🚀 Want to know more about how narcissists make you look like you're the the problem? 📣 Join me for my free LIVE masterclass right here! 👉 www.slayyournegotiation.com/rzwebinar
OMG Everything one of those 5 things I have been put thru. I finally left for good and he is now doing all that you have said. A few days ago, he actually sent me a copy of a text that had my name on it like it was between him and I and I NEVER EVER said anything in that text. It even didn't sound the way I text. I found out the way that you can and he did to fudge texts and make it look like it came from someone else. Never in my brain would I think you could do that....wow wow wow. smh. It has been the most horrific 8 years of my life that I cannot believe I wasted. I never knew what a narcissist was till I finally got me and him in therapy. Education on this very sick disorder was what saved me. I am a very empathic girl who is a Paramedic and nurse and just wants to help and save all. I have learned a lot from all your videos. Thank you so much. Please let me know if you do private sessions and how to find out about them. My e mail is JeepGirl3985@yahoo.com. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Ivy
My ex brought me court with a bunch of lies and false facts of a situation. I represented myself and me and the other lawyer had a meeting before the hearing started. I told him about her lies and false information on the story. Her own lawyer exposed her lies during the court hearing. I did not even have to show my evidence. She lost her lawyer after this. Stay strong against these types of people and never back down.
Kevin Geary, how was ot possible that her lawyer exposed her lies in the Court,when was paid from her? I don't get it. Did he wanted to do this or just happened 😳? Glad for you because he did 👍👍
@@ich6636 He started asking her questions about her accusations towards me about the situation. During our meeting before the hearing I told him the things that were lies about her story. When the hearing started he asked her about these specific details. My ex changed her story and told the truth about the situation. Her lawyer told the judge he would have to redact statements from her complant.
Once I have figured them out there is just nothing they can say or do to make me turn a cheek or get up to move a leg... It's quite sad actually to see how false it they are
He would make me crazy when l was in the car going especially to visit. By the time we arrived l would be visually upset and he would be smiling and so together. I stopped riding in the car with him. It made me crazy to see how wonderful everyone thought he was and I couldn't stand to hear him talking. Couldn't get why he did it for a long long time until I happened to find these great videos and my life started making sense I was considered the problem. The last time he made me so crazy I was screaming at him to stop. He was laughing. Sick!!! No more!
I love your videos rebecca.they have helped me out with my narcissist aunt.she told me that the new supply gave her COVID.karma will definitely get them
Thanks for you expertise in this narc nightmare. Married for thirty years six kids two businesses. Last stack call with judge on June 30. Attempted to mediate twice one more attempt to come. She craves the drama and I anticipated she would never mediate. Just practicing your advice about staying the course. Thank you for your counsel.
4:09 2. Accuse you of being abusive 5:56 3. Make you feel like everything is your fault That happened to me. My former coworkers and bosses exactly said such things. Shut them down!
Rebecca this was spot on! I was sucked into someone else's drama and asked to help her get money from a guy who stole from a 12-step program - the biggest mistake of my life. I knew nothing about NPD. All 5 tricks were used by him - baiting me into an argument saying it was my fault, telling everyone I was the abuser while he was stalking me and trying to destroy my reputation (lies, gaslighting), filing false charges with the court (dismissed with prejuudice but costly, he sent 200 emails to my attorney trying to run up the bill), and manipulating evidence (this one got him charged with a 3rd degree felony for witness tampering!). He was able to lie to the court about income and get a court-appointed attorney and drag his tampering case out 16 months, but that lie caught up with him, too. Two years have gone by and now he's AGAIN starting to send me emails - he needs his supply! Thanks to your videos I'm simply doing a "gray rock." Dr Bob, BizCoach
So thankful for you and your knowledge and your revelation of the truth about the abusive narcissist and so many ways to cope with and break free from the hellish nightmare of living through a relationship with an expert narcissist. Sending HUGe hugs 🤗💞💜 I'm beyond grateful for you. To say thank you is an understatement of how much I do. I'm sure many people have been rescued from dangerous and oftentimes deadly situations because of your messages and your heart to help others. Thank you for being there for so many of us. Blessings Always.
Dear Rebecca, I have been watching your videos for a long time & have been grateful for you since I first heard you speak. I have been in horrendous court battle after battle with my narcissistic ex-husband (who also checks the boxes for being a sociopath) for many years now- every since my children & I finally tried to escape his constant physical (choking my young son, hitting, kicking, beating my children (from young ages) & me (since the wedding & throughout my cancer treatments, surgeries, etc.) and psychological abuse 7 years ago. Though he was no longer in the house, his abuse & reign of terror & control continued in many ways that were worse than physical torture. And then the children were ordered to have visitation regularly, including strings of overnights, despite Criminal and Family Court Orders of Protection, and my children & I pleading for their safety. I was repeatedly threatened to back off & told more times than I can count that my ex-husband’s rights were more important than the children’s and that they had no say. Fast forward through many years of hell, and things have reached a point where life feels unbearable to me because of what is happening now. And there’s a trial next week because he has repeatedly used the court system & many forms of abuse & crime to make sure I am penniless, physically sick, suffering from PTSD, frightened & devastated having lost almost everything that I love. I am terrified of the trial, feeling as though there are no local resources to even adequately address who this man is & what he’s done & is capable of… and I feel desperate & helpless to save my kids & myself… There’s much more to the present situation that is too much to share in a comments section, but I am reaching out in the desperate hope that you might be able to contact me & give me some guidance or to hear the rest of our story & maybe give me some strength or hope or something that I need to continue to fight this battle or to not be squashed even further in the trial next week. Please help me & my kids… my email address is Cancerinmythirties@gmail.com Thank you so much for all you do & for the people you help… All my very best…
I too suffered all the same. Took years to finalize the divorce. He controlled our whole marriage, kids, no friends just his friends, and his family welcome. Until one day they realized the truth. The courts saw the truth, and his credibility was finally lost. Never the less I am now completely broke, unable to help my now adult children and myself. Stuck in marital home still with the monster, my boys pleading to help us find another place to live, to finally feel at peace and safe. Still stuck but praying everyday for that day to arrive where we can run and never see him again.
I’m sorry you understand, Carrie. It is a nightmare you never wake up from as long as they have any way to maintain control over us-at least that’s what I’ve found. And it sounds like you are experiencing this & I’m so sorry. People did not understand why It took me so long to get us away from him. But it was because I was terrified of what he’d do to us if we tried to get away. Based on his threats, I knew it would NEVER end & he’d NEVER stop until I was dead. I was right. And that is the 1 promise he’s kept- that if we told about the abuse or tried to get away from him, he would destroy me & take everything-EVERYTHING from me (& my boys if they didn’t help him), and wouldn’t stop until he is standing on my grave. I always said “the devil I know is better than the devil I don’t.” I was terrified of what he’d do to us if we got away or got him away from us. At least when we were physically in his presence, we were aware of his moods & plans for us most of the time, walking on eggshells & anticipating what he was going to do to us. I remember the sadness I felt when I realized that as toddlers my children were already adapting to his moods and that their personalities & behaviors & moods would change when he came in the door. They were already aware on some level that this was what was necessary for their survival. My kids & I were so afraid of the ways he’d ambush & terrorize us if we got “help” for all the abuse. We were right to be terrified. It got so much worse after the police served him with our (the kids were still young but chose to testify alone to get their own Orders of Protection) Orders of Protection. He was never allowed back in the house from that point. A series of Criminal Orders of Protection and Family Court Orders of Protection were necessary over the years based on his arrests & threats & actions. But they did little to protect us. And all his money and my nonexistent funds meant he had well paid lawyers and a criminal defense team, while i could not afford representation to help save my kids. I could go on forever because the nightmare not only continues, but it has gotten worse. I’m so sorry for what you’re going through. I know it feels isolating, but we’re obviously not alone in this suffering. Though I have found little to no local help-even though I know I’m not the only one. Sending you peace & hope that things get better. With a trial next week that is frightening me to death, I have little hope myself. But i can at least say that you’re not alone, someone who understands cares, and I am so sorry for what you & your boys are going through. All my best
All of the above .. with each individual? Thank you ♥️. I’ve been looking to your content for some years now , only hardly to comment . ♥️ love those shorts 😂
I'm dealing with a narcissist that calls me drama when I react to her pathological lying, gaslighting, breadcrumbing, and constant deceit. Most things with her are greatly exaggerated or half truths. She conveniently forgets incriminating things she did or said and tells me to let the past go. She used to disappear for hours and then mention one place she went or stopped at to sound like that's all she did during that whole time. Please share any thoughts.
@@nomnomnommy2955 Long time situationship. She lied to me and was still seeing her kids' dad. When I tried to talk to him, he pulled a gun and then died a few months later from a car accident. Her income doubled from social security money and she lost a bunch of weight and started dying her hair purple and wearing big hoop earrings. I knew she was seeing someone but she denied it and kept breadcrumbing me. This was right before she turned 30 and I eventually found out she was seeing some bad boy type dude. I was seeing other girls, but she did not like that and would say things like have fun with your girlfriend. This girl is always lying about where she is, what she's doing, and other things. It's the epitome of a person's words not lining up at all with their actions. To this day she refers to this bad boy guy as just a friend and claims they don't talk anymore, but who knows. Just over a year ago she said she was at a hotel casino with her cousin, so I made a 2 hour drive and she was there with him. He told me to stay the fuck away from her and got all toughguy in my face but a security guard intervened before it went really bad. He was seeing a younger girl that he had move in with him and now that is not working out. I know this girl is no good for me and is as toxic as they come, but she is very charming and always finds a way to reel me back in whenever I create some distance and then I have to start over again. It's always Hey I have to tell you about some drama with whoever, I'm worried about you and are you Ok, or I need help with this or that. Clearly the best thing would be to cut all contact, focus on bettering myself, enjoy time with my daughter, and work on expanding my business. After years of gaslighting and manipulation, sometimes I feel like she's all I've got. I do have awareness and know what has to be done, but it's easier said than done because of all the history and how I still see the special person she used to be even though that version of her is dead and gone.
I dealt with a narcissist I put them in jail and a restraining order but your video clips are intriguing but then I hear more about what you have to say then I get scared
Been going through a nasty divorce and custody battle for a year now I have literally experienced every single one of these to the T! I finally learned but should have no contacted or grey rocked from day 1
My ex did all of those things and more. It is truly amazing to what extent they will go to in order to get their way and to maintain complete control over you and your life. My ex told me he was going to "own" me for the rest of my natural life, then boasted that I still didn't know, after all those years together, what he had done to me and/or was doing to me. Unfortunately, the Judges and all Attorneys that were in that Court were/are his criminal co-conspirators so I didn't have a chance in hell against any of them in that Court. I am however, a very credible Federal and International Witness/Whistleblower against all of them and their very real worldwide organized crime group. Thank you again, Rebecca! I will Slay this next time in Court, thanks to you and your helpful advice and videos helping me understand what Narcissists are, what Narcissistic Abuse is and what their flying monkeys/criminal co-conspirators are. You are a true gem!
6 months ago I had now Idea of why my wife and I could not find common ground on anything, the constant chaos, gaslighting , guilt, nothing i did was ever enough, I was always in the Dog house for one reason or another. i went to marriage counselling for a year before covid which seemed to make things worse, like the counselling validated my wife's adversarial opinion. These Videos are priceless segments of Sage wisdom and have helped me get my my mind wrapped around the 17 years crazy events and manipulation . i just got divorced and I'm gray Rocking till i get my stuff and then plan "No Contact" I told her I'm getting a RV and gonna wander the earth like Cane in Kung-Fu
The day after our ex business partner submitted lies in a 21 day harbor letter EVERYTHING (evidence)was deleted off my husband's phone... and guess what.... he "gifted" him that phone and is a hacker....
Your are amazing. Every thing you say has been my experience including stealing the funky emails he wrote he stole off my email. No worries I followed your instructions and eventually he faded away from me not being triggered or falling into his fake traps. Thanks
Great insight. "SHUT THEM DOWN!" watch what you do from the beginning of the relationship because they are taking notes and will use those notes against you to make you look bad and make themselves look like the victim saint. Anything you share with them from the time you were born they will take notes and use it against you...They love the control and it's a game to them where they have to win and you lose. When asked why they wrote those notes they would say "Oh I was concerned for you so I wrote those things down, so I wouldn't forget in case in the future you may need help." What a line and a lie. Watch out when you see someone journaling everyday.
But if someone has a normal boring childhood, how do they twist that into something wrong. With the journaling isn't that something someone that has been through abuse would do since the whole gaslighting so a tik tok a lady that went through abuse ended of recording everything so she could know for herself the narc is lying. My self-had a bad teacher were only my work would disappear or him recording wrong grade by "accident " I ended up keeping track of everything In school did throw things away till the end of the school your just in case something was off on report cards
@@bunnyboo6295 At the Space Center when someone said something or did something to me against company policy I would in front of them take notes...they would quit screwing with me immediately. In that way I was protecting myself. A narcissist will use your words or actions against you.
I was in this kind of relationship. We only lived together in my home. But he cheated all the time but when I'd confront him . I was crazy. I don't know what I'm talking about. That I make him get mad and everything was my fault. Ii have to him everything and all he did for me was make me feel like I was ugly. I couldn't get anyone else. He's told friends I was a crazy old bitch and on and on. Finally I got him out but he still makes me feel guilty of everything that happened . Thank god he's gone.
Sneak drinks in and out of my bedroom as I fell asleep I open one of my eyes and caught her to be towing with two drinks in her hands has them to put them like I drink them...
Treat all communications between you and him like you it will be read to a judge. Record ALL interactions. I use the free rev free call app for recording phone calls. At minimum handwrite your responses to complaint and bring to an attorney. Start gathering evidence bc you have 30 days to submit. Remove important documents like tax returns, bank statements, birth certificates to a location he can’t access. Get a credit report for known and UNKNOWN financing. Install exterior security and possibly interior security. I know a man who took ALL of his ex wives shoes and her favorite clothes and burned them, blamed it on the neighbor. He may have installed secret recording devices in your home, watch your back. You can do it!
How can I contact you? I’ve spent two years organizing a case against my ex husband. Covert nightmare. Classic. Times 100. It wasn’t until after my divorce was finalized that this was a personality disorder. Too much to share. Im sure you’re too busy-could you recommend an attorney in the Detroit area. EVERYTHING you’ve mentioned in this video has happened. I’m taking steps to hold him accountable. I’ve had to become objective while creating this motion. Thank you. I’ve stopped giving him less power.
It definitely takes times to reveal the true nature of narcissists, how scheming, deceitful, dishonest and insidious they are. On a hindsight of my personal failure, prepare a couple of recording devices both audio and video and keep them with you whenever the narcissist is on site can help prove your innocence & integrity tremendously afterwards.
My question is are the consciously aware that they are doing these things that all narcissists seem to do? My husband would trigger me and push my buttons in the car on the way to someone’s house to the point where when we got there, I looked like a crazy woman.
He did not want to go really, and was trying to upset you every time so either you would stop asking him to go with you or you would stop going yourself. Like training a dog to obey.
I would say yes. Those people typically believe those behaviours are normal, and that makes them feel like they're justified in whatever they do. They tend to provoke someone close to them when going into a public space because it makes them look better by comparison. It likely serves the function of feeding his need to be seen as "better" than you in some way. While they might not consciously get to choose their personalities, they do get to choose their behaviour. Just because it might be easier/harder for someone to make different choices; in certain situations -- do does not make them any less of a conscious choice that they've made. Don't let them off so easy by thinking otherwise. They know how their actions can hurt the people they care about...they just care themselves more. So there's greater motivation for them to choose those emotionally abusive patterns of behaviour. That's why they don't change.
Omg... the many times I would apologize and accept 100% of fault in a text. He had me so confused from gaslighting. All emotional crap, zero addictions, zero physical abuse. It was mostly devalue and emotional neglect.
so appreciate this and have experienced parallel experiences: devalue and emotional neglect, and then like the video says: they flip the card and make themselves the victim--I also had the "planted seeds..."
I was setup by my ex husband he got Legal Aid from lying saying DA on my part kicked me out of the home & said I left the home when he got two court orders on me non molestation order and an occupancy order he filed for a divorce already had gf all preplanned pre-meditated, I was clear remain in my job with a dbs clean check new home won my kids in court & am a survivor all LIES on his part roll on karma to him he is lower than low 🚩💜😊
Hey there I miss Rebecca how are you from Canada here you know the interesting thing is it is scriptural in the Bible about narcissist from a book that was written in 1611 unbelievable they're really sick I keep praying and asking father God why he doesn't deliver them from all those 30 plus demons that originally stems from the number one thing of trauma
It's happened to me today Rebecca. delivery Donny is a delivery person and he trained some guy who called and told me that I called him six times they counted it and it's the guy I heard me yelling at him. Unbelievable. And he already knows I know that he's a liar
For you are a magnet 🧲 and I am steel for you ❤ are a magnet 🧲 ♥ and I am steel......run run run run away. We could run run run run away 🎶 💪 😏 😎 ✨ 🤪 🎶 💪 😏 😎 ✨ 🤪 🎶 💪 😏 😎 ✨
My ex accused me of emasculating him. So he fooled around with another man’s wife, left me and abandoned the children we just adopted. Wow. Pass the oysters. The judge laughed.
One way to know that you're dealing with a narcissist is when they take, and take, leaving you feeling depleted. Whereas, you'll receive less, and less or nothing in return. 💙TH-camr That Helps People Overcome Toxic Relationships
hi there please help me for 20+ plus years i was been abuse emotional. all that you mentioned pertain to my wife. every falls under her. i want to get a away with it. she is so evil . i just wanted to file for divorce. please help.
👩🏫Rebecca, I know that you were also a former teacher, and I wonder if you ever noticed any narcissistic behavior in students, parents, or principals. I think some of the tips that you give here could apply to school/classroom behavior. I retired from teaching before becoming a paralegal and learned about narcissistic behavior, but I think that this knowledge could improve teaching & learning. 🤔
My ex girlfriend had me arrested for the family violence and I knew she was going to try moving back in so she could steal again and, Thank GOD, they made sure she left the property as I was being taken to jail. Demanded a jury trial and the two officers who took pictures of the black eye shadow with sparkles had developed the pictures and told the judge they wouldn't testify against me. Been on dead docket for four years and she never showed up for any appearance in court. You have that wake up when the jail cell doors slam and you let them go.
This is all true🎯💯💯 . People are becoming more aware of these beings🐉 just be aware and knowledge yourself. This all happen to me. And every one looking at me like I'm the crazy 🤪 one. The joke is on them. LoL 😆 🤣 😂
I have to be the only one on earth to grey rock my moron and end up with his forearm in my mouth, yes I drew blood, In my defense, i was seatbelted to the truck seat, not able to lean forward to reach him. The only way this was possible, he swung his arm across the truck when I tried to turn the volume down in the truck. If i wanted it up, he would have turned it down, i was not winning after he did not like being shut down with a big rock. I am going no contact, but if he handles a pan face and shut down of just a grey rock, imagine what a firm no contact will cause. I can't even list ALL he's got going on in my head to keep track of. He's getting "messy" in his fury! Especially when, for once I held back tears, looked at him and burst out laughing! Yikes!
My brother skipped out on attending our mother's funeral memorial by throwing a tantrum and goading and triggering me to respond. After that he said he felt uncomfortable attending in "light of what happened". Also claimed he was full of 30 yrs of hell and "rage". That came completely from out of the blue. I told him if that is so then did he anytime during those 30 yrs did he seek therapy to deal and move on? Silence on that one. Can't be that much of a hell if you're fine on not getting professional help? (I viewed various videos and quickly realized what he is. I don't think he knows but his techniques of gaslighting and debasement are too polished.) Of course I am the bad guy. He doesn't understand that I am not his priest or therapist and as a family member I prefer not to deal with his obvious personal and marriage issues. He is too cowardly to seek counseling or even deal with his wife on this. So he deflects his rage onto family. I'm trying to figure out is the wife is also a narcissist or a duped flying monkey. He uses his godmother to keep the family under surveillance on his behalf. She calls and does the flying monkey routine of he's all right but at the same time admits that he does not return his calls and treats her like garbage.
No idea what his financial situation is, but if it was truly "hell" that is going to require many years of twice a week therapy. Not everyone can afford that time (off work) and money. I don't know if that applies to your brother's situation or not. (and for true narcissists, it's generally 10+ years of therapy to pierce their reality and begin to feel some empathy for others (this was told to me by 2 different therapists who specialized in treatment of NPD and they also told me that of those who can afford it, most can't stick with it).
@@le_th_ on reflection I have suapected and now know that he has always been a covert narcissist. I remember one time out of university he had employee profiling for a potential job. The company withdrew their offer as their testing showed he lacked empathy as one of his traits. He was disturbed and upset by that assessment. I suspect that as a result he avoids help because of potential bad news it would dredge up. He's 57 yrs old and as Rebecca's videos show as narcissists get that old they become very toxic and nasty. I do not believe he is serious about getting help. I told him during his latest tantrum that he needs professional "therapy" to allow him to move on as a less toxic person. I emphasized the word therapy to him buy my comment only paused him for few seconds in his tantrum but I know that he knows I suspect what's going on. The reason I started digging in and watching videos on this condition is the blatant amount of gaslighting and flying monkey treatment I have received over the same 30 yr time period. I know what gaslighting is as it has become a topic of late in political circles. I am very sensitive to it and always wonder why a person whether in business or family would attempt doing it. Now I know. And I believe narcissism as it is defined is a lot more prevalent in society then we dare to imagine. I am now trying to assess where he is on the spectrum, whether it is spur of the moment man child tantrums or whether it is planned and rehearsed. I have noticed that coworkers of his, that are total strangers to me, are suddenly now checking out my LinkedIn page. Either way I have always had a pretty good BS detector and am fully aware now that I know more thanks to Rebecca Zung.
@@pingechelon9389 Yes, some narcissists really struggle with aging. I mean, it's not "fun" for anyone to lose your strength, muscles, health, and cognitive sharpness, but it's a true ego ding for narcissists who rely on their physical appearance. It can send them into a tailspin IF they were the type to rely one their physical appearance (covert narcissists). Grandiose narcissists tend to rely on their profession accomplishments, wealth, and social status, which tend to be at their peak for this type in their 50s and 60s. Now, things can happen (market crash, bankruptcy, debilitating illness) that alter that for a percentage, but for most grandiose narcissists their career accomplishments peak in their 50s (or even 60s in medicine, law, academia). The mental gymnastics these individuals can never ceases to amaze me. I hope you can find a way to stay away from him and people like him. Wishing you the best~
🚀 Want to know more about how narcissists make you look like you're the the problem? 📣 Join me for my free LIVE masterclass right here! 👉 www.slayyournegotiation.com/rzwebinar
I can't wait to help you get over your fear and break free!
@@RebeccaZungEsq I’m scared that watching videos makes them angry
OMG Everything one of those 5 things I have been put thru. I finally left for good and he is now doing all that you have said. A few days ago, he actually sent me a copy of a text that had my name on it like it was between him and I and I NEVER EVER said anything in that text. It even didn't sound the way I text. I found out the way that you can and he did to fudge texts and make it look like it came from someone else. Never in my brain would I think you could do that....wow wow wow. smh. It has been the most horrific 8 years of my life that I cannot believe I wasted. I never knew what a narcissist was till I finally got me and him in therapy. Education on this very sick disorder was what saved me. I am a very empathic girl who is a Paramedic and nurse and just wants to help and save all. I have learned a lot from all your videos. Thank you so much. Please let me know if you do private sessions and how to find out about them. My e mail is JeepGirl3985@yahoo.com. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Ivy
My ex brought me court with a bunch of lies and false facts of a situation. I represented myself and me and the other lawyer had a meeting before the hearing started. I told him about her lies and false information on the story. Her own lawyer exposed her lies during the court hearing. I did not even have to show my evidence. She lost her lawyer after this. Stay strong against these types of people and never back down.
Totally!
Kevin Geary, how was ot possible that her lawyer exposed her lies in the Court,when was paid from her? I don't get it. Did he wanted to do this or just happened 😳?
Glad for you because he did 👍👍
@@ich6636 He started asking her questions about her accusations towards me about the situation. During our meeting before the hearing I told him the things that were lies about her story. When the hearing started he asked her about these specific details. My ex changed her story and told the truth about the situation. Her lawyer told the judge he would have to redact statements from her complant.
Literally what's happening to me now. It's surreal to say the least.
@@otherside90Stay strong and remember your strength will be in keeping calm.
Once I have figured them out there is just nothing they can say or do to make me turn a cheek or get up to move a leg... It's quite sad actually to see how false it they are
He would make me crazy when l was in the car going especially to visit. By the time we arrived l would be visually upset and he would be smiling and so together. I stopped riding in the car with him. It made me crazy to see how wonderful everyone thought he was and I couldn't stand to hear him talking. Couldn't get why he did it for a long long time until I happened to find these great videos and my life started making sense
I was considered the problem. The last time he made me so crazy I was screaming at him to stop. He was laughing. Sick!!! No more!
Your standing as a lawyer adds a lot of "weight" to your platform about discussing narcissist!!!!🙏🙏🙏 Great job 🙏🙏🙏
I love your videos rebecca.they have helped me out with my narcissist aunt.she told me that the new supply gave her COVID.karma will definitely get them
Thanks for you expertise in this narc nightmare. Married for thirty years six kids two businesses. Last stack call with judge on June 30. Attempted to mediate twice one more attempt to come. She craves the drama and I anticipated she would never mediate. Just practicing your advice about staying the course. Thank you for your counsel.
It’s slow to understand a corrupt mind but you learn. Yep they set you up, the victim has practice experiencing that crazy making.
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4:09 2. Accuse you of being abusive
5:56 3. Make you feel like everything is your fault
That happened to me. My former coworkers and bosses exactly said such things. Shut them down!
I felt like this video was telling the story of my last 5 years
My ex has done everyone of those practices!
Thank You so much!!!
Rebecca this was spot on! I was sucked into someone else's drama and asked to help her get money from a guy who stole from a 12-step program - the biggest mistake of my life. I knew nothing about NPD. All 5 tricks were used by him - baiting me into an argument saying it was my fault, telling everyone I was the abuser while he was stalking me and trying to destroy my reputation (lies, gaslighting), filing false charges with the court (dismissed with prejuudice but costly, he sent 200 emails to my attorney trying to run up the bill), and manipulating evidence (this one got him charged with a 3rd degree felony for witness tampering!). He was able to lie to the court about income and get a court-appointed attorney and drag his tampering case out 16 months, but that lie caught up with him, too. Two years have gone by and now he's AGAIN starting to send me emails - he needs his supply! Thanks to your videos I'm simply doing a "gray rock." Dr Bob, BizCoach
I’ve had the past two one happen to me which is why I no longer work in the local school district. Thank you for this video.
So thankful for you and your knowledge and your revelation of the truth about the abusive narcissist and so many ways to cope with and break free from the hellish nightmare of living through a relationship with an expert narcissist. Sending HUGe hugs 🤗💞💜 I'm beyond grateful for you. To say thank you is an understatement of how much I do. I'm sure many people have been rescued from dangerous and oftentimes deadly situations because of your messages and your heart to help others. Thank you for being there for so many of us. Blessings Always.
Thank you and sending you so much light!
Ditto that!!! Agree Agree!!! 🤗❤️💯💯💯
SHUT THEM DOWN! Thank you so much for sharing this message. Stay blessed 😀
Yes and you too!
Dear Rebecca, I have been watching your videos for a long time & have been grateful for you since I first heard you speak. I have been in horrendous court battle after battle with my narcissistic ex-husband (who also checks the boxes for being a sociopath) for many years now- every since my children & I finally tried to escape his constant physical (choking my young son, hitting, kicking, beating my children (from young ages) & me (since the wedding & throughout my cancer treatments, surgeries, etc.) and psychological abuse 7 years ago. Though he was no longer in the house, his abuse & reign of terror & control continued in many ways that were worse than physical torture. And then the children were ordered to have visitation regularly, including strings of overnights, despite Criminal and Family Court Orders of Protection, and my children & I pleading for their safety. I was repeatedly threatened to back off & told more times than I can count that my ex-husband’s rights were more important than the children’s and that they had no say.
Fast forward through many years of hell, and things have reached a point where life feels unbearable to me because of what is happening now.
And there’s a trial next week because he has repeatedly used the court system & many forms of abuse & crime to make sure I am penniless, physically sick, suffering from PTSD, frightened & devastated having lost almost everything that I love.
I am terrified of the trial, feeling as though there are no local resources to even adequately address who this man is & what he’s done & is capable of…
and I feel desperate & helpless to save my kids & myself…
There’s much more to the present situation that is too much to share in a comments section, but I am reaching out in the desperate hope that you might be able to contact me & give me some guidance or to hear the rest of our story & maybe give me some strength or hope or something that I need to continue to fight this battle or to not be squashed even further in the trial next week.
Please help me & my kids… my email address is Cancerinmythirties@gmail.com
Thank you so much for all you do & for the people you help… All my very best…
I too suffered all the same. Took years to finalize the divorce. He controlled our whole marriage, kids, no friends just his friends, and his family welcome.
Until one day they realized the truth.
The courts saw the truth, and his credibility was finally lost. Never the less I am now completely broke, unable to help my now adult children and myself. Stuck in marital home still with the monster, my boys pleading to help us find another place to live, to finally feel at peace and safe. Still stuck but praying everyday for that day to arrive where we can run and never see him again.
I’m sorry you understand, Carrie. It is a nightmare you never wake up from as long as they have any way to maintain control over us-at least that’s what I’ve found. And it sounds like you are experiencing this & I’m so sorry.
People did not understand why It took me so long to get us away from him. But it was because I was terrified of what he’d do to us if we tried to get away. Based on his threats, I knew it would NEVER end & he’d NEVER stop until I was dead. I was right. And that is the 1 promise he’s kept- that if we told about the abuse or tried to get away from him, he would destroy me & take everything-EVERYTHING from me (& my boys if they didn’t help him), and wouldn’t stop until he is standing on my grave.
I always said “the devil I know is better than the devil I don’t.” I was terrified of what he’d do to us if we got away or got him away from us. At least when we were physically in his presence, we were aware of his moods & plans for us most of the time, walking on eggshells & anticipating what he was going to do to us. I remember the sadness I felt when I realized that as toddlers my children were already adapting to his moods and that their personalities & behaviors & moods would change when he came in the door. They were already aware on some level that this was what was necessary for their survival.
My kids & I were so afraid of the ways he’d ambush & terrorize us if we got “help” for all the abuse. We were right to be terrified.
It got so much worse after the police served him with our (the kids were still young but chose to testify alone to get their own Orders of Protection) Orders of Protection. He was never allowed back in the house from that point. A series of Criminal Orders of Protection and Family Court Orders of Protection were necessary over the years based on his arrests & threats & actions. But they did little to protect us. And all his money and my nonexistent funds meant he had well paid lawyers and a criminal defense team, while i could not afford representation to help save my kids.
I could go on forever because the nightmare not only continues, but it has gotten worse. I’m so sorry for what you’re going through. I know it feels isolating, but we’re obviously not alone in this suffering. Though I have found little to no local help-even though I know I’m not the only one.
Sending you peace & hope that things get better. With a trial next week that is frightening me to death, I have little hope myself. But i can at least say that you’re not alone, someone who understands cares, and I am so sorry for what you & your boys are going through. All my best
All of the above .. with each individual? Thank you ♥️. I’ve been looking to your content for some years now , only hardly to comment . ♥️ love those shorts 😂
Thanks for your very
Helpful videos !!!
You are so welcome! sending you love! ❤
I'm dealing with a narcissist that calls me drama when I react to her pathological lying, gaslighting, breadcrumbing, and constant deceit. Most things with her are greatly exaggerated or half truths. She conveniently forgets incriminating things she did or said and tells me to let the past go. She used to disappear for hours and then mention one place she went or stopped at to sound like that's all she did during that whole time. Please share any thoughts.
What’s your relationship with them?
@@nomnomnommy2955 Long time situationship. She lied to me and was still seeing her kids' dad. When I tried to talk to him, he pulled a gun and then died a few months later from a car accident. Her income doubled from social security money and she lost a bunch of weight and started dying her hair purple and wearing big hoop earrings. I knew she was seeing someone but she denied it and kept breadcrumbing me. This was right before she turned 30 and I eventually found out she was seeing some bad boy type dude. I was seeing other girls, but she did not like that and would say things like have fun with your girlfriend. This girl is always lying about where she is, what she's doing, and other things. It's the epitome of a person's words not lining up at all with their actions. To this day she refers to this bad boy guy as just a friend and claims they don't talk anymore, but who knows. Just over a year ago she said she was at a hotel casino with her cousin, so I made a 2 hour drive and she was there with him. He told me to stay the fuck away from her and got all toughguy in my face but a security guard intervened before it went really bad. He was seeing a younger girl that he had move in with him and now that is not working out. I know this girl is no good for me and is as toxic as they come, but she is very charming and always finds a way to reel me back in whenever I create some distance and then I have to start over again. It's always Hey I have to tell you about some drama with whoever, I'm worried about you and are you Ok, or I need help with this or that. Clearly the best thing would be to cut all contact, focus on bettering myself, enjoy time with my daughter, and work on expanding my business. After years of gaslighting and manipulation, sometimes I feel like she's all I've got. I do have awareness and know what has to be done, but it's easier said than done because of all the history and how I still see the special person she used to be even though that version of her is dead and gone.
lmao same situation here with my mother in law!
If it's a girlfriend.I would end it and move on.They never change and it gets worse.Do not put urself through the misery like I did.Good luck!!
Typical.
This is why I have a dog now. 😁 Thanks Rebecca.
I dealt with a narcissist I put them in jail and a restraining order but your video clips are intriguing but then I hear more about what you have to say then I get scared
Been going through a nasty divorce and custody battle for a year now I have literally experienced every single one of these to the T! I finally learned but should have no contacted or grey rocked from day 1
Shut em down!
Yes shut them down!
It's *SO* hard to explain this to people (without sounding crazy).....ughhhh lol
Someone had claimed that they had a Restraining Order against me, when they didn’t. 😳
I apparently have a drug problem.. chronic..as she tells all my friends and family..
TRUE.....ALL OF THIS.....SO RIGHT ON THE MONEY.
My ex did all of those things and more. It is truly amazing to what extent they will go to in order to get their way and to maintain complete control over you and your life. My ex told me he was going to "own" me for the rest of my natural life, then boasted that I still didn't know, after all those years together, what he had done to me and/or was doing to me. Unfortunately, the Judges and all Attorneys that were in that Court were/are his criminal co-conspirators so I didn't have a chance in hell against any of them in that Court. I am however, a very credible Federal and International Witness/Whistleblower against all of them and their very real worldwide organized crime group. Thank you again, Rebecca! I will Slay this next time in Court, thanks to you and your helpful advice and videos helping me understand what Narcissists are, what Narcissistic Abuse is and what their flying monkeys/criminal co-conspirators are. You are a true gem!
6 months ago I had now Idea of why my wife and I could not find common ground on anything, the constant chaos, gaslighting , guilt, nothing i did was ever enough, I was always in the Dog house for one reason or another. i went to marriage counselling for a year before covid which seemed to make things worse, like the counselling validated my wife's adversarial opinion. These Videos are priceless segments of Sage wisdom and have helped me get my my mind wrapped around the 17 years crazy events and manipulation . i just got divorced and I'm gray Rocking till i get my stuff and then plan "No Contact" I told her I'm getting a RV and gonna wander the earth like Cane in Kung-Fu
Be careful, as I remember he was always dealing with narcs everywhere he went. Maybe he was a scapegoat child and attracted them to him
Shut em down and duck
Yes shut them down!
Shut them down!!
Yes shut them down!
The day after our ex business partner submitted lies in a 21 day harbor letter EVERYTHING (evidence)was deleted off my husband's phone... and guess what.... he "gifted" him that phone and is a hacker....
Your are amazing. Every thing you say has been my experience including stealing the funky emails he wrote he stole off my email. No worries I followed your instructions and eventually he faded away from me not being triggered or falling into his fake traps. Thanks
Great insight. "SHUT THEM DOWN!" watch what you do from the beginning of the relationship because they are taking notes and will use those notes against you to make you look bad and make themselves look like the victim saint. Anything you share with them from the time you were born they will take notes and use it against you...They love the control and it's a game to them where they have to win and you lose. When asked why they wrote those notes they would say "Oh I was concerned for you so I wrote those things down, so I wouldn't forget in case in the future you may need help." What a line and a lie. Watch out when you see someone journaling everyday.
But if someone has a normal boring childhood, how do they twist that into something wrong. With the journaling isn't that something someone that has been through abuse would do since the whole gaslighting so a tik tok a lady that went through abuse ended of recording everything so she could know for herself the narc is lying. My self-had a bad teacher were only my work would disappear or him recording wrong grade by "accident " I ended up keeping track of everything In school did throw things away till the end of the school your just in case something was off on report cards
@@bunnyboo6295 At the Space Center when someone said something or did something to me against company policy I would in front of them take notes...they would quit screwing with me immediately. In that way I was protecting myself. A narcissist will use your words or actions against you.
@@mikehess4494 That's smart been around dangerous people sounds like a good way to avoid being a target.
I was in this kind of relationship. We only lived together in my home. But he cheated all the time but when I'd confront him . I was crazy. I don't know what I'm talking about. That I make him get mad and everything was my fault. Ii have to him everything and all he did for me was make me feel like I was ugly. I couldn't get anyone else. He's told friends I was a crazy old bitch and on and on. Finally I got him out but he still makes me feel guilty of everything that happened . Thank god he's gone.
Sneak drinks in and out of my bedroom as I fell asleep I open one of my eyes and caught her to be towing with two drinks in her hands has them to put them like I drink them...
Shut them DOWN.
I am truly married to a Narcissist.. he does all this
Shut Them DOWN!!!
Shut them down. Thank you for sharing. Helpful words 🌹
Thank You Rebecca! Non related to this very sad and difficult situation! I've never been a copy cat ; but I love what you did with your hair :)
Shut Them Down! And I would like to SHUT THEM UP, too!
Some lawyers are good, most are liar-yers
SHUT THEM DOWN
All the time by many people have been doing this
I need an attorney in Portland Oregon. I've just been served with illegible divorce papers. Court clerk's can't tell what he wants either. Any ideas?
Hire an attorney.
Treat all communications between you and him like you it will be read to a judge. Record ALL interactions. I use the free rev free call app for recording phone calls. At minimum handwrite your responses to complaint and bring to an attorney. Start gathering evidence bc you have 30 days to submit. Remove important documents like tax returns, bank statements, birth certificates to a location he can’t access. Get a credit report for known and UNKNOWN financing. Install exterior security and possibly interior security. I know a man who took ALL of his ex wives shoes and her favorite clothes and burned them, blamed it on the neighbor. He may have installed secret recording devices in your home, watch your back.
You can do it!
Come to my free live webinar - I will tell you how I would go about finding the best one in your area.
@@RebeccaZungEsq Signed up! Thank you!!!
@Bruce Waynesjustice Must you "yell" in multiple posts in all caps? That's rhetorical, it's clear you do.
Shut them down
Yes shut them down!
Shut them down!
Shut them down!
Go no contact, and document everything..
Yes! You got this! 💪
My soon to be ex filled an affidavit with the court to get a CPO based on lies.
SHUT THEM DOWN ‼️
How can I contact you? I’ve spent two years organizing a case against my ex husband. Covert nightmare. Classic. Times 100.
It wasn’t until after my divorce was finalized that this was a personality disorder.
Too much to share.
Im sure you’re too busy-could you recommend an attorney in the Detroit area.
EVERYTHING you’ve mentioned in this video has happened.
I’m taking steps to hold him accountable. I’ve had to become objective while creating this motion.
Thank you.
I’ve stopped giving him less power.
It definitely takes times to reveal the true nature of narcissists, how scheming, deceitful, dishonest and insidious they are. On a hindsight of my personal failure, prepare a couple of recording devices both audio and video and keep them with you whenever the narcissist is on site can help prove your innocence & integrity tremendously afterwards.
In Custody Ex did #2
#5 just happened recently (might need to hire you if you can help me prove it or who did it).
Definitely come to my free live webinar so I can show you how to do just that!!
My narc does all of these.
Shut them down 💪💪
Yes shut them down!
Wonder where to find general and legal resources for who suffer in other relationships with Narcs? Not the intimacy relation.
My question is are the consciously aware that they are doing these things that all narcissists seem to do? My husband would trigger me and push my buttons in the car on the way to someone’s house to the point where when we got there, I looked like a crazy woman.
He did not want to go really, and was trying to upset you every time so either you would stop asking him to go with you or you would stop going yourself. Like training a dog to obey.
Mine did the same exact thing! Ruined every holiday, visit and special event!
I would say yes. Those people typically believe those behaviours are normal, and that makes them feel like they're justified in whatever they do. They tend to provoke someone close to them when going into a public space because it makes them look better by comparison.
It likely serves the function of feeding his need to be seen as "better" than you in some way.
While they might not consciously get to choose their personalities, they do get to choose their behaviour. Just because it might be easier/harder for someone to make different choices; in certain situations -- do does not make them any less of a conscious choice that they've made.
Don't let them off so easy by thinking otherwise.
They know how their actions can hurt the people they care about...they just care themselves more. So there's greater motivation for them to choose those emotionally abusive patterns of behaviour. That's why they don't change.
Shut them down.
Omg... the many times I would apologize and accept 100% of fault in a text. He had me so confused from gaslighting. All emotional crap, zero addictions, zero physical abuse. It was mostly devalue and emotional neglect.
so appreciate this and have experienced parallel experiences: devalue and emotional neglect, and then like the video says: they flip the card and make themselves the victim--I also had the "planted seeds..."
SHUT THEM DOWN!
Rebecca what kind of attorney are you?
I was setup by my ex husband he got Legal Aid from lying saying DA on my part kicked me out of the home & said I left the home when he got two court orders on me non molestation order and an occupancy order he filed for a divorce already had gf all preplanned pre-meditated, I was clear remain in my job with a dbs clean check new home won my kids in court & am a survivor all LIES on his part roll on karma to him he is
lower than low 🚩💜😊
Hey there I miss Rebecca how are you from Canada here you know the interesting thing is it is scriptural in the Bible about narcissist from a book that was written in 1611 unbelievable they're really sick I keep praying and asking father God why he doesn't deliver them from all those 30 plus demons that originally stems from the number one thing of trauma
Sending you light to Canada
"SHUT THEM DOWN!!!!"
God I wish you were in Southern California.
Come to my free live webinar! That's the next best thing!
It's happened to me today Rebecca. delivery Donny is a delivery person and he trained some guy who called and told me that I called him six times they counted it and it's the guy I heard me yelling at him. Unbelievable. And he already knows I know that he's a liar
I feel narc is the worst possible thing that can happen to us
I m with narc mom
Wait until you meet a sociopath or psychopath. Narcs are kittens by comparison.
SHUT. THEM. DOWN!!!!!!!!
Amen..
For you are a magnet 🧲 and I am steel for you ❤ are a magnet 🧲 ♥ and I am steel......run run run run away. We could run run run run away 🎶 💪 😏 😎 ✨ 🤪 🎶 💪 😏 😎 ✨ 🤪 🎶 💪 😏 😎 ✨
My ex accused me of emasculating him. So he fooled around with another man’s wife, left me and abandoned the children we just adopted. Wow. Pass the oysters. The judge laughed.
UGhh - horrible! I can help with that!
shut them down
One way to know that you're dealing with a narcissist is when they take, and take, leaving you feeling depleted. Whereas, you'll receive less, and less or nothing in return.
💙TH-camr That Helps People Overcome Toxic Relationships
Great video as always. If i were a rich man. I would Happily charter an all expenses travel bond just for you. Have a great day
You too!
I used to think it was so funny because I was being blamed all the time. It was just so ludicrous. Then I realised what her game was.
I need to do better with no reacting
Practice makes perfect
I am not sure but she sometimes borrowed my phone when I went out and she probably sends herself text messages from my phone. God knows what!!!
SHUT THEM DOWN!!!!!
shut them down.
my favorite trick: PAUSE! very helpful video ❤
I'm glad to be helping!😊
Disengagement with their nonsense is the key
This is so like my soon to be ex son in law. He has used each of these tricks
Bummer! Check out my live webinar for help with this!
They will project on the other parent what they actually do/did.
Exactly!
SHUT THEM DOWN... LOL.. On Point.. I love your posts...
Do narcissists know they are being manipulative?
#shutemdown
hi there please help me for 20+ plus years i was been abuse emotional. all that you mentioned pertain to my wife. every falls under her. i want to get a away with it. she is so evil . i just wanted to file for divorce. please help.
👩🏫Rebecca, I know that you were also a former teacher, and I wonder if you ever noticed any narcissistic behavior in students, parents, or principals. I think some of the tips that you give here could apply to school/classroom behavior. I retired from teaching before becoming a paralegal and learned about narcissistic behavior, but I think that this knowledge could improve teaching & learning. 🤔
This is so relevant to the Johnny Depp-Amber Heard trial. Check that out. Amber is a classic narcisist, and Johnny fell into all her tricks.
✨🙏🏼✨
My ex girlfriend had me arrested for the family violence and I knew she was going to try moving back in so she could steal again and, Thank GOD, they made sure she left the property as I was being taken to jail. Demanded a jury trial and the two officers who took pictures of the black eye shadow with sparkles had developed the pictures and told the judge they wouldn't testify against me. Been on dead docket for four years and she never showed up for any appearance in court. You have that wake up when the jail cell doors slam and you let them go.
Manipulated evidence!
This is all true🎯💯💯 . People are becoming more aware of these beings🐉 just be aware and knowledge yourself. This all happen to me. And every one looking at me like I'm the crazy 🤪 one. The joke is on them. LoL 😆 🤣 😂
Shut them 👇
Shut them dowm
There so sick
Shut them down ;}
I have to be the only one on earth to grey rock my moron and end up with his forearm in my mouth, yes I drew blood, In my defense, i was seatbelted to the truck seat, not able to lean forward to reach him. The only way this was possible, he swung his arm across the truck when I tried to turn the volume down in the truck. If i wanted it up, he would have turned it down, i was not winning after he did not like being shut down with a big rock. I am going no contact, but if he handles a pan face and shut down of just a grey rock, imagine what a firm no contact will cause. I can't even list ALL he's got going on in my head to keep track of. He's getting "messy" in his fury! Especially when, for once I held back tears, looked at him and burst out laughing! Yikes!
My brother skipped out on attending our mother's funeral memorial by throwing a tantrum and goading and triggering me to respond. After that he said he felt uncomfortable attending in "light of what happened". Also claimed he was full of 30 yrs of hell and "rage". That came completely from out of the blue. I told him if that is so then did he anytime during those 30 yrs did he seek therapy to deal and move on? Silence on that one. Can't be that much of a hell if you're fine on not getting professional help? (I viewed various videos and quickly realized what he is. I don't think he knows but his techniques of gaslighting and debasement are too polished.)
Of course I am the bad guy. He doesn't understand that I am not his priest or therapist and as a family member I prefer not to deal with his obvious personal and marriage issues. He is too cowardly to seek counseling or even deal with his wife on this. So he deflects his rage onto family. I'm trying to figure out is the wife is also a narcissist or a duped flying monkey. He uses his godmother to keep the family under surveillance on his behalf. She calls and does the flying monkey routine of he's all right but at the same time admits that he does not return his calls and treats her like garbage.
No idea what his financial situation is, but if it was truly "hell" that is going to require many years of twice a week therapy. Not everyone can afford that time (off work) and money. I don't know if that applies to your brother's situation or not. (and for true narcissists, it's generally 10+ years of therapy to pierce their reality and begin to feel some empathy for others (this was told to me by 2 different therapists who specialized in treatment of NPD and they also told me that of those who can afford it, most can't stick with it).
@@le_th_ on reflection I have suapected and now know that he has always been a covert narcissist. I remember one time out of university he had employee profiling for a potential job. The company withdrew their offer as their testing showed he lacked empathy as one of his traits. He was disturbed and upset by that assessment. I suspect that as a result he avoids help because of potential bad news it would dredge up.
He's 57 yrs old and as Rebecca's videos show as narcissists get that old they become very toxic and nasty. I do not believe he is serious about getting help. I told him during his latest tantrum that he needs professional "therapy" to allow him to move on as a less toxic person. I emphasized the word therapy to him buy my comment only paused him for few seconds in his tantrum but I know that he knows I suspect what's going on. The reason I started digging in and watching videos on this condition is the blatant amount of gaslighting and flying monkey treatment I have received over the same 30 yr time period. I know what gaslighting is as it has become a topic of late in political circles. I am very sensitive to it and always wonder why a person whether in business or family would attempt doing it. Now I know. And I believe narcissism as it is defined is a lot more prevalent in society then we dare to imagine.
I am now trying to assess where he is on the spectrum, whether it is spur of the moment man child tantrums or whether it is planned and rehearsed.
I have noticed that coworkers of his, that are total strangers to me, are suddenly now checking out my LinkedIn page.
Either way I have always had a pretty good BS detector and am fully aware now that I know more thanks to Rebecca Zung.
@@pingechelon9389 Yes, some narcissists really struggle with aging. I mean, it's not "fun" for anyone to lose your strength, muscles, health, and cognitive sharpness, but it's a true ego ding for narcissists who rely on their physical appearance. It can send them into a tailspin IF they were the type to rely one their physical appearance (covert narcissists). Grandiose narcissists tend to rely on their profession accomplishments, wealth, and social status, which tend to be at their peak for this type in their 50s and 60s. Now, things can happen (market crash, bankruptcy, debilitating illness) that alter that for a percentage, but for most grandiose narcissists their career accomplishments peak in their 50s (or even 60s in medicine, law, academia). The mental gymnastics these individuals can never ceases to amaze me.
I hope you can find a way to stay away from him and people like him. Wishing you the best~