What A Narcissist HOPES When You Go No Contact
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 31 ก.ค. 2024
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Have you ever wished that you could go back in time and recognize the red flags for what they were? In this video, we cover 7 clues to spot a covert narcissist in conversation, so you'll be sure to pick up on them before things get too far!
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*In this video, I share the tips, techniques and insights that have worked for me in my own journey of healing after narcissistic abuse along with expert tips and tools I've learned through years of coaching narcissistic abuse survivors. I am not a therapist and this video is not meant to provide therapy of any form. #narcissist #covertnarcissist
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STONE AGE II, great movie. I saw it, took 23 years.
God bless you. Congratulations.
I'm try to a divorce and the agreement keeps changing. Any advise will help.
My divorce from a covert narcissist of 31 yrs is final TODAY 🎉
Congratulations 🎊🎉🎈
@@Lady420Ganja , thank you ! Woohoo 🥳
Go out and celebrate 🍾. Buy yourself something nice, do something only you wanted to do. ❤❤❤
Congratulations! That is a very big deal.
🎉✨💃🏿🔥🌈💫🎆🌅
When u leave, NEVER GO BACK. They don't change. Its a personality disorder, there is no cure for their behaviour.
Finally realizing this
Yeah us humans with personality disorders deserve no empathy and there’s definitely no cure or help for us. Really?? You’re the same type to believe cancer has no cure. If a narcissist wants to change they can. You should’ve just said they should learn self love and leave relationships of abuse no matter if they have a personality disorder or not. But to say a narcissist or anyone cannot be helped and there’s no cure is ignorance. I’m histrionic that doesn’t mean I don’t deserve relationships or friendships. People need to be more sympathetic because personality disorders are a MENTAL ILLNESS. We don’t think and perceive things the way everyone else does. I wouldn’t recommend being in a relationship with a narcissist unless they are willing to get therapy. There’s self aware narcissists on TH-cam explaining that relationships with narcissists can work. But don’t tell people they can’t be cured. We all deserve love. Some of us are just broken. Thankfully you’re not the judge of humanity but God who is merciful and understands is
Not trying to give anyone hope but I was diagnosed with BPD and psychedelics really helped change me
BLOCKED, BLOCKED, BLOCKED, leave me ALONE‼️
Yep
People, that is why you should NOT be looking at their social media accounts or being interested in anything that they’re doing!
Yes.
Didn't, since we split up!
But she does!
And some narcs know how to see who's been visiting their social media page.
If you go no contact and they somehow manage to contact you and the hairs stand on your neck and your stress levels go through the roof you know you've made the right decision.
Going back will be detrimental to your mental health and wellbeing
I know what you said is true. I saw my person after no contact for 1 year. Our children are friends, so I felt conflicted about no contact for the children's sake. Also conflicted about our friendship all over again. It's not romantic. It was a friendship.
I ran into my ex and when he started talking, I just walked away while he was talking. Felt soooo good.
😂😂
😂💀😈 love it
I did the same thing to my narc, it KILLS them.
Thanks I was looking for a strategy in case I meet my ex. Thats just perfect!
Hahaha something I would love to do one day
No contact means NO contact. Block them everywhere and never look back.
Yea blocking ur mother type hard lol 😂 but I’m no contact currently and every time she call I pretend I’m busy
“ hey ur uncle came around left your tools here ,”
Me: ok mom but I gotta get back to work talk to u later “
Then months pass.. but it’s funny when u stop talking to them they throw a fit of trying to get ur responses😂
I’m working on it!
Sometimes it can’t be done just like that. Sometimes you have to co-parent with a narcissistic ex, the narcissist you are trying to avoid is your neighbour or being 100% no contact with a parent means you can’t go to your nephew’s birthday. I’m in very low contact with my mother. Meaning, we do not talk, but still see at birthdays sometimes. I would not want to miss these events, even though it’s sometimes rather awkward. Fortunately she’s too embarrassed to do her tricks in public and stays away from me. I’d prefer not to see her at all, but it would mean missing out a lot.
When you go no contact, you have to be prepared to leave EVERYTHING behind in pursuit of your peace. When a person leaves a burning building, to preserve their life they walk away from everything. Leaving a narcissistic relationship and going no contact is no different. You don't need to return to the burning building to find closure. The reason they did all those things is because they are sick so THAT'S your closure no explanation needed.
Escaping a burning building is one of the best analogies I’ve ever heard about escaping narcissists. Thank you.
I think of it as escaping from behind enemy lines. Like escaping the Nazis Death Camps.
This perfect way to explain. Thank you.
The longer you stay silent will drive them bonkers 💯 hold your ground and simply ignore them
If they spent this much effort into being decent they wouldn't have problems to begin with
The only peace of mind they want to give you is a piece of their mind.
well constructed video. My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her
its difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but i couldnt just let her go i did all i could to get her back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring her back
Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do i reach her?
Her name is Shelly renee white , and she is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online. impressive
U got a number for spritual counselor
“They’re not tugging at your heart strings, they’re tying you up with them”.
Love it! 🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾
I don't truly believe it's your empathy or guilt that makes you cave you do it because they've become trauma bonded to you and you cave because they are like an addition
I think both may be true at the same time. The trauma bond is why these tactics work so well 🙏❤️
@@CommonEgoyes. You become trauma bonded it’s all correlated. You are 100 percent correct ✅.
*you are trauma bonded to them
@@reneegardner2286 100% agree.
It is like drugs.
But it is up to us to say NO
GOD will heal us.
Leave them alone.
When I went no contact with my mother, guilt aspect was the hardest for me. But I got over it by reminding myself that:
1. If it was some other type relationship, I would not feel guilty at all.
2. She has 3 more kids she can betray and use as a supply.
3. I can at any time reconcile and she’d gladly give me my role of the scapecoat back.
“…closure is as rare as a unicorn” 😂😂😂😂😂 ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️
Knowing that he has narcissistic personality disorder WAS my closure.
My narc left me, 11 years of marriage, and broke up our family of 4, because she felt like it. It’s shocking. No cheating. No domestic violence. Just constant bickering and an inability to be happy, even though we were doing really well. She knew I knew the mask has slipped, she knew I wasn’t as materialistic, and she knew I knew exactly who she really was - so I got discarded.
Yeah nah, they weird. Why would they think that someone they’ve hurt and disrespected repeatedly - will come back. Delusional. Just stay no contact.
Mine left me without a job and was downright cruel about it. He's been hoovering and saying "we need to fix things". Fix what things? My closure came from his disrespect. I been done-done and never again.
Because it works. Many come back
Because people do it all the time. That's why.
It’s so hard to stay away. Your brain pathways can become rewired around their treatment, so being suddenly without them (even if they were horrible to you) can be similar to extreme drug withdrawal. It takes immense willpower to stay away, and millions of people have fallen into the cycle.
@@Nat-oj2uc Only if they meet your requirements, though. Or, if you have thought of them as unsuitable for a romantic relationship, and they are, maybe they will be honest with themselves and you and stay as your beloved friend. If they have already been that for years and you like having them around, honesty is critical. There are different kinds of love.
11:59 When the narcissist calls you a “narcissist.”🙄
Yup
Yup. He reached out to tell me he was moving into the same apartment as me. He knew it would trigger me. Then when I took the bait and responded negatively, he called me a narcissist for trying to control where he lives.
Mine lied and lied and lied and told huge grandiose lies and tiny covert lies and all kinds of lies in between.
Then called me a liar when I left him. What I was lying about, he couldn’t say. Weird.
Boy oh boy did I hear that a lot from my ex narc. It’s crazy cause they actually believe it to.
My sister did that... and finally took my daughter away from me through a mixture of projection and taking advantage of teen girl middle child syndrome my daughter was/is going through. Never felt so betrayed and heartbroken in my entire life... it's only going to be two weeks, and all I can do is pray that my daughter will snap out of the trance and manipulation she's under.
Moved 2400 miles away 3 years no contact still getting flying monkeys sometimes
12 years here. His ex gf kept messaging me on FB. Apparently I’m crazy for not hanging out anymore. Yawn.
Cat and mouse analogy applies perfectly.
2:23 This explains a lot. A very close “friend” lied about me to people and even tried to turn my fiancé against me. And then apologized after she got caught, and faked remorse, but at the same time told me that I “have a habit of being inconsiderate and doing things without thinking about how my actions affect other people.” She also asked me if we could still hangout, but I never did again. Then I noticed some of her friends who used to love me started acting weird and like they were trying to avoid me. I’m about 100% sure I know why that is.🙄
I once had a narcissistic coworker who admittedly "threw me under the bus" with our supervisors. Fortunately the supervisors , were smarter. I was not discharged. When I left for another position months later. The narcisstic co-worker asked for my personal phone # so we could " keep in touch". I responded "sorry but I don't need to keep in touch with a back stabbing sack full of dogshit, buhbye !!"
Try having a family full of them
How about a world full of them
It's so difficult when it's ur family members.
yes... same here, and the nice people aer totally 'in their spiderweb', i had to let them go bc i'm really so sick, always drained drained, best of luck to you, from Belgium
How about a narcissistic DIL (who lives, with your son, 5000 milesfrom you) who had a little boy with your son, and has gaslit your son to the point where he won't give you their new home address...even though all you want to do is send birthday cards to the grandchild.
@@karenmcgady7637 u are the one that's the narc. Ur bothering them. Leave them alone.
Ur an estranged parent who can't leave their child alone
“The trouble with small furry animals in a corner is that, just occasionally, one of them's a mongoose.”
-Terry Pratchett
The narcissist thinks you’re a mouse, but you’re a fierce and cunning mongoose. Zig when they think you’ll zag. Walk tall on your own. Leave the cobra alone with its venom.
"Go ahead. Underestimate me.
It will be fun... I promise."
Yes this! Mine liked to "make jokes" about finding his own place and moving out. Constant low threat of leaving. I was supposed to convince him to stay each time. One day, I responded with, "Maybe you should. It would solve many problems." Just wow at the rejection switch that flipped! 3 months later, he has his own place and I am no contact.
@@nwhpdawns2239 good for you!!!
@@nwhpdawns2239 ...and now, every time he acts shirty, you can ask him "how's that moving out thing coming along? You never finish what you start...you started talking about moving out in June of 2024."
@lindac6919 Oh, he has moved out. I packed him up myself while he was out and left it outside.
I saw so many red flags with the last relationship I knew what the pattern was. I went along with it but I knew what was coming. I told her from the start you got one chance at this. Sure enough 3 months later the mask starts to slip and she said she's been talking to her ex boyfriend, I immediately told her we're done and went no contact. She tried every trick in the book but I maintained my boundaries. Blocked every possible way she could contact me. This is after 3 previous relationships with toxic women.
First it’s lovebombing then drama and betrayal. Finally devalues you. Hope you find better people.
Just went no contact a week ago. Thank you for making this video when you did.
Stay focused. Don’t go back. What helped me was God. Fasting, praying and reading the word of God. ♥️
Dude so this happened to be too…its a blessing trust. When the universe has given you so many reasons and opportunities to end this shituation and you dont…it pushes you into the lake with no life jacket and does it for you. Take it as a gift.
Grieve in silence, you may unexpectedly be overcome by emotions. You can get through it. The drama free peace of mind will come in waves, it feels like true freedom. Stay the course. It's been over a month for me. I am over the grieving process.
I went no contact 2moths ago he turned up at a church gathering I just left. It was hard but God help me keep my mouth shut and walk away. It’s hard but one day at a time with the Lord in control
I blocked the narcissist’s smartphone number (they can’t call, text or voicemail me) , email address and Facebook page back in April 2024
Life has been peaceful since !
I made the mistake of forgetting to block on WhatsApp and she spent me a Happy New Year message on there 😅 so random
You are lucky it didn't put you on porn and spam lists on your email addresses that you have had forever
Good job! I’ve done the same thing with my parents, brother, and an uncle.
Lots of people expressed their 'concern' about me after chatting to the narc in my life. Others were downright scared to approach me. I still wonder what they thought I'd do to them 🤷🏼♀️ as I had never shown a violent or abusive behaviour in the past 😄 Now I laugh about it, because I'm free from this creep and I have healed enough to recognise what was actually happening
Mine is calling me a Radical. 😂😂😂 I can only imagine the terrible things he will say to anyone that will listen.
After a year and several months of no contact, my narcissistic mother, tugged at my empathetic heartstrings by informing me she needed stints due to arterial blockages. Unbeknownst to me, this was merely a ploy to draw me back in. There was no closure on anything; she seemed even meaner, more spiteful, and manipulative than ever.
During her surgery, I visited her in her room as she recovered. At one point, she went to the bathroom and did something to one of the openings on her neck, causing a massive amount of blood to spill. I am convinced she did this to create a disturbing situation with the nurses and possibly accuse me of causing her distress. When she began her manipulative games again, I told her outright that if this behavior continued, I would leave. It's mind-blowing that she would go to such lengths.
We had family visiting during this time, and she informed them about her stents, arranging for them to pick her up and drop her off, despite my offer to help. This created another uncomfortable situation. When I eventually took her home, we had to stop to get a cat from a friend. Just days after having stints put in and spending three days in the hospital, she asked for a cigarette, knowing I disapprove of her smoking. She started smoking, which of course made her feel unwell due to the recent surgery.
The lengths these individuals will go to in order to cause harm are astounding. I am saddened that I believed she might have changed and that we could reconnect. It's crucial to stay away from such toxic people.
It is astounding, and I'm sorry you had to go through that. Too many of us have to learn the hard way that some people will never change 🙏❤️
@@CommonEgo Thank you for creating videos like this. They really help remind me to stay away from such toxic people.
She hurt herself just to hurt me, making me worry she'd blame me for any bruises or injuries.
The last time I went no contact with her, she punched me on the side of the neck while I was driving and told me she wished I had died as a baby. She wanted me to react badly, but instead, I got her into her own car and sent her home before things could escalate.
I know she's been trying to make me look like the abuser, so I have to stay away. Family members have told me about the lies she's spreading. It's shocking how low some people can go. When my father passed away, she made sure I got nothing, taking all the money before she even told me.
Thank you for the effort you put into these videos. After a few years of dealing with this mess, at least now I can see things for what they really are.
Please take care 🫂
She was using blood to deepen the trauma bond.
Yep. Sounds worse than my mother. She called me on time, after I’d gone no contact, saying she didn’t feel well and at another time, to tell me my sister was angry with her.
Both times, I took the advice of Little Shaman and asked if she’d like for me to dial 911 for her, because I was not coming. Both times, she didn’t want an ambulance or police there, since she’d long been in the midst of destroying her home.
I also would not come, because I felt I’d established she was a covert narcissist, my sister was a malignant narcissist and this was likely to become a dangerous situation, for all involved. So, she didn’t get the “running to her house” effect, she might’ve been after.
You really cannot help these people, without killing yourself.
Watch out for people who don't want you to ask about their ex and why they broke up. Watch out for people who don't integrate you naturally into their lives.
My NPD father is Master of the Grand Dramatic Issue. Several years ago, it was medically assisted end of life. He didn't qualify and I told him I wouldn't have anything to do with helping him because I wouldn't risk a murder charge. He keeps threatening to move out of assisted living apartment into a motel because he can't afford his apartment. We know exactly how much money he has - plenty. Currently, he feels the end is near and he wants to see me one last time before he dies. One of the most important ways I take care of myself is to not have dad-generated stress in my life.
Ever since I can remember my Dad told he me he "wasn't going to be around much longer."
One day when he was 90-something he started in again, and I told him "Dad I don't believe you. Ever since I was five years old, you've been telling me that you're going to die tomorrow.
Well, it hasn't happened yet, so I don't believe you anymore. I'm just as likely to die as you are, I'm out there everyday with traffic and buses and nutburgers and pollution and disease and cancer. YOU might be the one who goes to MY funeral tomorrow."
See how much sympathy HE has for YOUR funeral.
She just yelled at me in a parking lot once. She's like a terminator.
No remorse, no feelings , nothing.
Devastated I chose her to have a family with.
Oh well, maybe next life.
Perfect timing! my narc reached out by FB messenger after I blocked all his phone numbers. I did not respond or delete the message last week. I thought maybe in a year he would reach out again but it was one week. Messaged me again today and I think because I did not respond or block him, he took that as a opening. So today I blocked him completely on FB. I haven't even spoken to him in 5 years and I have also moved 500 miles away. Took me so long to get out because I did not want to deal with the fallout.
Don’t torture yourself by looking at their social media! Block delete and never look back. I’ve even deleted their friends bc I don’t want them telling my ex anything. I’m to the point I rarely even post anything about my life. You have to love and protect yourself and your peace as much as possible.
The narcissist hopes that you disappear quietly. Mine deleted me from her fb page almost straight away as they don’t want anyone to see the link between them and their ex. Reason being is they don’t want people to question why the relationship has ended as questions may suddenly be asked about them. It’s about maintaining their false image and being able to continue the pattern of behaviour they have perfected. My ex had a new supply within days, her close friends blocked me so I know she smeared me, although she denied doing so. She was the best actress I have ever met
They r known for their acting n drama queens @ka Oscar awards
She sounds like my sister-in-law. I would think it is her except that she was never in a close relationship with a man who wasn't family. She has a lot of brothers and takes turns buttering each of them up and discarding their wives.
Same experience here
The x narc was a great actor. Had so many fooled.
@@RaptureReadyforJesus-qv2ql they r in for the academy awards.
Hall of famers
You have just described my mother a 100%
Luckily for me, he made the mistake of moving to my hometown, right in the middle of my close-knit family who knows exactly who I am and now who he is.
Same, but family bonds get dropped for sex. It’s really sad that family means nothing in comparison.
They stalk you too
Great video. I can’t go no contact just yet with my toxic narcissist sister, but I did go very gray rock and now she is threatening to sue me for it. That’s how I know this is successful.
Why can't you go no contact?
I had to go no contact with siblings. A few years later tried to reconnect again. It did not last. I do email one sibling, but we don’t see each other.
The best way to scare off a narcissist probing you by criticizing you is to simply say: " Believe me , the last concern in my life is adjusting myself to make you happy." Narcissism like it's extreme revenge mode of psychopathy is all about finding the fear buttons to manipulate you with. When they see you are "hip to their tricks". That telks them you are smarter than them. And shatters deflates ( narcissistic injury) their overinflated ego. They either " ban you from their ranch" (delusional king/ queendom), or if malignant, you become a target of their revenge.. Ted Bundy is a classic example of a malignant narcisstic crossed over into homicidal psychopathy. After being jilted by a woman, he gained education enough to gain her acceptance of him. He then rejected her as revenge. And his victims thereafter were look a like proxies of her, which he then tortured and murdered. Read "The Stranger Beside Me" by Ann Rule for a first person account.
Mine been silent 2 years and did a few subtle things that didn’t work (randomly showed up at a venue I was at and showing up a gym a friend was at to make it a point to speak to them to get back to me). I didn’t respond to either. I gave them the discard and went no contact for over 2 years. I reached out twice in the beginning because I wanted closure, but after I found out they cheated/monkey branched (they think I don’t know about because they were hiding it) They smeared my name online and to everyone. I never reached out again. I deleted/blocked and never looked back. I hope they continue to stay away. She is for the streets. I don’t watch there social media or speak to anyone they know. I focus on myself and my life.
It’s good to hear that I wasn’t going crazy and others have experienced these same scenarios
sure i will go no contact
If you can, it's usually best for your own emotional wellbeing. Not everyone can manage no contact and that's okay. It's a personal decision 🙏❤️
@@CommonEgo Sure I can. My wife was 54 when I found out she had sex with a man of 38 in 2022. Now She I just found out she had sex with a guy even younger in July 2024. I lost 40 lbs of weight last time. This time I don't feel that much sad. I will leave.
They overplay their hand a lot. I went no contact after chasing her for months to know "WHY she did what she did". I was begging for closure.
She didn't meet or speak for mor3 than 18 months.
They are brick brain people with no empathy.
Please continue helping the one's who fell victim to these highly insecure actors and actresses, because your friends can't help, the church can't help, and a lot of other sources and resources are not set up or armed to deal with these types, and the after math can last forever IF you don't have the right information about these disordered types!! Thank you again Christina, you are giving us much detail and covering this topic very well, all my best to you..
Gratitude 🤲 Your Way.
Yes The Black Magic Got Crazy & Continual. Him & His New Supply.
Another thing the apology is is just a way to be "the bigger person". If you don't accept the apology then you are to blame and just holding grudges. They reframe it so that they were the ones trying to fix things and you just want to play the victim.
You can never win. It's like trying to draw a picture and they just keep spinning the canvass and making it difficult to see things clearly.
"Sure, I forgive you. And I don't want to be around you. If I had to be around you, then I couldn't manage to forgive you."
My narcissist left me alone because he just found another victim who was very needy and gullible.
3 time leaving the narc. To quote Richard Granon "The whole relationship was a lie."
Just listening to her talk about the narcissist makes me think back to everything I went through with my ex and I just cringe and grit my teeth. These people are very sickening. I’m not sure I can even watch all the way through the video it’s that sickening. I’m so glad I went no contact 4 months ago , and split up for about 6 months now.
My comment is in no way negative towards the person doing this video , and I really appreciate the fact that she takes the time to educate others on these narcissistic psychopaths
Heck 14 months for me was too much,I was literally dieing from stress, but she is gone now.
@@dennyfie I know that feeling and I was about a year and a half in myself lol sounds like a prison sentence 😂
It makes me sad my narc mother makes me look so crazy and like some crazy loser in front of ANYONE. I mean ANYONE . I haven’t spoke in half a year and not planning on coming back
I wish these videos would be more inclusive of people experiencing trauma from narcissists other than romantic partners. It’s frustrating that a person can tell that these are geared towards romantic partners. While some of the stuff is the same as it is with parents or siblings that are narcissists, not all of it is. There are more situations out there than just narcissistic partners.
Try Jerry Wise and Jay Reid. I like them for my FAmily of Origin issues.
@@lindac6919 thank you!!
A Narcissist Coach you are indeed, no doubt in my mind. Your experiences working with many others speaks volumes, and thank you for your vidz.. UNLESS you know this difficult person your dealing with HAS taken a very committed course of ACTION to change their whole reality and perception's of them selves and others, with proof of who is working WITH them, Clinical Psychologist, Professional who knows these types WELL, etc... REALITY SPEAKS LOUD and Clear, yes, they have NOT changed ONE bit!!! Fair WARNING..
I’m dealing with a narcissist right now and I’m getting out NOW!!!! I’m running!!!
Rooting for you
It’s emotional control and they want you to emote exactly how they want you to
Like feel happy now because I am doing these things you always wanted but was never given intentionally
Feel guilty because I want you to
Feel insecure because I want you to
Feel sad and upset because I want you to
They think you are just a toy who will emote as they tune the setting of the toy
YOU are AWESOME!!! I Love you! My Narc Genius husband did this all…. After such a SADISTIC CRUEL WEIRD Callous DISCARD 1 yr. ago. It almost destroyed me, Literally. But Jesus Held my hand, Opened doors, brought me help, sent His Holy Comforter(Holy Spirit) and Wiped my Tears!
My Narc… did go where I wanted to go…He did take the foreign trip I wanted to go so much, He did Fancy up his $60k Truck when I had king asked him to get me a new vehicle cuz mine is 200,000 miles……
Then turned around and left a message when I went NO CONTACT…. “Hey, I’ve been trying to get a hold of you. Why aren’t you answering . Are you Ok? I need to know you are safe, please let me know”
I NEVER RESPONDED…. He was tricking…..
If you can get an order of protection. No games unless they want jail.
It depends on the jurisdiction. In mine, there needs to be a threat made before a TRO or EPO is granted by a judge.
@Chanelle247 well yes I guess different circumstances. Mine did threaten my life. And I caught it on my cell 3 different times. Then broke order of protection. Went to jail after trying to get me arrested 9 seperate times. Karma is buitiful.
Not unless it's a female narcissist. They will not get put in jail. If I did to her what she did to me, I would be put in jail and I'd expect the key to be thrown away.
Women get away with so much abuse that it's actually maddening.
And it’s always when you think ‘it’s over, you are finally at peace’ when they contact you directly/indirectly 🤮
My X left me for a rebound guy after a few years together. She lost control over me. I got tired of being her punching bag and financial aid. In the end, I upgraded and my X down graded. No coming back.
After I wrote her a 43 page letter to say I was done and I'd wrote how much she has humiliated, abused and traumatised me, she came to my workplace, travelling fifty miles to bring me the few things I had left at hers.. After she had told me she was with someone else.
I told my work colleagues to get rid of her. I didn't want to see her. One did. She sent me messages saying I was a coward.
After speaking to the police, she's not allowed to contact me. A few months later, she did. Lo and behold, the police didn't arrest her. Just another warning.
I closed the door.
She tried opening it again.
I literally cry most nights and most mornings but I'm not with her and as much as that hurts, it's for what is best. I'd have died being with her. I'd literally be dead by now.
😥 I'm sorry. I hope you can heal asap.
@@cassiebennet4262 Thank you. Me too. She was so disgusting with me. Perfect at first. I was in heaven the first few months. That's what makes it so difficult.
Thank you! I recently ignored a bait attempt after going no contact. While it wasn’t easy, it was worth it! This information is so helpful. You hit all their tactics for those of us who might need reminding now and then. 🙏🙏🙏
Good job!
This is exactly what I needed as advice right now. Thank you
When i tell you this is soooo SCARILY on point?!?!?! Wowwwww!!
My favorite! Spot on! Thank you for this video. This is so helpful for me to keep up the good no contact work!
Thank you….needed this reminder!
🙏❤️
I have 4 daughters 7,3,2,9m she blocked me from all communication with my girls. So instead of going insane I just went and got a 2nd job and in the gym crazy. But fuck Me running I sure do miss my girls so much. She’s been doing the smear campaign for 14 years so honestly, now that everything is coming to a close, the only people behind her are the ones on social media that don’t exist. So when any outburst happen I can’t resist but laugh because all I see is an adult child that got deep rooted issues, but think everyone else is the problem
Delete social media, go completely dark. Tell no one your plans. Slowly gathering evidence the entire time. Use the court system and a mediator appointed by the courts. Absolutely most importantly NEVER let anyone hear you speak bad about the mother, don't even mention the word Narcissist. Use the courts and family law to gain access to your children. Stay off of social media so she never knows your next move, you have rights. Father's matter!!!!!!
I'd schedule an appointment for a vasectomy too.
The x took my children to another state and he got custody. I did not see them for over 20 years. They now went no contact with their dad.
@@herelieskittythomas3726 Beautiful Advice ❤
Everything you are saying is absolutely true!!! I'm living it all right now and it's been a rough road 😢 Please listen to every single word she says!!!
JUST the video I needed!
Thanks for your words of wisdom❤❤
I just stumbled upon this lady here. Wow. She really does nail it. Great job, and thank you.
Thank You so much for your insight, I watch lots of your videos over the last few days to get a grasp on what’s been going on with a woman I’ve been dating for a little over a month. Wow I feel like I’ve been duped nevertheless I appreciate the clarity you’ve given me as well as your audience.
Now I can begin to heal from such a short lived but traumatic experience. You’re right about the effects it has on the brain, I feel on edge now so this will take time to recover.
Very well said!
I don’t need closure. Spent this last January 2024 going through everything my ex wife did throughout our entire relationship. 25 years.
She would either deny it, shift blame or claim I was the toxic one because I had it all written down and could remember the days to a T. When I realized she was never going to accept or own her side of our relationship that is when I gave her a certain amount of time to find a place to live because she was no longer going to live with me. With in a week or two she was already in the bed with another guy (again) and claimed he was so much better in the bed than I ever was and he was a far better communicator as well. Whatever 🙄 is what I said.
I honestly hope she is happy because that just means I don’t have to worry about her hoovering me again. Right?
Doubt it.
I believe she is a covert narcissist. Yet understand that I am not licensed to diagnose either. It’s her actions that speak so loudly.
I also don’t have any social media so she can post anything she wants to because I’ll never see it. Well I guess I do have TH-cam if that’s considered social media???
I once had a friendship with a narcissist back when I was part of the art community. I cut him out of my life, and then less than a week later, I began to notice I was losing support from friends and people I once trusted. And many of them were mutual friends he and I shared. The moment I saw that, was the moment I knew what he was up to. It became a high speed chess match for a little over a year, and I won by going no contact entirely.
Don't give up. You too can heal. The advice in this video is exactly how you beat them.
i feel specifically targeted because i just decided to go no contact with my mother like 2 days ago
i told her i wasn't comfortable with a joke she made about me to others + how she was texting during her close friend's funeral, and she decided to tell me that i "need help" and i "shouldn't be offended" and that she "shouldn't have to go through this abuse" so i had enough 🙄
Good for you for standing up for yourself. Keep those boundaries strong 🙏❤️
@@CommonEgo Thank you! Your videos have helped a lot in regards to me learning and understanding both her actions and processes more, so I can better deflect them and protect myself!
Didn’t know dealing with narcs was a thing or even this serious I hope we all get away from the bs and grow to be who we were meant to be. There’s so many normal people in this world don’t sweat it just rebuild yourself my heart
You are so so right about stealing my wishlist..
Thank you for brilliant advice.
YES,, WE DONT NEED TO DEFEEND !!🎉🎉😊
This was really eye opening
Ohhh my god thank youuuu, thank you so much for all this information. You are an angel.
After our friendship ending blowup he called me sad and crazy like he always does. Then back to like nothing happened the next few days. He then slowly admitted to pieces of it. He wanted to get back to normal with admitting as little as possible. When that did t work he admitted to everything and gave the "he can be better speech" like he has 10 times. He admitted to everything after just calling me crazy for what I was saying. Didn't work this time and I think getting past this stage clearly shows how manipulative he is. I think he was confused because everything normally goes back to normal after this phase.
From there, he pretended nothing happened. From there he tried to bring up inside jokes and tell me I'm the only one who would get it. From there another "come to Jesus " speech. From there a speech trying to get me to feel sorry for him. Back to pretending nothing happened. Then he told me he was moving into my apartment. I think he was trying to trigger me/ knew it would get some type of response from me. I took the bait and he called me a narcissist for trying to control where he lives. He then backtracked on everything he apologized for. Now he just "casually " leaving me messages late at night on my Facebook account. It's very clear he is just poking around trying different tactics while admitting to as little as possible. These people don't change. They only care about what they are missing with their supply.
Maybe you should just leave him alone.
Drink some water, touch grass, breathe or pluck some flowers .
Let him find a new target to play these games with. You're out.
@@ak-47intelligence75 That's a bit of a jackass response. We're just sharing stories here man. I have left him alone.
Emotional blackmail, thank you
Hi! What I ve listened and heard about narcissists for days on the Web I must say life is too short to play games with whom ever. If people have mental problems Don t accept lack of respect of any kinds. Dignity is the essence of an individual. Protect it! When you understand that person is playing with your feelings hurry to leave. Poison is their beloved mix in their mouth. Leave . Live your life and handle those people to God. Why would you low down yourself to avoid crisis from mental ill individuals? If you Don t leave may be you also have a problem. God guide you in discernment. From France. .
You are God sent. Thank you for this.👏🏿👏🏿
Oooh helpful. I had a friend with narc traits that I withdrew from. They showed up one day where I was and it was uncomfy. I have recently distanced myself from another friend (tis the season) and I communicated in a group chat I wasn’t going to do group catch-ups at the moment. This person reached out to another in the group asking ‘what’s wrong with her (me)’. So it could be they were trying to paint me in an unfavourable light (e.g. unstable, irrational) or present themselves as a victim. They’ve since tried to play on my empathy and guilt (‘my life is a disaster’ without giving me any details and ‘my young daughter has been asking about you’).
THANK YOU!!!!❤️😍
I've been going through it for awhile now, groups of people, new groups of people etc, I Am at the point where am just seeing these people as jokes , the stuff they do I'd never do which tells me a lot lol. You 100% need to get the information to understand it but after awhile guys I promise you will be so wise to it, it won't be nearly as painful as it is & you will be able to maneuver better around them 🙏🙏🧡🧡
I find great joy in spotting a narc and not having anything to do with them.
She keeps reminding me the nice moments... Pffff I know her game!
Thank you! :)
Thank you for this video. I plan on going no contact in the future but it’s not viable now. In the past I would bring up different scenarios that the narcissist would display so he would shape shift his lies into his narrative.
It was so frustrating because this could drag on for years and years but you have given me the tools and knowledge to not fall for their games ever again. Love your insightfulness.
I want to start telling my stories online. And I’ve started writing a book about my life with narcissists .
I’m going to be their worst nightmare one way or another and it’s going to help other victims because I’m finally coming to it from a place of knowledge and empathy (with a dash of narrative correction😉)
Thanks for your content because it’s great for the empowerment side of healing 🙌🏼💙
He told me he will go and find someone on dating app and will forget about us and I told him ( can I help you?? I can help you on the dating app to find the women and he said No I don't want them I want you 😂😂😂😂. They think the world should revolve around them but reality slaps them everytime. I keep seeing right through his mask and the lies everytime. Actions speak louder than words
It’s also funny watching them try different tactics that you tell them are not gonna work like insulting my intelligence by playing stupid. Do you know what they say? Play stupid games when stupid prizes 😂
Yes you family will be the first to tell you they tried to tell you something was off about them.
My daughter is stuck on a narcissist. We all see him for what he is not sure if she sees it I asked her if she sees it she didn't answer me. I told her when she's ready to walk away we are here for her and will help her. She's said they're only friends. That's a bad idea from the get go. It's only to stay in her life and hold her back.
Codependency could be a factor as well. I just went through this with an ex in a similar situation as yours. I however, in this example, would be the "narcissist". It turns out we were holding each other back. The pain from going no contact with each other is immense and all I want to do is crawl back into their life. It's not healthy. Some times, you have to lose all your attachment to someone. Then you can find out if it was actually love or not. I wish your daughter peace and happiness.
A shovel is a multipurpose instrument
Great video
If you’re really no contact you shouldn’t be spying on their social media.
True. That really is not " no contact".
I love you so much. Thank you you!
1st time viewer, subbed & liked the video ☮☮🧡🧡
You nailed EVERY tactic. My ex did everything except the high road. I think that one was too much for her ego, by she obsessed, had friends calling, tried the closure, she tried it all.
Have s pertective/no contact order he violated it when he bonded out...he's back in jail. The peace is awesome for now
Great post !!😮😮🎉🎉
Unfolding in REAL TIME RN !!