepting than truly being able to forgive in my heart their past behaviours etc., was the greater the time space distance I had, I'd think I missed their "nice" side right at the timing they'd contact out of the blue again as if nothing bad had happened. It was just like a cycle of the same old situation for years, until enough was enough and I broke my side of the co-dependancy that I hadn't realised they'd built in my mind as if I'd have no-one in life if not them. It did take me courage I never thought I had to "do" life without them and of course adjusting whole lifestyle and time at the void of then being literally alone. But hey, in the fact I've part made life changes that suit me not them and am still in the process of when new other's that will enhance my life as much as I always do my best to do to and for others.... will come into my path, so to speak, it's giving plenty of "peace" time alone I'm not used to in concentrating on being good to myself. As when I know the hard work I continue to do in change in myself re needs, reactions etc., I get even more reinforcement that I can't change a single other no matter how good or with acceptance I'd give them. I often picture boundary lines like a elastic band, yep can be stretched to a certain point, but once snapped that elastic band can't hold anything back together again 😉 All good vibes your way, as I remember too well how confusing others mixed behaviours had my mind to try and work both them and myself out ❤
Maybe they cool themselves down narcissists also feel anger. Then they come back because they care about you too, just can't control themselves sometimes.
I took myself off social media beca use they had flying monkeys, people that were associated with them etc etc. It was easier just to take myself off social media. I was with this person many moons!🎉
I like seeing people I know though it seems to make them mad when I do so that confuses me to and seems they get triggered by that. So think that’s a tgem problem
![SAFEPLANET - ดาวเคราะห์ [ THE PLANET ]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/4X1XL3I_k3c/mqdefault.jpg)
Want to learn more about how to be your own hero? Join me for a free live webinar! I will give you all kinds of tools, and how to shift the power dynamic with a narcissist. Join me right here& slay.rebeccazung.com/freetrainingrz-3627
YOU must be pretty big narcissist yourself because you tell people to post things in your comments section but you NEVER RESPOND to them!
@@Xcorgiyour the narcissist cause you spitting negativity when she is trying to educate people but u pick up 1 comment or make judgments .. assuming you know what’s in peoples mind or reasons for people actions lol ❤😂 “ If a person knows all the answers … you are either a god or a beast” lol smh I betcha you are single … cause ain’t no way a woman would stay with you by being so negative and judgmental! True or not?
@@Xcorgiyour the narc
U expect special treatment and u just throwed a tantrum over it in a comment
Who even cares if she is a Narc...really....she speaks the truth. Does she have to validate you?!@@Xcorgi
I've seen it. Unfortunately I'm still living it. I need to get some help. I refuse to give up on my daughter, my co parent I believe, had narcissistic personality behavior.
Today!!! I literally divorced him today after 30 years marriage 😍I can finally breathe…. I feel so alive ❤
Finally you have the opportunity to appreciate, enjoy your persona but most importantly to realize how mentally strong you are.
Life is good.
Congratulations!!! 😍💛💪🏾
@@emanuelsantos5925
Absolutely true thank you 😍my kids see me in a different light, I’m myself again.
Life is good 💜
Congratulations! Queen energy!
Many congratulations to you. ! ❤🎉
Can spot them a mile away now!
Learned a great lesson. Never knew people like this existed.
SAME!! Didn’t even know there was such a thing.
I won't take the bait!
Yes I also never knew people like this existed....stay strong and God bless you in Jesus Christ name 🙏
Me too, after living with one for 37 years I can spot them a mile away.
I had no idea these people could be so subtle but evil !
They crave a reaction. When you refuse to react they can't stand it.
and they will pick poke and push every button until you react no matter how long it takes
I cant believe how predictable they are once you learn their tactics. It all plays out exactly as Rebecca describes.
Im expereiencing this right now i dont know why i couldnt see this before, knew something was wrong after 1 week of dating but somehow its been 6 years and 2 kids and i dont know if i have become a bitch , or deeply depressed , mayebe im coping him and im a narcissist now i feel broken and not happy.
@citystarliverpool you are a loving, feeling human. And you will find your path. Don't stop being a beautiful human to you, your children and the world. Let the narc spin. Step aside. We've all been there. And are here for you. ❤️
EXACTLY!!!
Crazy isn’t it? This hit me like a ton of bricks when I was educated about how it extends beyond country borders. As if they all grew up together.
I have been blinded by
Godly reasoning.
Being a mom a gran.
I am convinced these
guys are silent cruel
Toxic narcissists.
I got ill tortured to find
out my abuse.Drs proved this truth
101 days of NO CONTACT.🎉
Good for you! Keep it up❤
Check this out - icanslay.com/ Keep slaying!
two years here. cheers to you
Keep going! Good for you. I’m narc and Hoover free many years now and I could walk to his house from where I live. It’s worth it. I’m worth it. Be well!
Starting mines today im tired 😴 he took me for granted I want to be strong like this
Narcissistic rage can instantly morph into verbal abuse, physical abuse, and homicidal threats. Believe every threat!!!
I know I was living it
Back when I unblocked childhood trauma via meditation and actually ended up feeling like unaliving myself because of the compound effects of dealing with that and verbal abuse from a senior parent. Whom in turn told me to "do it" when I told him how I felt. He's kept me trapped. When I don't respond he sends his mother,my grandmother as a flying monkey. She's actually the enabler in the toxic family dynamic.
Stay strong. You are enough
That's right when you start ignoring them they make it physical
Very unpredictable and if narcotics, involved watch out. This is no way to live a peaceful productive life.
They like you to apologize for what they have done to you.
So so true..
Yes it is… 100% true.
Don't Reward Bad Behaviors... Run... dont walk away. Save yourself & sanity. You're. Welcome. Trust me...Life it too short for this type of CraZy
Well said. Life is too short to surround yourself with miserable, insecure and unhappy people. Narcissists doesn't deserve you.
@@nonstop326 exactly!
8 years no contact 🎉🎉🎉🎉 finally I am free from narc ......
I love when she says something like “Go no contact to Save Yo Soul!!!” This reminded me of exactly what I had to do to rid a narcissist completely out of my life. A narcissist can drain you dry of blood, make u think u’re going crazy. They will give u anxiety attacks if u never had anxiety. To go no contact will bring u so Much Joy! 😊
They can definitely give you anxiety attacks. I thought I was done with the malignant narcissist I knew. However, I had severe anxiety attacks triggered by a vitamin D deficiency. Most of these anxiety attacks were related to the malignant narcissist. I kept imagining various scenarios where he was trying to hurt me.
@paulalee2345 holy shit . I am in deep. I love my kids but I need to go mo contact or go insane. I fell for the hoover.
I spent a year being as horrible to him as he was to me. I realized I wasn't doing anything but ALSO being horrible. He just double downed and and talked in circles. I decided to go no contact. That was a year ago, this fool was on my doorstep just last month on Valentine's Day with a teddy bear. On Christmas with a gift. On Thanksgiving with some other things, I think bones for my dog. Not once did I even open the screen door. I was short and to the point. Told him to stop it's over. This guy textede last week wanting to f***
His words not mine. He's delusional. But even now if I told him I'd take him back if he could just admit to treating me badly, he absolutely could not. These people are crazy.
Omg mine betrayed me knowing I'd be pissed and even had the audacity to think I'd want to sleep with him AFTER and that I still would want to be with him.
Don't go back is a trap it's happened to me 34 year's 🖤🤬 yes pray and have a blessing life😊 we only have one to live🎉🎉🎉😊🙏☘☘☘🌹🌷🌹☘🙏🤗
Why entertain that? Block them and be done.
I have the same. I could take my love back if he realised why he made me cry at the airport. He apologised a week after ' I apologise but I do not know for what'.
I realised he doesnt understand feelings and anything I may be upset about is my fault
I know my value 😢
Silence is power!!! The power of self control 😅❤🎉
TRUTH
I KNOW My Values!
My time to wake up and START LIVING
Check this out - icanslay.com/ Keep slaying!
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
It takes strength- I wish you the best
TRUTH
@@p1472 not to offend you if you don’t believe in 12 step programs - but based upon my similar experience in my 4/20 year ring of hell with an abuser (I’m the idiot who keeps returning). Don’t allow your UNWARRANTED shame to drive your actions
If your situation is even remotely similar to mine - it didn’t take your abuser a day to inject their “poison “ into your life- it won’t return to the life you deserve in a day
Even after you leave you’ll still need to heal
Take it a day at a time - some days between the violent outbursts and cruel and unwarranted verbal attacks I am so disappointed and disgusted with MYSELF that I can only exist in 5 minute increments
Contrary to what you’re being subjected to IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT
sorry for the long response - I wish you well
They are not only sickening and also frightening to be near
23 years of marriage and I made a point of being OUT of his physical reach.
1. Walking he'd "hip check" me.
2. Sitting he'd "put his arm around me " only to hit me in the head. 23 years.
3. He never called me by my name.
4. He never returned the things he "borrowed".
5. He estranged me with My daughter ( his step) and moved in with her and her little family 2 weeks after leaving me. 8 years and my daughter and I are still triangulated and estranged.
And this is the short list.
I left the State. Changed my phone number. And hired a specialty firm to handle the Spousal Support and harassment.
Air is sweeter!
I agree I am frightened of them and anyone that likes to be around then.
Yep
@@amari_chaji3307I was frightened of them 16 years ago when I was just 26 but not now in my early 40 's .Fortunately I m a therapist and I had to literally advance and study my knowledge in narcissistic abuse and narcissism!
@@HoneyBadger80886Smart lady and you and your daughter will be together soon.❤
'I won't take the bait!' 'I know my value' 'Break free' 'I have value' 'Respect me' Very good video Rebecca Zung :)
That was a great comment....thank you❤
I’m tired of being harassed after going silent. He won’t stop bothering my family and friends. I’m about to get a protective order . I’m so angry and feel violated!
6 weeks no contact. Walked away from everything. 1 year ago i tried, but couldn't do the no contact because of his constant messages, ranging from rage to love bombing, etc.., he was able to love bomb me and guilt me to go back. What a mistake! This time , now 6 weeks in , I blocked him from all my technologies, and left my personal belongings. I am getting my life back. I watch these videos daily. They give me power to be me. Thank you.
This is my exact situation, I've been in it for over 8 years. I left almost 3 weeks ago with as much as I could carry & as hard as it is I know this is my only choice! Good luck to u
Stay strong. Protect your Peace 🕊️.
you people are being deceived... these are End Times & Satan is devouring marriages up left and right... this lady is speaking evil .... every jilted individual responds very similarly to what she has placed a scary label to.... she doesn't mention one trait, which is the narcissist is typically the cheater too..if cheated on? then run ya... only legitimate reason to divorce under Biblical terms.... otherwise, they're probably normal.... look at these comments!!! lol.. so everybody divorced is narcissist?? lol snake oil science...
Yes!!!, I left on Sunday & I'm finally at peace & no anxiety.
Feels good to go silent I feel so in control and powerful because I'm not allowing the disgust, disrespect and violation affect me . I get a real sense of honor for myself because I can see how ugly they're and how low they'll stoop . Going silent helps you really see who's the problem and it gives you so much self confidence the same thing they aim to destroy your silence is literally your weapon .
Well said, thank you for your kind words that inspire me and feel so much better and will deal better with those narrow minded beings about being attacked 24/7.
Yes! I told mine I don't have drama in my life only with you. He admitted to being difficult but still blames me for his behavior. I just hung up and blocked him a week and 4 days ago. My life is now back to positivity and although I'm grieving I'm so relieved. Its nice not walking on egg shells.
Exactly ❤. Take your power back is $ in the bank
@@NatzTalkI agree it's been almost a week myself but feels like I took my integrity respect and value back 💯 👌
They are like time bombs and unpredictable which can be horrible to spoil your moods.
Join me in my free webinar - icanslay.com
Spoil Everything that brings you joy, satisfaction, pride. You deserve the good. Ditch the sob.
Sooo true!!!
& EVERY holiday!
This video was posted two weeks ago. I’m in the midst of reclaiming my power from a year of manipulation,lies, cheating, etc. I just discovered the type individual I’m in a relationship with. It’s been very hard and complicated, I asked myself over and over what happened after the first few months and before we moved together. Somehow, by the grace of GOD I stumbled into these videos that are so educational and informative. I realize that I was dealing with someone with npd. I really cared for this person but thanks to the information and videos I’m trying the silent treatment that I’ve been given so many times since we moved together. Wish me luck as I’m in the process of taking my life back from this horrible person, and thanks for the valuable information.
If you aren't married, get out. Run.
Thank you for your vedio, really helpful, my life has been sucked out me by those nassicsits out there to comment on anything that is a part of me. Everything about me just make those groupies crazily unhappy and punish me for just being myself.
@grandmagranny9562 you Are a beautiful empathetic authentic soul. Grey rock those too blind stupid and mean to see and accept beautiful you. 😍
OMG this is my life now ,he suddenly turned a doormat which makes me even more provoked..so he can be this loving and supportive after 9years of being married with 2boys... I am in my awakening which stems from realizing how deeply narcissistic my family is just for me to look by my side and went BUNKERS. God gave me wisdom,discernment and understanding i have gotten from these videos and HE IS IN HOT PEPPER SOUP,NOBODY MOVES😂
he needs to alert all of his demons cos this African princess not about to play,foot on neck.
P.s start self improving,i lost a few pounds under one week,i started using the apartment gym,when he's at work ,im at the gym(treadmill,cardio and boxing) 😉 he sees my results without knowing how 😅
It happened abruptly. We live together, I can't leave because of my financial situation. So I'm silent he's like a ghost to me.
Stay away from those toxic behaviours is the first step for healings to take place.
Sorry to hear about what you've been through. This might help you better as well slaythenarc.com/
He told me 8 months ago the relationship wasn't going to work so I walked away and went no contact. Why argue with someone who is never wrong?
He wasn't pleased at all. He slammed the door behind me.
my mother did this. She said if you don't do what I want, I'm not grandma to your kids . I didn't bother to reply and never saw her again. She did try to recontact via her new husband but it didn't work. She ranted on about how her daughter could treat her like that but in reality, she had suggested it herself, which she kept very quiet.
Sorry to hear about what you've been through. This might help you better as well slaythenarc.com/
@@RebeccaZungEsq it hurts
It’s just sad they can’t securely attach and have empathy and warmth - having to deal with them like this is like losing yourself there is no solution it’s just sad they can’t be happy
break free
The day I left after the discard, last thing I ever texted was “I’m gone.” And I never tried in any way to contact him again. Of course he erased me from his life immediately. Still Narc and Hoover free nearly 8 years.
Good job!
So he never tried to get back to you. It is different then what is presented in the video.
I'm married to a covert narcissist, for 24 years now. I'm so drained. My days are waking up go to work, I have no friends at work, eat lunch by myself in the back of my car watching Asian movies. I no longer have feelings. Just like a robot. To leave I would be living on the streets. He controls all his money, what I earn, goes to paying for my expenses, and my sons. So so much, goes on I could fill the comments box. I truly felt like and still feel crazy. My get away is sleep and movies where I can live vicariously. What life can I have at the age 61?
@@carolefujishima7069 I’m so sorry you are and have been going through this, it’s never too late to take back your life, 61 is not too old there is help and support out there and remember do not be afraid to live alone it actually saves your sanity, god bless and I hope you get away soon and get a better life ❤️
It is never too late! You can have a life of freedom!
I’m praying for you. Strength! You deserve happiness. 60 is the new 40! Save your soul. Praying for you. No one deserves to feel alone 💯♥️🙏🏼 sending a virtual hug 🤗 & love
@@carolefujishima7069 They have domestic violence shelters for women with children. I'm praying for you, I know what your going thru I walked away on Sunday after 37 yrs of marriage.
It’s only been two weeks since separating after 4 years of feeling like I couldn’t express my true feelings. He literally sucked the life out of me. Trying to find myself again. Please pray for me as this is so difficult!!
Keeping you uplifted in prayer, God will see you through this difficult time
Same here, except 4 weeks separated after 29 years of marriage. Exhausting!😮
Why didn’t I run across these videos 13 years ago…🤦🏽♀️
Try 36 years ago!!!!
The timing is perfect 👍
I pray continued freedom for you.
When I’d go silent he was all of a sudden concerned but he’d do it to me all the time. Gah. It’s exhausting.
My narcissistic wife (recently separated) has only bought me a birthday present twice in our 6 years together. Now we never did presents. It was mutual. I didn't care. But it's very telling that BOTH times she did this we were broken up. I can't tell you how disgusted and angry I felt when I got the special delivery through the post (she told me by email to expect its arrival). I immediately crossed out my address and wrote return to sender then took it to be posted. It wouldn't fit in the post box so I literally stamped it flat. No idea what was in it. And I don't care. Everything is a sick manipulation. I'm just upset with myself because she still won. She got to me. I'm going NC as fast as I can. I'd have done it earlier but the only reason I didn't is because I'm too nice to make her get deported on such short notice. But I realise now she only wanted the visa out of me to begin with lol. Narcissists are rotten to the core. Sorry not sorry.
I’d like to suggest that you don’t say “ MY NARCISSIST “
You must NOT TAKE OWNERSHIP OF HER MENTAL
MEAN MANIA!!!!!
When you have to talk about them say THE NARCISSIST !!
I do this and it helps to remove myself from him!!❤️
Very funny story. I have a narcissistic wife myself since 15 years. I even had a narcissistic mother, 3 narcissistic girl friends and a narcissistic teacher. I found out a few month ago. It took me 1 or 2 days to be completely heal from this shock. Fortunately, I did not need therapy, as I am normally successful and lucky by nature. But I do not divorce. I still learning from them navigating the issue. I can spot now narcissists like a Marihuana dog smelling Marihuana. Easy 🤭
I never got a gift from mine in 4 years! Except sex..😂😂
@@p1472 I got 2 gifts in 15 years, and never sex. This might be, why I have survived. But I gave her 1 million dollar in this 15 years. Of course I am broke now, but still happy and planning the future 🤭 Things do not always turn out the same way with narcissists. I did not know, she was a narcissist. I even thought she was my twin flame, not twin tower 😋. She played her role very good 😌
@richardlenz2655 I know exactly the feeling, I have a narcissist husband, and I am trying to learn how to handle it
It’s best not to have any social media. They will stalk from fake pages or stare at your profile pic. I’d recommend not giving them access to any parts of you. I feel better when the narc is blocked out completely.
My ex bestie is doing this now to our common group of friends. I have warned them before she even started the smear campaign and one friend of mine actually said that 'Maybe she really cares about you that's why she's asking everyone else?' and I was like NO. If my ex bestie really does care about me, she wouldn't be asking EVERYONE in our circle about me, she's acting like she cares when she tells them about me not talking to her and she's worried, blah, blah, blah so everyone would actually think that she cares for my mental health but it's actually the opposite! They're actually good at convincing people how empathetic they are to their victims! So that you'll look crazy to your support system! OMG. It's so frustrating!
Yes! The same happened to me with my ex 13 years ago. No one believed me about him because around town he was such a “friendly, helpful, great guy”. Ha! It’s no surprise he’s been through 10 “relationships” since we broke up. lol.
Sorry to hear about what you've been through. This might help you better as well slaythenarc.com/
My older brother used to be the scapegoat. He moved out for 4 years. Went no contact. Then got divorced and came back. Now I’m the scapegoat and I’ve been watching what he does. He will just walk away if narc mother starts to become too much to deal with. So she can’t use him as a narc supply. She now has latched to me and in a way I’m trapped here cause I lost my job and I’m a single mom with a 3 year old. I’m trying to figure out how to leave. Only last year I learnt about Narc abuse. And omg I finally feel validated. I have so much repressed anger because of this. I feel robbed of a loving family and robbed of a life that could have been so much healthier. So many failed relationships under my belt. I’m so ready emotionally to leave and go no contact with this family system but alas I’m just not able to financially… yet. Key word… yet.
Sorry to hear about what you've been through. This might help you better as well slaythenarc.com/
❤ Get a job, volunteer where you can take baby. Get help Title 20. What state is helping with these needs go. Start with your state and get out of the environment, don't rear your precious loved child with such foolishness.❤
I stay to myself not thinking about that crap.
I love the advice of things to say to them. It’s encouraging them to mature whether they do it or not, we can’t keep enabling them like children. The more people call them out the more they are forced to regroup and think of what else they can do to get their way. That’s the only thing that “matures” them. The tactics narcs have arrived at are because they are effective on adults. Gaslighting is confusing. Triangulation. Smear campaigns, reactive abuse…. All tried and true ways to hid a childish crying tantrum that doesn’t work anymore at their age. But if everything stopped working I wonder what would happen.
Stay strong! ❤ Join me in my free webinar - slaythenarc.com/
Broken people from broken family of origin. Look at the family. That's what your family will become. RUN
Our quiet harmonious nature is no match for the Narc. RUN
VibeTribe is crucial. Respect
Not if they are coverts! Took my 30 years to understand what he and his family was
@@Lailat854 correct. Coverts are the worst
My Lord! Thank you! How can someone hate you so bad but want to BE you? I've not heard this out loud, so yes ma'am...thank you!
In my experience, it was the posture and head hanging low like he was being cheated on! He was just saying things like “ I just got a lot on my mind“ silently placing his expectations on me acting like he is victimized!
HIM: "This is why we need to communicate.".
Me: "This is why we DON'T."
Right after my narc husband died, I met a woman that became my best friend. First year was great, she invited me out all the time, stay at her house, meet her friends/family…we were inseparable and was everything I needed at the time. As I started to get healthy, she got jealous, competitive and abusive. She’s an alcoholic that gets nasty. The last fight consisted of me having a difference of opinion (in a general subject) and she went nuts. Told me “I’ve been tired of you and your opinions for a while now”….I told her that’s great, I’ll make sure it’s not a problem anymore and left. I was concerned about retaliation so I sent a nice message next day wishing her the best. Hope to never hear from her again, but if I do, no answer is an answer!!!!
I just feel like his Mother because I am treated like his Mother. When I bring that up of course he denies it or laughs. Everything you say makes perfect sense. Over the years his actions all made sense. I had my suspicions but when our son called him a narcissist then it became more real. They suck the life out of you.
Sorry to hear about what you've been through. This might help you better as well slaythenarc.com/
That's the ticket...not getting emotional...stay calm, cool and collected...
I made alot of mistakes in my last relationship. It was so bad, I became the problem. I'm giving up and never gonna date again. I hate myself.
@@clintonnagy1662 just take accountability for your own actions and seek help or counseling for me christ is always best when dealing with life issues trust me love yourself
I just want a man that wants to settle down & not play games you would think a 46 year old man would want the same Narcissist can be any age is what im learning im 40 & just thought being with someone a little older would be better but oh was i wrong .The more you have the more they want to take take take & put you down for
Let's face it. We all suck. We all have issues. It's all in how much you can deal with....or want to deal with.
Age has nothing to do with it. An abuser is an abuser. Are you sure you really want the kind of guy who just wants to settle down and not play games? Unfortunately the ones who are healthy and won't abuse us tend to go unnoticed. If you meet that man you'll likely find him boring.
Going through this now
The older ones are the worst of the worst❤
@@clintonnagy1662 Yes but some of us suck in ways that affect us and no one else. There are those who suck who do affect others, with intent!
My recent ex (going on now 6 days) always projected & called me the narcissist. I'm pretty sure the reason I haven't heard a peep from him is because he's already on the move with a new woman. Obviously, one he already had lined up before our dramatic end...
Meanwhile - he's probably been sitting on the edge of his seat waiting to hear from me, just so he can ignore me & get satisfaction that I tried.
NOT HAPPENING. 😁
Yeah this sounds familiar. It's been almost 3 weeks now for me. I hope things are going well for you and you stay strong. I have to stay strong too, it's hard. Much love.
@@PurpleReels - Thank you! Yes, still going strong & as you can see by my first response, it's now been 4 months!! It really does get easier. Hang in there. ✌️
I was trying to understand WHY my wife wouldn't love me back. Why she would do things that were destroying us. I was desperate to understand. Now that we are divorced, I understand😊
My narc ex I put out 3 days ago. I herd nothing from him until late last night. He sent me just a middle finger emoji. I didn't respond. This morning he text my son about getting the rest of his things my son called him out saying he sent the middle finger to start stuff. The narc said I sent that because I wanted to see if I was still blocked. Then my son called him out on his smear campaign. He denied it. My son asked why he cared if he was blocked or not and the narc only responded with I'll be by to get the rest of my things thank you. And we haven't herd from him since.
Do you notice a pattern. The longer your videos are, the less views you get. Short and Sweet and to the point works for you. Keep up the good work.❤
Not falling for it,just truly aline
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I go silent to try to remember who I was. Sadly, I just realized these past many years, with NYE alone, as the final straw. Now,..its like now what? I knew it was coming or should come, but im frozen. Im able in all areas, but im really alone and honestly, nervous a lot. I know i should leave, and my bag has been packed weeks, but im still here 'alone still but'. I dont know...
Dont really have anywhere left to go to. I'm a stranger to those I used to know(family included) 🥳😖😧🤦🏻♂️🤷🏻♂️
He says he misses me and then he cheats and lies to me about everything.
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It's insanity for real.
No discipline for a narcissist they make up their own rules. Even the law is Greek to them.❤
my ex narc friend tried to get what she wanted by complaining and then bringing up a unrelated past where I had a problem with a different person, but she was putting herself in my shoes while portraying me as the problematic person... using that as some kind of comparison to trigger me but at the same time she complained that she feels like she cant really tell me anything because shes afraid Id get annoyed...
so its like, she tells me she doesn't want to trigger me but then triggers me anyway and then I'm left there trying to explain to her the situation as mature as I can but looking back at it now, damn... I see what she did there
Can’t get isolated any more than I am and I’ve seen it before.
Don’t want anybody to do what I want except be human to me.
Literally ask for the most minimal thing in the world and can’t get that so pretty much done.
Not afraid. Just confused. Literally don’t know what people are doing or why. I never have but didn’t care as long as wasn’t being attacked.
Now that’s all I get when I didn’t ever have anything against anyone.
I don’t get what negotiation process??? What are you supposed to be negotiating about???
Sometimes when I call my wife out on her narcissistic behavior she gives me this long stare and doesn't say anything. No denial, deflection, apology , just this blank stare like I just took a hit of crack and she waits for me to move my eyes, like a dominance standoff. Very bizarre. I just hold eye contact and don't back down. We're seperated, so its not so bad anymore, shes probably seeing somebody else I guess. She wanted me to get out when I started calling her out on it. I was kinda ready anyway so I said good
She doesn't like the no contact, I just say I don't have anything good to say and there's no point in hurting your feelings
Great video Rebecca thanks a lot for all of the points you covered!
Awesome information and education. Thank you so so much for helping people navigate through this hell. The legal end of escaping and trying to prove this type of abuse is absolutely excruciating…and EXACTLY why they try to drag it out as long as they can legally…to punish and torture you as long as they can…as long as you are still stuck in it…you’re unable to move forward and fully heal your self and your life, when that’s what their goal to destroy was all along. Or to force you to walk away from your rights to any thing you ever worked and paid for. Horrifyingly exploitative. It’s horrifying to experience the depths of this type of abuse….makes a regular healthy separation look unbelievably mature and adult.
Thank you for all your hard work exposing this abuse. I pray one day the courts will have the laws in place to hold these types of abusers accountable for the brain damage it causes …(cognitive dissonance, and depression) and years and years of therapy trying to understand and heal. 👏👏👏🔥💪❤️☯️🖖
My husband doesn’t care really if I don’t speak, I’ve asked him so many times to talk and stuff that I just gave up and just go about my day. I know I can’t live the rest of my life this way. We’ve been married 13 years and he’s started doing this stuff more this past year, he never bonded with the kids, never woukd really compliment me, if anything he would put me down or tease me in front of family and we haven’t had sex in a year but he says it’s cuz we don’t have privacy but I told him we could even go in the car, take a drive but he makes no effort. Even when we’re home completely alone he shows no interest
Sorry to hear about what you've been through. This might help you better as well slaythenarc.com/
I can't begin to tell you how much you are helping me to get through this time. I feel so validated as you understand and express so well pretty much exactly what I've been going through. This really strengthens my resolve to stay no contact, though it is so hard, but i need to get my life back again.
I'm living this nightmare right now with a neighbor
Me too. A real low life.
@@peterwatson8838I ve been living a hell for almost 20 years with my narcissistic neighbours at the ground floor....He s a lawsuit and nobody can imagine the hell they can do especially in this situation....very dangerous...but They both got a penal complaint and they hit back with others ....it s truly a nightmare.... I m an empath and I mna therapist and I can't take it anymore....I want to see them exactly in the same hell they brought me ....however they re not married,nor having children...how would they have one when they hate themselves ?😅
Me too , I have just realised that my husband after 20 years what he is and now things are worse than ever especially when I told him what I thought he was ! Big mistake on my part so now back to silent treatment? I’m so tired stressed he’s sucked the life out me and I feel I can’t leave I wouldn’t know how ?
@@SuperLuciaandrade going to therapy can help immensely
NOTTTTTT FALLING FOR ITTTTTT!!
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Yes the part you mention how they stare at you . I had this experience . The narcissist sat fairly far behind me while her long term mate sat in front of me in an outside setting … I turned around to see where she was bc we were having dinner and she was just sitting there straying at me .. not eating or anything . It had been years since I had seen her and that was not the issue it was and I did find I became a “easy target” she later told that .. to triangulate and get rid of her long term bf .. yeh I had no idea what I was dealing with . Thank you for your video and I intend to buy your book too . Wow ! It’s all a bad bad life if you are a narcissist
Not falling for it thank you so much it’s my first time running into this problem it’s so painful I couldn’t turn on him so I turned on my self if you know what that means but I gotta start healing from this 70 day situationship
110 % my mother. Im exhausted of her behavior. I am powerless and just giving up
A fountain of information. You are amazing.
'Not falling for it' 'Today' 'I've seen it' 'I won't take the bait' 'I know my value' 'Pivot' 'Break free' They gaslight you all the time...
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When you speak out, nark them out, or speak up for yourself, they become so angry and violent towards you.
I won’t take the bait!! It’s not my fault, I deserve better😊
"I Know My Value!", and yes... absolutely trust your gut! If you feel something is wrong in the relationship and the feeling is getting worse, something IS wrong. 100%
I did a 5 week no contact this sept. This was months b4 i even watched these videos and knew thats what it was called. All i know is that i got tired of her verbal abuse. I was happy until i broke the no contact and found out that she already had another man in her life. Breaking the no contact was the worse thing ive ever done in my life.
Sorry to hear about what you've been through. This might help you better as well slaythenarc.com/
❤Never break contact . If they do don't respond to the BS❤
I find the part where you said. Tell the narcissist. " I can see you're upset." I believe my ex is a narcissist. During conversations where I have tried to explain that he has brought up an inappropriate topic with our child. He almost always starts saying to me. " I can see that this is an emotional response". I kinda found this ironic. Because I feel like he is trying to use this tactic to get a rise out of me.
My sister put the the microwave and burner in the porch because she doesn't like the smell of some the food my daughter and I cook.
We live in a large house and so we do have space. But for financial reasons I have to stay put.I don't mind the silent treatment, it's so peaceful.😊
Sorry to hear about what you've been through. This might help you better as well slaythenarc.com/
I walked away after 27 yrs of marriage.Ghosted him, No contact and gave him a silent treatment. I started life afresh without him. He never believed that I can recover or healed or survived. Even now he is still watching me.
ATTA GIRL !!! 😎😎👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏
@@gma729 I was into depression he was still stressing me out. He make sure I don’t hv any source of income and dat gave him a total control over me. He drives joy frm my pain. I walked away as a living corpse. II walked away with nothing,
I like it when he gives me the silent treatment 😂😅
It's a reprieve from narcissistic bull💩
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Mine got mad when I didn’t cry and try to fix it I just ignored that silent treatment he stormed out of the house and came home late I still gave no response the temper tantrum was funny I told his mom he will not break me or make me cry I left instead
@@Michele-f5p Good on you for leaving. Narcissists are hopeless when they don't get treatment, and they're hopeless even when they do get treatment. Leaving is the only option.
Me too!
I put him on notice since the last phone call some 3 years ago. I told him no more conversations and will only accept text messages or emails. He twisted my words around and bullied me on the phone. So far so good. I kept silent since then except through my lawyer. It really works because, as a lawyer himself, written comments can and will be used against him.
My life has been very peaceful except for when there’s more hearings to prepare for etc etc. I don’t expect this divorce will end soon which is approaching its 4the year.
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❤Fantastic information thank you. Going no contact this second and watching at the same time. ❤
Not falling for it. Ghosted her. I never thought she could be so cruel and hearless but she had most of the behaviors you talk about. I was so lonely and she was so beautiful. I saw red flags but thought she might change. She didnt. Lesson learned. Still miss her and even gaslighting myself. Haha
Yep the same for me too cameron
I ghosted my 8 years narcissist for 3 months now and he's busy trying his way back bt am done and it's my turn for rejection I've been emotionally drained for 8 good years
Apologize? Say sorry? Only happened twice in 10 years. She tells me it’s my fault she never apologizes
I wasn’t even allowed to have an opinion
That's a sick individual every one has freedom of speech ❤
I live in the same house with my narcissist, mother, and I’m giving her the silent treatment and she doesn’t like it. She starts doing things to get my attention and get me to speak to her, once I’m out of her home she’s not getting my address, I’ll keep it from the best I can, and I might have to change my telephone number. Really don’t wanna do that because I would have to go through over 300 numbers in my phone and text everybody that I want to have my number.
Invasion of the body snatcher's is the movie.
That is a huge difference between how we and they work. They play games and have zero sincerity in their actions. When we are done...we are genuinely done.
Love all your great information! Just so you know, the phrase is not, "all THE sudden". It is "all OF A sudden". You're not the only one to make that same mistake.
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Definitely NOT falling for it. Typically acting like a savant genius (in his mind) my not responding has finally taken to saying, "I love you , I'm sorry" in a song !
This reminds me of someone 😮 thanks for the content.🙏🏻
I NEED help! I’ve was in a relationship with someone who has narcissistic personality disorder. He currently has our kids because I became homeless after getting Covid which led to pneumonia in both my lungs, and then a heart attack month and half later. I stayed silent from the abuse. I don’t think people realize how the abuse over so many years takes a toll on a person and makes them feel worthless. I’ve worked the past 16 months to get my leverage. The system where I’m at is so bad and refuses to take the time to look into a person. I’m looking for support to get me through what I need to do to get my kids.
Sorry to hear about what you've been through. This might help you better as well slaythenarc.com/
You are incredible Rebecca. Thank you.
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An acquaintance we had falsely accused my husband of stalking her. All the while she would randomly show up at our house uninvited and after we tried to cut off contact she would text and call him out of the blue. She also had mail sent to our house with her name on it. VERY strange behavior. Later she showed up to our house with a mutual friend and tried to hoover her way back in but I just can’t look over all that psycho behavior. We kept records of the texts and the mail in case she tries to come up with anymore wild stories and accusations.
Your great at this gifted. Thanks helped me alot.
Dealing with a covert/self-righteous at work. Because I have met these before, I decided to step back and let her be. herself after she deflected her rage on me following an encounter with our supervisor who was giving her a correction. [ was the bystander whom she threw mud at.] This was a few weeks ago. She would walk by my cubicle, barely grunt her good mornings, but since I'm not a mind-reader, I can't really listen. Now it's been amped up to her coming to help a colleague who sits at an angle from me. The funny thing is, I don't really care what she does since I'm moving in another direction and since our split, there have been nothing but good things happening in my life since then. In addition, even if she may try the smear campaign, I was told she comes with a reputation (that I was unaware of). We will see what happens.
If they have a fear of abandonment then why do they leave everyother week then makeup & come back ? I'm curious I don't understand why he does this
I had the same situation with a ex and family members.
Of I soon worked it out that when they stopped contact it was they're either getting their needs met in other ways, or they didn't have the need to fool me yet again by being "nice" as they didn't need my help in anyway.
The trouble I used to have in easy making excuses for them or more like accepting than truly being able to forgive in my heart their past behaviours etc., was the greater the time space distance I had, I'd think I missed their "nice" side right at the timing they'd contact out of the blue again as if nothing bad had happened.
It was just like a cycle of the same old situation for years, until enough was enough and I broke my side of the co-dependancy that I hadn't realised they'd built in my mind as if I'd have no-one in life if not them.
It did take me courage I never thought I had to "do" life without them and of course adjusting whole lifestyle and time at the void of then being literally alone.
But hey, in the fact I've part made life changes that suit me not them and am still in the process of when new other's that will enhance my life as much as I always do my best to do to and for others.... will come into my path, so to speak, it's giving plenty of "peace" time alone I'm not used to in concentrating on being good to myself.
As when I know the hard work I continue to do in change in myself re needs, reactions etc., I get even more reinforcement that I can't change a single other no matter how good or with acceptance I'd give them.
I often picture boundary lines like a elastic band, yep can be stretched to a certain point, but once snapped that elastic band can't hold anything back together again 😉
All good vibes your way, as I remember too well how confusing others mixed behaviours had my mind to try and work both them and myself out ❤
Manipulation..Confused you.
Maybe they cool themselves down narcissists also feel anger. Then they come back because they care about you too, just can't control themselves sometimes.
No contact with my abusive narcissist over 30 days and my life is SO MUCH BETTER....
Good for you !!!!!!
I know my value. I want to move forward.
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I took myself off social media beca use they had flying monkeys, people that were associated with them etc etc. It was easier just to take myself off social media. I was with this person many moons!🎉
Thank you 😢❤you are the best speaker on this topic ❤🙏
1000% Agree! Non communication is mandatory!! Break Free! 👍
I like seeing people I know though it seems to make them mad when I do so that confuses me to and seems they get triggered by that. So think that’s a tgem problem
They can inspire those feelings in you also after decades of their abuse.
Not falling for it 😊🤗💪💪💪
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Not falling fir the verbal apology I got 2days ago after 45yrs of marriage to a narcissist.
"Not Falling For It"🎉❣️