In the case of the thumbnail, yes, Jones is a more interesting name, so that's all good. My dad's last name is Smith, so I wanna marry someone to get my last name changed so I'm not just straight-up ditching my family because Smith is a boring name. In my mind: more interesting names get priority if you don't live in a place where that's stigmatized :)
As a Brazilian, we take the names from both parents 1st last name comes from mother's last last name (that comes from her father) 2nd last name comes from the father's last last name. Example Mary Jones Smith marries John Ford Peterson Mary takes the last from the husband, becoming Mary Jones Smith Peterson. Kids get their mom's last names, becoming Joseph Smith Peterson
Ummm... It's not standardized at ALL in Brazil. There are many ways people give their children a last name here, the one you listed is just one a of many.
Same for Spanish; 'twas their way to differentiate between two Juan Pérez, Juan Pérez (Galleguillos) & Juan Pérez (Sánchez), and later the second name.
You can always use the mother’s name as a maiden name which was done a lot throughout history. This can also give the child connection to both sides of the family.
If that were true, the whole world would know that my mother's family is Sicilian. But since most of us look like blond Anglo-Saxons due to Celtic and Germanic admixture, I use my very English middle name as my surname in my nom de plume as a writer of fiction.
Both myself and my brother have our mom’s last name as our middle name, and our dad’s as our last name. I’m definitely glad they did it that way rather than double barreling, as in that case it would be ridiculously long. I’ve never met anyone else who’s parents did this, at least that I’m aware of. I think it’s a great solution to the issue of passing down names, though!
@@madnessarcade7447what effects you doesn't mean most people. Am not aware of any muslim culture where the wife takes the husbands name. In somali we have "abtiris" meaning father counting. A person's full name is name, fathers name, grandfather's name. If they're famous enough or meet certain criteria they take the clan's name (like my grandfather who was a famous sheikh). The woman never takes the husbands name as she's not descendants of his family. Idk how it is in your culture or where you live but what I know is names passed on paternally.
A friend of mine took his wife's last name as he had no emotional connection to his birth last name. He doesn't talk to his father. His wife also doesn't have any brothers so he wanted that name line to continue rather than his birth last name.
For heterosexual relationships (in the western world) I think another reason for a woman taking the man’s last name and/or giving children the man’s last name could be to ensure paternity. Obviously, mothers do most of the work in creating a life, and most of the time it’s unquestionably her child. Whereas a man wouldn’t be 100% sure unless there was a DNA test. Before a DNA test, people relied on both partners respecting the sanctity of marriage. Naming the child with the husband’s last name would “ensure” it’s his child. As our culture shifts secularly, marriage isn’t as binding as it used to be, so blended families and single parent families are more common, making traditional naming conventions confusing at times. Personally, I don’t care what people do and it’s exciting to be seeing a shift in naming conventions in real time!
Kind of. The reality is it didn't convey explicit legal protection against being disowned and conversely it was entirely possible, especially if one was not a noble, to just name some random person their heir, in fact adult adoption used to (and in some countries still is) a practice for precisely that reason. The reality is that a lot of societies even now value patrilineal ancestry over matrilineal ancestry due to a mix of cultural norms and inheritance laws. A lot of cultures even traditionally used a naming scheme along the lines of "X son/daughter of Y" prior to the introduction of surnames, particularly across Eurasia and Northern Europe.
It's all fun and games until everything reverts to amazonian tribal tier because no one wants to invest in other men's children. By the way, it's not "heterosexual relationsihps", it's called "normal couples", and before you cry, I'm gay.
Someone I know had a boat load of girls because the dad wanted a son to pass his name on. When I mentioned to a common friend between the two that "Girls can keep their names and pass them on just like boys" I got the deer in the headlights look.
LOL. If it were very important to me to pass my last name on to future generations, there's no way I would sit back and rely on any daughter to do it, as they would be very unlikely to do so. @@angelazsz
In Quebec, parents can choose either of their family names for their child, as well as create a compound one by merging their family names with an hyphen betwen them (ex: Smith & Cook = Smith-Cook or Cook-Smith). If the parents already have compound family names themselves, they can only select a single part. This prevent getting more than two merged together. One other peculiar thing to note also for Quebec: Since 1981 spouses are actually *forbidden* to take on the other's family name after marriage (applies for both husband and wife, gender doesn't matter). You can do it "unofficially" in your day-to-day life, but for any Civil/Legal matters (signing contracts, governmental forms, etc) you *must* use the surname you were given at birth
I think the logical thing to do is to give to the child the family name that is the least common among those of their parents. There are many family names that are becoming extinct due to some families having only female children. This process is inevitable and can only worsen through time. If we don't do something eventually people will end up having all the same family name.
I have my dad's last name, while my maternal half-brothers have our mother's last name. My mom even told me that my dad said it didn't matter what my given name was as long as I had his last name and I don't mind it, meanwhile my one of my half brothers was glad to have our mother's last name since not only did he hate his father's last name but also because his father barely did anything for him growing up.
Yeah, I regret giving my kids their bio father's name bc he's never been present in their lives, but my kids identify with the name so it'll stay that way.
I like the idea of people taking the name of their occupation. "Hello, my name is Jeremy Hedge-Fund-Manager" or "Hi, I'm Lucy Histologist". Patrick Vlogger?
In Dutch a lot of last names also came from the town they were from. Like "Hi I'm Clarice from Houten", or "Hi I'm Vincent from Gogh". Occupations are also a common origin: Jan de Boer means John the Farmer
Norwegian here and it's quite common here to take on both parents' last names, but as a parent you have to choose which of your parent's last name you want to live on and which you want to keep once you marry someone as then it's typical to keep one of your previous last names and one from your partner. The last name you kept used to be your father's last name or which name was more famous, but I think people choose more what they want now. As you become an adult you might only choose to have one of your last names on profiles and at work, but you will still have two last names on your passport. Of course many people still only have one last name at a time.
Wait, doesn't Norwegian law only let you have 1 surname (Or two if they're hyphenated together), But as many middle names as you want, Which can only be the same things as surnames?
@@SiSi-ju1xk You're doing the same thing, it should be up to the family themselves which name they want. It shouldn't always be the dad's name or the mother's name, it should be what they want or what they feel best suits them.
My partner and I had our baby in 2022. (I'm her mom) We gave her a hyphenated last name with both of our last names. I come from a really unique cultural and linguistic background with detailed naming traditions and she is my only child at 39 years old. I am the only child with my fathers last name as his only biological child. Our daughter is the only grandchild on my side of the family. I didn't want my last name to dissappear.
A child should get both the parent's last names...or it can be like the girl child gets the father's and the boy child gets the mother's...girls should also carry on their legacy...and i have met many men who question the traditional system..god bless them beacuse most men don't!
What about the child taking the last name of the parent who is the same gender as them, so that sons take their father's last name and daughters take their mother's last name?
I have both my mother’s and father’s last names, which is common in Latino culture, but when I have children, I plan on passing on my mom’s last name, as well as my future partner’s last name
I'm Brazilian and I have both my mom's and my dad's last name. It's pretty common here to get both and most people have two or even three last names. I didn't know this wasn't the rule in most parts of the world
My kids have my wife’s name. It causes confusion. People think my wife is my girlfriend or that I have my wife’s name. I didn’t want my kids to have my name because my bio father left me as an infant so fuck that name.
When I get married, I am planning on my partner and I giving ourselves a new last name. Not mine. Not theirs. A unified new name. I will probably get married to a guy, and we’d be straight-passing couple, but still. I’d make a whole new name, a mixed name (like ‘ship’ names), or hyphenated (their name - my name). But I like a whole new name the most. So, it’s obvious. The baby would have the same last name as both of us. A new name.
When my parents got married, My dad only agreed to let my mom take his last name if he could take hers as well, And they then passed both on to me and my brothers too. Well technically they gave us our mother's name as a second middle name rather than a surname, Presumably just because it was less bureaucracy or something, But I would like to change it so they're both my legal surnames if possible.
My partner and I decided that we weren't going to get married unless it was going to be easier than writing a will. (You can get married for less than £200 and you don't need a ring, or vows, or any of that nonsense). But if we were to get married, no one's name would change. If we had a child, they'd take hers. My name is Johnson and hers is Marshall. Marshall is cooler.
French musical duo Les Rita Mitsouko (Catherine Ringer and Fred Chichin) never married and had three children. The daughters were given their mother's surname (Ringer) and their son was given the father's surname (Chichin).
When I have kids of my own, they're going to have the Downey surname. Full stop. I can understand children having the mother's surname if the father's surname is a very common one, like Smith, or Jones. But the Downey surname is quite rare, even in Ireland. It's rare enough to justify my kids having it.
It's really bad when the parents aren't even married and people expect the kid to have the father's name. I've heard mothers ask what to do in that situation.
I always found it weird, since in Venezuela, the wife keeps her last name but adds her husbands’ with a “de” (which means of.. kinda possessive but at least they keep both) And the children has both last names Name - Dad’s last name - Mom’s last name
I’m from a country, where last names are treated more as a nickname rather then family names, and yeah I think it’s safe to say, I was surprised when I found out a lot people in the same family have the same last name
I was thinking about having my kids choose between the dads or moms last name. I want the family to be recognized, so they won't be confused to have lost track of time.
In Chinese culture, women don’t typically take their husbands last name, but their children do. In Hispanic cultures, women don’t typically change their name as well, but they inherit both their mom and dad’s last names as well as the children
My grandparents started a tradition in my family of adopting the wife's maiden name as a middle name. So in the example they would become Mary Smith Jones and Robert Smith Jones. Then their son would be Benjamin Smith Jones. Similar to double barrelled names except it doesn't result in exponentially longer names over time.
Update: Pediatrician thought my wife and I were not married because of the last name of the baby. Looking forward to the next awkward situation because of the last name.
@@natural3362 so far it has been ok, people seemed to ether understand or don’t make comments on our face. O though there was one time at daycare that one lady looked at us very confused about the fact that my wife and baby didn’t have my last name. My sister made a comment not so long ago insinuating that I was forced to use my wife last name. Obviously that’s not true, but I don’t think she will change her mind. We also discovered that for some reason the pediatrician had my wife listed with my last name, don’t know how considering that my kids last name is not mine. Anyway, it will be a never ending battle, it hasn’t been a major problem…yet!
My great-great granddad's father was unknown so he took his mother's surname and that's still my family name today. My big sister often jokingly refers to her household with the portmanteau 'Raveboss' from her and her husband's last name. Meanwhile my little sister went for the "revive an old surname" option for her (heterosexual) marriage.
We should follow the sims 4. The babies there always get their mothers name as default. I don't get how mothers get to carry the baby for 9 months, experience many limitations and hardships because of that pregnancy and traditionally used to take care of the baby but somehow the fathers got to keep all the credits for the baby
In earlier days, the mother was always known by her labour delivery & presence thereafter. The father was not (because he's out providing for the family) so, the last name had to identify the father because you know who the mother is. Also, the man changing his name would show instability which is the opposite of what HE is RESPONSIBLE to provide.
Here in Germany I would say its more common that the baby has the mothers name as long as they are not married. When I was born I had my moms last name, when they got married then we all took my dads name. I only know 1 person that named their child by the fathers last name, the rest take their mothers name🤷🏼♀️
In my culture, nobody takes names. Parents and siblings each have their own unique names. So I find people arguing about name taking odd. Its not like we are no longer a family even if our name are all completely different. Dad is still dad, mom is still mom and so does my bro and sis. I dont get it.
We think about lines of sovereigns via the fathers name, hence we say Queen Anne was the last of the Stuarts because we ignored the fact that George I was the great grandson of James I but via the daughter of James I and then the grand daughter of James I. So we ignore the fact that he acceded to the throne because he "was" a Stuarts but via the female line.
My sister-in-law has two kids with who she allowed to take on her husband's uncle's last name because of how much of a father figure he was to her husband.
Wow how rare, an anglo making baseless assumptions and comparisons to make himself feel better about a culture his not a part of, So humble and knowledgeable.
@@BN.ja05 My grandfather was Mexican, and I grew up in East San Jose. You are making unfounded assumptions. So Mexican immigrants, or Chicanos place women in a better status than Irish, or Germans? Anglo in California usage is describing a disparate group.
You being mexican-american or having mexican descent does not give you permission to make such loose generalizations about a group as diverse as hispanics, your family anecdote is not true for anybody else. PS the Irish and germans are not anglos, the Irish are not even germanic unlike their British neighbours, but they do share a lot culturally with spaniards as they are both traditionally catholic countries.
It just came to me, that the English name Eustace and the German name Justus are pronounced very similar (nearly identical) despite both come from other greek words. Eustace means "the stable", while Justus means "the just". I suggest you speak about that.
In the Filipino naming convention, when I was a kid, it didn't make sense to me that me and my mother adapted my father's surname but my father didn't adapt my mother's surname
Mother’s name makes the most sense, as it is evident the baby is theirs. The father can be proven by DNA tests, otherwise it is assumed (not certain). Long live the Matriarchy!
Italy: Mr. x and Mrs. y have a child named baby x-y, they marry a person with the last name a-b and thus due to laws have a child that must be names baby a-b-x-y so on and so forth. As much as I understand this, this law comes with an expiration date dated a minimum of two or three generations later. My Fiancée wants to take my last name because she is tired of having to write out a hyphenated last name.
Hi, I do respect your videos but when you’re born your biological fathers last name is used and you’re able to change it at 18. Also I’m sorry if I’m misunderstanding the video, have a good day!
In Filipino culture, the child take both the mother and father’s last names. For example, if the child’s name is Jose Garcia Cruz. Garcia is the mother’s last name inherited from the mother’s dad. Cruz is the father’s last name.
This is ultimately rooted in Saint Paul’s analogy of Christ and the church. Christ is the head of the church. The man, for an array of physical social, psychological, and theological reasons is the the temporal head of the family. His spouse represents the church, the body. The head can’t live without the body and the body can’t live without the head. They are equal but different. As the head of the family, the husband is called to lay down his life just like Christ lay down his life. It is not a headship of dominance. When a man properly leads, through sacrifice, the family blossoms. Women more naturally lead in the order of love. From a salvation point of you, love is actually the higher order…so who really has a bad here?
In my country, Uruguay, until very recently, a baby would get their dad's last name, and that was law. However, women retain their last name after marriage, again, by law (this is common in most Spanish speaking countries). Since the legalisation of gay marriage, however, parents can choose which partner's last name the baby will have.
In my country there's no last name. People can have "middle name" to differentiate themselves, but I don't see having an inherited last name as an absolute necessity in this modern age. How do you know if someone is someone's child? Just ask.
I mean legally there needs to be some kind of way to tell two different people apart. For example, if we were without last names then there'd be millions of people called John, and you'd have no way of knowing which John is which.
In Portugal the "tradition" of giving a surname at birth (or at baptism) is rather recent: 1911. Until then, when children were baptised, they were only assigned "given" (or "baptismal") name(s), no surname was added. They would remain surname-less until adulthood/marriage, and only at that point would they adopt a surname (or more), which could be from the father, from the mother, from both (the order being free), from a grandparent... Siblings might adopt different surnames, for whatever reason: e.g. if a Pedro, son of Maria Cruz and João Silva, had an older cousin also named Pedro that was known as Pedro Silva, the younger Pedro could adopt Cruz (Pedro Cruz), to avoid ambiguity. Nowadays, most people have both maternal and paternal surname(s).
As a Mexican, having both your parents name it's not just common, it's a law. It was orinally stablished by Spaniards to all the Spanish empire in the 19th century, and then we kept it even after independization. The practice of the woman taking her husband's last name after marriage always felt... wrong to me, like you are making SOMEONE else, your property. And the thought of just getting one last name maked no sense to me; in Mexico names normally are made up from 3 to 5 words, so it's a bit difficult to met someone with an exactly identical name as your's, therefore, leading to less confusions, but with just one name, and one last name, it's really easy to get confuse (at least in my viewpoint) Sorry for the bad english
My great-great grandpa's last name was originally his mother's, Walker. She got that last name from her mother. His dad's last name was Moses. The two families were in a feud, and my great-great grandpa's parents got into a dispute over his paternity, so his dad (Moses) ran away to Texas and got a girl pregnant with twin girls. When the girls were born, he abandoned them and came back to Tennessee and gave my great-great grandpa his last name, Moses. There were many other messed-up details, but that's basically why my last name is Moses and not Walker. 😃
@CarolineMosesComedy As a genealogist, I'm betting your tree is pretty amazing. The place I've seen similar situations the most is post Civil War Ohio. Guys with 2 or 3 families that don't know about the others. Women who had up to 4 husbands because she'd get a new one, and then he'd die. Wild stuff.
@grayhatjen5924 Thanks. I'm an amateur genealogist and started getting into it a few years ago at age 15. While my family tree has some pretty wild stories, all family trees are interesting in different ways. It's really cool to learn!
I think it's strange that kids don't have both the parents last name or just the mother's instead. My reason is that you know who the mother is 100 percent. The same can't be said for the father.
Isn't baby Hirsch, by getting the mother's surname, actually getting their grandfather's surname? Unless this family practiced giving the mother's last name since the beginning of time, which is unlikely (however unfair),, they would still have passed down on some male ancestor's surname. Even in the Hispanic style, the baby gets both grandfathers' surnames.
I mean if most courts rule that baby goes to mom, you should have the dad’s last name so that they can at least be able to look it up when they’re old enough, because depending on why they’re separated the mom might not even tell the kid what the father’s called
My second great grandfather had his middle name as his mom’s maiden name and I see this probably as the best way to pass down a maiden name if the wife wants to do so in a heterosexual marriage.
I don't know that the exact rules matter so much as a dude consensus on the rules does. If everyone chooses to do it the same way, it makes it much easier for society. That's probably why the systems in place have lasted as long as they have.
It was due to inheritance my guy. Property being passed down from parent to child & staying within the family. Men were the majority of property owners, and in order for inheritance to pass down properly to their next in line, the children would take their fathers last name. Thus, names in the past were given as, "Eric, son of Wilson". Yes, some people would take on crafts as a surname, "Bob the builder" or their towns of birth, "Jesus of Nazareth" but they would also be known by the names of their fathers "Jesus son of Joseph" by those who knew them closely. It was just to distinguish one Philip from another when taking census & to ensure property transferred in a convenient manner from father to children & wasn't disinherited from that family line through marriage. It would suck if the Lanister castle ended up in the hands of the Targaryans due to some silly little marriage.
Not everything was errr patriarchy man bad. That's a terrible lens to view history in. These people had real issues to deal with that your post-modern mind isn't even considering. You up & moving from house/apartment to house/apartment probably means nothing to you, but just under 150 years ago, land ownership was EVERYTHING.
In Finland, children get their mother's name before they are officially named. In the past, the "Christian tradition" has been that after baptism the child takes the father's last name, but nowadays this name rule has been liberalized, which leaves more room for choice and the child can keep the mother's surname. This has also reduced the situation where divorced mothers hate their children because they have their ex's last name.
Well i want to share my idea here : let a man with surname A got married with a women with surname B .... The child be : AB or BA.......... Now the child grew up and got married with a girl with surname XY....... Ok .... Now they had a child again.... So ofc the child cant get the surname like ABXY.... So let it be AX or BX or BY or AY........ And so the process continues..... I think then the argument will come to an end...
That becomes ungodly cumbersome. Just stick to patrilineal and matrilineal, period. Son gets father, daughter gets mother. In the old days often a child would have the mother’s family name as his “middle” name.
This has always been a question on my mind about last names and the tradition behind it. For context I am Mexican so I have two last names. However my dad claims my mom last minute put her last name on my birth certificate (I dont knoe how true that is) so now I have both last names. I don’t mind it but he doesn't like it and claims "it is like another man raised you" and feels betrayed. He is a very traditional guy which I understand. However I don't like the fact that he gets very upset everytime he sees my full legal name on paperwork and goes on a whole rant wanting me to change it although I don’t want to. Anyways just wanted to get that off my chest since I feel alone in that and to get opinions.
Hah never my forefathers fought with Honor to keep my last name safe and visible for others now you want my children to get last name of a whore? And that whores last name was his father's last name so no that can't be
There is another important consideration to make with regard to carrying the father's last name, which is namely genealogy. With DNA becoming such a popular component of genealogical research, having a consistent naming structure is more than helpful with regard to searching for ancestors and validating them via DNA. Indeed, many a "brick wall" has been created by ancestors who had arbitrarily changed their last names or changes in spelling, which happened for various reasons, not the least of which was rampant illiteracy. The system of taking the father's last name has proven to be essential for tracing family lineage since the time of the Norman Invasion.
I was born to an alcoholic druggie abusive woman who had 10 kids and didnt know who the father of any of them was and she kept getting her kids taken out if her custody before they turned 4 months old cuz she kept trying to kill all of us cuz she didnt want us so all of us had to keep her last name cuz she didnt know which giy was the father nof any of her kids cuz she was only with a guy fir less then a few months and move on when she couldn't get any drinks or drugs s*x from them anymore so sye would move on to the next giy who would give her what she wanted. she didnt care about any of her kids, she neglected us starved us beat us burned us broke our bones and just didnt want us. Why she kept getting pregnant and carrying to full term and birthing all 10 kids and not even wanting to take care of us i have no idea why. Who the hell does that, has that many kids, physically grows them for 9 months, go thu labor amd child birth but not give a single dn about us or even want us.....if you honestly didnt want kids then why keep getting pregnant and birthing them. It just pisses me off so much that she would treat us the way she did. And it's something that i dont lnow how to move past, im almost 30 years old now and i still cant wrap my head around why she would do what she did and it angers me beyond belief.
Awww... My heart actually breaks when I reach the half point of this comment... And I didn't want to continue reading but I have no choice! May God give you a mother that will treat you the best, even if she's the mother of your future husband... 🥺
Do you think kids should be given their dad's last name?
In the case of the thumbnail, yes, Jones is a more interesting name, so that's all good. My dad's last name is Smith, so I wanna marry someone to get my last name changed so I'm not just straight-up ditching my family because Smith is a boring name. In my mind: more interesting names get priority if you don't live in a place where that's stigmatized :)
yes
Yes. Why not?
That's how it's always been since time immemorial.
@arnulfo267 that's a pretty white centered perspective on the whole topic but ok
@@gollossalkittydoesn’t Japan also do it the same way and I don’t think the Japanese are white
As a Brazilian, we take the names from both parents
1st last name comes from mother's last last name (that comes from her father)
2nd last name comes from the father's last last name.
Example
Mary Jones Smith marries John Ford Peterson
Mary takes the last from the husband, becoming Mary Jones Smith Peterson.
Kids get their mom's last names, becoming
Joseph Smith Peterson
It works this way in Denmark as well!
Ummm... It's not standardized at ALL in Brazil. There are many ways people give their children a last name here, the one you listed is just one a of many.
That is not how it works here in Minas Gerais tho...
Same for Spanish; 'twas their way to differentiate between two Juan Pérez, Juan Pérez (Galleguillos) & Juan Pérez (Sánchez), and later the second name.
Mary was an ungrateful Daughter
You can always use the mother’s name as a maiden name which was done a lot throughout history. This can also give the child connection to both sides of the family.
Funny scenario: both you and your GF have both the fathers and mothers names and then have to decide what to pick
Do you mean as a middle name? I've seen that a lot in genealogical research.
@@frankhooper7871 Yeah, I've seen a lot of maiden names used as middle names.
That's exactly how it works in Portugal and Brazil
If that were true, the whole world would know that my mother's family is Sicilian. But since most of us look like blond Anglo-Saxons due to Celtic and Germanic admixture, I use my very English middle name as my surname in my nom de plume as a writer of fiction.
Both myself and my brother have our mom’s last name as our middle name, and our dad’s as our last name. I’m definitely glad they did it that way rather than double barreling, as in that case it would be ridiculously long. I’ve never met anyone else who’s parents did this, at least that I’m aware of. I think it’s a great solution to the issue of passing down names, though!
Quite common historically - lots of instances in my family tree.
I have some friends who have this. I think it's even common practice in the Philippines to name your child that way.
It would be so much fun, though, like if Roseanne Barr and Russell Crowe got married, their kids last name could be Crowe-Barr.
@@TrainsFerriesFeet
Okay this is too good. Can I use this for a character? I love it.
@@-alovelygaycat- It's a good party game - think of funny hyphenated names and silly drag names.
Generally in Islamic culture women don’t take their husbands last name but children do.
true
And that the parents' nickname is only after their MALE firstborn (Mainly among Arabs, but not only).
What are you talking about women in Islam take their husband’s last names all the time
My mom did it and so do most
@@madnessarcade7447 my mother didnt
@@madnessarcade7447what effects you doesn't mean most people. Am not aware of any muslim culture where the wife takes the husbands name. In somali we have "abtiris" meaning father counting. A person's full name is name, fathers name, grandfather's name. If they're famous enough or meet certain criteria they take the clan's name (like my grandfather who was a famous sheikh). The woman never takes the husbands name as she's not descendants of his family. Idk how it is in your culture or where you live but what I know is names passed on paternally.
“Tradition is just peer pressure from dead people.” Now I need that on a t-shirt!
Traditions are the answers to questions and problems we're not suffering because the dead people came with the solution.
Yeah.
I would buy it.
A friend of mine took his wife's last name as he had no emotional connection to his birth last name. He doesn't talk to his father. His wife also doesn't have any brothers so he wanted that name line to continue rather than his birth last name.
For heterosexual relationships (in the western world) I think another reason for a woman taking the man’s last name and/or giving children the man’s last name could be to ensure paternity. Obviously, mothers do most of the work in creating a life, and most of the time it’s unquestionably her child. Whereas a man wouldn’t be 100% sure unless there was a DNA test. Before a DNA test, people relied on both partners respecting the sanctity of marriage. Naming the child with the husband’s last name would “ensure” it’s his child.
As our culture shifts secularly, marriage isn’t as binding as it used to be, so blended families and single parent families are more common, making traditional naming conventions confusing at times.
Personally, I don’t care what people do and it’s exciting to be seeing a shift in naming conventions in real time!
Kind of. The reality is it didn't convey explicit legal protection against being disowned and conversely it was entirely possible, especially if one was not a noble, to just name some random person their heir, in fact adult adoption used to (and in some countries still is) a practice for precisely that reason. The reality is that a lot of societies even now value patrilineal ancestry over matrilineal ancestry due to a mix of cultural norms and inheritance laws. A lot of cultures even traditionally used a naming scheme along the lines of "X son/daughter of Y" prior to the introduction of surnames, particularly across Eurasia and Northern Europe.
It's all fun and games until everything reverts to amazonian tribal tier because no one wants to invest in other men's children. By the way, it's not "heterosexual relationsihps", it's called "normal couples", and before you cry, I'm gay.
Someone I know had a boat load of girls because the dad wanted a son to pass his name on. When I mentioned to a common friend between the two that "Girls can keep their names and pass them on just like boys" I got the deer in the headlights look.
boom! absolutely
They can but generally don’t
They legally can, but are statistically very unlikely to do so.
LOL. If it were very important to me to pass my last name on to future generations, there's no way I would sit back and rely on any daughter to do it, as they would be very unlikely to do so. @@angelazsz
i hate being a girl
In Quebec, parents can choose either of their family names for their child, as well as create a compound one by merging their family names with an hyphen betwen them (ex: Smith & Cook = Smith-Cook or Cook-Smith). If the parents already have compound family names themselves, they can only select a single part. This prevent getting more than two merged together.
One other peculiar thing to note also for Quebec: Since 1981 spouses are actually *forbidden* to take on the other's family name after marriage (applies for both husband and wife, gender doesn't matter). You can do it "unofficially" in your day-to-day life, but for any Civil/Legal matters (signing contracts, governmental forms, etc) you *must* use the surname you were given at birth
I think the logical thing to do is to give to the child the family name that is the least common among those of their parents. There are many family names that are becoming extinct due to some families having only female children. This process is inevitable and can only worsen through time. If we don't do something eventually people will end up having all the same family name.
In my Indian state of Meghalaya, we, the Khasi, Garo and Jaiñtia communities take our mothers' names.
I have my dad's last name, while my maternal half-brothers have our mother's last name. My mom even told me that my dad said it didn't matter what my given name was as long as I had his last name and I don't mind it, meanwhile my one of my half brothers was glad to have our mother's last name since not only did he hate his father's last name but also because his father barely did anything for him growing up.
Yeah, I regret giving my kids their bio father's name bc he's never been present in their lives, but my kids identify with the name so it'll stay that way.
And I was just feeling bad how I don’t have my dads last name but you help me open my eyes cause he’s never been in my life
I like the idea of people taking the name of their occupation. "Hello, my name is Jeremy Hedge-Fund-Manager" or "Hi, I'm Lucy Histologist". Patrick Vlogger?
In Dutch a lot of last names also came from the town they were from. Like "Hi I'm Clarice from Houten", or "Hi I'm Vincent from Gogh".
Occupations are also a common origin:
Jan de Boer means John the Farmer
The naming tradition in Iceland is definitely "unique," though I wouldn't call it "strange" on risk of sounding offensive.
Norwegian here and it's quite common here to take on both parents' last names, but as a parent you have to choose which of your parent's last name you want to live on and which you want to keep once you marry someone as then it's typical to keep one of your previous last names and one from your partner. The last name you kept used to be your father's last name or which name was more famous, but I think people choose more what they want now.
As you become an adult you might only choose to have one of your last names on profiles and at work, but you will still have two last names on your passport. Of course many people still only have one last name at a time.
Wait, doesn't Norwegian law only let you have 1 surname (Or two if they're hyphenated together), But as many middle names as you want, Which can only be the same things as surnames?
As per usual, Scandinavia is among the top-tier options.
It’s good for the family to have one last name. It makes the family a more obvious and clear unit.
Agreed. And it should be the mother's name
@@SiSi-ju1xk You're doing the same thing, it should be up to the family themselves which name they want.
It shouldn't always be the dad's name or the mother's name, it should be what they want or what they feel best suits them.
@@SiSi-ju1xkit should be a new unique surname
My partner and I had our baby in 2022. (I'm her mom) We gave her a hyphenated last name with both of our last names. I come from a really unique cultural and linguistic background with detailed naming traditions and she is my only child at 39 years old. I am the only child with my fathers last name as his only biological child. Our daughter is the only grandchild on my side of the family. I didn't want my last name to dissappear.
Because human societies tend to be patriarchal?
Fair enough
This ^^^
neolithic revolution..
No need to fix what's not broken.
A child should get both the parent's last names...or it can be like the girl child gets the father's and the boy child gets the mother's...girls should also carry on their legacy...and i have met many men who question the traditional system..god bless them beacuse most men don't!
What about the child taking the last name of the parent who is the same gender as them, so that sons take their father's last name and daughters take their mother's last name?
I have both my mother’s and father’s last names, which is common in Latino culture, but when I have children, I plan on passing on my mom’s last name, as well as my future partner’s last name
I'm Brazilian and I have both my mom's and my dad's last name. It's pretty common here to get both and most people have two or even three last names. I didn't know this wasn't the rule in most parts of the world
My kids have my wife’s name. It causes confusion. People think my wife is my girlfriend or that I have my wife’s name. I didn’t want my kids to have my name because my bio father left me as an infant so fuck that name.
You might want to consider changing your own last name to that of your wife.
@@alidaweber1023why?to be a disgrace to his name?
Nice to know that ur children took their mother's name
Sounds weak!
@@SleepyNeoSay that to his father! He left him as an infant and he doesn't deserve to meet his grandchildren at all!
When I get married, I am planning on my partner and I giving ourselves a new last name. Not mine. Not theirs. A unified new name.
I will probably get married to a guy, and we’d be straight-passing couple, but still.
I’d make a whole new name, a mixed name (like ‘ship’ names), or hyphenated (their name - my name). But I like a whole new name the most.
So, it’s obvious. The baby would have the same last name as both of us. A new name.
When my parents got married, My dad only agreed to let my mom take his last name if he could take hers as well, And they then passed both on to me and my brothers too. Well technically they gave us our mother's name as a second middle name rather than a surname, Presumably just because it was less bureaucracy or something, But I would like to change it so they're both my legal surnames if possible.
My partner and I decided that we weren't going to get married unless it was going to be easier than writing a will. (You can get married for less than £200 and you don't need a ring, or vows, or any of that nonsense). But if we were to get married, no one's name would change.
If we had a child, they'd take hers. My name is Johnson and hers is Marshall. Marshall is cooler.
Marshall does sound cooler
French musical duo Les Rita Mitsouko (Catherine Ringer and Fred Chichin) never married and had three children. The daughters were given their mother's surname (Ringer) and their son was given the father's surname (Chichin).
When I have kids of my own, they're going to have the Downey surname. Full stop.
I can understand children having the mother's surname if the father's surname is a very common one, like Smith, or Jones. But the Downey surname is quite rare, even in Ireland.
It's rare enough to justify my kids having it.
My only critique is your view on tradition. To quote a famous saying: "Tradition isn't the worship of ashes. But rather the keeping of fire."
It's really bad when the parents aren't even married and people expect the kid to have the father's name. I've heard mothers ask what to do in that situation.
As usual, the man has to take all the blame for refusing to marry the woman! He would be called "irresponsible" for this reason alone!
Thank you for making this video..and raising this question...we need more such videos!
I absolutely love how often you post. Always great content
I always found it weird, since in Venezuela, the wife keeps her last name but adds her husbands’ with a “de” (which means of.. kinda possessive but at least they keep both)
And the children has both last names
Name - Dad’s last name - Mom’s last name
Name Explain saying “do names even matter?” was not on my 2023 bingo card
I’m from a country, where last names are treated more as a nickname rather then family names, and yeah I think it’s safe to say, I was surprised when I found out a lot people in the same family have the same last name
I was thinking about having my kids choose between the dads or moms last name. I want the family to be recognized, so they won't be confused to have lost track of time.
I do actually have my moms last name. And then I have my dads middle name as my middle name
In Chinese culture, women don’t typically take their husbands last name, but their children do. In Hispanic cultures, women don’t typically change their name as well, but they inherit both their mom and dad’s last names as well as the children
Also in Chinese culture, women changing their last name was typically seen as a bad thing since it indicated a bad relationship with their father
In Mexican culture women do take the man’s last name. I don’t know about Asians that’s your peoples thing don’t suppose my culture puto!
@@gilbertflores6218Their name is Paulina and you think they are ASIAN? Are you fucking dense pendejo??
@@paulinaruiz928I don’t have any Chinese friends that practice what you just wrote… oh well 😅
My grandparents started a tradition in my family of adopting the wife's maiden name as a middle name. So in the example they would become Mary Smith Jones and Robert Smith Jones. Then their son would be Benjamin Smith Jones.
Similar to double barrelled names except it doesn't result in exponentially longer names over time.
In my family sons take Dads name, daughters take Moms name. Not as sexist as the traditional system
“Tradition is just peer pressure from dead people" oh my gosh I love this; filing that one away for sure.
My son’s last name is my wife’s last name. So far we haven’t had a problem, however people do find it strange.
Update: Pediatrician thought my wife and I were not married because of the last name of the baby. Looking forward to the next awkward situation because of the last name.
@@HHarolddon't be afraid. You're brave enough and fight for what you think you have
@@natural3362 so far it has been ok, people seemed to ether understand or don’t make comments on our face. O though there was one time at daycare that one lady looked at us very confused about the fact that my wife and baby didn’t have my last name. My sister made a comment not so long ago insinuating that I was forced to use my wife last name. Obviously that’s not true, but I don’t think she will change her mind. We also discovered that for some reason the pediatrician had my wife listed with my last name, don’t know how considering that my kids last name is not mine. Anyway, it will be a never ending battle, it hasn’t been a major problem…yet!
"YOU OWN HER, RIGHT? OF COURSE SHE HAS TO TAKE YOUR LAST NAME!" - Society
My great-great granddad's father was unknown so he took his mother's surname and that's still my family name today.
My big sister often jokingly refers to her household with the portmanteau 'Raveboss' from her and her husband's last name.
Meanwhile my little sister went for the "revive an old surname" option for her (heterosexual) marriage.
We should follow the sims 4. The babies there always get their mothers name as default. I don't get how mothers get to carry the baby for 9 months, experience many limitations and hardships because of that pregnancy and traditionally used to take care of the baby but somehow the fathers got to keep all the credits for the baby
Also there is no doubt wether or not its the mom's kid!
Just makes sense.
I never thought about this because it just isn't true for my environment. The majority of people I know have their mothers name
In earlier days, the mother was always known by her labour delivery & presence thereafter. The father was not (because he's out providing for the family) so, the last name had to identify the father because you know who the mother is. Also, the man changing his name would show instability which is the opposite of what HE is RESPONSIBLE to provide.
In Brazil we take both parents surname,but still patriarchal since it’s always the grandfathers surname
Here in Germany I would say its more common that the baby has the mothers name as long as they are not married. When I was born I had my moms last name, when they got married then we all took my dads name.
I only know 1 person that named their child by the fathers last name, the rest take their mothers name🤷🏼♀️
In my culture, nobody takes names. Parents and siblings each have their own unique names. So I find people arguing about name taking odd. Its not like we are no longer a family even if our name are all completely different. Dad is still dad, mom is still mom and so does my bro and sis. I dont get it.
Meanwhile:
The Akan who gave their children surnames named after relatives and close friends to signify their close ties: 🗿
I want to make a unique name surname when get married. Each married couple should have unique surname
Actually there no laws about father last names being officially documented. Those’re just assumptions by the workers.
We think about lines of sovereigns via the fathers name, hence we say Queen Anne was the last of the Stuarts because we ignored the fact that George I was the great grandson of James I but via the daughter of James I and then the grand daughter of James I. So we ignore the fact that he acceded to the throne because he "was" a Stuarts but via the female line.
i prefer the "dad's last name" but
all respect for who support mother's last name too
In Brazil we usually take the last names from both. More specifically, we take both of our grandfather's last names.
My sister-in-law has two kids with who she allowed to take on her husband's uncle's last name because of how much of a father figure he was to her husband.
I prefer my mum's last name over my dad's. If it weren't such a pain to change it legally, I would absolutely switch.
While I think the formal Spanish naming convention is more fair to both parents, Spanish culture is definitely less feminist than the English.
I definitely agree
Which is really saying something considering...ALL of English history...
Wow how rare, an anglo making baseless assumptions and comparisons to make himself feel better about a culture his not a part of, So humble and knowledgeable.
@@BN.ja05 My grandfather was Mexican, and I grew up in East San Jose. You are making unfounded assumptions. So Mexican immigrants, or Chicanos place women in a better status than Irish, or Germans? Anglo in California usage is describing a disparate group.
You being mexican-american or having mexican descent does not give you permission to make such loose generalizations about a group as diverse as hispanics, your family anecdote is not true for anybody else. PS the Irish and germans are not anglos, the Irish are not even germanic unlike their British neighbours, but they do share a lot culturally with spaniards as they are both traditionally catholic countries.
It just came to me, that the English name Eustace and the German name Justus are pronounced very similar (nearly identical) despite both come from other greek words. Eustace means "the stable", while Justus means "the just".
I suggest you speak about that.
@halfeye9382 That is a trick I started using in genealogy long time ago. Same thing as you; it just hit me one day.
In the Filipino naming convention, when I was a kid, it didn't make sense to me that me and my mother adapted my father's surname but my father didn't adapt my mother's surname
Mother’s name makes the most sense, as it is evident the baby is theirs. The father can be proven by DNA tests, otherwise it is assumed (not certain). Long live the Matriarchy!
I know, but if a woman has babies with too many men... *SHE BELONGS TO THE STREETS!*
Italy: Mr. x and Mrs. y have a child named baby x-y, they marry a person with the last name a-b and thus due to laws have a child that must be names baby a-b-x-y so on and so forth. As much as I understand this, this law comes with an expiration date dated a minimum of two or three generations later. My Fiancée wants to take my last name because she is tired of having to write out a hyphenated last name.
Hi, I do respect your videos but when you’re born your biological fathers last name is used and you’re able to change it at 18. Also I’m sorry if I’m misunderstanding the video, have a good day!
In Filipino culture, the child take both the mother and father’s last names. For example, if the child’s name is Jose Garcia Cruz. Garcia is the mother’s last name inherited from the mother’s dad. Cruz is the father’s last name.
I prefer this way...
My wife did not take on my name when we got married, but our kid has my name. It was never discussed or questioned.
Maybe we should like many of the natives and name the child after they are born so we can know their personalities and which name fits the best
Brazil, Portugal, and other Portuguese-colonized countries also give children both parents' last names.
This is ultimately rooted in Saint Paul’s analogy of Christ and the church. Christ is the head of the church. The man, for an array of physical social, psychological, and theological reasons is the the temporal head of the family. His spouse represents the church, the body. The head can’t live without the body and the body can’t live without the head. They are equal but different.
As the head of the family, the husband is called to lay down his life just like Christ lay down his life. It is not a headship of dominance. When a man properly leads, through sacrifice, the family blossoms.
Women more naturally lead in the order of love. From a salvation point of you, love is actually the higher order…so who really has a bad here?
my parents just gave me a double barreled name... the easy solution to have both family names...
In my country, Uruguay, until very recently, a baby would get their dad's last name, and that was law. However, women retain their last name after marriage, again, by law (this is common in most Spanish speaking countries). Since the legalisation of gay marriage, however, parents can choose which partner's last name the baby will have.
¿No se usan apellidos en Uruguay? ¿Sólo el apellido paterno?
In my country there's no last name. People can have "middle name" to differentiate themselves, but I don't see having an inherited last name as an absolute necessity in this modern age. How do you know if someone is someone's child? Just ask.
I mean legally there needs to be some kind of way to tell two different people apart.
For example, if we were without last names then there'd be millions of people called John, and you'd have no way of knowing which John is which.
In Portugal the "tradition" of giving a surname at birth (or at baptism) is rather recent: 1911. Until then, when children were baptised, they were only assigned "given" (or "baptismal") name(s), no surname was added. They would remain surname-less until adulthood/marriage, and only at that point would they adopt a surname (or more), which could be from the father, from the mother, from both (the order being free), from a grandparent...
Siblings might adopt different surnames, for whatever reason: e.g. if a Pedro, son of Maria Cruz and João Silva, had an older cousin also named Pedro that was known as Pedro Silva, the younger Pedro could adopt Cruz (Pedro Cruz), to avoid ambiguity.
Nowadays, most people have both maternal and paternal surname(s).
This further proves my theory that traditions are not laws unless you’re royalty.
As a Mexican, having both your parents name it's not just common, it's a law. It was orinally stablished by Spaniards to all the Spanish empire in the 19th century, and then we kept it even after independization.
The practice of the woman taking her husband's last name after marriage always felt... wrong to me, like you are making SOMEONE else, your property. And the thought of just getting one last name maked no sense to me; in Mexico names normally are made up from 3 to 5 words, so it's a bit difficult to met someone with an exactly identical name as your's, therefore, leading to less confusions, but with just one name, and one last name, it's really easy to get confuse (at least in my viewpoint)
Sorry for the bad english
Something that is never uncertain is who the mother is why not have the mother's last name.
My great-great grandpa's last name was originally his mother's, Walker. She got that last name from her mother. His dad's last name was Moses. The two families were in a feud, and my great-great grandpa's parents got into a dispute over his paternity, so his dad (Moses) ran away to Texas and got a girl pregnant with twin girls. When the girls were born, he abandoned them and came back to Tennessee and gave my great-great grandpa his last name, Moses. There were many other messed-up details, but that's basically why my last name is Moses and not Walker. 😃
@CarolineMosesComedy As a genealogist, I'm betting your tree is pretty amazing. The place I've seen similar situations the most is post Civil War Ohio. Guys with 2 or 3 families that don't know about the others. Women who had up to 4 husbands because she'd get a new one, and then he'd die. Wild stuff.
@grayhatjen5924 Thanks. I'm an amateur genealogist and started getting into it a few years ago at age 15. While my family tree has some pretty wild stories, all family trees are interesting in different ways. It's really cool to learn!
@@CarolineMosesComedy My last name would've been walker as well but my grandma insisted on my dad having her last name when he was born
I've always wondered this, thought it was a weird rule as a kid. I still do.
There is a crucial matter regarding in surnames: sucession and inheritance. It is a basic topic in Civil Law.
Rebellion against this tradition would support feminism, too.
Here’s the solution to this problem: both parents keep their last name, sons get the dad’s last name and daughters get the mom’s last name
I think it's strange that kids don't have both the parents last name or just the mother's instead. My reason is that you know who the mother is 100 percent. The same can't be said for the father.
Well, this might sound strange, but I have my mother’s last name.
Were your parents married?
that is great
I have both. But use my dad's out of convenience. Some countries I know to give child the mother's last name if the couple is not married.
Salute to those countries, because they do it to deter unmarried, irresponsible fathers from destroying their children's lives!
can you pray to god so we wont have names please
I have both last names of my mother’s and Father’s last name, because I have the Spanish tradition of having two last names.
One example of when the mother's last name is used, by the way, is if the kid is born out of wedlock.
This shows that marriage is the key to responsibility! If a man doesn't want to marry his girlfriend, he's not ready to take responsibility!
Isn't baby Hirsch, by getting the mother's surname, actually getting their grandfather's surname? Unless this family practiced giving the mother's last name since the beginning of time, which is unlikely (however unfair),, they would still have passed down on some male ancestor's surname. Even in the Hispanic style, the baby gets both grandfathers' surnames.
I mean if most courts rule that baby goes to mom, you should have the dad’s last name so that they can at least be able to look it up when they’re old enough, because depending on why they’re separated the mom might not even tell the kid what the father’s called
I agree.. the men just remarry.. better not to divorce a father .. he would move on and the woman stuck with children
My second great grandfather had his middle name as his mom’s maiden name and I see this probably as the best way to pass down a maiden name if the wife wants to do so in a heterosexual marriage.
I don't know that the exact rules matter so much as a dude consensus on the rules does. If everyone chooses to do it the same way, it makes it much easier for society. That's probably why the systems in place have lasted as long as they have.
It was due to inheritance my guy. Property being passed down from parent to child & staying within the family. Men were the majority of property owners, and in order for inheritance to pass down properly to their next in line, the children would take their fathers last name. Thus, names in the past were given as, "Eric, son of Wilson".
Yes, some people would take on crafts as a surname, "Bob the builder" or their towns of birth, "Jesus of Nazareth" but they would also be known by the names of their fathers "Jesus son of Joseph" by those who knew them closely.
It was just to distinguish one Philip from another when taking census & to ensure property transferred in a convenient manner from father to children & wasn't disinherited from that family line through marriage. It would suck if the Lanister castle ended up in the hands of the Targaryans due to some silly little marriage.
Not everything was errr patriarchy man bad. That's a terrible lens to view history in. These people had real issues to deal with that your post-modern mind isn't even considering. You up & moving from house/apartment to house/apartment probably means nothing to you, but just under 150 years ago, land ownership was EVERYTHING.
Some societies historically formed as patrilineal and patrilocal and some as matrilineal and matrilocal.
love the inexplicably tiny pacific ocean at 0:35
In Finland, children get their mother's name before they are officially named. In the past, the "Christian tradition" has been that after baptism the child takes the father's last name, but nowadays this name rule has been liberalized, which leaves more room for choice and the child can keep the mother's surname. This has also reduced the situation where divorced mothers hate their children because they have their ex's last name.
Women choose poorly and it shows...
Well i want to share my idea here : let a man with surname A got married with a women with surname B .... The child be : AB or BA.......... Now the child grew up and got married with a girl with surname XY....... Ok .... Now they had a child again.... So ofc the child cant get the surname like ABXY.... So let it be AX or BX or BY or AY........ And so the process continues..... I think then the argument will come to an end...
That becomes ungodly cumbersome. Just stick to patrilineal and matrilineal, period. Son gets father, daughter gets mother. In the old days often a child would have the mother’s family name as his “middle” name.
This has always been a question on my mind about last names and the tradition behind it. For context I am Mexican so I have two last names. However my dad claims my mom last minute put her last name on my birth certificate (I dont knoe how true that is) so now I have both last names. I don’t mind it but he doesn't like it and claims "it is like another man raised you" and feels betrayed. He is a very traditional guy which I understand. However I don't like the fact that he gets very upset everytime he sees my full legal name on paperwork and goes on a whole rant wanting me to change it although I don’t want to. Anyways just wanted to get that off my chest since I feel alone in that and to get opinions.
I believe that most people should rebel against that tradition
Hah never my forefathers fought with Honor to keep my last name safe and visible for others now you want my children to get last name of a whore? And that whores last name was his father's last name so no that can't be
There is another important consideration to make with regard to carrying the father's last name, which is namely genealogy. With DNA becoming such a popular component of genealogical research, having a consistent naming structure is more than helpful with regard to searching for ancestors and validating them via DNA. Indeed, many a "brick wall" has been created by ancestors who had arbitrarily changed their last names or changes in spelling, which happened for various reasons, not the least of which was rampant illiteracy. The system of taking the father's last name has proven to be essential for tracing family lineage since the time of the Norman Invasion.
I was born to an alcoholic druggie abusive woman who had 10 kids and didnt know who the father of any of them was and she kept getting her kids taken out if her custody before they turned 4 months old cuz she kept trying to kill all of us cuz she didnt want us so all of us had to keep her last name cuz she didnt know which giy was the father nof any of her kids cuz she was only with a guy fir less then a few months and move on when she couldn't get any drinks or drugs s*x from them anymore so sye would move on to the next giy who would give her what she wanted. she didnt care about any of her kids, she neglected us starved us beat us burned us broke our bones and just didnt want us. Why she kept getting pregnant and carrying to full term and birthing all 10 kids and not even wanting to take care of us i have no idea why. Who the hell does that, has that many kids, physically grows them for 9 months, go thu labor amd child birth but not give a single dn about us or even want us.....if you honestly didnt want kids then why keep getting pregnant and birthing them.
It just pisses me off so much that she would treat us the way she did. And it's something that i dont lnow how to move past, im almost 30 years old now and i still cant wrap my head around why she would do what she did and it angers me beyond belief.
Awww... My heart actually breaks when I reach the half point of this comment... And I didn't want to continue reading but I have no choice! May God give you a mother that will treat you the best, even if she's the mother of your future husband... 🥺