Why Do Wives Take Their Husbands' Names?
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 28 ก.ย. 2024
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SOURCES AND FURTHER READING
Maiden and Married Name: en.wikipedia.o...
Miss, Mrs, and Ms: www.grammarly....
About Men, My Maiden Name: www.nytimes.co...
The History Behind Maiden Vs Married Names: seattlebridema...
Law Of Coverture: www.thoughtco....
How To Change Your Last Name After Your Wedding: www.theknot.co...
Who gets To keep Their Name?: www.vogue.com/...
New Study Says More Women Are Keeping Their Maiden Names: www.theknot.co...
I Took My Wife’s Name - And Then the Hassle Began: www.bbc.co.uk/...
More Couples Are Combining Their Last Names And Creating New Family Identities: www.glamour.co...
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I want to hear SO MUCH from you guys in the comments about this video. This video focusses on the English speaking world so I would love to hear what traditions there are in the nn-english speaking world. Also I want to hear from married people. Did you have discussions about what name to take before being wed? Did you keep your name? Did you make up a name? Where you happy with the decision you made? I want to hear it all!
im from a *nn* -english speaking country
In Denmark, it’s fairly common to have two surnames, and the wives will often take one of her husbands’ surnames and keep one of her own - and some couples choose to merge the two, taking one name from each person.
Here in India most communities do the same thing with the lady going to the Mans house ,but one of the communities the khasis have the men take the woman's last name and the man goes to the lady's house,which I found interesting
I'm german. My mother actually uses a compound name between hers and my fathers. My uncle actually took his wifes name, since his family name was "Heil", wich isn't that great in germany, especially for children.
Name Explain in Arabic speaking countries there’s no such a thing as changing the name after marriage. But the kids however, they always take their father’s name. As far as I know.
On an islamic country like Saudi Arabia, it’s illegal for adopted children to take their adopting family’s name. So the agency will choose a fake last name for them, anything other than that family’s name.
I am surprised in the history part you didn't mention how, if the woman had higher social standing than the husband, he would take her name.
he did, though briefly
@@musAKulture Where? Not in this video..😂
I and Mr. Vanderbilt agree.
I didn’t come across this in my research but thank you for bringing it up.
this was incredibly rare though. take royal families for example, arguably the highest station in society, they didn’t take the women’s name that’s why there are so many family names in royal family trees
*_Karen took the kids, so it makes perfect sense she would take my name as well_*
*who is Karen* and what kind of joke is this
@@allahstan4171 it's a joke about american "soccer" mom's who divorce their man and take the kids with them
@@commanderkampfsuppe7840 thanks but you mean
*Football*
I’ve actually consider making a “Why Is The Name Karen So Popular On The Internet?” video.
@@NameExplain
DEW IT!
In Spain women not only do not lose their surnames ever, there is also a fairly recent law stating that if the parents do not agree in the order of their child's surnames, it will be decided by tossing a coin.
That is progress! Thank you for sharing!
Lol coin toss sounds fun but imagine you have 10 kids and still lose the coin toss unlucky 😂
In America (continent) women don't loose their name (only in USA and Canada) and their kids will have both last names.
@@lifeisworthlivingsoliveano463 In Spain, everyone has 2 last names, one from each parent. So if you lose the coin toss your name will still be included. The coin toss is for name order! Traditionally, José García Pérez and María Soto López would have a son named Juan García Soto, but now parents can also choose Juan Soto García. If they can't decide, the coin toss winner's name comes first.
@@zlo8389 Ohh that’s great. But if you don’t mind me asking which one of them passes to the next generation?
I am a man and I am taking my fiancee's name for two reasons.
1) I moved to her country and want to use it to show my willingness to accept and integrate into the new culture.
2) my Father was never a part of my life. He left when I was 3, so, other than my sister, I am the only one I know with my last name. My fiancee only has a sister, so if there is going to be a choice on who's last name gets to continue, it should be the one of the father who has been more of a father to me than my own father.
I think those are justified to break tradition, no?
When I get married (one day hopefully :D) I would like to take my spouse's last name because I also live in a different country with a very different language and so having a more regional surname would nake it a bit easier moving around.
Tomas Vrabec why not combine the name
Sure mate
Why not take your mother's name?
So your taking your fiance's Father's name..
Always be careful when making statements like "across the globe"
Nobody cares what they do in Salsaland
@@TinklestheGoat well yes, people may not care. But if it is not true in Asia, Spanish countries, Salsaland or others then the statement "across the globe" is false which should be the important part.
@mPky1 In Spanish-speaking countries, the wife doesn't take her husband's surname, rather they keep their own. The most similar thing to this is that the husband might sometimes be called Name Surname 'of' Husband's-Surname, but it's not very common and it is not written in any legal documents
Nicocal 04 no the term across the globe is still applicable it’s not claiming everyone on the globe has done it but it takes place all over the globe some in asia some in Europe some in the Americas
That is still a true statement...
I think it started as a way to ensure lineage. Women can be 100% sure thier child is but men had no way to test this back in the day. To compensate for this, men were very strict about women's chastity and probably used Surnames to ensure thier lineage.
LOL no
While what you are saying is partially true, your take on this is entirely too one-sided.
How society viewed women was far more complex and varied depending on region and era.
@@Sunscorched That's possibly the most one-sided take on women's history that I've ever read. Your analysis is full of false causation, and arguments that aren't supported in even the most general sense. Humans aren't so simple, and you can't generalize gender issues into a good vs evil dichotomy.
No,@@ryanhall5360.
It absolutely isn't false at all. You need to Google:
Dowries were given to daughters in order to entice male suitors to marry them. The higher the dowry, the better the match for the suitor and his estate. This is also a well-known fact.
Piano legs. It's a well-known fact that the legs of both a piano and pianofortes were covered because they closely resembled the ankles of a lady. So they were covered to prevent men from having a highly inappropriate reaction to the sight of them when in company.
Chaperones accompanied courting and engaged couples to ensure neither party got frisky. A woman could not be alone in a room, even with the door open, for 15 minutes without gossip flying around and boom. She became a...
Fallen women were those who had their reputations ruined by either pre-marital sex that left them an unwed mother. These girls were then sent to either live in Scotland, Ireland, or Wales. Or they were taken away by their families to give birth and the baby would be adopted out to a family.
Sometimes these babies would be dropped outside of churches or left for dead, depending on the family's income and social status.
Reputations were also ruined through malicious gossip that went around the drawing rooms of Mayfair. No fashionable personage of good breeding would ever be seen with a tainted woman because they would then become tainted by association.
Heirs and spares were an actual thing. Families, especially those in Society, would birth and birth until both an Heir and a Spare, or second son were had. Colonel Richard Fitzwilliam in P&P is a second son, and as his status dictated, he had no choice in taking a commission. He would not inherit the Fitzwilliam Estate. A second son was not seen to be as desirable a catch as the Heir, of course, but still a catch for his connections and circle. Particularly if his family belonged to the first and second circles.
If a woman reached the age of 5 and 20, for example, she was seen more or less as a maid. Such as Charlotte Lucas, for instance. She did not have much chance of making a good match until William Collins. Neither was she the Lucas' heir, but she was also seen as quite old, and with her father's small estate being given as a reward for service to the crown? It was very small and wasn't worth much money. So even Mary Bennet, the third daughter with a dowry of £1,000, would be seen as a better match than Miss Lucas.
A lot of properties were entailed away from the female line.
This is why, in Pride & Prejudice, Mrs Bennet is so desperate to see all of her five girls married. Without a son and heir, Longbourne would pass to the next male in the Bennet family, leaving Mrs Bennet and any unwed daughters homeless and living off of a mere £50 a year from the interest on Mrs Bennet's £5,000 dowry. That dowry was spread between her five daughters at £1,000 each and that would have been £50 a year for them to live on.
So Mrs Bennet tried to push Lizzy into marrying Mr Collins, the heir to Longbourne, in order to secure their futures and keep the Bennet line in Longbourne for another generation at least.
By comparison, Caroline Bingley had a dowry of £20,000 and Georgiana Darcy £30,000.
These are just a small handful of examples of what women faced only 200 years ago.
Regency era is an excellent place as that's where things began to turn a little as the Industrial Revolution came into play when machines first started to take human jobs. In the UK, it was the 1800's (mid I believe) when women really started to come out of their shells.
You can't change history just to make yourself feel better. Go read a bloody history book, for crying out loud. Everything here is FACT.
@@Sunscorched Everything you're describing is European high-society, (see: everything in pride and prejudice), and the societal norms in that particular society, which don't represent how women were viewed at the time in the slightest, were based on class hierarchies. It had little to do with gender, or how people viewed women, it was a matter of gaining power for each family. Regardless, nothing that you've said has any impact on your argument that women were looked down upon. You can't prove a mindset without concrete evidence, and you have no clue as to why these things actually happened. You're imposing your own ideology onto past events with no regard as to what actually might have happened. Revisionist history at its finest. Don't make stupid generalized claims about society, especially past societies that you've never been in, you're not proving anything because you can't prove anything.
In the Hispanoamerican World both the husband and wife keep their surname and then pass it down to their child usually with the format of "name father's surname mother's surname", although it can happen differently. I do not know where else in the world this happens though. The cool thing is that you technically have infinite surnames since after your mother's surname comes you father's mother's (your grandmother) surname and so on forever.
In the Philippines it's "name mother's surname father's surname".
Well, that does not happen in Argentina. Here, women keep their last names. If her name is "María Pérez" before getting married, her name will later be "María Pérez". And they can choose what surname give to their children.
@@MatiasRodriguez-eo7tb Yes that is what I am saying
@@konigkai Sorry, I read another comment and I got confused xd
@@MatiasRodriguez-eo7tb lol ok
Former Brazilian president José Sarney adopted his wife's family name when he married. Her family was already the most powerful bunch in Maranhão state politics and it was an strategic decision to adopt her name. He became president, afterall.
I have always found it weird that people change their name. Where I live (Québec, Canada), it is actually illegal to change someone's name when they marry.
Here in Argentina basically every woman keeps her Last name. You might find some older women who add "of -Husband last name-", so if a woman named Rose Smith married a man named Henry Gates, the woman would become "Rose Smith of Gates". This is rarely used nowadays. Also now it's more common for children to have both last names, so the son of the couple would be "Ben Gates Smith".
In Quebec, the government has decided to not allow a woman to choose. Choosing to change your name as a result of marriage have effectively been outlawed.
In Latin America people don't change their last name when getting married. And children have 2 Las names, their dad's and their mom's.
Didn't take my husband's last name. It's a bit of an unfortunate name. My brothers picked on me, co workers snickered, my aunt almost wrecked the car from laughing so hard, and for some weird reason my dad can't pronounce it when it's just 2 words combined into 1. I'm good by not having my brothers tease me going "Hi Mrs Diaeria!"(that's not the name but it's what the name implies in modern english)...So luck to have avoided it...our kids though are gunna be sooo cursed.
3:20 My husband and I each kept our own names. He actually wanted to take _my_ last name, but between loathing the property connotations of (traditionally) the wife taking the husband's last name, and having been through the "fun" of legally changing my name once already, about 20 years ago, I dissuaded him from that course of action.
Edited to add: After my mother found out I'd changed my name... the first things she asked me were how I did it and how much it cost. (At this point she'd split from the guy we moved to New Zealand to marry, and she didn't want to carry his last name any more.) Then when she got married about ten years ago, I tried to convince her to keep... the last name she chose, but she took her new husband's last name. I won't share _exactly_ what it is, but I _will_ say that it's the common name of a species of fish...
Edited again to add: Neither of my parents cared at all that I abandoned the family surname. My mother wasn't invested in it, and on my father's side, I have male (step-)cousins to continue it anyway.
Its really sad that because of the name thing many baby girls were killed because they weren't a son. I really believe womens names should be given to the child and now days woman have degrees and raising and working, doing 75% of the marriage work.
In Spain everybody has two last names: the first one is from the father and the second one is from the mother. The wife never takes his husband's name, it would be a bit complicated since she also has too two last names. The next generation will lost the grandmother's name, because you only take the first ones' names of your parents (both inherit from the grandparents) but i still think it is a nicer way.
I'm from a Matrilineal society, we take our mother's name.☺️
Which society is it ?
Yeah I'm curious as well! Where is this place?
I'm from one northeastern state of India. I belong to the Khasi tribe. And there are other numerous tribes around this region that are matrilineal.
@@wrusselrani9511 cool! I always imagined there might be a place like that, and it's nice to know there is
@@onetwo57627 WTF! Do you even know what matrilineal means? I never said we're a "matriarchal society". And what is with the assumption of these pagan gods? 80% of us are Christians. Ninny, educate yourself please.
I wouldn't give up my last name. It's a kenyan last name and since I want to be apart of that country as much as I can, and since I take pride in my name I wouldn't want to take my hubby's name.
Degenerate woman
I like how you uploaded this on International Women's Day, considering the subject matter. I wonder if that was a coincidence. But anyways, my mother never changed her maiden name and neither did my father but my mother decided it was better for me to have her last name than my father's.
In the country I'm from, women don't change their last name after marriage, but their children still take the father's name.
omg u can mix last names?! im likely not getting married but if i ever do, im doing that lol
Araya Foster Don‘t be pessimistic, I am sure you will find someone :)
@@derzuschauer4695 no, i have a bf right now that im likely staying with for a long time, if not, forever. im just not religious and dont want to marry. he doesnt want to either lol
Basically ship names. Lol.
genetically speaking, it's the Y chromosome that remains the same throughout (discounting mutations and crossover).
😂😂😂😂
Yeah.. The Xs get there through magic 👏👏👏
Raya Al Hajri
Obviously not. The point was probably that there is interchromosomal recombination between two X chromosomes. When a woman has her child, that child does not get the same X chromosome as either of hers, it's a mix of the two. But when a father has a son, they share the exact same Y chromosome.
@@HerrMisterTheo
What are you talking about? I don't remember reading it like that where a mother's last chromosome gets recombined. Although that might explain why in females humans the mitochondrial DNA is the one looked at for lineage and males the Y-chromosome. Then again chromosomes only ever look like ‹X› just as their about to go throughout mitosis or meiosis and never like ‹Y›.
jsdf. jkkejk Why are you telling me that?
When my parents got married, my mother added my father's name with a hyphen to hers. (My father was going to do the same, but never got around to it). It's amazing how, despite hyphenated names being common, it's still been a hassle for my mother. For instance, on her drivers liscense, because of a technical problem, her maiden name is technically a middle name
I took my first husband’s last name when we divorced I reverted to my maiden name... remarried and due to medical records I kept my maiden name but while my kids were still in school I still answered to their dad’s last name (first husband).
I'm glad that things are changing, I never liked the idea (ever since I've learned this during childhood) that one day my surname would change.
In Vietnam, and even all the Vietnamese communities in the world, wives can still culturally, traditionally and legally keep their last names until the end of their lives. It’s against almost the rest of the world but I’m comfy with it. I don’t really need my spouse to be handcuffed with any others’ identity, even if she/he has called my parents mum and dad. I’ve even offered my girlfiend that she can name one of our kids by her last name in the future if she wants. I don’t know if this is a serious thing to other cultures, but my advice is to just do what you think is right. 🤷🏽♂️
I got my father's name but my mom never changed her surname. She is pretty attached to her surname. In addition, she is often asked if she is related to a famous local actor.
and then Mr. Smones Marries Mrs. Moors and becomes Smores.
In Italy women don't change their surnames after marriage
(about offsprings) imo it's a lot easier if we use both last names, one as middle and the other as the last. My middle name is my mom's last, my last name is my dad's last ("Nathan Alexandre" is my name, my mom wanted Nathan, my dad Alexandre, my mom's mom just had the idea to combine both... my entire name is a just a bunch of combinations)
The future double barrel name could be: Crinjun-Smithereens-Beauford-Dillydally-Hapsburg-Upside-Down-Smith.
This is why you should just give the child his fathers name because if he gets Crinjun-Smithereens-Beauford-Dillydally-Hapsburg-Upside-Down-Smith. he will most likely change it anyway. So give him 1 surname and get him to be loyal to it. (All the people who have it)
No it could just be like both of you have hyphenated last names then pass only 1 to your children
I thought your surname was Explain...
Marzeski xD
His name is Patrick Foote. (Now if you want to look him up in the telephone book and start playing practical jokes on him you can, if you're mean like that.)
Ggdivhjkjl, Unfortunately I live across the pond, so I won’t be able to do that!
My sister kept her maiden name when she got married but their kids have her husbands last name.
In my case, I took my mother's last name because my dad is an immigrant with a hard to pronounce name and my parents agreed that I have my mom's last name for convenience.
I have a cousin who is married to his husband and he took his last name and he refers to his former name as his bachelor name.
My father was born with only a patronymic but no surname, in accordance with the tradition of his country. My mother’s surname was not heritable before the mid 19th century. However, my wife has a very old and famous surname that’s been passed down for nearly 500 years. In another culture I might have taken her name.
My late Mum used to say she went to school with a girl called Ramsbottom who married a man called Sheepshanks.
Oh one more story! A woman I used to know delighted in the surname Saltmarsh. She married a man with the surname Sebastian and gladly took his name :-D
Funfact: In Quebec, spouses can't change their last name after marriage since 1981. It is stated by the État Civil that both spouses have to keep their names and that the government only recognizes your ''maiden'' name, even if you were married abroad.
That's why I find it so strange when I see how much it's common practice elsewhere. Like, I don't get why you would want to change your name.
@a_slight_veneer_of_privacy Lol, what are you talking about?
In my parents case, my mother simply added my father's surname to hers, but keeping her own surname,but my father did not change his name, I got both families name, and this seens to be the norm in brazil.
In Chile they both conserve their surnames
As someone who already has two last names dashed because I have both my parents last names it would be weird to dash another to that....
if I were to get married I have no problem giving up my dad’s last name but I would have a problem giving up my mom’s.
We as Muslim women, we dont take our husbands last names. We keep ours and our kids get their dads.
At conversion of a new convert, they take on Abdullah as the father's name or surname. That means the ties with the real family, the family that bore this person is cut off.
I mean in some groups the name of the woman is considered to be the family name out of tradition , these societies are called matrilineal societies. For more information - en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Matrilineality
My mother kept her last name (Young) when she got married, because she had previously been married before.
As people in my country generally don't have surnames, the whole concept of changing names had always been seen as a Chinese thing when I was growing up.
Hi, a fan from Peru here.
Here the norm is using both last names. For example, my father is (Landeo) (De la Torre) and my mother is (Villanueva) (Espinoza), so my brother and I are (Landeo)(Villanueva). In the past the bride use to take his husband's last name, in a different way. For example, my Great aunt was (Villanueva)(Espinoza) de (Martinez), and when she widowed she became (Villanueva)(Espinoza) widow of (Martinez). Nowadays this is seem as a little backwards.
The custom of using both last names creates issues when one migrates to somewhere where only one lastname is used. When my aunt migrated to the US, she wanted to keep both her last names and the authorities didn't wanted to allowed. It also was a problem when my mom and I went to visit her.
Also, a couple of years ago, a law was approved that allows the parents to choose the order of the lastnames of their children. Normally is the father's lastname first and then the mother's. But now you can choose.
Also, when there is no father around. It's sadly common to have the mother's lastname twice.
As a gay man, I REALLY appreciated this video. Thanks!
In Korea, the woman doesn't take the husband's name. She keeps her surname. I don't know how it became like this, considering that in ancient Korea women's rights were disregarded as the medival west.
A local ethnic tribe in central Sumatra, Indonesia, the tradition was to take on the wife's surname after marriage. It was controversial, due to the Islamic religion, but the matriarchal society in Minangkabau still lives on today.
3:15 NO! ABSOLUTELY NOT! ITS EVIL!
I don't think I'll change my name if I get married. I dunno, I just like the way 'Reynolds' sounds.
In the province of Quebec in Canada, it is illegal to a wife to take the husband name. If I remember right, the bill pass in the 70s. So you only see women past 70 years old with two name, because for the gouvernement, they need to identify be maiden name.
Tip: just don't marry
Ms. is the way all women are addressed in the American South. However, we usually refer to them as Ms. (first name), only referring to them as Ms. (last name) if they’re in a position of authority like your boss or teacher.
a_slight_veneer_of_privacy I spelled it like it’s abbreviation because that’s how he did it in the video.
Also, I never said that calling a woman Misses is oppression. I’m just saying that here in the American South, we’ve been calling all women Miss for sometime now. No one seems to know why. It’s just something we do.
As a gay chinese dude. I think I'll change my last name in English upon my marriage to a non-east asian man. But my then husband and our children will take on my clan name when conversing in Chinese. If I marry and east asian I'll just combine our clan names. Two-three character clan names are common in Japan
people can get arrested if you break the tradition of not murdering people. GOSH PEOPLE, WAKE UP!!!!!! HE'S FEEDING YOU LIES!!!!!
I know that islamically (can differ from culture to culture which is why i mention it religiously) no one is to change their name because of marriage, but children will keep the name of their father.
Muslim women don't take their husband's last names because since the beginning of Islam, women were treated as independent individuals who can own property, inherent, have personal businesses and have their own name and maintain it. Husband and wife aren't 1 entity in Islam. Every one of them have their own money, and their own property. Nothing automatically moves from one partner to the other after marriage. So the woman have her own money and the man continues to have his own money and property, but unlike the women, men are obligated to provide for their families, but women aren't. So the man can't require the women to contribute to the household. If she want to, she can, if she doesn't, then her money is hers only and he can't force her to pay rent or contribute anything.
@@jonathanr. have you ever been to any Arab or Muslim country? Then shut up :)
In my country, surname is name of grandfather, wife doesn't change her surname after marriage
im my country we use both surnames so i have both my mom's and dad's surname and when u get married u get to keep ur last name as well
Two stories for you. I know a lesbian couple who changed both their surnames to another name entirely, choosing one they both loved and giving it to their children. And my partner and I gave our son her surname, because she comes from a tiny family and I come from a huuuuuuge one. Also she has a cool surname :-)
I'm keeping my maiden name legally when I get married, and on all legal documents, but I'll hyphenate my last name for everyday use. And I'm using Ms.
in my country ( Algeria ) we don't do that, the wife keeps her family name and the children will have the name of their father
In Brazil we have something like the Roman naming convention with a name and a surname, which is called sobrenome and os composed of first the mother's middlename then the mother's lastname, then the father's middle name then the father's last name plus a conditional like jr. If applicable, but of course there are exceptions and some like my parents only put the last name of both of them as my surname or sobrenome. So instead of Iago Santos Costas Dantas Barreto Souza...I am just Iago Santos Barreto. Which is much easier, however my mother added my father's Barreto to the end of her name she did not take any out
In Saudi Arabia, the tradition never take the husband surname, because in the Arab culture we appreciate the family name wife can not change it because man and my family name go back to 800 years
so for me is very strange the idea to take husband family name
Hyphenated names don't work because the size of the name doubles each generation so within a few generations you have last names like "Smith-Brown-Nelson-Haney-Jones-Huber-Slates-Goldsmith-Hammersmith-Moser-Stone-White-Combes-Frank"Combined names are just as bad, they just turn into mis-mush of letter "hdfnsyethdfingshaydhfkghagd"
Took a new name when I followed Islam
People weren't happy
Now I am taking a new name and reclaiming my family name
Other people aren't happy
.
The really tripoy thing for me is just how emotionally invested everyone else is in my choices that don't affect them
But when I'm struggling in life, most of these same people are either ignoring me or chastising me for making "wrong" choices
Salam
In the webcomic “Kevin and Kell” by Bill Holbrook, rabbit Kevin Kindle, a single father with an adopted hedgehog daughter named Lindesfarne, married wolf Kell Dewclaw, a single mother with a wolf son named Rudy, and took the name Dewclaw, as did Lindy (who is now married). They have a daughter, carnivorous rabbit Coney Dewclaw.
So it’s not just in real life; it’s in literature too!
I thought that Ms. was for divorced women and widows. Also, why do some women change their middle name to their maiden name when they get married?
I'm wondering about international marriages, how they go about changing their names, if at all. For example, my surname is Organ and if I were to marry a Japanese woman the naming conventions are completely different, most notably that in Japan your family name comes before your given name. I know that people do exist that have English given names and Japanese family names but has the opposite happened?
In my view with laws these days you can have the same rights and protections without getting married (civil partnerships) so the only real use of a marriage is religious union and changing the name. I wouldn't marry if my future wife wouldn't change her name, is just stay engaged or go a different route.
Marriage was originally a civil contract to raise children and have assets in common. It wasn't until later that the church pushed in and then it became common to get married in church.
The point of it was twofold, have a celebration of a new family in the community and new children to grow the community, and have an opportunity to publicly announce your union and give anyone the chance to object like some old lady knowing the couple were brother and sister or someone knowing the man was already married to someone in the next village.
My mom didnt take my dad's name...nor did my dad take my mom's name...but my name is my dad's name...
in china, we dont take the husband's name. and due to the one child policy on han chinese in the past. Now a lot of parents choose to have two children and name one of the kid with the mother's last name.
I mainly want to take a husbands name because I hate that my current surname is tied to an abusive father.
As some commented from above in the Philippines, the mother retains her surname as a middle name. She however, loses her middle name when she was still single. For example, if someone is named Eva Rosales Bernardo (in this example, the surname is bernardo from the father and Rosales is from the mother, usually abbreviated to the First letter, R. In which case, in papers not needing that much detail, she would write her name as Eva R. Bernardo. If she were to marry, for example Lucas Santos Hernandez, She would become Eva Bernardo Hernandez/Eva B. Hernandez. The names that will be passed on to the children will be Bernardo Hernandez/B. Hernandez. Thus, the maiden names of the couples ( in this case, Rosales from the lady and Santos from the man) will die out with the couple .
Some traditions don’t need to change my wife have my last name and that’s it
Cool, but why shouldn't it change? What's the big deal? Why are you okay with people insulting others who take their wife's last names?
i never understood why they did this when i was a kid and i don't really like it now that I'm older. i don't know if i would have my significant other change her family name.
We've destroyed enough traditions in the last few decades. Let's leave this one intact.
Why?
@@martinsriber7760 Families are cohesive units and it makes more sense to have one name. The man has always been the head of the family so it makes more sense for her to take his name.
@@bonecanoe86 It makes more sense to you, it doesn't to me.
You don't have to worry about traditions. Either they stick around or they don't. If they don't, there isn't much you can do, so complaining won't help either.
So you want to force the traditions you like onto others?
You may want to consider the utility of surnames also with regards to the risk of incest.
Short term:just use the last name that suits both first names
In korea they arent allowed to adopt the family name and has to carry their maiden name on as a reminder they came from outside the family. Opposite outcome, same woman dont matter sexist attitude.
It would be considered to be a dishonour to the whole clan and a complete disrespect to all of your ancestors if you ever change your surname in my culture, men or women. Wives DO NOT change their surname to their husbands.
I think people should go with the less common name of the two. Like if a Stimmel and Coleman wanted to marry they would both be Stimmel, because Stimmel is way more uncommon. This means hopefully more small surnames will survive for generations.
It's actually not common across the globe. There are more countries where women keep their names.
My cousin uses a hyphenated name. (I'll use Smith and York as an example!) The mother's surname is York, while their Father's is Smith. Their children became Smith-York. And they kept their names, it's kinda cool.
In Belgium, while each spouse can use the other's name, the law requires that one's surname doesn't change after marriage.
However, few women choose to adopt their spouse's name unofficially
Well my mum remarried when I was 9 and she and my step-farther whom I never much cared for decided that I should take his surname. Even at the age on 9 I thought the idea was completely fucking stupid, (I still do,) so they went away and came back with the even more stupid idea of hyphenating my own surname and my step father's surname which has caused both me and other people whom I've been involved with nothing but problems ever since; however since I have two half brothers, (contraception and family planning being concepts seemingly entirely beyond their comprehension,) much younger than me I'd never bothered to change it back.
By the age of 18 I had gone through 2 divorces and had acquired an entirely realistic insight in just how little any marriage is worth, which is to say almost nothing at all.
My first wife, (who was Roman Catholic; you know those people always make such a song and dance about marriage and who don't believe in divorce, now on her third marriage; but we shouldn't laugh,) insisted on changing her surname to mine completely against my wishes, (a situation complicated by her having been married once already and divorced,) and completely without my consent, despite her having been told clearly and firmly that I wouldn't agree to it under any circumstances and then tried to, (blackmail would not be too strong a word for it,) me into letting her change her children's surnames names to mine as well. I refused.
I've now been married, (not that I regard that fact as being particularly important of itself,) to someone else for nearly 20 years, (she's also a step kid and, "gets it," perfectly,) she's kept her own name even though she's still very definitely Mrs and both she and I are perfectly happy and completely comfortable with the situation.
What the problem is supposed to be if any still escapes me entirely, but it's whatever works I guess.
Although as a general rule I think it's almost always a huge mistake for any step child to take a step parent's surname; it causes nothing but confusion, misunderstanding and needless complications sometimes for the rest of their lives.
In a family I know, one of the brothers changed his surname from Gaye to Gray. I can't imagine why. His brothers followed. Changing their surnames automatically changed those of their wives and children. However, one brother held out, and the last I heard, he was thinking of changing his name from Gaye to his mother-in-law's maiden name of Manly. Apparently in that family, Miss Manly became Mrs Hoare, and Miss Hoare became Mrs Gaye.
Of course, it needs to be pointed out that the woman's "own name" is really her father's. Besides which, there is a very good reason for not keeping her maiden name: people will think they are not really married, but merely living in sin.
I've seen a variation of the hyphenated name where the woman takes her maiden name as a middle name and then adopts her husband's name as a sirname.
I didn't take my husband's name. If we had children, they would have had my surname. Alas, it didn't happen:(
My parents had a dice toss to decide who would take on the name of the other
Did you know that Americans got the word 'soccer' from the British? That's why Australia also uses Soccer.
Most Chinese didn't do this anymore couple decades ago. And now even more families which have more than 1 child let their child someone take father's name and other one take mother's name.
random additional info. women in mainland china almost always keep their surname (while those in hk adopted the british system quite frequently). after the one-child policy, there is a growing number of children who take their mother's surname rather than the father's (though still very few in total numbers). there are also those who completely abandoned the idea of a surname altogether. of course, there's also tibetans who don't have surnames to begin with.
I think surnames arose because of bureaucratic purposes, which is why they are a lot more common in places formally under the control of highly centralized empires
Took my husbands last name because mine was so common and boring, while his was unique. However, when my uncle married his wife, he chose her last name because he thought the same as me: our surname is so boring and common; and I remember I took offence to that in my grandfathers place :P
What, no mention of the problem with the hyphenation system that it simply pushes the hard decision down a generation? Children are so lovingly left to choose between their parents when they themselves get married and have kids and have to pass on just one of their parent's last names. (Unless you expect them to carry four last names, your grandchildren eight, and so on, exponentially.) Unless a newlywed couple is determined to never have kids, I fail to see how hyphenation is much of a solution. Better to work it out with your new spouse than to leave it to your kids to decide.
Also, in Japan it's a historic and still common practice for men to adopt thier wife's surname if the wife's family has no heir. The son in law is basically "adopted" into the clan. It's usually in situations when a company boss has no male heirs.
Neato
Whoa nice
So...like how naruto have the uzumaki not namikaze?
That's interesting and very practical..
อติรุจ Yes but at the same time it's still so uncommon and there are men there who are met with difficulties from society when they take their wife's name (there was such a case with Japanese businessman losing his credibility last year)
But... what are last names?
*Vsauce theme plays*
ITS YOU AGAIN!!!!
Justin Y. Plz reply to my comment
IM EARLY ON A JUSTIN Y
I was thinking why do we have last names
This is not ploapur
*Matrilineal marriage names:* Am I a joke to you?
Not as big a joke as scabbled marriage names
They save Kingdoms. At least in CKII.
(A Minang person is writing....)