Wow! Lots to think about in that saying. And the key word here is "absence" I think--you can live in the same house as someone and still feel absence, and in today's world loved ones can feel close even if they're physically far away (a Facetime call with a child or grandchild isn't the same as face-to-face, but it's pretty darn good). If there's a disconnect, with no effort to stay connected in some way, that's true absence and it's probably time to make other connections as much as possible. We all need them.
@@phebagirlsmith3228 Truer words have never been spoken... Painfully True. Reality is a Birch! The only positive thing that should come from this realization, there is NO REASON FOR VENGEANCE! Carrying around that burden of Hatefulness eats at your insides emotionally, so why plan to "Get Back". My first life BIG LESSON was the only real pay back to those that dislike you is to never live DOWN to others low expectations of you and always be a success and take the HIGH ROAD without Bitterness, Hatefulness nor Revenge.
I have two daughters. One would literally unplug oxygen if I had that to live. Her father turned her against me years ago. He cheated on me and after our divorce married 5 months later. She is still on his side all these years later. She’s 40. I doubt she’d ever change, and she’s not in my life. My other daughter, who’s 30, very recently layed into me over some house issues I had, and then went on to rip me a new one about how she thinks I was awful to my mother (don’t even know where that came from). I took my mom in after my dad died, and she had dementia. It was difficult, and my daughter never helped me with her. So did I occasionally lose my cool? Yes. I was frustrated and exhausted. But I did my best. I later did need to put her in a dementia unit at a local nursing home, because she was not eating, and her dementia had worsened. But seeing how my daughter didn’t help me at all should’ve been my clue. I started thinking about how she doesn’t go to give me a hug on an occasional visit. She doesn’t say I love you. She offers (sometimes) to help me do something and then backs out. Then she forgets she offered to help and then tells me in a rude, condescending way, that I can’t do anything by myself, that everything that’s gone wrong in my life is my fault. Wow. And now we barely talk at all. So will I leave anything to them? Hell no. Neither one of them has ever apologized for anything. So why in hell would I leave them anything? They never appreciated what I did do for them. Leaving them anything would be like rewarding bad behavior. Like saying it was ok to disrespect me, take advantage of me, not appreciate what I did for them. So no, I won’t be leaving them anything.
I took care of Mom who had dementia. During this time Dad wad diagnosed with advanced cancer. I had moved in to care for them full time. Both of their biggest fear was going into a rest home, so with help fron visiting nurses and aides i was able to keep them in their home. When they passed on to God I stayed in the home in which I grew up. I am now in my 70s. I still live here. It was an honor to care for my dear parents.
My brother lives in the same town as my Mum. He has always been unpleasant with her, and has now not seen her for 7 years. I live 70 miles, and spend two long weekends a month with her. He knows she had a bad fall 2 years ago but never enquired after her.
@@linconnery6211 They're busy with their lives, their friends, jobs and interests. Busy world today, impossible to keep up with everything. Get a life.
Got a life, thanks! But it's still my stuff, my choice. If you, Alan, choose to leave your worldly goods to those who have so many "friends and interests" that they can't manage to be in touch once in a while, that will be your choice, too. I wish you well.
@linconnery6211 I haven't committed or decided. I suffer from the same question but do get a positive response sometimes and enjoy quality time when it will be set aside. Many obligations and look at the rents these days! I keep remembering what it was like when I was younger. Visiting parents was more rare. Leaving the nest.
What about when a sociopath sibling (sister) wants to have Mom all to herself , defamation, insulting, lying, continually, but she wont take care of Mom in a weakened condition, sister is mad that you care for Mom , sister has “poa” , sister takes 98% of inheritance
Thank you for such a great idea. Domestic abuse shelters for women and children, Veterans Homes may be good ideas, but research them first to make sure the CEO isn't making fabulous money, but hardly any going toward the real purpose. Blessings
I’ve scrimped and saved and done without things all my life. I’m not rich but what I do have is going to the person who comes by and checks on me routinely and asks nothing in return. A niece of my husband. Such a sweet young lady. Helps me with the tech stuff I can’t figure out, takes me to dinner and texts if she can’t come by within a day or so to check on me. ❤
Very nice nice you have. My children does all medical for me and technology stuff. If no one does for me I would have left it for charity. But in my case my kids will get what’s left. Fix income here.
Man am i so happy to have found you. Im 68, still driving a truck, have no kids. Money keeps coming in and all i do is work. I want to give $50 bills toworking people i encounter. Grocery store folks, fast food workers, random people. What fun !
I usually tip 50%. One time, I gave a $1,000 tip to a hardworking single waitress rearing her disabled son at home. (I'm single and don't have any children.)
I'm sure you're blessing others! I'd love to win the lottery to just "make it rain" for single moms, elders, and others obviously struggling. Bless you.
Get out of your comfort zone... join some organizations so you can meet someone to share yourself with, not necessarily at a bar. There are plenty of ppl looking for someone like you. Life is short. Use your dollars to create one.
@@Philipbuono77Do they have legitimate reasons they cannot visit you like health issues, or they chose to have multiple kids and now have many priorities, do they call you or you call them to find our what is going on, did you take care of your parents as an example to them growing up and spend time with them to build up a relationship, did you notice they were materialistic and immoral as they were growing up or did they change after marriage? These are questions you should ask before cutting them off.
For you and like minded people maybe but people who know me are doing fine. I'd leave mine to help animal welfare. People who know me would expect me to do that & wouldn't feel rebuffed.
generally your being taken advantage of, and treated like sh it. this has actually been normalized in our society. for someone to have value, for them to feel like they have value, being ignored, "im to busy" aka f off, and treated like a 3rd rate being is totally normal. but on the flip side, they will treat their, nasty, smelly, dirty, dog, better than people, and this has been totally normalized, and accepted by the masses of mouth breathers out there. then the cant figure out why they are alone, nobody wants them. i wont even date a woman who has pets, thats how bad it it. this is where we are at presently it. confusion at its finest.
Sometimes people have massive regret. Young family with children might be very busy looking after kids and not see parents so much. Grandparents can take the lead and offer help
My dad’s 96, still kicking and living on his own. All us 3 kids live far away, but see him as often as we can and call a lot. It in order to live at home, he has a lot of local neighbors and caregivers that are like family. I hope he gives them all something when he goes. He doesn’t owe us a thing; he raised us and had our backs when we had problems or screwed up. What he does with his is money is none of my business.
I’m glad I found your channel..and your thoughts. I’m 71 and the one child I had (in my early 50’s) was so incredibly and deliberately brainwashed against me after I divorced her mother, that I haven’t seen her since she was 13. I adored her and would gladly have died for her…as any parent would. This inheritance issue has been weighing on me. It’s not at all her fault, but if she doesn’t want to hear “the other side of the story” before I die…then The Animal Shelter makes complete sense to me. My very old, blind dog has given me nothing but pure love for the last 12 years, and that is a very precious thing that I don’t take for granted for even a second.
@@coldisle i feel this if you leave them nothing then they might feel that you hated them and I wouldn’t want to die thinking that as there last thoughts of me
@@Philipbuono77 Then leave them a letter telling them how much you cared for them & how you would have cherished their presence in your life !! BUT leaving them money is just as good as telling them that it was fine to ignore you because you don’t matter . They’re just as likely to think you owe them , their mother may have poisoned their memories but that is no excuse . Did you pay child support ? If you really feel torn about it leave them $500 & tell them it’s to pay for the dinner you would have loved to share with them. Animal shelters are very worthy & so are children fighting cancer or children Ive seen whose eyes have been removed because of cancer when only toddlers, ( so many ) So back to dogs wonderful guide dogs who become the eyes for those children , do you see where I’m going ? Is that selfish child thinking you hate them because you didn’t reward their neglect more important than those little kids who will never actually SEE their daddy even when hugging him.? Write a letter telling her you donated the money to training guide dogs & whatever charities you choose in her name . If she was 2 when you split up she may be confused but 13 ? If you adored her why doesn’t she remember you ? She’s a selfish brat who is probably waiting on that inheritance. Ok enough from me ♥️
@@gina_dee.1111my comments are being deleted huh okay please let them work for their money and you live your best days it's not about money it's about you ❤
Sadly enough not true everywhere. In at least one Canadian province, a child left out of a parent's Will is entitled to contest it based on whether the parent met their 'moral obligation' to child. This forces the estate to defend the reasons for the choices of the deceased. Idea apparently is that parents are obliged to make every reasonable effort to resolve conflicts and take into account adult child challenges or risk being found by a judge to have not met moral obligation.
I went to counseling with my “angry son.” I said I just wanted a little appreciation for all I did for him (private school, helping him through a medical condition, paid for college, help him get his first car, and living with me for 8 years rent free after he turned 18) His answer was… “Why should I be grateful for something you were required to do as a parent?” As a Marine Corps Veteran, I will be buried at sea and leave everything to the dogs and Veterans.
I have had almost the exact life experience (paid college, cars, trips, weddings), one son has not spoken to me in over ten years for what reason I have no idea despite numerous attempts, other son has no time for visits, etc. Former USMC, have done well as a business owner, ....dogs and Veterans. Cremated ashes in an old rusty coffee can.
I just wanted to comment: everybody please make sure to make provisions for your animals in case you pass away. There are so many sad cases of dogs, cats and other animals left behind with no backup plan. That's why I love the idea of donations to no-kill shelters. They are needed.
There are some amazing programs lut there now for this and they need even more volunteers, fosters, and locations. My Grandad's Cat is one. She takes in nursing home and senior death pets and finds them new loving homes. It's a wonderful idea!
@@sheelfjohnson my brother found a dog running in the busy streets, he tried finding the owner for two weeks, no chip no collar. He called me to see if I could adopt him but I already had 3 dogs. I advised him to call my elderly aunt and uncle who love animals and had recently lost their beloved dog. I told my brother if she couldn’t take him, I would. They were able to take him with the promise from me that if anything happened to them that I would take him, I agreed. After a few years my uncle passes, then two years later my aunt passed from COVID. I had since moved to Texas (they were in California)and this happened during COVID. I called my mother in law in California to see if she could hold on to the dog until we could drive out there at the end of the month, she agreed. She is a very nice lady but not an animal person. Long story short, after two weeks she asked if she could keep the dog, she had fell in love with the little guy. About 2 years later my mother in laws condo complex had a huge fire and she lost her condo. Best part of this story is she and the dog now live with us, I get my mother in law and my aunts dog……I’m sure my aunt is smiling down from heaven at all of us with all the love her dog receives on a daily basis……God bless all animal lovers and all Gods creatures.❤️❤️❤️
I'm living it. My father is the only person that cares I exist. I have no friends. I have no women. I have nothing and no one in my life. My dad doesn't have any money, but he gives me his time. That's worth more than gold to me.
Have you considered learning to play a music instrument? It will keep you busy, entertained, and eventually you will play with other people and think of them as friends.
I am 63 I think will end up alone and die alone. If you have empty bedrooms. Find some borders your own age to have fellowship with. Turn your house into a a sanctuary for single retired men like your self.
I am 63, have 5 daughters. Only one is close to my husband and I. She calls me daily to check in on me. Had spinal surgery 10 months ago, she was present for me. Other daughters: no hear, no see, even took our grandkids away from us. I was present for their births and was very attached to the gkids. Did many things for and with them. Broke our hearts. We still grieve for the gkids. But we have to move on and live our own lives. Yesterday one of the estranged ones reached out asking for $, we did not respond. I am enjoying my peace.
How disgusting to ask for money when you've chosen to be estranged. Good for you for not even replying. I feel like my kids use me, and I'm stalling having a Trust drawn up because of this issue.
Similar position here. We love our 3 grandsons but our daughter's family is always too busy to drive 2 hours to visit us. She loves to have us drive to visit her. My wife and I always loved to spend time with our grandparents, but that isn't the case with our grandsons, and they never have the opportunity to see what it would be like. It's a shame.
@@fastmph Not at all........ Our daughter and husband used to bring the grandchildren up every Sunday to visit which was lovely when they were young but age 10 and nine, they were getting really bored so told them just to make it fortnightly or even monthly. Finally aged 13 and 14 we had to tell them just to enjoy their own lives with their friends and we'd see them at birthdays, Christmas etc. They still appear at the door now and then on their own but that's fine as I can recall being dragged off to vist my gran one weekend then aunties and uncles after that, at an age when you want weekends with friends! So long as they're happy, we're happy and they'll get all our £100,000+ cash and £230,000 flat if we pass without needing care homes!
I wasn't the best son but I showed up every Sunday for my dad's fried chicken. He loved to cook for other people. I have 8 siblings and they only visited when they wanted something. My father and I were not very close until after I returned from the military. In the end I took care of my dad while he struggled with dementia. All my siblings insisted I put him in a home. They were of little to no use in the final years. My dad and I became best friends in those last days. Taking care of an elderly parent is not easy but it was the greatest time of my life. I lost my best friend but he died in his home with a son that loved him. I encourage everyone to take care of their parents no matter the cost. Do not put them in a home. It's your duty and you will have zero regrets.
I regret having my dad live with me his last three years. I found out he was a deeply unpleasant man. I still feel traumatised by it. He confessed all manner of things.
It’s not your duty. Each person must decide how much or how little they want to put into the care of an elderly parent based on their past and present experiences and relationship with that parent.
@@ltdodgen Yes it is your duty. It's called the circle of life and that's the way it's been since the dawn of civilization. Your parents took care of you as an infant and in return you take care of them when they're elderly. I'm sure there are valid exceptions but too many people take the easy road and stick them in a home for mere convenience. Even the government encourages you to abandon elderly parents. The government would rather pay literally thousands of dollars per month to a nursing home but wouldn't give me a single penny to take care of my dad at home. I quit my job and spent all my savings in the final 2 years. Best money I ever spent.
How are they ungrateful? Did he ask them to come visit? Did he make an attempt to get them to visit? Did he call them? Did he ask them to call him? Did he just sit there waiting quietly?
@@fanfeck2844 He never said he was talking about his kids. He said "family and friends". So I agree with DebbiesWorld. I wonder if he ever shared his feelings with these people. They may not know that he would like to see more of them. We live in a very isolated society, and people often leave you alone because they don't want to intrude. They may be lonely too and would welcome him reaching out to them.
I only had one child, a daughter and she is the one that is very well off! And, what a remarkable joy she has been to me her whole life. As an adult, she not only bought me a house, she bought me a car and all my appliances and helps me with money for food and anything else that I want or need. I do feel bad that I don’t have anything to leave her though. But she doesn’t really need any money! I do have wonderful grandchildren, but they are busy with their own lives, just as I was when I was young. they contact me occasionally telling me how much they love me and that is all I need! Boy, I sure am lucky❤
Do you have any family keepsakes that your daughter might like? If you ask her now, you can give them to her now so she can enjoy them while you’re still alive. 😊 I’ve always liked jewelry, so my Mom gave my sister and me each a ring before she died so there was no arguing! I rec’d the larger diamond ring as I helped my parents in their later years. My sister rarely even phoned Mom. She’d tell her she ways so busy at work she couldn’t find time to call. So I mentioned to Mom that I found it hard to believe her as she was always sending me many jokes & cartoons on the internet almost every day. Her daughter had to drive by Mom’s apt both in the morning and after work. She rarely dropped in or called. Her brother was worse. Never visited or called, but had his hand out as soon as he found out she’d died!! So glad to hear you have a wonderful daughter! My son had a beautiful, caring heart …. Until he got married. The mi.l. Is the same as her daughter! And yet, I am the bitch!!! Oh well, I try not to think about them as it makes me sad. I just live as if I don’t have a child. AND, from ladies in my area I’ve discovered it is, unfortunately, quite common for Mom to get ignored,etc after their sons marry. Their loss. Not ours! 😊 Time for bed (2:38am)
I give my inheritance away a little bit each day. When I dine out if the server is great, I give an unexpectedly large tip. I've bought friends things as a surprise. An example of that was a friend of mine once posted a picture of a painting on Facebook and said "I've always wanted to paint or draw but don't think I'd be any good." So, I went to an art store and bought them some basic art supplies and sent it off as a surprise with a note saying "It doesn't matter if you are any good or not. Just do it for the joy of creating and trying". I read a lot and when I finish a book that I know a friend would love I send a copy as a surprise. I have a favorite bagel shop and the owner and all the staff are friendly and we have long conversations together. One day I sent the whole shop (only 4 people) a gift of a lunch delivery. They got to choose the day and the place for the delivery so they would have it after work. I didn't tell them it was from me just that it was someone who always enjoyed talking to them. My basic rule in life is never ignore a generous impulse. It's made my life so much better. (And for the record, I have two daughters who I taught to live the same way. They are great women and I"m very fortunate. We laugh that they won't get "generational wealth" from me but I think they got much more than mere money. They agree.)
I live similarly and enjoy spreading love and happiness. It's sad that so many don't know that the gift of generosity works both ways, and no, you don't need to have loads of money to do it, if it's thoughtful, the worth is beyond price. Generosity of time is another example of heartfelt giving. ❤
I leaving nothing to my family..Im leaving my entire estate to the most irresponsible person i know. My son, who comes to see me. My son borrows money, doesn't offer help, but him being here for Sunday dinner is nice. He makes cards for holidays & birthdays. He is always employed, just low paying jobs. He has a good heart, he loves all animals.
Sounds like he IS a great guy. Just curious, if you asked him, would he HELP you if you were also working on something? You don't have to reply. I was thinking he MIGHT just not THINK to help. He may have ADHD which can make you absolutely paralyzed when it comes to doing things.
He may have an undiagnosed learning disability. A good heart is everything. He shows his love in the cards. I wish my son understood these gestures meaning. I think my son has undiagnosed autism.
I'm 64. I have been let down by my family too. I won't elaborate but I've learned a hard lesson about people. My 38 year old daughter cut me out of her life 4 years ago. I have not seen my beloved little grandson since then. He's only 6 now. I feel very lonely at times.. which is human. We should never apologise for feeling vulnerable. People can be utter shits. I've been far too soft and trusting and giving in my life. I agree with you... animals are better. Complete love.
I told my dad not to leave my brother and I a penny. To spend it on HIMSELF. That makes us the happiest! He'll be 88 in a couple months, and he's living his life to the fullest!!
I told my parents the same thing. They worked so hard to give us a good life, it was so rewarding to see them enjoy life as much as they could in their later years.
Our two daughters said the same thing to us. Spend you all’s money on yourselves. We don’t need you all to leave us money. You two gave us a wonderful childhood, sent us to a good private school & college. Taught us right from wrong. I’m retired & my husband still working because he enjoys his job. One calls me everyday to check on me. The other one works from home & either calls or texts. I’m so grateful we have 2 caring daughters.
I am 90 and that is what I am doing. I am responsible with it because if, God forbid ,I live to a hundred, I don't want to run out of money and be a burden to society or anyone else.
My son is estranged and he's getting $1. I'm leaving my house and belongings to a friend. I live alone in a wheelchair, he's 4 blocks away and can't even come by to check on me. He's getting nothing.
Just a word of caution. My attorney advised me to specifically say that whoever you wanted to disinherit was getting zero. If you say you’re leaving them one dollar, then the attorneys are obligated to track that person down to make sure that they get their dollar before your estate can be settled. If your estranged son is long gone and can’t be found at that point, it could tie up your estate. In my will it specifically says they are to receive nothing.
I'm so very very sorry. My son, whom I love dearly, doesn't want anything to do with me. I always loved him and hugged him and kissed him and treat him with love. I simply don't know what happened. It truly has ruined my life
You raise an interesting question, one I’ve thought often about. My life flipped several years ago when my husband of 25 years discovered whiskey and left, I moved to a small home that I could afford as a retiree, 4 months later it burned and I and my two dogs were trapped and barely made it out. 3 months later my only child stopped speaking to me. I can count on one hand how many people reached out to see how I was. My faith in people plummeted. But through this, my two faithful dogs have never left my side. I’m with you, dogs are the BEST ❤ So after that long story, I’m leaning hard toward the animal shelter 🐶🐶
God bless you! I'm 72 and so sorry you have been through so much!! Life is not easy, but I make it through because of my faith in God!! Wish I felt like I could afford to adopt a dog, but the possibility of vet bills is frightening. I like the idea of animal rescues!!
@@bettyjohnson2964 thank you Betty, my faith is strong but I admit, at times I am weary. I used to work with a dog rescue organization, they always need foster homes and the cost is covered by them. Sometimes the cost for adoption can be sponsored by someone who has the money but can’t have a dog, maybe there’s a way for you to have a companion 🙏🏻 God bless you 💙
@@laurellewis1638 Oh, thanks so much!! Yes, I have been thinking about looking at the requirements to foster a dog!! Because of your encouragement I am going to check into that this week!! But I know it would be so hard to give up the foster dog!! But it would be better to have love and companionship for a while rather than none at all, and then I know there would be another dog waiting to be fostered!! I have also thought about volunteering at the humane society here!! God bless you for caring so much about the homeless dogs!! ❤️🙏🙏
@@bettyjohnson2964 You can always foster a dog. That way, you are a temporary caretaker. It gets dogs and cats out of the shelter, provides you with companionship and the vet bills are paid. Give it a try!
Strange that this channel just showed up. I am alone except for my 4 legged friends. Lost my only son to an accidental fentanyl OD 5 years ago. Only child I have left has no time for me. They were not raised in a dumpster fire type life. I spent time with my kids. Took them to see their grandparents for holidays because I thought family was important. We had fun. I took them camping, fishing, encouraged them to be good people. Didn’t have a parade of men in and out of their lives after their father left. I gave up my life to be a good mom. I understand my only child has a life and her own family. She has responsibilities a husband and children. I do not tell her how to raise them, say bad things about her husband or but into their lives. They never come see me. Call occasionally comes thru. Coming up on the holidays and I will be alone again this year. Last year they didn’t have time so I took my horse and dog camping for the holidays. Decided to do that again this year. I don’t get it. I loved my mom and dad. Took care of mom after dad died. Called her travelled every other week to help her keep her house and yard up. Brought her to my home when she could no longer live alone. I do not see that happening for me. I will probably die in my back pasture and they will find my skeletal remains after the buzzards have picked my bones. That’s okay. Going to contact an attorney and have a trust set up to care for my faithful dog and horse after the “Silly Season” is over. Grew up in the 60’s life and attitudes sure were different. Not an ugly woman, stay active and take care of my farm and self. All my friends are still married or chasing after another husband prospect. I’m doing what I got to do. Pain is a part of life misery is an option. I choose not to be a miserable old woman. My money is going to someone other than ungrateful kid and grandkids. I never imagined it would be this way. Is there something in the water and air these days?? It’s going to be okay. That’s my thoughts on it.
I know a guy who was hammered real bad when we were deployed overseas, he had four sisters who came to visit him in the hospital, one at a time, not to cheer him up, not to bring him flowers or cookies, not to bring him magazines or books but to see if he had a will and if they were in it and NOT the other three. When they found out that they were not in his will, they left and he hasn't seen nor heard from them since, that was 15 years ago. Meanwhile, dozens of soldiers from his unit came to visit, some from 100 miles away, with all kinds of gifts and NOBODY asked about his will. Guess who's in his will now.
That's so heartbreaking to hear. Selfish, greedy people really suck. I didn't even know my Dad had an insurance policy that I was the beneficiary on, and not my brother. When my Dad was diagnosed with Parkinson's disease in 2013, I drove 4 hours one way every weekend to spend weekends at his care home with him. I slept on his couch. He loved ice cream, so I took him out for that and leisurely drives. My brother lived a half hour drive away and only visit Dad once a month or less. He would go there just to whine about his financial debts that he incurred via his greed. Dad gave him a little money each visit, then bro would call me whining that Dad was cheap. In the end he got a little money, but not enough to get out of debt. My dad passed in 2018. Sorry about long read. I talk too much on here.
@gogo-word So do dogs. We've lost 4 to Heaven since 1999. The last to say good bye was 5/23. Still grieving. Hubs died 3 weeks ago today. We all go eventually. Make today count, be the cause of someone's smile, take care of yourself, tell those that are near and dear to you that you love them. Leave what you want to those that are worthy. including some to pet shelter while you are still living. Have A blessed day!!
73, got a son and a daughter. The daughter doesn’t ever call or visit. My son calls every now and then. But I never see him, he lives 100 miles away. I took care of my mom for 20 years. Nobody is here except my pets. I know that’s the way it is for lots of seniors. I’m going to visit my 98 year old mom today. She has severe dementia, but she still loves to see me.
I'm 72 and have a sister who really doesn't want to be around me since she has a boyfriend now. I never had children, and dog died years ago. But I enjoy feeding the squirrels and birds in my yard. I really want to adopt a small dog, but with inflation the way it is, I am hesitant to commit to that expense, especially for any vet bills. God bless you!! It is not easy being old and alone!! ❤🙏🙏
We live round the corner from our only child, she visits twice a day my Grandson runs in to say hi before he goes to school then pops in when he finishes school to tell us the gossip lol, I’m very sorry your family is like this. I’m a new subscriber so I’m Irish and I can tell a bloody good yarn so may the wind be always at yer back. Give your money to whoever you want
Phil, I believe this is the CULTURE of the day. Children are taught they are ENTITLED. As a young girl, 80 yrs ago ,we did chores etc. We were expected to work and be independent. Technology is a gift that is a 2 edge sword. It is ruining AMERICA.
@@karenglenn6707It can be helpful as well. I have 8 siblings and we are all on a thread - we live all over N. America. Able to keep up with each other. Dad died at home at 89 with his kids taking care of him - the out of towners came as often as for as long as they could. Mom has had dementia since Dad died - all kids are involved in her care. Not all families are bad - they are loving and caring and know how much they owe their parents.
I’m 75 this month. It’s August…. The eighth month of the year. We have a son, and a daughter who live in the same town. We saw our son once this year, and our daughter twice. You know… “they’re very busy.” We made a will years ago. I want to change it, my husband doesn’t. I told him, if he dies before me, the first thing I’m doing is changing that will. Not bitter, I just don’t think it should be expected.
You should have a separate will from your husband and can change it at any time. You do not have to wait until he passes away. If you are worried about his reaction just simply do it quietly. It's your life and your business.
Well your husband can change his Will to how he wants....but, he can't force you to change your Will to how 'he' wants! Stand on your own two feet and do as you wish, no need to tell him. What if you die first? I don't know where my kids live, they moved some years ago and didn't bother to notify me, but sure as hell you can be they will soon remember where I live when the time comes and will have their hands out. I'd love to be a fly on the wall to see their faces, because they will get SBA. Half goes to the dog's shelter and the other half to medical research (in line with a chronic illness I suffer from).
To all of the people on here planning to leave money other than to relatives make sure your will is water tight. Over here in England if you're old and dont want your will challenged there are several things you need to do . I have just been researching this for someone in a similar situation. First you need to have an appointment with your doctor to for him to fill out a sworn document that youare of sound mind. Secondly write a letter to the person(s) who may be expecting your money explaining why they aren't getting it. Also write a letter to the person or charity who is getting the money explaining why. Keep these with your solicitor, neither person needs to know until after your demise. 3rd add a clause that they (the person expecting the money) cannot contest the will. If your will involves property it may be better to leave it to the person to sell as allowing your solicitor to do that can take ages. Don't forget to take out insurance on the property until it is sold. What my research revealed is that spending money on a respected solicitor and not being thrifty in this particular matter is money well spent if you want to ensure the people you want to inheritance your money do so. There are so many horror stories of greedy relatives challenging and winning the right to money that they were never meant t to have because of a poorly written will open to a different interpretation. 😊
I’ve been on the dementia journey, with my late wife. I too, recognise the isolation, from family & friends. I am also a millionaire, in assets. When I’m dead, all my estate is divided up between charities & I have left a small pecuniary legacy to one or two friends, who did help me through my five year journey of caring full time for my beloved wife of 37 years. The family, ran off, when caring needed to be done. My wife’s children from a first marriage, we never saw them for the last three years of her life. I never even told them she had died - I don’t want that kind of scum, ‘paying their respects’ when there wasn’t any. No regrets from me. Namaste 🙏
@@speciallion1135 Sorry to hear about your wife. I have a few people in my family with dementia and have seen the same. My mother in law with severe dementia has been abandoned by her sisters & brother. When she was well she always had them over. My cousin has dementia and her brother took over POA but barely bothers to see her. I would say travel and enjoy yourself and maybe donate a little to your favorite local charities now so you can enjoy seeing the gratitude and joy your gifts bring. 💗
My husband had a stroke 12 years ago, and his behavior changed dramatically. My stepsons rarely came to spend time after that. He was a really good dad. I gave them time to process the differences, but nothing changed. My son has been there at every difficult change. My daughter is very supportive, but lives across the country. She still came at intervals and called. Last year my husband became aggressive and hateful to me. He is now in memory care. We let my stepsons know. A year later, they still haven't called him. They'll get nothing.
Veterans’ groups are getting some of mine. The bulk of my estate is going to the grand-niece who moved from Puerto Rico to California to take care of me while I underwent cancer treatment. When I had complications from the chemo, she slept on the floor of my room for 2 nights, and dedicated a year of her life to me. Not one complaint. Ever. She will never have to worry about making ends meet.
@@Galaxy-ho2pk This is where you get "save the whales" donations. I am very opinionated related to donating to saving ocean wildlife, when we have homeless human beings. No one has ever challenged, why an organization will help ocean wildlife, instead of saving human beings who actually can be saved from poverty. Animales do not spend currency so why should currency be put in to animals? With all these outside of public schools and alternative hospitals, they dont help everyone who needs educations and hospital care. St Judes is one hospital. Why would anyone donate to a hospital, they can't go to?
I was the adult child who had to go no contact with a cruel narcissistic parent, for my own protection. I was written out of the will, of course, but don't care. I got back my sanity, which is worth more than money.
@@lessmith7998 Thank you. Others have told me the same. If we compared notes we would probably relate to each other's experiences. Narcissists are very predictable.
You are so much better off! I'm autistic and have just learned of this. I had to go n/c and am learning to be a man at 38. Take care from the southern interior of BC
Since you brought this up, I’ve realized that the ppl that care about me most, are the ones who can answer the most personal questions about me. Some family you see-but they don’t care about you---they are all about $$. Screw them all. It’s your money--IT IS YOUR MONEY WHEN YOU ARE ALIVE. You don’t owe them 💩
im about to be 59. shortly before my grandmother passing at 90, she asked me if i knew how many grand kids she had? not knowing? she said a grand total of 65. i was impressed! she also told me i was the only one who would religiously come see her for no reason, do lawn work, shovel snow, fix n paint things, without ever being asked, "unpaid of course" shes my grandma, and never once asked her for money. she left me with a good memory, and a desk. the praise she gave me was worth millions in my mind, and i will always hold that dear. its easy to be like the other 64, it pays to be different.
My grandmother died in October at 99. The last ten years or so of her life I spent a lot of time talking with her. The wisdom I received and just talking with her is something I will always treasure.
I agree with the decision to give to an animal shelter. Not only will the animals benefit but it will bring joy to the people who love and take care of them. What ever is left in my savings will go in that direction. Hopefully I will have enough to give my favorite shelter to get a mobile unit for emergency services.
Wow.... I've been thinking about this same thing so much lately. I'm pushing 70, I live alone with my awesome cat, and my relatives don't give a rat's ass about me. My late father was a veterinarian, so I've always loved critters. You are so right. Thank you for this video.
I have 3 siblings. The eldest, for the final 10 years never visited my mother. No birthday cards, mothers day flowers or Christmas gifts. Not even a telephone call in all that time. When she sadly passed away. He and his wife demanded the estate be sliced up 4 ways equally. My mother had sensibly made a will that left everything to my youngest brother who had lived with her for 10 years, also becoming her carer. I had made my own fame and fortune in life, therefore encouraged the choice she made. Karma, i believe is the quote😉
In some countries you are not permitted to leave out a child from your inheritance. The law says that all offspring get equal shares regardless of anything else
Hearing silence from my grandchildren now that they are in their 20's hurts. I do not feel obligated to leave my $ to someone like that. I love them but owe them nothing. I spent weekends with them and gave them everything I could as children. My son is the only one that is here for me. I owe him for that.
I’m an older guy. I think back to when I was younger - running the household. Wife, kids, job, bills, etc etc - it’s a lot to keep up with and those things have to take priority. I was good to my kids, I did it right, they moved on and are successful and that’s what I wanted. They do keep in touch - not as much as I’d like but they have their own life now - I can’t be angry with them. They aren’t here to keep me entertained. No need to be spiteful - life never works out the way you want or expect. Go out of this world being a good person.
I am of this mindset 100% Things could be better but I raised them to live their own lives and they are doing exactly that, better than I ever did. They are actually happy and well adjusted humans :)
Sounds like all they care about is themselves. The sad part is, it's a sign of the times. Just a tidbit of info, they have calculated that for the first time in mankind's history more than 50% of people in the US are irresponsible. It all adds up now doesn't it.
I never felt my mom and dad owed me anything. It was their money. My dad had passed, but I encourage my mom to enjoy the fruit of HER labors. That’s not mine, it’s hers.
This! If I could give you more than one thumbs-up, I would. I consider my true inheritance to be what my parents taught me about living life with a good attitude, kindness toward others, and generosity, among other things like the joy of music and laughter and family. No amount of money compares. They worked hard for decades, and they took care of us kids well, and were generous with us, well into our adult years. But like you, I never felt like they owed me---it was their money; they earned it, it was theirs to do with as they wished on whatever they enjoyed.
I"ve seen other families fight about every little thing and want nothing to do with that kind of behavior. When my father was getting on in years he talked to me about his estate and what he thought would be left. My response was enjoy yourself, it's yours and if he timed it right he would spend his last dollar on the day he died but, if he ran out of money first then not to worry,...
@@oliviacasino8888 Thank you, Oliviacasino! I'm a second generation American---my grandparents came to the US as teens in the early 1900s, worked hard, and made a good life for themselves, my dad and his siblings; I think that has helped my perspective also---I don't take certain things for granted. I'm nearing retirement myself now, and I know that my grandparents and my parents had worked much harder than I ever had to. Sometimes I'm astounded at the entitled attitude that some people have. My family's life wasn't perfect, but that doesn't mean it wasn't a good life all-in-all. I've always considered myself fortunate to have the family I had/have. Blessings of good health and good spirits to you, Oliviacasino!
All my family and friends were great. Then I got cancer. I was sick for years. My Dad, my daughter and one friend were there for me. My Dad has passed away my friend has moved on my Daughter calls me everyday and spends time with me. I see she is my only cheerleader. My dog was there through it all after 15 years he passed. Everything is my daughter's. She decided we should go on trips now go shopping now. We got rid of my stuff she does not want. Hopefully I live a lot longer but I feel better knowing almost everything is in order.
Sorry to hear that your dog passed on. 15 years is a long life for a dog. You must have taken good care of him. When I am older, I don't think I will have another dog (because what happens to it when I die?), but I might volunteer to walk a nice dog who lives in my neighborhood. That would give me some nice dog time, but without the responsibility.
yes, your little one line answer got over 100 likes in the last month!! Why it is almost like a "me too" movement! I don't see my sister, but I think I will give what I have to her. It is enough to change her life for the better.
There is nothing worse than coming to the realisation that your family don't love you, have never loved you, and only include you because of the obligation they have to you. It can be shattering and undermining if you are not emotionally mature enough to deal with it. But I say go for it - remove yourself from them permanently as I have done, and you will never look back. Leave your money to someone who really needs it.
I tried and tried to be there for my son. He couldn't do the slightest thing for me. I am having LOTS of fun with "his" inheritance. And the house and what's left will go to some folks that have been very good to us. Do what's in your heart.
Our family started out dysfunctional arguing and never having each other's back at a early age... And now we're in our 60s and it's pretty much the same .. when I die everybody can fight over it.. maybe the state will win...😮
Local charities, definitely the way to go. But consider doing it through a trust fund. As far as I'm aware they will make sure the money is not frittered away. Dumping a huge amount of money of a small charity might invoke someone's inner demons - if you get my drift.........
Boy, you must have been reading my mind. My husband passed 4 1/2 years ago and I moved away 4 months later. Only one niece came to see me last Thanksgiving for a week. Another blood niece got divorced and moved in with me for a few months. She ended up buying a house and ended up with a major plumbing issue and no money to pay for repairs. She borrowed it from me and because of the economy, she made a few $75 payments a while back. She lives an hour away but rarely comes around. At 75, widowed, no kids, I am really alone. I feel used and looking to change my will and turn it into a living trust and leave everything to a no kill animal shelter. I am like you. Animals have treated me better than most of my family.
NO! My only sister and her only daughter never call or write. My sister made it clear to me she never wants to see me again and she has somehow poisoned her daughter. I have texted my niece several times and after a long delay she gives a short answer, but never asks how I am or if I need anything. I have decided that I will not text her anymore. If any contact is made she will contact me. I was very sad about this, but just woke up one day, literally, and thought that I need to move on. I made a friend my executor to handle things including my wishes after cremation. He will receive the ashes and follow my wishes. As for my will and taking care of final expenses, he will see that all bills are paid, have an estate sale and see that residual funds are distributed as I requested. It took a while to get it finished, but I slept so well that night knowing that everything was settled without my blood family and the tension and ugliness of the last few years. At this point in time, I feel they are no longer part of my life, as they wished, and I am no longer part of theirs and I am very much at peace with that. No guilt.
When my mother was alive I took care of her for at least 25 years. I made sure her bills were paid and she had heat and cooling and food in her home. I did the plumbing and did maintenance work for her and took her on vacations and for years my sisters never would visit her. My sisters and their kids never contact me. I tried calling my older on her birthday and her welfare living son answered her phone and told me to quit calling her. My other sister lives 50 miles from me and the same. I am leaving my entire estate to four friends. The "beneficiary deed" was just recorded this week. I am so glad I did this.
My parents are so special to me had the honor of taking care of them.out of three siblings no one ever helped me. I took care of all of their rental properties as well, but when my dad was in his last days everyone came around hovering & wouldn’t let me see him. I was the executor of he estate. Needless to say my sibling sued me three times & havent spoken to me since. I have no family left . My daughter & son-in-law are the ones that help me. So they will get everything I have. My two sons don’t have time for me. It is very hard getting older alone!
Thank you 🙏 I’ve made up my mind after hearing this! I’m 66 years old my girls abandoned me after I put them through school University degrees. Neither kid will text call write nothing! I do volunteer work for a local no kill shelter I’ve made up my mind just now I’m changing my Trust! Thank you 🙏 and thank everyone for your comments!
The absence of my job removed a daily source of interaction and purpose. I’ve also found the shift from saving to spending a real eye-opener because every withdrawal feels like it directly impacts my savings growth. In hindsight, this has made me realize how early financial planning is, and honestly, the emotional toll of losing that sense of purpose is tough, especially since most of my friends and family are still in their routines
I'm approaching retirement and Ive found that having a financial advisor has been helpful. I started investing later than most, so relying on compound interest from index funds or bonds alone wasn’t enough for me. Despite that, I'm pleased to say I’ve managed to do well and am on track to retire with around $5 million
I usually avoid making specific recommendations because everyone's situation is unique. However, my experience with Emily Ava Milligan has been quite positive. You might find it worthwhile to see if her approach fits your needs
I'm 73 moved back to AZ be by my daughter but only 2 hours away. Been here 5 months seen her and one of the grandkids 2 times. Probably going to move back home to California. I'm ready to go home to Jesus. Not suicidal but just tired of this unloving world 😢
LuisaLoren I feel with you. Never forget: God loves you endlessly. Do good for people who do not expect it, to animals who do not DEMAND, to whoever gives you happyness without pressuring you. THAT is what I do .. my 3 dogs love me to bits and I love them. I do not see my child ... she has forgotten that she was very well taken care of by a loving mom who gave time, career, effort, tenderness ... all this is not worth 1 call in 5 years to her.
@@minomokwa744 thank you ✝️❤️🙏🙌. Yes ...I have the love of Jesus in my heart. I was happy when I had my two dogs. And it hurts so bad when I put my last one down. I was a mess😥. My daughter would say I treated my dogs better than her. 😥...My son's wife won't let me see my son who turns 55 this year. It's been five years since I have seen him. My daughter and daughter in law are the same. Arrogant, selfish and mean. I spend at least $1000 at Christmas and their birthdays. And I don't get anything from them. I'm done! And I'm not going to be in contact with them anymore. I will move and change my phone number. I have all I need in Jesus. So much love from Him and soon He will come and get me. God bless you and your doggies ❤️✝️🙏🙌✝️
Same boat, 79 in the middle of moving and shocked none of my family are supportive and helpful with my move. Feel so alone, will change trust after getting settled in new home.
I just brought my 88 year old mom to stay with me in texas. I would love her to move in but she likes California. She was supposed to leave several weeks ago but she keeps having me reschedule her flight to stay longer. I truly feel I’m the lucky one that she wants to keep staying. My mother in law just moved in to our home from cali. She had a fire at her complex that destroyed everything so she will be staying with us for now on. She only has her son. My mom had seven kids and everyone of wants to help and be around her and care for her. Most of my other siblings still work so I’ll keep her as long as she wants to stay and thank god everyday she does. ❤❤❤❤
What your mother said is 100% right. NO obligations to family, relative, friend etc if they never/ very seldom/ hardly ever is present in your life. Give it to someone that you feel deserves it, animal shelter or so.......
If you do leave money to an animal shelter, please consider a local one. National organizations spend large amounts donated to them for inflated CEO and employee salaries.
Most of your big-time charities do that. A small amount gets to the people that really need it. Much more goes to the big shots in charge which is why I never give to the big bad charities. They're full of shit.
Also be specific about what you want it to go to such as a new building or spay and neutering or medical care for the animals and if you don't want it to go to fundraising parties or fundraising Galas or staff bonuses or salaries or administrative costs be sure you're very specific in your will. I have been in nonprofit for over 27 years and a restricted donation means that whomever you give it to the non-profit has to honor the terms of your donation if it's a restricted donation by law they have to honor the terms of your agreement so whatever you want it to go to maybe it's new kennels for the dogs maybe it's immunizations for the animals be specific in your will and if you want it restricted to a certain thing then they have to use those funds for that specific area. Just include a signed and dated letter with your donation or if it is an online donation there is a section for notes and put in their that you want your donations to go strictly to the overall care and well being of the animals and not to administrative costs, salaries, bonuses or employee perks.
@@MegaMkmilleryou can restrict your donation so if you give to an animal shelter for instance and you want it to go purely for vaccinations for the animals or for new kennels for the dogs or new beds for the cats you can restrict it I've been in non-profit over 27 years and if you lay it out by law that non-profit has to honor your restrictions. If you just send a check to a non-profit and you don't outline what you want it to go for for example the new building or to a specific thing they can use it for whatever they want and that means salaries and and bonuses and overhead which can be oftentimes wasted so just be specific and I would encourage you to give to local Humane Societies rather than National because you will see more of your money go into the animals in your local community for instance if that's what you want it to go towards
@@j.y.3604 Thanks for telling us that. I never knew i could make sure it went to the real cats, and not the fat cats. Ive gotta get moving then, and thanks again for the info.
For sure, give it to an animal shelter. Poor defenceless creatures, who cant stand up for themselves in this tough world - and i"m not talking about your relatives here!!! If people don't visit you, it means they don't care about you. Really get this 🇬🇧
Dog Lady here. Amen they are the best. I only have 1 brother and his daughter and my daughter. All the rest have past on. Average life to 62 and 64. I will be 59 on December 4th and haven't seen my brother or niece in over 7 years. Very sad. But I send cards and gifts for every occasion. Not even a card comes my way. So what my daughter doesn't want, will be sold and donated half to humane society and half to St. Judes. Because children are innocent and deserve a life. Sending blessings!
2:53 - The more I see of people, the more I like dogs. You're under no obligation whatsoever to leave your assets to someone simply because you're related to them. Follow your heart.
I started a yr. Of only calling or texting people who call or text me. This will tell me who loves and cares for me. I'm 66yr. Old man who God has blessed in many ways. I too am trying to decide who to leave my money and wealth to. Really enjoyed this. Thank you kind sir..
I'm 71 y.o. going 72. Retired at FRA 66y.o. No ex-coworkers have any contact, sending them X'mas cards but no response. stoped sending cards, emails. No single family relatives or"friends"I know ever contacted me whether they live 2 blocks away or 3 miles away. Is this the meaning of life. I was hospitalized for a week, hospital personnel wandering if I have a family.
You can leave it in a trust fund, and it ca be paid in increments through a trust manager. If the charity shuts down, the trust can have the right to stop payments.
I fell on hard times.An 85 and 91 yr old couple I met in town offered me a spot on their land.I bought a 23 ft RV wit the few bucks I had left....parked 1000 ft off the road and away from everything and everyone.Been here 5 yrs now!! I pay them a small rent for their electricity and fix anything they need.Their grandson and son live on this land.They all dont talk to each other.The son...2 houses down...doesnt even see his Mom on Mothers day.All because she wanted to leave a few acres to the grandson he doest talk to.Which started a war!!Like jackals they just wait for the old folks to go.These people were gifted this land by England..centuries ago...the roads named after the wife's family...yet know one knows or cares!! I do!!!.I wish I had normal parents like this!!! I visit these folks daily...while the family...on the same land doesnt!!The whole town awaits their death so they can start developing this land.Soon they will be gone...soon the vultures will be feeding....and I will become a leaf in the wind again.All the animals Ive come to love...the trees...soon all will be gone!!Stick with your animal shelter idea....its definitely a better cause.I too am alone ....with live family that I never see. With the way society has taken the moral down turn...I stay far away from people.Follow your heart friend!! Ill follow you on your journey..heres a sub! :)
Don't look down on the vulture. I love vultures. They are lovely creatures actually. They are definitely good parents, better than most humans. The young ones are fun and see mom and dad eating so they come around and learn to trust me too. They do us a valuable service you know. I can take a chicken leg bone that I left some meat on right out of my hands. It drives the dog crazy but the cat doesn't care. Fun fact about vultures, if we could put it in human terms. A vultures eyesight is so good he could read a newspaper from a mile away. Pretty cool huh.
My kids forgot i exist)))) im setting up my farm in Southern Iowa as a wilderness area with no hunting ect, only hiking. I grew up hunting and trapping there and decided to just give it back to the natural world. Im 60 and understand that our existence is just a very small blip in time.
That is a wonderful gift to like-minded people like yourself, who, if they could be face-to-face with you, would thank you. Thank you for giving back to nature and the animals that depend upon it.
i had to take care of my mother also during her last couple of years, me and the wife. it was hard, a lot of decisions with what to eat, her belongings, the nursing home, and her bills. Tip for all of us. Don't collect things you whole life like my mother did. In the end some stuff was donated, some went to relatives, but most of it just went in the garbage. Instead of spending money on stuff, go out to eat with friends, travel, and spend it on memories.
Just a note from a kind stranger. Perhaps, your mother loved getting her “stuff”and it made her feel like her surroundings were her “palace.” So stuff meant something to her…who knows? Thank you and wife for taking such good care of her, though, in her latter years. Good vibes go your way for what it’s worth!
I never asked my mother or father for a cent and didn’t even ask about their wills. What I would love to ask for just one more time is a bowl of her incredible Chicken and Dumplings and my Dad to take me fishing for flounder with night lights and spears and wadding boots! The memories are treasures enough!
Thanks for this. My daughter was just up on holiday for a week and didn't even come for a cup of tea. I'm feeling very upset, I don't know the reason. We didn't bring them up to be like this. Then i found your video and I feel less alone.
Some people don't mind being alone, I'm one of them. A day alone is one more day I don't have someone asking for something for free. I'm very outgoing and can get by anyplace that has likeminded people, but if not I'm good to go all by myself. I think it's form being in the ARMY when I was young and spending days on end by myself.
I' m so sorry for your hurt. That has got to be such a painful realization that even a short meet-up with you wasn't a priority of hers. It makes me realize how blessed I am to have a very caring and doting daughter.
All my money and high collectibles, are going to various animal rescues. All in my will, trusts set up. My 2 cats, if they outlive me, have a trust as well, to the person who has said they would take them, together. Enough money to fully provide for them, food, toys, vet bills, meds, etc, and money for the person as a sincere thank you. My blood family are undeserving. Animals on the other hand, well, they are very deserving.
Me personally I would leave it to a animal shelter but I would do my research and leave it to a credible animal shelter that is actually going to do good with the money God bless and have a great day
I was my mother's sole caregiver through her dementia journey and blindness. My siblings refused to give ANY help, because she had nothing to give them financially (disgusting). My children (my dogs) gave me the support and strength to get out of bed each day and continue the soul crushing care of my mom until her death, with just me and my babies by her side. They continue to give me meaning and comfort in life without human family. In my opinion, animals are God's greatest gift to us; and they deserve all the help, love and security we can provide for them. All dogs want is to love and be loved❤ They are pure Joy❣
Do whatever your heart tells you to do about giving part of your estate to family who have basically written you off. You could have a billion dollars and a dog would be loyal to you. Or you could be homeless, begging on the street, and the dog would still be loyal to you.
a dog is a animal, a possession, a fur covered slave of sorts. its not loyalty, it does not love, it dwells on its environment. dont feed your slave for several days, and see your slaves demeanor change. not so loving, and loyal anymore is it? it may hang w you while your homeless, for a while, but the only thing its really loyal to is its stomach.
Maybe they are scared of you or you have a personality disorder or you don't share your address to receive a xmas card. Some people like to isolate themselves.
@@gold707786 If people like to isolate themselves, that is their right, however, for them to think that people will be thinking of them, gifting to them, would be odd assumption on their part.
@@gold707786 People isolate themselves because they have gotten tired of dealing with getting stabbed in the back by too many people and the constant BS!
I go back and forth on this question. The bigger part is the lack of family who visit. Kids and grandkids. It’s a sad state of affairs Wishing everyone the best and hopefully have others outside of the family who pour into you. Bless you!!!
My Mom just passed weeks ago and I was pretty much the only one of 4 kids who was there to care for her, me and my daughter. Now I am having to divide up her small estate amongst the 4 of us and 3 steps who treated her like garbage. I would give anything to give every cent she left to an animal shelter or a soup kitchen because that would be honouring my Mom. It's always the humans that are never there to help that make the most noise when it comes to dividing up at the end😥
Don’t leave anyone anything, spend your money on yourself. Take vacations, go to fancy restaurants, spend it on yourself. If your family doesn’t brother to come by to say hi, then you don’t owe them anything..spend your inheritance on yourself and your animals
Ditto. I suggested that to my Dad as well. His kids are doing fine, you only have one life, treat yourself just be careful financially for whatever future you have.
i have 4, and they are all as equally worthless as their mother. consider yourself lucky to have a good son. im one of 5, and who would have guessed when it comes to taking care of my mom, im a only child. f ing amazing.
Hi from Leicester England I believe if the family you raised can't come to see you I myself have left my grown up children to get on with there life my money mine now so I believe you should travel and injoy your life 🎉🎉
If my absence does not bother them, then my presence never mattered.
I ❤ what you said here.❤ . Certainly hit my nail on the head, sledgehammer type.😂😂
Poetic
Wow! Lots to think about in that saying. And the key word here is "absence" I think--you can live in the same house as someone and still feel absence, and in today's world loved ones can feel close even if they're physically far away (a Facetime call with a child or grandchild isn't the same as face-to-face, but it's pretty darn good). If there's a disconnect, with no effort to stay connected in some way, that's true absence and it's probably time to make other connections as much as possible. We all need them.
So very well said.
@@phebagirlsmith3228 Truer words have never been spoken...
Painfully True.
Reality is a Birch!
The only positive thing that should come from this realization, there is NO REASON FOR VENGEANCE! Carrying around that burden of Hatefulness eats at your insides emotionally, so why plan to "Get Back".
My first life BIG LESSON was the only real pay back to those that dislike you is to never live DOWN to others low expectations of you and always be a success and take the HIGH ROAD without Bitterness, Hatefulness nor Revenge.
If they don’t have time when your alive, they don’t need to gain financially when your dead!
Exactly.
Buy a nice fishing boat. and a motorcycle. have some fun!
@@Dane-o7q bought a new HD in 2020🙂
Take it with you.
I have two daughters. One would literally unplug oxygen if I had that to live. Her father turned her against me years ago. He cheated on me and after our divorce married 5 months later. She is still on his side all these years later. She’s 40. I doubt she’d ever change, and she’s not in my life.
My other daughter, who’s 30, very recently layed into me over some house issues I had, and then went on to rip me a new one about how she thinks I was awful to my mother (don’t even know where that came from). I took my mom in after my dad died, and she had dementia. It was difficult, and my daughter never helped me with her. So did I occasionally lose my cool? Yes. I was frustrated and exhausted. But I did my best. I later did need to put her in a dementia unit at a local nursing home, because she was not eating, and her dementia had worsened.
But seeing how my daughter didn’t help me at all should’ve been my clue.
I started thinking about how she doesn’t go to give me a hug on an occasional visit. She doesn’t say I love you. She offers (sometimes) to help me do something and then backs out. Then she forgets she offered to help and then tells me in a rude, condescending way, that I can’t do anything by myself, that everything that’s gone wrong in my life is my fault.
Wow. And now we barely talk at all.
So will I leave anything to them? Hell no. Neither one of them has ever apologized for anything. So why in hell would I leave them anything? They never appreciated what I did do for them. Leaving them anything would be like rewarding bad behavior. Like saying it was ok to disrespect me, take advantage of me, not appreciate what I did for them. So no, I won’t be leaving them anything.
I took care of Mom who had dementia. During this time Dad wad diagnosed with advanced cancer. I had moved in to care for them full time. Both of their biggest fear was going into a rest home, so with help fron visiting nurses and aides i was able to keep them in their home. When they passed on to God I stayed in the home in which I grew up. I am now in my 70s. I still live here. It was an honor to care for my dear parents.
God love you! I feel exactly the same! It was oh sooo challenging some days, but I’d do it all over again! I miss my mother and father every day.
Absolutely. It’s a damn privilege to take care of our parents at the end. For sure.
You are a rare breed.❤
I did the same for my parents. Spent 10 years caring for one or both of them. I would do it all again. God bless you.
My brother lives in the same town as my Mum. He has always been unpleasant with her, and has now not seen her for 7 years. I live 70 miles, and spend two long weekends a month with her. He knows she had a bad fall 2 years ago but never enquired after her.
Answer is NO. Full stop. When family becomes strangers, they're just strangers.
@@johnmora5599 By the time the will is read, there would be nothing they could do to a pile of ashes in an urn. 😁
@@linconnery6211 They're busy with their lives, their friends, jobs and interests. Busy world today, impossible to keep up with everything. Get a life.
Got a life, thanks! But it's still my stuff, my choice. If you, Alan, choose to leave your worldly goods to those who have so many "friends and interests" that they can't manage to be in touch once in a while, that will be your choice, too. I wish you well.
@linconnery6211 I haven't committed or decided. I suffer from the same question but do get a positive response sometimes and enjoy quality time when it will be set aside. Many obligations and look at the rents these days! I keep remembering what it was like when I was younger. Visiting parents was more rare. Leaving the nest.
this.
75 here. My kids rarely visit, the grandkids never. It’s going to an animal shelter.
spend some of it on you.
@@BlackdogADV good for you !
What about when a sociopath sibling (sister) wants to have Mom all to herself , defamation, insulting, lying, continually, but she wont take care of Mom in a weakened condition, sister is mad that you care for Mom , sister has “poa” , sister takes 98% of inheritance
Thank you for such a great idea.
Domestic abuse shelters for women and children, Veterans Homes may be good ideas, but research them first to make sure the CEO isn't making fabulous money, but hardly any going toward the real purpose.
Blessings
What a great plan, love it! 😀👍
I’ve scrimped and saved and done without things all my life. I’m not rich but what I do have is going to the person who comes by and checks on me routinely and asks nothing in return. A niece of my husband. Such a sweet young lady. Helps me with the tech stuff I can’t figure out, takes me to dinner and texts if she can’t come by within a day or so to check on me. ❤
Everyone should be so lucky to have an angel like her.
You’re very lucky !💕
Wonderful to here!
Very nice nice you have. My children does all medical for me and technology stuff. If no one does for me I would have left it for charity. But in my case my kids will get what’s left. Fix income here.
@@CrazyArt-r5e That is beautiful, give her a hug for me 🙏🏻
Why cross oceans for people who won’t cross a puddle for you?
WOW ... what a great comment ! I shall remember that. God bless you, Gary.
I loved that comment!
Well said
wow. that is such a fantastic comment. I love it.
BOOM!
Man am i so happy to have found you. Im 68, still driving a truck, have no kids. Money keeps coming in and all i do is work. I want to give $50 bills toworking people i encounter. Grocery store folks, fast food workers, random people. What fun !
I usually tip 50%. One time, I gave a $1,000 tip to a hardworking single waitress rearing her disabled son at home. (I'm single and don't have any children.)
Retire. And create a life.
I'm sure you're blessing others! I'd love to win the lottery to just "make it rain" for single moms, elders, and others obviously struggling. Bless you.
Get out of your comfort zone... join some organizations so you can meet someone to share yourself with, not necessarily at a bar. There are plenty of ppl looking for someone like you. Life is short. Use your dollars to create one.
Do it!!!❤
An inheritance is your final thank-you note to those who have made a difference to your life.
@@VgnRaj thank you very well said
@@Philipbuono77Do they have legitimate reasons they cannot visit you like health issues, or they chose to have multiple kids and now have many priorities, do they call you or you call them to find our what is going on, did you take care of your parents as an example to them growing up and spend time with them to build up a relationship, did you notice they were materialistic and immoral as they were growing up or did they change after marriage? These are questions you should ask before cutting them off.
AMEN!!!😂🎉
For you and like minded people maybe but people who know me are doing fine. I'd leave mine to help animal welfare. People who know me would expect me to do that & wouldn't feel rebuffed.
@@rejectionistmanifesto8836 Totally agree.
The way people treat you is EXACTLY how they feel about you.
That’s a very powerful statement. And it’s true.
Sadly I have to believe that.
generally your being taken advantage of, and treated like sh it. this has actually been normalized in our society. for someone to have value, for them to feel like they have value, being ignored, "im to busy" aka f off, and treated like a 3rd rate being is totally normal. but on the flip side, they will treat their, nasty, smelly, dirty, dog, better than people, and this has been totally normalized, and accepted by the masses of mouth breathers out there. then the cant figure out why they are alone, nobody wants them. i wont even date a woman who has pets, thats how bad it it. this is where we are at presently it. confusion at its finest.
I do believe that as well. It's sad
Sometimes people have massive regret. Young family with children might be very busy looking after kids and not see parents so much. Grandparents can take the lead and offer help
My dad’s 96, still kicking and living on his own. All us 3 kids live far away, but see him as often as we can and call a lot. It in order to live at home, he has a lot of local neighbors and caregivers that are like family. I hope he gives them all something when he goes. He doesn’t owe us a thing; he raised us and had our backs when we had problems or screwed up. What he does with his is money is none of my business.
You guys are blessed and very fortunate. Keep up the awesome job!
I say screw em!
I totally agree with you!
What a refreshing attitude! I agree!
Your father clearly did a great job with you. He must be very proud.
I’m glad I found your channel..and your thoughts. I’m 71 and the one child I had (in my early 50’s) was so incredibly and deliberately brainwashed against me after I divorced her mother, that I haven’t seen her since she was 13. I adored her and would gladly have died for her…as any parent would. This inheritance issue has been weighing on me. It’s not at all her fault, but if she doesn’t want to hear “the other side of the story” before I die…then The Animal Shelter makes complete sense to me. My very old, blind dog has given me nothing but pure love for the last 12 years, and that is a very precious thing that I don’t take for granted for even a second.
@@coldisle They hold nothing against us and stay loyal to the last breath.. Bless you x
Research Parental Alienation. On TH-cam. Happened to me too. Heartbroken. I'm so sorry.
@@coldisle i feel this if you leave them nothing then they might feel that you hated them and I wouldn’t want to die thinking that as there last thoughts of me
Thank you for taking care of that sweet baby
@@Philipbuono77 Then leave them a letter telling them how much you cared for them & how you would have cherished their presence in your life !! BUT leaving them money is just as good as telling them that it was fine to ignore you because you don’t matter . They’re just as likely to think you owe them , their mother may have poisoned their memories but that is no excuse . Did you pay child support ?
If you really feel torn about it leave them $500 & tell them it’s to pay for the dinner you would have loved to share with them.
Animal shelters are very worthy & so are children fighting cancer or children Ive seen whose eyes have been removed because of cancer when only toddlers, ( so many )
So back to dogs wonderful guide dogs who become the eyes for those children , do you see where I’m going ? Is that selfish child thinking you hate them because you didn’t reward their neglect more important than those little kids who will never actually SEE their daddy even when hugging him.?
Write a letter telling her you donated the money to training guide dogs & whatever charities you choose in her name . If she was 2 when you split up she may be confused but 13 ? If you adored her why doesn’t she remember you ? She’s a selfish brat who is probably waiting on that inheritance. Ok enough from me ♥️
No kids. Son died. No siblings. So, no nieces or nephews. I plan to spend it all on me.
I'm deeply sorry about your son..
Good on you Enjoy it
😁🌞
Good for you !
❤🎉😂
No one is entitled to an inheritance, give to those that matter to you
Oh isn't that the truth!
My thoughts exactly! 😂
@@gina_dee.1111me I will end up giving it to poor people everyone work for your money
@@gina_dee.1111my comments are being deleted huh okay please let them work for their money and you live your best days it's not about money it's about you ❤
Sadly enough not true everywhere. In at least one Canadian province, a child left out of a parent's Will is entitled to contest it based on whether the parent met their 'moral obligation' to child.
This forces the estate to defend the reasons for the choices of the deceased. Idea apparently is that parents are obliged to make every reasonable effort to resolve conflicts and take into account adult child challenges or risk being found by a judge to have not met moral obligation.
I went to counseling with my “angry son.” I said I just wanted a little appreciation for all I did for him (private school, helping him through a medical condition, paid for college, help him get his first car, and living with me for 8 years rent free after he turned 18) His answer was… “Why should I be grateful for something you were required to do as a parent?” As a Marine Corps Veteran, I will be buried at sea and leave everything to the dogs and Veterans.
@@jamesa.smith.7794 LOL I’m 65 with a heart issue. Just making sure all final arrangements are in place.
Simple
Good choice.
I have had almost the exact life experience (paid college, cars, trips, weddings), one son has not spoken to me in over ten years for what reason I have no idea despite numerous attempts, other son has no time for visits, etc. Former USMC, have done well as a business owner, ....dogs and Veterans. Cremated ashes in an old rusty coffee can.
@@terryglobal88 Semper Fi “Dude” 😁 (coffee can reference)
I just wanted to comment: everybody please make sure to make provisions for your animals in case you pass away. There are so many sad cases of dogs, cats and other animals left behind with no backup plan. That's why I love the idea of donations to no-kill shelters. They are needed.
There are some amazing programs lut there now for this and they need even more volunteers, fosters, and locations. My Grandad's Cat is one. She takes in nursing home and senior death pets and finds them new loving homes. It's a wonderful idea!
@@sheelfjohnson my brother found a dog running in the busy streets, he tried finding the owner for two weeks, no chip no collar. He called me to see if I could adopt him but I already had 3 dogs. I advised him to call my elderly aunt and uncle who love animals and had recently lost their beloved dog. I told my brother if she couldn’t take him, I would. They were able to take him with the promise from me that if anything happened to them that I would take him, I agreed. After a few years my uncle passes, then two years later my aunt passed from COVID. I had since moved to Texas (they were in California)and this happened during COVID. I called my mother in law in California to see if she could hold on to the dog until we could drive out there at the end of the month, she agreed. She is a very nice lady but not an animal person. Long story short, after two weeks she asked if she could keep the dog, she had fell in love with the little guy. About 2 years later my mother in laws condo complex had a huge fire and she lost her condo. Best part of this story is she and the dog now live with us, I get my mother in law and my aunts dog……I’m sure my aunt is smiling down from heaven at all of us with all the love her dog receives on a daily basis……God bless all animal lovers and all Gods creatures.❤️❤️❤️
I'm living it. My father is the only person that cares I exist. I have no friends. I have no women. I have nothing and no one in my life. My dad doesn't have any money, but he gives me his time. That's worth more than gold to me.
Raymond, I send you my love. I know how you feel (I have ONLY my 3 dogs & 1 or 2 trusted people). God bless you and your dad.
Have you considered learning to play a music instrument? It will keep you busy, entertained, and eventually you will play with other people and think of them as friends.
Bless your dad. He is a good man.
You could go get a companion animal. it will boost your mood and provide focus.
Raymond, I wish you were my neighbor. We could talk to each other now and then.
You’re right about dogs over people. 100% of the time.
And cats.
@@MrCountrycuzcats always ❤
I am 63
I think will end up alone and die alone. If you have empty bedrooms.
Find some borders your own age to have fellowship with.
Turn your house into a a sanctuary for single retired men like your self.
@@MrCountrycuz and birbs! i love my garden birbs....
Arf..wag, wag! damned straight!
I am 63, have 5 daughters. Only one is close to my husband and I. She calls me daily to check in on me. Had spinal surgery 10 months ago, she was present for me. Other daughters: no hear, no see, even took our grandkids away from us. I was present for their births and was very attached to the gkids. Did many things for and with them. Broke our hearts. We still grieve for the gkids. But we have to move on and live our own lives. Yesterday one of the estranged ones reached out asking for $, we did not respond. I am enjoying my peace.
How disgusting to ask for money when you've chosen to be estranged. Good for you for not even replying. I feel like my kids use me, and I'm stalling having a Trust drawn up because of this issue.
Similar position here. We love our 3 grandsons but our daughter's family is always too busy to drive 2 hours to visit us. She loves to have us drive to visit her. My wife and I always loved to spend time with our grandparents, but that isn't the case with our grandsons, and they never have the opportunity to see what it would be like. It's a shame.
Good for you! 2 can play the same game!
me too!
@@dougb8207it’s a different world today! No respect for older people!
Sometimes animals can be more loyal and caring, than humans. 🇬🇧
@edwardian_house absolutely 💯
Sometimes?
I would say they are 99.9% of the time! 😂🐾💖
You don’t leave an inheritance to someone based on their relationship TO YOU, but rather their relationship WITH YOU!
Well put.
Amen.
@@fastmph Not at all........
Our daughter and husband used to bring the grandchildren up every Sunday to visit which was lovely when they were young but age 10 and nine, they were getting really bored so told them just to make it fortnightly or even monthly.
Finally aged 13 and 14 we had to tell them just to enjoy their own lives with their friends and we'd see them at birthdays, Christmas etc. They still appear at the door now and then on their own but that's fine as I can recall being dragged off to vist my gran one weekend then aunties and uncles after that, at an age when you want weekends with friends!
So long as they're happy, we're happy and they'll get all our £100,000+ cash and £230,000 flat if we pass without needing care homes!
@@fabianmckenna8197 I think you are a good person. I like the way you don't expect anything in return.
NOT TRUE
I wasn't the best son but I showed up every Sunday for my dad's fried chicken. He loved to cook for other people. I have 8 siblings and they only visited when they wanted something.
My father and I were not very close until after I returned from the military. In the end I took care of my dad while he struggled with dementia. All my siblings insisted I put him in a home. They were of little to no use in the final years. My dad and I became best friends in those last days. Taking care of an elderly parent is not easy but it was the greatest time of my life. I lost my best friend but he died in his home with a son that loved him. I encourage everyone to take care of their parents no matter the cost. Do not put them in a home. It's your duty and you will have zero regrets.
I regret having my dad live with me his last three years. I found out he was a deeply unpleasant man. I still feel traumatised by it. He confessed all manner of things.
It’s not your duty. Each person must decide how much or how little they want to put into the care of an elderly parent based on their past and present experiences and relationship with that parent.
Same❤❤❤
@@ltdodgen Yes it is your duty. It's called the circle of life and that's the way it's been since the dawn of civilization. Your parents took care of you as an infant and in return you take care of them when they're elderly. I'm sure there are valid exceptions but too many people take the easy road and stick them in a home for mere convenience. Even the government encourages you to abandon elderly parents. The government would rather pay literally thousands of dollars per month to a nursing home but wouldn't give me a single penny to take care of my dad at home. I quit my job and spent all my savings in the final 2 years. Best money I ever spent.
I agree! I took care of both my parents with illnesses, and my Uncle! It was my honor. So proud I did. They deserved that. Good people.
Don't leave your money to ungrateful brats.
My dogs are the only ones I even consider now....loyal til the end
How are they ungrateful? Did he ask them to come visit? Did he make an attempt to get them to visit? Did he call them? Did he ask them to call him? Did he just sit there waiting quietly?
@@DebbiesWorldwhy would you have to ask your kids to visit you, or contact you?
@@fanfeck2844 OHHHHHHHH !!!!!! I so agree with you.
@@fanfeck2844 He never said he was talking about his kids. He said "family and friends". So I agree with DebbiesWorld. I wonder if he ever shared his feelings with these people. They may not know that he would like to see more of them. We live in a very isolated society, and people often leave you alone because they don't want to intrude. They may be lonely too and would welcome him reaching out to them.
I only had one child, a daughter and she is the one that is very well off! And, what a remarkable joy she has been to me her whole life. As an adult, she not only bought me a house, she bought me a car and all my appliances and helps me with money for food and anything else that I want or need. I do feel bad that I don’t have anything to leave her though. But she doesn’t really need any money! I do have wonderful grandchildren, but they are busy with their own lives, just as I was when I was young. they contact me occasionally telling me how much they love me and that is all I need! Boy, I sure am lucky❤
You are lucky. ❤
My son is in jail I haven't seen or heard from him in 3 years your very fortunate your child has turned out well
Do you have any family keepsakes that your daughter might like? If you ask her now, you can give them to her now so she can enjoy them while you’re still alive. 😊
I’ve always liked jewelry, so my Mom gave my sister and me each a ring before she died so there was no arguing! I rec’d the larger diamond ring as I helped my parents in their later years. My sister rarely even phoned Mom. She’d tell her she ways so busy at work she couldn’t find time to call. So I mentioned to Mom that I found it hard to believe her as she was always sending me many jokes & cartoons on the internet almost every day. Her daughter had to drive by Mom’s apt both in the morning and after work. She rarely dropped in or called. Her brother was worse. Never visited or called, but had his hand out as soon as he found out she’d died!!
So glad to hear you have a wonderful daughter! My son had a beautiful, caring heart …. Until he got married. The mi.l. Is the same as her daughter! And yet, I am the bitch!!! Oh well, I try not to think about them as it makes me sad. I just live as if I don’t have a child. AND, from ladies in my area I’ve discovered it is, unfortunately, quite common for Mom to get ignored,etc after their sons marry. Their loss. Not ours! 😊
Time for bed (2:38am)
Sounds pretty good. You're lucky.
Since she has been so kind to you ,I would keep it in the family and leave the house and car in her name for the grandkids.
Animal shelter is my choice. The truth is that dogs love you unconditionally and grown kids don't. Thank you for doing this video. It's helpful
Very true.
Bad idea if u have a son leave it to him, i have a dog i love very much but the dog is not your blood, do the right thing!
Family won't do anything with it, apart from waste it on worthless technology, like new TV's, EV's etc.
Make sure its an independent animal shelter...not affiliated to government
Animals only love the fact that you feed them
I give my inheritance away a little bit each day. When I dine out if the server is great, I give an unexpectedly large tip. I've bought friends things as a surprise. An example of that was a friend of mine once posted a picture of a painting on Facebook and said "I've always wanted to paint or draw but don't think I'd be any good." So, I went to an art store and bought them some basic art supplies and sent it off as a surprise with a note saying "It doesn't matter if you are any good or not. Just do it for the joy of creating and trying". I read a lot and when I finish a book that I know a friend would love I send a copy as a surprise. I have a favorite bagel shop and the owner and all the staff are friendly and we have long conversations together. One day I sent the whole shop (only 4 people) a gift of a lunch delivery. They got to choose the day and the place for the delivery so they would have it after work. I didn't tell them it was from me just that it was someone who always enjoyed talking to them. My basic rule in life is never ignore a generous impulse. It's made my life so much better. (And for the record, I have two daughters who I taught to live the same way. They are great women and I"m very fortunate. We laugh that they won't get "generational wealth" from me but I think they got much more than mere money. They agree.)
Wonderful ❤
Good way to live…
Good way to live…
I live similarly and enjoy spreading love and happiness. It's sad that so many don't know that the gift of generosity works both ways, and no, you don't need to have loads of money to do it, if it's thoughtful, the worth is beyond price. Generosity of time is another example of heartfelt giving. ❤
Love this, I've taken the very same path. ❤
I leaving nothing to my family..Im leaving my entire estate to the most irresponsible person i know. My son, who comes to see me. My son borrows money, doesn't offer help, but him being here for Sunday dinner is nice. He makes cards for holidays & birthdays. He is always employed, just low paying jobs. He has a good heart, he loves all animals.
Sounds like he IS a great guy. Just curious, if you asked him, would he HELP you if you were also working on something? You don't have to reply. I was thinking he MIGHT just not THINK to help. He may have ADHD which can make you absolutely paralyzed when it comes to doing things.
@@dandelion1598 he’s using you but whatever 👍
@@dandelion1598 that's most of what people get out of their children!
He may have an undiagnosed learning disability. A good heart is everything. He shows his love in the cards. I wish my son understood these gestures meaning. I think my son has undiagnosed autism.
I think sometimes it is hard for our children to realize that we need help. After all, we are the strong Mom or Dad who raised them.
I'm 64. I have been let down by my family too. I won't elaborate but I've learned a hard lesson about people. My 38 year old daughter cut me out of her life 4 years ago. I have not seen my beloved little grandson since then. He's only 6 now. I feel very lonely at times.. which is human. We should never apologise for feeling vulnerable. People can be utter shits. I've been far too soft and trusting and giving in my life. I agree with you... animals are better. Complete love.
I told my dad not to leave my brother and I a penny. To spend it on HIMSELF. That makes us the happiest! He'll be 88 in a couple months, and he's living his life to the fullest!!
I told my parents the same thing. They worked so hard to give us a good life, it was so rewarding to see them enjoy life as much as they could in their later years.
Our two daughters said the same thing to us. Spend you all’s money on yourselves. We don’t need you all to leave us money. You two gave us a wonderful childhood, sent us to a good private school & college. Taught us right from wrong. I’m retired & my husband still working because he enjoys his job. One calls me everyday to check on me. The other one works from home & either calls or texts. I’m so grateful we have 2 caring daughters.
That was very generous of you.
That's how you treat your parents. ❤
I am 90 and that is what I am doing. I am responsible with it because if, God forbid ,I live to a hundred, I don't want to run out of money and be a burden to society or anyone else.
My son is estranged and he's getting $1. I'm leaving my house and belongings to a friend.
I live alone in a wheelchair, he's 4 blocks away and can't even come by to check on me. He's getting nothing.
💯 percent correct.
Just a word of caution. My attorney advised me to specifically say that whoever you wanted to disinherit was getting zero. If you say you’re leaving them one dollar, then the attorneys are obligated to track that person down to make sure that they get their dollar before your estate can be settled. If your estranged son is long gone and can’t be found at that point, it could tie up your estate. In my will it specifically says they are to receive nothing.
I'm so very very sorry. My son, whom I love dearly, doesn't want anything to do with me. I always loved him and hugged him and kissed him and treat him with love. I simply don't know what happened. It truly has ruined my life
@@Agent77-e8oEnjoy it that YOU did it right sweetheart. Remember the righteously happy times that YOU made. Forget anything else.
@@Agent77-e8o I’m so sorry😢. I know it’s really heartbreaking!
You raise an interesting question, one I’ve thought often about.
My life flipped several years ago when my husband of 25 years discovered whiskey and left, I moved to a small home that I could afford as a retiree, 4 months later it burned and I and my two dogs were trapped and barely made it out. 3 months later my only child stopped speaking to me. I can count on one hand how many people reached out to see how I was. My faith in people plummeted. But through this, my two faithful dogs have never left my side. I’m with you, dogs are the BEST ❤
So after that long story, I’m leaning hard toward the animal shelter 🐶🐶
God bless you! I'm 72 and so sorry you have been through so much!! Life is not easy, but I make it through because of my faith in God!! Wish I felt like I could afford to adopt a dog, but the possibility of vet bills is frightening. I like the idea of animal rescues!!
@@bettyjohnson2964 thank you Betty, my faith is strong but I admit, at times I am weary. I used to work with a dog rescue organization, they always need foster homes and the cost is covered by them. Sometimes the cost for adoption can be sponsored by someone who has the money but can’t have a dog, maybe there’s a way for you to have a companion 🙏🏻 God bless you 💙
@@laurellewis1638 Oh, thanks so much!! Yes, I have been thinking about looking at the requirements to foster a dog!! Because of your encouragement I am going to check into that this week!! But I know it would be so hard to give up the foster dog!! But it would be better to have love and companionship for a while rather than none at all, and then I know there would be another dog waiting to be fostered!! I have also thought about volunteering at the humane society here!! God bless you for caring so much about the homeless dogs!! ❤️🙏🙏
Good on you❤
@@bettyjohnson2964 You can always foster a dog. That way, you are a temporary caretaker. It gets dogs and cats out of the shelter, provides you with companionship and the vet bills are paid. Give it a try!
Strange that this channel just showed up. I am alone except for my 4 legged friends.
Lost my only son to an accidental fentanyl OD 5 years ago. Only child I have left has no time for me.
They were not raised in a dumpster fire type life. I spent time with my kids. Took them to see their grandparents for holidays because I thought family was important. We had fun. I took them camping, fishing, encouraged them to be good people.
Didn’t have a parade of men in and out of their lives after their father left. I gave up my life to be a good mom.
I understand my only child has a life and her own family. She has responsibilities a husband and children. I do not tell her how to raise them, say bad things about her husband or but into their lives.
They never come see me. Call occasionally comes thru. Coming up on the holidays and I will be alone again this year. Last year they didn’t have time so I took my horse and dog camping for the holidays.
Decided to do that again this year.
I don’t get it. I loved my mom and dad. Took care of mom after dad died. Called her travelled every other week to help her keep her house and yard up. Brought her to my home when she could no longer live alone.
I do not see that happening for me. I will probably die in my back pasture and they will find my skeletal remains after the buzzards have picked my bones.
That’s okay.
Going to contact an attorney and have a trust set up to care for my faithful dog and horse after the “Silly Season” is over.
Grew up in the 60’s life and attitudes sure were different.
Not an ugly woman, stay active and take care of my farm and self. All my friends are still married or chasing after another husband prospect.
I’m doing what I got to do. Pain is a part of life misery is an option. I choose not to be a miserable old woman.
My money is going to someone other than ungrateful kid and grandkids. I never imagined it would be this way.
Is there something in the water and air these days??
It’s going to be okay.
That’s my thoughts on it.
I know a guy who was hammered real bad when we were deployed overseas, he had four sisters who came to visit him in the hospital, one at a time, not to cheer him up, not to bring him flowers or cookies, not to bring him magazines or books but to see if he had a will and if they were in it and NOT the other three. When they found out that they were not in his will, they left and he hasn't seen nor heard from them since, that was 15 years ago. Meanwhile, dozens of soldiers from his unit came to visit, some from 100 miles away, with all kinds of gifts and NOBODY asked about his will. Guess who's in his will now.
That's so heartbreaking to hear. Selfish, greedy people really suck. I didn't even know my Dad had an insurance policy that I was the beneficiary on, and not my brother. When my Dad was diagnosed with Parkinson's disease in 2013, I drove 4 hours one way every weekend to spend weekends at his care home with him. I slept on his couch. He loved ice cream, so I took him out for that and leisurely drives. My brother lived a half hour drive away and only visit Dad once a month or less. He would go there just to whine about his financial debts that he incurred via his greed. Dad gave him a little money each visit, then bro would call me whining that Dad was cheap. In the end he got a little money, but not enough to get out of debt. My dad passed in 2018. Sorry about long read. I talk too much on here.
As a widow I saw that too, very sad.
Amen!
@@fadetoblondReminds me of some of our kin!…bless your heart ❤️
@@abowling5759 Thanks!
Animals never let you down. People come and go.
So true!
That's so true! And once I grasped it, it freed me.
virtue signaling won't make up for your failed parenting and existence.
@gogo-word So do dogs. We've lost 4 to Heaven since 1999. The last to say good bye was 5/23. Still grieving. Hubs died 3 weeks ago today. We all go eventually. Make today count, be the cause of someone's smile, take care of yourself, tell those that are near and dear to you that you love them. Leave what you want to those that are worthy. including some to pet shelter while you are still living. Have A blessed day!!
73, got a son and a daughter. The daughter doesn’t ever call or visit. My son calls every now and then. But I never see him, he lives 100 miles away.
I took care of my mom for 20 years. Nobody is here except my pets. I know that’s the way it is for lots of seniors.
I’m going to visit my 98 year old mom today. She has severe dementia, but she still loves to see me.
Arrrh bless that’s a so nice..
I'm 72 and have a sister who really doesn't want to be around me since she has a boyfriend now. I never had children, and dog died years ago. But I enjoy feeding the squirrels and birds in my yard. I really want to adopt a small dog, but with inflation the way it is, I am hesitant to commit to that expense, especially for any vet bills. God bless you!! It is not easy being old and alone!! ❤🙏🙏
@@bettyjohnson2964 God bless you. XXX
God bless you - we see you and love you for who you are. xxx
@@floyd2222 Thank you so much!! God bless you!!
We live round the corner from our only child, she visits twice a day my Grandson runs in to say hi before he goes to school then pops in when he finishes school to tell us the gossip lol, I’m very sorry your family is like this. I’m a new subscriber so I’m Irish and I can tell a bloody good yarn so may the wind be always at yer back. Give your money to whoever you want
Lovely. Nice to hear such a positive story.
Phil, I believe this is the CULTURE of the day. Children are taught they are ENTITLED. As a young girl, 80 yrs ago ,we did chores etc. We were expected to work and be independent. Technology is a gift that is a 2 edge sword. It is ruining AMERICA.
It will ruin the whole world!
It’s ruining the world to be honest. Disgraceful entitled behaviour that I never saw in my 20’s in the 80’s or 90’s. Sickening!
@@karenglenn6707It can be helpful as well. I have 8 siblings and we are all on a thread - we live all over N. America.
Able to keep up with each other.
Dad died at home at 89 with his kids taking care of him - the out of towners came as often as for as long as they could.
Mom has had dementia since Dad died - all kids are involved in her care.
Not all families are bad - they are loving and caring and know how much they owe their parents.
@Ghostwriter-o6c😅
its ruining the western world
I’m 75 this month. It’s August…. The eighth month of the year. We have a son, and a daughter who live in the same town. We saw our son once this year, and our daughter twice. You know… “they’re very busy.” We made a will years ago. I want to change it, my husband doesn’t. I told him, if he dies before me, the first thing I’m doing is changing that will. Not bitter, I just don’t think it should be expected.
You should have a separate will from your husband and can change it at any time. You do not have to wait until he passes away. If you are worried about his reaction just simply do it quietly. It's your life and your business.
Well your husband can change his Will to how he wants....but, he can't force you to change your Will to how 'he' wants! Stand on your own two feet and do as you wish, no need to tell him. What if you die first? I don't know where my kids live, they moved some years ago and didn't bother to notify me, but sure as hell you can be they will soon remember where I live when the time comes and will have their hands out. I'd love to be a fly on the wall to see their faces, because they will get SBA. Half goes to the dog's shelter and the other half to medical research (in line with a chronic illness I suffer from).
Invite them over Cindy.
To all of the people on here planning to leave money other than to relatives make sure your will is water tight. Over here in England if you're old and dont want your will challenged there are several things you need to do . I have just been researching this for someone in a similar situation. First you need to have an appointment with your doctor to for him to fill out a sworn document that youare of sound mind. Secondly write a letter to the person(s) who may be expecting your money explaining why they aren't getting it. Also write a letter to the person or charity who is getting the money explaining why. Keep these with your solicitor, neither person needs to know until after your demise. 3rd add a clause that they (the person expecting the money) cannot contest the will. If your will involves property it may be better to leave it to the person to sell as allowing your solicitor to do that can take ages. Don't forget to take out insurance on the property until it is sold. What my research revealed is that spending money on a respected solicitor and not being thrifty in this particular matter is money well spent if you want to ensure the people you want to inheritance your money do so. There are so many horror stories of greedy relatives challenging and winning the right to money that they were never meant t to have because of a poorly written will open to a different interpretation. 😊
Comments remind me of the song "Cats In The Cradle" By Harry Chapin. It's a must hear, just have tissues ready 😢
I’ve been on the dementia journey, with my late wife. I too, recognise the isolation, from family & friends. I am also a millionaire, in assets. When I’m dead, all my estate is divided up between charities & I have left a small pecuniary legacy to one or two friends, who did help me through my five year journey of caring full time for my beloved wife of 37 years. The family, ran off, when caring needed to be done. My wife’s children from a first marriage, we never saw them for the last three years of her life. I never even told them she had died - I don’t want that kind of scum, ‘paying their respects’ when there wasn’t any. No regrets from me. Namaste 🙏
@@speciallion1135 Sorry to hear about your wife. I have a few people in my family with dementia and have seen the same. My mother in law with severe dementia has been abandoned by her sisters & brother. When she was well she always had them over. My cousin has dementia and her brother took over POA but barely bothers to see her.
I would say travel and enjoy yourself and maybe donate a little to your favorite local charities now so you can enjoy seeing the gratitude and joy your gifts bring. 💗
this is so very sad..
Hard journey. Wishing you peace
My husband had a stroke 12 years ago, and his behavior changed dramatically. My stepsons rarely came to spend time after that. He was a really good dad. I gave them time to process the differences, but nothing changed. My son has been there at every difficult change. My daughter is very supportive, but lives across the country. She still came at intervals and called. Last year my husband became aggressive and hateful to me. He is now in memory care. We let my stepsons know. A year later, they still haven't called him. They'll get nothing.
@@Loraleijean good.
Veterans’ groups are getting some of mine. The bulk of my estate is going to the grand-niece who moved from Puerto Rico to California to take care of me while I underwent cancer treatment. When I had complications from the chemo, she slept on the floor of my room for 2 nights, and dedicated a year of her life to me. Not one complaint. Ever. She will never have to worry about making ends meet.
Did you ever see the Clint Eastwood movie "Gran Torino"? The reading of his will to his family is priceless! The whole movie was great.
😢 agreed.
One of my fave movies!
Brilliant movie
Great movie!
Absolutely love this movie ❤
St. Jude's hospital that treats so many children is also a really worthy place to donate to.
so is shriners hospital for children. think seriously about giving to them.
Do you actually have a St Judes local in your area, outside of Lost Angeles?
That’s what I’m doing. Great idea.
Everybody is donating to hospitals , schools etc but few are giving to animals. I support animal donations 💯
@@Galaxy-ho2pk This is where you get "save the whales" donations. I am very opinionated related to donating to saving ocean wildlife, when we have homeless human beings. No one has ever challenged, why an organization will help ocean wildlife, instead of saving human beings who actually can be saved from poverty. Animales do not spend currency so why should currency be put in to animals?
With all these outside of public schools and alternative hospitals, they dont help everyone who needs educations and hospital care. St Judes is one hospital. Why would anyone donate to a hospital, they can't go to?
I was the adult child who had to go no contact with a cruel narcissistic parent, for my own protection. I was written out of the will, of course, but don't care. I got back my sanity, which is worth more than money.
You sound like a jerk.
Great post.
the same happened to me. You are strong for doing what you had to do
@@lessmith7998 Thank you. Others have told me the same. If we compared notes we would probably relate to each other's experiences. Narcissists are very predictable.
You are so much better off! I'm autistic and have just learned of this. I had to go n/c and am learning to be a man at 38.
Take care from the southern interior of BC
Since you brought this up, I’ve realized that the ppl that care about me most, are the ones who can answer the most personal questions about me. Some family you see-but they don’t care about you---they are all about $$. Screw them all. It’s your money--IT IS YOUR MONEY WHEN YOU ARE ALIVE. You don’t owe them 💩
Agree. Animals don't have ego. They are the best of creation
Indeed
im about to be 59. shortly before my grandmother passing at 90, she asked me if i knew how many grand kids she had? not knowing? she said a grand total of 65. i was impressed! she also told me i was the only one who would religiously come see her for no reason, do lawn work, shovel snow, fix n paint things, without ever being asked, "unpaid of course" shes my grandma, and never once asked her for money. she left me with a good memory, and a desk. the praise she gave me was worth millions in my mind, and i will always hold that dear. its easy to be like the other 64, it pays to be different.
You never know, but, check the desk for hidden treasure .
@@VictorMartinez-vp9gd yer and let us know
Good story, thnx for posting.
My grandmother died in October at 99. The last ten years or so of her life I spent a lot of time talking with her. The wisdom I received and just talking with her is something I will always treasure.
The blessing belongs to you. The others will never experience it.
I heard the saying. Don’t reward bad behavior. The older I get I understand the point
I agree with the decision to give to an animal shelter. Not only will the animals benefit but it will bring joy to the people who love and take care of them. What ever is left in my savings will go in that direction. Hopefully I will have enough to give my favorite shelter to get a mobile unit for emergency services.
Wow.... I've been thinking about this same thing so much lately. I'm pushing 70, I live alone with my awesome cat, and my relatives don't give a rat's ass about me. My late father was a veterinarian, so I've always loved critters. You are so right. Thank you for this video.
God bless the animals and the people who love and care for them.
I have 3 siblings. The eldest, for the final 10 years never visited my mother. No birthday cards, mothers day flowers or Christmas gifts. Not even a telephone call in all that time. When she sadly passed away. He and his wife demanded the estate be sliced up 4 ways equally. My mother had sensibly made a will that left everything to my youngest brother who had lived with her for 10 years, also becoming her carer. I had made my own fame and fortune in life, therefore encouraged the choice she made. Karma, i believe is the quote😉
In some countries you are not permitted to leave out a child from your inheritance. The law says that all offspring get equal shares regardless of anything else
@@kaycee625 I couldn't help but wonder if you believe there's no way to navigate around the issue. Trust me there is!!!
@@stuartwilson3753 yeah like giving it to them before you pass. That way it’s not “inheritance” its a “gift”
@@elenalizabeth well done! Yes , but remember the time scale. May differ from one country to the next.
I see no one. I speak with no one.
I am my own best friend and I love me. 👵🙏✨
You are my hero! I feel the same!
You're my hero too. ❤
Yay for you, and for me! I feel the same!
❤
I don't hate people, I just feel better when they are not around. Bukowski
Hearing silence from my grandchildren now that they are in their 20's hurts. I do not feel obligated to leave my $ to someone like that. I love them but owe them nothing. I spent weekends with them and gave them everything I could as children. My son is the only one that is here for me. I owe him for that.
I’m an older guy. I think back to when I was younger - running the household. Wife, kids, job, bills, etc etc - it’s a lot to keep up with and those things have to take priority. I was good to my kids, I did it right, they moved on and are successful and that’s what I wanted. They do keep in touch - not as much as I’d like but they have their own life now - I can’t be angry with them. They aren’t here to keep me entertained. No need to be spiteful - life never works out the way you want or expect. Go out of this world being a good person.
That is a beautiful attitude.
Great attitude!
A really beautiful, kind and mindful post ❤
I am of this mindset 100% Things could be better but I raised them to live their own lives and they are doing exactly that, better than I ever did. They are actually happy and well adjusted humans :)
No. After my divorce I drove every month 500 miles round trip to see my children for 14 years. They never return the favor
That’s a shame but you were a GREAT dad to do that.
I’m sorry to hear that
Sounds like all they care about is themselves. The sad part is, it's a sign of the times. Just a tidbit of info, they have calculated that for the first time in mankind's history more than 50% of people in the US are irresponsible. It all adds up now doesn't it.
Omg, horrible 😮
I'll bet they call you a boomer LOL
Definitely an animal shelter. I bet relatives start creeping back to people when they have a sniff of inheritance. It's all down to greed......
🐕😀👍
Yes, absolutely. Nobody visits me either but blood is blood and I'm not going out an asshole.
I have very little possessions my three sons are very respectful and tends to my every needs , I wish I had millions to give them.
💙
So nice to hear.
Beautiful ❤️
They love you, not anything material you have to give. That’s precious❤
You are well and truly blessed.
I never felt my mom and dad owed me anything. It was their money. My dad had passed, but I encourage my mom to enjoy the fruit of HER labors. That’s not mine, it’s hers.
This! If I could give you more than one thumbs-up, I would. I consider my true inheritance to be what my parents taught me about living life with a good attitude, kindness toward others, and generosity, among other things like the joy of music and laughter and family. No amount of money compares. They worked hard for decades, and they took care of us kids well, and were generous with us, well into our adult years. But like you, I never felt like they owed me---it was their money; they earned it, it was theirs to do with as they wished on whatever they enjoyed.
I"ve seen other families fight about every little thing and want nothing to do with that kind of behavior. When my father was getting on in years he talked to me about his estate and what he thought would be left. My response was enjoy yourself, it's yours and if he timed it right he would spend his last dollar on the day he died but, if he ran out of money first then not to worry,...
Geez, that is totally refreshing to hear and SO UNUSUAL! Good soul…
@@jzoberekyou must be from another planet! Just too, too kind!
@@oliviacasino8888 Thank you, Oliviacasino! I'm a second generation American---my grandparents came to the US as teens in the early 1900s, worked hard, and made a good life for themselves, my dad and his siblings; I think that has helped my perspective also---I don't take certain things for granted. I'm nearing retirement myself now, and I know that my grandparents and my parents had worked much harder than I ever had to. Sometimes I'm astounded at the entitled attitude that some people have. My family's life wasn't perfect, but that doesn't mean it wasn't a good life all-in-all. I've always considered myself fortunate to have the family I had/have. Blessings of good health and good spirits to you, Oliviacasino!
All my family and friends were great. Then I got cancer. I was sick for years. My Dad, my daughter and one friend were there for me. My Dad has passed away my friend has moved on my Daughter calls me everyday and spends time with me. I see she is my only cheerleader. My dog was there through it all after 15 years he passed. Everything is my daughter's. She decided we should go on trips now go shopping now. We got rid of my stuff she does not want. Hopefully I live a lot longer but I feel better knowing almost everything is in order.
Sorry to hear that your dog passed on. 15 years is a long life for a dog. You must have taken good care of him. When I am older, I don't think I will have another dog (because what happens to it when I die?), but I might volunteer to walk a nice dog who lives in my neighborhood. That would give me some nice dog time, but without the responsibility.
I'm 78, all alone. Animals have always been at the top of the list. People are mostly not deserving. Sad isn't it. What have we become?
Wow it's amazing how many of us are in the same boat!!! Really sad that so many families are fractured. I'm in the process of figuring out my will. 😢
WOW I was surprised too..just got to be strong and carry on!!
yes, your little one line answer got over 100 likes in the last month!! Why it is almost like a "me too" movement! I don't see my sister, but I think I will give what I have to her. It is enough to change her life for the better.
There is nothing worse than coming to the realisation that your family don't love you, have never loved you, and only include you because of the obligation they have to you. It can be shattering and undermining if you are not emotionally mature enough to deal with it. But I say go for it - remove yourself from them permanently as I have done, and you will never look back. Leave your money to someone who really needs it.
Great comment. There's nothing more hurtful than your own children 💔
@@Live1959-y7b It's very heart breaking
@@Live1959-y7b Very true. They can't even carry on a phone conversation; you can hear the boredom in their voice.
It’s very hard to accept but once accepted we can start to heal.
@@connievaughn8468 bloody sheer ignorance 🙄 put the phone down on that nonsense.
I tried and tried to be there for my son. He couldn't do the slightest thing for me. I am having LOTS of fun with "his" inheritance. And the house and what's left will go to some folks that have been very good to us. Do what's in your heart.
Good on you Sue Enjoy life and think of you
The people getting the house will be so happy. Be sure your will is air tight so he can't challenge it.
Well said!!!!!!
Our family started out dysfunctional arguing and never having each other's back at a early age... And now we're in our 60s and it's pretty much the same .. when I die everybody can fight over it.. maybe the state will win...😮
My son will get everything while I’m living. He deserves all of it. My best friend. ❤
My mother was my best friend also
My son is a mentally disabled adult and he is my best friend too. ❤
You are very fortunate!
Your post is very cool and very rare. I’m happy for both of you..
75 here. Alone for years. No friends. Not lonely. Very happy.
Leaving everything to local charities......
Local charities, definitely the way to go.
But consider doing it through a trust fund. As far as I'm aware they will make sure the money is not frittered away.
Dumping a huge amount of money of a small charity might invoke someone's inner demons - if you get my drift.........
Hi. My name is Charity. Lol😅😅
really thought provoking. Leave it to someone that needs it, animal or otherwise. Not those that didn't have the time of day for you.
"Animals don't let you down". Always true!
Boy, you must have been reading my mind. My husband passed 4 1/2 years ago and I moved away 4 months later. Only one niece came to see me last Thanksgiving for a week. Another blood niece got divorced and moved in with me for a few months. She ended up buying a house and ended up with a major plumbing issue and no money to pay for repairs. She borrowed it from me and because of the economy, she made a few $75 payments a while back. She lives an hour away but rarely comes around. At 75, widowed, no kids, I am really alone. I feel used and looking to change my will and turn it into a living trust and leave everything to a no kill animal shelter. I am like you. Animals have treated me better than most of my family.
NO!
My only sister and her only daughter never call or write. My sister made it clear to me she never wants to see me again and she has somehow poisoned her daughter. I have texted my niece several times and after a long delay she gives a short answer, but never asks how I am or if I need anything. I have decided that I will not text her anymore. If any contact is made she will contact me. I was very sad about this, but just woke up one day, literally, and thought that I need to move on. I made a friend my executor to handle things including my wishes after cremation. He will receive the ashes and follow my wishes. As for my will and taking care of final expenses, he will see that all bills are paid, have an estate sale and see that residual funds are distributed as I requested. It took a while to get it finished, but I slept so well that night knowing that everything was settled without my blood family and the tension and ugliness of the last few years.
At this point in time, I feel they are no longer part of my life, as they wished, and I am no longer part of theirs and I am very much at peace with that.
No guilt.
Don't loan money to relatives, consider it a gift otherwise you'll probably get some bad blood when they don't pay back the "loan"
@@markbajek2541 Good advice. I learned that the hard way.
Do it!
@@markbajek2541 the first time they don t pay back a loan, that gifting sholud STOP for good!
When my mother was alive I took care of her for at least 25 years. I made sure her bills were paid and she had heat and cooling and food in her home. I did the plumbing and did maintenance work for her and took her on vacations and for years my sisters never would visit her. My sisters and their kids never contact me. I tried calling my older on her birthday and her welfare living son answered her phone and told me to quit calling her. My other sister lives 50 miles from me and the same. I am leaving my entire estate to four friends. The "beneficiary deed" was just recorded this week. I am so glad I did this.
Sounds like you got revenge in the end??
Same with me.
I’m sorry some of your family members are entitled ingrates. I love that you’re leaving your legacy to your four friends. Your loving family.
Good goin'!
My parents are so special to me had the honor of taking care of them.out of three siblings no one ever helped me. I took care of all of their rental properties as well, but when my dad was in his last days everyone came around hovering & wouldn’t let me see him. I was the executor of he estate. Needless to say my sibling sued me three times & havent spoken to me since. I have no family left . My daughter & son-in-law are the ones that help me. So they will get everything I have. My two sons don’t have time for me. It is very hard getting older alone!
I feel your situation. It is extremely difficult getting older & all alone.
Thank you 🙏 I’ve made up my mind after hearing this! I’m 66 years old my girls abandoned me after I put them through school University degrees. Neither kid will text call write nothing! I do volunteer work for a local no kill shelter I’ve made up my mind just now I’m changing my Trust! Thank you 🙏 and thank everyone for your comments!
The absence of my job removed a daily source of interaction and purpose. I’ve also found the shift from saving to spending a real eye-opener because every withdrawal feels like it directly impacts my savings growth. In hindsight, this has made me realize how early financial planning is, and honestly, the emotional toll of losing that sense of purpose is tough, especially since most of my friends and family are still in their routines
I'm approaching retirement and Ive found that having a financial advisor has been helpful. I started investing later than most, so relying on compound interest from index funds or bonds alone wasn’t enough for me. Despite that, I'm pleased to say I’ve managed to do well and am on track to retire with around $5 million
I'm worried about my retirement portfolio and could use some guidance. How can I get in touch with your advisor?
I usually avoid making specific recommendations because everyone's situation is unique. However, my experience with Emily Ava Milligan has been quite positive. You might find it worthwhile to see if her approach fits your needs
I looked for the name online and found her page. I emailed my inquiries. Thanks for the help
No way. I don’t miss work at all. I soon realized work friends are NOT friends at all.
I'm 73 moved back to AZ be by my daughter but only 2 hours away. Been here 5 months seen her and one of the grandkids 2 times. Probably going to move back home to California. I'm ready to go home to Jesus. Not suicidal but just tired of this unloving world 😢
Plan out your endgame folks.
So sorry Luisa. I’m in the same boat.
LuisaLoren I feel with you. Never forget: God loves you endlessly. Do good for people who do not expect it, to animals who do not DEMAND, to whoever gives you happyness without pressuring you. THAT is what I do .. my 3 dogs love me to bits and I love them. I do not see my child ... she has forgotten that she was very well taken care of by a loving mom who gave time, career, effort, tenderness ... all this is not worth 1 call in 5 years to her.
@@minomokwa744 thank you ✝️❤️🙏🙌. Yes ...I have the love of Jesus in my heart. I was happy when I had my two dogs. And it hurts so bad when I put my last one down. I was a mess😥. My daughter would say I treated my dogs better than her. 😥...My son's wife won't let me see my son who turns 55 this year. It's been five years since I have seen him. My daughter and daughter in law are the same. Arrogant, selfish and mean. I spend at least $1000 at Christmas and their birthdays. And I don't get anything from them. I'm done! And I'm not going to be in contact with them anymore. I will move and change my phone number. I have all I need in Jesus. So much love from Him and soon He will come and get me. God bless you and your doggies ❤️✝️🙏🙌✝️
Same boat, 79 in the middle of moving and shocked none of my family are supportive and helpful with my move. Feel so alone, will change trust after getting settled in new home.
I just brought my 88 year old mom to stay with me in texas. I would love her to move in but she likes California. She was supposed to leave several weeks ago but she keeps having me reschedule her flight to stay longer. I truly feel I’m the lucky one that she wants to keep staying. My mother in law just moved in to our home from cali. She had a fire at her complex that destroyed everything so she will be staying with us for now on. She only has her son. My mom had seven kids and everyone of wants to help and be around her and care for her. Most of my other siblings still work so I’ll keep her as long as she wants to stay and thank god everyday she does. ❤❤❤❤
What your mother said is 100% right. NO obligations to family, relative, friend etc if they never/ very seldom/ hardly ever is present in your life. Give it to someone that you feel deserves it, animal shelter or so.......
Give it in increments...from the grocery store clerk who always showed greetings and kindness to you, animal shelters, give it away every day!💕🌻
You are so true of the clerk at the store!! Some days it is the only smile I get from anyone.
If you do leave money to an animal shelter, please consider a local one. National organizations spend large amounts donated to them for inflated CEO and employee salaries.
Most of your big-time charities do that. A small amount gets to the people that really need it. Much more goes to the big shots in charge which is why I never give to the big bad charities. They're full of shit.
Also be specific about what you want it to go to such as a new building or spay and neutering or medical care for the animals and if you don't want it to go to fundraising parties or fundraising Galas or staff bonuses or salaries or administrative costs be sure you're very specific in your will. I have been in nonprofit for over 27 years and a restricted donation means that whomever you give it to the non-profit has to honor the terms of your donation if it's a restricted donation by law they have to honor the terms of your agreement so whatever you want it to go to maybe it's new kennels for the dogs maybe it's immunizations for the animals be specific in your will and if you want it restricted to a certain thing then they have to use those funds for that specific area. Just include a signed and dated letter with your donation or if it is an online donation there is a section for notes and put in their that you want your donations to go strictly to the overall care and well being of the animals and not to administrative costs, salaries, bonuses or employee perks.
@@MegaMkmilleryou can restrict your donation so if you give to an animal shelter for instance and you want it to go purely for vaccinations for the animals or for new kennels for the dogs or new beds for the cats you can restrict it I've been in non-profit over 27 years and if you lay it out by law that non-profit has to honor your restrictions. If you just send a check to a non-profit and you don't outline what you want it to go for for example the new building or to a specific thing they can use it for whatever they want and that means salaries and and bonuses and overhead which can be oftentimes wasted so just be specific and I would encourage you to give to local Humane Societies rather than National because you will see more of your money go into the animals in your local community for instance if that's what you want it to go towards
@@j.y.3604 Thanks for telling us that. I never knew i could make sure it went to the real cats, and not the fat cats. Ive gotta get moving then, and thanks again for the info.
@@MegaMkmiller Salvation Army are one of the worst with %12 getting to people in need.
For sure, give it to an animal shelter. Poor defenceless creatures, who cant stand up for themselves in this tough world - and i"m not talking about your relatives here!!! If people don't visit you, it means they don't care about you. Really get this 🇬🇧
Dog Lady here. Amen they are the best. I only have 1 brother and his daughter and my daughter. All the rest have past on. Average life to 62 and 64. I will be 59 on December 4th and haven't seen my brother or niece in over 7 years. Very sad. But I send cards and gifts for every occasion. Not even a card comes my way. So what my daughter doesn't want, will be sold and donated half to humane society and half to St. Judes. Because children are innocent and deserve a life. Sending blessings!
As I read these comments, 'Wow, there is so much pain out there. I feel them.' My daughter only comes around when she needs something.
2:53 - The more I see of people, the more I like dogs. You're under no obligation whatsoever to leave your assets to someone simply because you're related to them. Follow your heart.
I started a yr. Of only calling or texting people who call or text me. This will tell me who loves and cares for me. I'm 66yr. Old man who God has blessed in many ways. I too am trying to decide who to leave my money and wealth to. Really enjoyed this. Thank you kind sir..
I started doing this too, who has called or text me? I’m tired of always being the one reaching out and initiating contact
That is brilliant, I’m gonna steal that one!
I'm 71 y.o. going 72. Retired at FRA 66y.o. No ex-coworkers have any contact, sending them X'mas cards but no response. stoped sending cards, emails. No single family relatives or"friends"I know ever contacted me whether they live 2 blocks away or 3 miles away. Is this the meaning of life. I was hospitalized for a week, hospital personnel wandering if I have a family.
Just be careful, you don’t want to leave your inheritance to an animal shelter that just lines their pockets with your money, check them out.
Leave to The Asher House in Oregon. They are fantastic ❤
virtue signaling won't make up for your failed parenting and existence.
@@pamelameyer4277Yes what a good idea!!!
You can leave it in a trust fund, and it ca be paid in increments through a trust manager. If the charity shuts down, the trust can have the right to stop payments.
I agree, is there a CEO collecting a salary you could only dream of? Donate to the charity they live off??
I fell on hard times.An 85 and 91 yr old couple I met in town offered me a spot on their land.I bought a 23 ft RV wit the few bucks I had left....parked 1000 ft off the road and away from everything and everyone.Been here 5 yrs now!! I pay them a small rent for their electricity and fix anything they need.Their grandson and son live on this land.They all dont talk to each other.The son...2 houses down...doesnt even see his Mom on Mothers day.All because she wanted to leave a few acres to the grandson he doest talk to.Which started a war!!Like jackals they just wait for the old folks to go.These people were gifted this land by England..centuries ago...the roads named after the wife's family...yet know one knows or cares!! I do!!!.I wish I had normal parents like this!!! I visit these folks daily...while the family...on the same land doesnt!!The whole town awaits their death so they can start developing this land.Soon they will be gone...soon the vultures will be feeding....and I will become a leaf in the wind again.All the animals Ive come to love...the trees...soon all will be gone!!Stick with your animal shelter idea....its definitely a better cause.I too am alone ....with live family that I never see. With the way society has taken the moral down turn...I stay far away from people.Follow your heart friend!! Ill follow you on your journey..heres a sub! :)
You might be in for a surprise when they go. You never know.
Don't look down on the vulture. I love vultures. They are lovely creatures actually. They are definitely good parents, better than most humans. The young ones are fun and see mom and dad eating so they come around and learn to trust me too. They do us a valuable service you know. I can take a chicken leg bone that I left some meat on right out of my hands. It drives the dog crazy but the cat doesn't care. Fun fact about vultures, if we could put it in human terms. A vultures eyesight is so good he could read a newspaper from a mile away. Pretty cool huh.
@@thunderkittie679 Indeed they are a special animal!I did them an injustice comparing them to humans lol!!
My kids forgot i exist)))) im setting up my farm in Southern Iowa as a wilderness area with no hunting ect, only hiking. I grew up hunting and trapping there and decided to just give it back to the natural world. Im 60 and understand that our existence is just a very small blip in time.
Well done Daniel, giving your land back to the earth.
@mam8982 Thank you, but,,shouldn't you be sleeping at this time of day??))))
Thank you . That s beautiful. What great kindness.
@@danielmart7940 it’s daylight here!
That is a wonderful gift to like-minded people like yourself, who, if they could be face-to-face with you, would thank you. Thank you for giving back to nature and the animals that depend upon it.
No don't become bitter ! Some day ,even if your gone, we pray they will come around ! Your children are your legacy ✨️
i had to take care of my mother also during her last couple of years, me and the wife. it was hard, a lot of decisions with what to eat, her belongings, the nursing home, and her bills. Tip for all of us. Don't collect things you whole life like my mother did. In the end some stuff was donated, some went to relatives, but most of it just went in the garbage. Instead of spending money on stuff, go out to eat with friends, travel, and spend it on memories.
Just a note from a kind stranger. Perhaps, your mother loved getting her “stuff”and it made her feel like her surroundings were her “palace.” So stuff meant something to her…who knows? Thank you and wife for taking such good care of her, though, in her latter years. Good vibes go your way for what it’s worth!
I never asked my mother or father for a cent and didn’t even ask about their wills. What I would love to ask for just one more time is a bowl of her incredible Chicken and Dumplings and my Dad to take me fishing for flounder with night lights and spears and wadding boots! The memories are treasures enough!
Thanks for this. My daughter was just up on holiday for a week and didn't even come for a cup of tea. I'm feeling very upset, I don't know the reason. We didn't bring them up to be like this. Then i found your video and I feel less alone.
Write her a letter and tell her how sad you feel, and ask her why she didn’t come by. Pray for her.❤
Some people don't mind being alone, I'm one of them. A day alone is one more day I don't have someone asking for something for free. I'm very outgoing and can get by anyplace that has likeminded people, but if not I'm good to go all by myself. I think it's form being in the ARMY when I was young and spending days on end by myself.
I' m so sorry for your hurt. That has got to be such a painful realization that even a short meet-up with you wasn't a priority of hers. It makes me realize how blessed I am to have a very caring and doting daughter.
All my money and high collectibles, are going to various animal rescues. All in my will, trusts set up. My 2 cats, if they outlive me, have a trust as well, to the person who has said they would take them, together. Enough money to fully provide for them, food, toys, vet bills, meds, etc, and money for the person as a sincere thank you. My blood family are undeserving. Animals on the other hand, well, they are very deserving.
Me personally I would leave it to a animal shelter but I would do my research and leave it to a credible animal shelter that is actually going to do good with the money God bless and have a great day
I was my mother's sole caregiver through her dementia journey and blindness. My siblings refused to give ANY help, because she had nothing to give them financially (disgusting). My children (my dogs) gave me the support and strength to get out of bed each day and continue the soul crushing care of my mom until her death, with just me and my babies by her side. They continue to give me meaning and comfort in life without human family. In my opinion, animals are God's greatest gift to us; and they deserve all the help, love and security we can provide for them. All dogs want is to love and be loved❤ They are pure Joy❣
Totally agree. Greatest gift to humans.
Do whatever your heart tells you to do about giving part of your estate to family who have basically written you off. You could have a billion dollars and a dog would be loyal to you. Or you could be homeless, begging on the street, and the dog would still be loyal to you.
a dog is a animal, a possession, a fur covered slave of sorts. its not loyalty, it does not love, it dwells on its environment. dont feed your slave for several days, and see your slaves demeanor change. not so loving, and loyal anymore is it? it may hang w you while your homeless, for a while, but the only thing its really loyal to is its stomach.
@@lilfairycupcakeactually, you’re wrong. A dog will stay with you fed or not.
@@martiefurlong4609 lol and it also wont eat you when you drop dead in the kitchen, and nobody finds you for several days.
@@lilfairycupcake You`re wrong!
@@Susan-d2y well i hope u dont drop dead on your kitchen floor someday, and your herd of loyal/human cats does not eat you.
I would not leave anyone anything that never came to see or call me.
Maybe they are scared of you or you have a personality disorder or you don't share your address to receive a xmas card. Some people like to isolate themselves.
@@gold707786 If people like to isolate themselves, that is their right, however, for them to think that people will be thinking of them, gifting to them, would be odd assumption on their part.
@@gold707786 People isolate themselves because they have gotten tired of dealing with getting stabbed in the back by too many people and the constant BS!
@@gold707786 What's your point?
I go back and forth on this question. The bigger part is the lack of family who visit. Kids and grandkids. It’s a sad state of affairs Wishing everyone the best and hopefully have others outside of the family who pour into you. Bless you!!!
My Mom just passed weeks ago and I was pretty much the only one of 4 kids who was there to care for her, me and my daughter. Now I am having to divide up her small estate amongst the 4 of us and 3 steps who treated her like garbage. I would give anything to give every cent she left to an animal shelter or a soup kitchen because that would be honouring my Mom. It's always the humans that are never there to help that make the most noise when it comes to dividing up at the end😥
Make sure you collect fees for the work you're doing as executor. Depending on the state you live in, you may be entitled to 5% or more.
Don’t leave anyone anything, spend your money on yourself. Take vacations, go to fancy restaurants, spend it on yourself. If your family doesn’t brother to come by to say hi, then you don’t owe them anything..spend your inheritance on yourself and your animals
I agree, enjoy the money
💯
Sounds like a Boomer problem to me.
I agree....unfortunately our Socialist Government doesn`t want middle class people to accumulate wealth!
Ditto. I suggested that to my Dad as well. His kids are doing fine, you only have one life, treat yourself just be careful financially for whatever future you have.
I hear from nobody except for my son. And I’m good with that. Everybody else can kiss my butt.
i have 4, and they are all as equally worthless as their mother. consider yourself lucky to have a good son. im one of 5, and who would have guessed when it comes to taking care of my mom, im a only child. f ing amazing.
@@lilfairycupcake it’s sad really. Sorry that’s happened to you. You’re a good person for taking care of your mom.
Get buried face down, so they can kiss it. :)
I’m the same way.
Same. Daughter is dead to me. Son is great but lives on the other side of the globe. Dog rescue is getting what little I have
Hi from Leicester England I believe if the family you raised can't come to see you I myself have left my grown up children to get on with there life my money mine now so I believe you should travel and injoy your life 🎉🎉