Finally get your family OUT OF YOU & be the true self you were never allowed to be 👇 Access my free training - jerrywise.ewebinar.com/webinar/free-training-10027 ‘Road to Self’ Program: Join 10,000+ people who have transformed their lives! www.jerrywiserelationshipsystems.com/road-to-self
All of them...😢 especially being the fixer and setting boundaries... even today... I'm naturally a giver but have been so unfair to myself, I've always put others' needs first
This is excellent thank you -I missed the funeral of my great grandmother unable to stand up for myself to medical director …so ridiculous it was abuse but I was programmed not to stand up for myself …being a physician didn’t change this still had no ability to stand up for myself
Yes. The over explanation of simple choices. That was one of the first things i noticed about myself that made me realize something really bad had happened to me
I had family members refer to my overexplanations as “spiraling” or in text they’d add “I’m not going read all this. You sound/are acting crazy.” I still feel shamed simply explaining things... or even talking at all around my father’s friends.
OH MY GOSH!!! Over explaining simple decisions is a big one for me. I feel like I have to deliver a PhD thesis when someone asks me anything even the slightest bit personal
Example: I will be taking leave from my military service to visit a friend, and whenever he calls me about it, I immediately dissolve (that’s the word) into explain every detail, reassuring that I don’t want to be a burden, trying to remove some of his anticipation and an endless series of nonsense quite frankly, when he probably just wants to know the plan.
When you're the person in the chronic pain support group who has to have his arm twisted into speaking at all... yep. This video definitely hit hard, as usual.
Im so glad that i discovered your channel. So many things you say match exactly. In my late 40s i am the only one left in the family who takes care of my old mother. This is a very tough situation. Unfortunately my house is only 150meters away from hers and we share a dog whom i love more than anything so we have to see ourselves almost every day. Once i decided to keep the dog for a few days straight and go no contact that long she then went to the police and told them i was held captive in my own house by dangerous violent criminals... This is a nightmare ! I feel like Norman Bates :(
I've experienced some of this, but fortunately have been able to do self discovery and healing. My sister however, is still plagued by much of what you listed. She is a "pleaser" and I dont think she knows her authentic self, it's sad what narc parents do to us. Thank you Mr. Wise. ❤
I was made fun of at a waitressing job …people were making fun of me when they didn’t think they could hear me …I never realized this about myself before then ..
Recession, housing crisis made every child of narcissistic abuse to prolong their suffering during young adulthood, becoming stunted in their development as adults while narcissistic parents continue to abuse you as they kept you trapped in your own image of the abused child. At 18, I was being forced to believe I was retarded because recession made me unemployed and college counselors were playing games with me to try to make me fall behind and miss taking courses. I wanted to work and study so that I could begin to be financially independent but recession hit hard and the mental abuse became worse and at a daily basis until I ended up in a psychiatric hospital. In my 30s, I wasted so much of my 20s and now I am physically sick and medical gaslighting and narcissistic doctors sense me as easy prey so now I am damned for life with health and financial problems while they continue to threaten with a lawsuit. The emotional discard is only possible if you become sick and financially insecure.
I have another one I've observed Jerry. People are often too grateful for people being nice. So they thank people who are nice too much. Saying thank you once or twice is fine, 10 times is excessive and weird.
Yeah I was the youngest and I'm supposed to act like I did under 18 and just be there while I'm my brother's ate cereal after school because they don't know how to have conversations and college changed me and now I don't want to vote the way I'm screamed at 2
Personal boundariers not allowed. Question is what makes a difference between a narc person and a child who does similar things as a defence, and sounds exactly the same as narc does when provoked and reacts?
Finally get your family OUT OF YOU & be the true self you were never allowed to be 👇
Access my free training - jerrywise.ewebinar.com/webinar/free-training-10027
‘Road to Self’ Program: Join 10,000+ people who have transformed their lives! www.jerrywiserelationshipsystems.com/road-to-self
Please tell us how we can save our self-confidence among these parents. I really need it.
All of them...😢 especially being the fixer and setting boundaries... even today... I'm naturally a giver but have been so unfair to myself, I've always put others' needs first
This is excellent thank you -I missed the funeral of my great grandmother unable to stand up for myself to medical director …so ridiculous it was abuse but I was programmed not to stand up for myself …being a physician didn’t change this still had no ability to stand up for myself
Yes. The over explanation of simple choices. That was one of the first things i noticed about myself that made me realize something really bad had happened to me
I had family members refer to my overexplanations as “spiraling” or in text they’d add “I’m not going read all this. You sound/are acting crazy.” I still feel shamed simply explaining things... or even talking at all around my father’s friends.
@@Seeyatellite Yes. I used to get that a lot and still do.
OH MY GOSH!!! Over explaining simple decisions is a big one for me. I feel like I have to deliver a PhD thesis when someone asks me anything even the slightest bit personal
Example: I will be taking leave from my military service to visit a friend, and whenever he calls me about it, I immediately dissolve (that’s the word) into explain every detail, reassuring that I don’t want to be a burden, trying to remove some of his anticipation and an endless series of nonsense quite frankly, when he probably just wants to know the plan.
I always felt invisible and forgettable.
When you're the person in the chronic pain support group who has to have his arm twisted into speaking at all... yep. This video definitely hit hard, as usual.
Im so glad that i discovered your channel. So many things you say match exactly. In my late 40s i am the only one left in the family who takes care of my old mother. This is a very tough situation. Unfortunately my house is only 150meters away from hers and we share a dog whom i love more than anything so we have to see ourselves almost every day. Once i decided to keep the dog for a few days straight and go no contact that long she then went to the police and told them i was held captive in my own house by dangerous violent criminals... This is a nightmare ! I feel like Norman Bates :(
Was that episode of mania or paranoia not enough to get her put into a home?
I've experienced some of this, but fortunately have been able to do self discovery and healing. My sister however, is still plagued by much of what you listed. She is a "pleaser" and I dont think she knows her authentic self, it's sad what narc parents do to us. Thank you Mr. Wise. ❤
"And be Wise..."
All accurate! :(
Yes. We are like dry drunks.
...in so many goofy ways. It's like a “bipolar dry drunkenness.”
We? You might be however you're I & not We.
Can relate to this
Discovered your channel recently, you are one of the best on the subject (and Dr. Ramani)
Dr. Ramani helped give me the power to leave. He is helping realize why I was in the relationship to begin with
I was made fun of at a waitressing job …people were making fun of me when they didn’t think they could hear me …I never realized this about myself before then ..
Hold your head high. Making fun of a stranger who is serving you food says more about their character than it does about yours.
The only downside is he still wants someone just to listen
Recession, housing crisis made every child of narcissistic abuse to prolong their suffering during young adulthood, becoming stunted in their development as adults while narcissistic parents continue to abuse you as they kept you trapped in your own image of the abused child. At 18, I was being forced to believe I was retarded because recession made me unemployed and college counselors were playing games with me to try to make me fall behind and miss taking courses. I wanted to work and study so that I could begin to be financially independent but recession hit hard and the mental abuse became worse and at a daily basis until I ended up in a psychiatric hospital. In my 30s, I wasted so much of my 20s and now I am physically sick and medical gaslighting and narcissistic doctors sense me as easy prey so now I am damned for life with health and financial problems while they continue to threaten with a lawsuit. The emotional discard is only possible if you become sick and financially insecure.
Can the elevated sense of self importance present like “they need my help”
I have another one I've observed Jerry. People are often too grateful for people being nice. So they thank people who are nice too much. Saying thank you once or twice is fine, 10 times is excessive and weird.
The downside is hard to explain. Like in occupied country people can chose to ignore it or fight against occupation.
That's why certain countries have more war than others cos they refuse to back down
Selective Mutism is NOT a choice. One's ability to speak simply STOPS.
One big one for me is not feeling emotions.
Yeah I was the youngest and I'm supposed to act like I did under 18 and just be there while I'm my brother's ate cereal after school because they don't know how to have conversations and college changed me and now I don't want to vote the way I'm screamed at 2
I wish Narcissist wouldn't have kids.
Seriously. It would literally have been better if I just wasn’t born.
Personal boundariers not allowed.
Question is what makes a difference between a narc person and a child who does similar things as a defence, and sounds exactly the same as narc does when provoked and reacts?
Omg İ have all things in all videos. Give me ideas to regain self-confidence please