See I want to believe you when you say that judges hate liars and lazy people who don’t follow court orders in my case nothing could be further from the truth literally I documented chronological order every single lie my narcissistic ex-wife made to obtain a DVPO and she was granted the DVPO. With literally zero evidence no police reports no medical records no photos of bruises or lacerations cuts whatever the hell you wanna call it not a single witness not even a friend or family member to testify saying yeah you know she’s been telling me about this abusive monster for years. I spent close to $15,000 to fight this bullshit DVPO just to lose. The judges don’t give a goddamn about anything except for making money for the machine and if you have a penis you lose 100% of the time. Pierce County Washington state
1. Respond if needed, but do not react 2. Document. Diligently and in real time 3. Don't get sucked into the mud 4. Become immune to guilt trips 5. Use one form of communication 6. Never be alone with them
Ugh your number 2 step to Document. I know you are right but the idea of doing that sucks. (2.) Document diligently in real time. yuck. Besides how do you do that in a casual setting and not be ridiculed anyway ?
@@johnmcgrath3466 I was just summarizing the video. I'm no expert... However, this is what I would recommend. Never meet in person. If absolutely necessary to meet in person, bring legal witnesses. Use only methods of communication that are easy to document like email or specialized apps. And perhaps use a calendar (like Gmail calendar) to document events.
You are the victim of the educational system. You honestly, truly believe, they want to teach you something valuable in high school? Travel the world. Try to learn how the FAMILIES function in culturally rich countries with thousands of years of history. I seen my ex-wife, who is a narcissist, to devalue A TOP PSYCHOLOGIST. The people with strong sense of cultural identity, could sense/understand her tactics from a mile away - while the psychologist was in a room with her, treated like an ignorant child. In a corporate run culture, people are turned into senseless consumers. The pharmaceutical companies will run out of business, if they create the right environment, for you to learn the basic rules about human nature. People in corporate run countries are conditioned to chase pleasur, sound politically correc, feed their ego with subjective nonsense. Put the phone down, turn off the TV, start reading books, if you wanna regain control of your yourself. Everything you need to function normally in this life, is already inside you.
I never realized how dangerous they are… they can destroy a man’s life by false accusations. This is so scary… I dated a narcissist and it was a nightmare. It makes dating or talking to women very difficult. Thank you for your help.
I believe I was falsely accused to the authorities by a narcissist Jezebel neighbor, back in '93. There's plenty of Jezebel types teaching in the temple, 'these days ' (+ Rev.2:20) A Jezebel represents Hell They're false accussers and lovers of themselves, as relates in 2 Tim.3:1-3 I believe Satan's extreme blow to his pride given him in the Garden of Eden for wanting to be worshipped like God in his own right will be healed through Jezebel types. Satan is called the accuser of the brethren (Rev.12:10) in the last days (times of the light of the gospel of Jesus Christ going on in the world) before darkness (the power and authority of Satan through his heads and people/deceived followers) takes over completely in an overwhelming attempt to overthrow the government of God
Happened to me... was doing dishes she flew at me ripped my phone from my pocket all I did was keep a grip on my phone till it came free she called the cops an said I threw her down went to jail on Easter weekend wasn't allowed to go to my own home probation yada yada yada... CRAZY
Just remember, there truly are good people out there. Think about all these nice people that are making these comments. They have been hurt and I find it very difficult to attach to any man anymore. But we have to remember, everybody's not a narcissist!
@@marcialussier2467 No, not everyone is a narcissist but after a lifetime of abuse and trauma I have become somewhat shell shocked. And because of that I am suspicious of relationships (with a partner or finding a friendship with other women). She drove a wedge between my marriage, tried to take my son away, claiming I was a drug addict. I took a hair test to prove to the judge and her I was NEVER a drug addict. I tend to enjoy my time alone. Come to think of it, I grew up alone, in my room, friends weren’t encouraged both parents were brutally narcissistic and I believe for the most part, they didn’t want me to see how “happy/healthy” famlies interact! NO WAY ALLOWED TO SPEND THE NIGHT AT A G/F’s house. She emancipated me at 15 in a court of law claiming I was the problem. I left home at 16 with such anger and I always felt LESS THAN and undeserving of love. It was very damaging. You can get rid of a spouse through a divorce, but as a young child there is NO ESCAPE, except going within!
Rev.2:20 is probably how Satan will be loosed to establish his government, after an overwhelming attempt to overthrow the government of God through his heads and people/followers. Satan is called the accuser of the brethren ( Rev.12:10) in the last days ( times of the light of the gospel of Jesus Christ going on in the world) before darkness ( the power and authority of Satan) takes over completely in an overwhelming attempt to overthrow the government of God. There's plenty of narcissist Jezebel types teaching in the temple today. Those types can get the world to come together through their wrong judgments,beliefs--and treachery. Mat.24:- 5,11,24 is happening now!!! (+ 1TIM.4:1,2; 2Tim.4:3,4; 2Pet.2:1-3; Acts 20:29,30)
I'm currently dealing with one. It's mind-boggling how they are so expert & guiltless at this yet failing in all common sense aspects of their life. I gotta be living in another time and space to be witnessing this. God help us.
@atht55 I had one of those, I'm still amazed how stupid she was..seriously can't describe it..delusional and rambled for hrs everyday about the same ol shyte over and over.. I cracked, I'm not proud of how I handled it..seriously my head couldn't get ready for that bs everyday..
So true! They've got sooo very twisted minds! What they did they accuse you of and if they missed out on doing necessary stuff, they blame you of failure! I experienced this over and over again! 😈
Be aware of a narcissist that tries to apologize to you only to take them back/forgive them, but then turn around and blame you for it. It's never genuine with them! 💙TH-camr That Helps People Overcome Toxic Relationships
You mean like apologizing for cheating but then saying she would try therapy if you only you hadn’t told anyone? Being embarrassed is worse than cheating lol
They accuse of things THEY’RE doing. Don’t defend yourself. It’s useless. Walk away. It will never change. They can’t hear you. And the abuse will NEVER end. Of course, this only applies to those who are free to walk away. If you’re in a relationship, get out.
Yes agreed to the walking away bc if you waste your time trying to defend it'll fall on deaf ears OR IF YOU DONT then to the narc it will be an admission that he was right then he'll punish you bc that's all they do!
What if the person that’s acting that way is a neighbor who tries to get under your skin and when you confront them by making a complaint with the police, they Falsely accuse you of things you haven’t done how do you deal with something like that?
Right now I am so deeply hurt this gentleman showed me he was trying to do something online and his credit card was not going through and out of no where my phone number came up with my name. And eventhough I am telling him I don't understand how my name come up he is saying I was trying to use his credit. I cried and still is. How do I prove am not guilty
The only connection I can think of is that both are based on the perpetrator’s undue emphasis of his/her own thoughts/emotions. In narcissistic abuse, perpetrators usually expresses the attitude that everything centers around them. They may object to that description and even insist that they don’t believe that; but, their actions say otherwise. Virtually everything you do/don’t do gets tied back to the perpetrator as a person. You’re either doing something right b/c you’re smart, capable, etc., or you’re intentionally doing it wrong in order to hurt/anger the perpetrator in some way. You are also likely to be accused of doing it wrong, even if you’re doing it right-again b/c of the perpetrator’s thoughts/emotions. Toxic positivity is generally not perpetrated with the intention to hurt anyone, and most wouldn’t even recognize it as being toxic/hurtful; but, in most cases, the perpetrator is still oblivious to the effect it has on others, and to the value of that effect. Narcissism is a psychological disorder and, with few exceptions, abuse is perpetrated with the tangible intention of causing harm. In contrast, toxic positivity is a behavioral flaw that is essentially an extreme version of selfishness, based in denial, and is generally perpetrated with the intention of maintaining and creating happiness. Most people are selfish, in some way or another. Toxic positivity is a subtle expression of selfishness-so subtle that even the perpetrator may not realize why it’s wrong b/c, after all, s/he is only seeking to encourage/uplift people. This is where denial comes in. Most people struggle/suffer, at some point or another. I believe that most people are also aware that there are people who experience more pain than they are aware of from their own lives. Denial allows people to look at someone who reminds them of themselves and assume that they cannot be justified in their suffering b/c the observer is not suffering. Denial also allows people who have suffered to deny the significance of other people’s suffering b/c it is notably different from their own, or b/c they perceive it as being notably different. From here, there are 2 extremes: One is for them to be semi-consciously abusive-meaning that they are generally aware that their actions are hurtful; but, they rationalize it as being justified. The other is to perpetrate toxic positivity-in which they are completely unaware that their actions are hurtful and it’s difficult for them to identify why they would be. Additionally, If you need to find out about a cheating spouse; send a request to: Metaspyhub@gmail. com
It is mind blowing how they’ll just keep hammering and hammering at you with false accusations as if they’re going to convince you that you did something you didn’t.
They will physically abuse you and deny it the next day! He pushed me into a wall so hard I bumped my forehead and I blacked out for a few seconds. The next day, I confront him, asking him why he did this. His answer? « I did nothing, you’re so clumsy, you just slipped. » I was shocked!! Another day, we were arguing and he jumped me! Same thing, he said: « I had to defend myself, YOU hit me! » WHAT?? I - 😮 Incredible how he twisted everything that happened! It’s a horrible / scary experience.
@@pocahontas4583 I believe I was secretly accused to the authorities by a narcissistJezebel neighbor back in '93, of things I know not. She REALLY has me all charged up 'these ', after Mother recently passed away. She's behind that. Rev.18 speaks of her. She's got serious blood on her damn hands. Rev.2:20 and Rev.17 also relates to her. She wants my head on a platter. She won't rest until that happens, as relates in Rev.14:11. Satan is called the accuser of the brethren ( Rev.12:10) in the last days ( times of the light of the gospel of Jesus Christ going on in the world) before darkness ( the power and authority of Satan through his heads and people /misled followers) takes over completely in an overwhelming attempt to overthrow the government of God (' these days ')
This is my life 30 years ago. No one realized this back then. The court system was not a justice system. It was a horrible time in my life. I am 70 now and I am at peace but it has been a hard journey. .Thank you for helping people, Rebecca.
@@julietcrowson3503 Yes, thankful to God everyday. When you "know " you have no value, it is hard to walk through everything that is put before you. Part of my problem was my mother taught me the same thing...it took me 60+ years to walk away from her as well. She died 17 months ago and it has brought such peace to my heart. Few people understand but I have learned not to try and get them to understand. You have to live it.
@@kvj859 my mom is your age and I know the toll of this abuse on the mind, body, and soul. How anyone can not see what they have done, or they do and don't care. I had the strength to leave.
16:40 My Narcissist sadly is my daughter. She has said the most ridiculous things about her “bad childhood” when in reality, she had an amazing childhood. Anyone that really knew her as a child knows that these statements are all untrue. She’s now 36 and cycles through being hateful towards me, or “tolerating” me. Always in toleration mode when she needs something big; a loan or something big such as that. I’ve learned my lesson and have walked away. I’ll always love her, but I wouldn’t let a friend treat me and talk so rudely .. so I’m not letting her either.
Thank you. The narcissist who makes false accusations can also be a neighbor or coworker. It is not just limited to a person you had a previous intimate relationship with.
I believe I was falsely accused to the authorities in '93 by a narcissist Jezebel neighbor. There's plenty of Jezebel types teaching in the temple, 'these days ' (+ Rev.2:20) They're false accussers and lovers of themselves, as relates in 2 Tim.3:1-3 . I won't be surprised if Satan comes into full authority as God by such types. Satan is called the accuser of the brethren ( Rev.12:10) in the last days ( times of the light of the gospel of Jesus Christ going on in the world) before darkness ( the power and authority of Satan through his heads and people/deceived followers) takes over completely in an overwhelming attempt to overthrow the government of God Mat.24-5,11,24; 1Tim.4 1,2;2Tim.4:3,4; 2Pet.2:1-3; Acts 20:29,30 are all happening now!!! Unlike Jesus, I'm dumb ( Mat.27:12) God knows my case. This is Jacob's trouble ( Jer.30:-7-), described in Mat.24:21 ; Dan.12:1
My ex was a covert Narcissist. He would always accuse me of doing things or saying things that NEVER came out of my mouth. At first, very early into our relationship, I thought he was just "mistaken" and meant no harm. Then...it started to become a pattern. That's when I realized he would fabricate things in order to win disagreements and make me squirm. It's like he got this internal thrill by triggering me, for no apparent reason. Every few weeks, he would start a petty argument. I thought I was going crazy...and yes, I wanted to record conversations. Weirdest encounter I ever had.
The worst part is when this kind of person gets the world to believe the lie. Imagine those types passing lie detector tests, for believing their own lies.Dear God.
Yes, I know one who will try to justify lying, or outright LIE. about LYING! If the justification is obviously, embarrassingly lame, or if it has zero logic, Ive pointed it out (actually while laughing at him is that not nice?), he has literally mumbled something stupid as he leaves the room. If he's got nothing, he runs.
They do believe their own lies! They leave out their evildoings and parts that make them look bad to make themselves look like a hero, saviour or victim. Then they regale their story to anyone that will listen and in their mind they think "Hey. I have these other people telling my story of how great I am so it must be true!" My brother (again) split with his wife and went their separate ways. The reason was he was caught cheating a multitude of times. She said if he didn't stop cheating, she would find someone else to emotionally support her just like he had been doing for sex. With my sister in law it was lack of emotional support toward her and their two kids. He begged her to come back after a few months under the stipulation that SHE would have to give up her boyfriend, but made no mention of him not cheating, and of course she said no. Now when he tells why they broke up, he says "Its because she wouldn't give up her boyfriend even though I said I would take her back if she did." No mention of his multiple affairs or violent behavior toward she and the kids. Why? Because in his eyes he genuinely believes he was the victim.
"Don't be surprised when they act like themselves, be surprised when they act normal." That comment was mind blowing and takes staying calm during trial to a whole new level. Thank you, Rebecca. I will keep this in mind.
There's no hope, them acting like a normal human being, When the evil is simmering Inside them, at all times, They are miserable people Want to dragg down every one They know, especially there close empaths, or empath, Carry around a voice recorder at all times
When mine is calm for too long, I just know that the meltdown is coming soon. He made it for 8 days before his meltdown this last time. I was impressed.
Satan must be having a BIG, ugly laugh over all of the treacherous accusations, placing his kind in authority and power worldwide. GOD help HIS chosen people
I have been separated from my narcissist ex-partner for 7 months now. Despite having a restraining order against him and their current bail status for battery, they continue to use the legal system to harass me. Every 4-6 weeks, they make false child abuse claims to the authorities, resulting in police visits to my home. Although no evidence of abuse is found, and the cases are eventually closed, I am told that my ex-partner cannot be held accountable for making false reports because welfare calls to the cops are not illegal. This pattern of behavior is also repeated with child protective services, causing unnecessary stress and trauma for my family. I can't believe this is allowed he has claimed horrific false claims from sexual child abuse to animal cruelty you name it he has mentioned it a couple of the cops that have come to my home to do a walkthrough have laughed because how outrageous the lies are but I'm not finding this funny at all it's horrible
Everybdy thinks hes such a great guy always smiling and speaks to everyone so happily...no one knows the level of craziness except the person hes intimate with
@@dennismclaurin1487this is not a mental illness, it cannot be treated with therapy or medicine. This is a sociopathic disorder very deep within the person's psyche, and cannot be helped with any kind of treatment.
"Spot on!" I am 24 days away to 6-15-22, divorce day. This past week the last piece of the puzzel and a huge piece of leverage was discovered. My ex had been working for months but had told the judge that she was disabled and her doctors had not cleared her to go back to work. She has no idea that i now know not only where she works but also how much she makes, when she started, and where she has her direct deposits going. I had been paying her alimony despite me having custody of our 10 year old daughter and she has not been having to pay child support. Also uncovered this week is that she has been on multiple dating sites since 2014 meeting with both men and women and she had the nerve to been accusing me of cheating for all those years smh. She has yet to provide one piece of documentation for this divorce. We had a motion to compel filed and are waiting for her to be sanctioned. She was also found guilty by trial of violating the protection order i had againist her. I have documented like crazy from day one in all forms, journeling, audio recording and video recording. She has lost every little battle so far by me doing my due diligence and the biggest battle is 24 days away. Two days ago she sent me a message saying how she wants us back together and how the family needs us together blah, blah, blah. I did not even respond to it. The beauty of my leverage is that it is rebuttal evidence that is not privy to having get disclosed in discovery. We just continue to not just feed her rope but also her flying monkees. Yes i have all the texts and conversations audio recoded i have had with them so they will be exposed right along with her should they choose to take the stand. My lawyer and i are pushing for the judge to order that we communicate through "our family wizard" post divorce. I have child protective services, my daughters school councelor and teacher, three police officers, multiple family friends and former employees going to court to testify on my behalf. I am so ready to SLAY this malignent narc that had physically, emotionally and sexually abused me over the 23 years i was with her. June 15th is my day to be vindicated and gain justice but most importantly freedom from the insanity. I am breaking the chain of domestic abuse and showing my kids that it is only to late to leave if you are dead. Rebecca your channel has guided me through the legal part of this so thank you. Dr les carter's channel has given me the emotional support group that complements my going to counceling so my thanks also goes to there. If i can make it through this then anyone can do this. Know you are not alone and support is available. Most importantly be true to yourself and dont sacrifice your own morals trying to beat the narc. So strong and stay safe and please take care if your mental health.
Spot on, as always! The more I learn about narcissism, the more I feel bad for those who suffer from it, especially in excess. But, that shred of sympathy only goes so far, considering they're still usually mean, angry, manipulative, bullies. Just the same, I often just tell myself "They're simply unhappy creatures who are jealous of the happiness of light bringers".
I agree with you completely. I understand where it comes from and the how's and why's of what happened to me but I don't think it's justifiable to treat anyone abusively because you are hurting. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and take care 🙂🌬💕
Everything is spot on Rebecca. I grew up with a psychopath for a mother. She tried to kill me more than a few times. She turned my brothers against me. Why did I become her target? She wanted a girl. She did some of the most horrible things to me you could imagine. I am in therapy. I have memory gaps but writing a book has helped me put the pieces together. INCREDIBLE! Pure evil!
Thank you for your post. It helps others- myself- to not feel so alone. I'm so sorry you grew up with this. My only differences are that mine hasn't tried to kill me, she just physically and mentally abused me. And I am a female, the only one. So I think there was something to that (I'm the scapegoat) She loves the males in my family more and treats them way different. She turned my family against me too and I've been recently black listed from them. I hope you get to share your writing, I'll be interested to see it.
@@TruthBeTold0914 thank you so much. It is an amazing read. A real page turner. All kinds of abuse. 08/24/2022 filed a criminal complaint against someone she got to try and kill me in 2018. I found the video through Google. I thought I lost it. Google sent me an email the day before with the video. Your memories from 2018. Thank God for Google
I'll tell you how you deal with someone's narcissistic traits you walk away go no contact and never look back. Wish I had been stronger in the earlier stages but here I am getting my self worth back.
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Oh boy you nailed it! The ex a covert narcissist FALSELY accuses me of the things he is doing! Smh! Does it daily despite I left HIM 2.5 yrs ago. Tyvm for your knowledge💜
I left her 3 years ago and it took watching this and hearing from other people who relate because they literally went through the same things everything she did she accused me of doing to her
I just went through a nasty divorce with a covert narcissist. It took me a while to learn the person I was dealing with. I’m thankful to come out on the other side mostly unscathed. You MUST request a court ordered app to communicate, I did and I wish I had done it sooner. My story has a happy ending though. Although I went though a year of literal hell with someone making false allegations, trying to financially ruin me and me having to spend 20k in attorney fees to uncover the truth it was absolutely necessary!!! I also had to use my leverage very strategically. Now I’m actually better off even financially after this I am happy to say. It was a huge chess game during the entire divorce that lasted more than a year. Never trust someone who you suspect is a narcissist especially during a divorce. I lost a few pawns and even a bishop or a rook, but in the end I got checkmate. Rebecca is “spot on”with this advice. I wish I discovered this advice in the first month of my divorce. Its essential and can help you survive and even thrive in the long run. Someday soon I will have to share my full story. I could write a book on it. Do NOT underestimate how low a narcissist will go in a divorce!
I’m in the middle of a nasty divorce and custody battle with the covert narcissist I’ve been with total for almost 10 years. Absolutely hell for my son (5 y/o autistic boy) and 14 year old daughter. Please tell me we will get on the other side of this! I’ve been using a lot of Rebecca’s wonderful strategies and even though I’ve lots a couple bishops and rooks, he is unraveling now. He is surprisingly proving to the court through his desperate behavior why it would be impossible to co-parent with! Man, I hope this turns out the way it should be!
They get very ugly when they are trying to get power of attorney. We have an in-law, not a blood relative, trying to get control over our Mom. She is a nurse and using that for her reason. We are wise to her and Mom still has a good mind. If I had to handle this alone I don't think I could. Her passive husband is not always on her side but he doesn't always stand up for himself or others. There is a chance she could win if Mom becomes demented or mentally disabled. Mom is trying to protect herself from that..
My mother accused falsely I just blocked her and went no contact and banned her from coming near me or my home or my kids. Blood doesn't make family. My ex also took me to court and all the lies he said about me the judge saw through him and his lies because we had not spoken or seen each other for 3 years. He lost the case and lost his money too. The judge rolled in my favour and I couldn't be more happier ☺️.
After dealing with a narcissist and trying to make sense of it….as soon as you recognize what’s going on….just leave. Forget the strategy, just leave and have them served with a restraining order.
My narc used to plant seeds to people throughout our entire relationship. ANYTIME we got into a disagreement he would call friends or family and-say the most outlandish stuff. He would apologize to me in private but the damage had already been done. Everyone thought I was crazy and he was doing Gods work staying married to a crazy woman. It was really really sick. I had no voice .
Man this hit hard . After 22 years of marriage I found actual evidence to prove her infidelity . The next day she told the police I raped her and my life was shattered. I lost my kids , my family, my house and job making $10k a month . She Told everyone I never paid bills and I was mean . I volunteered to coach all my kids after school activities . And after she couldn’t pay the bills but I mentioned she said I never paid anything that why can’t she pay like she claimed I didn’t do . I’m still dealing with the Courts over this . After I helped her get a new car for my daughter to have transportation. She told the courts I went to her house and started arguing with her . She did try to start the argument but I left . But again I’m the one in trouble. Stay away from these people.. I even stopped contact with my children and that hurts this most but it’s for my own good .
Oh honey wow!!! Praying for you! God has this. I’ve been through similar and I promise you that it WILL work out! This is not the rest of your life. It will end. Your children back in your life soon. Love again. So much pain I know. Praying nightly for you. ❤️🙏
I am so sorry to hear this. My partner is a victim of false allegations as well. You have to keep going, push through hell and get out the other side. It’s the last thing she expects! Also. We need to speak about this SO MUCH MORE! We have a system that is set up to protect people but was left wide open for exploitation by shameless manipulators. We need to fight the system and change it so we stop aiding and abetting these LIARS! (Yeah, I’m angry)
@@jodiejo1609 Hi Jodie,My name is Meri-lee. I really need your prayers. I'm dealing with major coercive control, stalking,false accusations, and attempts on my life. I've been drugged against my will,accused, threatened,I can't take anymore, and I have no money! And he puts gps trackers in my stuff. Other people are actually helping him and lots of people believe I'm a slut and I'm not even sleeping with anyone! Celibate going in four years in January. Help please. If you can please pray neither one of my enemies win against me and that ppl can help me and know I'm not a bad person that would be great. Much love to you. Thank you for your time.💛💯
You’re definitely not on your own my friend, it’s true what the Bible says “the devil rules the earth”, not for much longer thankfully. 1 John chapter 5 verse 19 and Psalm 37 verses 10,11 amongst others.
This is where Satan's deadly wound ( extreme blow to his pride given him in the Garden of Eden for wanting to be worshipped like God in his own right) will be healed (+ Rev 13:3). Satan is called the accuser of the brethren ( Rev.12:10) in the last days ( times of the light/ righteousness of the gospel of Jesus Christ going on in the world) before darkness (unrighteousess; the power and authority of Satan through his heads and people /followers) takes over completely in an overwhelming attempt to overthrow the government of God .The world ( described in Rev.13:8) will be worshipping an accusing god( by reason of transgression >Dan.8:12)> the sins of God's people > Mat.1:21, described in 1COR.1:26-28 Rev.2:20 seems to indicate that there will be plenty of Jezebel types teaching in the temple in the last days
I had a covert religious Narcissist in my life several years ago, and she'd actually take the time to call me and hurl false accusations at me and call me names. And yes, she "love-bombed" me at first. I had just been diagnosed with lymphoma, and she came to see me. As we sat on my couch, she looked around at all the nice things in my apt., then buried her face in her hands, appearing to weep-and I fell for it! What an idiot. I gave her a hug and thought "She must be really tender-hearted," and gave her a hug. Then she asked if she could use my bathroom. I joked "Yeah, got a quarter?" But when she went in my bathroom, I never heard the toilet flush. NOW I realize she was faking "collecting" herself. She wanted me to think she was drying her eyes-yet I never saw any tears! As time went by, she manipulated me into hiring her and her son as my Executors (though she made me pay off my one outstanding dental bill FIRST), for a fee of $3900!!! THEN she manipulated me into paying $5 grand for her son's books to be published. And now that I have her son's ministry's Form 990's, I see his ministry was dying, and my "friend" wanted to profit from my death. It's the ultimate betrayal, for someone to exploit your illness and possible imminent death. When I finally dumped her and cut her off from the autopay I had her son's ministry on, she said she couldn't believe there'd been so much misunderstanding, when she was just "concerned" for me. She took my last dime, and she knew it because she'd manipulated me into putting her and her son's names on my accounts, yet she was just "concerned" for me. Unbelievable!!!
Highlights: Important to remember- 8:40 The narcissist wants you to be triggered (the narcissist gets supply from your being triggered 8:41 The narcissist wants to position you to look like “the crazy one” 9:09 As long as you are giving the narcissist “supply,” the narcissist will never leave you alone SIX WAYS to deal with narcissist’s false allegations 1. (9:27) Respond, don’t react (be very calm & deliberate, not triggered or reactive) 2. (10:03) Make sure to document everything, in REAL TIME (too hard to re-create what happened if you wait to chronicle what happened or didn’t happen) 3. (12:15) Don’t get sucked into the mud (view situation as if you’re a third-party detached, objective observer) 4. (13:15) Become like Teflon when it comes to succumbing to guilt trips (be aware that a typical narcissist tactic is to use shame or guilt to manipulate you and when you are aware of this tactic, you can avoid being manipulated into feeling guilty or ashamed) 5. (15:21) Use one method of communication with the narcissist (use email only or, if you have children, you can use an app; if using the app, it’s best for it to be court-ordered so there can be consequences if the narcissist fails to communicate via the app) 6. (16:57) Try not to be alone with the narcissist (so the narcissist cannot fabricate claims against you; use school for transferring child(ren), as drop-off or pick-up to minimize in-person interactions, or have someone with you who can be a witness)
After 60 years of being bullied and beaten by my alcoholic sister, I found your channel. Now I know why she behaves the way she does, but none of her 5 children and their families don't know. She does to them what she used to do with me including her drunken rages. She last beat me when I was 65, knowing I have acute heart failure and COPD. Enough, I walked away. She spread filthy lies about me and because they've never seen one of your videos, they accept her lies as the truth. If I'm challenged about any of it, I won't defend myself at all, it's a waste of time as they think I am the liar. None of my family contact me now because of what she's told them. I call it 'Doing the rounds' as she can only 'feed off' one family member at a time, then she's done with them and starts on someone else. She still tries contacting me, the last excuse was she got shot, of course a lie. She's dead to me now, thanks to you telling me why she behaves the way she does. I'm grateful to you letting me know what is wrong with her.
I wish I knew about narcissist behavior when I was young. Your description of how my 1st husband acted is spot on. I was with him for 13 yrs. Unfortunately, the relationship started when I was 18. I "escaped" when I was 33. It took me years to get over the bullshit he did. Not only during the entire relationship, but the child custody battle was awful! Lasted 2 years with me keeping every single email we exchanged, keeping a diary of his behavior and our conversations. Later when my son was old enough to understand things, he questioned MY behavior due to what his father told him. His father had poisoned his mind about me not caring, etc. I simply took out those emails and he saw the real picture. So in short (too late) document everything. Every exchange you have, who was there etc. It's a pain sometimes but it really helped my relationship with my son. After he saw the reality, he saw his dad in a new light and it wasn't good.
THANK YOU. My ex wife told her family and friends I was abusing her and mistreating her… I divorced her cuz she was cheating and had a child by her AP. Cuz she needed a place to stay, she started lying to her family about me… I send them screenshots of how she was begging me to take her back, how wonderful a guy I am etc 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Always keep receipts ladies and gentlemen
And I take it in the near future, GENUINE receipts, because narcs will not be above trying to fake texts to keep the lie going. I reckon phone companies helping to offer legit backtracking timestamps and receipts for a narc's even further lies will be in order.
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Spot on!!!! She always tried to make me feel like I was a horrible person and i bought it for awhile and constantly hated myself. I finally stop buying it and tried to get her to take accountability and that's when I saw a side of her that i had never seen. She basically kicked me out and tried getting other people to think i was a horrible person.
Spot on…sums up my 6 years of marriage. In the process now of trying to ruin my life with false child abuse allegations. Biggest mistake I made was feeling the need to constantly defend myself and react. Wish I would have documented more thoroughly but thank God I did document a lot.
I was physically attacked and then my partner called the police on me for physical assault. Thankfully a third person was there and witnessed it and told the police . AND this person also stole $1100 out of my wallet and then claimed I had stole from them several months earlier but they never told anyone or called the police . However, I had the theft ON video so …
Spot on!!! She’s used the court system against me. Before watching this video I documented everything and it helped so much! Judges do not like liars as you e mentioned. Also evidence is very powerful. I couldn’t afford a lawyer, so I represented myself. She went on smear campaign saying I couldn’t get along with her family when I never really interacted with them ever.
Spot on! Your videos have helped me deal with a narcissist family member. I am now on the level that I don’t get triggered anymore, I use only email with them (and they did try to guilt trip me twice for ending communication via phone), email also helps document things. I can now see them for who they are, they mimic a lot, and I feel just so much happier now that I don’t talk to them on the phone. And our email communication is sporadic. Thank you, Rebecca for making these informative videos, they really help people get their power/voices back.
Email is an excellent idea. I have a narcissistic sister-in-law who bullied me at the airport. We haven't spoken since. I have already decided not to meet or talk with her alone. If she wants to communicate it can be done by email.
Most definitely SPOT ON...& from what I've experienced, I explained all of this to narcissist & it was all lies, denial, rage, & attempts of justification for negative behavior. Thank u for informing everyone about this mental behavior.
I have had a judge who will not let me tell her what he has been doing to me and the kids for the last 5 years, but lets him go on long lying tyraids. She called me "terrible" today and said i was just like him after years of me accommodating, backing down, and trying to keep the peace. I just stood there like, how, how can she believe him? Can't she see, can't she hear blah blah, blah. Why won't she let me show her all these years of proof! The smearing. I do not know how to handle it. How can she not hear the contradiction? It is devastating. I don't have enough money for her to see the pattern, so this is helpful.
This is whats happening to me . False accusations every week . You see multiple personalities. They ignore things they say . You cant stay with a person like this . I notice also that when they start changing into that good person and treat you the way you should be treated it usually only lasts a day than it all goes back to that other personality that makes accusations and is short with you . Its a pattern . It goes over and over just like that . In my case they admitted they were a narcissist than come back and say at least i can admit what i am . Than they lay another guilt trip on you . There is no peace when you are with someone like this . Its sad for me because they know how they treat you and they dont care and you love them . We will separate soon . Its not what i wanted . Its not what God wanted . You can only take care of you at this point. I wasnt educated enough to know what i walked into. I loved who i thought she was. Thank you for the advise .
Alot of the times what we want is not what's best for us. You can't allow yourself to let someone elses issues drag you down. Know God did not make you to fail. Know that you have the strength in you to overcome all obstacles if you just tap into the inner badass that is in all of us. Tap into your iron will and it will help you through now, this moment in eternity
Yep.False accusation almost daily...Multiple personalities. How can they change personality in a second. THey will never hear you. They can voice out, but we can't.
Never hearing you goes so many ways. It’s not just the explaining what you want or need, they don’t hear you about anything! I can tell him about an event, a movie coming up etc. and he does not remember hours later. I am a non person to him beyond domestic supply.
In a previous suit against my brother I almost busted out laughing. I cited he kept driving by three or four times an evening like a stalker. He said to the judge "With the price of gas right now, what sane person would do that?" I was thinking "Thank you. You just made my point for me!"
Oh my gosh. Spot on. I am in the middle of divorcing and I am dealing with mom who is a piece of work at times. Since I have woke up on finding out narcissist people, I could not believe how many were around me. My mom, one brother, my stbx, and my brother's girlfriend. Your videos are spot on with the behaviors that have been exhibited. I am in therapy now working to heal from the damage caused by these no good buzzards.
Hello from Alexandria, Virginia. Your descriptions and video examples of narcissistic behavior are "spot on". The practice in which I participated, in Southern California (Mecca for the most narcissistic personalities on earth), was, for me, an ordeal; There is no other term, of which I'm aware, that comes close to adequately describing my experiences. I adopted a six-word phrase that protected me from falling into a narcissist's trap. When people approached me and asked a personal question, I responded in kind with this: Why Do You Want to Know? That shut down the narcissist every time. I very much appreciated your TH-cam postings. Thank you.
I find most of my covert narcs accusations were actually projections of what they are doing. For example she accused me of hiding money, gambling, substance abuse, & having another partner on the side. All things she has been doing!
37 years with a narcissist. Only a few years ago realized that he is a narcissist and what narcissism is! I am emotionally and physically drained. 3 times Cancer which I truly believe was stressed induced. We are religious and my husband always uses religion to back up his narcissistic behaviour. Happy to find your channel. I have a lot to learn!
I myself just realized my husband’s a narcissist.. I agree with your about your illnesses.. I’ve lost 30 lbs in the last month in a half.. I asked my husband if he noticed and he said no.. Lol.. from 160 to 130 .. seriously. I had started to concern me so I did get some blood work done waiting for the results. I’ll be praying for you. Sorry you’ve lived in this misery..
You're so right, they really do give you tons of material to use as leverage but if you can play the long game, as I have for 2 years, you'll end up with a stockpile of goodies for the lawyer. Going to court in September, and all the ammo and truth are on my side.
SPOT ON! You are awesome thank you for confirming that what i am doing dealing with my sister is correct. No emotion when there are false allegations as she wants me to get upset so she can then behave shocked and ask why am i upset lol
So lucky now in UK law, no reasons are needed for divorce now and now no physical hearing needed. Only for the later financial order goes to trial if needed for the money and assets splittiing part.
They have conversations with themselves... mine would talk to himself all the time , mumble under his breath and he is creating a story that fits his narrative .
This is so excellent! Just had a terrible confrontation with a terrible unhappy family narcissist. She triggered me and I bit. But I have to admit she was relentless. Even though it was in public I learned a lot. Never ever again.
The devaluing phase lasted years while he was sleeping with his friend's wife and waited for me to complete a very rigorous RN program. The final year of our marriage was the discard, behind-the-scenes set-ups, smear campaigns, etc. So by the time he dumped me, he had already set up his plan with his friend's wife and his flying monkeys and others had already heard what a terrible wife and mother I was.
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I have been dealing for 37 years with my Narcissistic husband! Didn’t realize it until 5 years ago and Im still getting out of it!! I look at it from the third party now! No longer living with him and it blows my mind what I see! How was I so blind and how did he take my power away? I’m a smart person but he left me a mental mess!!!!! They are soooo good at what they do! Evil😡😡
This one has my me on it. My roommate loves to do this, And tell other people too! Oh my ex husband said awful lies even in the original divorce papers. I had a great lawyer my I got everything. I never react when my roommate starts making false allegations and acting like a lunatic. Thanks again Rebecca!❤️ Spot on!
Wonderful Rebecca, The more of these videos I watch, the less significant and less effective narcissists' manipulation, destruction, seduction, domination and desperation seem. These people are just so weak. It's sad to know that they, themselves, could actually be productive and healthily co-existent with the rest of us and have the potential to create, promote and foster a giving, inclusive landscape in their own, and others' lives. But, very tragically, they won't. Thanks for making US the winners, Rebecca!
Spot on. May I add to stick with your boundaries at all times and protect yourself. Don't care when people call you paranoid for setting strict safety boundaries. Remember that graveyards are full of people who have trusted narcissists and psychopaths.
My husband claimed I locked him out of the house while he was in the garage…he called the cops on me, they showed up at the door, banged like crazies, scared me to death, then proceeded to tell me that if I did that again they would have to take me in…I was so scared, looked at my husband which was smiling behind the cops and felt sooo alone and worried about the future. He then told me that the first one that start calling the cops wins the battle 🤯
If you are so sick of the drama, trauma, and chaos- and want real powerful strategies for success - I’ve got the answer for you - sign up for our free webinar and start your transformative journey- this is the day your life changes!>> www.icanslay.com ✨
Rebecca, you’re Spot On. However, it’s way more difficult and much more dynamic when one is dealing with their narcissistic parent. Very helpful though.
Yes the Guilt trips !! - using the children , saying what an awful selfish mother I am !! And yes they change their facts frequently, I never thought my ex husband was stupid when we were together but I certainly do now, trips himself up time and time again - it’s like he’s delusional- very odd !
I'm hurt beyond all measure, then I find this...I've watched many videos but this is one of the best and doesn't want me to turn to God or something. This is real advice. I'm 62 and want to just have a nice life, quiet and happy, because so far I've had a lot to deal with. I want to give myself that gift. x
Hi Rebecca! I just finished listening to the whole video and I took notes! This was an absolutely incredible and so helpful video! Thank you so much! When you mentioned the smear campaign taking place before the discard, YUP!!! And becoming a Teflon coated impartial/indifferent observer made so much sense! I'm gonna have to listen to this again and again and again because it's so to the point! Thank you so very much! 🙏⚖️🙏
So, my narc is saying that im an abuser. When the truth is that he tries to terrorize me,throws out ,breaks my things then rwcorda my reaction. How do i defend myself when the narc has "evidence"? Any other kinds of suggesstions??Btw,Ms Zung ,great work
Thank you so much. I have helped my partner for 3 years and when I was struggling financially because I helped them so much they made false allegations to tarnish my reputation. I was arrested by the police and face severe penalties. I can easily disprove the allegations but I am deeply hurt that the person I gave my all too, would betray me like this. But there were signs. Many signs. I just chose to ignore them because I naively believed they would get better.
Rebecca thank you for all of the work you do. Just had the divorce and custody case heard in front of a the judge today. After 2 years of narc wife delaying, changing attorneys and as many false accusations as someone can count. Judge awarded my entire parenting plan even over riding the g.a.l. recommendations more in my favor. Narc couldn't hide her controlling and manipulations in court.
If you are so sick of the drama, trauma, and chaos- and want real powerful strategies for success - I’ve got the answer for you - sign up for our free webinar and start your transformative journey- this is the day your life changes!>> www.icanslay.com ✨
📌Do you want to know more about dealing with the narcissist's false accusations? Join me in my free webinar at www.icanslay.com 💪💪
I'll be there for you! ❤
See I want to believe you when you say that judges hate liars and lazy people who don’t follow court orders in my case nothing could be further from the truth literally I documented chronological order every single lie my narcissistic ex-wife made to obtain a DVPO and she was granted the DVPO. With literally zero evidence no police reports no medical records no photos of bruises or lacerations cuts whatever the hell you wanna call it not a single witness not even a friend or family member to testify saying yeah you know she’s been telling me about this abusive monster for years. I spent close to $15,000 to fight this bullshit DVPO just to lose. The judges don’t give a goddamn about anything except for making money for the machine and if you have a penis you lose 100% of the time. Pierce County Washington state
Hi. Babe. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
I totally agree when you say that narcissists are very lazy.
Spot on.
Narcissists are naturals when it comes to spreading fear, slander, and deception.
1. Respond if needed, but do not react
2. Document. Diligently and in real time
3. Don't get sucked into the mud
4. Become immune to guilt trips
5. Use one form of communication
6. Never be alone with them
7. Never feed them after midnight
@@jackpot6829 its funny but its also sad and epic that its actualy insanely real
These are great parameters. Thanks for sharing.
Ugh your number 2 step to Document. I know you are right but the idea of doing that sucks. (2.) Document diligently in real time. yuck. Besides how do you do that in a casual setting and not be ridiculed anyway ?
@@johnmcgrath3466 I was just summarizing the video. I'm no expert... However, this is what I would recommend. Never meet in person. If absolutely necessary to meet in person, bring legal witnesses. Use only methods of communication that are easy to document like email or specialized apps. And perhaps use a calendar (like Gmail calendar) to document events.
This should be taught in every highschool education to protect people from psychological abuse
I agree with prepping younger ones on dealing with false accusations!
Children would not get this. HS are TEENS- not adults yet
Healthy boundaries should be taught.
Much sooner like Elementary
You are the victim of the educational system. You honestly, truly believe, they want to teach you something valuable in high school?
Travel the world. Try to learn how the FAMILIES function in culturally rich countries with thousands of years of history.
I seen my ex-wife, who is a narcissist, to devalue A TOP PSYCHOLOGIST. The people with strong sense of cultural identity, could sense/understand her tactics from a mile away - while the psychologist was in a room with her, treated like an ignorant child.
In a corporate run culture, people are turned into senseless consumers. The pharmaceutical companies will run out of business, if they create the right environment, for you to learn the basic rules about human nature. People in corporate run countries are conditioned to chase pleasur, sound politically correc, feed their ego with subjective nonsense. Put the phone down, turn off the TV, start reading books, if you wanna regain control of your yourself. Everything you need to function normally in this life, is already inside you.
I never realized how dangerous they are… they can destroy a man’s life by false accusations. This is so scary… I dated a narcissist and it was a nightmare. It makes dating or talking to women very difficult. Thank you for your help.
I believe I was falsely accused to the authorities by a narcissist Jezebel neighbor, back in '93. There's plenty of Jezebel types teaching in the temple, 'these days ' (+ Rev.2:20)
A Jezebel represents Hell
They're false accussers and lovers of themselves, as relates in 2 Tim.3:1-3
I believe Satan's extreme blow to his pride given him in the Garden of Eden for wanting to be worshipped like God in his own right will be healed through Jezebel types. Satan is called the accuser of the brethren (Rev.12:10) in the last days (times of the light of the gospel of Jesus Christ going on in the world) before darkness (the power and authority of Satan through his heads and people/deceived followers) takes over completely in an overwhelming attempt to overthrow the government of God
Or a woman’s! But yeah, I have seen many men be victims.
Happened to me... was doing dishes she flew at me ripped my phone from my pocket all I did was keep a grip on my phone till it came free she called the cops an said I threw her down went to jail on Easter weekend wasn't allowed to go to my own home probation yada yada yada... CRAZY
Just remember, there truly are good people out there. Think about all these nice people that are making these comments. They have been hurt and I find it very difficult to attach to any man anymore. But we have to remember, everybody's not a narcissist!
@@marcialussier2467 No, not everyone is a narcissist but after a lifetime of abuse and trauma I have become somewhat shell shocked.
And because of that I am suspicious of relationships (with a partner or finding a friendship with other women). She drove a wedge between my marriage, tried to take my son away, claiming I was a drug addict. I took a hair test to prove to the judge and her I was NEVER a drug addict.
I tend to enjoy my time alone. Come to think of it, I grew up alone, in my room, friends weren’t encouraged both parents were brutally narcissistic and I believe for the most part, they didn’t want me to see how “happy/healthy” famlies interact!
NO WAY ALLOWED TO SPEND THE NIGHT AT A G/F’s house. She emancipated me at 15 in a court of law claiming I was the problem.
I left home at 16 with such anger and I always felt LESS THAN and undeserving of love. It was very damaging. You can get rid of a spouse through a divorce, but as a young child there is NO ESCAPE, except going within!
"Narcissists love to accuse you of things falsely" TRUE!!!!!!!!!!!!
Rev.2:20 is probably how Satan will be loosed to establish his government, after an overwhelming attempt to overthrow the government of God through his heads and people/followers. Satan is called the accuser of the brethren ( Rev.12:10) in the last days ( times of the light of the gospel of Jesus Christ going on in the world) before darkness ( the power and authority of Satan) takes over completely in an overwhelming attempt to overthrow the government of God.
There's plenty of narcissist Jezebel types teaching in the temple today.
Those types can get the world to come together through their wrong judgments,beliefs--and treachery.
Mat.24:- 5,11,24 is happening now!!!
(+ 1TIM.4:1,2; 2Tim.4:3,4; 2Pet.2:1-3; Acts 20:29,30)
They are making fun of you ,they want to see your reaction
I call this crap "confessions by projection"
I'm currently dealing with one. It's mind-boggling how they are so expert & guiltless at this yet failing in all common sense aspects of their life. I gotta be living in another time and space to be witnessing this. God help us.
@atht55 I had one of those, I'm still amazed how stupid she was..seriously can't describe it..delusional and rambled for hrs everyday about the same ol shyte over and over.. I cracked, I'm not proud of how I handled it..seriously my head couldn't get ready for that bs everyday..
I’ve heard a saying: “Accusations are actually confessions.”
Truth!
It seems ppl usually accuse the things of which they would do or are doing …
So true! They've got sooo very twisted minds! What they did they accuse you of and if they missed out on doing necessary stuff, they blame you of failure! I experienced this over and over again! 😈
@@cosmea553 this made me think back, yeah its true
Totally agree.
Be aware of a narcissist that tries to apologize to you only to take them back/forgive them, but then turn around and blame you for it. It's never genuine with them! 💙TH-camr That Helps People Overcome Toxic Relationships
Never had an apology!
Never had one but he got worse each time I took him back.
You mean like apologizing for cheating but then saying she would try therapy if you only you hadn’t told anyone? Being embarrassed is worse than cheating lol
Oh brother where art thou, one part in theater presoner says do not go there.
Bibel says a dog will return to his vomit.
Lets not be the narrsist dog.
Spot on
They accuse of things THEY’RE doing. Don’t defend yourself. It’s useless. Walk away. It will never change. They can’t hear you. And the abuse will NEVER end. Of course, this only applies to those who are free to walk away. If you’re in a relationship, get out.
Yes agreed to the walking away bc if you waste your time trying to defend it'll fall on deaf ears OR IF YOU DONT then to the narc it will be an admission that he was right then he'll punish you bc that's all they do!
I'm thinking caulk your losses up and go . I'm 60 with 30 yrs in and she wins ,, I can't spend the rest of my life walking in eggshells
What if the person that’s acting that way is a neighbor who tries to get under your skin and when you confront them by making a complaint with the police, they
Falsely accuse you of things you haven’t done how do you deal with something like that?
Right now I am so deeply hurt this gentleman showed me he was trying to do something online and his credit card was not going through and out of no where my phone number came up with my name. And eventhough I am telling him I don't understand how my name come up he is saying I was trying to use his credit. I cried and still is. How do I prove am not guilty
@andrearowe8103 find one of his friends to explain it to him because he is not listening to the one he things is guilty
It's important that people know, hiding income, not paying child support, paying relatives to hide extra income is a real thing.
Yes it Is
Trust Yourself & Patterns
And the family is toxic too
The only connection I can think of is that both are based on the perpetrator’s undue emphasis of his/her own thoughts/emotions. In narcissistic abuse, perpetrators usually expresses the attitude that everything centers around them. They may object to that description and even insist that they don’t believe that; but, their actions say otherwise. Virtually everything you do/don’t do gets tied back to the perpetrator as a person. You’re either doing something right b/c you’re smart, capable, etc., or you’re intentionally doing it wrong in order to hurt/anger the perpetrator in some way. You are also likely to be accused of doing it wrong, even if you’re doing it right-again b/c of the perpetrator’s thoughts/emotions. Toxic positivity is generally not perpetrated with the intention to hurt anyone, and most wouldn’t even recognize it as being toxic/hurtful; but, in most cases, the perpetrator is still oblivious to the effect it has on others, and to the value of that effect. Narcissism is a psychological disorder and, with few exceptions, abuse is perpetrated with the tangible intention of causing harm. In contrast, toxic positivity is a behavioral flaw that is essentially an extreme version of selfishness, based in denial, and is generally perpetrated with the intention of maintaining and creating happiness. Most people are selfish, in some way or another. Toxic positivity is a subtle expression of selfishness-so subtle that even the perpetrator may not realize why it’s wrong b/c, after all, s/he is only seeking to encourage/uplift people. This is where denial comes in. Most people struggle/suffer, at some point or another. I believe that most people are also aware that there are people who experience more pain than they are aware of from their own lives. Denial allows people to look at someone who reminds them of themselves and assume that they cannot be justified in their suffering b/c the observer is not suffering. Denial also allows people who have suffered to deny the significance of other people’s suffering b/c it is notably different from their own, or b/c they perceive it as being notably different. From here, there are 2 extremes: One is for them to be semi-consciously abusive-meaning that they are generally aware that their actions are hurtful; but, they rationalize it as being justified. The other is to perpetrate toxic positivity-in which they are completely unaware that their actions are hurtful and it’s difficult for them to identify why they would be. Additionally, If you need to find out about a cheating spouse; send a request to: Metaspyhub@gmail. com
So true! The hardest part is to wrap our heads around their craziness. A mentally healthy person does not do this!
So true!!
It is mind blowing how they’ll just keep hammering and hammering at you with false accusations as if they’re going to convince you that you did something you didn’t.
@@pocahontas4583 So true!
They will physically abuse you and deny it the next day!
He pushed me into a wall so hard I bumped my forehead and I blacked out for a few seconds.
The next day, I confront him, asking him why he did this. His answer? « I did nothing, you’re so clumsy, you just slipped. » I was shocked!!
Another day, we were arguing and he jumped me! Same thing, he said: « I had to defend myself, YOU hit me! » WHAT?? I - 😮
Incredible how he twisted everything that happened! It’s a horrible / scary experience.
@@pocahontas4583 I believe I was secretly accused to the authorities by a narcissistJezebel neighbor back in '93, of things I know not. She REALLY has me all charged up 'these ', after Mother recently passed away. She's behind that. Rev.18 speaks of her. She's got serious blood on her damn hands. Rev.2:20 and Rev.17 also relates to her. She wants my head on a platter. She won't rest until that happens, as relates in Rev.14:11. Satan is called the accuser of the brethren ( Rev.12:10) in the last days ( times of the light of the gospel of Jesus Christ going on in the world) before darkness ( the power and authority of Satan through his heads and people /misled followers) takes over completely in an overwhelming attempt to overthrow the government of God
(' these days ')
This is my life 30 years ago. No one realized this back then. The court system was not a justice system. It was a horrible time in my life. I am 70 now and I am at peace but it has been a hard journey. .Thank you for helping people, Rebecca.
Narcs are the prosecutors at regulators in the UK....
God's love for us is much bigger than the narcs' horribleness.
✝️🫂☯️☮️🙏🙂
@@julietcrowson3503 Yes, thankful to God everyday. When you "know " you have no value, it is hard to walk through everything that is put before you. Part of my problem was my mother taught me the same thing...it took me 60+ years to walk away from her as well. She died 17 months ago and it has brought such peace to my heart. Few people understand but I have learned not to try and get them to understand. You have to live it.
@@kvj859 we probably should pray every day 🙏☯️🫂✝️
O gosh 🙏
@@kvj859 my mom is your age and I know the toll of this abuse on the mind, body, and soul. How anyone can not see what they have done, or they do and don't care.
I had the strength to leave.
This isn't limited to partnerships. Narsistic siblings, parents, false friends, co-workers, etc can create the same horror.
16:40 My Narcissist sadly is my daughter. She has said the most ridiculous things about her “bad childhood” when in reality, she had an amazing childhood. Anyone that really knew her as a child knows that these statements are all untrue. She’s now 36 and cycles through being hateful towards me, or “tolerating” me. Always in toleration mode when she needs something big; a loan or something big such as that.
I’ve learned my lesson and have walked away.
I’ll always love her, but I wouldn’t let a friend treat me and talk so rudely .. so I’m not letting her either.
Complete strangers can also do this
YUP! hate working with the mean girl types and have had to quit jobs over it :(
I think whole systems can suffer with it.
@@Beth-iv4lj definitely! I look at our culture here
After two narcissistic partners I’ve invested in learning how to be happy and complete as a single person.
❤ so glad you have found peace
Thank you. The narcissist who makes false accusations can also be a neighbor or coworker. It is not just limited to a person you had a previous intimate relationship with.
I believe I was falsely accused to the authorities in '93 by a narcissist Jezebel neighbor. There's plenty of Jezebel types teaching in the temple, 'these days ' (+ Rev.2:20) They're false accussers and lovers of themselves, as relates in 2 Tim.3:1-3 .
I won't be surprised if Satan comes into full authority as God by such types. Satan is called the accuser of the brethren ( Rev.12:10) in the last days ( times of the light of the gospel of Jesus Christ going on in the world) before darkness ( the power and authority of Satan through his heads and people/deceived followers) takes over completely in an overwhelming attempt to overthrow the government of God
Mat.24-5,11,24; 1Tim.4 1,2;2Tim.4:3,4; 2Pet.2:1-3; Acts 20:29,30 are all happening now!!!
Unlike Jesus, I'm dumb ( Mat.27:12)
God knows my case. This is Jacob's trouble ( Jer.30:-7-), described in Mat.24:21 ; Dan.12:1
By following my 4 Step plan, you can win when dealing with narcissism! Learn more >> ICANSLAY.COM 🌟
My ex was a covert Narcissist. He would always accuse me of doing things or saying things that NEVER came out of my mouth. At first, very early into our relationship, I thought he was just "mistaken" and meant no harm. Then...it started to become a pattern. That's when I realized he would fabricate things in order to win disagreements and make me squirm. It's like he got this internal thrill by triggering me, for no apparent reason. Every few weeks, he would start a petty argument. I thought I was going crazy...and yes, I wanted to record conversations. Weirdest encounter I ever had.
this is me to a t. theses narcs are crazy.
That’s the roller coaster ride that never ends.
Da Diva I'm in one now..I dont know how to get out of it..PLEASE HELP.Should I see a therapist?
Same here
@@christinenewhouse6920leave him asap!
I really think they actually start believing their own lies!! A true sickness!
The worst part is when this kind of person gets the world to believe the lie.
Imagine those types passing lie detector tests, for believing their own lies.Dear God.
Yes, I know one who will try to justify lying, or outright LIE. about LYING!
If the justification is obviously, embarrassingly lame, or if it has zero logic, Ive pointed it out (actually while laughing at him is that not nice?), he has literally mumbled something stupid as he leaves the room. If he's got nothing, he runs.
They do believe their own lies! They leave out their evildoings and parts that make them look bad to make themselves look like a hero, saviour or victim. Then they regale their story to anyone that will listen and in their mind they think "Hey. I have these other people telling my story of how great I am so it must be true!"
My brother (again) split with his wife and went their separate ways. The reason was he was caught cheating a multitude of times. She said if he didn't stop cheating, she would find someone else to emotionally support her just like he had been doing for sex. With my sister in law it was lack of emotional support toward her and their two kids.
He begged her to come back after a few months under the stipulation that SHE would have to give up her boyfriend, but made no mention of him not cheating, and of course she said no. Now when he tells why they broke up, he says "Its because she wouldn't give up her boyfriend even though I said I would take her back if she did." No mention of his multiple affairs or violent behavior toward she and the kids. Why? Because in his eyes he genuinely believes he was the victim.
They do. Then they use charisma and convince others of it. That's where things get dangerous
Yah…. They are patologic liers
"Don't be surprised when they act like themselves, be surprised when they act normal."
That comment was mind blowing and takes staying calm during trial to a whole new level. Thank you, Rebecca. I will keep this in mind.
It scares me when there nice
There's no hope, them acting like a normal human being,
When the evil is simmering
Inside them, at all times,
They are miserable people
Want to dragg down every one
They know, especially there close empaths, or empath,
Carry around a voice recorder at all times
When mine is calm for too long, I just know that the meltdown is coming soon. He made it for 8 days before his meltdown this last time. I was impressed.
Absolutely. Horrific lying and accusations. And this abuse is not recognized, and no one wants to help.
Satan must be having a BIG, ugly laugh over all of the treacherous accusations, placing his kind in authority and power worldwide.
GOD help HIS chosen people
Get away go no contact. Move towns if you get the chance
I have been separated from my narcissist ex-partner for 7 months now. Despite having a restraining order against him and their current bail status for battery, they continue to use the legal system to harass me. Every 4-6 weeks, they make false child abuse claims to the authorities, resulting in police visits to my home. Although no evidence of abuse is found, and the cases are eventually closed, I am told that my ex-partner cannot be held accountable for making false reports because welfare calls to the cops are not illegal. This pattern of behavior is also repeated with child protective services, causing unnecessary stress and trauma for my family. I can't believe this is allowed he has claimed horrific false claims from sexual child abuse to animal cruelty you name it he has mentioned it a couple of the cops that have come to my home to do a walkthrough have laughed because how outrageous the lies are but I'm not finding this funny at all it's horrible
Everybdy thinks hes such a great guy always smiling and speaks to everyone so happily...no one knows the level of craziness except the person hes intimate with
I dealt with this for five years!! These people are sick. I thought I was helping someone who was mentally ill. Little did I know.
No. You thought right.
@@dennismclaurin1487this is not a mental illness, it cannot be treated with therapy or medicine. This is a sociopathic disorder very deep within the person's psyche, and cannot be helped with any kind of treatment.
Oms broski shanty was normal for years then bam 💥 her real self came out 😂
"Spot on!" I am 24 days away to 6-15-22, divorce day. This past week the last piece of the puzzel and a huge piece of leverage was discovered. My ex had been working for months but had told the judge that she was disabled and her doctors had not cleared her to go back to work. She has no idea that i now know not only where she works but also how much she makes, when she started, and where she has her direct deposits going. I had been paying her alimony despite me having custody of our 10 year old daughter and she has not been having to pay child support.
Also uncovered this week is that she has been on multiple dating sites since 2014 meeting with both men and women and she had the nerve to been accusing me of cheating for all those years smh.
She has yet to provide one piece of documentation for this divorce. We had a motion to compel filed and are waiting for her to be sanctioned. She was also found guilty by trial of violating the protection order i had againist her.
I have documented like crazy from day one in all forms, journeling, audio recording and video recording. She has lost every little battle so far by me doing my due diligence and the biggest battle is 24 days away. Two days ago she sent me a message saying how she wants us back together and how the family needs us together blah, blah, blah. I did not even respond to it.
The beauty of my leverage is that it is rebuttal evidence that is not privy to having get disclosed in discovery. We just continue to not just feed her rope but also her flying monkees. Yes i have all the texts and conversations audio recoded i have had with them so they will be exposed right along with her should they choose to take the stand.
My lawyer and i are pushing for the judge to order that we communicate through "our family wizard" post divorce. I have child protective services, my daughters school councelor and teacher, three police officers, multiple family friends and former employees going to court to testify on my behalf.
I am so ready to SLAY this malignent narc that had physically, emotionally and sexually abused me over the 23 years i was with her. June 15th is my day to be vindicated and gain justice but most importantly freedom from the insanity. I am breaking the chain of domestic abuse and showing my kids that it is only to late to leave if you are dead. Rebecca your channel has guided me through the legal part of this so thank you. Dr les carter's channel has given me the emotional support group that complements my going to counceling so my thanks also goes to there.
If i can make it through this then anyone can do this. Know you are not alone and support is available. Most importantly be true to yourself and dont sacrifice your own morals trying to beat the narc. So strong and stay safe and please take care if your mental health.
Thank you for sharing. Stay strong! 💪🙌❤
Thank you Good luck handle your business.
Keep us posted on divorce day
What a joy to be legally free
I am sorry you’re going through this! You’ve already won the battle by staying strong. You got this!
@@angelabluebird609 thank you
Spot on, as always! The more I learn about narcissism, the more I feel bad for those who suffer from it, especially in excess. But, that shred of sympathy only goes so far, considering they're still usually mean, angry, manipulative, bullies. Just the same, I often just tell myself "They're simply unhappy creatures who are jealous of the happiness of light bringers".
Exactly. They suck the light and life out of good people. They are psychological vampires.
I agree with you completely. I understand where it comes from and the how's and why's of what happened to me but I don't think it's justifiable to treat anyone abusively because you are hurting. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and take care 🙂🌬💕
Everything is spot on Rebecca. I grew up with a psychopath for a mother. She tried to kill me more than a few times. She turned my brothers against me. Why did I become her target? She wanted a girl. She did some of the most horrible things to me you could imagine. I am in therapy. I have memory gaps but writing a book has helped me put the pieces together. INCREDIBLE! Pure evil!
Thank you for your post. It helps others- myself- to not feel so alone. I'm so sorry you grew up with this. My only differences are that mine hasn't tried to kill me, she just physically and mentally abused me. And I am a female, the only one. So I think there was something to that (I'm the scapegoat) She loves the males in my family more and treats them way different. She turned my family against me too and I've been recently black listed from them. I hope you get to share your writing, I'll be interested to see it.
@@TruthBeTold0914 thank you so much. It is an amazing read. A real page turner. All kinds of abuse. 08/24/2022 filed a criminal complaint against someone she got to try and kill me in 2018. I found the video through Google. I thought I lost it. Google sent me an email the day before with the video. Your memories from 2018. Thank God for Google
I'll tell you how you deal with someone's narcissistic traits you walk away go no contact and never look back. Wish I had been stronger in the earlier stages but here I am getting my self worth back.
If you are so sick of the drama, trauma, and chaos- and want real powerful strategies for success - I’ve got the answer for you - sign up for our free webinar and start your transformative journey- this is the day your life changes!>> www.icanslay.com ✨
Oh boy you nailed it! The ex a covert narcissist FALSELY accuses me of the things he is doing! Smh! Does it daily despite I left HIM 2.5 yrs ago. Tyvm for your knowledge💜
You got this!
I left her 3 years ago and it took watching this and hearing from other people who relate because they literally went through the same things everything she did she accused me of doing to her
I just went through a nasty divorce with a covert narcissist. It took me a while to learn the person I was dealing with. I’m thankful to come out on the other side mostly unscathed. You MUST request a court ordered app to communicate, I did and I wish I had done it sooner. My story has a happy ending though. Although I went though a year of literal hell with someone making false allegations, trying to financially ruin me and me having to spend 20k in attorney fees to uncover the truth it was absolutely necessary!!! I also had to use my leverage very strategically. Now I’m actually better off even financially after this I am happy to say. It was a huge chess game during the entire divorce that lasted more than a year. Never trust someone who you suspect is a narcissist especially during a divorce. I lost a few pawns and even a bishop or a rook, but in the end I got checkmate. Rebecca is “spot on”with this advice. I wish I discovered this advice in the first month of my divorce. Its essential and can help you survive and even thrive in the long run. Someday soon I will have to share my full story. I could write a book on it. Do NOT underestimate how low a narcissist will go in a divorce!
I’m in the middle of a nasty divorce and custody battle with the covert narcissist I’ve been with total for almost 10 years. Absolutely hell for my son (5 y/o autistic boy) and 14 year old daughter. Please tell me we will get on the other side of this! I’ve been using a lot of Rebecca’s wonderful strategies and even though I’ve lots a couple bishops and rooks, he is unraveling now. He is surprisingly proving to the court through his desperate behavior why it would be impossible to co-parent with! Man, I hope this turns out the way it should be!
Well done Keith and sending my best wishes x
No defamation court?
I'm going thru the same thing right now.
Dealing with charges bc they believe the Narcissist.
They get very ugly when they are trying to get power of attorney. We have an in-law, not a blood relative, trying to get control over our Mom. She is a nurse and using that for her reason. We are wise to her and Mom still has a good mind. If I had to handle this alone I don't think I could. Her passive husband is not always on her side but he doesn't always stand up for himself or others. There is a chance she could win if Mom becomes demented or mentally disabled. Mom is trying to protect herself from that..
My mother accused falsely I just blocked her and went no contact and banned her from coming near me or my home or my kids. Blood doesn't make family. My ex also took me to court and all the lies he said about me the judge saw through him and his lies because we had not spoken or seen each other for 3 years. He lost the case and lost his money too. The judge rolled in my favour and I couldn't be more happier ☺️.
After dealing with a narcissist and trying to make sense of it….as soon as you recognize what’s going on….just leave. Forget the strategy, just leave and have them served with a restraining order.
That’s what I’m currently doing. I wish I’d done it a long time ago.
My narc used to plant seeds to people throughout our entire relationship. ANYTIME we got into a disagreement he would call friends or family and-say the most outlandish stuff. He would apologize to me in private but the damage had already been done. Everyone thought I was crazy and he was doing Gods work staying married to a crazy woman. It was really really sick. I had no voice .
How are you doing now? Hope feeling well and getting your power back! Perhaps my upcoming webinar might help - ICANSLAY.COM
Man this hit hard . After 22 years of marriage I found actual evidence to prove her infidelity . The next day she told the police I raped her and my life was shattered. I lost my kids , my family, my house and job making $10k a month . She Told everyone I never paid bills and I was mean . I volunteered to coach all my kids after school activities . And after she couldn’t pay the bills but I mentioned she said I never paid anything that why can’t she pay like she claimed I didn’t do . I’m still dealing with the Courts over this . After I helped her get a new car for my daughter to have transportation. She told the courts I went to her house and started arguing with her . She did try to start the argument but I left . But again I’m the one in trouble. Stay away from these people.. I even stopped contact with my children and that hurts this most but it’s for my own good .
Oh honey wow!!! Praying for you! God has this. I’ve been through similar and I promise you that it WILL work out! This is not the rest of your life. It will end. Your children back in your life soon. Love again. So much pain I know. Praying nightly for you. ❤️🙏
I am so sorry to hear this. My partner is a victim of false allegations as well. You have to keep going, push through hell and get out the other side. It’s the last thing she expects!
Also. We need to speak about this SO MUCH MORE! We have a system that is set up to protect people but was left wide open for exploitation by shameless manipulators. We need to fight the system and change it so we stop aiding and abetting these LIARS! (Yeah, I’m angry)
@@jodiejo1609 Hi Jodie,My name is Meri-lee. I really need your prayers. I'm dealing with major coercive control, stalking,false accusations, and attempts on my life. I've been drugged against my will,accused, threatened,I can't take anymore, and I have no money! And he puts gps trackers in my stuff. Other people are actually helping him and lots of people believe I'm a slut and I'm not even sleeping with anyone! Celibate going in four years in January. Help please. If you can please pray neither one of my enemies win against me and that ppl can help me and know I'm not a bad person that would be great. Much love to you. Thank you for your time.💛💯
You’re definitely not on your own my friend, it’s true what the Bible says “the devil rules the earth”, not for much longer thankfully. 1 John chapter 5 verse 19 and Psalm 37 verses 10,11 amongst others.
This is where Satan's deadly wound ( extreme blow to his pride given him in the Garden of Eden for wanting to be worshipped like God in his own right) will be healed (+ Rev 13:3). Satan is called the accuser of the brethren ( Rev.12:10) in the last days ( times of the light/ righteousness of the gospel of Jesus Christ going on in the world) before darkness (unrighteousess; the power and authority of Satan through his heads and people /followers) takes over completely in an overwhelming attempt to overthrow the government of God .The world ( described in Rev.13:8) will be worshipping an accusing god( by reason of transgression >Dan.8:12)> the sins of God's people > Mat.1:21, described in 1COR.1:26-28
Rev.2:20 seems to indicate that there will be plenty of Jezebel types teaching in the temple in the last days
I had a covert religious Narcissist in my life several years ago, and she'd actually take the time to call me and hurl false accusations at me and call me names. And yes, she "love-bombed" me at first. I had just been diagnosed with lymphoma, and she came to see me. As we sat on my couch, she looked around at all the nice things in my apt., then buried her face in her hands, appearing to weep-and I fell for it! What an idiot.
I gave her a hug and thought "She must be really tender-hearted," and gave her a hug. Then she asked if she could use my bathroom. I joked "Yeah, got a quarter?" But when she went in my bathroom, I never heard the toilet flush. NOW I realize she was faking "collecting" herself.
She wanted me to think she was drying her eyes-yet I never saw any tears! As time went by, she manipulated me into hiring her and her son as my Executors (though she made me pay off my one outstanding dental bill FIRST), for a fee of $3900!!!
THEN she manipulated me into paying $5 grand for her son's books to be published. And now that I have her son's ministry's Form 990's, I see his ministry was dying, and my "friend" wanted to profit from my death. It's the ultimate betrayal, for someone to exploit your illness and possible imminent death.
When I finally dumped her and cut her off from the autopay I had her son's ministry on, she said she couldn't believe there'd been so much misunderstanding, when she was just "concerned" for me. She took my last dime, and she knew it because she'd manipulated me into putting her and her son's names on my accounts, yet she was just "concerned" for me. Unbelievable!!!
Highlights:
Important to remember-
8:40 The narcissist wants you to be triggered (the narcissist gets supply from your being triggered
8:41 The narcissist wants to position you to look like “the crazy one”
9:09 As long as you are giving the narcissist “supply,” the narcissist will never leave you alone
SIX WAYS to deal with narcissist’s false allegations
1. (9:27) Respond, don’t react (be very calm & deliberate, not triggered or reactive)
2. (10:03) Make sure to document everything, in REAL TIME (too hard to re-create what happened if you wait to chronicle what happened or didn’t happen)
3. (12:15) Don’t get sucked into the mud (view situation as if you’re a third-party detached, objective observer)
4. (13:15) Become like Teflon when it comes to succumbing to guilt trips (be aware that a typical narcissist tactic is to use shame or guilt to manipulate you and when you are aware of this tactic, you can avoid being manipulated into feeling guilty or ashamed)
5. (15:21) Use one method of communication with the narcissist (use email only or, if you have children, you can use an app; if using the app, it’s best for it to be court-ordered so there can be consequences if the narcissist fails to communicate via the app)
6. (16:57) Try not to be alone with the narcissist (so the narcissist cannot fabricate claims against you; use school for transferring child(ren), as drop-off or pick-up to minimize in-person interactions, or have someone with you who can be a witness)
After 60 years of being bullied and beaten by my alcoholic sister, I found your channel. Now I know why she behaves the way she does, but none of her 5 children and their families don't know. She does to them what she used to do with me including her drunken rages. She last beat me when I was 65, knowing I have acute heart failure and COPD. Enough, I walked away. She spread filthy lies about me and because they've never seen one of your videos, they accept her lies as the truth. If I'm challenged about any of it, I won't defend myself at all, it's a waste of time as they think I am the liar. None of my family contact me now because of what she's told them. I call it 'Doing the rounds' as she can only 'feed off' one family member at a time, then she's done with them and starts on someone else. She still tries contacting me, the last excuse was she got shot, of course a lie. She's dead to me now, thanks to you telling me why she behaves the way she does. I'm grateful to you letting me know what is wrong with her.
My mother and sister does the same thing.
Same here, no contact is heaven. 😰😂
I've been falsely accused such an awful experience
I wish I knew about narcissist behavior when I was young. Your description of how my 1st husband acted is spot on. I was with him for 13 yrs. Unfortunately, the relationship started when I was 18. I "escaped" when I was 33. It took me years to get over the bullshit he did. Not only during the entire relationship, but the child custody battle was awful! Lasted 2 years with me keeping every single email we exchanged, keeping a diary of his behavior and our conversations. Later when my son was old enough to understand things, he questioned MY behavior due to what his father told him. His father had poisoned his mind about me not caring, etc. I simply took out those emails and he saw the real picture. So in short (too late) document everything. Every exchange you have, who was there etc. It's a pain sometimes but it really helped my relationship with my son. After he saw the reality, he saw his dad in a new light and it wasn't good.
Very smart to save the documentation, even for years. They hope their words will never come up again but if they have been saved .... you’ve got them.
Nikki Larsen,You deserve better
@@oscarwilliamson6163
THANK YOU.
My ex wife told her family and friends I was abusing her and mistreating her…
I divorced her cuz she was cheating and had a child by her AP. Cuz she needed a place to stay, she started lying to her family about me…
I send them screenshots of how she was begging me to take her back, how wonderful a guy I am etc 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Always keep receipts ladies and gentlemen
And I take it in the near future, GENUINE receipts, because narcs will not be above trying to fake texts to keep the lie going. I reckon phone companies helping to offer legit backtracking timestamps and receipts for a narc's even further lies will be in order.
I'm going to court right now. This one actually gave herself a black eye.
no way? I mean are we surprised?
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I'm in court too...he physically and sexually asaulted me
Narcissists are real people, remember stay good and even if you can't smile, be the bigger person ALWAYS, it works believe me.
Spot on!!!!
She always tried to make me feel like I was a horrible person and i bought it for awhile and constantly hated myself. I finally stop buying it and tried to get her to take accountability and that's when I saw a side of her that i had never seen. She basically kicked me out and tried getting other people to think i was a horrible person.
Spot On. This can be so silly they even try to use your reaction to another narcissist to trigger you. That happened to me.
Dap Dne,Hope you are not with a narcissist!
@@oscarwilliamson6163 thanks. I have changed my situation twice. A person has to.
@@dapdne4916 You deserve better.I will be glad to know you.I am Oscar Williamson from Swansboro,NC.You?
@@dapdne4916 Which country are you from?
Spot on…sums up my 6 years of marriage. In the process now of trying to ruin my life with false child abuse allegations. Biggest mistake I made was feeling the need to constantly defend myself and react. Wish I would have documented more thoroughly but thank God I did document a lot.
Well done, good luck mate with your fight...this people are terrible and ready to destroy everything around them
It's Time to Break Free for Good...Let's Do This! Sign up for our free webinar and start your transformative journey- ICANSLAY.COM 💪
YOU ARE SO SPOT ON AND EVERYONE SHOULD BE LEARNING FROM YOU!!
I was physically attacked and then my partner called the police on me for physical assault. Thankfully a third person was there and witnessed it and told the police . AND this person also stole $1100 out of my wallet and then claimed I had stole from them several months earlier but they never told anyone or called the police . However, I had the theft ON video so …
It's like this illness makes them all play from the same coaches playbook, its very fascinating
Isn’t it!?
If it wasn't so stressful it would be fascinating.
Spot On!!! I dated the poster child! You helped save my life by helping me not get involved again!!!!
Spot on!!! She’s used the court system against me. Before watching this video I documented everything and it helped so much! Judges do not like liars as you e mentioned. Also evidence is very powerful. I couldn’t afford a lawyer, so I represented myself. She went on smear campaign saying I couldn’t get along with her family when I never really interacted with them ever.
Spot on! Your videos have helped me deal with a narcissist family member. I am now on the level that I don’t get triggered anymore, I use only email with them (and they did try to guilt trip me twice for ending communication via phone), email also helps document things. I can now see them for who they are, they mimic a lot, and I feel just so much happier now that I don’t talk to them on the phone. And our email communication is sporadic. Thank you, Rebecca for making these informative videos, they really help people get their power/voices back.
Email is an excellent idea. I have a narcissistic sister-in-law who bullied me at the airport. We haven't spoken since. I have already decided not to meet or talk with her alone. If she wants to communicate it can be done by email.
Most definitely SPOT ON...& from what I've experienced, I explained all of this to narcissist & it was all lies, denial, rage, & attempts of justification for negative behavior. Thank u for informing everyone about this mental behavior.
I have had a judge who will not let me tell her what he has been doing to me and the kids for the last 5 years, but lets him go on long lying tyraids. She called me "terrible" today and said i was just like him after years of me accommodating, backing down, and trying to keep the peace. I just stood there like, how, how can she believe him? Can't she see, can't she hear blah blah, blah. Why won't she let me show her all these years of proof! The smearing. I do not know how to handle it. How can she not hear the contradiction? It is devastating. I don't have enough money for her to see the pattern, so this is helpful.
They are very good at false charisma to become the most popular person in the room.
This is whats happening to me . False accusations every week . You see multiple personalities. They ignore things they say . You cant stay with a person like this . I notice also that when they start changing into that good person and treat you the way you should be treated it usually only lasts a day than it all goes back to that other personality that makes accusations and is short with you . Its a pattern . It goes over and over just like that . In my case they admitted they were a narcissist than come back and say at least i can admit what i am . Than they lay another guilt trip on you . There is no peace when you are with someone like this . Its sad for me because they know how they treat you and they dont care and you love them . We will separate soon . Its not what i wanted . Its not what God wanted . You can only take care of you at this point. I wasnt educated enough to know what i walked into. I loved who i thought she was. Thank you for the advise .
Alot of the times what we want is not what's best for us. You can't allow yourself to let someone elses issues drag you down. Know God did not make you to fail. Know that you have the strength in you to overcome all obstacles if you just tap into the inner badass that is in all of us. Tap into your iron will and it will help you through now, this moment in eternity
Yep.False accusation almost daily...Multiple personalities. How can they change personality in a second. THey will never hear you. They can voice out, but we can't.
Never hearing you goes so many ways. It’s not just the explaining what you want or need, they don’t hear you about anything! I can tell him about an event, a movie coming up etc. and he does not remember hours later. I am a non person to him beyond domestic supply.
In a previous suit against my brother I almost busted out laughing. I cited he kept driving by three or four times an evening like a stalker. He said to the judge "With the price of gas right now, what sane person would do that?" I was thinking "Thank you. You just made my point for me!"
Oh my gosh. Spot on. I am in the middle of divorcing and I am dealing with mom who is a piece of work at times. Since I have woke up on finding out narcissist people, I could not believe how many were around me. My mom, one brother, my stbx, and my brother's girlfriend. Your videos are spot on with the behaviors that have been exhibited. I am in therapy now working to heal from the damage caused by these no good buzzards.
Hello from Alexandria, Virginia. Your descriptions and video examples of narcissistic behavior are "spot on". The practice in which I participated, in Southern California (Mecca for the most narcissistic personalities on earth), was, for me, an ordeal; There is no other term, of which I'm aware, that comes close to adequately describing my experiences. I adopted a six-word phrase that protected me from falling into a narcissist's trap. When people approached me and asked a personal question, I responded in kind with this: Why Do You Want to Know? That shut down the narcissist every time. I very much appreciated your TH-cam postings. Thank you.
I find most of my covert narcs accusations were actually projections of what they are doing. For example she accused me of hiding money, gambling, substance abuse, & having another partner on the side. All things she has been doing!
Spot on, this has been the most devastating experience and painful, but the best experience that has made me one strong woman.
Yep 👍🏼 but easier said than done! Its way deeper than just watching & listening to-advice they know you & how to make trigger & smears LIKE A PRO
She never said it was easy. But you're most likely stronger than you think.
Thanks!
37 years with a narcissist. Only a few years ago realized that he is a narcissist and what narcissism is! I am emotionally and physically drained. 3 times Cancer which I truly believe was stressed induced. We are religious and my husband always uses religion to back up his narcissistic behaviour. Happy to find your channel. I have a lot to learn!
I myself just realized my husband’s a narcissist.. I agree with your about your illnesses.. I’ve lost 30 lbs in the last month in a half.. I asked my husband if he noticed and he said no.. Lol.. from 160 to 130 .. seriously. I had started to concern me so I did get some blood work done waiting for the results. I’ll be praying for you. Sorry you’ve lived in this misery..
@@tinawheeler8517 Praying for you too! Thank you!
You're so right, they really do give you tons of material to use as leverage but if you can play the long game, as I have for 2 years, you'll end up with a stockpile of goodies for the lawyer. Going to court in September, and all the ammo and truth are on my side.
Document, document, document! You got this!
they told me I was paranoid when I said she would make up false allegations about me.
That's their ignorant way of making light of a dark situation.
The ones who should be despised and condemned get the blind eye treatment
SPOT ON! You are awesome thank you for confirming that what i am doing dealing with my sister is correct. No emotion when there are false allegations as she wants me to get upset so she can then behave shocked and ask why am i upset lol
So lucky now in UK law, no reasons are needed for divorce now and now no physical hearing needed. Only for the later financial order goes to trial if needed for the money and assets splittiing part.
They have conversations with themselves... mine would talk to himself all the time , mumble under his breath and he is creating a story that fits his narrative .
This is so excellent! Just had a terrible confrontation with a terrible unhappy family narcissist. She triggered me and I bit. But I have to admit she was relentless. Even though it was in public I learned a lot. Never ever again.
The devaluing phase lasted years while he was sleeping with his friend's wife and waited for me to complete a very rigorous RN program. The final year of our marriage was the discard, behind-the-scenes set-ups, smear campaigns, etc. So by the time he dumped me, he had already set up his plan with his friend's wife and his flying monkeys and others had already heard what a terrible wife and mother I was.
So many things in my life make sense now. Thanks for this.
Yeah, I get see how the kingdom of Satan was founded
Spot on! Thank you!
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I have been dealing for 37 years with my Narcissistic husband! Didn’t realize it until 5 years ago and Im still getting out of it!! I look at it from the third party now! No longer living with him and it blows my mind what I see! How was I so blind and how did he take my power away? I’m a smart person but he left me a mental mess!!!!! They are soooo good at what they do! Evil😡😡
Probably a power and control issue! Then other people believe their lies, so much damn hell.
This is how Satan comes into power and control through his people and their worshippers, to bring death and destruction
The worst thing is trying to prove your innocence.
This one has my me on it. My roommate loves to do this, And tell other people too! Oh my ex husband said awful lies even in the original divorce papers. I had a great lawyer my I got everything. I never react when my roommate starts making false allegations and acting like a lunatic. Thanks again Rebecca!❤️ Spot on!
You’d better move out or get rid of the roommate or they’ll hurt you badly.
Wonderful Rebecca,
The more of these videos I watch, the less significant and less effective narcissists' manipulation, destruction, seduction, domination and desperation seem.
These people are just so weak. It's sad to know that they, themselves, could actually be productive and healthily co-existent with the rest of us and have the potential to create, promote and foster a giving, inclusive landscape in their own, and others' lives.
But, very tragically, they won't.
Thanks for making US the winners, Rebecca!
Spot on. May I add to stick with your boundaries at all times and protect yourself. Don't care when people call you paranoid for setting strict safety boundaries. Remember that graveyards are full of people who have trusted narcissists and psychopaths.
By following my 4 Step plan, you can win when dealing with narcissism! Learn more >> ICANSLAY.COM 🌟
My husband claimed I locked him out of the house while he was in the garage…he called the cops on me, they showed up at the door, banged like crazies, scared me to death, then proceeded to tell me that if I did that again they would have to take me in…I was so scared, looked at my husband which was smiling behind the cops and felt sooo alone and worried about the future. He then told me that the first one that start calling the cops wins the battle 🤯
If you are so sick of the drama, trauma, and chaos- and want real powerful strategies for success - I’ve got the answer for you - sign up for our free webinar and start your transformative journey- this is the day your life changes!>> www.icanslay.com ✨
I am so grateful for you Rebecca. You are literally helping me save my life.
gretchen moran towers,You look cute,Hope you are not with a narcissist…..
Rebecca, you’re Spot On. However, it’s way more difficult and much more dynamic when one is dealing with their narcissistic parent. Very helpful though.
💯 thank you, exactly my thought.
The word evil is too good for them. Spot on.
Thank you for this video. I'm saving it!
This might help you better >>> slaythenarc.com ✨
Spot On Rebecca
Lord knows this is so hard when you have children
Scary how accurate you are in your assessment. Good info. Thank you.
Yes the Guilt trips !! - using the children , saying what an awful selfish mother I am !! And yes they change their facts frequently, I never thought my ex husband was stupid when we were together but I certainly do now, trips himself up time and time again - it’s like he’s delusional- very odd !
Thank you!!!
By following my 4 Step plan, you can win when dealing with narcissism! Learn more >> ICANSLAY.COM 🌟
Great tips. Thank you!
This might help you better >>> slaythenarc.com ✨
Lady, this is GOLD! Thank you 🙏🏾
Exactly, they act you react. My time line is accurate and you are 💯 percent accurate. Spot on.
This might help you better >>> slaythenarc.com ✨
Being an master @ life is knowing the trickery
Absolutely spot on.Thank you.
This might help you better >>> slaythenarc.com ✨
I'm hurt beyond all measure, then I find this...I've watched many videos but this is one of the best and doesn't want me to turn to God or something. This is real advice. I'm 62 and want to just have a nice life, quiet and happy, because so far I've had a lot to deal with. I want to give myself that gift. x
Spot on! This is so true with any type of narcissist. Good advice.🤔❤️🇺🇸
Hi Rebecca! I just finished listening to the whole video and I took notes! This was an absolutely incredible and so helpful video! Thank you so much! When you mentioned the smear campaign taking place before the discard, YUP!!! And becoming a Teflon coated impartial/indifferent observer made so much sense! I'm gonna have to listen to this again and again and again because it's so to the point! Thank you so very much! 🙏⚖️🙏
You got this!
Any advice for when the Narcissus tries to convince you and everyone around that you are the Narc in order to cover up being exposed during a divorce?
Spot on DAMNIT IVE KNOWN THE TRUTH AND HAVENT RESOLVED YET IN TOTALITY
So, my narc is saying that im an abuser. When the truth is that he tries to terrorize me,throws out ,breaks my things then rwcorda my reaction. How do i defend myself when the narc has "evidence"? Any other kinds of suggesstions??Btw,Ms Zung ,great work
Thank you so much. I have helped my partner for 3 years and when I was struggling financially because I helped them so much they made false allegations to tarnish my reputation. I was arrested by the police and face severe penalties. I can easily disprove the allegations but I am deeply hurt that the person I gave my all too, would betray me like this. But there were signs. Many signs. I just chose to ignore them because I naively believed they would get better.
Rebecca thank you for all of the work you do.
Just had the divorce and custody case heard in front of a the judge today. After 2 years of narc wife delaying, changing attorneys and as many false accusations as someone can count. Judge awarded my entire parenting plan even over riding the g.a.l. recommendations more in my favor. Narc couldn't hide her controlling and manipulations in court.
Unbelievable, my ex makes these false conversations. I thought it was only happening to me!
Thank you for making these vids! You are helping so many people.
Thank you for doing this!
If you are so sick of the drama, trauma, and chaos- and want real powerful strategies for success - I’ve got the answer for you - sign up for our free webinar and start your transformative journey- this is the day your life changes!>> www.icanslay.com ✨
I got away but his lies to the court and him breaking me the judge gave him custody. Help do you know any lawyers like you with your wisdom in Reno?
Had the same experience in IL... Sorry i dont know anyone in Reno... Sending you strength and fortitude and good luck