6 Ways to Deal with Narcissists’ False Accusations

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 22 พ.ค. 2022
  • 💪Are you ready to dominate narcissists and take your back in any conversation? Join me for a free live webinar! Click here to sign up 👉👉slay.rebeccazung.com/freetrai...
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    6 Ways to Deal with Narcissists’ False Accusations//
    Grab your free Crush My Negotiation Prep Worksheet here 👉 www.crushmydeal.com
    If you're dealing with a narcissist, you know that they can be incredibly manipulative. They often make false accusations in order to control and dominate you. In this video, Rebecca Zung, lawyer and narcissist negotiation expert, shares six ways to deal with narcissists' false accusations.
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    🎓Rebecca Zung is an attorney who has been recognized as one of the Top 1% of attorneys in the country having recognized as a Best Lawyer by U.S. News and is AV rated by Martindale Hubbell. She is also the bestselling author of 2 books, Negotiate Like You MATTER (foreword by Robert Shapiro) and Breaking Free: A Step by Step Divorce Guide.
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    The commentary and opinions are for informational purposes only and not for
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  • @RebeccaZungEsq
    @RebeccaZungEsq  2 ปีที่แล้ว +88

    📌Do you want to know more about dealing with the narcissist's false accusations? Join me in my free webinar at www.icanslay.com 💪💪

    • @RebeccaZungEsq
      @RebeccaZungEsq  2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      I'll be there for you! ❤

    • @johnjohnson1681
      @johnjohnson1681 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      See I want to believe you when you say that judges hate liars and lazy people who don’t follow court orders in my case nothing could be further from the truth literally I documented chronological order every single lie my narcissistic ex-wife made to obtain a DVPO and she was granted the DVPO. With literally zero evidence no police reports no medical records no photos of bruises or lacerations cuts whatever the hell you wanna call it not a single witness not even a friend or family member to testify saying yeah you know she’s been telling me about this abusive monster for years. I spent close to $15,000 to fight this bullshit DVPO just to lose. The judges don’t give a goddamn about anything except for making money for the machine and if you have a penis you lose 100% of the time. Pierce County Washington state

    • @wadelinn3059
      @wadelinn3059 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Hi. Babe. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

    • @thequeenofwitches7943
      @thequeenofwitches7943 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      I totally agree when you say that narcissists are very lazy.

    • @nobsnoargue4126
      @nobsnoargue4126 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Spot on.

  • @jilliankano
    @jilliankano 2 ปีที่แล้ว +767

    I’ve heard a saying: “Accusations are actually confessions.”

    • @RebeccaZungEsq
      @RebeccaZungEsq  2 ปีที่แล้ว +54

      Truth!

    • @GrahamDyckSinger
      @GrahamDyckSinger 2 ปีที่แล้ว +59

      It seems ppl usually accuse the things of which they would do or are doing …

    • @cosmea553
      @cosmea553 2 ปีที่แล้ว +37

      So true! They've got sooo very twisted minds! What they did they accuse you of and if they missed out on doing necessary stuff, they blame you of failure! I experienced this over and over again! 😈

    • @altonvdmerwe6711
      @altonvdmerwe6711 2 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      @@cosmea553 this made me think back, yeah its true

    • @thequeenofwitches7943
      @thequeenofwitches7943 2 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Totally agree.

  • @dennismclaurin1487
    @dennismclaurin1487 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +16

    Narcissists are naturals when it comes to spreading fear, slander, and deception.

  • @0my
    @0my ปีที่แล้ว +189

    1. Respond if needed, but do not react
    2. Document. Diligently and in real time
    3. Don't get sucked into the mud
    4. Become immune to guilt trips
    5. Use one form of communication
    6. Never be alone with them

    • @jackpot6829
      @jackpot6829 ปีที่แล้ว +37

      7. Never feed them after midnight

    • @MassMultiplayer
      @MassMultiplayer 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

      @@jackpot6829 its funny but its also sad and epic that its actualy insanely real

    • @jessecamp2752
      @jessecamp2752 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      These are great parameters. Thanks for sharing.

    • @johnmcgrath3466
      @johnmcgrath3466 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      Ugh your number 2 step to Document. I know you are right but the idea of doing that sucks. (2.) Document diligently in real time. yuck. Besides how do you do that in a casual setting and not be ridiculed anyway ?

    • @0my
      @0my 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      @@johnmcgrath3466 I was just summarizing the video. I'm no expert... However, this is what I would recommend. Never meet in person. If absolutely necessary to meet in person, bring legal witnesses. Use only methods of communication that are easy to document like email or specialized apps. And perhaps use a calendar (like Gmail calendar) to document events.

  • @akomeyam
    @akomeyam ปีที่แล้ว +60

    "Narcissists love to accuse you of things falsely" TRUE!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • @dennismclaurin1487
      @dennismclaurin1487 ปีที่แล้ว

      Rev.2:20 is probably how Satan will be loosed to establish his government, after an overwhelming attempt to overthrow the government of God through his heads and people/followers. Satan is called the accuser of the brethren ( Rev.12:10) in the last days ( times of the light of the gospel of Jesus Christ going on in the world) before darkness ( the power and authority of Satan) takes over completely in an overwhelming attempt to overthrow the government of God.
      There's plenty of narcissist Jezebel types teaching in the temple today.
      Those types can get the world to come together through their wrong judgments,beliefs--and treachery.
      Mat.24:- 5,11,24 is happening now!!!
      (+ 1TIM.4:1,2; 2Tim.4:3,4; 2Pet.2:1-3; Acts 20:29,30)

    • @motowngirl5891
      @motowngirl5891 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      They are making fun of you ,they want to see your reaction

    • @Happydays14385
      @Happydays14385 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I call this crap "confessions by projection"

  • @e.s.1920
    @e.s.1920 2 ปีที่แล้ว +549

    This should be taught in every highschool education to protect people from psychological abuse

    • @RebeccaZungEsq
      @RebeccaZungEsq  2 ปีที่แล้ว +45

      I agree with prepping younger ones on dealing with false accusations!

    • @hawaiigirl8089
      @hawaiigirl8089 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Children would not get this. HS are TEENS- not adults yet

    • @texaslovelylady
      @texaslovelylady 2 ปีที่แล้ว +22

      Healthy boundaries should be taught.

    • @LethalWeapon73
      @LethalWeapon73 2 ปีที่แล้ว +20

      Much sooner like Elementary

    • @wvwyut
      @wvwyut 2 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      You are the victim of the educational system. You honestly, truly believe, they want to teach you something valuable in high school?
      Travel the world. Try to learn how the FAMILIES function in culturally rich countries with thousands of years of history.
      I seen my ex-wife, who is a narcissist, to devalue A TOP PSYCHOLOGIST. The people with strong sense of cultural identity, could sense/understand her tactics from a mile away - while the psychologist was in a room with her, treated like an ignorant child.
      In a corporate run culture, people are turned into senseless consumers. The pharmaceutical companies will run out of business, if they create the right environment, for you to learn the basic rules about human nature. People in corporate run countries are conditioned to chase pleasur, sound politically correc, feed their ego with subjective nonsense. Put the phone down, turn off the TV, start reading books, if you wanna regain control of your yourself. Everything you need to function normally in this life, is already inside you.

  • @caralee2617
    @caralee2617 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +86

    The only connection I can think of is that both are based on the perpetrator’s undue emphasis of his/her own thoughts/emotions. In narcissistic abuse, perpetrators usually expresses the attitude that everything centers around them. They may object to that description and even insist that they don’t believe that; but, their actions say otherwise. Virtually everything you do/don’t do gets tied back to the perpetrator as a person. You’re either doing something right b/c you’re smart, capable, etc., or you’re intentionally doing it wrong in order to hurt/anger the perpetrator in some way. You are also likely to be accused of doing it wrong, even if you’re doing it right-again b/c of the perpetrator’s thoughts/emotions. Toxic positivity is generally not perpetrated with the intention to hurt anyone, and most wouldn’t even recognize it as being toxic/hurtful; but, in most cases, the perpetrator is still oblivious to the effect it has on others, and to the value of that effect. Narcissism is a psychological disorder and, with few exceptions, abuse is perpetrated with the tangible intention of causing harm. In contrast, toxic positivity is a behavioral flaw that is essentially an extreme version of selfishness, based in denial, and is generally perpetrated with the intention of maintaining and creating happiness. Most people are selfish, in some way or another. Toxic positivity is a subtle expression of selfishness-so subtle that even the perpetrator may not realize why it’s wrong b/c, after all, s/he is only seeking to encourage/uplift people. This is where denial comes in. Most people struggle/suffer, at some point or another. I believe that most people are also aware that there are people who experience more pain than they are aware of from their own lives. Denial allows people to look at someone who reminds them of themselves and assume that they cannot be justified in their suffering b/c the observer is not suffering. Denial also allows people who have suffered to deny the significance of other people’s suffering b/c it is notably different from their own, or b/c they perceive it as being notably different. From here, there are 2 extremes: One is for them to be semi-consciously abusive-meaning that they are generally aware that their actions are hurtful; but, they rationalize it as being justified. The other is to perpetrate toxic positivity-in which they are completely unaware that their actions are hurtful and it’s difficult for them to identify why they would be. Additionally, If you need to find out about a cheating spouse; send a request to: Metaspyhub@gmail. com

  • @briant40
    @briant40 ปีที่แล้ว +61

    I never realized how dangerous they are… they can destroy a man’s life by false accusations. This is so scary… I dated a narcissist and it was a nightmare. It makes dating or talking to women very difficult. Thank you for your help.

    • @dennismclaurin1487
      @dennismclaurin1487 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I believe I was falsely accused to the authorities by a narcissist Jezebel neighbor, back in '93. There's plenty of Jezebel types teaching in the temple, 'these days ' (+ Rev.2:20)
      A Jezebel represents Hell
      They're false accussers and lovers of themselves, as relates in 2 Tim.3:1-3
      I believe Satan's extreme blow to his pride given him in the Garden of Eden for wanting to be worshipped like God in his own right will be healed through Jezebel types. Satan is called the accuser of the brethren (Rev.12:10) in the last days (times of the light of the gospel of Jesus Christ going on in the world) before darkness (the power and authority of Satan through his heads and people/deceived followers) takes over completely in an overwhelming attempt to overthrow the government of God

    • @alexandragrace8164
      @alexandragrace8164 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      Or a woman’s! But yeah, I have seen many men be victims.

    • @strangemusic100
      @strangemusic100 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      Happened to me... was doing dishes she flew at me ripped my phone from my pocket all I did was keep a grip on my phone till it came free she called the cops an said I threw her down went to jail on Easter weekend wasn't allowed to go to my own home probation yada yada yada... CRAZY

    • @marcialussier2467
      @marcialussier2467 4 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      Just remember, there truly are good people out there. Think about all these nice people that are making these comments. They have been hurt and I find it very difficult to attach to any man anymore. But we have to remember, everybody's not a narcissist!

  • @davidhedrick7226
    @davidhedrick7226 ปีที่แล้ว +206

    I really think they actually start believing their own lies!! A true sickness!

    • @dennismclaurin1487
      @dennismclaurin1487 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      The worst part is when this kind of person gets the world to believe the lie.
      Imagine those types passing lie detector tests, for believing their own lies.Dear God.

    • @christielawrence4640
      @christielawrence4640 ปีที่แล้ว

      Yes, I know one who will try to justify lying, or outright LIE. about LYING!
      If the justification is obviously, embarrassingly lame, or if it has zero logic, Ive pointed it out (actually while laughing at him is that not nice?), he has literally mumbled something stupid as he leaves the room. If he's got nothing, he runs.

    • @Pocketraisins
      @Pocketraisins ปีที่แล้ว +2

      They do believe their own lies! They leave out their evildoings and parts that make them look bad to make themselves look like a hero, saviour or victim. Then they regale their story to anyone that will listen and in their mind they think "Hey. I have these other people telling my story of how great I am so it must be true!"
      My brother (again) split with his wife and went their separate ways. The reason was he was caught cheating a multitude of times. She said if he didn't stop cheating, she would find someone else to emotionally support her just like he had been doing for sex. With my sister in law it was lack of emotional support toward her and their two kids.
      He begged her to come back after a few months under the stipulation that SHE would have to give up her boyfriend, but made no mention of him not cheating, and of course she said no. Now when he tells why they broke up, he says "Its because she wouldn't give up her boyfriend even though I said I would take her back if she did." No mention of his multiple affairs or violent behavior toward she and the kids. Why? Because in his eyes he genuinely believes he was the victim.

    • @nyhtlyht
      @nyhtlyht ปีที่แล้ว +3

      They do. Then they use charisma and convince others of it. That's where things get dangerous

    • @anamartafaial1916
      @anamartafaial1916 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Yah…. They are patologic liers

  • @iamgoddessoflove
    @iamgoddessoflove 2 ปีที่แล้ว +185

    Be aware of a narcissist that tries to apologize to you only to take them back/forgive them, but then turn around and blame you for it. It's never genuine with them! 💙TH-camr That Helps People Overcome Toxic Relationships

    • @angelaharris1112
      @angelaharris1112 2 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      Never had an apology!

    • @LethalWeapon73
      @LethalWeapon73 2 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      Never had one but he got worse each time I took him back.

    • @ChrisPyle
      @ChrisPyle ปีที่แล้ว +2

      You mean like apologizing for cheating but then saying she would try therapy if you only you hadn’t told anyone? Being embarrassed is worse than cheating lol

    • @archiehendricks6093
      @archiehendricks6093 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Oh brother where art thou, one part in theater presoner says do not go there.
      Bibel says a dog will return to his vomit.
      Lets not be the narrsist dog.

    • @archiehendricks6093
      @archiehendricks6093 ปีที่แล้ว

      Spot on

  • @treeseneese8655
    @treeseneese8655 2 ปีที่แล้ว +229

    So true! The hardest part is to wrap our heads around their craziness. A mentally healthy person does not do this!

    • @localizer50
      @localizer50 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      So true!!

    • @pocahontas4583
      @pocahontas4583 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      It is mind blowing how they’ll just keep hammering and hammering at you with false accusations as if they’re going to convince you that you did something you didn’t.

    • @treeseneese8655
      @treeseneese8655 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@pocahontas4583 So true!

    • @catherinevaz6139
      @catherinevaz6139 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      They will physically abuse you and deny it the next day!
      He pushed me into a wall so hard I bumped my forehead and I blacked out for a few seconds.
      The next day, I confront him, asking him why he did this. His answer? « I did nothing, you’re so clumsy, you just slipped. » I was shocked!!
      Another day, we were arguing and he jumped me! Same thing, he said: « I had to defend myself, YOU hit me! » WHAT?? I - 😮
      Incredible how he twisted everything that happened! It’s a horrible / scary experience.

    • @dennismclaurin1487
      @dennismclaurin1487 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@pocahontas4583 I believe I was secretly accused to the authorities by a narcissistJezebel neighbor back in '93, of things I know not. She REALLY has me all charged up 'these ', after Mother recently passed away. She's behind that. Rev.18 speaks of her. She's got serious blood on her damn hands. Rev.2:20 and Rev.17 also relates to her. She wants my head on a platter. She won't rest until that happens, as relates in Rev.14:11. Satan is called the accuser of the brethren ( Rev.12:10) in the last days ( times of the light of the gospel of Jesus Christ going on in the world) before darkness ( the power and authority of Satan through his heads and people /misled followers) takes over completely in an overwhelming attempt to overthrow the government of God
      (' these days ')

  • @leeboriack8054
    @leeboriack8054 ปีที่แล้ว +23

    After two narcissistic partners I’ve invested in learning how to be happy and complete as a single person.

  • @pollysanders6395
    @pollysanders6395 ปีที่แล้ว +155

    They accuse of things THEY’RE doing. Don’t defend yourself. It’s useless. Walk away. It will never change. They can’t hear you. And the abuse will NEVER end. Of course, this only applies to those who are free to walk away. If you’re in a relationship, get out.

    • @angieh190
      @angieh190 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Yes agreed to the walking away bc if you waste your time trying to defend it'll fall on deaf ears OR IF YOU DONT then to the narc it will be an admission that he was right then he'll punish you bc that's all they do!

    • @steveholloway8576
      @steveholloway8576 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      I'm thinking caulk your losses up and go . I'm 60 with 30 yrs in and she wins ,, I can't spend the rest of my life walking in eggshells

    • @richard5981
      @richard5981 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      What if the person that’s acting that way is a neighbor who tries to get under your skin and when you confront them by making a complaint with the police, they
      Falsely accuse you of things you haven’t done how do you deal with something like that?

    • @andrearowe8103
      @andrearowe8103 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Right now I am so deeply hurt this gentleman showed me he was trying to do something online and his credit card was not going through and out of no where my phone number came up with my name. And eventhough I am telling him I don't understand how my name come up he is saying I was trying to use his credit. I cried and still is. How do I prove am not guilty

    • @sostrucking
      @sostrucking 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

      ​@andrearowe8103 find one of his friends to explain it to him because he is not listening to the one he things is guilty

  • @peetsz3732
    @peetsz3732 2 ปีที่แล้ว +92

    This isn't limited to partnerships. Narsistic siblings, parents, false friends, co-workers, etc can create the same horror.

    • @missymintz3189
      @missymintz3189 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      16:40 My Narcissist sadly is my daughter. She has said the most ridiculous things about her “bad childhood” when in reality, she had an amazing childhood. Anyone that really knew her as a child knows that these statements are all untrue. She’s now 36 and cycles through being hateful towards me, or “tolerating” me. Always in toleration mode when she needs something big; a loan or something big such as that.
      I’ve learned my lesson and have walked away.
      I’ll always love her, but I wouldn’t let a friend treat me and talk so rudely .. so I’m not letting her either.

    • @CheeseGraterToiletPaper
      @CheeseGraterToiletPaper ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Complete strangers can also do this

    • @ArghMatey
      @ArghMatey ปีที่แล้ว +3

      YUP! hate working with the mean girl types and have had to quit jobs over it :(

    • @Beth-iv4lj
      @Beth-iv4lj 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      I think whole systems can suffer with it.

    • @ArghMatey
      @ArghMatey 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      @@Beth-iv4lj definitely! I look at our culture here

  • @dadiva2475
    @dadiva2475 2 ปีที่แล้ว +134

    My ex was a covert Narcissist. He would always accuse me of doing things or saying things that NEVER came out of my mouth. At first, very early into our relationship, I thought he was just "mistaken" and meant no harm. Then...it started to become a pattern. That's when I realized he would fabricate things in order to win disagreements and make me squirm. It's like he got this internal thrill by triggering me, for no apparent reason. Every few weeks, he would start a petty argument. I thought I was going crazy...and yes, I wanted to record conversations. Weirdest encounter I ever had.

    • @ashcash8539
      @ashcash8539 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      this is me to a t. theses narcs are crazy.

    • @cyndim8785
      @cyndim8785 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      That’s the roller coaster ride that never ends.

    • @christinenewhouse6920
      @christinenewhouse6920 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Da Diva I'm in one now..I dont know how to get out of it..PLEASE HELP.Should I see a therapist?

    • @rit20095
      @rit20095 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Same here

    • @Godiswith_HER
      @Godiswith_HER ปีที่แล้ว

      @@christinenewhouse6920leave him asap!

  • @nchevrea
    @nchevrea ปีที่แล้ว +17

    Thank you. The narcissist who makes false accusations can also be a neighbor or coworker. It is not just limited to a person you had a previous intimate relationship with.

    • @dennismclaurin1487
      @dennismclaurin1487 ปีที่แล้ว

      I believe I was falsely accused to the authorities in '93 by a narcissist Jezebel neighbor. There's plenty of Jezebel types teaching in the temple, 'these days ' (+ Rev.2:20) They're false accussers and lovers of themselves, as relates in 2 Tim.3:1-3 .
      I won't be surprised if Satan comes into full authority as God by such types. Satan is called the accuser of the brethren ( Rev.12:10) in the last days ( times of the light of the gospel of Jesus Christ going on in the world) before darkness ( the power and authority of Satan through his heads and people/deceived followers) takes over completely in an overwhelming attempt to overthrow the government of God
      Mat.24-5,11,24; 1Tim.4 1,2;2Tim.4:3,4; 2Pet.2:1-3; Acts 20:29,30 are all happening now!!!
      Unlike Jesus, I'm dumb ( Mat.27:12)
      God knows my case. This is Jacob's trouble ( Jer.30:-7-), described in Mat.24:21 ; Dan.12:1

  • @localizer50
    @localizer50 ปีที่แล้ว +27

    I dealt with this for five years!! These people are sick. I thought I was helping someone who was mentally ill. Little did I know.

    • @dennismclaurin1487
      @dennismclaurin1487 ปีที่แล้ว

      No. You thought right.

    • @marcialussier2467
      @marcialussier2467 4 วันที่ผ่านมา

      ​@@dennismclaurin1487this is not a mental illness, it cannot be treated with therapy or medicine. This is a sociopathic disorder very deep within the person's psyche, and cannot be helped with any kind of treatment.

  • @kvj859
    @kvj859 2 ปีที่แล้ว +221

    This is my life 30 years ago. No one realized this back then. The court system was not a justice system. It was a horrible time in my life. I am 70 now and I am at peace but it has been a hard journey. .Thank you for helping people, Rebecca.

    • @julietcrowson3503
      @julietcrowson3503 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Narcs are the prosecutors at regulators in the UK....
      God's love for us is much bigger than the narcs' horribleness.
      ✝️🫂☯️☮️🙏🙂

    • @kvj859
      @kvj859 2 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      @@julietcrowson3503 Yes, thankful to God everyday. When you "know " you have no value, it is hard to walk through everything that is put before you. Part of my problem was my mother taught me the same thing...it took me 60+ years to walk away from her as well. She died 17 months ago and it has brought such peace to my heart. Few people understand but I have learned not to try and get them to understand. You have to live it.

    • @julietcrowson3503
      @julietcrowson3503 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@kvj859 we probably should pray every day 🙏☯️🫂✝️

    • @truthtarot7074
      @truthtarot7074 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      O gosh 🙏

    • @texaslovelylady
      @texaslovelylady 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      @@kvj859 my mom is your age and I know the toll of this abuse on the mind, body, and soul. How anyone can not see what they have done, or they do and don't care.
      I had the strength to leave.

  • @christinawinter9252
    @christinawinter9252 2 ปีที่แล้ว +113

    "Don't be surprised when they act like themselves, be surprised when they act normal."
    That comment was mind blowing and takes staying calm during trial to a whole new level. Thank you, Rebecca. I will keep this in mind.

    • @eastside907ak9
      @eastside907ak9 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      It scares me when there nice

    • @Jmg354
      @Jmg354 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      There's no hope, them acting like a normal human being,
      When the evil is simmering
      Inside them, at all times,
      They are miserable people
      Want to dragg down every one
      They know, especially there close empaths, or empath,
      Carry around a voice recorder at all times

    • @thebewitchinghour831
      @thebewitchinghour831 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      When mine is calm for too long, I just know that the meltdown is coming soon. He made it for 8 days before his meltdown this last time. I was impressed.

  • @davidmalpass7129
    @davidmalpass7129 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Narcissists are real people, remember stay good and even if you can't smile, be the bigger person ALWAYS, it works believe me.

  • @joshspears3951
    @joshspears3951 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    I've been falsely accused such an awful experience

  • @CLHS1944
    @CLHS1944 2 ปีที่แล้ว +63

    Oh boy you nailed it! The ex a covert narcissist FALSELY accuses me of the things he is doing! Smh! Does it daily despite I left HIM 2.5 yrs ago. Tyvm for your knowledge💜

    • @RebeccaZungEsq
      @RebeccaZungEsq  2 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      You got this!

    • @scott495
      @scott495 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I left her 3 years ago and it took watching this and hearing from other people who relate because they literally went through the same things everything she did she accused me of doing to her

  • @jloggy7643
    @jloggy7643 2 ปีที่แล้ว +96

    "Spot on!" I am 24 days away to 6-15-22, divorce day. This past week the last piece of the puzzel and a huge piece of leverage was discovered. My ex had been working for months but had told the judge that she was disabled and her doctors had not cleared her to go back to work. She has no idea that i now know not only where she works but also how much she makes, when she started, and where she has her direct deposits going. I had been paying her alimony despite me having custody of our 10 year old daughter and she has not been having to pay child support.
    Also uncovered this week is that she has been on multiple dating sites since 2014 meeting with both men and women and she had the nerve to been accusing me of cheating for all those years smh.
    She has yet to provide one piece of documentation for this divorce. We had a motion to compel filed and are waiting for her to be sanctioned. She was also found guilty by trial of violating the protection order i had againist her.
    I have documented like crazy from day one in all forms, journeling, audio recording and video recording. She has lost every little battle so far by me doing my due diligence and the biggest battle is 24 days away. Two days ago she sent me a message saying how she wants us back together and how the family needs us together blah, blah, blah. I did not even respond to it.
    The beauty of my leverage is that it is rebuttal evidence that is not privy to having get disclosed in discovery. We just continue to not just feed her rope but also her flying monkees. Yes i have all the texts and conversations audio recoded i have had with them so they will be exposed right along with her should they choose to take the stand.
    My lawyer and i are pushing for the judge to order that we communicate through "our family wizard" post divorce. I have child protective services, my daughters school councelor and teacher, three police officers, multiple family friends and former employees going to court to testify on my behalf.
    I am so ready to SLAY this malignent narc that had physically, emotionally and sexually abused me over the 23 years i was with her. June 15th is my day to be vindicated and gain justice but most importantly freedom from the insanity. I am breaking the chain of domestic abuse and showing my kids that it is only to late to leave if you are dead. Rebecca your channel has guided me through the legal part of this so thank you. Dr les carter's channel has given me the emotional support group that complements my going to counceling so my thanks also goes to there.
    If i can make it through this then anyone can do this. Know you are not alone and support is available. Most importantly be true to yourself and dont sacrifice your own morals trying to beat the narc. So strong and stay safe and please take care if your mental health.

    • @RebeccaZungEsq
      @RebeccaZungEsq  2 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      Thank you for sharing. Stay strong! 💪🙌❤

    • @ReRe_642
      @ReRe_642 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Thank you Good luck handle your business.

    • @julianndavis9415
      @julianndavis9415 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Keep us posted on divorce day
      What a joy to be legally free

    • @SavedByGrace806
      @SavedByGrace806 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      I am sorry you’re going through this! You’ve already won the battle by staying strong. You got this!

    • @jloggy7643
      @jloggy7643 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@angelabluebird609 thank you

  • @kacichristian
    @kacichristian ปีที่แล้ว +67

    Highlights:
    Important to remember-
    8:40 The narcissist wants you to be triggered (the narcissist gets supply from your being triggered
    8:41 The narcissist wants to position you to look like “the crazy one”
    9:09 As long as you are giving the narcissist “supply,” the narcissist will never leave you alone
    SIX WAYS to deal with narcissist’s false allegations
    1. (9:27) Respond, don’t react (be very calm & deliberate, not triggered or reactive)
    2. (10:03) Make sure to document everything, in REAL TIME (too hard to re-create what happened if you wait to chronicle what happened or didn’t happen)
    3. (12:15) Don’t get sucked into the mud (view situation as if you’re a third-party detached, objective observer)
    4. (13:15) Become like Teflon when it comes to succumbing to guilt trips (be aware that a typical narcissist tactic is to use shame or guilt to manipulate you and when you are aware of this tactic, you can avoid being manipulated into feeling guilty or ashamed)
    5. (15:21) Use one method of communication with the narcissist (use email only or, if you have children, you can use an app; if using the app, it’s best for it to be court-ordered so there can be consequences if the narcissist fails to communicate via the app)
    6. (16:57) Try not to be alone with the narcissist (so the narcissist cannot fabricate claims against you; use school for transferring child(ren), as drop-off or pick-up to minimize in-person interactions, or have someone with you who can be a witness)

  • @carolcoates3750
    @carolcoates3750 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    After 60 years of being bullied and beaten by my alcoholic sister, I found your channel. Now I know why she behaves the way she does, but none of her 5 children and their families don't know. She does to them what she used to do with me including her drunken rages. She last beat me when I was 65, knowing I have acute heart failure and COPD. Enough, I walked away. She spread filthy lies about me and because they've never seen one of your videos, they accept her lies as the truth. If I'm challenged about any of it, I won't defend myself at all, it's a waste of time as they think I am the liar. None of my family contact me now because of what she's told them. I call it 'Doing the rounds' as she can only 'feed off' one family member at a time, then she's done with them and starts on someone else. She still tries contacting me, the last excuse was she got shot, of course a lie. She's dead to me now, thanks to you telling me why she behaves the way she does. I'm grateful to you letting me know what is wrong with her.

  • @etaokha4164
    @etaokha4164 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    My mother accused falsely I just blocked her and went no contact and banned her from coming near me or my home or my kids. Blood doesn't make family. My ex also took me to court and all the lies he said about me the judge saw through him and his lies because we had not spoken or seen each other for 3 years. He lost the case and lost his money too. The judge rolled in my favour and I couldn't be more happier ☺️.

  • @mrmusiclover87
    @mrmusiclover87 2 ปีที่แล้ว +32

    Spot on, as always! The more I learn about narcissism, the more I feel bad for those who suffer from it, especially in excess. But, that shred of sympathy only goes so far, considering they're still usually mean, angry, manipulative, bullies. Just the same, I often just tell myself "They're simply unhappy creatures who are jealous of the happiness of light bringers".

    • @catherinevaz6139
      @catherinevaz6139 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Exactly. They suck the light and life out of good people. They are psychological vampires.

    • @asligar3887
      @asligar3887 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      I agree with you completely. I understand where it comes from and the how's and why's of what happened to me but I don't think it's justifiable to treat anyone abusively because you are hurting. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and take care 🙂🌬💕

  • @themysticalexperiencer8141
    @themysticalexperiencer8141 ปีที่แล้ว +18

    I had a covert religious Narcissist in my life several years ago, and she'd actually take the time to call me and hurl false accusations at me and call me names. And yes, she "love-bombed" me at first. I had just been diagnosed with lymphoma, and she came to see me. As we sat on my couch, she looked around at all the nice things in my apt., then buried her face in her hands, appearing to weep-and I fell for it! What an idiot.
    I gave her a hug and thought "She must be really tender-hearted," and gave her a hug. Then she asked if she could use my bathroom. I joked "Yeah, got a quarter?" But when she went in my bathroom, I never heard the toilet flush. NOW I realize she was faking "collecting" herself.
    She wanted me to think she was drying her eyes-yet I never saw any tears! As time went by, she manipulated me into hiring her and her son as my Executors (though she made me pay off my one outstanding dental bill FIRST), for a fee of $3900!!!
    THEN she manipulated me into paying $5 grand for her son's books to be published. And now that I have her son's ministry's Form 990's, I see his ministry was dying, and my "friend" wanted to profit from my death. It's the ultimate betrayal, for someone to exploit your illness and possible imminent death.
    When I finally dumped her and cut her off from the autopay I had her son's ministry on, she said she couldn't believe there'd been so much misunderstanding, when she was just "concerned" for me. She took my last dime, and she knew it because she'd manipulated me into putting her and her son's names on my accounts, yet she was just "concerned" for me. Unbelievable!!!

  • @fortythiefs
    @fortythiefs ปีที่แล้ว +11

    Everything is spot on Rebecca. I grew up with a psychopath for a mother. She tried to kill me more than a few times. She turned my brothers against me. Why did I become her target? She wanted a girl. She did some of the most horrible things to me you could imagine. I am in therapy. I have memory gaps but writing a book has helped me put the pieces together. INCREDIBLE! Pure evil!

    • @TruthBeTold0914
      @TruthBeTold0914 ปีที่แล้ว

      Thank you for your post. It helps others- myself- to not feel so alone. I'm so sorry you grew up with this. My only differences are that mine hasn't tried to kill me, she just physically and mentally abused me. And I am a female, the only one. So I think there was something to that (I'm the scapegoat) She loves the males in my family more and treats them way different. She turned my family against me too and I've been recently black listed from them. I hope you get to share your writing, I'll be interested to see it.

    • @fortythiefs
      @fortythiefs ปีที่แล้ว

      @@TruthBeTold0914 thank you so much. It is an amazing read. A real page turner. All kinds of abuse. 08/24/2022 filed a criminal complaint against someone she got to try and kill me in 2018. I found the video through Google. I thought I lost it. Google sent me an email the day before with the video. Your memories from 2018. Thank God for Google

  • @keithnetzel4210
    @keithnetzel4210 2 ปีที่แล้ว +52

    I just went through a nasty divorce with a covert narcissist. It took me a while to learn the person I was dealing with. I’m thankful to come out on the other side mostly unscathed. You MUST request a court ordered app to communicate, I did and I wish I had done it sooner. My story has a happy ending though. Although I went though a year of literal hell with someone making false allegations, trying to financially ruin me and me having to spend 20k in attorney fees to uncover the truth it was absolutely necessary!!! I also had to use my leverage very strategically. Now I’m actually better off even financially after this I am happy to say. It was a huge chess game during the entire divorce that lasted more than a year. Never trust someone who you suspect is a narcissist especially during a divorce. I lost a few pawns and even a bishop or a rook, but in the end I got checkmate. Rebecca is “spot on”with this advice. I wish I discovered this advice in the first month of my divorce. Its essential and can help you survive and even thrive in the long run. Someday soon I will have to share my full story. I could write a book on it. Do NOT underestimate how low a narcissist will go in a divorce!

    • @amandahagee4692
      @amandahagee4692 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      I’m in the middle of a nasty divorce and custody battle with the covert narcissist I’ve been with total for almost 10 years. Absolutely hell for my son (5 y/o autistic boy) and 14 year old daughter. Please tell me we will get on the other side of this! I’ve been using a lot of Rebecca’s wonderful strategies and even though I’ve lots a couple bishops and rooks, he is unraveling now. He is surprisingly proving to the court through his desperate behavior why it would be impossible to co-parent with! Man, I hope this turns out the way it should be!

    • @marionthompson3365
      @marionthompson3365 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Well done Keith and sending my best wishes x

    • @marcusavila2961
      @marcusavila2961 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      No defamation court?

    • @therealtyronehill
      @therealtyronehill ปีที่แล้ว

      I'm going thru the same thing right now.
      Dealing with charges bc they believe the Narcissist.

  • @isaacsanchez4736
    @isaacsanchez4736 2 ปีที่แล้ว +70

    Man this hit hard . After 22 years of marriage I found actual evidence to prove her infidelity . The next day she told the police I raped her and my life was shattered. I lost my kids , my family, my house and job making $10k a month . She Told everyone I never paid bills and I was mean . I volunteered to coach all my kids after school activities . And after she couldn’t pay the bills but I mentioned she said I never paid anything that why can’t she pay like she claimed I didn’t do . I’m still dealing with the Courts over this . After I helped her get a new car for my daughter to have transportation. She told the courts I went to her house and started arguing with her . She did try to start the argument but I left . But again I’m the one in trouble. Stay away from these people.. I even stopped contact with my children and that hurts this most but it’s for my own good .

    • @jodiejo1609
      @jodiejo1609 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Oh honey wow!!! Praying for you! God has this. I’ve been through similar and I promise you that it WILL work out! This is not the rest of your life. It will end. Your children back in your life soon. Love again. So much pain I know. Praying nightly for you. ❤️🙏

    • @Mellyouttaphase
      @Mellyouttaphase ปีที่แล้ว +4

      I am so sorry to hear this. My partner is a victim of false allegations as well. You have to keep going, push through hell and get out the other side. It’s the last thing she expects!
      Also. We need to speak about this SO MUCH MORE! We have a system that is set up to protect people but was left wide open for exploitation by shameless manipulators. We need to fight the system and change it so we stop aiding and abetting these LIARS! (Yeah, I’m angry)

    • @stardustsparkles22
      @stardustsparkles22 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@jodiejo1609 Hi Jodie,My name is Meri-lee. I really need your prayers. I'm dealing with major coercive control, stalking,false accusations, and attempts on my life. I've been drugged against my will,accused, threatened,I can't take anymore, and I have no money! And he puts gps trackers in my stuff. Other people are actually helping him and lots of people believe I'm a slut and I'm not even sleeping with anyone! Celibate going in four years in January. Help please. If you can please pray neither one of my enemies win against me and that ppl can help me and know I'm not a bad person that would be great. Much love to you. Thank you for your time.💛💯

    • @howyduinyall7653
      @howyduinyall7653 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      You’re definitely not on your own my friend, it’s true what the Bible says “the devil rules the earth”, not for much longer thankfully. 1 John chapter 5 verse 19 and Psalm 37 verses 10,11 amongst others.

    • @dennismclaurin1487
      @dennismclaurin1487 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      This is where Satan's deadly wound ( extreme blow to his pride given him in the Garden of Eden for wanting to be worshipped like God in his own right) will be healed (+ Rev 13:3). Satan is called the accuser of the brethren ( Rev.12:10) in the last days ( times of the light/ righteousness of the gospel of Jesus Christ going on in the world) before darkness (unrighteousess; the power and authority of Satan through his heads and people /followers) takes over completely in an overwhelming attempt to overthrow the government of God .The world ( described in Rev.13:8) will be worshipping an accusing god( by reason of transgression >Dan.8:12)> the sins of God's people > Mat.1:21, described in 1COR.1:26-28
      Rev.2:20 seems to indicate that there will be plenty of Jezebel types teaching in the temple in the last days

  • @911theanonymous
    @911theanonymous ปีที่แล้ว +7

    After dealing with a narcissist and trying to make sense of it….as soon as you recognize what’s going on….just leave. Forget the strategy, just leave and have them served with a restraining order.

    • @mollybaker3718
      @mollybaker3718 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      That’s what I’m currently doing. I wish I’d done it a long time ago.

  • @grantwillings8091
    @grantwillings8091 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    Spot on…sums up my 6 years of marriage. In the process now of trying to ruin my life with false child abuse allegations. Biggest mistake I made was feeling the need to constantly defend myself and react. Wish I would have documented more thoroughly but thank God I did document a lot.

    • @DnBDuBstep7777777
      @DnBDuBstep7777777 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Well done, good luck mate with your fight...this people are terrible and ready to destroy everything around them

  • @nikki4701
    @nikki4701 2 ปีที่แล้ว +33

    I wish I knew about narcissist behavior when I was young. Your description of how my 1st husband acted is spot on. I was with him for 13 yrs. Unfortunately, the relationship started when I was 18. I "escaped" when I was 33. It took me years to get over the bullshit he did. Not only during the entire relationship, but the child custody battle was awful! Lasted 2 years with me keeping every single email we exchanged, keeping a diary of his behavior and our conversations. Later when my son was old enough to understand things, he questioned MY behavior due to what his father told him. His father had poisoned his mind about me not caring, etc. I simply took out those emails and he saw the real picture. So in short (too late) document everything. Every exchange you have, who was there etc. It's a pain sometimes but it really helped my relationship with my son. After he saw the reality, he saw his dad in a new light and it wasn't good.

    • @TheQueensWish
      @TheQueensWish 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Very smart to save the documentation, even for years. They hope their words will never come up again but if they have been saved .... you’ve got them.

    • @oscarwilliamson6163
      @oscarwilliamson6163 ปีที่แล้ว

      Nikki Larsen,You deserve better

    • @tiersanapeterson1043
      @tiersanapeterson1043 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@oscarwilliamson6163

  • @j.k5654
    @j.k5654 2 ปีที่แล้ว +25

    THANK YOU.
    My ex wife told her family and friends I was abusing her and mistreating her…
    I divorced her cuz she was cheating and had a child by her AP. Cuz she needed a place to stay, she started lying to her family about me…
    I send them screenshots of how she was begging me to take her back, how wonderful a guy I am etc 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
    Always keep receipts ladies and gentlemen

    • @ARedMagicMarker
      @ARedMagicMarker ปีที่แล้ว +2

      And I take it in the near future, GENUINE receipts, because narcs will not be above trying to fake texts to keep the lie going. I reckon phone companies helping to offer legit backtracking timestamps and receipts for a narc's even further lies will be in order.

  • @shaunbarrios1979
    @shaunbarrios1979 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Spot on!!!!
    She always tried to make me feel like I was a horrible person and i bought it for awhile and constantly hated myself. I finally stop buying it and tried to get her to take accountability and that's when I saw a side of her that i had never seen. She basically kicked me out and tried getting other people to think i was a horrible person.

  • @lhh45123
    @lhh45123 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Absolutely. Horrific lying and accusations. And this abuse is not recognized, and no one wants to help.

    • @dennismclaurin1487
      @dennismclaurin1487 ปีที่แล้ว

      Satan must be having a BIG, ugly laugh over all of the treacherous accusations, placing his kind in authority and power worldwide.
      GOD help HIS chosen people

    • @Rabswood296
      @Rabswood296 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Get away go no contact. Move towns if you get the chance

  • @dapdne4916
    @dapdne4916 2 ปีที่แล้ว +23

    Spot On. This can be so silly they even try to use your reaction to another narcissist to trigger you. That happened to me.

    • @oscarwilliamson6163
      @oscarwilliamson6163 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Dap Dne,Hope you are not with a narcissist!

    • @dapdne4916
      @dapdne4916 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@oscarwilliamson6163 thanks. I have changed my situation twice. A person has to.

    • @oscarwilliamson6163
      @oscarwilliamson6163 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@dapdne4916 You deserve better.I will be glad to know you.I am Oscar Williamson from Swansboro,NC.You?

    • @oscarwilliamson6163
      @oscarwilliamson6163 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@dapdne4916 Which country are you from?

  • @jimherra
    @jimherra 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    I'm going to court right now. This one actually gave herself a black eye.

    • @fron645
      @fron645 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      no way? I mean are we surprised?

    • @RebeccaZungEsq
      @RebeccaZungEsq  18 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Turn your toughest crises into your greatest victories. Join our webinar and learn how to transform pain into power in the realm of high-conflict divorces. 💪🔥 #FromPainToPower
      Learn more highconflictcert.com/ 🚀

  • @WhereAnt
    @WhereAnt ปีที่แล้ว +9

    It's like this illness makes them all play from the same coaches playbook, its very fascinating

  • @kingdomsgate
    @kingdomsgate ปีที่แล้ว +14

    This is whats happening to me . False accusations every week . You see multiple personalities. They ignore things they say . You cant stay with a person like this . I notice also that when they start changing into that good person and treat you the way you should be treated it usually only lasts a day than it all goes back to that other personality that makes accusations and is short with you . Its a pattern . It goes over and over just like that . In my case they admitted they were a narcissist than come back and say at least i can admit what i am . Than they lay another guilt trip on you . There is no peace when you are with someone like this . Its sad for me because they know how they treat you and they dont care and you love them . We will separate soon . Its not what i wanted . Its not what God wanted . You can only take care of you at this point. I wasnt educated enough to know what i walked into. I loved who i thought she was. Thank you for the advise .

    • @freddynovember5842
      @freddynovember5842 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Alot of the times what we want is not what's best for us. You can't allow yourself to let someone elses issues drag you down. Know God did not make you to fail. Know that you have the strength in you to overcome all obstacles if you just tap into the inner badass that is in all of us. Tap into your iron will and it will help you through now, this moment in eternity

    • @akomeyam
      @akomeyam ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Yep.False accusation almost daily...Multiple personalities. How can they change personality in a second. THey will never hear you. They can voice out, but we can't.

    • @kathibeatty7948
      @kathibeatty7948 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Never hearing you goes so many ways. It’s not just the explaining what you want or need, they don’t hear you about anything! I can tell him about an event, a movie coming up etc. and he does not remember hours later. I am a non person to him beyond domestic supply.

  • @hawaiigirl8089
    @hawaiigirl8089 2 ปีที่แล้ว +24

    Yep 👍🏼 but easier said than done! Its way deeper than just watching & listening to-advice they know you & how to make trigger & smears LIKE A PRO

  • @debbiesipeki6741
    @debbiesipeki6741 2 ปีที่แล้ว +26

    YOU ARE SO SPOT ON AND EVERYONE SHOULD BE LEARNING FROM YOU!!

  • @1960mbg
    @1960mbg ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I have been dealing for 37 years with my Narcissistic husband! Didn’t realize it until 5 years ago and Im still getting out of it!! I look at it from the third party now! No longer living with him and it blows my mind what I see! How was I so blind and how did he take my power away? I’m a smart person but he left me a mental mess!!!!! They are soooo good at what they do! Evil😡😡

  • @CoolBreezeWyndi
    @CoolBreezeWyndi 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    People are replying for compliments but I can tell you that your presentation shows that you need healing. I need healing as well I regret that I clicked on this channel

  • @gempath5533
    @gempath5533 2 ปีที่แล้ว +17

    Probably a power and control issue! Then other people believe their lies, so much damn hell.

    • @dennismclaurin1487
      @dennismclaurin1487 ปีที่แล้ว

      This is how Satan comes into power and control through his people and their worshippers, to bring death and destruction

    • @Rabswood296
      @Rabswood296 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      The worst thing is trying to prove your innocence.

  • @classicalexpeditions5137
    @classicalexpeditions5137 2 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    Spot on! Your videos have helped me deal with a narcissist family member. I am now on the level that I don’t get triggered anymore, I use only email with them (and they did try to guilt trip me twice for ending communication via phone), email also helps document things. I can now see them for who they are, they mimic a lot, and I feel just so much happier now that I don’t talk to them on the phone. And our email communication is sporadic. Thank you, Rebecca for making these informative videos, they really help people get their power/voices back.

  • @hillarybrown6813
    @hillarybrown6813 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Spot On!!! I dated the poster child! You helped save my life by helping me not get involved again!!!!

  • @MissJanaMac
    @MissJanaMac ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Most definitely SPOT ON...& from what I've experienced, I explained all of this to narcissist & it was all lies, denial, rage, & attempts of justification for negative behavior. Thank u for informing everyone about this mental behavior.

  • @chrisman3965
    @chrisman3965 2 ปีที่แล้ว +25

    You're so right, they really do give you tons of material to use as leverage but if you can play the long game, as I have for 2 years, you'll end up with a stockpile of goodies for the lawyer. Going to court in September, and all the ammo and truth are on my side.

    • @RebeccaZungEsq
      @RebeccaZungEsq  2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Document, document, document! You got this!

  • @stewartyazzie1542
    @stewartyazzie1542 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Spot on!!! She’s used the court system against me. Before watching this video I documented everything and it helped so much! Judges do not like liars as you e mentioned. Also evidence is very powerful. I couldn’t afford a lawyer, so I represented myself. She went on smear campaign saying I couldn’t get along with her family when I never really interacted with them ever.

  • @bridgetpower6994
    @bridgetpower6994 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    They have conversations with themselves... mine would talk to himself all the time , mumble under his breath and he is creating a story that fits his narrative .

  • @les4soul15
    @les4soul15 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Spot on, this has been the most devastating experience and painful, but the best experience that has made me one strong woman.

  • @colleen6050
    @colleen6050 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    The devaluing phase lasted years while he was sleeping with his friend's wife and waited for me to complete a very rigorous RN program. The final year of our marriage was the discard, behind-the-scenes set-ups, smear campaigns, etc. So by the time he dumped me, he had already set up his plan with his friend's wife and his flying monkeys and others had already heard what a terrible wife and mother I was.

  • @b.yammer9485
    @b.yammer9485 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    I find most of my covert narcs accusations were actually projections of what they are doing. For example she accused me of hiding money, gambling, substance abuse, & having another partner on the side. All things she has been doing!

  • @gavrielaortega7275
    @gavrielaortega7275 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Lord knows this is so hard when you have children

  • @ScreamingEagleFTW
    @ScreamingEagleFTW ปีที่แล้ว +6

    they told me I was paranoid when I said she would make up false allegations about me.

    • @dennismclaurin1487
      @dennismclaurin1487 ปีที่แล้ว

      That's their ignorant way of making light of a dark situation.
      The ones who should be despised and condemned get the blind eye treatment

  • @ladydreachatman-robinson3680
    @ladydreachatman-robinson3680 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Oh my gosh. Spot on. I am in the middle of divorcing and I am dealing with mom who is a piece of work at times. Since I have woke up on finding out narcissist people, I could not believe how many were around me. My mom, one brother, my stbx, and my brother's girlfriend. Your videos are spot on with the behaviors that have been exhibited. I am in therapy now working to heal from the damage caused by these no good buzzards.

  • @Pocketraisins
    @Pocketraisins ปีที่แล้ว +3

    In a previous suit against my brother I almost busted out laughing. I cited he kept driving by three or four times an evening like a stalker. He said to the judge "With the price of gas right now, what sane person would do that?" I was thinking "Thank you. You just made my point for me!"

  • @Pedsonc01
    @Pedsonc01 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Hello from Alexandria, Virginia. Your descriptions and video examples of narcissistic behavior are "spot on". The practice in which I participated, in Southern California (Mecca for the most narcissistic personalities on earth), was, for me, an ordeal; There is no other term, of which I'm aware, that comes close to adequately describing my experiences. I adopted a six-word phrase that protected me from falling into a narcissist's trap. When people approached me and asked a personal question, I responded in kind with this: Why Do You Want to Know? That shut down the narcissist every time. I very much appreciated your TH-cam postings. Thank you.

  • @simoneshlomi3869
    @simoneshlomi3869 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    37 years with a narcissist. Only a few years ago realized that he is a narcissist and what narcissism is! I am emotionally and physically drained. 3 times Cancer which I truly believe was stressed induced. We are religious and my husband always uses religion to back up his narcissistic behaviour. Happy to find your channel. I have a lot to learn!

    • @tinawheeler8517
      @tinawheeler8517 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I myself just realized my husband’s a narcissist.. I agree with your about your illnesses.. I’ve lost 30 lbs in the last month in a half.. I asked my husband if he noticed and he said no.. Lol.. from 160 to 130 .. seriously. I had started to concern me so I did get some blood work done waiting for the results. I’ll be praying for you. Sorry you’ve lived in this misery..

    • @simoneshlomi3869
      @simoneshlomi3869 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@tinawheeler8517 Praying for you too! Thank you!

  • @twitchy_bird
    @twitchy_bird 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    My mother is this person, constantly. No matter what I do (or more accurately often times, do not do) she will accuse and assume and absolutely refuse to listen to proof of the contrary. So ridiculously childish for a 60 year old woman.

    • @RebeccaZungEsq
      @RebeccaZungEsq  หลายเดือนก่อน

      If you are so sick of the drama, trauma, and chaos- and want real powerful strategies for success - I’ve got the answer for you - sign up for our free webinar and start your transformative journey- this is the day your life changes!>> www.icanslay.com ✨

    • @lisatchappell912
      @lisatchappell912 8 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Mine Too!!!

  • @trillienone6394
    @trillienone6394 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Being an master @ life is knowing the trickery

  • @rozsa7828
    @rozsa7828 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    And it almost destroys you when they actualy see some of the crazy crazy lies

  • @jaedenscott5635
    @jaedenscott5635 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I'll tell you how you deal with someone's narcissistic traits you walk away go no contact and never look back. Wish I had been stronger in the earlier stages but here I am getting my self worth back.

    • @RebeccaZungEsq
      @RebeccaZungEsq  หลายเดือนก่อน

      If you are so sick of the drama, trauma, and chaos- and want real powerful strategies for success - I’ve got the answer for you - sign up for our free webinar and start your transformative journey- this is the day your life changes!>> www.icanslay.com ✨

  • @yathome5596
    @yathome5596 2 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    SPOT ON! You are awesome thank you for confirming that what i am doing dealing with my sister is correct. No emotion when there are false allegations as she wants me to get upset so she can then behave shocked and ask why am i upset lol

  • @mardykrzewinski3601
    @mardykrzewinski3601 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    This is so excellent! Just had a terrible confrontation with a terrible unhappy family narcissist. She triggered me and I bit. But I have to admit she was relentless. Even though it was in public I learned a lot. Never ever again.

  • @kimmydrury5906
    @kimmydrury5906 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I am currently and have been in relations with a covert narc who only has those tendencies towards me and me only since 2001. People will say.....oh, he's the nicest guy!" I think he's on a deeper level of narcissism....just how he can turn it on and off. I think I've met my match and now the narcissist wins.

  • @jdee928
    @jdee928 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Man, all these are spot on. The biggest challenge our family is facing is my brother’s soon-to-be ex wife. They were together like 23 years and she is just an absolute nightmare. She’s trying to fight for a family business and pass it as her own. The biggest disappointment has been my brother’s weak ass attorneys.

  • @barefootincactus
    @barefootincactus ปีที่แล้ว +11

    So many things in my life make sense now. Thanks for this.

    • @dennismclaurin1487
      @dennismclaurin1487 ปีที่แล้ว

      Yeah, I get see how the kingdom of Satan was founded

  • @kjaneb9878
    @kjaneb9878 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Yes the Guilt trips !! - using the children , saying what an awful selfish mother I am !! And yes they change their facts frequently, I never thought my ex husband was stupid when we were together but I certainly do now, trips himself up time and time again - it’s like he’s delusional- very odd !

  • @rhondacronkhite2913
    @rhondacronkhite2913 22 วันที่ผ่านมา

    #4 is spot on! I’m constantly amazed at hearing how I have screwed up. “You made me be born in Arkansas!” (He’s 38 yrs old now). The only limitation of how evil I am is his imagination !

  • @theresachiorazzi4571
    @theresachiorazzi4571 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    It’s so true you can catch a thief but it’s hard to catch a liar and some are such good liars

  • @heathercataldi-zoffoli2080
    @heathercataldi-zoffoli2080 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Unbelievable, my ex makes these false conversations. I thought it was only happening to me!

  • @scottbrandts610
    @scottbrandts610 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Wonderful Rebecca,
    The more of these videos I watch, the less significant and less effective narcissists' manipulation, destruction, seduction, domination and desperation seem.
    These people are just so weak. It's sad to know that they, themselves, could actually be productive and healthily co-existent with the rest of us and have the potential to create, promote and foster a giving, inclusive landscape in their own, and others' lives.
    But, very tragically, they won't.
    Thanks for making US the winners, Rebecca!

  • @MD.orion1
    @MD.orion1 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    It's important that people know, hiding income, not paying child support, paying relatives to hide extra income is a real thing.

    • @fairygurl9269
      @fairygurl9269 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Yes it Is
      Trust Yourself & Patterns

  • @tlove6932
    @tlove6932 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Thank you soooo much for all of your encouragement in your videos! Sooo reasuring & needing these GREAT reminders from each daily video! You ROCK!😎👍🏻🔥💞🤗SLAY!🔥🔥🔥

  • @angelaharris1112
    @angelaharris1112 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    This one has my me on it. My roommate loves to do this, And tell other people too! Oh my ex husband said awful lies even in the original divorce papers. I had a great lawyer my I got everything. I never react when my roommate starts making false allegations and acting like a lunatic. Thanks again Rebecca!❤️ Spot on!

    • @minoozolala
      @minoozolala ปีที่แล้ว +1

      You’d better move out or get rid of the roommate or they’ll hurt you badly.

  • @devikabrendon7198
    @devikabrendon7198 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Lady, this is GOLD! Thank you 🙏🏾

  • @MENTALHEALTHWITHLUKE
    @MENTALHEALTHWITHLUKE 12 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    My heart is on my sleave so I react when accused.
    Ask me anything and I'll answer. But accuse then I'm going to react, especially when we both know it's a load of BS.
    Never ever again. I'd rather die lonely, and I'm starting to believe that's their end game.
    As for the abuse, it's disgusting. I fortunately screen shot a text. I've had arguements with full grown angry men and never received anywhere near the things she's called me. Always via text or behind closed doors. They even use the info you give them on previous break ups.
    They ask you how other relationshits broke up, catching you off guard and discard you a couple weeks later. When you get over the discard and relay it back to yourself, you're amazed at how similar the discard was to the previous.only they have to go one better.

  • @christystory6433
    @christystory6433 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I am gray rocking my NC. He is completely withholding money from me and is financially abusive, aside from the hateful, display of verbal abuse! He picks fights over the most trivial things!

  • @ChristinaTheWatercolorFox
    @ChristinaTheWatercolorFox ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Thank you for making these vids! You are helping so many people.

  • @victorsturdivant4731
    @victorsturdivant4731 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Scary how accurate you are in your assessment. Good info. Thank you.

  • @ANaturalAllure
    @ANaturalAllure 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I have had a judge who will not let me tell her what he has been doing to me and the kids for the last 5 years, but lets him go on long lying tyraids. She called me "terrible" today and said i was just like him after years of me accommodating, backing down, and trying to keep the peace. I just stood there like, how, how can she believe him? Can't she see, can't she hear blah blah, blah. Why won't she let me show her all these years of proof! The smearing. I do not know how to handle it. How can she not hear the contradiction? It is devastating. I don't have enough money for her to see the pattern, so this is helpful.

  • @BlackthornBetty
    @BlackthornBetty 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    When my narcissist ex started his crap I was devastated. Telling him I didn't believe a word he said in months as I was leaving him was a GLORIOUS feeling.

    • @RebeccaZungEsq
      @RebeccaZungEsq  18 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Turn your toughest crises into your greatest victories. Join our webinar and learn how to transform pain into power in the realm of high-conflict divorces. 💪🔥 #FromPainToPower
      Learn more highconflictcert.com/ 🚀

  • @gretchenmorantowers4
    @gretchenmorantowers4 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    I am so grateful for you Rebecca. You are literally helping me save my life.

    • @oscarwilliamson1128
      @oscarwilliamson1128 ปีที่แล้ว

      gretchen moran towers,You look cute,Hope you are not with a narcissist…..

  • @markcarlisle3711
    @markcarlisle3711 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Bless you Rebecca love you you're so right..!! My NARC's are coming apart...!! Great video !! Truth sets the Victims Free..!!

  • @codrake784
    @codrake784 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Rebecca, with one of these points, it was mentioned to keep documentation of events. I have been watching several videos of narcissism and I am finally happy to see this video where you state to keep records and to document every instance of every time when I have been abused. One time I was accused for something that I had allegedly done, but I knew that I was innocent. When I handed my sibling a documentation it was very quiet at the time and to date no apology has been given.
    THANK YOU.

    • @RebeccaZungEsq
      @RebeccaZungEsq  หลายเดือนก่อน

      If you are so sick of the drama, trauma, and chaos- and want real powerful strategies for success - I’ve got the answer for you - sign up for our free webinar and start your transformative journey- this is the day your life changes!>> www.icanslay.com ✨

  • @carlosgomes6074
    @carlosgomes6074 ปีที่แล้ว

    Very great information,thank you.

  • @angieRN50
    @angieRN50 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Thank you Rebecca! Stay blessed 💜

  • @jannay1039
    @jannay1039 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Rebecca, you’re Spot On. However, it’s way more difficult and much more dynamic when one is dealing with their narcissistic parent. Very helpful though.

    • @TruthBeTold0914
      @TruthBeTold0914 ปีที่แล้ว

      💯 thank you, exactly my thought.

  • @badger31738
    @badger31738 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    My son married a narcissist December 4, 2022. They have lived together 5 years. I was accused of saying something that hurt her feelings 5 years ago, but yet no one can tell me what I said. She has one excuse after another to not be part of family functions. Like she thinks she’s punishing us. I’m glad she doesn’t come home with him. I know that he’s gotten tired of driving 45 minutes each way to see my husband and I. She always turns things around for him to see things by her point of view. I feel that she’s wording things so that he is unable to see things any other way except for her way. She has gotten 2 masters in psychology, so she is in my opinion dangerous the way that she is weakening his mind & manipulating. My question is, would it make things worse if I got my son to watch the video, “How to recognize a narcissist” or is there a video that could help him recognize what she’s doing to him or do I have no choice but to watch him go from a strong & successful man that would do anything for anyone with so much integrity & such a big heart to a man that is now having his health effected physically & being torn down. It breaks my heart.

  • @marcialussier2467
    @marcialussier2467 4 วันที่ผ่านมา

    I had dealt with mine on and off for 5 years. Kept breaking up with him constantly. I moved cross country, feeling like I was finally free, but, I gave him one time and started talking to him. He acted like he was revealing all this stuff, told me that he is very sorry but the reason some of his friends didn't like me is because he made up lies about me. I'm sure that was probably a lie too. I got sucked in one time and I allowed him to come and visit me, I had moved cross-country and I thought I was free. When he came to visit I could view him clearly. I had also quit drinking, and that made a big difference too. Anyway, at the end of his visit, when he was home, he started accusing me of still caring for a person that I used to date, that was exactly like him, and that person had had a stroke, and he started accusing me of still caring about him. He went on for just a couple of minutes, and I finally said, you know what, if you don't knock this off, we have absolutely nothing to talk about anymore. Hear Bradley hung up it is something that he has never done before. I knew he was trying to manipulate me, and I'm sure he expected me to call him back, worried that I had upset him. I never called him again. It's been one year and 3 months and I am completely delighted.

  • @cherylahanzel7540
    @cherylahanzel7540 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Rebecca, I want to thank you for your recent advice... much love.

  • @CurlyHostile
    @CurlyHostile 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    ❤️ Your videos have changed my perspective dramatically over the last 6 months. Thanks Rebecca :)

    • @RebeccaZungEsq
      @RebeccaZungEsq  2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      And, if you need extra support, don't hesitate to join my free webinar: www.slayyournegotiation.com/rzwebinar. You got this!

  • @GG-rk1bu
    @GG-rk1bu ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Spot on! Thank you for the vital work you do Rebecca ❤️

    • @RebeccaZungEsq
      @RebeccaZungEsq  หลายเดือนก่อน

      This might help you better >>> slaythenarc.com ✨

  • @stephaniecade7029
    @stephaniecade7029 ปีที่แล้ว

    Spot on! Thank you! I needed this today.

  • @elanahammer1076
    @elanahammer1076 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Spot on! This is so true with any type of narcissist. Good advice.🤔❤️🇺🇸

  • @peterknyk1942
    @peterknyk1942 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Hi Rebecca! I just finished listening to the whole video and I took notes! This was an absolutely incredible and so helpful video! Thank you so much! When you mentioned the smear campaign taking place before the discard, YUP!!! And becoming a Teflon coated impartial/indifferent observer made so much sense! I'm gonna have to listen to this again and again and again because it's so to the point! Thank you so very much! 🙏⚖️🙏

  • @mosim9691
    @mosim9691 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

    SPOT ON! My sister has picked up the NARC mantle (flying monkey) after my dad's death - she & I take care of our widowed mother. She started a smear campaign against me by falsely accusing me of threatening her. When she told the family attorney she planned to get a "no contact order" against me, I stood in my power and told her via the family attorney"if she obtained a no contact order under false pretenses, it is a crime and I would hire a criminal defense attorney and seek to sue her not only for malicious prosecution but also for infliction of intentional emotional distress as well as defamation."