i feel like we often clap for Josh when he drops intellectual gems, but huge s/o to Isi for correcting / educating Josh in the most classy, uplifting way:)
Idk if it’s the wine or the unplanned approached but I loveee this authentic content. I love hearing them disagree and understand each other and learn on the spot. It’s so refreshing.
I can add from Isi's perspective. My dad was emotionally unavailable, verbally abusive, and intimidating. Personally, I internalized the way I saw my mom being treated and thought it was the best I could hope for. Subconsciously, I chose guys who acted just like him but came in a package that made the dysfunction more palatable. When you get tired of hurting, you finally move on. Too many of us have a high tolerance for emotional pain so rock-bottom in a relationship may require a lot to arrive to.
I love that isi mentioned how hard it is to date within your race for black women… on top of wondering if he dates black Women, a lot of us also have to consider does he date dark skinned or brown skinned women
Look you guys having black men checking for you and have you guys ever think that guys that want you are overlooked because most of you want a particular type of black man that its add to you guys missing out on men that can be good for you
I agree with Josh in regards to thanking someone. When someone just automatically says “you’re welcome”, they didn’t give me the time to be thankful for the action they did. For example, when I got gifts for Valentine’s Day last year, i was soaking in the moment, the generosity, and the thought of the gifts that I didn’t say thank you right away. Of course I said thank you, but saying thank you automatically doesn’t feel like I’m saying it from a genuine place since I haven’t had the time (even if it’s like a minute or so) to be thankful for someone else’s actions. However, when it comes to like opening the door or passing items to someone, I say thank you right away. I think it depends on the situation for me.
I feel like part of women’s intuition and ending up with bad men is tied into what you saw growing up. Intuitively you know it’s wrong, but it’s also all that you know. People don’t like change unconsciously because it’s uncomfortable, so they lean toward what they know. They go into that situation knowing it’s wrong but thinking that this time I can work the situation out. Kind of like a trauma or PTSD, you revisit those uncomfortable memories with your new relationships and try to get a different outcome. And for the women who may even go on to marry one of these men, after a while not being able to change the outcome lowers your self confidence and you start to believe that this is what you deserve.
We also are in a society where pressure is placed on the woman to either "Do better or get over it". Many have a ,"You want better? Then shush and find it already." attitude when women are involved in the conversation. I blame the horrible men for being horrible to their women, not the women for staying with said horrible man. We've become complacent as a whole when it comes to sour behavior on men's side. We want women to stand up, but stay quiet. Be strong but not too strong where weaker men feel replaced. Stay feminine but feminine is weak. Be confident but not too much, because then men are allowed to humiliate and "humble" you. That's just my 2 cents though
I agree, there are various factorrs actually. One of them (Isi also named it) is also rooted in the status or role/place of women in society. For a very long time women had to marry a man to survive and it is just recently that we can get education, a job, a house and even kids without a man (in your life). The whole dynamic of a woman and the meaning of her value is shifting due to emancipation. Would be nice to dive deeper in this at a next #winedown. Something I noticed is that Josh said that women need to stand together and hold echt others hands against patriarchy and toxic masculinity. I agree a 100% that we should not tollerate it and change our mindset, level of self love, behaviour and response. But, as Isi said it is deeper than that, but I believe it is a nessecary step and an important start! Nevertheles... What about the preditors responsibility? We need allyship to get sustainable change? Man should learn and unlearn each other within their circles/communities. I believe all woke man should correct them brothers, that is how we impact patriarchy from both sides.
Women see the good in men. We tend to focus on a man's POTENTIAL and feeling like one day he will be who we want him to be. Women SETTLE, black women SETTLE all the time until we get so tired, being single is far better than being in a relationship.
Most women are more emotional. By the time we really start seeing red flags, our feeling are already involved 😃 so it’s harder to remove yourself from that person exhibiting those red flags. And also, in certain situations I think it comes down to low self worth if you’re ignoring certain red flags.
I 100% agree with Josh’s statement “it’s not worth your time” Black women please don’t settle because you think that man is your only option. NO THAT IS FALSE. There is a man out there that will love you unconditionally. NEVER 👏🏾SETTLE 👏🏾LADIES 👏🏾
Loved the conversation, but when it comes to women staying with horrible men it's so many factors and I get how its hard to understand but it's very intersectional, for example bad relationship models parents not really teaching how to select a good partner, having parents that are unhappy but staying in a marriage, narcissitic or manipulative personalities or partners create trauma bonds, gaslighting creates low self esteem, many women even the most powerful and confident can get manipulated by someone they love, societal expectations that women should hold it down, keep the peace, be patient and grow with their partner, lack of support system or people around them, good examples of relationships, the list can keep going. But Josh you're a GREAT man, but TRUST I don't think you all know just how manipulative and calculated men can be when it comes to dating and trying to keep a woman. At the end of the day women are and WILL learn their worth and value and begin to raise their standards because the age we are moving into we are realizing we are worth so much more! Things are changing and to all the women out there, I know its hard to leave a partner you love but you deserve so MUCH MORE! I love you all
What’s your opinion on black women dating down? Because Black Men do it all the time. I ask that question because of isi statement off of Serena Williams.
You are so right. A lot of men ascribe a straightforwardness of intention to men that isn't at all reflective of reality. Doing that thoroughly simplifies women's motives and the choices they make.
I love Josh and isi but I never hear them talk about toxic females traits in a relationship or female ignorance. It has come up, but I hope they add more to that. As women we are quick to correct the other person regardless and I would like a balance. Lets talk about women in relationships. Like in this video #winedown
I definitely get Isi’s point about how women aren’t necessarily taught their worth when it comes to relationships HOWEVER we have to stop allowing us to put us at a stand still. We need to tell each other the truth to be honest. Its no one’s fault that they were taught to stay in a bad relationship, but it is your fault once it is explained to you and you keep making the same decision.
Can we talk about also part of the reason women don’t walk away is because people will look at it like, “you were just with Paul yesterday, now you’re with Daniel” like people view the amount of men you talk to as sleeping with them, which for women is a no, for men you’re the man
I def think y’all should check out this podcast on TH-cam called “everything is we”. I think you both may like them. They’re a married couple and talk about things they’ve learned through marriage and I know you both are moving into that stage of life.
I totally understand what Josh said. Because sometimes even as a woman I be wondering why do women stay in certain situations and them I realize I can't judge because I've never been in a relationship where I've been treated terribly the one I'm in right now is almost perfect for both of us so it's hard to see from another woman's perspective
@@MenaVee while I agree, a couple days after I suggested it, in a blog they mentioned that a follower of josh gave them the wine down idea! Not claiming rights to the name lol
I really understood josh’s question bc i also find myself asking that question with my female friends/family members but i love how Isi answered this question. I love this. More videos like this guys 💗
As a woman, I actually was not specifically taught my worth, more like indirectly. It was more of me teaching myself that I WILL NOT ACCEPT THE BULLSHIT lol. Women you are beautiful, kind, strong, powerful, don't settle for the bare minimum.
Oh no Isi! I'm with Josh on the premature thank you entitlement. I can't stand when someone says you're welcome before I even get the chance to say thank you. It makes the thank you less authentic. If someone does the premature you're welcome I WILL NOT say thank you even if I planned on it in the first place. It REALLY grinds my gears 😤
Some women were raised seeing "ride or die" relationships to where they stick around no matter what. And even if they are TOLD one way..they learned and observed neither way growing up. It's much deeper. I love how yall communicate!
I feel like Josh needs to ask more of those ignorant questions and please don’t get offended when he does cause I peeped the shift before you even verbalized it lol. I feel like this could be another segment that could be added. There should definitely be more balance when it comes to men and women problem discussions
“that’s how y’all are trained to think that’s not how people train us to think.” a word. previous generations were told to stick it out regardless. we’ve had to learn ourselves.
I understand what Isi was saying, i slightly agree with josh though. If men are raised knowing their worth, why shouldn’t women. It’s the same argument as not accepting the “that’s just how I am” narrative. Even if a woman doesn’t know her worth or wasn’t raised to, its her responsibility to do the self work to get there. If you don’t know your worth you can’t expect a man or any person in general to. It is idealistic to think all women should just change and do better (especially bc folks situations are different), but there nothing wrong with planting the seed and provoking thought, that all women should know what their worth and not take nonsense.
Exactly! Once you know your worth you won’t settle for BS! Male or female. Josh’s POV wasn’t ignorant at all! He’s a man of understanding. Not tolerating or accepting BS signifies “understanding.” Isi was kind of projecting from a personal standpoint here. If something is wrong, it’s wrong. Point blank period.
Yess !! I hope she sees this Bc I feel like I’m a way it’s like he can’t really say anything Bc she just keeps shutting down what he says as being ignorant 😭
My opinion: women’s influence on each other really drives their decisions. Whenever something happens in a woman’s life, we usually seek out other women for advice (good or bad). We take other women’s experiences and try to apply it to our lives whether it makes logical sense or not and men don’t operate like that. If men are done, they are done.. it doesn’t matter what their friends, family members or anyone else says. When I put out my ex-husband for cheating on me, my mother and I butted heads FOR A YEAR because she couldn’t understand why I wouldn’t take him back. She tried her hardest to get me to take him back and would have conversations with me about her experiences and fears. But I held my ground and didn’t let her influence me. Some women can’t do that because it’s hard. It’s hard to stand up against people you love and respect and their influences + emotions can make you do things you know logically don’t make no damn sense.
I fully understand what you're saying and you are right a lot of women can't handle other women not agreeing with their decisions, but if you know you are not being treated correctly, leave.
Just adding to the conversation. When Josh said “if someone’s not treating you right, move on.” TOTALLY agree with that but as women, it almost feels like most guys wanna play games. After meeting a bunch of men who do you wrong and treat you the same way, for a moment, it starts to feel like “this is just the best im gonna get”, “all the good guys are gone” , “is this all?” And even though people should want more out of their relationships, I can see how some women settle. Now I definitely want more out a relationship than surface level shit but I’ve been through the “questioning” phase like I said before plenty of times.
married at first site is my showwww. i love watching it with my mom. the conversations we have around it are always top tier. i learn so much and am able to open her eyes to a new perspective sometimes.
That conversation correcting Josh's approach to the women accepting nonsense in relationships was really well done! If I were Isi, I think the comparison that I would've made when he said "if women just band together and stop accepting the BS from men, then things could change" is that people from places of privilege often don't understand the intersection of systems of oppression. I've gotten similar questions from my white female peers in reference to the racism that POCs endure. "If all POCs just banded together then racism would be gone". One, that's not how reality works and two since you are privileged enough to not endure that type of discrimination the best thing you can do is be a listening ear to correct your own biases. And, he did correct himself! Really enjoyed this :)
I'm a semi newbie who have watched and binged alot oldies for about 8months. I Love yall as a couple however, I was alittle upset with the energy sift Isi had. I get alot of the points Isi made and she is correct but what I didn't like is the energy that Josh had to walk on egg shell if he says or does the wrong thing. That's NOT COOL how it came off. The "Thank You" differences wasn't that serious, then the question about intuition of women along with some other post, He seems to have to walk very lightly. I KNOW you explained why your energy shifted so quickly but he had to really explain himself when it was a conversation of growth for both of you. You did say later that you know him and his heart but if that's the case why the negative energy shift if you know he wasn't coming from a bad place. I think you guys as a Whole Sum are Amazing and I know you guys will make it fine but Isi let up alittle off Josh. You are one of a few Black Women who have a GOOD BLACK MAN. Now it's doesn't mean let him get away with things that's TRULY serious but be careful with the critiques of every little thing he does him. It's like who waiting to correct him about something. Don't get so comfort with "Training Him" that he starts to secretly hold back somethings for having walk on egg shell. Sheesh, I felt that cold stinging negative shift and this vlog is four days later recorded. I don't mean any harm at all. Its does come off as Entitled and Self Absord (just my opinion). I pray your marriage is blessed and You two WIN for GOD as examples, Yourselves, & Black Love sake because we NEED more Black Couples as an example of Healthy Relationship on the mainstream stage... So many of us have never seen it!!!
I really needed this podcast. I’m not really feeling my ex but I was going to give him another chance because a lot of men don’t care for or respect women at all and I was tired even though I’m content with being alone, it was hard to let go of the future I envisioned with him, but I’m going to let him go for my mental health. He didn’t cheat though but he has red flags and is very passive aggressive and sets out to purposely hurt my feelings when he was upset, but he supported me and took care of me, even though I can take of myself, it was still nice.
I agree with Josh. We have so much power we just don't use it. Say it like you said it, don't sugarcoat it. If someone would have gave it to us straight when we where little girls ,Josh wouldn't have to give it to us straight right now. To Isi..yes women that know their worth don't stay for the BS. It's not about having options because being a women, you will always have options. Stop staying with someone just to say you got someone. Just to flex cause all your girls got someone. or cause you don't think you deserve better. ...and at that point you need to be by yourself to find out why you feel you don't deserve more than the trash that's given. You won't attract nothing good cause you don't even know what you require. Also regardless of whoever the man...women set the tone. I've seen one man treat one woman different than the next woman. It's what that woman required and he couldn't come incorrect. Some women are savage now days they will leave you for your daddy if you are not acting right. No one is sitting here for these games.
I just love how that end conversation happened, especially with the respectful correction and reflection. That’s A1 communication right there! Love it!!!
I genuinely enjoyed this! I saw the Stella Rose and got me a glass too. It’s me sipping and talking to y’all like y’all can hear me for me. Keep em coming babes!
I do find it odd that in response to a positive and healthy conversation about something that is a trend within the community and without, that people wish for women's faults to be spoken of. This wasn't about anyone's toxicity but about why women, particularly black women, almost collectively make poor choices in regards to their partners that contradict their own intuition. No one is being bashed. It's a truth. The way the issue was disseminated was intelligent and sensitive. It looked into the heart of a very complex matter. It belittles the authenticity and positivity to ask for a discussion on women's toxicity as a response. It is also quite revealing of the very enculturated characteristics that were discussed.
I'm so glad you said this, I find it so weird that people are capping for Josh and Isi to have a more "balanced" approach. It seems like a camouflage to push for more women bashing segments. I think this video was so organic and truthful. Josh asked Isi a question and she responded in a beautiful and truthful way, she taught him in real time. Even they said they don't come up with the topics beforehand. So pls
I really think that a lot of the time we look at end results or end actions and we try to find solutions to that. But we forget that there are past events and SYSTEMS that are in place and have LED to those actions and end results. I loved this conversation. 100% real.
I love this new set-up guys! Isi thank you for representing us. The way you broke it down and explained to Josh what we go through on the daily as women and more importantly Black women was brilliant. Josh thanks for being understanding and welcoming to shifting your perspective on this topic! This is a QUALITY channel with QUALITY content, can't wait to see more ❤️
You guys should continue this conversation, it’s interesting hearing how men and women think and their different views of the world. My input on the topic: I think as men at least the way I was raised is that you are expected to handle most/all things financially in addition to being emotionally available. And if you can then you don’t have to settle, deal with unwanted behavior like cheating bc you have to provide anyway so you can find someone else that can be faithful. That’s just an example.
in a way i definitely agree with what josh was saying w the thank you portion of the vid. i remember this scenario from years ago where i got a ride to a volleyball tourney from my friends mom, and at first when i got in the car i said hello and asked how they were and let the conversation stem from there because that's just what made sense to young me. when we got the building i got out and said thank you guys i appreciate it and i thought that was that. the next day my friend mentions to me how her parents were upset i didn't say thank you the moment i stepped in the car and that i waited until after i got out and i was sooo confused. to me it just makes sense to say thank you after i can't really explain why but that has really stuck with me and now i feel kind of pressured to say thank you so quick with every thing, i even catch myself saying thank you multiple times for the littlest thing lmaoo
Idk I didn’t find anything wrong with what Josh said or his wording of the questions. It’s a valid thought to have, and I think a lot of women find themselves asking the same questions when they see other women in their life settling for men that keep treating them bad.
I agree with you. I was raised with the mindset like Josh said. If it’s not serving me I leave it alone but I do see the point of the small dating pool. I just think what God has for me will come.
I 100% agree and the way he phrased it to me did not seem like it was a huge issue. I’ve asked myself and friends the same questions in the past. I also 100% agree with Isi’s response on how women choose to ignore the bad and focus on the good. As women we have to do better. When someone reveals their true colors don’t go try and paint another picture with them.
I honestly never thought I could love you guys even more but these talks have ben so eye opening and I really enjoy this series with you guys! Keep em comin
I can totally relate to what Isi was saying about women being trained to see the good in people. Our future women need to question and be consciously skeptical UNTIL someone actually is deserving of their trust. And we fault that on being inexperienced... when really it comes from whether or not the father figure on our lives instilled that within us and whether or not we accepted that lesson. Its almost as if we ride on our intuition so well that when it comes to love which makes us blind, we forget how to make use of anything else (like using simple logic instead of our intuition).
I love the wisdom gems 💎dropped in this video. I can tell Josh & Isi are both emotionally intelligent and mature individuals. Their mindset are very similar, and the respect, understanding and connection they have for each other is truly amazing. I can see that intellectually-stimulating communication is key in their relationship, and I'm learning a lot from every video they release. I'm a teen (16), and I love deep useful conversations. I usually consider myself as someone who love the inside part of things than the outside, so this was refreshing for me to see. That's why I love their channel so much and it cannot be compared to any other channels out there. There's something special about Josh and Isi. I love their mission on TH-cam & vibe overall. Thank you Josh & Isi for all the inspiration and energy. ❤❤❤❤
I feel like we do not overlook the bullshit, we just give benefit of the doubt. Especially when we are younger, we do not want to disregard a person over feelings when a person has not done anything. Now that I'm older I am learning the importance of intuition and how energy does not lie
These authentic conversations that yal are doing are GREAT! It's so good to see a couple disagree on camera and work through understanding one another with no fluff. Yal are on the right track for marriage. Can't wait until yal move into the next stage! Keep having these conversations. Keep showing folks that disagreements don't have to be loud and ugly.
Okay, last comment! 🙈😅 Josh and Isi legit just taught me how to have a disagreement or different perspective and actually sit and talk through it rather than running away or feeling like the relationship is going to fall apart because we don’t agree on something. These kind of conversations make me uncomfortable (and sometimes scared) in my own life, but listening to y’all work through it (even while tired for that matter) showed me it’s okay to disagree but still leave TOGETHER. Love that.😊
Thank you so much for this video. You guys always bring new perspectives to me and I appreciate it because now I’m able to see things in a different light now.
About the "thank you" convo: First, I'll point out that i agreed with Isi. I was raised with a "thank you" on my lips as long as I could remember. But If you say "thank you" automatically, are you really thankful? Like are you saying thank you from your real, authentic self or are you just saying it automatically "because you were raised like that"? Idk this really got me thinking. Saying thank you with intention means more to me than a simple thank you because it seems right. I understand the manners aspect but since its been rooted into a lot of peoples childhood it becomes as often as the word "the". I like Josh's intention behind it. It holds more meaning. But even when someone chooses not to say it or even be thankful, does it hurt our pride? I had to sit with this one a bit. Why does it hurt? I come from a place where whether they say thanks or not I'd still help. I think there some things i have to let go. It can easily turn into an unnecessary and petty grudge. This doesn't mean to only say thank you when you feel that you should be thankful, but rather say thank you with more intention. This is why it's also good to say something after the thank you (i.e thank you for opening the door for me). Being more mindful really makes a difference. And another thing, when you are the receiver of the "thank you" how often do we feel "thanked"? We say your welcome and nobody thinks twice🤔. Is it me or does that word sometimes fall into deaf ears? Anyways i say all that to say is Josh i see your intention behind what you are saying. Just because we are raised a certain way, doesnt mean we always have to follow. Idk i could be wrong. It's just a thought 💭
Really loving the growth!!! I just have to say though, especially looking at all the comments about how these videos seem to be focusing more on men’s faults and that when the women’s faults were brought up they were dismissed…this is what Kevin Samuels does. He was focusing on men for so long and then moved to females and the problems/toxicity that they bring to relationships also. Y’all could be the couple version that actually does a nicer delivery. But we’ve got to talk about female toxicity ESPECIALLY black women bc no one wants to talk about it and it’s a huge part of the problem also with black relationships
i agree. i don’t think it’s that we don’t see it, it’s that we try so hard to overlook it. we’re sometimes too attached to the “potential” of someone. we want to see it through unfortunately. it’s not a reason to stick around but unfortunately that’s how some women operate. we settle way too often. we’re naturally more nurturing so there’s always that part that wants to “train them up” i guess. it’s definitely starting to change though. we’re moving away from that thankfully but i feel older women are really stuck in this.
What someone “wants” in a partner is not always what they need in a long lasting relationship. I think it’s easier to create an algorithm based on someone’s “wishlist” but I feel like you never know what you need in someone until you meet that perfect person for you and I necessarily don’t believe that’s something that can be calculated. If it so happens to work out that way I believe it was destined to happen anyway.
Love shows even game shows are only as good as the people are genuine. Like there’s usually a good example of a couple genuinely interested in the experience.
Wow I really enjoy watching this couple and I feel like I've learned so much about how to healthily communicate and handle conflict. It's something I've always struggled with in my relationships and I aspire to be able to be this classy and respectful in the way i interact with my partner
I truly loved how the conversation went. I appreciate Isi educating Josh on how the majority of women are raised differently compared to men, especially when it comes to knowing their worth. However, I would love to hear from the perspective of a girl growing up and seeing the toxic traits in BOTH parents/guardian(s) and also from the perspective of seeing the woman be the one who holds the power in the relationship and the man doesn't always stand up for himself or his kids (like the guy from the movie "The Best Man"). Either way, can't wait for more #winedowns!!
I love what Josh said about women banding together and forcing men to act right. I’ve had those same exact sentiments recently. Some back story I recently getting back into the dating world and feel like most guys expect you to just come over and Netflix and chill 🥴. Likeeee what happened to dates, do those exist anymore? But I just find it interesting so many women put up with and accept this behavior. And now someone else comes along unwilling to Netflix and chill and is looked at like the problem. Why? Because every other woman is okay with and accepting worse than the bare minimum. Anyway I’m done ranting cause I can continue forever. Ladies stay safe out here and hold your standards! Don’t be giving out the cat for free like it’s from a shelter 😂
This is definitely on the top of my favorite vids from them bc it’s OKAY to NOT know and it’s okay to ask questions but that’s so true that you have to have the conversation first on both sides and THIS (Josh and Isi) is how adults thats WOKE to the energy of both genders act and I commend yallll like okay pop off 👏🏽👏🏽🥺
I love the fact that you guys give each other perspective and josh I understand where you were coming from in asking the question but I do agree with Isi on the fact that you could’ve worded it better. But this is the process of learning new perspectives one person poses questions or concepts for the other person to unravel and a new perspective is formed for the person who posed the question. Then that person will then try to understand the new perspective that is put in front of them. I was kinda of in that type of situation where the person I was with had very good qualities initially but it wasn’t until he broke up with me that I realized that during that relationship he actually started to show me his toxic traits which was being so hooked and focused on appearance.If any one is going through this situation where someone is so fixated on your appearance or weight then I personally feel like you should leave that person because that is something that you do or change for yourself and nobody else.
Sorry, Isi normally I would be on your side with the conversation, but I agree with Josh even in his delivery because we as women need to wake up and listen to our intuition whether we have been taught it or not. We as women need to stop using 'not being taught' as an excuse. There is a saying my parents would tell us as children, "Whatever I don't teach you at home, the world will" and the world has taught us even if the parents haven't and we still have these excuses for staying with no good men, and it goes the same way with men too, they'll stay with no good women even though they know too. On the other hand, sometimes we do need to give a person a chance to grow and change, some people have to be taught and you have to be willing to teach them.
I really absolutely love that josh and isi are friends level and relationship level. I really try to think and help my self in my own relationship, but man o man is it difficult. Self worth, knowing better, and personality though the years. It’s hard to make a decision.
My biggest take away was humility, y’all really embody that so well and listening to y’all breakdown these topics in an honest and open way is really empowering
I didn't think I was gonna agree with Josh but he has a point. My "thank you" is going to be sincere, specific and not at all a "reaction" but a proper response to the situation. You make me food and it's trash = Thank you (for you EFFORTS, plz don't cook for me again) You make me food and it's fire = Thank you (for THE FOOD, cook for me again) You make me food and it's poisoned = *silence cause ya killed me*
So when josh goes to the restaurant and the waiter gives him the food, he doesn’t say thank you until after?? What about fast food ? Will you eat the food and come back and say thank you? Josh no
Thank you for this conversation. It really gave me the the ability to see a path towards this type of difficult discourse. There can be so much trauma involved that the defensiveness of the woman and unwillingness of a man to set aside the presumptive stance that nothing is heard or learned. This was actually a beautiful moment that actually gives me hope that partnership is possible without the woman just suppressing the truths of her experience that make for uncomfortable confrontation. I am astounded at how you can be able to communicate with so much depth, trust, and honesty at such a young age. Perhaps a sign of evolving emotive and socializing intelligence of younger generations. Rock on!
i feel like we often clap for Josh when he drops intellectual gems, but huge s/o to Isi for correcting / educating Josh in the most classy, uplifting way:)
That's that real woman energy 🙌🏾👏🏾
So true. She brought truth with wisdom and power of an ancient.
💯💯💯
Hard facts !
That's a real virgo & aquarius ❤💪
Idk if it’s the wine or the unplanned approached but I loveee this authentic content. I love hearing them disagree and understand each other and learn on the spot. It’s so refreshing.
Definitelyyy
The mics >>> i can listen while I’m driving and it’s loud and clear through the speakers which i LOVE🥲
Ok but the name“winedown “ is genius
It’s from Insecure
I can add from Isi's perspective. My dad was emotionally unavailable, verbally abusive, and intimidating. Personally, I internalized the way I saw my mom being treated and thought it was the best I could hope for. Subconsciously, I chose guys who acted just like him but came in a package that made the dysfunction more palatable. When you get tired of hurting, you finally move on. Too many of us have a high tolerance for emotional pain so rock-bottom in a relationship may require a lot to arrive to.
I must relate . Thanks for this comment. I just realized that I haven't been with someone who wasn't that way
That’s a very good quote “grass is greener where you water it” I love that Josh
I want to see a segment of you guys talking about how women can be toxic in situations and ruin relationships for themselves
JUST CAME FROM ISI’S HYGIENE VIDEO 💖💖💖💖
Me too!
Yesss
Same!!
Samee siss🙌🏾
Same
I love that isi mentioned how hard it is to date within your race for black women… on top of wondering if he dates black Women, a lot of us also have to consider does he date dark skinned or brown skinned women
Or even looks. If you don’t have the bbl body or a certain hair type that makes the pool even smaller
Look you guys having black men checking for you and have you guys ever think that guys that want you are overlooked because most of you want a particular type of black man that its add to you guys missing out on men that can be good for you
Which is ridiculously damn sad
I agree with Josh in regards to thanking someone. When someone just automatically says “you’re welcome”, they didn’t give me the time to be thankful for the action they did. For example, when I got gifts for Valentine’s Day last year, i was soaking in the moment, the generosity, and the thought of the gifts that I didn’t say thank you right away. Of course I said thank you, but saying thank you automatically doesn’t feel like I’m saying it from a genuine place since I haven’t had the time (even if it’s like a minute or so) to be thankful for someone else’s actions. However, when it comes to like opening the door or passing items to someone, I say thank you right away. I think it depends on the situation for me.
I feel like part of women’s intuition and ending up with bad men is tied into what you saw growing up. Intuitively you know it’s wrong, but it’s also all that you know. People don’t like change unconsciously because it’s uncomfortable, so they lean toward what they know. They go into that situation knowing it’s wrong but thinking that this time I can work the situation out. Kind of like a trauma or PTSD, you revisit those uncomfortable memories with your new relationships and try to get a different outcome. And for the women who may even go on to marry one of these men, after a while not being able to change the outcome lowers your self confidence and you start to believe that this is what you deserve.
Sooooo true !!!! 💯 it’s so heartbreaking, I hate this for us !! 😩
We also are in a society where pressure is placed on the woman to either "Do better or get over it". Many have a ,"You want better? Then shush and find it already." attitude when women are involved in the conversation. I blame the horrible men for being horrible to their women, not the women for staying with said horrible man. We've become complacent as a whole when it comes to sour behavior on men's side. We want women to stand up, but stay quiet. Be strong but not too strong where weaker men feel replaced. Stay feminine but feminine is weak. Be confident but not too much, because then men are allowed to humiliate and "humble" you. That's just my 2 cents though
I agree, there are various factorrs actually. One of them (Isi also named it) is also rooted in the status or role/place of women in society. For a very long time women had to marry a man to survive and it is just recently that we can get education, a job, a house and even kids without a man (in your life). The whole dynamic of a woman and the meaning of her value is shifting due to emancipation. Would be nice to dive deeper in this at a next #winedown. Something I noticed is that Josh said that women need to stand together and hold echt others hands against patriarchy and toxic masculinity. I agree a 100% that we should not tollerate it and change our mindset, level of self love, behaviour and response. But, as Isi said it is deeper than that, but I believe it is a nessecary step and an important start! Nevertheles... What about the preditors responsibility? We need allyship to get sustainable change? Man should learn and unlearn each other within their circles/communities. I believe all woke man should correct them brothers, that is how we impact patriarchy from both sides.
Women see the good in men. We tend to focus on a man's POTENTIAL and feeling like one day he will be who we want him to be. Women SETTLE, black women SETTLE all the time until we get so tired, being single is far better than being in a relationship.
Most women are more emotional. By the time we really start seeing red flags, our feeling are already involved 😃 so it’s harder to remove yourself from that person exhibiting those red flags. And also, in certain situations I think it comes down to low self worth if you’re ignoring certain red flags.
Women also have intuition or what is also called 'a sixth sense." That 'gut feeling'. That whisper that some ignore until it becomes loud screams.
Women aren't more emotional they learned to be more emotionally open
@@tinymegazell6060 okay yea you said it better 😭 you’re right
I can never stop looking at ISI , she’s so GORGEOUS 😍💖
Yep! I only come on to see Isi hair, nails, and outfit 😂
I 100% agree with Josh’s statement “it’s not worth your time” Black women please don’t settle because you think that man is your only option. NO THAT IS FALSE. There is a man out there that will love you unconditionally. NEVER 👏🏾SETTLE 👏🏾LADIES 👏🏾
Loved the conversation, but when it comes to women staying with horrible men it's so many factors and I get how its hard to understand but it's very intersectional, for example bad relationship models parents not really teaching how to select a good partner, having parents that are unhappy but staying in a marriage, narcissitic or manipulative personalities or partners create trauma bonds, gaslighting creates low self esteem, many women even the most powerful and confident can get manipulated by someone they love, societal expectations that women should hold it down, keep the peace, be patient and grow with their partner, lack of support system or people around them, good examples of relationships, the list can keep going. But Josh you're a GREAT man, but TRUST I don't think you all know just how manipulative and calculated men can be when it comes to dating and trying to keep a woman. At the end of the day women are and WILL learn their worth and value and begin to raise their standards because the age we are moving into we are realizing we are worth so much more! Things are changing and to all the women out there, I know its hard to leave a partner you love but you deserve so MUCH MORE! I love you all
AMEN SISTER!!!!
That is a word
What’s your opinion on black women dating down? Because Black Men do it all the time. I ask that question because of isi statement off of Serena Williams.
You are so right. A lot of men ascribe a straightforwardness of intention to men that isn't at all reflective of reality. Doing that thoroughly simplifies women's motives and the choices they make.
Amen !!
👏👏 Yes you put what I was trying to say into words
“That’s how y’all were trained to think that’s not how WE were trained to think “ Isi said something with that fr
I love Josh and isi but I never hear them talk about toxic females traits in a relationship or female ignorance. It has come up, but I hope they add more to that. As women we are quick to correct the other person regardless and I would like a balance. Lets talk about women in relationships. Like in this video #winedown
YESSSSSS!!! Masculinity isn't always toxic... there should be a balance and how us females have our bad traits.. So happy you said this!
I agree!
I definitely get Isi’s point about how women aren’t necessarily taught their worth when it comes to relationships HOWEVER we have to stop allowing us to put us at a stand still. We need to tell each other the truth to be honest. Its no one’s fault that they were taught to stay in a bad relationship, but it is your fault once it is explained to you and you keep making the same decision.
Can we talk about also part of the reason women don’t walk away is because people will look at it like, “you were just with Paul yesterday, now you’re with Daniel” like people view the amount of men you talk to as sleeping with them, which for women is a no, for men you’re the man
I def think y’all should check out this podcast on TH-cam called “everything is we”. I think you both may like them. They’re a married couple and talk about things they’ve learned through marriage and I know you both are moving into that stage of life.
And Vicky and Cam are in Illinois suburbs
I would love to see them do something together.
I love that podcast!
I totally understand what Josh said. Because sometimes even as a woman I be wondering why do women stay in certain situations and them I realize I can't judge because I've never been in a relationship where I've been treated terribly the one I'm in right now is almost perfect for both of us so it's hard to see from another woman's perspective
Hey Josh and Isi, I don’t know if y’all remember but I actually sent in this idea for #winedown, so glad y’all decided to go through with it
They may have gotten the idea from all over the internet. If you Google or search TH-cam, there's a lot of people who already do "wine down" content.
@@MenaVee while I agree, a couple days after I suggested it, in a blog they mentioned that a follower of josh gave them the wine down idea! Not claiming rights to the name lol
Vlog
@@oumoudiallo4395 Good stuff! 👍🏽
I really understood josh’s question bc i also find myself asking that question with my female friends/family members but i love how Isi answered this question. I love this. More videos like this guys 💗
Don’t do Ms.Isi!! She had it right with “Parisian”! That is a word denoting that one is from Paris, just as you would say a Chicagoan. 😌
Yessss
As a woman, I actually was not specifically taught my worth, more like indirectly. It was more of me teaching myself that I WILL NOT ACCEPT THE BULLSHIT lol. Women you are beautiful, kind, strong, powerful, don't settle for the bare minimum.
Oh no Isi! I'm with Josh on the premature thank you entitlement. I can't stand when someone says you're welcome before I even get the chance to say thank you. It makes the thank you less authentic. If someone does the premature you're welcome I WILL NOT say thank you even if I planned on it in the first place. It REALLY grinds my gears 😤
Some women were raised seeing "ride or die" relationships to where they stick around no matter what. And even if they are TOLD one way..they learned and observed neither way growing up. It's much deeper. I love how yall communicate!
I feel like Josh needs to ask more of those ignorant questions and please don’t get offended when he does cause I peeped the shift before you even verbalized it lol. I feel like this could be another segment that could be added. There should definitely be more balance when it comes to men and women problem discussions
I just like the fact that you both are evolving together. High Velocity energy. 🤜🤛
Another problem is that women date potential and think they can ‚change‘ the bad sides of the man to good ones. It is a very difficult topic!
“that’s how y’all are trained to think that’s not how people train us to think.” a word. previous generations were told to stick it out regardless. we’ve had to learn ourselves.
Y’all voices are PERFECT for microphones. Y’all voices are nice anyway but these mics just accentuate It and I love It! And I love y’all 💕
I understand what Isi was saying, i slightly agree with josh though. If men are raised knowing their worth, why shouldn’t women. It’s the same argument as not accepting the “that’s just how I am” narrative. Even if a woman doesn’t know her worth or wasn’t raised to, its her responsibility to do the self work to get there. If you don’t know your worth you can’t expect a man or any person in general to. It is idealistic to think all women should just change and do better (especially bc folks situations are different), but there nothing wrong with planting the seed and provoking thought, that all women should know what their worth and not take nonsense.
Exactly! Once you know your worth you won’t settle for BS! Male or female. Josh’s POV wasn’t ignorant at all! He’s a man of understanding. Not tolerating or accepting BS signifies “understanding.” Isi was kind of projecting from a personal standpoint here. If something is wrong, it’s wrong. Point blank period.
Yess !! I hope she sees this Bc I feel like I’m a way it’s like he can’t really say anything Bc she just keeps shutting down what he says as being ignorant 😭
My opinion: women’s influence on each other really drives their decisions. Whenever something happens in a woman’s life, we usually seek out other women for advice (good or bad). We take other women’s experiences and try to apply it to our lives whether it makes logical sense or not and men don’t operate like that. If men are done, they are done.. it doesn’t matter what their friends, family members or anyone else says. When I put out my ex-husband for cheating on me, my mother and I butted heads FOR A YEAR because she couldn’t understand why I wouldn’t take him back. She tried her hardest to get me to take him back and would have conversations with me about her experiences and fears. But I held my ground and didn’t let her influence me. Some women can’t do that because it’s hard. It’s hard to stand up against people you love and respect and their influences + emotions can make you do things you know logically don’t make no damn sense.
I fully understand what you're saying and you are right a lot of women can't handle other women not agreeing with their decisions, but if you know you are not being treated correctly, leave.
This right here, this comment!! This is it! Yes, period and thank you. 👍🏾
I feel like a topic or question could be: when men say “you could smile more”, “smile for me”, “you’ll look more beautiful if you smile”
looool Parisian is an actual term for people that come from Paris, France. Isi had it right the first time
I like your conversation about Josh’s approach to the topic. Very calm, collective and healthy.🥰
I can’t drink yet so I got some cranberry juice instead 🍷😂
Girl same😭
You ain't missing nothing...
Isi is actually right. People that ARE from Paris ARE parisians.
‼️
Yea and I was wondering why Josh was laughing, she's correct
Just adding to the conversation. When Josh said “if someone’s not treating you right, move on.” TOTALLY agree with that but as women, it almost feels like most guys wanna play games. After meeting a bunch of men who do you wrong and treat you the same way, for a moment, it starts to feel like “this is just the best im gonna get”, “all the good guys are gone” , “is this all?” And even though people should want more out of their relationships, I can see how some women settle. Now I definitely want more out a relationship than surface level shit but I’ve been through the “questioning” phase like I said before plenty of times.
Blind ASMR is very on brand like, making the trends more fun. I’d watch for sure.
married at first site is my showwww. i love watching it with my mom. the conversations we have around it are always top tier. i learn so much and am able to open her eyes to a new perspective sometimes.
I'm screaming!!!!!!!!! The catchy name, the vibe, the sound, this new route. I'm here for alllllllllll of it!
That conversation correcting Josh's approach to the women accepting nonsense in relationships was really well done! If I were Isi, I think the comparison that I would've made when he said "if women just band together and stop accepting the BS from men, then things could change" is that people from places of privilege often don't understand the intersection of systems of oppression. I've gotten similar questions from my white female peers in reference to the racism that POCs endure. "If all POCs just banded together then racism would be gone". One, that's not how reality works and two since you are privileged enough to not endure that type of discrimination the best thing you can do is be a listening ear to correct your own biases. And, he did correct himself! Really enjoyed this :)
I'm a semi newbie who have watched and binged alot oldies for about 8months. I Love yall as a couple however, I was alittle upset with the energy sift Isi had. I get alot of the points Isi made and she is correct but what I didn't like is the energy that Josh had to walk on egg shell if he says or does the wrong thing. That's NOT COOL how it came off. The "Thank You" differences wasn't that serious, then the question about intuition of women along with some other post, He seems to have to walk very lightly. I KNOW you explained why your energy shifted so quickly but he had to really explain himself when it was a conversation of growth for both of you. You did say later that you know him and his heart but if that's the case why the negative energy shift if you know he wasn't coming from a bad place.
I think you guys as a Whole Sum are Amazing and I know you guys will make it fine but Isi let up alittle off Josh. You are one of a few Black Women who have a GOOD BLACK MAN. Now it's doesn't mean let him get away with things that's TRULY serious but be careful with the critiques of every little thing he does him. It's like who waiting to correct him about something. Don't get so comfort with "Training Him" that he starts to secretly hold back somethings for having walk on egg shell. Sheesh, I felt that cold stinging negative shift and this vlog is four days later recorded. I don't mean any harm at all. Its does come off as Entitled and Self Absord (just my opinion).
I pray your marriage is blessed and You two WIN for GOD as examples, Yourselves, & Black Love sake because we NEED more Black Couples as an example of Healthy Relationship on the mainstream stage... So many of us have never seen it!!!
AGREED. Let the King inquire. She was a bit much...
I really needed this podcast. I’m not really feeling my ex but I was going to give him another chance because a lot of men don’t care for or respect women at all and I was tired even though I’m content with being alone, it was hard to let go of the future I envisioned with him, but I’m going to let him go for my mental health. He didn’t cheat though but he has red flags and is very passive aggressive and sets out to purposely hurt my feelings when he was upset, but he supported me and took care of me, even though I can take of myself, it was still nice.
I agree with Josh. We have so much power we just don't use it. Say it like you said it, don't sugarcoat it. If someone would have gave it to us straight when we where little girls ,Josh wouldn't have to give it to us straight right now. To Isi..yes women that know their worth don't stay for the BS. It's not about having options because being a women, you will always have options. Stop staying with someone just to say you got someone. Just to flex cause all your girls got someone. or cause you don't think you deserve better. ...and at that point you need to be by yourself to find out why you feel you don't deserve more than the trash that's given. You won't attract nothing good cause you don't even know what you require. Also regardless of whoever the man...women set the tone. I've seen one man treat one woman different than the next woman. It's what that woman required and he couldn't come incorrect. Some women are savage now days they will leave you for your daddy if you are not acting right. No one is sitting here for these games.
Say that ‼️💯
I just love how that end conversation happened, especially with the respectful correction and reflection. That’s A1 communication right there! Love it!!!
I agree with Josh on the thank you convo. That’s how I was raised.
I genuinely enjoyed this! I saw the Stella Rose and got me a glass too. It’s me sipping and talking to y’all like y’all can hear me for me. Keep em coming babes!
Same 🤣 I stay laughing and talking back like they can hear me.
I do find it odd that in response to a positive and healthy conversation about something that is a trend within the community and without, that people wish for women's faults to be spoken of. This wasn't about anyone's toxicity but about why women, particularly black women, almost collectively make poor choices in regards to their partners that contradict their own intuition. No one is being bashed. It's a truth. The way the issue was disseminated was intelligent and sensitive. It looked into the heart of a very complex matter. It belittles the authenticity and positivity to ask for a discussion on women's toxicity as a response. It is also quite revealing of the very enculturated characteristics that were discussed.
I'm so glad you said this, I find it so weird that people are capping for Josh and Isi to have a more "balanced" approach. It seems like a camouflage to push for more women bashing segments. I think this video was so organic and truthful. Josh asked Isi a question and she responded in a beautiful and truthful way, she taught him in real time. Even they said they don't come up with the topics beforehand. So pls
Thank you it's giving pick me
I agree with josh on the “thank you” scenario
I really think that a lot of the time we look at end results or end actions and we try to find solutions to that. But we forget that there are past events and SYSTEMS that are in place and have LED to those actions and end results. I loved this conversation. 100% real.
Josh caught me off guard
“I can thank you for your effort” 😂😭
Isi you are correct, "Parisian" can be used to describe a person from Paris, Just like "New Yorker" is for a person from New York. Love y'all
I love this new set-up guys! Isi thank you for representing us. The way you broke it down and explained to Josh what we go through on the daily as women and more importantly Black women was brilliant. Josh thanks for being understanding and welcoming to shifting your perspective on this topic! This is a QUALITY channel with QUALITY content, can't wait to see more ❤️
You guys should continue this conversation, it’s interesting hearing how men and women think and their different views of the world. My input on the topic: I think as men at least the way I was raised is that you are expected to handle most/all things financially in addition to being emotionally available. And if you can then you don’t have to settle, deal with unwanted behavior like cheating bc you have to provide anyway so you can find someone else that can be faithful. That’s just an example.
in a way i definitely agree with what josh was saying w the thank you portion of the vid. i remember this scenario from years ago where i got a ride to a volleyball tourney from my friends mom, and at first when i got in the car i said hello and asked how they were and let the conversation stem from there because that's just what made sense to young me. when we got the building i got out and said thank you guys i appreciate it and i thought that was that. the next day my friend mentions to me how her parents were upset i didn't say thank you the moment i stepped in the car and that i waited until after i got out and i was sooo confused. to me it just makes sense to say thank you after i can't really explain why but that has really stuck with me and now i feel kind of pressured to say thank you so quick with every thing, i even catch myself saying thank you multiple times for the littlest thing lmaoo
Idk I didn’t find anything wrong with what Josh said or his wording of the questions. It’s a valid thought to have, and I think a lot of women find themselves asking the same questions when they see other women in their life settling for men that keep treating them bad.
I agree ☝️
I agree with you. I was raised with the mindset like Josh said. If it’s not serving me I leave it alone but I do see the point of the small dating pool. I just think what God has for me will come.
I 100% agree and the way he phrased it to me did not seem like it was a huge issue. I’ve asked myself and friends the same questions in the past. I also 100% agree with Isi’s response on how women choose to ignore the bad and focus on the good. As women we have to do better. When someone reveals their true colors don’t go try and paint another picture with them.
I honestly never thought I could love you guys even more but these talks have ben so eye opening and I really enjoy this series with you guys! Keep em comin
I really love you guys for making content at this length 👏🏾it’s so ideal for when you just want to do your hair or etc
I can totally relate to what Isi was saying about women being trained to see the good in people. Our future women need to question and be consciously skeptical UNTIL someone actually is deserving of their trust. And we fault that on being inexperienced... when really it comes from whether or not the father figure on our lives instilled that within us and whether or not we accepted that lesson. Its almost as if we ride on our intuition so well that when it comes to love which makes us blind, we forget how to make use of anything else (like using simple logic instead of our intuition).
I love the wisdom gems 💎dropped in this video. I can tell Josh & Isi are both emotionally intelligent and mature individuals. Their mindset are very similar, and the respect, understanding and connection they have for each other is truly amazing. I can see that intellectually-stimulating communication is key in their relationship, and I'm learning a lot from every video they release. I'm a teen (16), and I love deep useful conversations. I usually consider myself as someone who love the inside part of things than the outside, so this was refreshing for me to see. That's why I love their channel so much and it cannot be compared to any other channels out there. There's something special about Josh and Isi. I love their mission on TH-cam & vibe overall. Thank you Josh & Isi for all the inspiration and energy. ❤❤❤❤
These are whole Podcasts & I'm here for it!!!!
I feel like we do not overlook the bullshit, we just give benefit of the doubt. Especially when we are younger, we do not want to disregard a person over feelings when a person has not done anything. Now that I'm older I am learning the importance of intuition and how energy does not lie
Not me rewinding back to 2:50 to see if Isi actually said "thank you"🤣
Came to the comments to see if anyone else did that and found this comment 😂🤣
Lol.. I don't think she did
27:53 to 28:30 HAS ME SENTTTTTTT 🤣🤣😭 LMAOOOO and Josh looked so clueless lol but Isi is actually right according to google
Damn...I literally just got done with Isi hygiene video...I love this 😂😍
Isi said “YESSS” deep voice 💀💀
These authentic conversations that yal are doing are GREAT! It's so good to see a couple disagree on camera and work through understanding one another with no fluff. Yal are on the right track for marriage. Can't wait until yal move into the next stage! Keep having these conversations. Keep showing folks that disagreements don't have to be loud and ugly.
Love you guys! Can we get the Chicago skyline in the background for the next Wine Down episode? Everybody thumbs up if you agree 😍
Parisean is an actual term Isi 😂 don't let Joshua send you off
😂😂😂
Okay, last comment! 🙈😅 Josh and Isi legit just taught me how to have a disagreement or different perspective and actually sit and talk through it rather than running away or feeling like the relationship is going to fall apart because we don’t agree on something. These kind of conversations make me uncomfortable (and sometimes scared) in my own life, but listening to y’all work through it (even while tired for that matter) showed me it’s okay to disagree but still leave TOGETHER. Love that.😊
Thank you so much for this video. You guys always bring new perspectives to me and I appreciate it because now I’m able to see things in a different light now.
About the "thank you" convo:
First, I'll point out that i agreed with Isi. I was raised with a "thank you" on my lips as long as I could remember.
But If you say "thank you" automatically, are you really thankful? Like are you saying thank you from your real, authentic self or are you just saying it automatically "because you were raised like that"?
Idk this really got me thinking. Saying thank you with intention means more to me than a simple thank you because it seems right. I understand the manners aspect but since its been rooted into a lot of peoples childhood it becomes as often as the word "the". I like Josh's intention behind it. It holds more meaning. But even when someone chooses not to say it or even be thankful, does it hurt our pride? I had to sit with this one a bit. Why does it hurt? I come from a place where whether they say thanks or not I'd still help. I think there some things i have to let go. It can easily turn into an unnecessary and petty grudge.
This doesn't mean to only say thank you when you feel that you should be thankful, but rather say thank you with more intention. This is why it's also good to say something after the thank you (i.e thank you for opening the door for me). Being more mindful really makes a difference.
And another thing, when you are the receiver of the "thank you" how often do we feel "thanked"? We say your welcome and nobody thinks twice🤔. Is it me or does that word sometimes fall into deaf ears?
Anyways i say all that to say is Josh i see your intention behind what you are saying. Just because we are raised a certain way, doesnt mean we always have to follow.
Idk i could be wrong. It's just a thought 💭
Really loving the growth!!! I just have to say though, especially looking at all the comments about how these videos seem to be focusing more on men’s faults and that when the women’s faults were brought up they were dismissed…this is what Kevin Samuels does. He was focusing on men for so long and then moved to females and the problems/toxicity that they bring to relationships also. Y’all could be the couple version that actually does a nicer delivery. But we’ve got to talk about female toxicity ESPECIALLY black women bc no one wants to talk about it and it’s a huge part of the problem also with black relationships
i agree. i don’t think it’s that we don’t see it, it’s that we try so hard to overlook it. we’re sometimes too attached to the “potential” of someone. we want to see it through unfortunately. it’s not a reason to stick around but unfortunately that’s how some women operate. we settle way too often. we’re naturally more nurturing so there’s always that part that wants to “train them up” i guess. it’s definitely starting to change though. we’re moving away from that thankfully but i feel older women are really stuck in this.
What someone “wants” in a partner is not always what they need in a long lasting relationship. I think it’s easier to create an algorithm based on someone’s “wishlist” but I feel like you never know what you need in someone until you meet that perfect person for you and I necessarily don’t believe that’s something that can be calculated. If it so happens to work out that way I believe it was destined to happen anyway.
Love shows even game shows are only as good as the people are genuine. Like there’s usually a good example of a couple genuinely interested in the experience.
Omg they should have a podcast because their voice is so calming and they give great advice
Their love truly is undeniable! its so refreshing! 🥰
Why do I feel like Isi is making her voice softer/quieter for the microphone 😂
Wow I really enjoy watching this couple and I feel like I've learned so much about how to healthily communicate and handle conflict. It's something I've always struggled with in my relationships and I aspire to be able to be this classy and respectful in the way i interact with my partner
Winedown is definitely now my favorite segment of you guys right along with therapy Thursday’s & whip it Wednesday💕✨ and Stella Rosa is so good !!!!
I truly loved how the conversation went. I appreciate Isi educating Josh on how the majority of women are raised differently compared to men, especially when it comes to knowing their worth. However, I would love to hear from the perspective of a girl growing up and seeing the toxic traits in BOTH parents/guardian(s) and also from the perspective of seeing the woman be the one who holds the power in the relationship and the man doesn't always stand up for himself or his kids (like the guy from the movie "The Best Man"). Either way, can't wait for more #winedowns!!
I love what Josh said about women banding together and forcing men to act right. I’ve had those same exact sentiments recently. Some back story I recently getting back into the dating world and feel like most guys expect you to just come over and Netflix and chill 🥴. Likeeee what happened to dates, do those exist anymore? But I just find it interesting so many women put up with and accept this behavior. And now someone else comes along unwilling to Netflix and chill and is looked at like the problem. Why? Because every other woman is okay with and accepting worse than the bare minimum. Anyway I’m done ranting cause I can continue forever. Ladies stay safe out here and hold your standards! Don’t be giving out the cat for free like it’s from a shelter 😂
This is definitely on the top of my favorite vids from them bc it’s OKAY to NOT know and it’s okay to ask questions but that’s so true that you have to have the conversation first on both sides and THIS (Josh and Isi) is how adults thats WOKE to the energy of both genders act and I commend yallll like okay pop off 👏🏽👏🏽🥺
I love the fact that you guys give each other perspective and josh I understand where you were coming from in asking the question but I do agree with Isi on the fact that you could’ve worded it better. But this is the process of learning new perspectives one person poses questions or concepts for the other person to unravel and a new perspective is formed for the person who posed the question. Then that person will then try to understand the new perspective that is put in front of them. I was kinda of in that type of situation where the person I was with had very good qualities initially but it wasn’t until he broke up with me that I realized that during that relationship he actually started to show me his toxic traits which was being so hooked and focused on appearance.If any one is going through this situation where someone is so fixated on your appearance or weight then I personally feel like you should leave that person because that is something that you do or change for yourself and nobody else.
Sorry, Isi normally I would be on your side with the conversation, but I agree with Josh even in his delivery because we as women need to wake up and listen to our intuition whether we have been taught it or not. We as women need to stop using 'not being taught' as an excuse. There is a saying my parents would tell us as children, "Whatever I don't teach you at home, the world will" and the world has taught us even if the parents haven't and we still have these excuses for staying with no good men, and it goes the same way with men too, they'll stay with no good women even though they know too.
On the other hand, sometimes we do need to give a person a chance to grow and change, some people have to be taught and you have to be willing to teach them.
I really absolutely love that josh and isi are friends level and relationship level. I really try to think and help my self in my own relationship, but man o man is it difficult. Self worth, knowing better, and personality though the years. It’s hard to make a decision.
One of y'all definitely watches Insecure with these names 🤣🤍 from the Miami moments to the winedown, I'm loving it.
These talks are good for the soul. Just an honest, genuine, open conversation 🙌🏾
My biggest take away was humility, y’all really embody that so well and listening to y’all breakdown these topics in an honest and open way is really empowering
Love these talks… the way you two talk to each other is beautiful. Definitely another quality video 🙌🏾
I didn't think I was gonna agree with Josh but he has a point. My "thank you" is going to be sincere, specific and not at all a "reaction" but a proper response to the situation.
You make me food and it's trash = Thank you (for you EFFORTS, plz don't cook for me again)
You make me food and it's fire = Thank you (for THE FOOD, cook for me again)
You make me food and it's poisoned = *silence cause ya killed me*
So when josh goes to the restaurant and the waiter gives him the food, he doesn’t say thank you until after?? What about fast food ? Will you eat the food and come back and say thank you? Josh no
Lmao
I totally 100% agree with Josh on the Thank You’s
Thank you for this conversation. It really gave me the the ability to see a path towards this type of difficult discourse. There can be so much trauma involved that the defensiveness of the woman and unwillingness of a man to set aside the presumptive stance that nothing is heard or learned. This was actually a beautiful moment that actually gives me hope that partnership is possible without the woman just suppressing the truths of her experience that make for uncomfortable confrontation. I am astounded at how you can be able to communicate with so much depth, trust, and honesty at such a young age. Perhaps a sign of evolving emotive and socializing intelligence of younger generations. Rock on!
I agree with Josh's thank you philosophy 😂