Do you want more information about how to outsmart a narcissist without getting backlash? Join me in my free webinar where I offer tips and tricks. Reserve your seat here. icanslay.com
What I most treasure in this instructor is that it is not all about romantic involvement. Its a legal matter from work stances and neighbors which is not fun. This can allow you to rise above the muck and take decisive actions daily to get out from under control freaks because they abound
Exactly, my situation is a psychotic neighbour, it’s hard to find resources if they aren’t your family or romantic partner. Honestly the neighbour is almost worse because I can’t get away from this person, I have to sell my house, move, etc etc
@jenbodhi1133 I had to be displaced over a very jelous neighbor. She was relentless and it's a total total nightmare. Having to sell too? I can only say I understand but I know that doesn't help.
@shoyrushoyru yes it does ESPECIALLY if you forgive them and give them another swipe. The levels of toxicity when I did this made the hostile competition back on but with different talons. Truly I can't believe I forgave like that but God saved my son so I have stronger faith and I wanted that very badly. Faith is what I hope to have faith in, losing faith in God is the worst.
You describe my mothers entire parenting tactic. Looking back, I am just flabbergasted. I was always reacting to her cruelty, until it came to my own kids and realized she was getting high on causing us pain. It took me way to long to come to the understanding that i was being brainwashed and victimized by my "life giver", and was playing right into her intentional crazy making game my whole life! I did leave, but I did it all the "wrong way" and gave her the pleasure of "causing drama" on my way out. I am so glad you are here putting this information out there and giving people the tools to protect themselves and move on to live their best lives! ❤
I'm so sorry to hear about the challenges you faced growing up, and the pain that you had to endure from your mother's parenting tactics. I'm glad that you found the information helpful and empowering, and I wish you all the best on your journey forward. Remember, you are not alone and there are many resources available to help you along the way. ❤
This is good advice for the fight back process . I am a big failure because I experienced the unpredictabiliy of the narcissist. Looking back I see the insanity of his behaviours - he got off scott free - I am sure he derived great satisfaction from destroying my finances. He ensured we both had to live in struggle street. He died recently, leaving me carrying debt. I hope all here do win against the narcissist. Being old & poor is harsh.. so fight for your righrs!
See! I was pursuing a career as a stenographer, worked for processors then bullshit ht the fan. Spiral spiral spiral but I learned alot, can't force me to marry a church, can't force me to cover their short comings, can't force me to commit suicide ( evidently), can't force me to stand for it, can't force me to stay in it. Good thing I document EVERYTHING
I have been my wife for 16 years , and we have been married for 4 years. I am so grateful for your videos. We have 2 kids together, and I am just now finding out that I am dealing with a covert narcissist. I never understood why she lied so much and always made up stuff. She lies about going to medical school, lies on her family, lies about her family, and is constantly telling lies about me. She always tried to degrade me to our children but lashes out because the kids never agree with her. She has physically assaulted me and threw knives at me, assaulted herself so she can tell the police I beat her up, broke my laptop, poured drinks on me . I ignored all that she did in one night, and that made her so mad. She was always drunk, left the house for almost 5 months, and said she went to rehab, came back and mad at me because I don't want to have anything to do with her. Our kids are suicidal. My son was just hospitalized due to the second panic attack since she's been back, made comments about hurting himself due to mom mental abuse and physical abuse towards him, and my daughter attempted. They are seeing a therapist.I am picking up my son from a mental behavioral hospital today after being there for over a week due to all this. Tried to get a TPO waiting on child protective services investigation. Of course, she is saying I set her up, and my son told on her. I need all the help I can get. I am in a women's state, as she tells our kids.
#6 Don't defend or engage is the single best thing I've ever done in my narcs abuse cycle. And the video for #6 is what I do in my head when I need to protect my brain from covert narcissist manipulation... 🎼🥁🎶🎵🎧🎨🖼️🎼
Yes, the narcissist still gets to my emotions. The things he did to my mom hastened her death. He had glee on his face the day he came to my door to tell me she had died. The day of her funeral, he bullied out of me an emerald and diamond ring she left me. As soon as I knew she was gone, I promised myself I would never give him the satisfaction of seeing me grieve her loss, and I have held fast to that. But the days I miss her most, I don't know how to not get angry toward him in my thoughts. When I hear songs that evoke tears, I feel emptied of the ability to go on in the fight against him. I remember that I am worth an only begotten son to my heavenly father, and that mom loved me. I try to forget the things he put her through, but they haunt me. Her determination to live, even if it only meant getting her teeth brushed in the bathroom of the looney bin wing of the nursing home where he had her imprisoned against her will when she was completely competent, but just deaf and sedated all the time at his request. And her screams as hospital nurses rammed a catheter up her while he was down in the hospital cafeteria stuffing his face. And her struggles to get herself detached from all the hospital gear those nurses had her hooked up to. Those things are hard to forget. But hardest of all is saying goodbye to the one person who had been there my whole life for me. How do you do that? Every time I drive by her house around the corner from my house, I remember her standing on her porch waving me goodbye with a huge wave over her head. She'd do it every time I backed out of her driveway, even if I had just been there the day before. And I just can't bring myself to wave goodbye back now.
@@salmoneveritt Thank you. It all hurts so deeply, but it helps to share what he put Mom and I through, to be seen for where I am, and hopefully, help someone else avoid the types of things he put Mom and I through. Many don't recognize just how treacherous narcissists can be.
You are not alone. Telling your story helps. Keep watching these videos. Really, really consider reaching out to the Better Help programs. Therapy helps. I'm getting help from a heath counselor right now after being recently widowed. Just to help me navigate this new way of being in the world. I wish you all the best in maintaining your mental health and navigating your grief journey for your mum.
@@memyself9518 The next one I'm reaching out to is an attorney. Got the appointment all set up. For me, it helps to have a mission plan. But yes, sharing stories here helps enormously. Rebecca's channel is the best for all the various aspects of NPD.
That is so terribly sad, you are allowed to be angry! Channel that powerful life protecting energy into being the best you. Dont waste any energy at all on him, disinterest hurts more than negative attention. That torturing #@$# has his own hell he lives every day, because he is too broken to ever know love. The love you and your Mum shared will be a guiding light in you, all your life. ❤❤❤
Motivation to write my book. I thought my husband was just plain ole crazy until I started dissecting the word Narcissist. You just solicited everything that he does in the video and previous videos. I am in Awwwh
Here's my working experience... Hope this helps and interested in yours as well. 1) go no contact - 2) strong boundaries 3) not caring about what they think or do 4) learning about narcissm 5) knowing it's a long game 6) keeping notes of their behavior just in case 7) concentrate on healing 8) concentrate on bettering yourself 9) when they try to hoover/trigger you= adjust your boundaries. 10) learning to accept that once you're healed that it wasn't your fault. 11) if you need to talk to the narcissist- keep it short and sweet and to point. 12) remember they're a narcissist and you should never expect anything. 13) only talk to them if it only affects the narcissist. 14) never tell a narcissist your problems with them- instead adapt by building stronger boundaries or plan a way to avoid them from making any impact on your life. 15) always remember it's not your responsibility to answer for their behavior. Hope this helps...
He hacked into my iPad and old iPhones while I was out of town! He read everything… texts, emails, notes about his behavior etc. He then filed for divorce . I’m assuming my angry notes will be used against me. However, invasion of privacy is against the law! He’s currently seeking new supply while we’re separated but living in the same house.
@@ladybeegeevee8548 It's not as easy as just letting go. While the unsuspecting have their narc sinking their teeth into their kids & their finances, it becomes much harder to get away.
Keep sharing your story. It helps others to see the kinds of things these narcs are capable of. They are nothing to take lightly. Follow Rebecca's every rule. You won't regret doing so.
In the end, the narcissist helps us establish and achieve self-mastery. One of the quotes from the Tao Te Ching is: _”What the Master learns is to UNLEARN.”_ What this means is that, somewhere along the line … probably during our childhood or adolescent years, in order to survive all-powerful, overbearing parental figures, we LEARNED to APPEASE our abuser(s). And in adulthood we heal by UNLEARNING this survival tactic. Not only is it not serving us, it is merely perpetuating the damage the first abusers inflicted.
He told his friends he got a good one this time. I didn't know what he meant until later in the relationship. I'm an empath and I refused to argue with him. It got to him so much he ended the 4 year relationship and I feel so much better now that he's out of my life.
I do do this! I finally have my narcissistic twin out of my emotional zone , gray rocking and exclusion is my best tools, she has no power over me at all. So freeing ! I am now a rock and feel like one.
Yes. My Sister. I finally understand that there is no real issue to resolve. She needs conflict and creates it no matter what I do or say. Literally, she has shamed me for doing something she asked me to do in a previous shaming, blaming teardown conflict as her need for me do to fell she was respected.😮 😂 She likes to fight.
@ 57:22 - "...so it's really, really important to do that documentation - even if it seems mundane..." The narc can target us for life depending on their proximity, access, and the discard phase (i.e. if you discarded them). Documenting everything - Journals, digital, photos, videos, witnesses - gives us solidity (and sanity) and can show narc patterns of behaviour. We just never know what they will do in the future, but we can be sure of the fact that they are always plotting, always lying, and always searching for a way to destroy everything about us.
It took 10 times going to court about alimony. Taking care of household while bread winner away. By the 10th time a judge said, enough , rediculous, all parties stay until the end of the day and have a settlement. 10 times. Documenting every time.
I can do this and I recently have 😊 The past 5 months in an on again off again relationship in retrospect was chaos for a reason. I was hot and cold as he described because secretly my intuition was guiding me to the truth. My narc was a closet meth user his behaviour was buzzard and he rationalised his behaviour to weaning off antidepressants and lack of sleep. Observe their behaviour gather facts. They don’t respect boundaries. Ultimate leverage the act of violence. He split my lip left bruises all over my body, held me against my will locked up in my own home for 48 hours. Do not wait for the right time, get out have a strategy asap. Be safe. I am now free from him, in my own power. You can get out but be smart about it.
This is the BEST heads up! I know it is important for me to feel my feelings and work them out, but the narc takes it as a weakness and sticks in a knife and turns it to satisfy their own needs and desires. If I know this ahead of time because of friendly advice, I can see how they are getting past my boundaries to take advantage of their new vantage point inside of me. Thanks, Smart One! 😎 I have to CUT access with proper protection. 🗡
The sky will be more blue and the grass more green when that narcissist is behind bars. I can only imagine what those inmates are going to do to him when he pulls his self-entitled attitudes and rages on them. They are going to put him in his place in no time flat!
i am trying for a contested divorce because of missing money, and lawyers that lied on both sides, a malpractice of a false testimony of a cop who did not appear as a witness, a bluff by her attorney , made me settle out of court and loss everything.
Trying to explain oneself or express needs to a narcissist is operating on the false premise ( the fantasy) that they actually care about you and the relationship and want it to work.
The narc wanted to confide her secret with me and promised to pay me for listening. I was reluctant because she's a liar but she's an elderly relative so I agree to listen but declined the payout. Then she said, if she can't pay me, she won't do it. And that's a relief to me not having to listen to lies and it's hard not to put my two cents into her story. YAY!!!
he doesn't do drugs or alcohol and would never hit me but is so verbally abusive and I think three flying monkeys were used to destroy my life it sounds like a crazy movie but is real thanks for all your help
35:52 is SSSSOOO ON POINT GOOD LAWD. PEOPLE ARE TO OLD TO THINK THE WORLD REVOLVES AROUND THEM. FOCUS ON YOURSELF PUT YOU FIRST, FOCUS ON YOUR GOALS, YOUR DREAMS A LIFE WITHOUT THEM. TAKE BACK YOUR LIFE, YOUR RIGHTS, YOUR FREEDOM AND YOUR OWN PERSONAL WILL TO LIVE. TAKE YOU OUT ON A DATE, CHURCH, A NICE JAZZ PLACE, GO OUT WITH YOUR FAMILY, OLD COLLEGE BUDDIES, YOUR SIBLINGS . STOP TRYING TO CHANGE THESE PEOPLE CAUSE YOU CAN'T. THEY WERE LIKE THIS WHEN YOU MEET THEM TRUST AND BELIEVE. DO FOR YOU, GO TO A MOVIE BY YOURSELF, DINNER, DANCING A GREAT COMEDY SHOW. THEY WANT YOU TO WORSHIP THEM LIKE A GOD. THEY DON'T OWN YOU YOU AND GOD OWN YOU. TAKE A COURSE FIND A COOKING CLASS, A DANCING CLASS JOIN A GOOD BOOK CLUB. STOP MAKING YOURSELF AVAILABLE FOR THEM WHEN YOU KNOW HOW STUPID THEY ACT. I'M NOT BABYSITTING ADULTS ABSOLUTELY NOT. THEY POUT LIKE TODDLER OR WORST CAN THEY GET PHYSICAL, MAKE U SUFFER FINANCIALLY, MENTALLY, SPIRITUALLY AND YOUR BODY WILL ACHE SOME SERIOUS. IF THEY CALL WAIT A FEW HOURS OR GIVE IT A FEW MAKE THEM MISS YOU FOR A CHANGE. THEY HAVE TO KNOW WHERE YOU ARE AT ALL TIMES WHILE THEY LIE AND CHEAT ETC ETC. THEY HAVE NO PROBLEM WITH EMBARRASSING THE HELL OUT OF YOU. ANIMALS IN THE ZOO HAVE BETTER BEHAVIOR THAN THIS. PLAN A CRUISE DON'T SAY ANYTHING SET DATE, SET YOUR BUDGET AND DO YOU FOR A CHANGE.❤❤❤LIFE FEELS SO MUCH BETTER WHEN PEOPLE LIKE THIS ARE OUT OF YOUR LIFE. STOP ANSWERING TO THEIR EVERY BECK AND CALL. GO TO A MUSEUM, CHURCH, A NICE TRIP JUST DRIVE LEAVE THEM ALONE LIKE THEY LEAVE YOU ALL ALONE. RESPECT IS RESPECT WE WILL MATCH ENERGIES. I WILL GET OUT OF SIGHT AND ARMS LENGTH. KEEP YOU HAPPY AN SAVE AT ALL TIMES. CHANGE YOUR NUMBER, EMAIL ADDRESS, THEY ARE SUCH A##HOLES GOOD LORD. I'D RATHER BE ALONE AND HAVE PEACE OF MIND THAN TO TRY AND HOLD ON TO SOMETHING THAT DOESN'T EXIST. GET OUT NOW DON'T WASTE ANOTHER MINUTE, ITS A BLESSING TO LEAVE AND A CURSE TO STAY. GOOD LUCK SEEK HELP OF NEEDED GET THERAPY AND LEAVE THEM WHERE THEY ARE AT
Maybe it's encouraging to others to share that I did have some wins against a previous narcissist. But back then, I knew nothing about NPD. I got the highest ever spousal support awarded in that county for a marriage of that short a duration. And after that narc published my SS number in the court file, I won my motion to get it redacted. But I lost all faith in the judicial system when the judge refused to grant me any fees or a punitive damages award for my having to bring that motion for redaction.
No. Give them (throw at them) something else that you don’t care about. Pretend that’s what you want vs what you really want. Then pretend to give that up to them in exchange for what you really want (but pretend they won)
Here is an interesting concept. It depends where one is at in the United States. Narcissists don’t thrive in the southeast. Here in Sioux City, Iowa it is every other human being. I can’t imagine California.
Just as a constructive suggestion. - Speeking from my own experience, I simply just let any narcistsic person; = Go ahead, havit your way? Make my decade? But you do things as you suggested it to me, yet don't cry to me, when your way things don't work? = I always treated such people, and it worked / works = It works for me. - As Rick Hunter said. Thank you R.Z.
'Fight back!' Feeling like you are going crazy is the worst from a narcissist. 'I can do this!' 'Yes!' 'Outsmart them!' 'Amen' 'Beat them!' 'I'm a winner!' My narcissist is a malignant narcissist.
My wifes mom is a bad narcissist. She always plays victim and makes everything about her and how it’s so bad for her. I never claim to not be what she says I am. I just send her screenshots of how nasty she is in texts and say “is it me or yourself that you’re talking about?” And she can’t handle it. Every tome she “disowns” me lmao last time she told me she was done with me and was never gonna be in me and my wife’s life anymore, so I responded with “then you dont need to be in our kids life.”. She always ends up shutting down and getting mad and saying I’m the only one to stand up to her and she doesn’t know how to handle being forced to admit she’s wrong with hard evidence against her. I was raised by narcissistic abusers. I didn’t take it from them, I’m sure as hell not taking it from Her. My wife tanks me for standing up for her and her brother and taking the heat for them. She never “wins” when she tries with me. I the thing is, I’ve never actually done anything for her to use against me, so it always ends up being the dumbest things and I can turn around and be like “you’re acting like you’re 14 right now, why are you acting like this over a cup?” I love using “you’re twice my age, stop acting like you’re half of it.” I have an uncanny ability to completely destroy these kind of people. I think they get infuriated because nothing they do has any effect on me, and I flip it back on them when they play victim after being the aggressor. It’s a game to me. I dont even take it seriously because they’re so absurd about everything. Usually with a lot of them, once they realize they wont get that rise out of me they stop altogether or walk out of my life lol. Idc anymore. They can dish it but cant take it, so when they start I’m overwhelmingly worse to them at their own game. If you’re bad to me, I’m just 100x worse. Screw em.
I've been dealing with a narcissistic neighbor/former mommy friend for almost a year now. I remain no contact and silent but she is extremely sly. She always become "friends" with people that I interact with. Her children also become friends with my child's friends too. Is that just coincident? maybe but it happens with our new friends too. It's hard to think that is coincident.
Do you want more information about how to outsmart a narcissist without getting backlash? Join me in my free webinar where I offer tips and tricks. Reserve your seat here. icanslay.com
I'll see you all there!
There's a glitch when I try to enter my phone number for texts.
I'm a winner
The narcissistic family member is driving me crazy.he is like doctor jekyll and, Mr hid
I am a winner!!!
30 plus days no contact and doing Excellent!
I am making blankets for charity .
This channel is literally saving life and lives! People in the fog of narc abuse need this so bad!
Thank you for sharing your kind words! ❤
@@RebeccaZungEsq 🤗
Me too!!!! Really helping me emotionally deal
You are Helping me to preserve my sanity❤🙏💪
Amen! I have a journal and keep a time line on a calendar to track patterns and what triggers him and his negative reactions towards me.
What I most treasure in this instructor is that it is not all about romantic involvement. Its a legal matter from work stances and neighbors which is not fun. This can allow you to rise above the muck and take decisive actions daily to get out from under control freaks because they abound
Exactly, my situation is a psychotic neighbour, it’s hard to find resources if they aren’t your family or romantic partner.
Honestly the neighbour is almost worse because I can’t get away from this person, I have to sell my house, move, etc etc
@jenbodhi1133 I had to be displaced over a very jelous neighbor. She was relentless and it's a total total nightmare. Having to sell too? I can only say I understand but I know that doesn't help.
@@PrayerPartnerExtraordinaire There's also family narcissists like one's parents. The relation changes the dynamic completely.
@shoyrushoyru yes it does ESPECIALLY if you forgive them and give them another swipe. The levels of toxicity when I did this made the hostile competition back on but with different talons. Truly I can't believe I forgave like that but God saved my son so I have stronger faith and I wanted that very badly. Faith is what I hope to have faith in, losing faith in God is the worst.
You describe my mothers entire parenting tactic. Looking back, I am just flabbergasted. I was always reacting to her cruelty, until it came to my own kids and realized she was getting high on causing us pain. It took me way to long to come to the understanding that i was being brainwashed and victimized by my "life giver", and was playing right into her intentional crazy making game my whole life! I did leave, but I did it all the "wrong way" and gave her the pleasure of "causing drama" on my way out.
I am so glad you are here putting this information out there and giving people the tools to protect themselves and move on to live their best lives! ❤
I'm so sorry to hear about the challenges you faced growing up, and the pain that you had to endure from your mother's parenting tactics. I'm glad that you found the information helpful and empowering, and I wish you all the best on your journey forward. Remember, you are not alone and there are many resources available to help you along the way. ❤
I could have written this comment 🥴
Sending virtual love your way.
we were children, dependent on them for life itself...
This is good advice for the fight back process . I am a big failure because I experienced the unpredictabiliy of the narcissist. Looking back I see the insanity of his behaviours - he got off scott free - I am sure he derived great satisfaction from destroying my finances. He ensured we both had to live in struggle street. He died recently, leaving me carrying debt. I hope all here do win against the narcissist. Being old & poor is harsh.. so fight for your righrs!
I walk around on my shift saying "I'm great or Damn good at what I do!" I have many years of great work.
See! I was pursuing a career as a stenographer, worked for processors then bullshit ht the fan. Spiral spiral spiral but I learned alot, can't force me to marry a church, can't force me to cover their short comings, can't force me to commit suicide ( evidently), can't force me to stand for it, can't force me to stay in it. Good thing I document EVERYTHING
Amen
Please trust your intuition, don’t let someone compromise your standards, boundaries. Don’t ignore the love bombing.
I have been my wife for 16 years , and we have been married for 4 years. I am so grateful for your videos. We have 2 kids together, and I am just now finding out that I am dealing with a covert narcissist. I never understood why she lied so much and always made up stuff. She lies about going to medical school, lies on her family, lies about her family, and is constantly telling lies about me. She always tried to degrade me to our children but lashes out because the kids never agree with her. She has physically assaulted me and threw knives at me, assaulted herself so she can tell the police I beat her up, broke my laptop, poured drinks on me . I ignored all that she did in one night, and that made her so mad. She was always drunk, left the house for almost 5 months, and said she went to rehab, came back and mad at me because I don't want to have anything to do with her. Our kids are suicidal. My son was just hospitalized due to the second panic attack since she's been back, made comments about hurting himself due to mom mental abuse and physical abuse towards him, and my daughter attempted. They are seeing a therapist.I am picking up my son from a mental behavioral hospital today after being there for over a week due to all this. Tried to get a TPO waiting on child protective services investigation. Of course, she is saying I set her up, and my son told on her. I need all the help I can get. I am in a women's state, as she tells our kids.
How are you doing now? Hope you're feeling well and getting your power back! 💪
This might help - slay.rebeccazung.com/
WOW,I will definitely be praying for you and the kids. My heart goes out to you guys ❤
God Bless You!!!!! Stay strong! Take care of those kids FIRST! They really need you to be consistent, in everything! Blessings & Good Luck!!!!
I CAN DO THIS! 💪
Yes! We ALL can!!!❤
You DEFINITELY can! ❤
#6 Don't defend or engage is the single best thing I've ever done in my narcs abuse cycle. And the video for #6 is what I do in my head when I need to protect my brain from covert narcissist manipulation... 🎼🥁🎶🎵🎧🎨🖼️🎼
Thanks for this comment-my Narcissist-Amnesia has gotten so bad it’s hard to remember and follow these highly effective habits.
Yes, the narcissist still gets to my emotions. The things he did to my mom hastened her death. He had glee on his face the day he came to my door to tell me she had died. The day of her funeral, he bullied out of me an emerald and diamond ring she left me. As soon as I knew she was gone, I promised myself I would never give him the satisfaction of seeing me grieve her loss, and I have held fast to that. But the days I miss her most, I don't know how to not get angry toward him in my thoughts. When I hear songs that evoke tears, I feel emptied of the ability to go on in the fight against him. I remember that I am worth an only begotten son to my heavenly father, and that mom loved me. I try to forget the things he put her through, but they haunt me. Her determination to live, even if it only meant getting her teeth brushed in the bathroom of the looney bin wing of the nursing home where he had her imprisoned against her will when she was completely competent, but just deaf and sedated all the time at his request. And her screams as hospital nurses rammed a catheter up her while he was down in the hospital cafeteria stuffing his face. And her struggles to get herself detached from all the hospital gear those nurses had her hooked up to. Those things are hard to forget. But hardest of all is saying goodbye to the one person who had been there my whole life for me. How do you do that? Every time I drive by her house around the corner from my house, I remember her standing on her porch waving me goodbye with a huge wave over her head. She'd do it every time I backed out of her driveway, even if I had just been there the day before. And I just can't bring myself to wave goodbye back now.
I am very sorry you went through this and continue to have thoughts and memories that haunt you. Wishing you peace and love.
@@salmoneveritt Thank you. It all hurts so deeply, but it helps to share what he put Mom and I through, to be seen for where I am, and hopefully, help someone else avoid the types of things he put Mom and I through. Many don't recognize just how treacherous narcissists can be.
You are not alone. Telling your story helps. Keep watching these videos. Really, really consider reaching out to the Better Help programs. Therapy helps.
I'm getting help from a heath counselor right now after being recently widowed. Just to help me navigate this new way of being in the world.
I wish you all the best in maintaining your mental health and navigating your grief journey for your mum.
@@memyself9518 The next one I'm reaching out to is an attorney. Got the appointment all set up. For me, it helps to have a mission plan. But yes, sharing stories here helps enormously. Rebecca's channel is the best for all the various aspects of NPD.
That is so terribly sad, you are allowed to be angry! Channel that powerful life protecting energy into being the best you. Dont waste any energy at all on him, disinterest hurts more than negative attention.
That torturing #@$# has his own hell he lives every day, because he is too broken to ever know love.
The love you and your Mum shared will be a guiding light in you, all your life. ❤❤❤
Motivation to write my book. I thought my husband was just plain ole crazy until I started dissecting the word Narcissist. You just solicited everything that he does in the video and previous videos. I am in Awwwh
Here's my working experience...
Hope this helps and interested in yours as well.
1) go no contact -
2) strong boundaries
3) not caring about what they think or do
4) learning about narcissm
5) knowing it's a long game
6) keeping notes of their behavior just in case
7) concentrate on healing
8) concentrate on bettering yourself
9) when they try to hoover/trigger you= adjust your boundaries.
10) learning to accept that once you're healed that it wasn't your fault.
11) if you need to talk to the narcissist- keep it short and sweet and to point.
12) remember they're a narcissist and you should never expect anything.
13) only talk to them if it only affects the narcissist.
14) never tell a narcissist your problems with them- instead adapt by building stronger boundaries or plan a way to avoid them from making any impact on your life.
15) always remember it's not your responsibility to answer for their behavior.
Hope this helps...
Yes. Excellent. If there is anything else you can think of, update your list, thank you!
Learning thru you. Tyvm. We will win together!
That is very empowering! You got this! 💪
Many blessings to you Rebecca! 🙏😇💚
He hacked into my iPad and old iPhones while I was out of town! He read everything… texts, emails, notes about his behavior etc. He then filed for divorce .
I’m assuming my angry notes will be used against me. However, invasion of privacy is against the law! He’s currently seeking new supply while we’re separated but living in the same house.
Let him gooooo! Move on and be happy! Currently waiting for my exit ticket coming soooon!
LORD LET HIM HAVE IT ALL IT'S NOT WORTH HIM HURTING YOU OVER MATERIALISTIC THINGS THAT CAN BE REPLACED BUT YOU CAN'T. MEN N MY CITY ARE NOTORIOUS FOR THINGS LIKE THIS. I FEEL FREE AS A BIRD, I WALKED AWAY FROM A RELATIONSHIP THAT WAS ALMOST 5YRS OLD. I CHOOSED ME FOR A CHANGE AND IT CHANDGED MY LIFE. I FEEL BETTER, I'M HEALTHIER MY ACTIVE ND HAVE BEEN MOVING IN A POSITIVE LIGHT EVERY SINCE. THAT PEACE YOU R SO LONGING FOR YOU WILL EVENTUALLY GET AFTER YOU GET AWAY FROM HIM. I'M SO SORRY YOU R GOING THIS. SPEAKING FROM EXPERIENCE I CAN DO BAD ALL BY MYSELF. SELF LOVE SELF CARE IS IMPORTANT. NARCISSIST ONLY CARE ABOUT THEMSELVES, THEY TREAT YOU LIKE YOU R THE PROBLEM. TRUST ME I KNOW ALL TO WELL. THE REST OF THE WORLD WOULD DOG HIM I WAS ESCAPE GOAT AND PERSONAL PUNCHING BAG AND ATM. I PUT A STOP TO ALL THAT. WE WEREN'T MARRIED BUT WE WERE ENGAGED FOR 3 IN A HALF YEARS. I'M DONE I LEARNED TO LOVE HIM AT A DISTANCE. I RARELY ANSWER CALLS AND I MAKE MYSELF UNAVAILABLE 95% OF TIME. HE APOLOGIZED 7 MONTHS LATER THIS YEAR BUT I WILL EXCEPT THAT BEHAVIOR FROM HIM OR ANYONE ELSE. I KNOW THE SIGHTS NOW I CUT PEOPLE OFF IMMEDIATELY I MAKE 0 TIME FOR THEIR BULL. BE SAFE GOD BLESS AND I PRAY YOU LEAVE WHILE YOU HAVE THE CHANCE. HE WILL CONTINUE TO MAKE YOUR LIFE A LIVING HELL IF U CONTINUE TO STAY. HE'S ALWAYS RIGHT, YOUR ALWAYS WRONG, EVERYTHING IS YOUR FAULT. HE IS NICE TO COMPLETE TOTAL STRANGERS ESPECIALLY OTHER WOMEN AND FLIRT AND ACT LIKE YOU ARE NOT EVEN THERE RIGHT IN HIS FACE. THE LOVE IS GONE COUNT IT AS A BLESSING NOT A CURSE. I HAD WISHFUL THINKING WHILE HE WAS BUSY DATING ANOTHER WOMAN AND MOVED HER INTO HIS HOME. I KNEW SOMETHING WAS UP WHEN I HAVE BEEN COMING IN HOUSE FOR 4YRS NOW OUT OF THE CLEAR BLUE I CAN'T EVEN GO IN TO GET A DRINK OF WATER, GET SOME COOL AIR WHILE COOKING OUTSIDE IN 100© DEGREE HEAT. HE WAS USING ME TO TAKE CARE OF OTHER WOMEN, HABITS AND A LIFE STYLE HE HAD BUT WE COULD NEVER GO ON DATES. HIS PARENTS INVITED ME FOR THE HOLIDAYS THANKSGIVING AND CHRISTMAS. WE WENT TO THE STORE AND I BOUGHT HIS DAD A DALLAS COWBOY JERSEY. HE TOOK ME BACK HOME LIED ABOUT WHY COULDN'T MAKE IT TO DINNER TOTAL BULLISH. I'M DONE THEY HAVE FALLN FROM GRACE THEY GOT CHEATED ON AND DOGGED OUT BY THE SAME CHICK HE CHEATED WITH...HUM KARMA IS REAL BIT ISN'T SHE. WE SPEAK BUT NOTHING SERIOUS, WE ARE BETTER AT BEING FRIENDS ESPECIALLY SINCE THATS HOW WE STARTED BY I NEVER STICK AROUND FOR THE DUMB REPETITIVE, EXACT SAME LYING CONDESCENDING WAYS. I'M LIKE THEY CONFESSED THAT THE GRASS WAS NOT GREENER ON THE OTHER SIDE. HE WAS A SIDE PIECE ONCE SHE GOT HIM FULL TIKE SHE DIDN'T EVEN WANT HIM. I'M LIKE OKAY YOU GOT WHAT YOU ISSUED OUT TO ME MEAN WHAT THE HELL WAS HE THINKING🤔 THE GOD I SERVE SITS HIGH AND LOOKS LOW. HE SEES IT ALL AND NOW I AM STRONG ENOUGH TO SAY NO AND CALL THE SHOTS. WHEN I WANT TO BE BOTHERED WITH THEN WE SPEAK IF I HEAR ANYTHING REMOTELY CLOSE TO THE PAST OUT LIKE A LIGHT IT'S OVER ITS A DONE DEAL. JE ALSO FLIRTED WITH WOMEN I KNEW: COWORKERS , HE FLIRTED WITH NEIGHBORS, JE FLIRTED WITH MY AUNT HE ACTUALLY ASKED ME FOR HER NUMBER AND SAID SHE CAN COME TO MY HOUSE WITHOUT YOU WHY SHE GOTTA BRING YOU EVERYTIME SHE COMES. TRUST AND BELIEVE I'M NOT GONNA FALL FOR CRAP. WE NEVER HANG OUT, WE NEVER WENT OUT ON DATS HE ALWAYS HAD AN EXCUSE BUT MADE TIME FOR HIS BOYS AND GO OUT TO EAT WITH HIS "FEMALE FRIENDS". HE'S AN ONLY CHILD EVERYBODY WAS HIS COUSIN AND MY SIS TOTAL BULLSHISH. HE CAN DO WHATEVER HE WANTS HE BEEN DOING WHY STOP NOW. I CAN'T GET IN MY FEELINGS AMD LET HIM BE AROUND ME LONG ENOUGH TO GET IN MY HEAD. I'M DONE NO MORE FROM HIM OR ANYONE WHO ACTS IN THAT MANNER. I'LL PRAY FOR YOU NICE LADY I PRAY IT ALL WILL BE OVER SOON GOOD LUCK AND GOD SPEED. YOU R NOT ALONE I MISS HIM YES BUT ENOUGH TO BE A FOOL FOR HIM AGAIN DEAR.
@@ladybeegeevee8548 It's not as easy as just letting go. While the unsuspecting have their narc sinking their teeth into their kids & their finances, it becomes much harder to get away.
Keep sharing your story. It helps others to see the kinds of things these narcs are capable of. They are nothing to take lightly. Follow Rebecca's every rule. You won't regret doing so.
How are you doing now? Hope you're feeling well and getting your power back! 💪
This might help - slay.rebeccazung.com/
Fight back!
You got this! 💪
In the end, the narcissist helps us establish and achieve self-mastery. One of the quotes from the Tao Te Ching is: _”What the Master learns is to UNLEARN.”_
What this means is that, somewhere along the line … probably during our childhood or adolescent years, in order to survive all-powerful, overbearing parental figures, we LEARNED to APPEASE our abuser(s). And in adulthood we heal by UNLEARNING this survival tactic. Not only is it not serving us, it is merely perpetuating the damage the first abusers inflicted.
Definitely
Yes mam. I'll stop sending you all these long texts. You and your audience get the point. Yours truly, the underdog.
Break contact! That's how you win!
He told his friends he got a good one this time. I didn't know what he meant until later in the relationship. I'm an empath and I refused to argue with him. It got to him so much he ended the 4 year relationship and I feel so much better now that he's out of my life.
Trying to fight back.
No, fight forward
You got this! 💪
I tell my husband….this is boring 🥱
No fighting.
Fight back!!!!!
YES! Do you have a good support system in place?
@@RebeccaZungEsq YOU! I wish I had a coach close to me. He’s an evil genius and out to win at any cost.
Your not horrible mother you are a good mother.
Thanks for sharing
I'm glad to be helping! What is one point that you'll start using today?
I do do this! I finally have my narcissistic twin out of my emotional zone , gray rocking and exclusion is my best tools, she has no power over me at all. So freeing ! I am now a rock and feel like one.
Fight back! I can do this!
TOTALLY!!
Yes. My Sister. I finally understand that there is no real issue to resolve. She needs conflict and creates it no matter what I do or say.
Literally, she has shamed me for doing something she asked me to do in a previous shaming, blaming teardown conflict as her need for me do to fell she was respected.😮 😂
She likes to fight.
I always told him everyone was entitled to their own opinion and I walked away
Brillant
@ 57:22 - "...so it's really, really important to do that documentation - even if it seems mundane..."
The narc can target us for life depending on their proximity, access, and the discard phase (i.e. if you discarded them). Documenting everything - Journals, digital, photos, videos, witnesses - gives us solidity (and sanity) and can show narc patterns of behaviour. We just never know what they will do in the future, but we can be sure of the fact that they are always plotting, always lying, and always searching for a way to destroy everything about us.
It took 10 times going to court about alimony. Taking care of household while bread winner away. By the 10th time a judge said, enough , rediculous, all parties stay until the end of the day and have a settlement. 10 times. Documenting every time.
💥Amazing! Yes, the universe made me watch this video somehow. I didn't know what I was dealing with narcissists. And I am the winner!
Outsmart them,Rebecca you are the best.
thank you for all your information so powerful
I can do this and I recently have 😊 The past 5 months in an on again off again relationship in retrospect was chaos for a reason. I was hot and cold as he described because secretly my intuition was guiding me to the truth. My narc was a closet meth user his behaviour was buzzard and he rationalised his behaviour to weaning off antidepressants and lack of sleep. Observe their behaviour gather facts. They don’t respect boundaries. Ultimate leverage the act of violence. He split my lip left bruises all over my body, held me against my will locked up in my own home for 48 hours. Do not wait for the right time, get out have a strategy asap. Be safe.
I am now free from him, in my own power. You can get out but be smart about it.
How are you doing now? Hope you're feeling well and getting your power back! 💪
This might help - slay.rebeccazung.com/
Yes information they can and Will be used against you. Love having no contact!
Fight back
Do you have a good support system in place?
It's all good , the steps i've taken exposed it.
🔵 Archangel Michael just showed up @ 2024-01-21, 12 noon MST and said: “Keep listening to this, it’s brilliant!” 😀😇👍👍💕
I like no.1 the best
Stand like a tall tree is another I like
👌🏻
Best advices ever ❤
The only time you explain is when held in contempt. And even then only with evidence. Good advice overall.
Block them preserve your thoughts
You got this! ❤ Join me in my free webinar - www.rebeccazung.com/cert-workshop
I know I can do hard things! Because I have already!! Healed of stage IV cancer 13 years ago !
🗣Fight Back!!! I gotta go to court with the Narc
FIGHTING BACK! MY BOSS
15:15 probably thinks now it's "getting real".
Instead of agreeing with them, can you simply say “ok”? Like you just don’t care what they have to say?
Fight back! I can do this!💪
You got this! ❤ Join me in my free webinar - www.rebeccazung.com/cert-workshop
I can do this!! I will never give up!
I AM A WINNER! ❤❤❤
You got this! ❤ Join me in my free webinar - www.rebeccazung.com/cert-workshop
FIGHT BACK
You got this! ❤ Join me in my free webinar - www.rebeccazung.com/cert-workshop
Fighting Back!
This is the BEST heads up! I know it is important for me to feel my feelings and work them out, but the narc takes it as a weakness and sticks in a knife and turns it to satisfy their own needs and desires. If I know this ahead of time because of friendly advice, I can see how they are getting past my boundaries to take advantage of their new vantage point inside of me. Thanks, Smart One! 😎 I have to CUT access with proper protection. 🗡
Fighting back hard
Stay strong! ❤ Join me in my free webinar - www.rebeccazung.com/cert-workshop
I'm a winner ended 😁!... Thank you Rebecca!!?
Fight back!
Great video!
Thank you for all this information.
Thank you! What part did you like the most?
Fight back!
GOD bless you sister crying 😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢
The sky will be more blue and the grass more green when that narcissist is behind bars. I can only imagine what those inmates are going to do to him when he pulls his self-entitled attitudes and rages on them. They are going to put him in his place in no time flat!
How are you doing now? Hope you're feeling well and getting your power back! 💪
This might help - slay.rebeccazung.com/
Omg the book behind you started moving the white one third shelf
i am trying for a contested divorce because of missing money, and lawyers that lied on both sides, a malpractice of a false testimony of a cop who did not appear as a witness, a bluff by her attorney , made me settle out of court and loss everything.
Trying to explain oneself or express needs to a narcissist is operating on the false premise ( the fantasy) that they actually care about you and the relationship and want it to work.
I cant thank you enough for opening my eyes!
Check this out - www.rebeccazung.com/cert-workshop Keep slaying!
I have already started the process.
They just have to serve
How are you doing now? Hope you're feeling well and getting your power back! 💪
This might help - slay.rebeccazung.com/
Awesome video!!!
I really like you.. this is so great advice!
Stay strong! ❤ Join me in my free webinar - www.rebeccazung.com/cert-workshop
Nothing you can do will ever appease a narcissist. I just quit engaging and trying a long time ago.
The narc wanted to confide her secret with me and promised to pay me for listening. I was reluctant because she's a liar but she's an elderly relative so I agree to listen but declined the payout. Then she said, if she can't pay me, she won't do it. And that's a relief to me not having to listen to lies and it's hard not to put my two cents into her story. YAY!!!
I’m researching this for my sis and friend
You are Great
Proud of you! You got this ❤
Fight back every time!!!!
I GOT THIS! Thanks to Rebecca❤
You got this! ❤ Join me in my free webinar - www.rebeccazung.com/cert-workshop
he doesn't do drugs or alcohol and would never hit me but is so verbally abusive and I think three flying monkeys were used to destroy my life it sounds like a crazy movie but is real thanks for all your help
35:52 is SSSSOOO ON POINT GOOD LAWD. PEOPLE ARE TO OLD TO THINK THE WORLD REVOLVES AROUND THEM. FOCUS ON YOURSELF PUT YOU FIRST, FOCUS ON YOUR GOALS, YOUR DREAMS A LIFE WITHOUT THEM. TAKE BACK YOUR LIFE, YOUR RIGHTS, YOUR FREEDOM AND YOUR OWN PERSONAL WILL TO LIVE. TAKE YOU OUT ON A DATE, CHURCH, A NICE JAZZ PLACE, GO OUT WITH YOUR FAMILY, OLD COLLEGE BUDDIES, YOUR SIBLINGS . STOP TRYING TO CHANGE THESE PEOPLE CAUSE YOU CAN'T. THEY WERE LIKE THIS WHEN YOU MEET THEM TRUST AND BELIEVE. DO FOR YOU, GO TO A MOVIE BY YOURSELF, DINNER, DANCING A GREAT COMEDY SHOW. THEY WANT YOU TO WORSHIP THEM LIKE A GOD. THEY DON'T OWN YOU YOU AND GOD OWN YOU. TAKE A COURSE FIND A COOKING CLASS, A DANCING CLASS JOIN A GOOD BOOK CLUB. STOP MAKING YOURSELF AVAILABLE FOR THEM WHEN YOU KNOW HOW STUPID THEY ACT. I'M NOT BABYSITTING ADULTS ABSOLUTELY NOT. THEY POUT LIKE TODDLER OR WORST CAN THEY GET PHYSICAL, MAKE U SUFFER FINANCIALLY, MENTALLY, SPIRITUALLY AND YOUR BODY WILL ACHE SOME SERIOUS. IF THEY CALL WAIT A FEW HOURS OR GIVE IT A FEW MAKE THEM MISS YOU FOR A CHANGE. THEY HAVE TO KNOW WHERE YOU ARE AT ALL TIMES WHILE THEY LIE AND CHEAT ETC ETC. THEY HAVE NO PROBLEM WITH EMBARRASSING THE HELL OUT OF YOU. ANIMALS IN THE ZOO HAVE BETTER BEHAVIOR THAN THIS. PLAN A CRUISE DON'T SAY ANYTHING SET DATE, SET YOUR BUDGET AND DO YOU FOR A CHANGE.❤❤❤LIFE FEELS SO MUCH BETTER WHEN PEOPLE LIKE THIS ARE OUT OF YOUR LIFE. STOP ANSWERING TO THEIR EVERY BECK AND CALL. GO TO A MUSEUM, CHURCH, A NICE TRIP JUST DRIVE LEAVE THEM ALONE LIKE THEY LEAVE YOU ALL ALONE. RESPECT IS RESPECT WE WILL MATCH ENERGIES. I WILL GET OUT OF SIGHT AND ARMS LENGTH. KEEP YOU HAPPY AN SAVE AT ALL TIMES. CHANGE YOUR NUMBER, EMAIL ADDRESS, THEY ARE SUCH A##HOLES GOOD LORD. I'D RATHER BE ALONE AND HAVE PEACE OF MIND THAN TO TRY AND HOLD ON TO SOMETHING THAT DOESN'T EXIST. GET OUT NOW DON'T WASTE ANOTHER MINUTE, ITS A BLESSING TO LEAVE AND A CURSE TO STAY. GOOD LUCK SEEK HELP OF NEEDED GET THERAPY AND LEAVE THEM WHERE THEY ARE AT
Very well said!!!❤❤❤❤
Maybe it's encouraging to others to share that I did have some wins against a previous narcissist. But back then, I knew nothing about NPD. I got the highest ever spousal support awarded in that county for a marriage of that short a duration. And after that narc published my SS number in the court file, I won my motion to get it redacted. But I lost all faith in the judicial system when the judge refused to grant me any fees or a punitive damages award for my having to bring that motion for redaction.
How are you doing now? Hope you're feeling well and getting your power back! 💪
This might help - slay.rebeccazung.com/
Can you explain some of these, such as what a "decoy" means to "throw out"?
No. Give them (throw at them) something else that you don’t care about. Pretend that’s what you want vs what you really want. Then pretend to give that up to them in exchange for what you really want (but pretend they won)
I told my husband. Own your 💩
That would Gaslight you and then whip it around and say you're right and all those different stuff what a crazy making situation that was
Boy! you sure get it.
I’m a winner! I can do hard things 😊
You got this! ❤ Join me in my free webinar - www.rebeccazung.com/cert-workshop
In the UK surprises aren't allowed in court, evidence you intend to use has to be shown to everyone and the court before the Hearing.
My daily dose of cuteness!
Here is an interesting concept. It depends where one is at in the United States. Narcissists don’t thrive in the southeast. Here in Sioux City, Iowa it is every other human being. I can’t imagine California.
Just as a constructive suggestion. - Speeking from my own experience, I simply just let any narcistsic person; = Go ahead, havit your way? Make my decade? But you do things as you suggested it to me, yet don't cry to me, when your way things don't work? = I always treated such people, and it worked / works = It works for me. - As Rick Hunter said. Thank you R.Z.
'Fight back!' Feeling like you are going crazy is the worst from a narcissist. 'I can do this!' 'Yes!' 'Outsmart them!' 'Amen' 'Beat them!' 'I'm a winner!' My narcissist is a malignant narcissist.
My wifes mom is a bad narcissist. She always plays victim and makes everything about her and how it’s so bad for her. I never claim to not be what she says I am. I just send her screenshots of how nasty she is in texts and say “is it me or yourself that you’re talking about?” And she can’t handle it. Every tome she “disowns” me lmao last time she told me she was done with me and was never gonna be in me and my wife’s life anymore, so I responded with “then you dont need to be in our kids life.”. She always ends up shutting down and getting mad and saying I’m the only one to stand up to her and she doesn’t know how to handle being forced to admit she’s wrong with hard evidence against her. I was raised by narcissistic abusers. I didn’t take it from them, I’m sure as hell not taking it from
Her. My wife tanks me for standing up for her and her brother and taking the heat for them. She never “wins” when she tries with me. I the thing is, I’ve never actually done anything for her to use against me, so it always ends up being the dumbest things and I can turn around and be like “you’re acting like you’re 14 right now, why are you acting like this over a cup?” I love using “you’re twice my age, stop acting like you’re half of it.” I have an uncanny ability to completely destroy these kind of people. I think they get infuriated because nothing they do has any effect on me, and I flip it back on them when they play victim after being the aggressor. It’s a game to me. I dont even take it seriously because they’re so absurd about everything. Usually with a lot of them, once they realize they wont get that rise out of me they stop altogether or walk out of my life lol. Idc anymore. They can dish it but cant take it, so when they start I’m overwhelmingly worse to them at their own game. If you’re bad to me, I’m just 100x worse. Screw em.
I❤this Video, thanks ms Zung
Do you have a good support system in place?
@@RebeccaZungEsq thanks yes iam healing well
@@YouknowWhy87 That's good to hear. Stay strong over there! 💪
I bet! Throwing out a “decoy” is a perfect healthier thing to do to just get out of the way. 😉
Fight back!!
I can do this
TOTALLY!
I CAN do this!!
Thank you!
I am a winner!!!
I am a winner !
Fight back
You got this! ❤ Join me in my free webinar - www.rebeccazung.com/cert-workshop
Outsmart them!
I've been dealing with a narcissistic neighbor/former mommy friend for almost a year now. I remain no contact and silent but she is extremely sly. She always become "friends" with people that I interact with. Her children also become friends with my child's friends too. Is that just coincident? maybe but it happens with our new friends too. It's hard to think that is coincident.
How are you doing now? Hope you're feeling well and getting your power back! 💪
This might help - slay.rebeccazung.com/