I Was an Influencer. It Was the Worst Experience of My Life.
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 23 ม.ค. 2024
- Today I see many people who want to be an influencer. I think this is only because people don't really see or understand the reality of being one. Being an Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, or twitter "influencer" can be one of the worst experiences for people who value their mental health, relationships, self-image, or even just sanity. In this video i talk about my experience being an influencer, and why i decided to quit. While many people are now deciding to quit social media altogether, being an influencer takes the problems faced on these platforms to a whole other level.
xtra tag :P
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Sorry I look so disillusioned in the video, I realized while filming that talking about this time is actually kinda traumatizing because of how negative those days were.
I originally wasn't even going to make a video about this, but i think its important for people who might want to be an influencer to know what its like.
Hope you all enjoy
This is not the type of content that I usually watch but for some reason it really resonated with me even though I'm not an influencer. You seem like a very genuine and kind hearted soul. Keep following the path that's most true to you, you're an inspiration!
Thank you so much! 🤲🏻
I wasn't an influencer but I had a micro following on YT while growing up as a teen, during the time when barely anyone was making YT videos. I loved creating content & being connected to other small growing channels & collaborating, it was like every moment my dreams from childhood were coming true even with a small community, I had fanart made of me, it gave me confidence to do things I wouldn't normally do without a camera, and I enjoyed entertaining people and was deadset on it becoming my job one way or another - one time a kid came up to my wide open window and asked if I made videos and that he recognised me. Then I effectively had a stalking situation I couldn't get out of, because someone from my own school would follow me around threatening me with insults while begging to make more of the videos that he wanted to see. I ended up dating someone who had a parasocial relationship with me.. And then a friend I made confessed that they started wanting to be my friend through seeing my content and thinking that if they could hang out with me maybe they'd be as happy as I appeared in these videos (I was borderline depressed & I wondered how many people really thought that the character I portrayed was 'me'), and it genuinely stung to realise if I continued, these aspects I already felt affected by of being a content creator could only exaggerate. I ended up with this weird trauma that I feel like I can't talk about with anyone in my life because it doesn't sound so terrible to them, a fear of accidentally becoming famous in the digitalised age. It feels extra absurd because creating is my life-force but I don't want to re-live these experiences. Thanks for making this video!
Hi- thanks for commenting!
I know EXACTLYY what you mean about “weird fear of blowing up” but not feeling like you can complain bc people will think you are bragging or something. I had multiple accounts after I deleted my larger ones that blew up over and over because I was chronically online & so social with everyone lmao. I ended up deleting them again because once you have the experience of all that attention you don’t really want it anymore. I actually went out of my way to not post for a couple years/ be online because I just didn’t want to feel that pressure again, So I get it!
@@Sagethis It's so healing to hear your experience.
I feel this in my soul
Thank you for sharing your experience!! Im a mom of tween kids and it’s really important that so many of you who are still so young but have already been through this stuff is incredibly important so we don’t keep repeating our mistakes.
This is the kind of 'content' that should go viral! So many valid and true points made. Good for you for breaking free of it and using the apps for something positive. You should do lectures in colleges etc!
Man, I really appreciate your honesty. And also, the authenticity. As you said, most people will just go for more and more when they're in a bad situation, hoping it will make it good at some point. Your videos are truly inspirational and I'm really grateful for them and their high quality in value. Recently it just quite often happens that topics in your videos mirror similar experiences I'm going through. You had some really good pieces of advice that I will take with me.
So happy to hear, thanks for the comment ❤️❤️
I came across you by chance but had to sub because you’re such a genuine soul. I can relate to a lot of what you said in the video. I’ve personally dealt a lot with bullying, abandonment, homophobia, and racism in my childhood because unlike you, I wasn’t always uplifted by the world around me. I had a rough past that I desperately wanted to separate myself from. I wanted to be someone like you, because everything just seemed to come so easy to those who are privileged, and so I devoted a lot of time and effort into being super attractive and charming. It was only then when the world seemed to care so much more about me, constantly validate me online, and treat me better than I ever had experienced before, but it also came at a cost of what I valued.
My self worth became attached to my looks and how others felt about me, more so than all the things I love about myself as a person. I’ve been dealing with depression and anxiety from unresolved traumas in my past, and as a result I’ve been losing a lot of weight, and look tired from chronic insomnia. The sad thing is that I cared more about how this has been affecting my appearance than my wellbeing because I’ve been so afraid of being treated like I’m worthless again. Like you, I had to delete all my social media to focus on my healing because it was all just too much pressure. Thank you for being so honest about your experiences 💙
Your channel randomly popped-up on my feed and I`m currently binging it. You create great, engaging and informative content. I`m glad that you got off social media and are doing more mindful content. It feels like that was the right way for you. Destiny maybe... keep the great work!
I agree! I always say if I was every to be a content creator i definitely WOULD NOT make it my ONLY/MAIN source of income! And it will be catered to self-improvement and mental health. The amount of times I see content creators turn into toxic peole/ reveal their true colors disturbed me.
Im not going to lie, I used to have an eye candy crush on one "influencer".(On a healthy, respectful level. I got my own life to live.) on this nice looking influencer and he seemed kind and intelligent UNTIL his account grew and started to create content on his looks and women (Originally, it was about his cultural background and education on that) BUT he honestly lost my respect when he ignores his viewers comments that cannot/chose NOT to subscribe to his team account on tik tok (He gets very snappy when he doesn't win a tik tok battle). It turned me off COMPLETELY especially when he said "I can get any girl if i wanted too"
They literally turn into narcissists. Its sad and I sort of feel remorse for them.
Thank you for being so honest. This is a really important conversation and more people, especially the younger generations, should watch this. I've watched a few "exposing the reality of influencers" type of videos, and yeah "pretty privilege" is all they had. A lot were extremely miserable in real life and just fake as hell. I'm always glad when people reveal their real and unfiltered bodies, skin, and lives in general. I no longer follow most celebrities or obviously fake people because it's just all so toxic and negative. People just arguing in the comments about absolute bullshit too. Things they're just projecting and wouldn't dare to say to anyone in real life.
It’s always so cathartic watching your videos :) This one and the latest one about fame really resonated deeply with me. As someone who had trauma and insecurities, wanting to escape that and be loved and adored by people on the other side of the world from me was a big goal that I would regularly daydream about, and still kinda has been for the past 6 years since I started struggling from mental health issues, that are quite common for teens nowadays. This is very much a cautionary tale to me, so thank you for sharing your experience
This is brilliant commentary. The pretty privilege discussion is so smart. You’re right, it’s not like “oh pretty people are the real victims”… haha NO. But you’re so right about the degradation of everything being about looks & how that ultimately brings even more emptiness.
I have tween aged kids and I’m saving this video for when they inevitably have this struggle online. You really speak SO much truth here.
You have so much to offer as a person and I’m really thankful you’re sharing your experiences here. It’s really important for the younger generation to hear from someone like you. I don’t feel old, but according to my kids I grew up with dinosaurs so sometimes what I say doesn’t get through 😂
I hope you don’t delete this one!! It’s so impressive how you took that loneliness you experienced and really dove deep to figure that out within yourself. It’s so easy to just keep doing that same thing, keep thinking the success will bring happiness eventually, keep numbing yourself to your true feelings. You are super inspiring, and even for myself in my own career life. ❤
thank you so much for being this open
obsessed with your vids! wishing you allll the success ❤
Haha I don't say this to people cuz i understand that's not how friendships work, but we should be friends. I don't have enough deep people in my life and almost everything you say resonates with me a lot!
Thank u for the insight 👁️✨
This is important conversation
bein a liddle ugly is gr8 bc all you have is your word your peace and your kindness.
I personally don’t believe in the existence of “ugly” but I get what you mean.
This sounds weird but growing up I would *purposefully* make friends with the “outcast” or “bullied” student (also prob because we were raised Christian and told that whole thing abt “wwjd” lmfao) but even in adulthood I notice I actively avoid “attractive” people or people who seem to value vanity. I just instinctively feel they aren’t genuine or “spiritually developed”
I find comfort & am inspired by people who reject conventionality or who “don’t follow the crowd”
@@Sagethis oh dude I hella get that. I don’t trust those vain kinds of people bc it’s in their adopted nature to take in energy and not need to reciprocate it.
It’s nicer to not chase that high bc it truly isn’t fulfilling at all.
Yo bro i really like you and your energy and for all the people here i want to share something with you. I wanted to be famous all my life because my parents didn’t give me the appreciation that I wanted. I was searching for this attention and love in all the wrong places. I was going to clubs ,I was using drugs. The facade that I was keeping was like a really confident guy but inside I was like a little insecure child. So one day the devil came to me and gave me a deal to make me famous. I’m being for real. I always was a spiritual guy, but I believed in energy and not so much in the biblical stuff. So I accepted the deal but then my life became trash. I was having this nightmares and my life became so much more demonic that it was before and then Jesus came into my life. So I just want you to know guys that this void that we all have in us as humans can only be filled with the love of God. I’m not religious at all but it’s about a personal relationship with our Creator. ❤️🔥❤️🔥⚡️
you the best fr
What's your opinion on social media yet? Do you regret the thought of being some influencer?
I actually just made a video about social media but I genuinely think social media (coupled with corporate greed) is *literally* destroying our society, institutions, & democracy. I seriously worry daily about the collapse of American Democracy & the world becoming destabilized from online division & the real possibility of WW3 breaking out.
I know that’s a pretty heavy answer lol but social media is an incredible tool that is magnifying division, misinformation, foreign interference, & depression in ways never before possible.
The short answer to your question would be: I don’t like it & I deleted it all 3 months ago 😂
@@Sagethis thanks for your response. I feel to that we as humans don't can find peace in this "new world"
@@kleinesalaska666 I fear that this is only the beginning of something much worse at times. Our technology was always predicted to radically reshape society and I'm starting to think we are seeing that "reshaping" today.
I hate it and I'm probably to uninstall Instagram permanently for good tomorrow and I'm probably going to Uninstall messenger soon as well
@@Sagethis we are seeing a degeneration
You used to be tumblr famous