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@@dogbot55 I know, I didn't think it was a real thing until I looked it up- "Gemology is the science of studying, cutting, and valuing precious stones, but the essence of gemology is in identifying the gemstones. One who works in the field of gemology is called a gemologist"
@@iwannaseehowlongyoucanmakethis Google tells you everything you need to know-"As nouns, the difference between geology and gemologist is that geology is the science that studies the structure of the earth (or other planets), together with its origin and development, especially by examination of its rocks while gemologist is an expert in gemology."
I just want to give props to whatever person did the interrogation room edit. It was only a few seconds but holy shit they did a good job and it was hilarious.
The main selling points for the chakra one seem to be: - you’re able to gain energy from the land - you’re able to clean other people’s boobs of bad chakra - you’re able to OBLITERATE YOUR FOES WITH BEAMS OF HEAVENLY LIGHT I don’t know about you but I’m sold.
Gem regurgitation is so underrated nowadays...This magical technique was commonly used in the Italian renaissance to feed baby dragons or even fully grown gargoyles, later to be used in cathedral building and fountain decoration.
Don't forget the power to literally sever people's souls from their bodies and turn them into husks and the ability to, with enough practice, generate beams of raw esoteric energy capable of glassing planets. Honestly if all you need to become a literal god amongst men is to just relax your chakras and give them regular bath times, I'm totally down for them.
So now we can agree that there is - Conventional Medicine - Traditional Medicine - Alternative Medicine - EXTREMELY Alternative Medicine and then there is goop.
About Braco... As the two men sit by the ocean together, gazing out to the horizon, Prokic took off all of his trademark gold jewelry (which he was never seen without) and his wallet and placed them onto the sand beside him. Moments later, a rogue wave emerged from the belly of the South African shoreline and swallowed Prokic, leaving Braco intact and his jewelry and wallet unscathed. Braco’s Wikipedia page at one point stated that Prokic’s body was found, and had “multiple gashes in the lower abdomen.” At least, this is the story as told by Braco himself, while the consensus seems to be that Prokic died “under suspicious circumstances” and has been left at that. Totally an accident...
You look at the audiences of these "healers" and it's always two groups: The elderly, and the desperate. These con artists are predators, preying on the weak and the easily misinformed. And it's nearly impossible to get rid of them.
@@ChimpFromSpace if you were in a state literally covered in human crap that still costs as much as a new car to live in for a year, youd be pretty desperate
@@sterkriger2572 but you dont because your not scum like these people, unless you wanna collab on a new fake religion like scientology where we con them into confessing all the awful stuff theyve done and use it to make them work for us and we use their connections to further our cause i could get in on the ground floor for one of thoses
You could totally organize these four guys into the world's most useless hero team. You've got: The Regurgitator, Shiny Man, Goku, and the Uncomfortably Leering Man.
Omg you're rright - they've just split the DBZ fighting tropes into individual people. Uncomfortable noises, glowing power, ki energy, and intense stares.
I want a jeweler in one of those sessions to be handed one of those "gems" (they'd have to really clean it) and to begin examining it, then pull a real jewel from their pocket to be compared. It'll likely change nothing for those latching on to this fraud as some very gross diety (you've taken a very wrong turn in life and hit rock bottom when a guy who spits up plastic gems is your idol), but the thought of causing him some embarrassment would be joyous to me.
Hello my friends, I hope you can help me. I beg you because of my harsh circumstances and the death of my husband. My daughter and I live in miserable conditions, but my problem is that you are engaged and her marriage is close, I swear to you, I do not want to shame her in front of her husband's family.
3 years would mean it only started a a little over a year before Covid got big basically, definitely feels a couple years older than that but time got wibbly wobbly
JESUS KNOCKS ON YOUR HEART AND LONGS FOR YOU TO ANSWER! HE DOESN'T WANT TO SEE ANYONE PERISH INTO HELL. GOD LOVES YOU SO HE GIVES YOU FREE WILL AND A CHOICE TO ACCEPT HIM OR REJECT HIM. TO LOVE HIM OR TO LOVE SIN/THIS WORLD. CALL UPON JESUS & ASK HIM TO FORGIVE YOUR SINS! SURRENDER YOUR WILL & YOUR LIFE TO HIM & HE WILL GIVE YOU ETERNAL LIFE IN HEAVEN! PICTURE YOUR BEST DAY ON EARTH TIMES A BILLION FOR ETERNITY, THAT'S HEAVEN! NOW PICTURE YOUR WORST DAY ON EARTH TIMES A BILLION FOR ETERNITY, THAT'S HELL! HE WILL GIVE YOU WHAT YOU WANT SO IF YOU REJECT HIM YOU WILL BE SEPARATED FROM HIM & HIS BLESSINGS (LOVE, PEACE, JOY, HOPE, REST, ETC). IN HELL YOU WILL BE ALONE WITHOUT GOD OR PEOPLE... YOU WILL BE HOPELESS, IN DESPAIR & AGONY FOREVER! GOD'S STANDARD FOR HEAVEN IS PERFECTION AND ONLY JESUS (THE SON OF GOD/GOD IN THE FLESH) LIVED THAT PERFECT LIFE! HE LAID DOWN HIS LIFE & TOOK THE WRATH OF THE FATHER ON THE CROSS FOR YOUR SINS! GOD IS JUST SO HE MUST PUNISH SIN & HE IS HOLY SO NO SIN CAN ENTER HIS KINGDOM OF HEAVEN. IF YOU ARE IN CHRIST ON JUDGEMENT DAY GOD WILL SEE YOU AS HIS PERFECT SON (SINLESS SINCE YOUR SINS ARE COVERED BY JESUS' OFFERING). YOU CAN ALSO CHOOSE TO REJECT JESUS' GIFT/SACRIFICE & PAY FOR YOUR OWN SIN WITH DEATH (HELL) BUT THAT SEEMS PRETTY FOOLISH! GOD SEES & HEARS EVERYTHING YOU HAVE SAID & DONE. YOU WONT WIN AN ARGUMENT WITH HIM & YOU CANT DEFEND ANY OF YOUR SINS TO HIM. YOU'RE NOT A GOOD PERSON, I'M NOT A GOOD PERSON... ONLY GOD IS GOOD! WE'RE ALL GUILTY WITHOUT ACCEPTING JESUS' SACRIFICE FOR OUR SINS! MUHAMMAD DIDN'T DIE FOR YOUR SINS, BUDDHA DIDN'T DIE FOR YOUR SINS, NO PASTOR/NO PRIEST/NO SAINT/NO ANCESTOR DIED FOR YOUR SINS, MARY DIDN'T, THE POPE DIDN'T EITHER, NO IDOLS OR FALSE gods DIED FOR YOUR SINS, NO MUSICIAN OR CELEBRITY DIED FOR YOUR SINS, NO INFLUENCER OR TH-cam STAR DIED FOR YOUR SINS, NO SCIENTIST OR POLITICIAN DIED FOR YOUR SINS, NO ATHLETE OR ACTOR DIED FOR YOUR SINS! STOP IDOLIZING & WORSHIPING THESE PEOPLE! JESUS CHRIST ALONE DIED FOR YOUR SINS & WAS RESURRECTED FROM THE GRAVE! HE IS ALIVE & COMING BACK VERY SOON WITH JUDGEMENT (THESE ARE END TIMES)! PREPARE YOURSELVES, TURN FROM SIN & RUN TO JESUS! HE KNOWS YOUR PAIN & TROUBLES, HE WANTS TO HEAL & RESTORE YOU! TALK TO HIM LIKE A BEST FRIEND! ASK HIM TO REVEAL HIMSELF TO YOU & HELP YOU TO BELIEVE IF YOU DOUBT! DON'T WAIT TO CRY OUT! NO ONE IS PROMISED TOMORROW! HE LONGS FOR YOU TO INVITE HIM IN, HE LOVES YOU MORE THAN ANY PERSON EVER COULD, HE CREATED YOU! Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me."-John 14:6 "But whosoever shall deny me before men, him will I also deny before my Father which is in heaven."-Matthew 10:33 “For the wages of sin is death (hell), but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord”-Romans 6:23
Surprised Jon didn't mention the "rogue wave" that swept away Braco's mentor when the two were alone on a beach in South Africa, leaving behind only his jewelry and wallet.
Must have been an ectoplasmic wave - it left behind the jewels and money and was totally BS. It's got all the signs of either a GHOST WAVE or BS. Probably ghosts.
I'd just like to share this line from the Braco Wikipedia page: "Believers claim Braco's physical presence is not necessary, and gazing at a picture or video of him can be sufficient for healing"
It’s true!!! Just from watching this video that had footage of him, I no longer need my 16th surgery!! My thyroid also healed, my acne cleared up, and my ovaries are no longer cystic!!!!
an assemblage of molecules consisting of the elements hydrogen and oxygen sometimes abbreviated by the symbol h2o did proceed to usher forth from mine visual orbs in a sudden and most peculiar manner
I understand the last one. People who are extremely desperate or depressed or loooking for meaning in their lives will put meaning on something such as someone staring at you with an innocent expression. They are crying because they feel like that dude gets them because they are putting that projection onto him. The dude literally doesn't have to do more than look at people the right way and the crowd will do all the work for him.
i feel like the braco thing can also be applied to that robotic cleaner arm that tiktok never shut their traps about. it’s the one where like 50% of the app are actually crying over the arm because of the meaning they crafted and projected onto the robot, while the other half is like “dude… it’s an arm that sweeps red water, tf is there to be depressed about??” at least with braco, you’re actually staring into the eyes of an actual human and the projections you put onto this guy make sense; with the arm, you’d just look silly.
I feel like I saw a social experiment or something where they had strangers on the street make prolonged eye contact without speaking and some of them cried or at least got emotional. I think it's probably a normal reaction for some people to feel an emotional connection, the sad part is them assigning all this extra powrr/meaning to one specific guy, rather than just humanity in general.
Well yeah, if your apprentice can't kill you after you've taught him everything you know then you probably picked the wrong guy. Darth Braco did it, he's the real deal.
@@wilmagregg3131 No no it's fine, clearly the master turned into light and braco stared at the light so hard that he warped through time and came back with a stomach full of gemstones
I've actually been to a live Braco erm, show. Can't remember how, but went for shits n giggles. His skill is impressive, no matter how hard I tried, I always blinked first.
@@errortryagainlater4240 We've reached a point where we compare emotions to emojis, the thing that inspired them in the first place. What a recursive dystopia.
From Braco's website: "For pregnant women we advise to only join the gazing sessions until the end of the third month of their pregnancy." Can't be too careful...
_Inb4 some rainbow-haired weenie with more pronouns on their blue checkmarked twitter bio than braincells cries foul and tries brigading Raid as istaphobic for having Jon as a playable character despite the dev studio originating from Israel (no, really, look it up.)_
that bit with them unveiling he still image of braco to a crowd of people staring intently felt like an excerpt from a horror film about a dystopian future where we've all been brainwashed ala 1984
the interesting part is how the gems he "warps" into his stomach just so happen to never actually be worth anything, like ruby or diamonds, it's always common rocks you can literally buy by the pounds online.
Braco nailed it, come on. No need to ingest plastic Amazon gems, no need for Photoshop skills, no possibility of burning down your house with green fire. That man stares.
I can't help but appreciate Braco's hustle, I mean if I could do that, I would. He's making bank just by staring silently in a zoom meeting. I don't know what he was up to in 2020 but he could have made a killing.
@@just_a_girl60Most likely the algorithm picked up on the phrase “alternative medicine” and it didn’t promote the video in recommended as much as a result.
@@Zorro9129 try for the past 40 years or so, people believing random charlatans is pretty much what led to the "pandemic" and current degenerate situation as a whole.
The photoshop bit where you verbally discredited being able to change the photo while simultaneously recreating the photo was hilarious! Love you Jon, bless you and your team and keep it up!
If he added more special effects like layering light halos from Google images he may have been able to recreate it perfectly. Source: I took a class on photoshop in high school 😆
"I believe the man is in pain." *tries not to laugh* "that's where the belief ends, but I believe he is struggling." Tis the greatest quote I have ever heard.
Just realized that my cat is an alternative medical practitioner. People should be more grateful when their hand-woven, heirloom rug is blessed with that healing energy at no cost.
I want to see Mychael Shane get the girl. He doubles over in pain, falls onto his knees and starts to violently throw up. He raises up a ring. “Will you marry me?”
She says yes, and they have a big wedding. The ceremony is a chakra cleansing and blessing, and it is officiated by Stephen Turoff, which incidentally allows them to save on lighting. Braco is the best man. His "speech" moves more than half of the guests to tears.
Y'know what, you just made me feel A LOT better about some questionable life choices, friend. I appreciate your kind words, and thanks for not staring into my soul.
Too real. I recently had it out with a friend of mine who wanted me to help him pay $300 to a charlatan who gave him tarot card readings and "advice". 😮💨
I actually joined the church of braco, I was under his spell for months. I'm here to tell you, if you were in my position, and you want to break free: begin by looking at his nose, then mouth, then chest, once your gaze is far from his, and you feel yourself return to your body - then run. Run till you burn off atleast 100 calories.
@@Aliyah_666 it's his gaze, it's like a lasso. It feels safe at first, but then you become his prisoner. You feel he's about to say something, but words never come out. You then wonder what he's thinking, and you'll never know. You just have to be there to feel it. But i dont recommend it.
At first I assumed this guy was just a charlatan. But something about him made me feel wrong in a way the others didn't when watching the video. Now seeing your comment I'm wondering if something demonic in nature is involved here...
if Mychael had just said "SwAlLoW gEmS aNd YoU wIlL cLeAn YoUr SoUl," it'd be more believable than teleporting goddamn pirate treasure into your stomach.
I know a lot of places have banned psychic surgeons. Tricking people out of their money and then convincing them you've cured their cancer by showing them a handful of chicken giblets isn't cool.
As a matter of fact no, I CAN'T believe Raid managed to survive more than a month, let alone an entire 3 years. Lucky the actual video's content is Jontron quality.
@@jake-amirblumenfeldwitz6068 Unfortunately it does have a massive playerbase, which is surprising considering how pay-to-progress it is. Not to mention the gameplay is some of the most god awful shit I've ever had the displeasure of laying my eyes on. The animations are also an insult to all other games. Definitely a bottom-tier mobile game.
Holy shit, Braco just reawakened a memory in me from a lot of years ago. He actually been here in Hungary when i was just a midget of a kid. He even was on Tv and all the Hungarian ppls just called him BS.
Yea he made so much money that it doesn't make any sense to stop. Dude has his palace in Zagreb, Croatia. Have you seen the room? Marble walls, damn thats some expensive shit.
24:01 this looks like 4 different bosses in a video game. Each with their own levels of insanity. Mycheal, the Stone Consumer. The Lightman of Olde. Chakra, cleanser of Auras. Braco the Stare
I like how Mychal and co. were sifting through their _loot_ like they’re in a DnD session: Mmm yes, that’s Ankhatabbi’s anklet. NO WAY that’s Beerusipalm’s… T-Thumb ring! This trinket was DEFINITELY crafted and lost by Nyanlathotep.
I genuinely thought the presentation part at 21:32 was a skit Jon put in until his reaction. The dramatic curtain pull to the most boring looking picture of Bosco or whatever his name is, then the look of seeing an old friend and the overwhelmed-to-tears reaction of those audience members... Pure comedic genius that brought me to hysterics.
“If you’re ever in a situation where you need the green fire, you probably have bigger problems than cleaning your chakra, you should probably get out of the Gobi desert first” This made me laugh more than it should’ve
What's killing me about the gem story is wondering how he got the ball rolling... Did he keep showing friends/random people until someone believed him? Like, how did he get a little crowd?
He doesn’t provide a “service” so I think it’s weird too. If he brought people (paid actors count too I guess) and made them barf gems it would make more sense but I don’t get why he has a big circle of people following him or even a website.
@@fortniteblackmanta1098 I'm choosing to believe that it started off as an incredibly niche fetish and then snowballed from there. People _can't_ really be this stupid 😭
When Jon zoomed in on the deep black, I saw my face reflected by my phone screen. When he said “this is important”, I knew he was talking to me. I never knew how much I needed to hear it until I did.
If the Count of St. Germain wanted to give you a handful of dimes he would do it in person, not warp them into the gullet of some Great Value George Lucas.
I honestly feel for the people crying during the Braco stream. If a guy staring at you with emotional piano music in the background can break you down, you've probably been holding back a lot. I say this assuming they weren't paid actors.
I mean, they don't seem to understand what crying is, so they're likely so emotionally stunted that anyone who can make them feel anything HAS to have magical healing powers. The fact that people can just do stuff like this is depressing.
@@bionicdragon5 makes me wonder why anybody even tries. Why sacrifice weeks of your life to the capitalist gods when you can make bank staring at a camera and doing literally nothing?
i feel like braco is just trying to become a meme by having someone remix him into a video or something and then become more famous that way, jontron is probably helping him
There used to be a popular youtuber who would just gaze silently into the camera, and I'm pretty sure she got millions of views every time. Parasocial relationships have been around way longer than people think and come in many different forms.
I don't know why, but the colour grading difference between Jons footage and Bracos intro scene just crack me up. Like the contrast between the insane fake happy nonsense and Jons dead pan '...wut?' is excellent. Its the little touches that make the difference,
I feel like Braco is some sort of SCP or Lovecraftian entity that is just roaming the planet in human form. We've yet to truly figure out what he is doing with his stare, but it likely ain't beneficial to long-term health.
TBH the most surprising thing about this video is that Raid is only 3 years old. Totally feels like its been around forever thanks to how many sponsors it gets
I thought it only became big enough to have sponsorship in like 2 years after the launch. Only being 3 years old means they forced way through by sponsorship.
Probably because it isn't 3, their anniversary is a blatant lie. Just like when they tried to say they never do sponsership ads, then had to go back on it for legal reasons and the swarm of youtubers calling them out. Initial launch was July, 2018, so they're about to hit 4 years. Which still seems too short but is definitely longer.
Been out for 3 years, and still looks like an absolute pile of shit. Also, someone needs to look up Jons Raid account. I bet he hasn't touched the game in 3 years
I think we're all forgetting about something here... Its great that Mychael can magically throw up gems, but even if I were to accept that, how does that help to heal me? Am I supposed to take his gems and rub them on my face or something?
“I believe everything that has been taught to me can be taught to others if they are willing to learn.” Rev. Mychael Shane This man taught his teachers how to teach
List of alternative medicine options: Barfing gems, the power of light, magic aura cleaning, and powerful healing staring contests. with options like these who needs traditional medicine?
I like to remind myself of the real rocks with aura. Uranium and similar radioactive materials. It has an aura. That aura is "eat shit and die" but its an aura.
I was about to type a comment saying "Love the consistency that at 13:28 he's still got the all-blue Adobe logos from his Simplifying Corporate Logos vid where he changed them, what a subtle nod." Then I remembered that his alterations made them blank, and that that lack of colour differentiation is literally Adobe's real backstep choice... Reality can be so disappointing.
If you mix the 4 of them, you end up with something close to the emperor of mankind in Warhammer. Glow all the time, Make you feel better just by being nearby or when you look at him, Can purge any negative energy with his incredible psychic power (including creating green fire), And his armor is full of gems. Thanks Jon to share this with us, now i know how and from where his armor gems come from.
If the US and Russia bomb each other to shit tomorrow over the Ukraine conflict, and Braco is still alive in the post apocalypse and forms a gang to conquer and unite the world, I will _Refuse_ to be surprised...
I thought that the gem vomit would be like "the gems absorbed my toxins and vomiting them up got rid of them" Clearly I was thinking too rationally to truly understand Mychael's methods
And I mean that would still be crazy but at least 'forming crystals in your body' can actually happen. Usually means you've got something really wrong with your kidneys or you have GOUT, but it can happen-
@@CasperInkyMagoo I don't remember that. FFS, he's a first generation citizen. His parents came from the Middle East. Also when you have no debate experience and have to wing it against someone like Sargon of Akkad, you're gonna end up saying something stupid out of desperation.
You know, for a guy supposedly 'puking' up such large, hard and sharp objects, Mychael doesn't seem to be doing a lot of gagging or actual puking. You know, what would *actually* happen if he was doing this.
I'm choosing to believe that Mycheal's cult started out as an _incredibly_ niche fetish, but as more people noticed him it turned into this. There's no way he'd have an audience otherwise. I NEED to believe this for my own sanity istg 😭💀
If shock videos from the 2010's have taught me anything, is that there's a strong "vomit fetish" out there. Big enough to warrant porn companies making videos like that. Just writing this gave me nausea.
@@ryanhernandez8324 So much is lost when the internet reveals the duplicitous nature of man but offers nothing in the way to stem our collective consciousness hemoraghing as a result. I hear many a friend complain in many creative ways about what you might describe as a sickness in their hearts, an overwhelming panic and sea of helpless feelings to ward off further systemic rot so omnipresent in our world at large. We sense it, us younger lot, having spent more of our lives online now, than not. Our interconnectedness is, frankly, just not something we've yet evolved a pragmatic coping response to. The Internet truly is as marvelous as it is often horrifying. Maybe we ought to instill a healthy dose of respect for this technology which can so dramatically effect our lives. Ugh, but what an insanely nuanced approach that would require - just for people to even momentarily consider integration of this new belief system. Curiously, I'm sort of inspired to attempt a bootstrap of such an idea. I wonder what form my grassroots movement would take? I'd start a church if I could, one of knowledge and enlightenment, collaborative efforts with researchers and big data management firms. I hope that a few weeks' worth of Google searches and open dialogs with others already active in this space will put me off to a good start. Perhaps I'll come back and append what I've discovered in a few weeks. xx edit: I'm tickled pink that having just stumbled onto @JonTron tonight would lead me to challenge some globally held beliefs from within. The Internet is neat.
So it's like that robot chicken sketch where the Scottish guy when caught trying to bone his sheep says he's creating the bagpipes and then he has to kill his sheep and make bagpipes just to avoid getting called as a zoophile
8:19 This passive-aggressive energy he's giving off with this smile is more terrifying than any horror movie that has come out in the past three years.
My freshman year geometry teacher would put Braco the healer on the projector to watch over us while we were taking a test and relieve us whenever we got stressed out during it. I wish I made this up but this is 100% real
Thank you, sir. Single Dad, and it's my 1st ever Christmas Eve away from my daughters...not a great time. As soon as I saw Ajna, I immediately thought you'd say it, but you pulled through with the, "...you lost me at Ajna.". It's a simple thing, but it made my evening so, thank you. Merry Christmas
It was amazing, this one moment this guy was talking about how he could transport gems into his stomach, then suddenly my phone was talking about how the universe is Pringle shaped. It’s like the video never transitioned into an ad
Honestly, I want more of this kind of video from Jon. His wacky health-charlatan videos are easily his funniest uploads, hands down. This one in particular is on par with Goop, I'd say -- and I was *cackling* at each Goop episode lmao.
Install Raid for Free ✅ Mobile and PC: clik.cc/djvq0 and get a special starter pack 💥 Available only for the next 30 days 💥 Thanks to Raid for sponsoring todays video!
❤️
Ight, im intalling
Jon if Raid Shadow Legends is holding you hostage then blink twice in the next video
Jesus bro, find different sponsor. This so gay, and I’m gay
Poggers
"you've been called a gentle giant, why is that?"
"maybe because I'm tall and I'm gentle."
great interview material, guys.
Hard hitting journalism
Box it and ship it immediately.
In a realm of dying credible journalism, this man out here asking the hard and tough questions.
@@ThompsonExpress
Journalism died a long time ago. It was one of the first things to be corrupted and killed by Democrats.
No idea how else he'd even answer that awful question, ahaha
“Childlike presence”, I mean, he’s not wrong. Growing up I knew kids who ate rocks
I mean, my irl examples could be aptly compared to Ralph Wiggems but yeah, I guess I knew those kids too.
@@gokuxsephiroth4505 I was that kid once, but only one time
It’s not childlike, but it’s definitely a presence alright.
I knew kids who ate glue.
@@paitynnicolosi8907 I knew kids who ate bugs and paper, I see what you feel.
I would love for a gemologist to show up at one of Mychael's barf performances, look at the gems and say "These are plastic".
Gemologist
@@dogbot55 beat me to it lol
@@dogbot55 I know, I didn't think it was a real thing until I looked it up- "Gemology is the science of studying, cutting, and valuing precious stones, but the essence of gemology is in identifying the gemstones. One who works in the field of gemology is called a gemologist"
I thought guys studying rocks were called geologists. Or is this a specialised version of geology where they only study gems?
@@iwannaseehowlongyoucanmakethis Google tells you everything you need to know-"As nouns, the difference between geology and gemologist is that geology is the science that studies the structure of the earth (or other planets), together with its origin and development, especially by examination of its rocks while gemologist is an expert in gemology."
When Braco stares, it's healing. When I stare, it's a felony
😂
it’s hypocrisy, i tell u!!!
Have you tried doing it in a white button up, faded jeans, and beach slippers?
Talk about double standards am I right
I just want to give props to whatever person did the interrogation room edit. It was only a few seconds but holy shit they did a good job and it was hilarious.
14:30 is the time stamp peeps!
That looked so genuine I was expecting those iconic JCS red arial text that highlight sussy behavior to come up any second
I know it looked great
damn i thought it was just an actual interrogation room video lmaooo
Oh fuck... I just seen it. That whole sequence is perfect 😂
The main selling points for the chakra one seem to be:
- you’re able to gain energy from the land
- you’re able to clean other people’s boobs of bad chakra
- you’re able to OBLITERATE YOUR FOES WITH BEAMS OF HEAVENLY LIGHT
I don’t know about you but I’m sold.
I mean I'd lvoe to be able to summon a tiny earth to shoot raybeams at with my hans
Gem regurgitation is so underrated nowadays...This magical technique was commonly used in the Italian renaissance to feed baby dragons or even fully grown gargoyles, later to be used in cathedral building and fountain decoration.
"behave or ill cut your spiritual cord. Don't laugh. It's permanent, like circumcision." *proceeds to karate chop the air*
Don't forget the power to literally sever people's souls from their bodies and turn them into husks and the ability to, with enough practice, generate beams of raw esoteric energy capable of glassing planets.
Honestly if all you need to become a literal god amongst men is to just relax your chakras and give them regular bath times, I'm totally down for them.
Spirit bomb??
So now we can agree that there is
- Conventional Medicine
- Traditional Medicine
- Alternative Medicine
- EXTREMELY Alternative Medicine
and then there is goop.
I like how goop is just on an entirely different plane of its own
Goop is all of the above
Edit: and occasional mundane housewares and kitchen supplies
@@TheTownNarcoleptic And dildos lmao
Goop is the only one that tells you to shove a rock up your vagooter.
traditional kinda leans into alternative bc they didnt hve real meds
About Braco...
As the two men sit by the ocean together, gazing out to the horizon, Prokic took off all of his trademark gold jewelry (which he was never seen without) and his wallet and placed them onto the sand beside him. Moments later, a rogue wave emerged from the belly of the South African shoreline and swallowed Prokic, leaving Braco intact and his jewelry and wallet unscathed. Braco’s Wikipedia page at one point stated that Prokic’s body was found, and had “multiple gashes in the lower abdomen.” At least, this is the story as told by Braco himself, while the consensus seems to be that Prokic died “under suspicious circumstances” and has been left at that.
Totally an accident...
Yes, totally not a murder.
wait what
What an idiot
He looks like someone that has stabbing license
I always take off all my jewelry before cutting my abdoment open on rocks nobody found.
This guy is like a dark souls boss. Reverend Mychael, The Gem-Eater.
Or Steven Turoff, The Light Harbinger.
I wonder what music starts playing when you fight them?
@@SneedBass Probably something on the lines of Seaths theme I would imagine. Something with the same sounds
@@glennquagmire8345 that would be a good song to go with that lmao
Braco, The Unblinking Soul-Gazer
You look at the audiences of these "healers" and it's always two groups: The elderly, and the desperate. These con artists are predators, preying on the weak and the easily misinformed. And it's nearly impossible to get rid of them.
Sometimes I feel the urge to came up with some bullshit like that because it’s so easy money
I feel bad for these people, even if they're stupid.
You forgot Californians.
@@ChimpFromSpace if you were in a state literally covered in human crap that still costs as much as a new car to live in for a year, youd be pretty desperate
@@sterkriger2572 but you dont because your not scum like these people, unless you wanna collab on a new fake religion like scientology where we con them into confessing all the awful stuff theyve done and use it to make them work for us and we use their connections to further our cause i could get in on the ground floor for one of thoses
Cashier: sorry man, the sandwich is 3.99, you're a dollar short.
Mychael Shane: (vomits the remaining dollar)
I audibly laughed
RICO!
Do yall accept rubies?
@@paitynnicolosi8907 Yes but not plastic ones get that out of here.
@@justicebeske5704 Are you insinuating I am poor? (You’re damn right)
You could totally organize these four guys into the world's most useless hero team.
You've got: The Regurgitator, Shiny Man, Goku, and the Uncomfortably Leering Man.
Underrated comment!
Why is this not already in process?
“Goku”
That is hilarious lol
I can’t explain it but that was funny
Omg you're rright - they've just split the DBZ fighting tropes into individual people.
Uncomfortable noises, glowing power, ki energy, and intense stares.
This comment deserves better
I like how we never established what throwing up gemstones has to do with alternative medicine.
I want a jeweler in one of those sessions to be handed one of those "gems" (they'd have to really clean it) and to begin examining it, then pull a real jewel from their pocket to be compared. It'll likely change nothing for those latching on to this fraud as some very gross diety (you've taken a very wrong turn in life and hit rock bottom when a guy who spits up plastic gems is your idol), but the thought of causing him some embarrassment would be joyous to me.
Hello my friends, I hope you can help me. I beg you because of my harsh circumstances and the death of my husband. My daughter and I live in miserable conditions, but my problem is that you are engaged and her marriage is close, I swear to you, I do not want to shame her in front of her husband's family.
The one trick doctors don't want you to know.
@@BewareTheLilyOfTheValley grandpappy nurgle would like to have a word
You sell them for enough to afford real medicine.
i honestly CAN’T believe raid is only 3 years old. it feels like i’ve been seeing their sponsorships for 5+ years
3 years is too old for an abortion, sadly.
3 years would mean it only started a a little over a year before Covid got big basically, definitely feels a couple years older than that but time got wibbly wobbly
no i definitely saw them pre 2019
@@elleffo The game itself might be 3 years old but adversities may have been out earlier
the wikipedia page says the initial release was july 2018, so idk about this whole 3rd anniversary thing chief
The only thing weirder than the actual videos shown, is how JonTron was able to find these videos in the first place
Its you! :D
JESUS KNOCKS ON YOUR HEART AND LONGS FOR YOU TO ANSWER! HE DOESN'T WANT TO SEE ANYONE PERISH INTO HELL. GOD LOVES YOU SO HE GIVES YOU FREE WILL AND A CHOICE TO ACCEPT HIM OR REJECT HIM. TO LOVE HIM OR TO LOVE SIN/THIS WORLD. CALL UPON JESUS & ASK HIM TO FORGIVE YOUR SINS! SURRENDER YOUR WILL & YOUR LIFE TO HIM & HE WILL GIVE YOU ETERNAL LIFE IN HEAVEN! PICTURE YOUR BEST DAY ON EARTH TIMES A BILLION FOR ETERNITY, THAT'S HEAVEN! NOW PICTURE YOUR WORST DAY ON EARTH TIMES A BILLION FOR ETERNITY, THAT'S HELL! HE WILL GIVE YOU WHAT YOU WANT SO IF YOU REJECT HIM YOU WILL BE SEPARATED FROM HIM & HIS BLESSINGS (LOVE, PEACE, JOY, HOPE, REST, ETC). IN HELL YOU WILL BE ALONE WITHOUT GOD OR PEOPLE... YOU WILL BE HOPELESS, IN DESPAIR & AGONY FOREVER!
GOD'S STANDARD FOR HEAVEN IS PERFECTION AND ONLY JESUS (THE SON OF GOD/GOD IN THE FLESH) LIVED THAT PERFECT LIFE! HE LAID DOWN HIS LIFE & TOOK THE WRATH OF THE FATHER ON THE CROSS FOR YOUR SINS! GOD IS JUST SO HE MUST PUNISH SIN & HE IS HOLY SO NO SIN CAN ENTER HIS KINGDOM OF HEAVEN. IF YOU ARE IN CHRIST ON JUDGEMENT DAY GOD WILL SEE YOU AS HIS PERFECT SON (SINLESS SINCE YOUR SINS ARE COVERED BY JESUS' OFFERING). YOU CAN ALSO CHOOSE TO REJECT JESUS' GIFT/SACRIFICE & PAY FOR YOUR OWN SIN WITH DEATH (HELL) BUT THAT SEEMS PRETTY FOOLISH! GOD SEES & HEARS EVERYTHING YOU HAVE SAID & DONE. YOU WONT WIN AN ARGUMENT WITH HIM & YOU CANT DEFEND ANY OF YOUR SINS TO HIM. YOU'RE NOT A GOOD PERSON, I'M NOT A GOOD PERSON... ONLY GOD IS GOOD! WE'RE ALL GUILTY WITHOUT ACCEPTING JESUS' SACRIFICE FOR OUR SINS!
MUHAMMAD DIDN'T DIE FOR YOUR SINS, BUDDHA DIDN'T DIE FOR YOUR SINS, NO PASTOR/NO PRIEST/NO SAINT/NO ANCESTOR DIED FOR YOUR SINS, MARY DIDN'T, THE POPE DIDN'T EITHER, NO IDOLS OR FALSE gods DIED FOR YOUR SINS, NO MUSICIAN OR CELEBRITY DIED FOR YOUR SINS, NO INFLUENCER OR TH-cam STAR DIED FOR YOUR SINS, NO SCIENTIST OR POLITICIAN DIED FOR YOUR SINS, NO ATHLETE OR ACTOR DIED FOR YOUR SINS! STOP IDOLIZING & WORSHIPING THESE PEOPLE!
JESUS CHRIST ALONE DIED FOR YOUR SINS & WAS RESURRECTED FROM THE GRAVE! HE IS ALIVE & COMING BACK VERY SOON WITH JUDGEMENT (THESE ARE END TIMES)! PREPARE YOURSELVES, TURN FROM SIN & RUN TO JESUS! HE KNOWS YOUR PAIN & TROUBLES, HE WANTS TO HEAL & RESTORE YOU! TALK TO HIM LIKE A BEST FRIEND! ASK HIM TO REVEAL HIMSELF TO YOU & HELP YOU TO BELIEVE IF YOU DOUBT! DON'T WAIT TO CRY OUT! NO ONE IS PROMISED TOMORROW! HE LONGS FOR YOU TO INVITE HIM IN, HE LOVES YOU MORE THAN ANY PERSON EVER COULD, HE CREATED YOU!
Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me."-John 14:6
"But whosoever shall deny me before men, him will I also deny before my Father which is in heaven."-Matthew 10:33
“For the wages of sin is death (hell), but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord”-Romans 6:23
True bro…
Wait… there’s no bots yet, I’m actually early for once.
@@scarsch2818 good job😊🥰👍💯💕💞💖
@@scarsch2818 it seems they don't have jon on the botting list
You know, if I was at a braco convention without being told what was going on, I would just be waiting the whole time for the thing to start.
“Oh shit our performers ping must be high, he’s been frozen on stage all day
Id be sitting there like OOH shett this is gonna be good man, Look hes building suspense XD. After a while Id be laughing untill they threw me out ;)
Surprised Jon didn't mention the "rogue wave" that swept away Braco's mentor when the two were alone on a beach in South Africa, leaving behind only his jewelry and wallet.
Was it really a rogue wave
Must have been an ectoplasmic wave - it left behind the jewels and money and was totally BS.
It's got all the signs of either a GHOST WAVE or BS. Probably ghosts.
@@crack9014 be quiet before braco gets you man
@@crack9014 nah it was an archer wave
A "rouge wave". Don't they mean calm water?
I'd just like to share this line from the Braco Wikipedia page:
"Believers claim Braco's physical presence is not necessary, and gazing at a picture or video of him can be sufficient for healing"
He's far too powerful to be kept alive!
That sounds like something a Kpop stan would say. The difference is these people are being serious instead of facetious.
Does the wiki cover the mysterious disappearance of his master that taught him the GAZE OF MIRACLES?
he is an SCP
It’s true!!! Just from watching this video that had footage of him, I no longer need my 16th surgery!! My thyroid also healed, my acne cleared up, and my ovaries are no longer cystic!!!!
That woman at 21:55 saying that "water started pouring out of [her] eyes" is literally me trying to reach the word count on an essay
an assemblage of molecules consisting of the elements hydrogen and oxygen sometimes abbreviated by the symbol h2o did proceed to usher forth from mine visual orbs in a sudden and most peculiar manner
@@larion2336 Pro level right there. You have a great future writing corporate announcements and political speeches.
@@larion2336 change visual orbs to visual sensory organs and you're good to go!
it’s not crying it’s just your eyeball ectoplasm
Aptly said
I understand the last one. People who are extremely desperate or depressed or loooking for meaning in their lives will put meaning on something such as someone staring at you with an innocent expression. They are crying because they feel like that dude gets them because they are putting that projection onto him. The dude literally doesn't have to do more than look at people the right way and the crowd will do all the work for him.
yeah honestly it’s sad
i feel like the braco thing can also be applied to that robotic cleaner arm that tiktok never shut their traps about.
it’s the one where like 50% of the app are actually crying over the arm because of the meaning they crafted and projected onto the robot, while the other half is like “dude… it’s an arm that sweeps red water, tf is there to be depressed about??”
at least with braco, you’re actually staring into the eyes of an actual human and the projections you put onto this guy make sense; with the arm, you’d just look silly.
I feel like I saw a social experiment or something where they had strangers on the street make prolonged eye contact without speaking and some of them cried or at least got emotional. I think it's probably a normal reaction for some people to feel an emotional connection, the sad part is them assigning all this extra powrr/meaning to one specific guy, rather than just humanity in general.
I love Braco so damn much. Literally just a dude with a really strong poker face who gets paid to stare at people. Has it absolutely made.
Also murdered his guru. Don't forget that bit.
@@xFukairix wait *WHAT*
@@morganpriest7726 iirc he went out on a boat with his mentor/guru who taught him the face and he was the only one to return haha
@@Marssnowable he retuurned also with all of his gurus jewelry.
Well yeah, if your apprentice can't kill you after you've taught him everything you know then you probably picked the wrong guy. Darth Braco did it, he's the real deal.
24:24 after reading about Braco's murder allegations this scene sets a very different tone
@404 TV It's on his Wiki page, and some articles that can be found via Google. Looks like he's "absorbed" his mentor's powers.
Never let someone near your spiritual cord
@404 TV he and his master who taught him the "face" both went out on a boat only braco returned with all his masters jewlery.
@@wilmagregg3131 No no it's fine, clearly the master turned into light and braco stared at the light so hard that he warped through time and came back with a stomach full of gemstones
he goddamn what?
I've actually been to a live Braco erm, show. Can't remember how, but went for shits n giggles.
His skill is impressive, no matter how hard I tried, I always blinked first.
Hard to beat a pro I guess
How did you not laugh your ass off and didn't end up getting beaten by old ladies?
That guy is so weird, i saw him in an austrian documentary about "alternative" and occult healing!
I bet I can beat him, BRING HIM TO ME
So... he stares at you? That's it?
"cost a little Bangladeshi boy's life" got me cackling lmao, never thought I'd be represented like this and I wouldn't have it any other way
Wat
What, are you a little bangladeshi boy?
@@tinobemellow The very one sacrificed for the gem
He must have come back to life, if he's got a TH-cam channel. Maybe Michael's magic worked after all.
@@sasdagreat8052 Thank him for his service. At least, I think that's how it goes.
So does this mean in another realm somewhere a wizard is missing his gems?
"God DAMN it, I JUST refilled this component pouch!"
Wait, where did my gems go?
*hurk!*
Mychaaaeeeeeel!!!!
everytime you fail your rolls to find the gems mychael gets more in his stomach
Yes.
Damn mortals always taking my spirit stones. Like dude, do your own Ritual of Binding if you want them so bad
Braco has channeled the pure essence of the “I’m not mad just disappointed” look
That smirk tho is like ehen you watch two chicks you fucked fight over you at lunch. Lol
He reminds me of the "🥺" emoji
🤣 best comment I've seen so far.
@@errortryagainlater4240 We've reached a point where we compare emotions to emojis, the thing that inspired them in the first place. What a recursive dystopia.
@@deadliestvice5356 Sir, this is a Wendy's.
When Steven Turoff turns his body into light, does he become Steven Turon?
yes
ena: turon?
@@nseven1117 Turon? TURON?!
@@drasticplastic1218 TURON! TURON! TURON!
You are no longer allowed to speak 🔪
22:14 "crying crying...crying crying you know? i don't know why you know...cry...cry cry"
The universe is made out of 4 essential building blocks:
-Stomach Gems
-Light
-Chakra
-Braco
The Four Nations: Light, Chakra, Stomach Gems and Braco lived in harmony until one day Braco attacked
@@technodragon990
How dare you slander the staring zoom meeting man like that.
>PRANIC GASPING
Brakira
Stomach Gems? So Steven Universe?
22:43 "I'd rather give free will to my fucking refrigerator" bro im 🤣🤣
Technically "Healing through the power of light" is a scientifically valid way of describing Lasek eye surgery.
*Laser
@@lucss21a lasek
@@lucss21a Laser eye surgery doesn't actually give you laser eyes. I spent an hour looking at bread and waiting for it to toast.
And jaundice
@@lucss21a it's technically both
it's called "LASEK" and simply "laser eye surgery"
(there's also LASIK)
From Braco's website: "For pregnant women we advise to only join the gazing sessions until the end of the third month of their pregnancy." Can't be too careful...
Side effects of prolonged gazing leads to babies with serial killer stares. They don’t cry, they don’t laugh, they simply….watch
Alternative alternative medicine, more specifically, abortion
@@scottpeltier3977now we know who to blame for Michael Myers
This is why so many people still die from heart attacks. They never check the back heart..
And JonTron saved the best for last with Braco!
This happened to my
grandfather ,guys always remember to check your back heart
@@normalperson1902 Two things you should check regularly as a man
1: Your prostate
2: Your back heart
maybe one day these scientist will find more hearts in our body . fingers crossed
@@normalperson1902 wow imagine having a space marine as a grandfather
@@wilmagregg3131 meng meng has nothing on the Emperor's gene seed
At this point we just need a raid shadow legends character named “JonTron” with how many sponsors he’s had with them.
I would absolutely love if there was a Hero based on Jontron
_Inb4 some rainbow-haired weenie with more pronouns on their blue checkmarked twitter bio than braincells cries foul and tries brigading Raid as istaphobic for having Jon as a playable character despite the dev studio originating from Israel (no, really, look it up.)_
does ALLATA DAAMMMAGE
Raid sponsors half of the internet at this point.
Remember when he would have shat on a game like Raid?
that bit with them unveiling he still image of braco to a crowd of people staring intently felt like an excerpt from a horror film about a dystopian future where we've all been brainwashed ala 1984
Yeah that was creepy
If you want a vision of the future, imagine Ted Cruz's long lost twin brother, silently staring at you in a Livestream, _forever._
Im pretty sure it was a video call, or at least a pre-recorded video. Doesnt make it less creepy though.
This is an attack on our democracy
I thought it felt like a Tim and Eric skit come to real life.
the interesting part is how the gems he "warps" into his stomach just so happen to never actually be worth anything, like ruby or diamonds, it's always common rocks you can literally buy by the pounds online.
"I should just go on a walk, get some fresh air, eat right- I'm still gonna drink though."
Damn, it's like looking into a dark mirror.
Braco nailed it, come on. No need to ingest plastic Amazon gems, no need for Photoshop skills, no possibility of burning down your house with green fire. That man stares.
I swear. If I burn my house down with green fire, it'll be worth it. Do you know how much power you'd have being able to summon the green fire?
I can't help but appreciate Braco's hustle, I mean if I could do that, I would. He's making bank just by staring silently in a zoom meeting. I don't know what he was up to in 2020 but he could have made a killing.
Probably literally, too
True, if 2020 taught us anything its gullible people will buy into ANYTHING no matter how silly it is.
I'd like to imagine him become a Vtuber and it just be a jpeg.
@Cheff Cheffington 4 hrs and no responses. Looks like your bait's a dud, bud.
@@BigFingerRo Bait?
Only real JonTron fans will know this video as “EXTREMELY Alternative Medicine - JonTron”
Had to find this before I made a comment, this trend of renaming videos is the most frustrating shit it's like constantly being Mandela effected
Yeah the heck’s up with that?? Lol I wonder why he did
@@just_a_girl60 Probably TH-cam having a hissy fit.
@@Dr.Oofers ughh if that’s the case, typical YT 🙃
@@just_a_girl60Most likely the algorithm picked up on the phrase “alternative medicine” and it didn’t promote the video in recommended as much as a result.
Jon’s current healthcare providers are “random charlatans.” That killed me. 😂
Aren't all doctors just pretending like the rest of us?
Post-corona that's pretty common sadly.
@@Zorro9129 try for the past 40 years or so, people believing random charlatans is pretty much what led to the "pandemic" and current degenerate situation as a whole.
The photoshop bit where you verbally discredited being able to change the photo while simultaneously recreating the photo was hilarious! Love you Jon, bless you and your team and keep it up!
My favorite part of that is the fact that he's completely visible on film, after stating that no camera can capture his image.
That was brilliant, but the one that really cracked me up was the dog joke and it just shows a picture of a hamster instead. That one always gets me.
If he added more special effects like layering light halos from Google images he may have been able to recreate it perfectly. Source: I took a class on photoshop in high school 😆
Yea I saw that too
No one can convince me that JonTron isn't the RAID developer. 💯
Ok holmes
No, but I feel his contractual obligations with them are the only reason we still get videos and I'm OK with that!
That explains the long breaks.
it's free advertising
Oh shit, Jesse from Mexican Martial Arts watches JonTron?!🤯🤣
"I believe the man is in pain." *tries not to laugh* "that's where the belief ends, but I believe he is struggling." Tis the greatest quote I have ever heard.
Just realized that my cat is an alternative medical practitioner. People should be more grateful when their hand-woven, heirloom rug is blessed with that healing energy at no cost.
PHHHHH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA!
It can also vomit unusual things
I want to see Mychael Shane get the girl.
He doubles over in pain, falls onto his knees and starts to violently throw up.
He raises up a ring. “Will you marry me?”
Then she goes in to get it refit (and disinfected) and finds out it’s a 2$ ring from Amazon 😂
@@ryanm3377 If they had that kinda critical thinking skills, they wouldn't be there
I loved it, and it's canon for me now hasouhasuohsoahaso
he finishes by explaining it was Cleopatra's wedding ring gifted from Alexander and warped to his bowels
She says yes, and they have a big wedding.
The ceremony is a chakra cleansing and blessing, and it is officiated by Stephen Turoff, which incidentally allows them to save on lighting.
Braco is the best man. His "speech" moves more than half of the guests to tears.
"Id rather give my fucking refrigerator free will" best damn line ever
I would pay to see that TV show
Give Samsung a decade.
That man has spaghetti bolognaise on his mind 24/7
what if the refrigerator doesn't give his consent to get opened?
Yes, old people need to be eradicated
Whenever you feel stupid for making a mistake, remember people are paying hundreds of dollars to stare at some weirdo to heal their diabetes
Hey!!!! I'll have you know those Livestreams are free.
Y'know what, you just made me feel A LOT better about some questionable life choices, friend.
I appreciate your kind words, and thanks for not staring into my soul.
@@davidplaysgames470 Yeah, but the livestream will not cure diabetes, just light dandruff.
Too real. I recently had it out with a friend of mine who wanted me to help him pay $300 to a charlatan who gave him tarot card readings and "advice". 😮💨
"Id rather give free will to my fucking refrigerator" needs to be in a Jon Tron out of context.
That line was a gem...no pun intended.
Billion Surprise Toys already did that and it was terrifying
And a reaction gif
It ended up eating Sigourney Weaver in _Ghostbusters._
I want that on a shirt lol
There is truly no way to gauge when JonTron is gonna upload. He comes and goes with no warning, always brought to us by Raid: Shadow Legends.
As unpredictable as the wind itself
To skip the ad: 1:45
he's no man, but a force of nature, who do you presume to be to question nature itself?
No way to gauge if it's going to be good either
He’s like a wizard.
I actually joined the church of braco, I was under his spell for months. I'm here to tell you, if you were in my position, and you want to break free: begin by looking at his nose, then mouth, then chest, once your gaze is far from his, and you feel yourself return to your body - then run. Run till you burn off atleast 100 calories.
braco fucking killed a dude
I honestly can't see how he manages to have a following. He is just staring at a camera, utterly pointless to me. But again just my opinion.
@@Aliyah_666 it's his gaze, it's like a lasso. It feels safe at first, but then you become his prisoner. You feel he's about to say something, but words never come out. You then wonder what he's thinking, and you'll never know. You just have to be there to feel it. But i dont recommend it.
Damn…….I’m glad you were able to shake yourself out of his cult
At first I assumed this guy was just a charlatan. But something about him made me feel wrong in a way the others didn't when watching the video. Now seeing your comment I'm wondering if something demonic in nature is involved here...
Instead of duct tape, they should've used Flex Tape! Seal up the dimension rift for all time!
if Mychael had just said "SwAlLoW gEmS aNd YoU wIlL cLeAn YoUr SoUl," it'd be more believable than teleporting goddamn pirate treasure into your stomach.
Yar har, fiddle dee dee. We'll stop up your colon expediently.
Swallow the gems and you'll clean your soul, I wanna get lost in your rock and roll
@@Potato-yd3hv and drift awayyyy
@@krimsonklaww611
I CACKLED 💀
" I believe everything I've been taught can be taught to others if they want to learn"
Yeah Mychael, I believe that's how teaching works in general.
some people are too dumb
I’ve met people who act like saving money is impossible, some people are just really stupid
5:09
Not 5 minutes in and we’ve got gem vomit and an old man’s “childlike presence”
God, jontron’s videos are a fever dream sometimes
THE BEST KIND OF FEVERDREAM!!!
That’s Jontron all the time
Sometimes?! I'd argue they're always a fever dream -- and I love it.
Sometimes?
Sometimes they're not fever dream
'Childlike Presence' sounds like a joke JonTron would make, which makes it even funnier having the lunatic in the original video saying it lol
I know a lot of places have banned psychic surgeons. Tricking people out of their money and then convincing them you've cured their cancer by showing them a handful of chicken giblets isn't cool.
They should be like chained up behind a redneck guys F-350 and dragged across the I-95
As a matter of fact no, I CAN'T believe Raid managed to survive more than a month, let alone an entire 3 years. Lucky the actual video's content is Jontron quality.
It has a TON of advertising. Name me one person that frequents TH-cam and hasn't seen someone promoting it.
does anyone actually play it?
@@jake-amirblumenfeldwitz6068 lots of people do. My friend does. I personally would never cuz I really dislike mobile games
@@jake-amirblumenfeldwitz6068 In the latest report it has earned so far 250 million dollars.
@@jake-amirblumenfeldwitz6068 Unfortunately it does have a massive playerbase, which is surprising considering how pay-to-progress it is. Not to mention the gameplay is some of the most god awful shit I've ever had the displeasure of laying my eyes on. The animations are also an insult to all other games. Definitely a bottom-tier mobile game.
Holy shit, Braco just reawakened a memory in me from a lot of years ago. He actually been here in Hungary when i was just a midget of a kid. He even was on Tv and all the Hungarian ppls just called him BS.
He’s Hungary for money
@@jeniferjoseph9200 take my like and leave
Yea he made so much money that it doesn't make any sense to stop. Dude has his palace in Zagreb, Croatia. Have you seen the room? Marble walls, damn thats some expensive shit.
@@FGazi-qf1hp And all from just staring at a camera. And I thought cam girls had it easy.
Let them memory heal you and soothe your soul. Don't deny yourself.
24:01 this looks like 4 different bosses in a video game. Each with their own levels of insanity. Mycheal, the Stone Consumer. The Lightman of Olde. Chakra, cleanser of Auras. Braco the Stare
The Elden Ring bosses
Ah, the four lord souls that unlock the final boss area where Gwyneth Paltrow tries to convince you to light yourself on fire
Loathsome gem eater
Prosafia Gaming thumbnail be like:
"Alternative Medicine: All Boss Fights (4k 60FPS)"
“Receive life energy from the environment”
Going outside and feeling nourishing sunlight is actually a decent hangover cure for me
The real hang over cure is drink a ton of water before you sleep then when you wake up simply dont!
I’ll try this
Ah yes I remember as a child when I would grace others with my presence by vomiting gems violently.
Reminds me of that scene in the goonies where he spit out the gems on the ship
Relatable
@@404_namenotfound9 I like your pfp. That book is in my room!
@@baterwottle7290 haha no way!
Since this comment has 666 likes I like to imagine it's the devil actually reminiscing about his childhood
I like how Mychal and co. were sifting through their _loot_ like they’re in a DnD session:
Mmm yes, that’s Ankhatabbi’s anklet.
NO WAY that’s Beerusipalm’s… T-Thumb ring!
This trinket was DEFINITELY crafted and lost by Nyanlathotep.
I have a new artificer concept.
@@Greywander87 cool! glad to be of service
@@Greywander87 lmao vomiting artifacts
Nyanlethotep, huh?
I know who you are.
@@mistermoon9305 agagagagagaga
I genuinely thought the presentation part at 21:32 was a skit Jon put in until his reaction.
The dramatic curtain pull to the most boring looking picture of Bosco or whatever his name is, then the look of seeing an old friend and the overwhelmed-to-tears reaction of those audience members...
Pure comedic genius that brought me to hysterics.
“If you’re ever in a situation where you need the green fire, you probably have bigger problems than cleaning your chakra, you should probably get out of the Gobi desert first”
This made me laugh more than it should’ve
What's killing me about the gem story is wondering how he got the ball rolling... Did he keep showing friends/random people until someone believed him? Like, how did he get a little crowd?
He doesn’t provide a “service” so I think it’s weird too. If he brought people (paid actors count too I guess) and made them barf gems it would make more sense but I don’t get why he has a big circle of people following him or even a website.
@@fortniteblackmanta1098 I'm choosing to believe that it started off as an incredibly niche fetish and then snowballed from there. People _can't_ really be this stupid 😭
Because people are very gullible
When Jon zoomed in on the deep black, I saw my face reflected by my phone screen. When he said “this is important”, I knew he was talking to me.
I never knew how much I needed to hear it until I did.
Ayyyy pass dat joint bruddah!
Who knew Jon was also a great healer.
@@XSniper74184 Laughter is the best medicine innit
If the Count of St. Germain wanted to give you a handful of dimes he would do it in person, not warp them into the gullet of some Great Value George Lucas.
No, no, not Great Value....Dollar Tree.
What if it's his fetish?
24:49 - '..what are you looking at dude??..'
..wonder how long that orange ball has been in that water.. :)
I honestly feel for the people crying during the Braco stream. If a guy staring at you with emotional piano music in the background can break you down, you've probably been holding back a lot.
I say this assuming they weren't paid actors.
I mean, they don't seem to understand what crying is, so they're likely so emotionally stunted that anyone who can make them feel anything HAS to have magical healing powers.
The fact that people can just do stuff like this is depressing.
@@bionicdragon5 makes me wonder why anybody even tries. Why sacrifice weeks of your life to the capitalist gods when you can make bank staring at a camera and doing literally nothing?
@@nicholasszymonik5269 Because some people have standards, I guess.
i feel like braco is just trying to become a meme by having someone remix him into a video or something and then become more famous that way, jontron is probably helping him
There used to be a popular youtuber who would just gaze silently into the camera, and I'm pretty sure she got millions of views every time. Parasocial relationships have been around way longer than people think and come in many different forms.
Braco seems like the kind of guy who wants to summon a meteorite to crash into the planet. Serious Sephiroth energy.
Don't insult my murderous babyboy like that 😤😤😤
@@catherinetheegreat8742 Bracoroth.
dang man i get what u mean but you don't gotta do Sephiroth dirty like dat lmao
the guys before him too
tbf the guy does look like a dollar store sephiroth
I don't know why, but the colour grading difference between Jons footage and Bracos intro scene just crack me up. Like the contrast between the insane fake happy nonsense and Jons dead pan '...wut?' is excellent.
Its the little touches that make the difference,
I feel like Braco is some sort of SCP or Lovecraftian entity that is just roaming the planet in human form. We've yet to truly figure out what he is doing with his stare, but it likely ain't beneficial to long-term health.
👁👄👁
Jon, established as he is, is carving out a really weird niche for himself.
I don’t really get why he’s doing that but I guess I’m here for it.
It doesn't matter what Jon does, is always fucking hilarious
Niche? This dude gets millions of views every vid
@@ThwipThwipBoom niche because who else does this kind of video?
It's hilarious, so whats your point? I laughed so hard that I almost passed out in this one.
@@viniciusgrossmann8796 iunno dunkey? they all pretty much the same.
TBH the most surprising thing about this video is that Raid is only 3 years old. Totally feels like its been around forever thanks to how many sponsors it gets
I thought it only became big enough to have sponsorship in like 2 years after the launch. Only being 3 years old means they forced way through by sponsorship.
Probably because it isn't 3, their anniversary is a blatant lie. Just like when they tried to say they never do sponsership ads, then had to go back on it for legal reasons and the swarm of youtubers calling them out. Initial launch was July, 2018, so they're about to hit 4 years. Which still seems too short but is definitely longer.
Been out for 3 years, and still looks like an absolute pile of shit.
Also, someone needs to look up Jons Raid account. I bet he hasn't touched the game in 3 years
does anyone even play it ive never met a fucker in me life that does
@@maromania7 a swarm of leeches
The fact that it took him 20 seconds to photoshop his “miracle of light” is hilarious to me and I have no idea why
If John had increased the pixel length of the outer glow and made the lines a little more curvaceous it would be nearly identical
I think we're all forgetting about something here... Its great that Mychael can magically throw up gems, but even if I were to accept that, how does that help to heal me? Am I supposed to take his gems and rub them on my face or something?
No, he teaches you to throw up gems just like him.
“I believe everything that has been taught to me can be taught to others if they are willing to learn.” Rev. Mychael Shane
This man taught his teachers how to teach
It has the same energy as 'people die when they are killed'
List of alternative medicine options: Barfing gems, the power of light, magic aura cleaning, and powerful healing staring contests. with options like these who needs traditional medicine?
I like to remind myself of the real rocks with aura. Uranium and similar radioactive materials. It has an aura. That aura is "eat shit and die" but its an aura.
@@callumprice1710 that shitter aura hits different
I was about to type a comment saying "Love the consistency that at 13:28 he's still got the all-blue Adobe logos from his Simplifying Corporate Logos vid where he changed them, what a subtle nod."
Then I remembered that his alterations made them blank, and that that lack of colour differentiation is literally Adobe's real backstep choice...
Reality can be so disappointing.
I too love barfing gems to prove my childlike innocence and wonder
If you mix the 4 of them, you end up with something close to the emperor of mankind in Warhammer.
Glow all the time,
Make you feel better just by being nearby or when you look at him,
Can purge any negative energy with his incredible psychic power (including creating green fire),
And his armor is full of gems.
Thanks Jon to share this with us, now i know how and from where his armor gems come from.
If the US and Russia bomb each other to shit tomorrow over the Ukraine conflict, and Braco is still alive in the post apocalypse and forms a gang to conquer and unite the world, I will _Refuse_ to be surprised...
And that whole thing about a front heart and a back heart was because that video was meant for Astartes, not unaugmented humans.
I wonder what name the gem vomiters would have in the Warhammer universe
@@jjcoola998 Nurglite Gem Spitters
Just imagine what comes out the other end of gemstone man. Half his income probably goes straight to his plumber.
It doesn't come out, it goes in
🤮🔷️🔷️🔷️
😖💩🔷️💩
Ytube hidin' comments again ._.'
His stomach's a rock tumbler, and he shits out what remains.
Plumber: I don't know what exactly this guy's deal is, but this shit just bought me a summer house so I'm gonna keep my mouth shut!
9:35 I'm partial to the idea that someone knocks him out and force feeds him the gemstones, so he also buys the bullshit.
22:00 "what's your IQ?"
Bold to assume that she had any
I’m definitely convinced the second guy is the real deal. Anyone who looks that much like Gandalf has to have magical powers.
I thought that the gem vomit would be like "the gems absorbed my toxins and vomiting them up got rid of them"
Clearly I was thinking too rationally to truly understand Mychael's methods
And I mean that would still be crazy but at least 'forming crystals in your body' can actually happen. Usually means you've got something really wrong with your kidneys or you have GOUT, but it can happen-
Truly, no mortal can comprehend meaning behind his actions.
@@dr.altoclef9255 why did you punctuate your sentence with a hyphen
Because-
@@ryanhernandez8324 he just got cut off mid-
8:38, when you have multiple essays due at once.
I died when Braco said "I rather give free will to my fucking refrigerator" , so touching
JonTron’s sarcasm and satire is truly the gift that keeps on giving. Truly, he must be on the same chakra wavelength as the likes of Larry David
Except Larry David never said “we can’t populate America with foreign babies.” JonTron did.
@@CasperInkyMagoo I don't remember that. FFS, he's a first generation citizen. His parents came from the Middle East. Also when you have no debate experience and have to wing it against someone like Sargon of Akkad, you're gonna end up saying something stupid out of desperation.
@@CasperInkyMagoo ah yes, I guess you didn't get your turn with the brain cell today
@@Xboxzilla He said more than just that sentence...he said like, 90+ minutes worth of abhorrent shit.
@@RWR-nq4gd and no one seems to remember. Crazy.
You know, for a guy supposedly 'puking' up such large, hard and sharp objects, Mychael doesn't seem to be doing a lot of gagging or actual puking. You know, what would *actually* happen if he was doing this.
Really impressive too how he's able to separate the food contents of his stomach from the gems he's spitting up.
and the lack of blood, esophageal lining, and need for medial attention.
@@tibbus the guy needs more medical help than he can give to jon
I'm choosing to believe that Mycheal's cult started out as an _incredibly_ niche fetish, but as more people noticed him it turned into this. There's no way he'd have an audience otherwise. I NEED to believe this for my own sanity istg 😭💀
If shock videos from the 2010's have taught me anything, is that there's a strong "vomit fetish" out there. Big enough to warrant porn companies making videos like that. Just writing this gave me nausea.
@@arturocevallossoto5203 The Internet will bring about the downfall of man.
@@ryanhernandez8324 it already has.
@@ryanhernandez8324 So much is lost when the internet reveals the duplicitous nature of man but offers nothing in the way to stem our collective consciousness hemoraghing as a result. I hear many a friend complain in many creative ways about what you might describe as a sickness in their hearts, an overwhelming panic and sea of helpless feelings to ward off further systemic rot so omnipresent in our world at large. We sense it, us younger lot, having spent more of our lives online now, than not. Our interconnectedness is, frankly, just not something we've yet evolved a pragmatic coping response to. The Internet truly is as marvelous as it is often horrifying.
Maybe we ought to instill a healthy dose of respect for this technology which can so dramatically effect our lives. Ugh, but what an insanely nuanced approach that would require - just for people to even momentarily consider integration of this new belief system.
Curiously, I'm sort of inspired to attempt a bootstrap of such an idea. I wonder what form my grassroots movement would take? I'd start a church if I could, one of knowledge and enlightenment, collaborative efforts with researchers and big data management firms. I hope that a few weeks' worth of Google searches and open dialogs with others already active in this space will put me off to a good start. Perhaps I'll come back and append what I've discovered in a few weeks. xx
edit: I'm tickled pink that having just stumbled onto @JonTron tonight would lead me to challenge some globally held beliefs from within. The Internet is neat.
So it's like that robot chicken sketch where the Scottish guy when caught trying to bone his sheep says he's creating the bagpipes and then he has to kill his sheep and make bagpipes just to avoid getting called as a zoophile
8:19 This passive-aggressive energy he's giving off with this smile is more terrifying than any horror movie that has come out in the past three years.
when braco steps up at 22:25 he reminds me of a really fancy dog stepping up to a podium at a dog show
Reminds me of an afghan hound.
Lmao💀💀
Ooof
9:15 "How to kill myself without pain"
17:42 "How to kill yourself painfully"
*It's like poetry; it rhymes!*
How lovely!
My freshman year geometry teacher would put Braco the healer on the projector to watch over us while we were taking a test and relieve us whenever we got stressed out during it. I wish I made this up but this is 100% real
Lmao, did ot work?
praise braco ヾ(•ω•`)o
LMAO I BELIEVE U!
cause you can't make this shit up
Yeah did it work as intended? That's the vital part
It actually did work, to the point where some of my classmates literally begged to teacher to put him on the board if he forgot to.
Thank you, sir. Single Dad, and it's my 1st ever Christmas Eve away from my daughters...not a great time. As soon as I saw Ajna, I immediately thought you'd say it, but you pulled through with the, "...you lost me at Ajna.". It's a simple thing, but it made my evening so, thank you.
Merry Christmas
It was amazing, this one moment this guy was talking about how he could transport gems into his stomach, then suddenly my phone was talking about how the universe is Pringle shaped. It’s like the video never transitioned into an ad
Honestly, I want more of this kind of video from Jon. His wacky health-charlatan videos are easily his funniest uploads, hands down. This one in particular is on par with Goop, I'd say -- and I was *cackling* at each Goop episode lmao.
This was as good as Father of Juicing which was phenomenal. Absolutely want more JonTron gold like this.
I’m a big fan of the edged weapon survival video. SMENS is more than a safety technique, it’s a way of life.
Always a surprise, Jon. And always a welcomed one.
Amen
A surprise,to be sure, but a welcome one.
see you in three to six months!
JonTron always makes me feel better
@@ssfbob456 beat me to it