we need to vent…
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 21 ต.ค. 2024
- We are back! We took a little break from filming, but we are back with more Qualitty Conversations.
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--- ISI: @isimemeedeko / isimemeedeko
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Imagine a podcast 👀 “Quality Time with Josh & Isi” 🤩
This is an awesome title!
Would love that
Isn't this a pod tho
Literally was thinking the same thing!
@@Z_err nah it’s just for fun
the war on light skin men is connected to the disrespect towards darkskin women and the fact that light skin = more feminine and dark skin=more masculine. it's very unfortunate
OMG YES like for example look at how people differentiate between Megan thee stallion and Zendaya. Both being about the same height but the way people say that zendaya is more prettier and skinnier and lighter and Megan is darker,thicker, and more “masculine”.
you are so right
Girl you ain’t lie
@@naomirwegayura852 I wouldn’t compare those two because they present themselves in two completely different ways but I totally get what you’re trying to say
@@feyi4103 I agree. Two completely different presentations. Not comparable in my opinion
Also it's interesting because as dark skin woman, I've noticed lighter men respect me and my skin tone more than darkskin men usually do
Because self hate is real. White people made sure they convinced black peoples to hate the skin they’re in, especially if you’re darkskin.
Same here
I honestly feel this a lot more and sometimes I find myself gravitating more to lighter skinned guys because their energy is better towards me than guys the same skin tone as me or darker and it’s a little sad because I don’t like to feel like I’m shunning somebody because of their skin
I've noticed this and I think it's weird
I'm a dark skin woman and I've dated all shades of black men however in my personal experience light skin men approached me faster, more often and where more complimentary of my skin tone than dark skin men.
You guys definitely have male fans without a doubt I watch you guys religiously and clearly I’m a man I think You guys may just see more women interact like commenting and stuff like that but there’s definitely a lot of men that watch love is universal
Cute guy
"I want this relationship to be as peaceful as possible for both of us." That is worthy of noting for everyone and just wisdom!!! Thank you Isi!
When Josh hit that “That’s my wife” the switch was serious. Like he went from this my home skillet biscuit to man try her if you want to.
They married?
@@angellong7970 almost they are still engaged rn
I won’t lie, the pretty privilege conversation made me kinda emotional because as a darkskinned woman I have seen this play out my entire life. it still affects me to this day. it sucks knowing that society will never view us as desirable as our lighter skinned counterparts. sometimes it really messes with my perception of self becaus I know i’m beautiful but when society doesn’t view you as beautiful it can be a mindfuck
If that is your picture, you ARE beautiful.
The only thing you need to focus on is finding the man who wants YOU. Be your best self physically and mentally. You don't need every single person to prefer your beauty over someone elses.
@@nalahbaer8290 Exactly! Your comment should be at the top. While it’s great to continually bring this disparity to light in hopes of waking more people up, our focus should always be on God and those who want/appreciate us. Everybody won’t prefer us and that’s just the reality. (We honestly don’t need them to.) Everyone doesn’t even accept Jesus, though that’s a whole other impasse. Preferences are simply preferences and some people even later change their preferences after digging through the superficial and discovering spiritual depth in life.
just letting you know, this is not an international problem. In some countries black is beautiful.
@tima i am so glad you said this. I struggle everyday and feel that i am almost 30 and should be okay with being dark skinned but I cannot see whether i am pretty or not because of my skin tone and because it was mostly black people esp those from africa who too were dark skin but they would tell me i was burnt looking because my tone was darker than them, it makes it hard for me and these convos get me emotional because people say love yourself but psychologically i cannot no matter how much i try.
I am educated and grown and still struggling to think i could be seen to be as worthy as my lighter counterparts.
Can we talk about the emotional chock hold between parents and children. That is something that a lot of people go through now.
Exactly this goes On a lot in my household which pushes me away from my parents because they can never admit when they are in the wrong and I always have to end up apologising for things that I don’t do wrong
Josh nailed it, imo. Love can remain even after leaving. So, love will be unconditional, but the benefits (including one's continued presence in another's life) of that love will not be. Learned that from a previous pastor of mine, and totally agree with it.
Took the words out of my mouth!👏🏾
Oh yess I relate to this so much I just didn't had the words to explain it thank you!!
Same I like this I can still love you and I don’t feel guilty about that but what I won’t do is STAY and put up with something I’m not happy with
Staying in a marriage where you should have been left that's not unconditional love that's bondage
That’s toxic lol
" I slap your momma it's over" almost took me out😂. Your delivery of wisdom is unmatched!
Isi explaining how he knows allll of her is truly emotional. Can’t wait to see what me and my boyfriend look like at year 7! Hopefully happily engaged like you guys 🥺🥺
Pretty privilege gives the same energy as skinny privilege. As a girl who is chubby, I sometimes feel overlooked and under appreciated because of my size. I can also sometimes feel self conscious about what I do, wear, and look in certain clothes when I am around other ppl. As I get older, I am learning to love myself for who am and what I look like but society can make it feel as if you have to be a drop dead gorgeous chubby/big girl to get the same love and attention from not only men but women as well when you are a skinny girl. And same goes with shaping of our bodies. If you are a chubby/ big girl with an hour glass shape you are deemed more attractive than a chubby /big girl with maybe a square or triangle shape body.
Not so much a privilege... it's simply biological.
Hey, I just wanted to say that is a society problem, is not even skinny privilege. I’m skinny and I always had issues with my body and people commenting on how skinny I’m and that I should eat for. I’m skinny, tall and dar skin, só before I worked on becoming more confident and loving my body and myself it was always an issue for me. But once you love yourself what others say it won’t affect your own self love, it’s the most amazing feeling ever.
I am cubby always have been and I had a confidence issue and was looking for attention or validation instead of changing my view of self. I love me and I am not defined by others views of me. If you don't like my weight my face my personality, baby that's fine. We just werent meant to be at the same table. Once i gained confidence and understood my value and the value I add, I don't seek validation or acceptance.
But just cuz u skinny don’t mean guys don’t make fun of your body either
I don’t think skinny privilege is a thing because beauty standards have changed and now a lot of skinny girls are becoming insecure because they feel like they need to be quote on quote “thick” and boys say stuff like she don’t got no cake or she’s a stick which is really annoying and sad because young girls with skinny bodies are looking up to those standards which can be so damaging to a person
IMO I think having the expectation of your partner coming to you when YOU are the one with the upset is unrealistic. It almost like a parent-child relationship where the child is upset about something & they don’t know how to articulate & express why they are upset so the parent comes & tries to figure it out. You guys are a grown engaged couple & I think the partner who is upset should be the one who says “hey this made me upset because XYZ & I’ll appreciate if I’m the future XYZ” (stating the problem & figuring out a solution) then you guys talk about it instead of waiting for the other partner to initiate & come to you to try to figure out why you’re upset. Again just my opinion but I think it will make it easier for the both of you & make y’all communication even more stronger when each partner is able to take responsibility for their OWN upset & take initiative to process the emotions & move on instead of placing it onto the other partner to figure it out when you clearly know what triggered your upset & can communicate it right then instead of waiting for the other to come. It’s almost like “I’m upset so come make me feel better” instead of “that upset me & I will let you know so that we can understand & fix it”.
🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯
Spot on!!!! Perfectly said!
100%!!
Absolutely
I disagree a little bit. IMO Isi FOR SURE ! communicates to him how she feels … as you can tell Isi is very opinionated. I kinda related to her with the emotional reassurance that we all need some times. She wasn’t asking josh to be a “parent” and “figure it out” . But if the energy in their home is off, or you see your partner upset , to reach out and ask the question!!! Connecting to the point Isi brought up “Josh leading as the man or “head of household”. Just often time being the one to “check in”. Could be as simple as hey are you okay… or u look upset… what’s wrong babe? As she would do for him when he feels emotional 🖤 .
You most def had some gems 💎 in there sis !…I just don’t think it was as deep as u analyzed it… they are both very much opinionated ppl and they voice it beautifully .
Over an hour?!?‼️ Let me grab my snacks real quick🍿🥤
Edit: for the next Quality Conversation maybe you could talk about the way parents raise/treat their daughters vs. their sons?
That goes for both mother and father though, fathers raise their sons differently than their daughters.
@@officiallynu9256 Yes! You are so right. I was thinking about how my mom raised me vs my brother, but your comment just made me think about all the things that my dad does differently with me than him
@@kyahpolk1109 I believe it’s a lot of double standards involved for both parents but more so the father
@@officiallynu9256 absolutely. It's because when society thinks of a mother figure they imagine a nurturing, caring being. Father's on the other hand don't get much credit and if they do it's praised so much because it's basically "unheard of"
Whew childe this is a good oneeeeee.
Y’all gon hear this ✨QUALITY✨ LOUD and CLEAR they said 👏🏽
It’s the level of maturity for me 🤎🤎
ISI'S PONYTAIL!!!👀♥️
Seriously so cute
My boyfriend and I love watching you all, he mentioned Josh should do a pod cast for men (talk about topics, etc) and I agree! Lol
In my opinion i believe that family should be conditional too because they usually be the ones putting you through the worst
Josh gets it!!! “ i love you but I can remove myself from this situation for my sanity” #listentojosh
It blows my mind every time I think that God(of the bible) loves every single human being on this earth unconditionally, like humans be sinful messes yet He still wants a relationship with us even though He knows legit everything about us
😭😭❤
The emotional chokehold thing also greatly applies to when you guys decides to start a family. You don’t want to ever put your kid in a emotional chokehold either and It cool that you are working on that now and not later.
I have very dark skin. In my natural state (little makeup, not wearing a pretty dress, hair in her 4c glory) if I get attention, it’s from old men..mostly old black men. That attention quadruples and it comes from people of different ages, races AND genders when my hair is in a straight style. I’m happy to be in a place where I recognize this..so I rarely wear my hair straight. I know I’m beautiful and there’s no need to alter myself to prove it like I used to.
Even as a dark-skinned girl who lives in the Caribbean I got talked about because of my skin color from people telling me to bleach to boys saying they wouldn't date me because they are dark and want lighter babies or because of my nose or a boy telling me that he refuses to talk to a dark-skinned girl because if they were to do the deed her area will be too dark for him to see the hole, now I just laugh at it because even tho I'm just 16 now back then I was heartbroken and boys who walked up to me and say I was ugly was the worst feeling which lead me to think that I was only liked for my shape which I still get but just last year I really discovered myself and my beauty and not only realized I'm beautiful myself but remembered all those who told me I was and who do even if they are stangers because I didn't believe it back then but anyway love from Trinidad 🇹🇹🇹🇹🇹🇹❤❤❤❤
I'm so glad they brought up the kevin Samuels video, because...👀 as much as I support yall, I couldn't finish watching that male (cause a real man doesn't disrespect women) talk down to that young lady. It was too much for me😭 Also I watch alot of your videos with my husband, so there are men who watch the channel as well. They're probably just not as vocal.
Yeppp the comment section was toxicccc it was so weird seeing a lot of people arguing in their comment section especially since it's usually just people having peaceful conversations 💀
I was waiting for them to speak on it. I felt it was going to happen since they were gone for a min but I didn’t wanna expect them to really speak on it cause sometimes people just let things go. But I’m glad they did cause YES IT WAS WHEWWW CHILD UP IN THERE! 😮💨😮💨
Agreed. I appreciate the trendy content but I felt like that video was below the expectations I’ve created of their brand and the personality they’ve delivered to us. I couldn’t support it in finishing watching because this didn’t sit right with me and how I view them and the respect I think towards their vision for their platform.
Didn't even bother watching. Was really annoyed when I saw they even did a video about him. I can't watch anything that includes that man. Just too toxic, negative, and low vibrational for me.
But... I don’t know... Regarding the apology/arguing thing, I feel like there’s another side to it you know? Don’t you sometimes feel like as the upset party, your approach should be “hey, I’m hurt about xyz, let’s talk about it.” Instead of “aren’t you going to ask me what’s wrong?” 🤷🏾♀️ I don’t know man... it’s kinda weird. But then again, it is your relationship and you guys are literally about to get married 😅❤️ so like clearly it really is different strokes for different folks🤷🏾♀️.
This was fun to watch!💕💕
pretty privilege is definitely a thing. i’ve gotten free gas for the past 4 years bc the gas attendant enjoys my beauty and conversation. my trip to the gas station may be 20 minutes 😂 but as long as he’s there i never have to pay for a thing
Not 20 minutes 😂😂😂
Danggg
We should also acknowledge that the same thing happens with darker skin men. I personally had an encounter with a darker skin man and he had the nerve to tell me "I need to be with a lighter tone woman so my child won't turn out as dark as me." and hearing that was truly heartbreaking. It's such an ignorant comment to make, even if that is your mindset (which is terrible) you should definitely keep that to yourself, don't tell me, someone who is chocolate and clearly not light enough for you, that.
Would y’all be open to doing a video on how to bring spirituality into your relationship? Like couple Bible studies, church, devotionals, etc. Or if you guys focus on your individual relationships with God?
hey. I remember them saying in a previous video that certain topics would be.. hm, I guess you could say "off limits." I think they said "hot button" topics. so like religion, sex, etc,. so I would guess probably not 😒
I don't think they will do it they mentioned this briefly cz it will have ppl judging them a lot
I would love this!!
They probably won’t but comment any christian couple you know, id live to follow!
@@xoxovicky101 Uhm Jess and Gabriel .. Very Christian and they follow the moral standards to the t and they are married now ... like, they prayed n God led them to each other, they waited til mArriage , etc .. and they're so sweet and funny. very exemplary couple. And this is no shade to josh and isi btw I appreciate their content but if u are looking for a really Christian friendly content oriented couple channel they are worth checking out
When i was in college (and i went to a HBCU) my close friend at the time was lighter than me with lighter eyes, etc. and she definitely got more attention than me immediately. Guys would think I was cute but gravitated to her more. It wasn't until after getting to know my personality that they would become more cool with me. At first it made me question myself and if someone did like me i would kinda squint like, are you sure? Lol But as i grew to learn and accept myself and gain confidence, that energy exuded and i attracted those who were meant for me in that time. Not allowing someone to make me uncomfortable in my skin is definitely one of my super powers
the only reason I can understand what Isi means about her wanting Josh to come to her more is because I think that's a personality thing. I'm a Virgo as well and I feel the same. but it's also an opportunity to learn how to put pride aside when you value a person in your life. so please keep that in mind Isi. we're ALWAYS growing in love ❤️
Pretty privilege is real. When you don’t fit into societies beauty standards ( dark skin, 4a-c hair, big) you get treated differently. It is what it is. And no matter of self reflecting and self esteem boost changes that because it’s not a reflection of how we see ourselves. It’s a reflection of how OTHER people see US.
so beautifully said
Wow! My pizza just arrived, I opened my bottle of wine and y’all post 😭 look at God
😂😂
@@loganbre5573 is is the one for that that you sent sent to you yesterday to to see see you guys are on on campus and will let let me you you have have been great great news about you
I'm 22 and still can't drive... no room for judgement here
I'm 26 and still can't drive. I met in 1 accident while learning and never got behind the wheel again.
No judgement - everyone is not meant or wants to drive and that’s okay
I believe it’s really unfair to expect him to be the one that comes to you when it’s a problem. Regardless if it’s just most of the time and not all of the time. At the same time your his soon to be wife, he is your soon to be husband. “Head of the house” isn’t something society’s paints it’s in the Bible . It sounds selfish and maybe you should reflect how that could make him feel emotional, maybe that’s somewhere where you can make him feel he lacks emotional support that he has to be the one to rekindle things “most” the time. And considering that you acknowledge yall will soon be husband and wife, knowing that means being aware that marriage excludes selfishness. He didn’t asked ask to be a man so that shouldn’t automatically mean he has to handle the problems most of the time because he’s the man.
Just to clarify, I believe Isi doesn’t believe in a male being ‘head of household’ as in its ‘full’ traditional stance that most people partake within society, hence they stem it from their religion & morals & values etc… cause she also said she feels they are equal in most things. And I feel she mentioned it being “painted” because people take that approach as if it’s (traditional/male being HOH) the only way to have a relationship, when it’s not. And the Bible is not how one has to run their relationship. It’s a mere suggestion if one believes in all of its values & chooses to translate that into their personal relationship.
Before, I believe Isi spoke on how she & Josh were not having a full blown traditional type of relationship. And since Josh’s parents are traditional there were things Isi has to require him to understand that she won’t do, but is ‘normally expected’ in a ‘traditional relationship’ where the male is the HOH because he had previous ideals he sought out for his potential partner due to his parents reflection.
I do agree in the sense that I think everyone in a relationship should go to their partner about what is bothering them, I don’t think they should wait until the other has to ask, that’s how things escalate in my eyes.
I've never considered myself "unattractive" by societal standards or hey, even by my own, but I say this because Pretty Privilege specifically speaking about skin tone is most DEFINITELY real, my closest friend is light skinned, I am confidently dark skinned, we lived in the DR for 1.5 years doing volunteer work, and man oh man..... The treatment and attention we received (always being together) was night and day. She was offered more Concho (kinda like a busted taxi) rides, when times I would get passed by even when there was PLENTY room in the cars, the men hit on her constantly and didn't think twice about me, and it was very interesting becoming hyper aware of all that while living in a very prejudice country where skin tone and hair texture matter greatly, and because of becoming so aware there, I started to notice it more here in the States. Fortunately the shallow, ignorant, and sometimes unconscious bias of others made me more sensitive to the injustices and inequality that so many deal with (myself and others), and overall just appreciate myself even more in my skin.
ISI, you can also go to him and initiate conversation or reconciliation.
I’m honestly so moved and I’m literally about to cry because the way that you guys admitted to your faults and could admit when you were wrong. That’s something that I have never ever seen or heard of in my house and I’m hoping and praying that my parents (especially my step dad) can get to that point of their marriage(yes, marriage) I love you guys so much 🤎❤️
I can definitely relate even in my household my mum can never admit when she’s wrong and it’s so toxic for me and it just drives me away from her
The pretty privileges conversation especially with the skin tone deserve a whole video on his own cause was really eye opening I was aware of this from observing and listening to people's perspectives but this really open my eyes in a way I wasn't aware was that deep when comes to dark skin woman cause I don't get how cause in my mind if you're pretty you're pretty period no matter your features or skin tone so I'm trying to learn and understand cause I don't find a lot of people with the same perspective unfortunately
Edit:I agree with Isi it's crazy to me how you're not respect for not being considered attractive that shouldn't be a factor at all
Edit 2: Right I had the same reaction as Maya I was shocked when you said you didn't had them
Agreed because I for sure though Isi was going to say she had it. Definitely gorgeous enough to have it to me. Definitely a topic that could’ve had it’s on talk. Had me reflecting on in my life if I had pretty privilege or not.
@@yoyorosetv822 sameee
Unconditional love is not what you all are implying it is. You can break up with someone and still love them. True love Is never ending. However, you don’t have to engage with that person. You don’t have to tolerate disrespect. When you experience a mature love you will never say if you do XYZ then I’m out. But this is a good conversation for you guys to have
Yea there's a difference between unconditional love vs unconditional support
@@audaciouslyaq this is tweet worthy lool
@@bandaqueenlove9134 thanks!
Unconditional love doesn’t mean I’ll stay with you no more what, it means I’ll love you no matter what BUT even if I do leave, I still love you as a person.
I agree with Josh. I can love you from afar. Been married 18 years, 3 pregnancies, 2 kids, child loss, etc. There are still reasons I would leave (if they occurred, thankfully they haven’t). I can unconditionally love you AND STILL LOVE ME MORE. That’s really the long and short of it.
Hey Isi! ☺️. I hope that my message finds you well if you see this and that my delivery doesn’t seem off-putting because that is not my intention. (tone is tricky when it comes to non-verbal)
I just wanted to express that it almost doesn’t seem fair to expect for Josh to be the one to come to you and nudge you to talk when as the upset party, you are the one that has come across something that has bothered you and upset you within the relationship. So I think it’s just as important for you to present those “findings” once you feel you can express your hurt in a loving way (speaking metaphorically here lol) just as much as it’s important for Josh to acknowledge that you seem off or bothered by something. I think the expectation for someone to always take the role of being the bigger person can create resentment and it can just be emotionally draining to have a partner that’s not trying to take at least half accountability (from when you said “most of the time”) for a role that I think both parties should be working to provide for each other equally. This is just my opinion thoe of course. lol wanted to join in on the good conversations.
love y’all channel and have been watching y’all forever. Definitely a Quality Crew Member. Your conversations are always very intellectually stimulating, which is refreshing. Keep doing y’all ❤️✊🏽 #blacklove
See unconditional love doesn’t tie you to unconditionally loving someone romantically. As a believer my aim should be to still love you even if I decide to no longer communicate with you , even if you hurt me or I hurt you. It’s definitely possible…but it’s a decision.
I just asked my husband the other day while watch the Marlon Waynes show, "Why is it that in these TV shows the bestfriend is always the darker skin disrespected chick and the star's lightskinned love interest never defends her friend??" And he was like wow you're right. It was a huge factor in the Martin show that we all love so much. Martin making fun of Pam even though she sleighed every scene and was always beautiful and well put together and was a professional black woman who (in my opinion) to this day is way more beautiful /sexier than Gina. But that helped to perpetuate this bias towards fairer skinned women. And i always hated that Gina or any of the characters like her in those shows never had an episode speaking up for her dark brown bestfriend. And the fact that that friend still comes around them anymore. I would never be with a man who dissed my bestfriend every time she was in the room!! Especially for her features. Not cool at all!!😡🤬
I love how the conversation just flows naturally I should’ve grabbed a snack. The whole pretty privilege thing is very interesting because for me people are beautiful period I don’t like how people like to bring up skin tone into this. Especially growing up in a society where people will bleach their skin to be considered « beautiful ». Thankfully no one’s ever said that to me yet but I definitely got the « you’re pretty for a dark skin » vibe many times. The worst part is some don’t even want to acknowledge that this is a slave mentality. I can’t say this enough but someone’s not beautiful because of their complexion and our value as humans doesn’t come from such things.
Topic idea: Is self love and understanding your value as an individual a good way to not be affected by pretty privilege or is it a deeper issue that that?
Topic idea: Good question! I think that self love/ worth does help not be AS affected by not having pretty privilege, however, when society and social media is constantly portraying that “light skin is beautiful, dark skin is not”, it gets sort of hard to not occasionally question your self worth and beauty. That’s just my opinion, but yes I do think it could help, but it still doesn’t change the fact that you may never have someone pay for your drink (just using the example given), and that can take a shot at your confidence, even if you do know your value.
😫🙌🏽❤ Bruh...y'all so real ain't no toxicity in this crewwwww!!😌 Just QUALITY!!🌟
I love that talked about the concept of unconditional love. I feel like love can be unconditional but marriage is not. You usually recite your conditions at the alter. So like Josh said you can love them but not stay married to them. Love y'all! Y'all should definitely have a podcast! 💃🏾💃🏾💃🏾
I don’t think I have pretty privilege, but I will point out something. When you get into a relationship, suddenly everybody starts looking at you, noticing your beauty, personality, etc. I really don’t understand the reason why you get more attention when you’re taken.
i’m glad josh corrected that statement. looks definitely matter. there’s no way around that. if i’m not initially attracted to you, there’s a slim chance i’m going to move forward to determining if i like your personality. especially in the era of social media. someone could be internally beautiful, but if you dm me and i don’t like what i see there’s more of a chance that i won’t respond. now, if that person is extremely persistent that might change things. emphasis on might.
About the pretty privilege, I feel the same way as the girl. I don’t think I have pretty privilege at all, and my perception of love for me is just looking like slim to none. The other day, I posted a video with me, my sister, and my cousins all dolled up and cute. All the guys that swiped up just wanted to get at my sister (who already has a record of constantly being told she’s pretty). It makes me so sad sometimes, bc I feel like there are so many good guys out there that would never look my way bc of how I look. And it really does take a toll on me, not only being darkskin, but also being a plus sized woman, guys don’t bat an eye at me.
Awwww darling I totally understand and can relate to you in a way but please keep in mind that you are very and truly BEAUTIFUL in your own way. Never compare yourself to anyone cos you’re BEAUTIFUL ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
@@aliceanaman4207 PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE DO NOT COMPARE WITH NOBODY, NOBODY . JUST LOVE YOURSELF AND RIGHT PERSON WILL FIND YOU. AND CONFIDENT . BELIEVE ME PLEASE. I AM AN OLD LADY. GOD BLESS
I know I don't have pretty privilege and it's shown itself in my life in this way, many guys would be down to be sexual behind closed doors, but they wouldn't date me or claim me publicly and that ish hurts. They would say they aren't ready for a relationship right now or whatever, and then two weeks later they have a girlfriend. And sadly it has happened to me multiple times. And it hurts even more because I live in the Caribbean on an island that is majority dark skinned people. So the fact that colorism (because we all know pretty privilege is just colorism) is so prevalent here is mind boggling.
Pretty privilege is not just colorism. That statement is a reflection of your own thought process. A person can absolutely be dark and pretty and can have pretty privilege.
@@romae6182 Majority of the people with pretty privilege, both male and female, are lighter in complexion. This video was also highlighting that lighter skin toned people are the ones experiencing pretty privilege, which is the truth. I never said dark people can't be pretty, dark people are gorgeous.it is just a truth that majority of us darker skinned people, will not experience pretty privilege, and that boils down to colorism.
see I'm in the middle of this. I'll go out with friends and get drinks paid for and all of that but on the other hand I've never been in a relationship and it's basically the same thing you said. Them not being ready for a relationship or I'm basically a place holder until who they really want comes along.
It's crazy because recently I've been talking to my boyfriend about how society and even myself as a woman is seemingly falling victim to supporting and appreciating women so much more however at the same time somehow "hating" men. I use the quotation marks around hating because I know I personally don't hate anyone but I see the correlation in men hate right now. Being that I'm also in a relationship I know that once I realized that's how I saw myself moving I was quick to try o find ways to show love to women and men simultaneously. I feel like you both touched on that a bit but I would love to see a video primarily speaking on it and maybe touching on how do we begin to move away from that while still supporting women and at the same time uplifting men!
Love you guys by the way
I already loved y’alls vibe but seeing you guys in this type of environment just being 100% yourselves makes you seem so relatable! Isi reminds me of one of my home girls in this video. Love it.
I feel that he’s needing to be heard instead of being cut off while speaking. Love you both as a couple, and the energy you both bring.
As a dark skinned girl I can relate to what Isi is saying 100% I definitely was overlooked and treated differently. My two best friends are light skinned and I was often overlooked and it made me self conscious for the longest time. Accepting compliments even still aren’t “difficult” per say, but I definitely feel awkward.
I am dark complexion black woman, and I know I have pretty privilege. I get charged less for getting my vehicle fixed-so much so, people would assume I had to have some type of relationship with the individual (fyi-i never did). Men will offer to pay for my things when I am out convenience stores, clubs, and restaurants sometimes.
Smacking 100% increases taste ability 😂💯
Nooo! Y’all need to stop that, my brother tries to enforce that on to me, but no! 😂😂😂
Someone mentioned there being levels to pretty privilege and I would agree. I get a lot of stares but I’ve also been told that I come off as overly confident or even conceited that people are scared to approach me so they’ll just look and not say anything. I don’t think I look mean and I try my best to smile when I enter rooms or cross paths with people, But I’ve noticed when I’m out with friends who are beautiful, but you could say they may be more average looking, they are more approachable and people would start a convo with them and I’d be off on the side just nodding my head and listening.
I love y’all! Have y’all ever thought about talking with Mrs. KevOnStage on her show The Love Hour?? I just would love to hear you two couples trade stories and wisdom.
I’m 20 & I’m just now learning how to drive ( I’ve been a passenger in several accidents so it traumatized me) whatever reason she has for not learning yet is understandable forget ppl and their timelines for what age you should learn certain things 🤍
On the topic of pretty privilege, I think it’s more complex than meets the eye. I feel more women actually have pretty privilege but don’t use it or know how to. It’s also levels to it as well like Josh was saying. I think just being pretty is half of the equation but the energy you put out is the other half.
Whew! Good job to the both of you! I love how y’all are working through the tough conversations! I’ve been married three years with my husband for almost 5. Our therapist said that understanding doesn’t equal Agreement! That’s where I used to go wrong. I’m working on not shutting down when my husband doesn’t agree with me.
I'm loving these quality conversations 🤌🏾😍🔥
For me as far as pretty privileged goes. I grew up knowing I had pretty privilege. And some of my best friends are dark skinned. And I new I got a lot of attention because I was lighter than them. I remember my male friends asking why I was friends with them or like why would you hang out with people that don’t look like you etc etc. some even would flat out say why am I hanging around ugly girls. And I would reply I would never hang out or be friends with an ugly person and I stand by that. Beauty and ugliness is not skin deep it’s deeper than that. My dark skinned friends are beautiful on the outside and inside. But it really baffled me that my male friends at the time would say stuff like that and you already know them themselves were dark skinned. I don’t know why they had so much audacity.
On another note even with males around me saying that I always wanted to have a darker complexion because I wanted to look more like my grandpa and favorite uncle. I remember telling my mom so many times when I was younger that I wanna look like chocolate pudding or an Oreo 😩.
I love how y’all both take responsibility for your relationship. Your advice is always so great! Pleas keep these coming!!
Have y'all thought about collabing with Kier and Noémie Gaines? I think the four of you would have AMAZING conversations.
I feel like they’re levels to the “pretty privilege” and I guess the level that I’m at is that I get a lot of attention from men because of the features I have but the sad thing about it is that it’s from older black men who are probably in their 30s and 40s and not a lot of men my age which is 20. I know that some type of acknowledgment is great when your not asking for it from other people but the way it’s delivered makes you feel like you don’t even want it because it makes you feel uncomfortable. Maybe those who cat call vs those who acknowledge you could be a topic idea idk that’s what just came up. Love you guys so much and I’m loving the new content and I hope you and everyone else is doing well.
Thank you so much for adding value to my life Josh and Isi! I love the quality conversations and it’s helping me grow mentally and emotionally. Seeing y’all grow and evolve on TH-cam has been inspiring and I hope that one day I can have a healthy relationship. I pray that you guys keep on producing content that not only entertains us but adds value to our lives. The pretty girl privilege is real and as a dark skinned woman it’s sad and unfair to not always be the chosen or the desired one.
God desires/chooses us and when we surrender everything to Him, including how we’re feeling, He sends people who also desire/choose us and those relationships always go deeper than skin tone. Society is superficial for the most part, so we can’t allow societal views-skewed on some ancient European scale-to dictate how we feel about ourselves. We don’t have to be everybody’s preference to hold value when we value ourselves and “focus on those who also value us.” It’s nothing wrong with having preferences, but most of the men wanting women for superficial reasons (and vice versa) are confused, misled, and end up destroying themselves or being destroyed by the woman/partner. Sand will never be a sturdy foundation for a relationship.
@@lelagold4990 thank you so much for this!
@@Leilamasi You’re welcome! ❤️Praying for you sis.🙏🏾 God loves us more than we could ever fathom. God often reminds me to keep my focus on Him.
Can y’all record with your balcony behind the background? Switch it up … I’d like to see what that looks like 🙃
I love the pretty privileged conversation but one this that I also want to add is being tall also can “ruin” pretty privilege for a woman. I am almost 6 feet tall and my bestfriends are both under 5’6” so us as a group is very interesting. My height can usually catch people attention, but it’s my friends that they go out of their way for to tell them they are beautiful, have the door held for them, or even just the extra conversations. Like don’t get me wrong we are all gorgeous and we all have beautiful bodies but our main difference is our height. When I first kinda notice the attention they got over me it almost made me feel like the ugly friend, like it almost got to the point were I stopped even trying to look nice around them because I knew no matter what it would be them. I got over it though but there is definitely also a heavy short preference going on as well.
I understand that 100%. I was the tall friend but girl you’re almost 6 feet you could literally be a MODEL. You automatically demand attention no matter what. you’re friends are shorter but if y’all were all the same height then you wouldn’t stick out. People use tallness as an insult but I view it as power. When they see you , they’re intimated but you cannot care bc these people don’t know you. I’m 5’9-5’10 and I know I’m tall… I do not wanna be short it’s weird to me so wear that outfit wear those heels cause you can’t shrink !!!
@@Tessasevieux I am waaaaay to awkward for that, also I know that industry can be insane on a lot of different levels.
@@nalanibutler9656 yeah I’m awkward too but I have to take control on my life other peoples opinion can be crucial to you but it’s really a mental thing
and let’s also add weight into the conversation! fat phobia is real!
Listen, height is beautiful. I know I'm not as tall as you but I was insecure about my height for a short period of time but it was all in my head.
Remember that the sexiest pair of shoes that a woman can wear are "heels" which makes women taller. Heels wouldn't even be sexy if it weren't for the inches... You naturally have something that a lot of women pay for to achieve (height).
Being tall makes you dominant and it draws attention.
One suggestion I have for you is to hang around women that are similar to how you look. Find you some tall friends!
Ahhh yess missed y'all just made the end of my day Isi I'm loving the ponytail you 2 always look amazing love y'all❤
Edit: The new pictures are everything your kids are gonna look back to those and love them, they look like movie pics! About the Maya footage maybe incluide it on a vlog or just a random video i dunno how much footage you have of it
seriously look up too them so much 😩
I’m here for these uncut and uncensored conversations
I’m a darker skin woman dating a light skin man and even some of the men that are apart of my friend group encouraged my boyfriend in the beginning to date my lighter skin friend instead of me mainly Bc I was darker and I would be “more likely to be stressing him out by doing too much” in the relationship. Jokes on them tho Bc we’ve been happy together for two years now. But I just wanted to share that for some positivity and encouragement
That’s disgusting. Your skin tone doesn’t determine anything. Don’t hang with guys like that
@@princesslamour4659 period. Most of them later apologized but one of them didn’t so I cut him off and haven’t talked to him since.
I love how you guys spoke on pretty privilege because I've recently become aware of it myself and I too have been on the receiving end of it, that I didn't even realise it was happening. Definitely helped me check people around me because respectfully, I do not want to interact with someone who discriminates against others due to the shade of their skin.
Except you guys I don't know any other Healthy couple on social media
Big ups to Isi for owning her mess and being cognizant of it in order to make the necessary changes... This is QuaLITy...
Oh man! I had a lot of work to do after college because it really left a lasting effect of me feeling not beautiful/worthy. My two best friends were both of a lighter complexion and everywhere we went I always felt over looked. They got the attention and I felt like last pick. I didn’t realize how much it affected me until I graduated.
So loving myself and boosting confidence has a big thing for me
I can definitely say that i have had pretty priviledge and still do in my advanced years but its not something i have ever really affirmed. I have always rejected it for the reason that i believe then and now that people r people and should be treated equally regardless. I found the light skin dark skin conversation very interesting. My husband is a fine dark chocolate man and we have two beautiful daughter one chocolate like him and one my complexion lighter skin and i have noticed the difference in treatment. Its unsettling for me especially since my daughter is starting to acknowledge the difference. I am trying my best to affirm her but God always knows how to give his children the right attributes to deal with situations in life. My dark skin daughter has a very strong personality and a very high sense of self which is required in this world given the struggles mentioned. So even though i am concerned i am not overly concerned because that personality will seve her well in her adult life.
I love the To My Sisters Podcast. They are really thought provoking
Wow, hearing you guys talk really opened my perspective on a lot of things and it really starts with conversations like this to make changes. Appreciate y’all!
This video is giving! Giving maturity, inspiration, deep thinking…all while being light and fun. Amazing!!!
Good conversation. Lots of real nuggets which were thought provoking.
I be getting my brother to watch you guys videos and him and his guy friends now have discussions about it lol ( gotta spread the QUALITYYYYY conversations)✨
Please have more of these conversations!! 😫🙏🏽❤ I love itt!!
Literally OBSSESSED with you guys channel!
me i think a convo i would like to see is how to settle arguments. in your six plus years as a couple, what are the different styles y’all have tried out and what works best! cuz i think i’m alwayssss having problems with my dude. i know we love each other but damnnnn
Podcast suggestions: Sarah Jakes Roberts Women Evolve; the Love Hour, Everything is We; Nadine’s Dose of Inspiration
This is such a therapeutic conversation! I was painting while listening to you guys, and honestly, it would be soo cool if you guys had a podcast for this kind of concept video (just a suggestion). Also, it would be soo dope if you guys had a video on "important topics to focus on when getting to know one another romantically."
Yes Josh men watch you guys too!! I definitely put my bf on to watching you guys, especially when you guys have deep conversations like this. He just doesn’t have TH-cam on his phone so he isn’t subscribed and just waits until I get home to watch with me lmaoo.
The fact that the group chat is called the pretty girl gc is just…
Right lol
Right and it’s also childish, shawtys boutta be in college and that gc is giving middle school vibes
"i'm on chapter 6 & i'm fully invested" ❤️❤️ love the quality conversations y'all !
Pretty privilege is such a real thing and has definitely been a huge part of my insecurities.. especially in middle school. My friends are gorgeous but I would notice how they got much more attention.
I have been wondering when you'll gonna post, might I add it's 00:43 in 🇿🇦 right now but I'm here for it❤️❤️❤️
Literally just sent this link to my man. Y’all just don’t know how much I appreciate y’all’s honesty & transparency ❤️
Hi Isi and Josh. Thank you for the Quality conversation...the growth in both of you is admirable. Also Isi, this "Look"(Your Whole Outfit, makeup, hair) on You is Soo Good Gurl! Edit: You look like a Barbie doll.
My favorite podcasts are: The Blsck Girl Bravado, Now That’s Life by Dr. Nina, Cultivating H.E.R. Space, Slay Girl Slay
Omg I’m so glad y’all brought up the “you talk white” scenario. Unfortunately I am a victim of that. I grew up in a home where everyone spoke very proper and most of my family rarely uses slang, especially on my dad’s side. When I got to middle school, I had a friend who told me that “I talked white” and I, being a naïve little 6th grader, did not know how to take that and it definitely traumatized me. To the point where I would try to mimic the slang that I heard from my peers. And it’s crazy because I was just talking to my mom about this and she told me that she even noticed my change in speaking and now that really hurts me to know that that form of bullying literally changed my life when there was nothing wrong with how I spoke. Gosh, I love y’all and your videos so much. Thank you for bringing this and all the other topics up.