@@user-fb8ib1gb9g if you have a close relationship with this girl, she needs to get checked out for disease and pregnancy. Gently let her know he will do this to other girls and may do it to her again and she will never feel peace as she gets older and hasn’t dealt with it. It’s likely someone close to her. Perhaps suggest a compassionate professional counselor she can open up to.
Lmao 🤣 if only it were that easy! We’d have thought of that ourselves! Lmao 🤣 walk away- she is talking mostly about marriage to one! Every man i know is so cheap that Narc or, not when hurt & angry nearly all husbands WILL cause as much chaos, money as in bills as possible
Sometimes you leave and they hound you for the rest of your life, stalking you through flying monkeys. Had this from one since 1997 despite no contact with him since 1997, and a newer one since 2019. If I meet any in the future I'm going to use her advice to avoid more harassment.
Ultimately that really is the only way. The only people they really respect are the people who absolutely refuse to have anything to do with them. When you know, you go - and the sooner that happens, the better.
Yesss. Yet when it’s your son , my granddaughters, are innocents .I have to not engage with him and his flying monkey posse. Ten years till the girls are on their own. Positive input and keeping all real .
@@diament2249 Yes, concur with you completely I think this quote is much more for bf&gf or wife&husbnd types of reltionships you know? I'd most definitely not ever recommend you don't try working things out with your Child/Children God bless you & yours ✨☘️🙏
@@diament2249 I am going through this w/both my 1st born (22 yrs old as of 3 days ago) and my very recent ex boyfriend (for a lil over 17 yrs). From my experience w/my son, I know I would have ended up dead or psychologically incapacitated had I not legally removed him from my home before initiating no contact. He just repeatedly takes, destroys, causes me health condition after condition via the never ending stress he causes. I’m disabled and have many chronic conditions. In the 1st 2 years after moving him back hm, I acquired 2 new health conditions. The 3rd year of him being in my hm left me w/a bunch of symptoms that haven’t been ID yet. Also, my lymph nodes have developed growths on them and they swell up even more biweekly- of course they’re the ones that impact my face & jaw n they swell up in front of my ears - behind them and the jaw line. The ever increasing stress he causes (his brother and myself) has made my body assume it’s fighting an infection which is why my lymph nodes swell as they do & where they are-to add insult to injury. It hurts differently when this behavior comes from the person who developed in your womb. The range of emotions faced in trying to protect your other children and yourself from a narcissistic son/daughter is nothing anyone would want to deal with in this way bc your initial instincts of wanting to protect and support can’t be done. Look at it this way, you definitely can’t help anything , especially not help your child while you’re allowing yourself n other members of the family to be exposed to the narcissistic child’s abusive behavior and you’re definitely not helping them by keeping them there. I never thought I’d ever had to remove anyone from my presence but nothing will stop them from wreaking havoc upon their parent and so called significant other. It only gets worse- even when ur under the impression that they can’t cause more than what has already been done❤️🩹. You deserve to be able to parent other children and/or be whatever you are to other people in your life and you won’t have the ability to do so if you don’t remove the source of abuse/misery while you can. I told myself I would give my 1st born until he’s 25/26 years old b4 I take major action bc I was hoping he’d be much better once his brain has reached maturity but there’s no way I would have made it til then and I surely couldn’t allow my other son to keep enduring the madness, disrespect and worsening of everything his brother seemed quite pleased to acknowledge the depth of his toxicity upon each person, the atmosphere of the house and the destruction herein - including my personal and therapeutic items - including appliances 🙄🤦♀️. Positivity replaces the void that was once overflowing w/the negativity of the narcissist once they’re not around any longer. Positive changes will cause more positivity n that will become the norm that will be gr8ly noticeable and appreciated. Both narcissists are out of our lives simultaneously - there was no chance I’d be able to put up w/another narcissist or the same antics of the overdue to be removed narcissist after I finally set boundaries and actually felt the peacefulness that should permeate both one’s home and one’s soul. It’s almost like he knew what was coming w/o me mentioning anything about “us” and that’s bc I was focusing on my son 1st. Naturally, the ex couldn’t be supportive regarding my heavy emotional toll while I was dealing w/the no contact with my son bc I’m sure he made my feelings and my actions done toward my child specifically as if everything was all about him like he always accused me of sending secret messages to him via speaking about whatever was troubling me. 🤮 RUN FROM ANYONE LIKE THIS and you’ll understand the peacefulness I referenced that you’ll never want to give up and that you’ll actually wonder how/when it was when you were capable of giving that up in the first place👍🏽
You’re absolutely right!! And just knowing that I know what’s going on and who you are empowered me to keep going and to find my strength and my voice again and finally start holding him accountable for his actions and not just letting it go because I don’t have the energy to argue with you!! Nope time to take my power back!
@@Rollwithit699 that sucks, not totally the same, but my mother was pretty narcissistic, and I was willing to keep her at arms length to preserve my sanity and wellbeing.. Much harder when it's your child, but you can set boundaries with grown children. With my mother not engaging her crazy, was the most effective.
The more I ignore my husband or the colder I get, he's actually nicer. I'm not able to leave, but I just want peace and I have to be nasty to get treated somewhat normal! It just sickens me!
@@bridgetrusso4801 , it is sick and sad. I hope one day you will manage to escape, to be able to build healthy relations, based on reciprocity and mutual respect.
Sometimes the circumstances are beyond your control. The narcissist could be a coworker or son-in-law, for example. But I absolutely agree if we're talking about a girlfriend or mate who you chose in your life. I don't need their respect, I need them gone.
unfortunately... their are perfect good people who have had a child with a Narcissist person. Because of the children involved... you got 18yr. at least of dealing with the said Narcissistic person.
Ive been beaten down over many years. I. Need to respect myself. They can make you feel worthless over time. They can emotionally damage people . im still honest and smart. I got older and got stuck. Im working on a plan.
exactly...i agree with you... what you think is the narc's respect will be fake respect, used to lure you in and then backstab you and twist the knife while watching your eyes for your reaction....they feed on emotional distress like demonic vampires...they are psycho
YES! The big secret is... that you don't need other people's "respect." Respect is something we have inside ourselves. It's a precious gift that a whole person has for themselves and can give to others. Hollow, angry, malevolent people have no respect within them.
SOMEBODY SPOILED MY HUSBAND ROTTEN. AND WON'T COMPETE WITH THAT CAUSE HE TENDS TO FORGET THE MOST HIGH GOD. DEAL BREAKER FOR ME. THAT'S WHY I GOT MARRIED TO SAY THE LEAST AND HE CANT HANG OBVIOUSLY. IT'S KOOL.. BUT DONT COME LOOKIN FOR ME WHEN I GET GONE. YOU WONT FIND ME
My ex disrespect their company boss until he did not get promotion and the entire team left him suddenly. He told me what a shock for him. I laugh in my heart after so many years of his mental abusive. I told him I forgot all our memories when he tried to humiliate me after we divorced. That’s another shock for him. He quickly find other supply and smear campaign of me. Anyway it doesn’t effects me as I already see his karma.
If you absolutely have to “deal” with a narc, I would recommend to keep firm bounderies, and keep your distance at the same time. As a second choose on how to deal with the narcissist I would recommend keeping firm boundaries and also to correct them every time they missteps, lie, manipulates etz. When your boundaries are not respected by the narcissist, you need to follow through with consequenses of bad behaviour. You will have your hands full going forward this way. When following through with consequenses to their “re”actions, you explain to the narc, that you are not one of the narc`s victims. You have no intentions of becoming one but will be a nuisance to the narcissist in a way that is irritating to him/her. This method is not risk free but narcissists will often choose the path of no or low resistance. This method is a time consuming path to chose. This route sometimes require more time than you would like to spend on these issues. You feel that distancing yourself all together would have been easier. That is however not always possible. Often there is no way to avoid him/her. You unfortunately have to deal with the narcissist because you are colleagues or close family. You must think through what you need the narcissist to respect and what arias of conflict you must pay extra attention to, to keep your integrity and to detect manipulative behavior. Be prepared and clear in your communication and stick to your guns. Try to stay under the radar as much as you can, even when this method is the best for you. A way that works as well is to play along with the narcissist and act like you agree with everything they do and say. This method works well until many people in the narcissists sphere do the same. When everyone agrees with the narcissist you are back on square one. The narcissist must have victims and this setting is no different. To go NO Contact is another good alternative and method, and is probably the best option when it is possible to cut all contact permanently. Additionally, If you’re like me you might want to consider monitoring your partner device it can be done through a variety of methods such as setting up a dedicated app or else you get in touch with this private investigator Metaspyhub@gmail. com that is genuine to make your request done successfully with 100% guarantee.
@@lovewhitey2027 And they don't even care about the person they are cheating with. Even 5 minutes of getting a high from a stranger is enough to keep them jazzed.
I have finally learned , without respect , there is no love. You can not love anything with out respecting it. Really , why would you? I think about how many years ( out of 61) that I have given my energy to disrespecting creatures. While starving myself from the love & respect of real worthy humans! Welcome to the world as it should be !! ✨♥️🌎✨
@@trengenius9126 respect me,..ha. hes the only one who can't. Even the town code enforcer is trying to get him to go away. Nope. Any suggestions? I'm in since 15 yrs old, but now my last son is 16½. He just refuses to leave until he "gets his money" Ha. Then hell leave!.👃
@@kevinogorman1370 ? Still ? Mine just plain refuses to leave. Or sign. Or even work now.. Every day pretends he doesn't know what I'm talking about!. Also +30 years. Hugs!
I really don't need any fake respect from a narcissist.....but at the same time you need to leave them as soon as your able too, expose the narcissist for who they really are (only if it's safe to do so), become a better person physically and financially after them and have no sympathy or mercy on them at any time. 👍
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Yeah?!? NO! Just leave them! They will never respect you. You will never be able to negotiate with a narc. In their psychotic head, they’re always right. Been six years done of the insanity and I still get wound up and upset when I talk about it.
Yes, my friend of ten years Bar - always thinks he's right "listen to Uncle Barrie and you won't go far wrong". He speaks to me like I am a child! Then it takes great effort for me not to fall into the trap and act accordingly! I have to get free. He's in Spain most of the time now. Has homes there and in England. He said he wants more than friends. But he doesn't treat me with respect (I don't think he knows the finer points of a relationship) I said to him you don't cherish me and I'm not being a "friend with benefits". So let's just be friends. He said "I want more than that". But he never even buys me a coffee when he returns he expects me to pay as he says "I have two places to run". We went to the beach on his last visit with a picnic. I took all the picnic and bottle of wine. When I laid out the picnic he said "you're pushing the boat out, aren't you" as though I didn't always pay! Two weeks earlier I'd gone to beach on our heat wave. But as I had to travel farther than Bar I had no time to go to Waitrose for my food. Bar brought his own and I was ravenous. I asked him for a 🍌 banana, he had two, he had some mandarins, apples and pie. He shouted at me irritably and said I told you to bring your own, now you're asking for mine. He broke off a piece of banana - I refused. Yet as I mentioned above two weeks later I took a lovely spread even went to get him baps for his burgers as it was the penultimate day before returning to Spain and he'd turned his freezer off before he would leave. He asked me to get him the rolls. I obliged. But actually as I was apalled by his spiteful behaviour I said (for a change,) I'll have half of the money for the wine Bar. To my surprise he pretended to moan then said "oh alright then". I'd never pushed it before. So maybe I'm partially to blame for being a pushover? I'd had years of cruelty with a narcissistic mother and although I was bewildered and unhappy o did not know exactly what it was now everyone knows what it is. Why do they want to hurt you & demolish you. What do they gain. To knock you down to raise themselves up? They must be very insecure. Wonder what their reaction would be if you felt sorry for them? Peace ☮️ out It's a no no situation - I get nothing from it but am still in the game as I have been pre conditioned by having a narcissistic mother & a few in the family, so put up with all kinds of rubbish in an attempt to please and gain approval. Peace ☮️ out.
It does not work in romantic relationship whatsoever ! Unless you singing up for perpetual pissing contest. Sad part is that even when you win , you loose ! Don’t waste your life trying to prove them wrong !
True. I wasted 3 precious years with a narc. They’re like a giant vacuum, sucking the emotional, spiritual and physical life out of you. I don’t even want to stay in touch anymore. Cold cuts is what they deserve for dinner.
Dead silence/non-reaction scares narcissists, haters, people who don't respect your boundaries, and people who are jealous/envious of you. Jealousy can mean a lot of things: rumors, competition, lies. They look down on you. They don’t miss any detail of how you are dressed or how you act, etc. They are always hanging on what others are doing or saying. They are often critical and judgmental. They often reveal things to others. They never have enough of anything; they are never satisfied. They always believe that other people are more fortunate and get everything. Often they are not creative. In fact, it is common for them to copy others. And they are happy when others fail. There will always be jealous people around you. You will come across them in your friend groups, in your workplace, in your neighborhood, and even in your family. Don’t let yourself be susceptible to this negativity, nor let it bring you down.
The more succesful, happy and alive you are, the more motivation they have to try to break you down. It is no respect that they have it is for their own fuel and a challenge to destroy.
@@user-jr2gb9ou8b Actually, narcissistic people don't seem to be hurt. They seem to have been coddled and taught that they are worth far more than others. They are filled with pride and arrogance. They look down on everyone else. I have been hurt by people over and over again, and it doesn't make me want to hurt others. It has caused me to have a heart for those who are hurting. Now narcissists, on the other hand, I would like to knock them into next week. They need to feel some pain to know what it feels like. They are assholes of the nth degree.
Summary for myself: 1. Stay distant from them 2. Stay independent financially and emotionally 3. Continue to have value 4. Be in a condition to have control over them, i.e. a boss 5. Let them believe you aren’t on them 6. Be self assured, confident In the end: we don’t need them/trash in our life, aren’t we 🤷♀️
Yep when you have kids and a job you don't qualify for any assistance it is hard to afford it for 1 and 2 people aren't dependable. Gotta do what we have to until we get to the next point
I'm married to a narcissistic, control freak . After many years of dealing with her ,I've learned one thing .It drives her crazy when I turn the tables and use her methods to foil hers.Only problem is ,now I'm old. Over these years she pretty much destroyed my confidence in myself . I should've had this info years ago . I would've been long gone .
Don't think that way, you don't have to settle. Now that you know, be brave to try and be yourself and love yourself, there are women out there that will be happy to be with you, and have another chance in life. Trust in the Lord and be happy, He knows what is in our heart, you don't have to settle until the end.
I agree with you Ted. I am just realizing I am with a narcissist, I have thought it was my fault why we couldn't be happy. My life and business is tangled up with this relationship, I am older, so I will work on taking care of myself and basically tuning him out. I won't travel with him or plan occasions because it will lead to disappointment. For now I will enjoy my hobbies and friends.
@@greenstrawberry6014 mine told me when he came back after a few years, he didn't know I could be happy with out him and I tokd him, I can't stop living my life , it doesn't revolve around you. I know what makes me happy.
@@edwinasabater6642 that's what upsets them, being happy. There is no limit to happiness, if someone wants to hang with me to have some fun enjoying life, great, but don't drag us down!!
Why would you want their respect? They're profoundly ill and wholly incapable of having a healthy relationship with * anyone *, family, faux-friends and faux partners. #2 sounds like game playing. Don't engage with them on a personal level, EVER. Zero-sum game.
I love you to pieces and you have helped me through my divorce. My question is simple... Why do we care if they respect us or not. At some point, we have to just respect ourselves.
In my experience, once they know you're onto them, they begin to break off association from you altogether. My father is a prime example. He not only disowned me, but forbids others from talking to me. I moved back home about 10 years ago and was only there for a few months and we haven't spoken really since. It's him more than me. It's actually so bad that he refuses to even given my mail to me. I just found out that a company has been sending me royalty checks for the past 10 years and my father, rather than letting me know, has thrown them away. I contacted my step mother about this, she first called me a liar, and then admitted to keeping several packages sent to me at his address that I didn't know about. And then stated that those packages were gifts from him, to me, and that I was ungrateful. Next level narcissism right there.
I understand the purpose of this video. It's not that you want their respect or value it on a meaningful level, but that you need to maintain a workable relationship with them for some finite duration in order to either work your job or get out of the situation that has bound you to them. I think a good example is when the narcissist is your boss and you're not in a position to move on yet. You will work on finding that next job and the timing to get it, but you will want to be able to work with the narcissist until you don't have to anymore.
An outsider would think that's a terrible thing to say, but to those of us who care for a narcissistic elderly parent, it's a true fact, only God can reach the lost and believe me narcissistic people are truly lost .
Also, when they crumble, smile at them sweetly. When they ask for assistance getting up, kindly walk away smiling and ignore the day their momma pushed them out!😎
Excellent advice which I use all the time as an adult. Unfortunately, as a child with a narcissistic parent I had no power to implement many of these 6 things. Instead, I kept to myself as much as possible then left asap. Going no contact made them mad as a bag of frogs and very frustrated. I'm not sure narcissists really respect anyone, but if you set boundaries, stand in your power, become untouchable they are certainly wary of you.
Same happened to me I had a narcissistic mother but the meaning of her sadistic and callous jealousy wasn't apparent to me as a child. I loved her to distraction & was loving, affectionate, and although guarded (she said I never bonded with her or confided in her ---) I was afraid of her black days. She was charming and had everyone think she was wonderful (externally as in out of the house), but in the house she was a devil. Everyone in the extended family spoke of me as the awkward & bad one with issues. I wanted to clear the air before she died but she said to my brother and a foster girl she took in (Roz Stevenson) that she didn't want to see me either at the hospital or the funeral. I have no concrete evidence of this. There were issues with the so called 'foster girl' and myself (she got quality time my mother building her up and knocking me down) but the comparisons didn't end there. I am wondering if Roz was a narcissist too or how did she work the narcissist in my mother to great effect? Suffice it to say my younger brother (who dated Roz for three years too) never told me my mother had died until 6 months after she was buried ie after probate for obvious reasons. Then I got a letter saying "this was never going to be an easy letter to write but mother died back in April" this was now September and Roz changed her name by deed poll £25 to claim my inheritance. So I hate to do this speaking badly of anyone but maybe my brother was that way too. My mother was also a manic depressive. Did her desire to crush me get worse as I came to adulthood. I will never clear the air now, no heart to heart to see why I was never enough and yet some avaricious and manipulative female had power to destroy me. I am aware that mother must take some of blame. She was, ironically, a social worker! In our village exchanges with a French village we were in Villneuve Sur Yonne and although my French wasn't good I looked forward to it. But in the banquet with the whole village & mayor my mother said at the long table & loudly (as a couple of French people had said I looked very chic!) "I've taught her everything she knows,, she'd be absolutely nothing without me". Etc I wanted to shrivel up jump in a hole in the ground and die. So now she's gone I thought I'd be free.... But she still has her hand on my shoulder, I'm still not free & have no way to stabilise myself as I allow more humans (or non humans) to hurt me whilst I bend over backwards attempting to help everyone, solve their problems and love them unconditionally - can someone tell me how to change this ridiculous and ruinous way of living? I'd appreciate the advice as I'm ashamed to admit I am in a similar relationship (or SITUATIONSHIP) for ten years. This following a similar situation, although I escaped that one by default - he died of bone cancer. I am running out of time - help! Any advice? Oh I am estranged from my brother (that foster female is still clinging on like a limpet and she would like my brother back but he is happily married with a child). So, more street cunning than myself she is now his sister! I don't have family backup now. Any advice ??? Peace ☮️ out. SW England
It's unalterably sad (hopefully not) my life now & if I load any more unhappiness on myself it will be like the plimsoll line on a ship - overload until water goes over the plimsoll line and I'm sunk. Peace ☮️ out. SW England
@@christynorman7288 Hi Christy. I really understand how this pain can shape and threaten to overwhelm your life but there is plenty of hope out there. Living in a family dominated by a narcissistic parent is like living in a cult. Your brother (and mine!) are true believers and after the narcissist is dead they will continue to haunt you through their flying monkeys. Just remember that none of this is your fault or is under your control. You can’t change their ways and you can’t change the past. These people rob us of our childhoods but they can’t rob us of our adulthoods unless we let them. Learn to love, appreciate and parent yourself. Enjoy doing all the little things: I like gardening,sewing,walking my dog,tea with a friend, a weekend break.. doesn’t have to be ‘exciting’ or expensive just a little step towards pleasure and contentment. Finding joy builds self esteem and attracts better relationships. When you are happy and self sufficient you attract healthier people to you. If you think you’ve been financially exploited, consulting a solicitor is money well spent. They will give you impartial, non emotive advice and will help provide a buffer in dealing with toxic family members. Mine has secured an additional £100,000 this year for me from an inheritance withheld by my family. Don’t despair. Remember that we are the lucky ones. Our siblings have had their lives prescribed by others. We have free will and get to choose our own destiny.
Ruth Thank you every bit of support helps me - I go up and down like a see saw. I do try so hard to be all things to all people an impossibility no wonder I come unstuck. I do like doing gardening, sewing Tapestries, walking, cooking, and having tea with friends although I lost a few with the Coronavirus (flu) fiasco. They told me to stay away as I hadn't had a jab. (I can't as I would go in anaphylactic shock) so am much on my own - which is bad news I have loads of time to think and for an analytical thinker it's not the best thing. I appreciate your input. It takes a strange brother to bury my mother and six months later & after probate tell me in a letter about it. I dislike myself as I never see the bad in anyone until I come a cropper. Well onwards & upwards. Thank you, Christy SW England 🇬🇧
@@ruthpearsall2618 I feel like a golden retriever who has been badly treated and kept down - someone pat's me on the head and o wag my tail. Regardless of their evil intentions I still respond with love. I obviously am three sheets to the wind!
I've learnt from experience that there's another way to get them to respect you,especially when it comes to respecting your boundaries. First of all, they respect people of few words and who take action instead of making threats or who allow them to drag them down a rabbit hole. So if a narcissist pushes your boundaries, don't argue or try to reason with them.Give them a FIRM warning and follow through with it. Something like this:"If you don't back off NOW, this is what will happen!" .Then, when they try to drag you into an argument,you start a loud, firm countdown:"ONE....TWO... THREE....", and if they don't back off by the count of three, you follow through with your warning without flinching or saying anything further. (as long as that action is moral and legal).
Should anyone be respected,but why,your only human,you need do something or be someone to be respected,it drives the narcissist,it's a concept that you should figure out,practice being distanced towards them,because they need their narcisstic supply,stay in a place where you feel comfortable,your comfort zone will be needed to feel that you have avoided being annoyed by them,if you value prestige,they need to be attached to it,what could you do for them,do you have money,or are you a celebrity,they need to use that against you to get that narcissist supply,it's actually counter intuitive if your not that type of person,the dynamic has shifted as a result,the balance of power has shifted💥✔️
I'm skipping mediation. The other party ignored me after I reached out twice. Wasting my time. That's it. It's straight to Summary Judgement. I REFUSE to play their mind games when it was THEM who suggested holding a mediation lol.
Yes! I've left mine several times. They don't respect boundaries. I should've called the cops when he was dropped off on my doorstep, but I didn't. It was my son's father. I'm regretting it now! He stole my truck, and is seeking sympathy from my ex boyfriends from 22 years ago! Nobody's believes his shit so he has resorted to calling an ex from 22 years ago to get sympathy. WTH?!!!
The real key to not falling prey to a narcissist-- or any other manipulative type-- is simply not to care what anybody thinks of you. A manipulator's favorite and most effective weapon is to make you CARE what he/she thinks of you-- and if you don't care, the person has no power over you.
@@peaknonsense2041 Discernment and knowing what NOT to invest your emotions in when you come up against a narcissist, or any abuser, who will resort to playing mind games and other abusive behaviour, is actually part of common sense human behaviour that serves to protect us from harm. I’m quite worried that you call this internal intelligence that we actually need to tap into more, narcissism?🤔 For clarity, having the discernment to not engage but distance oneself from emotional conflict, chaos, confusion and abuse is not narcissism. Also and importantly, you can still love, care and forgive someone from a distance.
RULE for #6…”Physical distance makes emotional distance”. Always. Put as much physical distance between you as possible. (For instance, have a 3rd party pick up and deliver children-even if you have to pay someone)!
This is where my opinion differs. I was married to one for 30 years and had a whole family of them. Narcissists respect no one. Either you are a source of supply or you are not. If they don’t bother you it means you are not supply to them not that they respect you. They are jealous and envious of everybody and everything. I don’t need nor want their respect. They can move right along as I won’t be a form of supply for them.
Narcissist Not respect people, they use people. Narcissists approach people with supply ( ones with money, popularity, power, connection, influence, good looking, famous, stuff they crave for.) To use it as theirs. Not as theirs but as you owe them. Because, healthy people sure care about people or things they have, protect and maintenance them.
Wow, I love these comments. I don't think a narcissist is capable of giving love or respect. They're the most despicable human being there is. They want to be like us and realize that won't happen. Their minds live in the cesspool they created for themselves. After the abuse I've taken from some, I only wish them a life of misery and loneliness, which they end up being.
I recently became a park manager of an senior estates. The only reason I did was to stop the abuse of of previous manager which is a full blown NARCISSIST! The abuse this woman used with the tenants was horrible. She kept a handful of tenants close that she used as her army and still even now that I have taken over she will not stop. It's like a drug to her. I see myself using some of your methods and they work. But being in management I of course am limited to what I can say. I'm not sure how I am going to be able to continue to deal with her. I will continue to watch your videos until I come up with a plan. Also maybe modify some of the comments so I remain professional. Your advice is great and thank you. I really needed your help. I have never had to deal with this from anyone before. It has thrown my brain into LEFT field. The one problem which is the largest is she has about 8 people who are so weak they will go along with her to make the other 54 tenants miserable. So I need to shut her down to a point even they do not have any respect for her and that I believe will change the game. Wish me luck!
When I moved on...This narcisstic bitch engaged in black magic and nearly destroyed my love life. They are highly efficient in the black arts. Rebecca zung is fortunate and the rest of yourll not to have had this experience!!!!
@@ashchan0504 They are natural "witches"...born that way. See Genesis 3:15 and Psalm 58:3-5. The only way to thwart their spiritual attacks is to be under God's spiritual covering and protection. IF you are fornicating or doing something that goes against His commandments or fall outside His grace, you are open sport for these devils.
These are some smart statements. They do work also in private life. Narcissist are not (enough) empathic and they hate emotionally weak people, because they don't understand what is going on.
My ex wife smashed one of my prized family heirlooms and then smirked as she saw my heartbroken reaction. That was my AHA moment when I realized it was over.
Wow! Simply experience. My moment was when my narc husband kept calling me fat and ugly though he was heavier and had no teeth and barely washed, yet I was working out, lost 80 lbs, and got teeth. I realize they wanted me to not feel like I was getting better when I was and so it was evil I sensed and that is when I started see it's time to roll and now I am.
Recently I was in a play with a narcissistic actress who deliberately sabotaged a scene we were in by skipping over my cue to enter. It was a scene where we both sang, she first and then me but on opening night after I sang I received great applause and standing ovation from the audience! The next night as I waited off-stage for my line cue to enter, it never came. I couldn't believe it! The actress had completely deleted my scene by skipping to several lines past it! During intermission this actress was crying to the director saying she was so sorry, she didn't know how she could have forgotten my cue line. The director began comforting her but this actress never included me in the apology and when the director walked away this actress smirked at me. I then told the director that the actress, who was a seasoned performer and not one to forget lines, did it on purpose. The director said she found that hard to accept but that if the actress did it again, that there would be consequences. There were 7 more performances and it didn't happen again but I told the director if it did I was going to go onstage anyway and do my song and that the actress would just have to improv to keep the scene going. As I had studied many years with an improv teacher I knew I could make it work and in doing so completely take the rest of the scene away from her. The director may have told her this also. The night this happened I had many friends in the audience who were looking forward to hearing me sing and were appalled when they heard what had happened. As for this actress, I had nothing to do with her from that time on and will never be in another show with her. Although she is an excellent actress and I had always respected her, I no longer did. When looking back at other plays she had been in, I remembered other incidences that revealed she was a narcissist. But I didn't know about narcissism back then. Now that I do know I am amazed at how many were in my life. Thankfully I have been able to completely break away from several even though these relationships were 30+ years old and how freeing and peaceful it has been since!
I have found through experience, calling them out on their lies is VERY effective. There will be no need to stay away from them, they will actively avoid contact. Watching them spas out when they come to the realization that someone is on to them is quite entertaining. It also exposes them to others.
I have exposed my narcissist but he then got worse and took revenge, you need to be prepared for the onslaught, the persecute you in ways you never imagined because they have a very dark streak. I have reached the point where i have nothing left to lose so I don't care anymore. I will keep fighting back.
But everytime I argue they block you or set up new Facebook then block you and change their number too Mine says I didn't give him space even though I gave him a week then two weeks then 6 months to then blasted with he has a girlfriend now into a month of chatting again. We haven't spoken for 3 months after that I really don't know what his life is
@@joshuamason2729 You don't get it. *We* are the ones that don't want an argument. If your narcissist is ignoring you, consider yourself very lucky and get away/out.
I'm a 38 year old single father to a son I'm not even sure is mine. (Not that it would even matter to me) My wife literally tore me down to my core, and even as an empath I lost everything inside of me. I found out she had been cheating for almost 5 years, and my sons 3. She left, and now I'm here to pick up the pieces. The only thing that keeps me on track is my son.
Distance is the key. For those too close unable to break away, death seems like a viable option. I mean figurative, sometimes even real. Scary scenario with a narcissist.
I'll read the Bible and replace the terms "devil" or "demon" with narcissist... and the characters within the Bible have human faces. Read John 8:44-45. Figure out what race the man was that Jesus was talking to in that verse and start having epiphanies about what race is a race of devils.
@@craigkillmonger7283 Not much difference between the flesh and the devil. Really just red dragon energy directed at those who are susceptible. Even Peter. Jesus said, 'Get behind me Satan' (means adversary). Good intentions are not always correct. Have to affirm and listen to the Holy Spirit.
I had to explain to my son that respect is having consideration for other's feelings. It doesn't mean you are required to anything they want. You have to have self respect and not allow being a doormat. Chances are, they disrespect us by having no consideration for us, and we don't have to take their crap if we don't want to.
My last neighbor, (moved out, hurray!) was one of those who blasted his music to make the walls shake. When confronted about his behavior, he demanded RESPECT. (what he felt was respect) His idea of respect is for everyone to allow him to do as he sees fit, without being bothered by anyone else's boundaries. He is confusing "respect me" with "fear me". I commend you for teaching the meaning of respect, we don't need any more neighbors like that 🥂
So you're suggesting I engage in their games so they'll respect me? But I want nothing from them and they have no credibiltiy. Seeking respect from a narcissist is like asking health advice from a drug addict or getting financial advice from a conman. This video was well intentioned but missed the mark.
When I got married in 2003, I discovered I was married to one. The mother and sister were even worse. They all worked together to destroy me. It was like being in a viper pit with them slithering around trying to figure out ways they could sink their fangs into me. I despise them. I hope they reap what they have sown.
I am in this position now. He, his mother and sister all doing just as describe. They have coffee clutches in the mornings to plot their next evil deed. I am on my way out and literally dream of my new life where the old black snakes in the grass no longer exist.
Respect me. Financial and emotional independence. Being weak in those areas at times is when the narcs have danced all over me. Thanks, Rebecca. Learning so much from your vids.
No Contact! That's the goal, but until then, I am being "nice". I don't think the "respect me" phrase works with the malignant narcissist, because they just lash out in harmful ways! I cannot wait to get out of here.
My nex was in shock when he entered his home: I leave him in 3 hours (packed ALL my personal things/furnitures etc) when he was at work and moved out. Then I did NO CONTACT. We where a couple in 12 years (of abuse from him) and I planned it very well in secret for several months. For me I do NOT want his respect = I do not care at all what he think or do.
@@detjaggillar8081 - Don’t worry about what the narcissist thinks about you, they don’t. They are only thinking about themselves. Is “nex” short for “narcissist ex”? Because if that wasn’t on purpose it should have been.
@@reesedaniel5835 - I have noticed that they tend to go together. 😁 Thanks for confirming that though because I have been hearing it used more frequently.
As a child I always kept a "straight face" never showed my emotions, especially if something made me happy. Never look happy, they hate to see you happy. They have no real respect for anybody. Call ir respect, but its a mask
"Invisible child" is a role in a narcisistic system. There's some great videos to help heal from concealing a true identity in order to protect from narcisistic abuse. Other roles include scapegoat, golden child and handmaid. I hope you heal well. The best of life is yet to come!
Yeah I was assaulted just for smiling once. What are you so happy about he asked. They have to control and manipulate EVERYTHING you are not entitled to your feelings same if I was upset he would disapprove and tell me I should act happier. Whatever you do or feel is wrong according to them to destabilize you. I had been independant for years prior to him so my self esteem was good and I talked back which he hated self assured types are not as easy to manipulate.
My narc is challenged me in court three times and lost all three times. The control that I have over her is that I could put her in jail without too much effort and could care less if she shares pictures of me that I shouldn't have given her. Kind of proud in a way
3 times? Damn. She is hella vindictive. You touched on a very good point. The guy I was dealing with knows that I am confident and do not care if he talks bad about me to people so he doesn't have any leverage.
@@jamesarmstrong4179 absolutely not, I’m with a commitment phone man, who is coming around because I made it very clear what I wanted and he was free to do what he wanted. I walked away for a period of time until he could answer my questions and he has come back being the man I knew he could be. As an Aries, we don’t get abused and appreciate you reaching out and checking up on me!
A narcissist is never going to respect anyone, imho. They may back away when you're coming from a solid position of strength...like when an ex wouldn't leave me alone after the divorce-- so I threatened to let someone know that he had an illegal working for him under the table. (It was pure self preservation, and it worked.) And secondly, if you just flatly refuse to give them any supply. And they are tricky-- so they will try a myriad of ways to make you react and bring you to heel.
Yes one of their favorite go to tactics is to "accidentally" break or destroy something of yours that's very sentimental or very expensive. Another favorite is to cause a death in the family (via their evil witchcraft and abusive tactics). A death of someone who was not a narc. If you notice in these narc infested families, there comes a point in time when every single non narc is DEAD and only the narcs and flying monkeys remain (the Scapegoat usually has left the scene at this stage). The non narcs who stayed and never really woke up to the demons around them are sucked dry of life forces and deceased.
You are you saved my life today my wife has lied and disrespected me for years I’m done being a victim and pretending I believe the lies and being called crazy I’m done thank you you freed me
6. Distance 5. Independence 4. Healthy, balanced self respect 3. Maintain authority over their interest 2. Let them believe you're not onto them 1. Be self assured
I disagree with your comment about the narcissist respecting Judges. I’m in a drawn out and toxic divorce with a highly successful litigation lawyer. He has breached many Court Orders (without repercussion) and takes the attitude that no one will tell him what to do.
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This is good , I definitely understand that hierarchy of supply, and start to see what they'll really fighting for. After no-contact, they can keep their respect to themselves. 🙃🙂
My dad is a narcissist, just this year that I am 44 years old I was able to tell him to treat me with the same respect I always treated him. I asked him not only to notice negative things about me but also the positive ones, which I believe there are many more. I felt relieved, and he never apologized but I know it was shocking to him and it worked somehow because I feel more empowered now when I deal with him.
Mine too I am now learning more. I have asked him why he does these things to me and I cite a few times he has. His response was to accuse me of dredging in the past and says that's unhealthy. Then he went around to other family members and said I have "issues". You can't win with a narcissist because they have been practicing all their lives how to derail anyone that is on to them. They will up the stakes and make it worse. There will be consequences.
My dad was kind of like that too bro. He died within the last year and I don't miss him at all. But I got to tell him exactly what I thought of him so there was no ambiguity of any kind. He was completely delusional to say the least but I wasn't going to let him die and not get that off my chest. I'm glad you got your respect back and did what you needed to do I did the same thing. I'm more of a violent type that doesn't let anybody do that kind of thing and the only reason he got away with it is cuz he was my father and as early as my twenties I realized that there's nothing he can do about it besides get his ass kicked if he messes with me. I probably should have beat his ass once or twice but there would be no point to taking out a guy and his condition. Not to mention it would have really hurt my mother and she's perfect honestly how he got her I'll never understand. But good luck to you and congratulations bro
My dad never respected treating me as an adult. He just saw me as his child. He argued when i told him we were on the same level in adulthood. I haven't spoken to him in years and don't care to. Was this your experience too?
HaHaHaa, you used the words 'narcissist' and 'respect' in the same sentence. Two dynamics that are diametrically opposed, Rebecca. I love your confident communication style.
That reminds me of a story I heard about when the US Liberated the concentration camps. The US wood give out chocolate but instead of the survivors eating it they would save it away not believing there was more and no one would give them more, and even when the service members would tell them if you want more just ask for it and they still didn’t believe them. They continued for a long while whatever they got they would just hide it instead of eating it.
Respect ME. I respect me when I see how far I’ve come and how I enjoyed my live and people who aren’t Narcs. I don’t need to run after and adore the Narc. This is true for a member of my family who thinks taking me out of her will shows me who’s boss. In truth, I don’t need her money, I never wanted it and I finally said I want nothing to do with her will or being executor etc. She finally had to find a way to take me out which didn’t made her look like the bad guy so her perfect friends could feel sorry for her. But, in truth, now, I rarely think of her. My husband notices a profound difference. Respect yourself. The results will be overwhelmingly in your favour. You will see a totally new you. 🇨🇦
The best way to deal with narcissist is making their lives so miserable that they will leave. I had a narcissist supervisor who hated my guts because I was proving him wrong every time. He wanted me to quit so he was almost shouting that he is the best professional and that I am less than him. I set so many traps for him to fall into, that he had to quit because he was looking idiotic and stupid each time. I was sending some dis- informative messages to him through his pet snitches, getting him exited , he came with witnesses each time to " check out what he just discovered". Then when his snitch was telling that I told him I was telling him he is an idiot , they both are. That supervisor had so many times fallen into my orchestrations that the Boss told him to quit or get fired. I always had the last laugh , even if it was costing me some extra effort. But it was worth it. The hardest part was maintaining a straight face while I am all laughing inside.
The absolute best way to deal with a narcissist isn't to walk away from them it's to run as fast as you can and don't ever look back, life is too short to be unhappy and to deal with soul sucking people like that.
Learned the hard way how to regain my power and respect from the narc. Hot and cold they are. Always thinking, plotting planning. No codependency has opened her eyes to my ability to walk away at will.
lol- it’s funny when I think about the way I’ve been doing a pretty damn good job at it! Respect me! I recently discovered the guy I was talking to (after about 4 years, I always kept him “at bay”) was a true narcissist and used social media to over share, humiliate, and then gaslight me even though there was no reason for him to do so. He complained that I “didn’t make him feel like he mattered” because I kept him where he was while I finished figuring out what kind of person he was. I got to know him, stayed friends and slowly let him in - and that’s when he snapped. NARCISSIST!!! Every single sign was there! Thanks to you and Dr Ramani lol❤️
Also, to the single ladies/mothers! I’ve found that the slower I let a man in, the better chances I have of finding a good man. There are a lot of videos you can find about the non-sexual value of a woman, and there is a lot of strength in those videos. Just thought I would add this! Make them respect you!
Unfortunately, we all trip over what is behind us. So many regrets we didn't identify the narc earlier until they've ensconce themselves securely in our lives. My life could have been so different, or would I be attracted to the same type again??
Yup. I decided that it was time for me to change. I was an empath for most of my life. I realized that Narcissist target empaths. So I decided to change. I respect me now. I no longer feel sorry for them. That's how they devour your sacred heart.
Yes! Me to. At age 32 I'm changing into an independent person. I'm a slave for nobody. Being empathetic will get you in trouble. I've had many narcs target me in the past but not anymore.
Gee! Almost every single post in comments is someone giving advice. Y'all are a community of psychologists. I'm glad to be in such erudite company I have a brother who I believe is a narcissist and I can not just kick him out of my life so these hints are helpful to me. I already keep a safe distance and that works best for now. It's good to be reminded about point #5 too. Subscribed.
After the 4 worst years of my life I feel useless. Completely worthless with left with no self respect. Don't know how to get back to even feeling human😢
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I look forward to meeting you there.
@@RebeccaZungEsq bub
Respect me!
@@user-fb8ib1gb9g if you have a close relationship with this girl, she needs to get checked out for disease and pregnancy. Gently let her know he will do this to other girls and may do it to her again and she will never feel peace as she gets older and hasn’t dealt with it. It’s likely someone close to her. Perhaps suggest a compassionate professional counselor she can open up to.
What can someone do if their child is a narcissist?
This sounds like a no win situation. You will end up constantly over thinking every situation. The best advice is walk away and don’t engage.
Lmao 🤣 if only it were that easy! We’d have thought of that ourselves! Lmao 🤣 walk away- she is talking mostly about marriage to one! Every man i know is so cheap that Narc or, not when hurt & angry nearly all husbands WILL cause as much chaos, money as in bills as possible
You can walk away from a person relationship when children aren't involved. But sometimes they are your boss or co-workers or clients.
AGREE!!! Too much overthinking- RUN 🏃🏽♀️
Sometimes you leave and they hound you for the rest of your life, stalking you through flying monkeys. Had this from one since 1997 despite no contact with him since 1997, and a newer one since 2019. If I meet any in the future I'm going to use her advice to avoid more harassment.
Lindsay get real amd grow up
One rule to make a narcissist respect you: Stay away from them.💯
Exactly.
Ultimately that really is the only way. The only people they really respect are the people who absolutely refuse to have anything to do with them. When you know, you go - and the sooner that happens, the better.
Yesss. Yet when it’s your son , my granddaughters, are innocents .I have to not engage with him and his flying monkey posse. Ten years till the girls are on their own. Positive input and keeping all real .
@@goldilocks3593 Exactly ✍🏻My safe word is BYE 👋🏻🤣
Agree!
“Some relationships are like broken glass. It's better to leave them alone than hurt yourself trying to put them back together.”
Yes, but it is not so easy, if it is your own child…….
@@diament2249 Yes, concur with you completely
I think this quote is much more for bf&gf or wife&husbnd types of reltionships you know? I'd most
definitely not ever
recommend you don't try working things out with your Child/Children God bless you & yours ✨☘️🙏
@@diament2249 I am going through this w/both my 1st born (22 yrs old as of 3 days ago) and my very recent ex boyfriend (for a lil over 17 yrs). From my experience w/my son, I know I would have ended up dead or psychologically incapacitated had I not legally removed him from my home before initiating no contact. He just repeatedly takes, destroys, causes me health condition after condition via the never ending stress he causes. I’m disabled and have many chronic conditions. In the 1st 2 years after moving him back hm, I acquired 2 new health conditions. The 3rd year of him being in my hm left me w/a bunch of symptoms that haven’t been ID yet. Also, my lymph nodes have developed growths on them and they swell up even more biweekly- of course they’re the ones that impact my face & jaw n they swell up in front of my ears - behind them and the jaw line. The ever increasing stress he causes (his brother and myself) has made my body assume it’s fighting an infection which is why my lymph nodes swell as they do & where they are-to add insult to injury. It hurts differently when this behavior comes from the person who developed in your womb. The range of emotions faced in trying to protect your other children and yourself from a narcissistic son/daughter is nothing anyone would want to deal with in this way bc your initial instincts of wanting to protect and support can’t be done. Look at it this way, you definitely can’t help anything , especially not help your child while you’re allowing yourself n other members of the family to be exposed to the narcissistic child’s abusive behavior and you’re definitely not helping them by keeping them there. I never thought I’d ever had to remove anyone from my presence but nothing will stop them from wreaking havoc upon their parent and so called significant other. It only gets worse- even when ur under the impression that they can’t cause more than what has already been done❤️🩹. You deserve to be able to parent other children and/or be whatever you are to other people in your life and you won’t have the ability to do so if you don’t remove the source of abuse/misery while you can. I told myself I would give my 1st born until he’s 25/26 years old b4 I take major action bc I was hoping he’d be much better once his brain has reached maturity but there’s no way I would have made it til then and I surely couldn’t allow my other son to keep enduring the madness, disrespect and worsening of everything his brother seemed quite pleased to acknowledge the depth of his toxicity upon each person, the atmosphere of the house and the destruction herein - including my personal and therapeutic items - including appliances 🙄🤦♀️. Positivity replaces the void that was once overflowing w/the negativity of the narcissist once they’re not around any longer. Positive changes will cause more positivity n that will become the norm that will be gr8ly noticeable and appreciated. Both narcissists are out of our lives simultaneously - there was no chance I’d be able to put up w/another narcissist or the same antics of the overdue to be removed narcissist after I finally set boundaries and actually felt the peacefulness that should permeate both one’s home and one’s soul. It’s almost like he knew what was coming w/o me mentioning anything about “us” and that’s bc I was focusing on my son 1st. Naturally, the ex couldn’t be supportive regarding my heavy emotional toll while I was dealing w/the no contact with my son bc I’m sure he made my feelings and my actions done toward my child specifically as if everything was all about him like he always accused me of sending secret messages to him via speaking about whatever was troubling me. 🤮 RUN FROM ANYONE LIKE THIS and you’ll understand the peacefulness I referenced that you’ll never want to give up and that you’ll actually wonder how/when it was when you were capable of giving that up in the first place👍🏽
I don't need their respect. I only need self respect 🙌 💯
Bravo!!!👍❤
BOOM
Amen!!
Yas! 💯
Yes!!!
Learning to love myself, has been the best defense against narcissist..
You’re absolutely right!! And just knowing that I know what’s going on and who you are empowered me to keep going and to find my strength and my voice again and finally start holding him accountable for his actions and not just letting it go because I don’t have the energy to argue with you!! Nope time to take my power back!
Wow I can relate to you ! All the best to you x
To be self assured of yourself, to respect your very own thoughts and feelings, opinions too. 😆
Creating boundaries, and loving myself enough to leave abusive or emotionally unavailable love styles
@@Rollwithit699 that sucks, not totally the same, but my mother was pretty narcissistic, and I was willing to keep her at arms length to preserve my sanity and wellbeing.. Much harder when it's your child, but you can set boundaries with grown children. With my mother not engaging her crazy, was the most effective.
By the way, in my experience only one thing can make a narcissist respect you: ignore them completely. Treat them as they do not exist.
Yep. My narc son-in-law (aka sperm donor) is already dead to me.
effective for me.....😁the only way is indifference...ignore as if they are wall and removed them...soon
The more I ignore my husband or the colder I get, he's actually nicer. I'm not able to leave, but I just want peace and I have to be nasty to get treated somewhat normal! It just sickens me!
@@bridgetrusso4801 , it is sick and sad. I hope one day you will manage to escape, to be able to build healthy relations, based on reciprocity and mutual respect.
True 👌
Why on earth would you want a narcissist to respect you? The only thing you would want is No Contact and move on.
Yep. Was this a PSA to aid Narcissists to receive endless supply?
Sometimes the circumstances are beyond your control. The narcissist could be a coworker or son-in-law, for example. But I absolutely agree if we're talking about a girlfriend or mate who you chose in your life. I don't need their respect, I need them gone.
unfortunately... their are perfect good people who have had a child with a Narcissist person. Because of the children involved... you got 18yr. at least of dealing with the said Narcissistic person.
@@dawnrobbins5877 It doesn't work anyway. They can't respect others, as they think that weakens their standing.
Ive been beaten down over many years. I. Need to respect myself. They can make you feel worthless over time. They can emotionally damage people . im still honest and smart. I got older and got stuck. Im working on a plan.
I don't want a narcissist's fake respect. I'll take my own self-respect over that any day. 🙌
exactly...i agree with you... what you think is the narc's respect will be fake respect, used to lure you in and then backstab you and twist the knife while watching your eyes for your reaction....they feed on emotional distress like demonic vampires...they are psycho
What if it is your sister? Sister is the administrator of the Trust that is close to closing.
YES! The big secret is... that you don't need other people's "respect." Respect is something we have inside ourselves. It's a precious gift that a whole person has for themselves and can give to others. Hollow, angry, malevolent people have no respect within them.
Yes!!! 💯💫🙌
Exactly what I was thinking. Grew up with one, and could care less about what they think of me! Took a while to get there.
You can't "make" them DO or FEEL any certain way. Leave them behind and don't look back. No response is the loudest.
#survivor💜
amen bless youre heart
I prefer sending them to hell. I stay behind, they leave.
Best thing to do with a narcissist is leave them behind.
Leave them lying face down motionless. .......So they can rest.
Lol over simplify! They will stalk, follow, spy, gossip. they never leave you alone!
Very true. The 6 in the video will only keep them close and we don’t want that.
Yes. Have nothing to do with them.
Amen
HEADS UP! THEY WILL NEVER REALLY RESPECT YOU.... THEY RESPECT NO ONE.... NOT EVEN THEMSELVES.
100%
They think inly of themselves. Spoiked brats.
ABSOLUTELY RIGHT
SOMEBODY SPOILED MY HUSBAND ROTTEN. AND WON'T COMPETE WITH THAT CAUSE HE TENDS TO FORGET THE MOST HIGH GOD. DEAL BREAKER FOR ME. THAT'S WHY I GOT MARRIED TO SAY THE LEAST AND HE CANT HANG OBVIOUSLY. IT'S KOOL.. BUT DONT COME LOOKIN FOR ME WHEN I GET GONE. YOU WONT FIND ME
My ex disrespect their company boss until he did not get promotion and the entire team left him suddenly. He told me what a shock for him. I laugh in my heart after so many years of his mental abusive. I told him I forgot all our memories when he tried to humiliate me after we divorced. That’s another shock for him. He quickly find other supply and smear campaign of me. Anyway it doesn’t effects me as I already see his karma.
If you absolutely have to “deal” with a narc, I would recommend to keep firm bounderies, and keep your distance at the same time. As a second choose on how to deal with the narcissist I would recommend keeping firm boundaries and also to correct them every time they missteps, lie, manipulates etz. When your boundaries are not respected by the narcissist, you need to follow through with consequenses of bad behaviour. You will have your hands full going forward this way. When following through with consequenses to their “re”actions, you explain to the narc, that you are not one of the narc`s victims. You have no intentions of becoming one but will be a nuisance to the narcissist in a way that is irritating to him/her. This method is not risk free but narcissists will often choose the path of no or low resistance. This method is a time consuming path to chose. This route sometimes require more time than you would like to spend on these issues. You feel that distancing yourself all together would have been easier. That is however not always possible. Often there is no way to avoid him/her. You unfortunately have to deal with the narcissist because you are colleagues or close family. You must think through what you need the narcissist to respect and what arias of conflict you must pay extra attention to, to keep your integrity and to detect manipulative behavior. Be prepared and clear in your communication and stick to your guns. Try to stay under the radar as much as you can, even when this method is the best for you. A way that works as well is to play along with the narcissist and act like you agree with everything they do and say. This method works well until many people in the narcissists sphere do the same. When everyone agrees with the narcissist you are back on square one. The narcissist must have victims and this setting is no different. To go NO Contact is another good alternative and method, and is probably the best option when it is possible to cut all contact permanently. Additionally, If you’re like me you might want to consider monitoring your partner device it can be done through a variety of methods such as setting up a dedicated app or else you get in touch with this private investigator Metaspyhub@gmail. com that is genuine to make your request done successfully with 100% guarantee.
They will cheat on you while you're working making that money.
I had a coworker years ago put husb in college she worked 3 jobs and yep of course he cheated 🤬Pathetic
@@lovewhitey2027 And they don't even care about the person they are cheating with. Even 5 minutes of getting a high from a stranger is enough to keep them jazzed.
@@jujubean8645 ohhh Im very well aware of these characters 👹
@@lovewhitey2027 Wow! Same experience I had many years ago - the poor woman was putting her husband thru MEDICAL school, and he treated her like CRAP!
@Claire DePaulo of course
I have finally learned , without respect , there is no love. You can not love anything with out respecting it. Really , why would you?
I think about how many years ( out of 61) that I have given my energy to disrespecting creatures. While starving myself from the love & respect of real worthy humans!
Welcome to the world as it should be !! ✨♥️🌎✨
Same.. 🍀🤟 don't stop being kind..
@@trengenius9126 respect me,..ha. hes the only one who can't.
Even the town code enforcer is trying to get him to go away.
Nope. Any suggestions?
I'm in since 15 yrs old, but now my last son is 16½.
He just refuses to leave until he "gets his money"
Ha. Then hell leave!.👃
Suzaanne Morrow it WAS 1/2 of my life. Just turning 66 .....married 24 and divorced 9. I have finally learned!!!
I’m 63 with 33 years living with a narc. Still divorcing for over 3 years. Hard to ever trust again
@@kevinogorman1370 ? Still ?
Mine just plain refuses to leave. Or sign. Or even work now..
Every day pretends he doesn't know what I'm talking about!. Also +30 years.
Hugs!
I really don't need any fake respect from a narcissist.....but at the same time you need to leave them as soon as your able too, expose the narcissist for who they really are (only if it's safe to do so), become a better person physically and financially after them and have no sympathy or mercy on them at any time. 👍
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Yeah?!? NO! Just leave them! They will never respect you. You will never be able to negotiate with a narc. In their psychotic head, they’re always right. Been six years done of the insanity and I still get wound up and upset when I talk about it.
Me too! Ugh
I have a friend who's mother is a narcissist. She's on disability, and is unable to move out until the economy is able to safely open up again....
Same but divorce is tricky business
Yes, my friend of ten years Bar - always thinks he's right "listen to Uncle Barrie and you won't go far wrong". He speaks to me like I am a child! Then it takes great effort for me not to fall into the trap and act accordingly!
I have to get free. He's in Spain most of the time now. Has homes there and in England. He said he wants more than friends. But he doesn't treat me with respect (I don't think he knows the finer points of a relationship) I said to him you don't cherish me and I'm not being a "friend with benefits". So let's just be friends. He said "I want more than that". But he never even buys me a coffee when he returns he expects me to pay as he says "I have two places to run".
We went to the beach on his last visit with a picnic. I took all the picnic and bottle of wine. When I laid out the picnic he said "you're pushing the boat out, aren't you" as though I didn't always pay!
Two weeks earlier I'd gone to beach on our heat wave. But as I had to travel farther than Bar I had no time to go to Waitrose for my food. Bar brought his own and I was ravenous. I asked him for a 🍌 banana, he had two, he had some mandarins, apples and pie. He shouted at me irritably and said I told you to bring your own, now you're asking for mine. He broke off a piece of banana - I refused.
Yet as I mentioned above two weeks later I took a lovely spread even went to get him baps for his burgers as it was the penultimate day before returning to Spain and he'd turned his freezer off before he would leave. He asked me to get him the rolls. I obliged. But actually as I was apalled by his spiteful behaviour I said (for a change,) I'll have half of the money for the wine Bar.
To my surprise he pretended to moan then said "oh alright then". I'd never pushed it before. So maybe I'm partially to blame for being a pushover? I'd had years of cruelty with a narcissistic mother and although I was bewildered and unhappy o did not know exactly what it was now everyone knows what it is.
Why do they want to hurt you & demolish you. What do they gain. To knock you down to raise themselves up? They must be very insecure. Wonder what their reaction would be if you felt sorry for them? Peace ☮️ out
It's a no no situation - I get nothing from it but am still in the game as I have been pre conditioned by having a narcissistic mother & a few in the family, so put up with all kinds of rubbish in an attempt to please and gain approval. Peace ☮️ out.
Yes! Confidence. Be yourself and have your own opinions and don’t be afraid to say NO to them. Show up as you.
yes! :)
I agree I agree those demons don't like no
saying no is easier said than done. it means an hour long argument of them trying to take control this does NOT WORK
It is impossible to make a narcissist respect you, and trying to do so will only put a target on your back labeling you as a threat.
I only want real people in my life not evil vortexes trying to drain my energy.
They steal if you dont button down the hatches mine stole to
@@carolsampson5511 Or if they can't steal it, they will destroy it. "The enemy only comes to steal, kill and destroy....." John 10:10
Agreed! Well said
Yes
👏👏
It does not work in romantic relationship whatsoever ! Unless you singing up for perpetual pissing contest. Sad part is that even when you win , you loose ! Don’t waste your life trying to prove them wrong !
Exactly! Well said. Start planning a safe and quick exit from these types of individuals.
The black holes 🕳 of the cluster disorders.
True. I m doing it right now. What a waste.
True. I wasted 3 precious years with a narc. They’re like a giant vacuum, sucking the emotional, spiritual and physical life out of you. I don’t even want to stay in touch anymore. Cold cuts is what they deserve for dinner.
@@barbarajasso7023 Me too, I'm starting 2 despise his guts.
Dead silence/non-reaction scares narcissists, haters, people who don't respect your boundaries, and people who are jealous/envious of you.
Jealousy can mean a lot of things: rumors, competition, lies. They look down on you. They don’t miss any detail of how you are dressed or how you act, etc. They are always hanging on what others are doing or saying. They are often critical and judgmental. They often reveal things to others. They never have enough of anything; they are never satisfied. They always believe that other people are more fortunate and get everything.
Often they are not creative. In fact, it is common for them to copy others. And they are happy when others fail. There will always be jealous people around you. You will come across them in your friend groups, in your workplace, in your neighborhood, and even in your family. Don’t let yourself be susceptible to this negativity, nor let it bring you down.
The more succesful, happy and alive you are, the more motivation they have to try to break you down. It is no respect that they have it is for their own fuel and a challenge to destroy.
Just ignore them ! Save yourself energy and headache going trough those steps. Rule #1 : they don’t matter !
Stay away from DRAMA.
Period.! Thank you for your insight.
Don't EVER let them see what they have said EFFECTED you...because it shouldn't. They're hurting and want you to hurt.
Affected ?
@@bexsh3207 Yes. It's affected.
Yepp.....HURT PEOPLE..
HURT PEOPLE......
@@user-jr2gb9ou8b
Actually, narcissistic people don't seem to be hurt. They seem to have been coddled and taught that they are worth far more than others. They are filled with pride and arrogance. They look down on everyone else. I have been hurt by people over and over again, and it doesn't make me want to hurt others. It has caused me to have a heart for those who are hurting. Now narcissists, on the other hand, I would like to knock them into next week. They need to feel some pain to know what it feels like. They are assholes of the nth degree.
Total indifference.
Summary for myself:
1. Stay distant from them
2. Stay independent financially and emotionally
3. Continue to have value
4. Be in a condition to have control over them, i.e. a boss
5. Let them believe you aren’t on them
6. Be self assured, confident
In the end: we don’t need them/trash in our life, aren’t we 🤷♀️
my narc said "they're only a narcissist if you fall for it" to the rest of us there just pieces of shit
Yep when you have kids and a job you don't qualify for any assistance it is hard to afford it for 1 and 2 people aren't dependable. Gotta do what we have to until we get to the next point
they lie, they steal- my Cousin used me like a Gas Station potty! she's s MOOCH.
They use steal and lie from family.
i agree good way to look at it ...get rid of the trash in your life today...time to take out the trash...good riddance to bad rubbish
Respect. I have to respect me to walk away.
I'm married to a narcissistic, control freak . After many years of dealing with her ,I've learned one thing .It drives her crazy when I turn the tables and use her methods to foil hers.Only problem is ,now I'm old. Over these years she pretty much destroyed my confidence in myself . I should've had this info years ago . I would've been long gone .
Don't think that way, you don't have to settle. Now that you know, be brave to try and be yourself and love yourself, there are women out there that will be happy to be with you, and have another chance in life. Trust in the Lord and be happy, He knows what is in our heart, you don't have to settle until the end.
I agree with you Ted. I am just realizing I am with a narcissist, I have thought it was my fault why we couldn't be happy. My life and business is tangled up with this relationship, I am older, so I will work on taking care of myself and basically tuning him out. I won't travel with him or plan occasions because it will lead to disappointment. For now I will enjoy my hobbies and friends.
@@greenstrawberry6014 mine told me when he came back after a few years, he didn't know I could be happy with out him and I tokd him, I can't stop living my life , it doesn't revolve around you. I know what makes me happy.
@@edwinasabater6642 that's what upsets them, being happy. There is no limit to happiness, if someone wants to hang with me to have some fun enjoying life, great, but don't drag us down!!
@@greenstrawberry6014 so true.
I myself don't respect narcs, so their opinions of me mean nothing
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Well, you may respect their opinions if you are subordinate to one.
When a person Value is Zero theur opinion means Nothing.
Same here
This! That part💯
I love how you delete all comments that disagree with you! It speaks wonders about you!!!
I don't need anything from a narcissist except, to stay out of my life.
Smart
Amin
Very true
Facts
I agree & they are up to no good gor they raise a lot of red flags.
Why would you want their respect? They're profoundly ill and wholly incapable of having a healthy relationship with * anyone *, family, faux-friends and faux partners. #2 sounds like game playing. Don't engage with them on a personal level, EVER. Zero-sum game.
I love you to pieces and you have helped me through my divorce. My question is simple... Why do we care if they respect us or not. At some point, we have to just respect ourselves.
Good point point there👏🏼👏🏼
Laurie Kuchler,So happy for you
In negotiations it's essential when working on their clients behalf
In my experience, once they know you're onto them, they begin to break off association from you altogether. My father is a prime example. He not only disowned me, but forbids others from talking to me. I moved back home about 10 years ago and was only there for a few months and we haven't spoken really since. It's him more than me. It's actually so bad that he refuses to even given my mail to me. I just found out that a company has been sending me royalty checks for the past 10 years and my father, rather than letting me know, has thrown them away. I contacted my step mother about this, she first called me a liar, and then admitted to keeping several packages sent to me at his address that I didn't know about. And then stated that those packages were gifts from him, to me, and that I was ungrateful. Next level narcissism right there.
I understand the purpose of this video. It's not that you want their respect or value it on a meaningful level, but that you need to maintain a workable relationship with them for some finite duration in order to either work your job or get out of the situation that has bound you to them. I think a good example is when the narcissist is your boss and you're not in a position to move on yet. You will work on finding that next job and the timing to get it, but you will want to be able to work with the narcissist until you don't have to anymore.
There is no way a narcissist will respect you and you don't need their respect either.
Learn quickly that you don't need their respect. You need their absence from your life. The sooner the better.
I'm trying to click the thumbs up button 10 times but it's not available
An outsider would think that's a terrible thing to say, but to those of us who care for a narcissistic elderly parent, it's a true fact, only God can reach the lost and believe me narcissistic people are truly lost .
Also, when they crumble, smile at them sweetly. When they ask for assistance getting up, kindly walk away smiling and ignore the day their momma pushed them out!😎
Excellent advice which I use all the time as an adult. Unfortunately, as a child with a narcissistic parent I had no power to implement many of these 6 things. Instead, I kept to myself as much as possible then left asap. Going no contact made them mad as a bag of frogs and very frustrated. I'm not sure narcissists really respect anyone, but if you set boundaries, stand in your power, become untouchable they are certainly wary of you.
Same happened to me I had a narcissistic mother but the meaning of her sadistic and callous jealousy wasn't apparent to me as a child. I loved her to distraction & was loving, affectionate, and although guarded (she said I never bonded with her or confided in her ---) I was afraid of her black days. She was charming and had everyone think she was wonderful (externally as in out of the house), but in the house she was a devil. Everyone in the extended family spoke of me as the awkward & bad one with issues.
I wanted to clear the air before she died but she said to my brother and a foster girl she took in (Roz Stevenson) that she didn't want to see me either at the hospital or the funeral. I have no concrete evidence of this. There were issues with the so called 'foster girl' and myself (she got quality time my mother building her up and knocking me down) but the comparisons didn't end there. I am wondering if Roz was a narcissist too or how did she work the narcissist in my mother to great effect?
Suffice it to say my younger brother (who dated Roz for three years too) never told me my mother had died until 6 months after she was buried ie after probate for obvious reasons. Then I got a letter saying "this was never going to be an easy letter to write but mother died back in April" this was now September and Roz changed her name by deed poll £25 to claim my inheritance. So I hate to do this speaking badly of anyone but maybe my brother was that way too.
My mother was also a manic depressive. Did her desire to crush me get worse as I came to adulthood. I will never clear the air now, no heart to heart to see why I was never enough and yet some avaricious and manipulative female had power to destroy me. I am aware that mother must take some of blame. She was, ironically, a social worker!
In our village exchanges with a French village we were in Villneuve Sur Yonne and although my French wasn't good I looked forward to it. But in the banquet with the whole village & mayor my mother said at the long table & loudly (as a couple of French people had said I looked very chic!) "I've taught her everything she knows,, she'd be absolutely nothing without me". Etc
I wanted to shrivel up jump in a hole in the ground and die.
So now she's gone I thought I'd be free.... But she still has her hand on my shoulder, I'm still not free & have no way to stabilise myself as I allow more humans (or non humans) to hurt me whilst I bend over backwards attempting to help everyone, solve their problems and love them unconditionally - can someone tell me how to change this ridiculous and ruinous way of living? I'd appreciate the advice as I'm ashamed to admit I am in a similar relationship (or SITUATIONSHIP) for ten years. This following a similar situation, although I escaped that one by default - he died of bone cancer. I am running out of time - help! Any advice? Oh I am estranged from my brother (that foster female is still clinging on like a limpet and she would like my brother back but he is happily married with a child). So, more street cunning than myself she is now his sister! I don't have family backup now. Any advice ???
Peace ☮️ out. SW England
It's unalterably sad (hopefully not) my life now & if I load any more unhappiness on myself it will be like the plimsoll line on a ship - overload until water goes over the plimsoll line and I'm sunk. Peace ☮️ out. SW England
@@christynorman7288 Hi Christy. I really understand how this pain can shape and threaten to overwhelm your life but there is plenty of hope out there. Living in a family dominated by a narcissistic parent is like living in a cult. Your brother (and mine!) are true believers and after the narcissist is dead they will continue to haunt you through their flying monkeys.
Just remember that none of this is your fault or is under your control. You can’t change their ways and you can’t change the past. These people rob us of our childhoods but they can’t rob us of our adulthoods unless we let them. Learn to love, appreciate and parent yourself. Enjoy doing all the little things: I like gardening,sewing,walking my dog,tea with a friend, a weekend break.. doesn’t have to be ‘exciting’ or expensive just a little step towards pleasure and contentment. Finding joy builds self esteem and attracts better relationships. When you are happy and self sufficient you attract healthier people to you.
If you think you’ve been financially exploited, consulting a solicitor is money well spent. They will give you impartial, non emotive advice and will help provide a buffer in dealing with toxic family members. Mine has secured an additional £100,000 this year for me from an inheritance withheld by my family.
Don’t despair. Remember that we are the lucky ones. Our siblings have had their lives prescribed by others. We have free will and get to choose our own destiny.
Ruth Thank you every bit of support helps me - I go up and down like a see saw. I do try so hard to be all things to all people an impossibility no wonder I come unstuck.
I do like doing gardening, sewing Tapestries, walking, cooking, and having tea with friends although I lost a few with the Coronavirus (flu) fiasco. They told me to stay away as I hadn't had a jab. (I can't as I would go in anaphylactic shock) so am much on my own - which is bad news I have loads of time to think and for an analytical thinker it's not the best thing. I appreciate your input. It takes a strange brother to bury my mother and six months later & after probate tell me in a letter about it. I dislike myself as I never see the bad in anyone until I come a cropper.
Well onwards & upwards. Thank you, Christy
SW England 🇬🇧
@@ruthpearsall2618 I feel like a golden retriever who has been badly treated and kept down - someone pat's me on the head and o wag my tail. Regardless of their evil intentions I still respond with love. I obviously am three sheets to the wind!
I've learnt from experience that there's another way to get them to respect you,especially when it comes to respecting your boundaries. First of all, they respect people of few words and who take action instead of making threats or who allow them to drag them down
a rabbit hole. So if a narcissist pushes your boundaries, don't argue or try to reason with them.Give them a FIRM warning and follow through with it. Something like this:"If you don't back off NOW, this is what will happen!" .Then, when they try to drag you into an argument,you start a loud, firm countdown:"ONE....TWO...
THREE....", and if they don't back off by the count of three, you follow through with your warning without flinching or saying anything further. (as long as that action is moral and legal).
Good advice
I gotta work on this one
Should anyone be respected,but why,your only human,you need do something or be someone to be respected,it drives the narcissist,it's a concept that you should figure out,practice being distanced towards them,because they need their narcisstic supply,stay in a place where you feel comfortable,your comfort zone will be needed to feel that you have avoided being annoyed by them,if you value prestige,they need to be attached to it,what could you do for them,do you have money,or are you a celebrity,they need to use that against you to get that narcissist supply,it's actually counter intuitive if your not that type of person,the dynamic has shifted as a result,the balance of power has shifted💥✔️
I'm skipping mediation. The other party ignored me after I reached out twice. Wasting my time. That's it. It's straight to Summary Judgement. I REFUSE to play their mind games when it was THEM who suggested holding a mediation lol.
Yes! I've left mine several times. They don't respect boundaries. I should've called the cops when he was dropped off on my doorstep, but I didn't. It was my son's father. I'm regretting it now! He stole my truck, and is seeking sympathy from my ex boyfriends from 22 years ago! Nobody's believes his shit so he has resorted to calling an ex from 22 years ago to get sympathy. WTH?!!!
Never allow them to pretend to love you....!!!!
The real key to not falling prey to a narcissist-- or any other manipulative type-- is simply not to care what anybody thinks of you. A manipulator's favorite and most effective weapon is to make you CARE what he/she thinks of you-- and if you don't care, the person has no power over you.
Fight narcissism with narcissism? Not caring, isn't human behavior
@@peaknonsense2041 Discernment and knowing what NOT to invest your emotions in when you come up against a narcissist, or any abuser, who will resort to playing mind games and other abusive behaviour, is actually part of common sense human behaviour that serves to protect us from harm.
I’m quite worried that you call this internal intelligence that we actually need to tap into more, narcissism?🤔 For clarity, having the discernment to not engage but distance oneself from emotional conflict, chaos, confusion and abuse is not narcissism.
Also and importantly, you can still love, care and forgive someone from a distance.
@@NickyM_0 Humans aren't "investments".
RULE for #6…”Physical distance makes emotional distance”. Always. Put as much physical distance between you as possible. (For instance, have a 3rd party pick up and deliver children-even if you have to pay someone)!
This is where my opinion differs. I was married to one for 30 years and had a whole family of them. Narcissists respect no one. Either you are a source of supply or you are not. If they don’t bother you it means you are not supply to them not that they respect you. They are jealous and envious of everybody and everything. I don’t need nor want their respect. They can move right along as I won’t be a form of supply for them.
Im with YOU.👍
I agree, they respect nobody
Hear ya!
Narcissist Not respect people, they use people.
Narcissists approach people with supply ( ones with money, popularity, power, connection, influence, good looking, famous, stuff they crave for.) To use it as theirs.
Not as theirs but as you owe them.
Because, healthy people sure care about people or things they have, protect and maintenance them.
Wow, I love these comments. I don't think a narcissist is capable of giving love or respect. They're the most despicable human being there is. They want to be like us and realize that won't happen. Their minds live in the cesspool they created for themselves. After the abuse I've taken from some, I only wish them a life of misery and loneliness, which they end up being.
I recently became a park manager of an senior estates. The only reason I did was to stop the abuse of of previous manager which is a full blown NARCISSIST! The abuse this woman used with the tenants was horrible. She kept a handful of tenants close that she used as her army and still even now that I have taken over she will not stop. It's like a drug to her. I see myself using some of your methods and they work. But being in management I of course am limited to what I can say. I'm not sure how I am going to be able to continue to deal with her. I will continue to watch your videos until I come up with a plan. Also maybe modify some of the comments so I remain professional. Your advice is great and thank you. I really needed your help. I have never had to deal with this from anyone before. It has thrown my brain into LEFT field. The one problem which is the largest is she has about 8 people who are so weak they will go along with her to make the other 54 tenants miserable. So I need to shut her down to a point even they do not have any respect for her and that I believe will change the game.
Wish me luck!
“They are very patriotic to themselves.” This rings so true.
Lol😂Yes. This one was funny.
Move on with your life as if they didn’t exist.
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When I moved on...This narcisstic bitch engaged in black magic and nearly destroyed my love life.
They are highly efficient in the black arts.
Rebecca zung is fortunate and the rest of yourll not to have had this experience!!!!
@@ashchan0504 They are natural "witches"...born that way. See Genesis 3:15 and Psalm 58:3-5. The only way to thwart their spiritual attacks is to be under God's spiritual covering and protection. IF you are fornicating or doing something that goes against His commandments or fall outside His grace, you are open sport for these devils.
These are some smart statements. They do work also in private life.
Narcissist are not (enough) empathic and they hate emotionally weak people, because they don't understand what is going on.
My ex wife smashed one of my prized family heirlooms and then smirked as she saw my heartbroken reaction. That was my AHA moment when I realized it was over.
Cold hearted
Wow! Simply experience. My moment was when my narc husband kept calling me fat and ugly though he was heavier and had no teeth and barely washed, yet I was working out, lost 80 lbs, and got teeth. I realize they wanted me to not feel like I was getting better when I was and so it was evil I sensed and that is when I started see it's time to roll and now I am.
Pray for her, im so sorry you had to go through that. You’ll be better & her Conscience will come through at some point
Recently I was in a play with a narcissistic actress who deliberately sabotaged a scene we were in by skipping over my cue to enter. It was a scene where we both sang, she first and then me but on opening night after I sang I received great applause and standing ovation from the audience!
The next night as I waited off-stage for my line cue to enter, it never came. I couldn't believe it! The actress had completely deleted my scene by skipping to several lines past it! During intermission this actress was crying to the director saying she was so sorry, she didn't know how she could have forgotten my cue line. The director began comforting her but this actress never included me in the apology and when the director walked away this actress smirked at me. I then told the director that the actress, who was a seasoned performer and not one to forget lines, did it on purpose. The director said she found that hard to accept but that if the actress did it again, that there would be consequences. There were 7 more performances and it didn't happen again but I told the director if it did I was going to go onstage anyway and do my song and that the actress would just have to improv to keep the scene going. As I had studied many years with an improv teacher I knew I could make it work and in doing so completely take the rest of the scene away from her. The director may have told her this also. The night this happened I had many friends in the audience who were looking forward to hearing me sing and were appalled when they heard what had happened. As for this actress, I had nothing to do with her from that time on and will never be in another show with her. Although she is an excellent actress and I had always respected her, I no longer did.
When looking back at other plays she had been in, I remembered other incidences that revealed she was a narcissist. But I didn't know about narcissism back then. Now that I do know I am amazed at how many were in my life. Thankfully I have been able to completely break away from several even though these relationships were 30+ years old and how freeing and peaceful it has been since!
😈Demons
I find no emotional satisfaction to have
any personal relationship with a narcissist.
I have found through experience, calling them out on their lies is VERY effective. There will be no need to stay away from them, they will actively avoid contact. Watching them spas out when they come to the realization that someone is on to them is quite entertaining. It also exposes them to others.
It's not always effective to call them out coz some are psychopaths and u could die.
Richard well said! SW England
I have no fears to speak up
I have exposed my narcissist but he then got worse and took revenge, you need to be prepared for the onslaught, the persecute you in ways you never imagined because they have a very dark streak. I have reached the point where i have nothing left to lose so I don't care anymore. I will keep fighting back.
Yep dont need anything from the narcissist. If I did I would grey rock them and only talk business.
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"Have something of value they want" - an argument.
Never fails
Nope
But everytime I argue they block you or set up new Facebook then block you and change their number too
Mine says I didn't give him space even though I gave him a week then two weeks then 6 months to then blasted with he has a girlfriend now into a month of chatting again. We haven't spoken for 3 months after that
I really don't know what his life is
@@joshuamason2729 You don't get it. *We* are the ones that don't want an argument. If your narcissist is ignoring you, consider yourself very lucky and get away/out.
@@joshuamason2729 It sounds like you want the argument and he is trying to get away from that.
I do not care if they respect me or not. I choose to not deal with people like that. They can create their drama elsewhere.
A narcissist will never respect you.
Loving yourself and setting firm boundaries have helped me protect my energy from these vampires.
I'm a 38 year old single father to a son I'm not even sure is mine. (Not that it would even matter to me)
My wife literally tore me down to my core, and even as an empath I lost everything inside of me. I found out she had been cheating for almost 5 years, and my sons 3. She left, and now I'm here to pick up the pieces.
The only thing that keeps me on track is my son.
Remember your self worth. For you and your son.
Distance is the key. For those too close unable to break away, death seems like a viable option. I mean figurative, sometimes even real. Scary scenario with a narcissist.
This real beautiful,female lawyer is extremely smart and wise on the subject.This woman is simply brilliant.
"If God is for us (and He is), who can be against us?" So I don't care what they say and think anymore. I pray them well. God bless them
Yes
Again yes and he is
I'll read the Bible and replace the terms "devil" or "demon" with narcissist... and the characters within the Bible have human faces. Read John 8:44-45. Figure out what race the man was that Jesus was talking to in that verse and start having epiphanies about what race is a race of devils.
@@craigkillmonger7283
Not much difference between the flesh and the devil.
Really just red dragon energy directed at those who are susceptible.
Even Peter. Jesus said, 'Get behind me Satan' (means adversary).
Good intentions are not always correct.
Have to affirm and listen to the Holy Spirit.
A blessing for them would be for them to be sane, stable and in their right mind. And to grow a bit of heart. They are seed on rocky ground...
I had to explain to my son that respect is having consideration for other's feelings.
It doesn't mean you are required to anything they want. You have to have self respect
and not allow being a doormat. Chances are, they disrespect us by having no
consideration for us, and we don't have to take their crap if we don't want to.
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My last neighbor, (moved out, hurray!) was one of those who blasted his music to make the walls shake. When confronted about his behavior, he demanded RESPECT. (what he felt was respect) His idea of respect is for everyone to allow him to do as he sees fit, without being bothered by anyone else's boundaries. He is confusing "respect me" with "fear me".
I commend you for teaching the meaning of respect, we don't need any more neighbors like that 🥂
It is just best to have people around you who are emphatic and high sensetive people. Just cut the toxic people away.
Exactly! Hang around maturely emotional people!
So you're suggesting I engage in their games so they'll respect me? But I want nothing from them and they have no credibiltiy. Seeking respect from a narcissist is like asking health advice from a drug addict or getting financial advice from a conman. This video was well intentioned but missed the mark.
Or like getting health advice from the government and big corporations.......
How did my brother figure all of this out without this great assistance!? Thank you so much.
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I respect myself,and take care of myself,.!
When I got married in 2003, I discovered I was married to one. The mother and sister were even worse. They all worked together to destroy me. It was like being in a viper pit with them slithering around trying to figure out ways they could sink their fangs into me. I despise them. I hope they reap what they have sown.
Geez, I have the exact same story!
Me to I know how that is
I am in this position now. He, his mother and sister all doing just as describe. They have coffee clutches in the mornings to plot their next evil deed. I am on my way out and literally dream of my new life where the old black snakes in the grass no longer exist.
@@karenrussell1422 Getting out is the best thing you can do for yourself!
@@karenrussell1422 yes, these people gossip and slander a lot. They also meditate to believe in their own lies. They never look for truth.
Respect me. Financial and emotional independence. Being weak in those areas at times is when the narcs have danced all over me. Thanks, Rebecca. Learning so much from your vids.
Belinda Hughes,You are looking good,I hope you are not with a narcissist!!
Belinda Hughes,Hope you are not with a narcissist 😈!
No Contact! That's the goal, but until then, I am being "nice".
I don't think the "respect me" phrase works with the malignant narcissist, because they just lash out in harmful ways! I cannot wait to get out of here.
They couldn’t find any respect for me until they saw how fast I was at packing up and moving away.
My nex was in shock when he entered his home: I leave him in 3 hours (packed ALL my personal things/furnitures etc) when he was at work and moved out. Then I did NO CONTACT.
We where a couple in 12 years (of abuse from him) and I planned it very well in secret for several months.
For me I do NOT want his respect = I do not care at all what he think or do.
@@detjaggillar8081 - Don’t worry about what the narcissist thinks about you, they don’t. They are only thinking about themselves. Is “nex” short for “narcissist ex”? Because if that wasn’t on purpose it should have been.
@@boxelder9167 "NEX" is Narcissistic Ex combined.
@@reesedaniel5835 - I have noticed that they tend to go together. 😁 Thanks for confirming that though because I have been hearing it used more frequently.
As a child I always kept a "straight face" never showed my emotions, especially if something made me happy. Never look happy, they hate to see you happy. They have no real respect for anybody. Call ir respect, but its a mask
"Invisible child" is a role in a narcisistic system. There's some great videos to help heal from concealing a true identity in order to protect from narcisistic abuse. Other roles include scapegoat, golden child and handmaid.
I hope you heal well. The best of life is yet to come!
Yeah I was assaulted just for smiling once. What are you so happy about he asked. They have to control and manipulate EVERYTHING you are not entitled to your feelings same if I was upset he would disapprove and tell me I should act happier. Whatever you do or feel is wrong according to them to destabilize you. I had been independant for years prior to him so my self esteem was good and I talked back which he hated self assured types are not as easy to manipulate.
I'm Always Happy now its time to F the Nac back
This is wild. I agree
Get away from that person. I do not care if it is your own mother!
My narc is challenged me in court three times and lost all three times. The control that I have over her is that I could put her in jail without too much effort and could care less if she shares pictures of me that I shouldn't have given her. Kind of proud in a way
3 times? Damn. She is hella vindictive. You touched on a very good point. The guy I was dealing with knows that I am confident and do not care if he talks bad about me to people so he doesn't have any leverage.
This helped me make sense of what wasn’t making sense! I always had more questions than answers being with this guy. On point, all of it!
Tina Pietrangelo,I hope you are not with an abusive man!!
@@jamesarmstrong4179 absolutely not, I’m with a commitment phone man, who is coming around because I made it very clear what I wanted and he was free to do what he wanted. I walked away for a period of time until he could answer my questions and he has come back being the man I knew he could be. As an Aries, we don’t get abused and appreciate you reaching out and checking up on me!
@@tinapietrangelo7486 Welcome. I am James,you?
@@jamesarmstrong4179 I’m Tina James, Nice to meet you
@@tinapietrangelo7486 Same here.Are you on Hangouts or Gmail so we can often talk?
A narcissist is never going to respect anyone, imho. They may back away when you're coming from a solid position of strength...like when an ex wouldn't leave me alone after the divorce-- so I threatened to let someone know that he had an illegal working for him under the table. (It was pure self preservation, and it worked.) And secondly, if you just flatly refuse to give them any supply. And they are tricky-- so they will try a myriad of ways to make you react and bring you to heel.
Yes one of their favorite go to tactics is to "accidentally" break or destroy something of yours that's very sentimental or very expensive. Another favorite is to cause a death in the family (via their evil witchcraft and abusive tactics). A death of someone who was not a narc. If you notice in these narc infested families, there comes a point in time when every single non narc is DEAD and only the narcs and flying monkeys remain (the Scapegoat usually has left the scene at this stage). The non narcs who stayed and never really woke up to the demons around them are sucked dry of life forces and deceased.
You are you saved my life today my wife has lied and disrespected me for years I’m done being a victim and pretending I believe the lies and being called crazy I’m done thank you you freed me
6. Distance
5. Independence
4. Healthy, balanced self respect
3. Maintain authority over their interest
2. Let them believe you're not onto them
1. Be self assured
I disagree with your comment about the narcissist respecting Judges. I’m in a drawn out and toxic divorce with a highly successful litigation lawyer. He has breached many Court Orders (without repercussion) and takes the attitude that no one will tell him what to do.
My narcissistic sister is teasing me by saying she is moving out. I am ready to move her out! Freedom may be near!
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This is good , I definitely understand that hierarchy of supply, and start to see what they'll really fighting for.
After no-contact, they can keep their respect to themselves. 🙃🙂
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@@confirmedbydharmann3544 oky
@@muhsinfurnituresengineerin4839 hey, is that a robot 🤖 above, or someone using her profile specs as facade ?
Or it's Rebecca Zung for real??
My dad is a narcissist, just this year that I am 44 years old I was able to tell him to treat me with the same respect I always treated him. I asked him not only to notice negative things about me but also the positive ones, which I believe there are many more. I felt relieved, and he never apologized but I know it was shocking to him and it worked somehow because I feel more empowered now when I deal with him.
Mine too I am now learning more. I have asked him why he does these things to me and I cite a few times he has. His response was to accuse me of dredging in the past and says that's unhealthy. Then he went around to other family members and said I have "issues". You can't win with a narcissist because they have been practicing all their lives how to derail anyone that is on to them. They will up the stakes and make it worse. There will be consequences.
@@RiverVmanna good for you that’s amazing
My dad was kind of like that too bro. He died within the last year and I don't miss him at all. But I got to tell him exactly what I thought of him so there was no ambiguity of any kind. He was completely delusional to say the least but I wasn't going to let him die and not get that off my chest. I'm glad you got your respect back and did what you needed to do I did the same thing. I'm more of a violent type that doesn't let anybody do that kind of thing and the only reason he got away with it is cuz he was my father and as early as my twenties I realized that there's nothing he can do about it besides get his ass kicked if he messes with me. I probably should have beat his ass once or twice but there would be no point to taking out a guy and his condition. Not to mention it would have really hurt my mother and she's perfect honestly how he got her I'll never understand. But good luck to you and congratulations bro
My dad never respected treating me as an adult. He just saw me as his child. He argued when i told him we were on the same level in adulthood. I haven't spoken to him in years and don't care to. Was this your experience too?
They never apologize!! I'm glad yours was a better way to understand
I have a brother that is text book narcissist..I had to learn to love him from afar. Distance is the only way to keep the relationship.
HaHaHaa, you used the words 'narcissist' and 'respect' in the same sentence. Two dynamics that are diametrically opposed, Rebecca. I love your confident communication style.
Everytime I don't call them out part of me dies not my ego - my self respect.
Integrity may not be their kryptonite, but it is what keeps honest people going.
That reminds me of a story I heard about when the US Liberated the concentration camps. The US wood give out chocolate but instead of the survivors eating it they would save it away not believing there was more and no one would give them more, and even when the service members would tell them if you want more just ask for it and they still didn’t believe them. They continued for a long while whatever they got they would just hide it instead of eating it.
I feel better knowing what I know about them ,and having as less contact with a NARRCCISST as possible.....
Respect ME. I respect me when I see how far I’ve come and how I enjoyed my live and people who aren’t Narcs. I don’t need to run after and adore the Narc. This is true for a member of my family who thinks taking me out of her will shows me who’s boss. In truth, I don’t need her money, I never wanted it and I finally said I want nothing to do with her will or being executor etc. She finally had to find a way to take me out which didn’t made her look like the bad guy so her perfect friends could feel sorry for her. But, in truth, now, I rarely think of her. My husband notices a profound difference. Respect yourself. The results will be overwhelmingly in your favour. You will see a totally new you. 🇨🇦
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🇨🇦❤️🇨🇦❤️
The best way to deal with narcissist is making their lives so miserable that they will leave. I had a narcissist supervisor who hated my guts because I was proving him wrong every time. He wanted me to quit so he was almost shouting that he is the best professional and that I am less than him. I set so many traps for him to fall into, that he had to quit because he was looking idiotic and stupid each time. I was sending some dis- informative messages to him through his pet snitches, getting him exited , he came with witnesses each time to " check out what he just discovered". Then when his snitch was telling that I told him I was telling him he is an idiot , they both are. That supervisor had so many times fallen into my orchestrations that the Boss told him to quit or get fired. I always had the last laugh , even if it was costing me some extra effort. But it was worth it. The hardest part was maintaining a straight face while I am all laughing inside.
The absolute best way to deal with a narcissist isn't to walk away from them it's to run as fast as you can and don't ever look back, life is too short to be unhappy and to deal with soul sucking people like that.
Learned the hard way how to regain my power and respect from the narc. Hot and cold they are. Always thinking, plotting planning. No codependency has opened her eyes to my ability to walk away at will.
I think the point of the video is selfprotection. If you have no other option then dealing with them, you have to make them respect you.
lol- it’s funny when I think about the way I’ve been doing a pretty damn good job at it! Respect me!
I recently discovered the guy I was talking to (after about 4 years, I always kept him “at bay”) was a true narcissist and used social media to over share, humiliate, and then gaslight me even though there was no reason for him to do so. He complained that I “didn’t make him feel like he mattered” because I kept him where he was while I finished figuring out what kind of person he was. I got to know him, stayed friends and slowly let him in - and that’s when he snapped. NARCISSIST!!! Every single sign was there!
Thanks to you and Dr Ramani lol❤️
Also, to the single ladies/mothers! I’ve found that the slower I let a man in, the better chances I have of finding a good man. There are a lot of videos you can find about the non-sexual value of a woman, and there is a lot of strength in those videos. Just thought I would add this! Make them respect you!
@@punk.rock.hippie Great advice! Also - like the song says - Respect yourself!
@@coriander3170 yesss!!! That’s right!
Unfortunately, we all trip over what is behind us. So many regrets we didn't identify the narc earlier until they've ensconce themselves securely in our lives. My life could have been so different, or would I be attracted to the same type again??
Yearning for narcissist respect? Lol i think not.
Respect Better than love Learned from a narsssssssssssss You are so helpful Dropping nars patients and growing Aloha Dr Donna
Dr Donna Skerry,Hope you are not with a narcissist….
RESPECT ME,BUDDY Don't deplete my energy, thank you😎
Yup. I decided that it was time for me to change. I was an empath for most of my life. I realized that Narcissist target empaths. So I decided to change. I respect me now. I no longer feel sorry for them. That's how they devour your sacred heart.
Yes! Me to. At age 32 I'm changing into an independent person. I'm a slave for nobody. Being empathetic will get you in trouble. I've had many narcs target me in the past but not anymore.
@@jcbanbury True, being empathetic is good but also be a cold blood destroyer if needed
Lol i say that “ josh-Thornton ‘ have please do have that RESPECT from me!
I don’t need his respect, I just need my freedom💃🏼. Can’t seem to break free!!
Gigi,You don’t need a narcissist in your life!
This seems like solid, practical advice for the workplace or basically anywhere except in an intimate relationship.
Gee! Almost every single post in comments is someone giving advice. Y'all are a community of psychologists. I'm glad to be in such erudite company
I have a brother who I believe is a narcissist and I can not just kick him out of my life so these hints are helpful to me. I already keep a safe distance and that works best for now. It's good to be reminded about point #5 too. Subscribed.
After the 4 worst years of my life I feel useless. Completely worthless with left with no self respect. Don't know how to get back to even feeling human😢
I feel the exact same way right now, it’s been 5 years and I feel like I have been drained of every emotion I once had and financially!
You will heal. Give it time. Hugs.