When I was 20 I was concerned about what others thought of me. When I was 40 I learned not to care what people were thinking about me. When I turn 60 I realized that no one was thinking about me in the first place.
Oooooh so true when I was in my 20s I feared about what others thought but in time that fear exhausted me to a point where I don’t care I’m 38 now so I passed that stage of fear along ass time ago now at this age I care less of what others think of me I don’t live in that fear thank God
I hear you. I’m heading into a Thanksgiving dinner in a couple days with family members who are so bullying and toxic. I wouldn’t normally go, but our mother will be there and she’s already getting dementia. I’ve told myself that I can always call an Uber and get back to the hotel if I need to. I Don’t have to sit and suffer through all the drama anymore
My mom is the same age and I wish she was like this. I'm almost half her age and I had to cut her out of my life because she still needs to create drama to make life interesting for herself. Good on you for figuring that out and hope you get to live the best drama free life going forward.
Same here the stress and anger doesn't go away for a long time. I'm still dealing with it many years later. Stay stong and sober everyone. There are people who care.
Hi - Evalyn, I am also 60. I agree with you. Unfortunately most of the people who drain me the most are family doing and saying the same old stuff from forty years ago. I try to put distance but boy do they push to get what they want from me.
I think he is referring to deeper personal relation ships..inner circle attachments. Friends family business partners, e.i attachments base connections. Professional or personal business relationships and family especially. Those are attachments by default those people will realize the absence of your presence in their life financial or emotional . One love hommie❤❤ good stuff.
@mikefigures5075 A friend to all is a friend to none. Letting everyone into your life means you have no boundaries. Having no boundaries means standing for nothing.
@JCLove5819 toxic people weigh you down, and when you let them go, setting boundaries, that's when you're free to become the best version of yourself, happy, peaceful, contentment and believe in yourself. Toxic people don't want that because it means they don't control you. They only control you because you don't believe in yourself, that's my slant on it anyway
I am coming to that realization now. I think some care but not enough to invest very much into the relationship. I way over invest. I'm learning, and sloppily, how to not invest so much and sometimes nothing. Cheers to developing care for ourselves.
Letting go of people who you love with all your heart but who are toxic is one of the most courageous acts we can do in the name of self-love and self-preservation.
Sounds like my life about my toxic relatives. I left them at 14 when my mother told me after she moved there was no room in the home for me regardless of the spare room at the back of the house. I've don't get invited to anything significant like my mother's wedding. I used to ring on Xmas day but got told everyone is too busy to talk to me. No real loss though with narcissistic people. I reconnected with one member but I don't say what I really think about the others so I don't upset her. My beautiful life still goes on with my own family and wonderful support right here. And this is where it's at, not unproductive memories.
It’s true… but for me it’s been so hard and painful in my heart. To the point that physically hurts!😢 I missed so much my ex husband… more than I never thought I would… but then I make my self think in all of the heartbreak and problems he put me through 😢😢😢
@ Healing the grief of your loss will come in waves. Some days will be better than others but eventualy, as time passes, you will have learned to process what happened, and hopefully learned the lesson and released the pain.
The best things I did for myself was stop being a people pleaser, stick to my boundaries and go quiet. I don’t talk much any more, only when it’s required. I also don’t share anything about myself, especially with family. I like having things just to myself because it’s always a surprise to me how judgmental people can be and the silly things they’ll be judgmental about. I’m comfortable with silence and turning all the attention I used to give to others back to myself. I’ve blossomed and thrived in ways I could never have imagined. I don’t socialize with others much but I’m not lonely. I value my own time and life is peaceful because I’m not around others who drain every bit of energy out of me.
The comments sections on these kinds of videos are very therapeutic. I've learned a LOT about myself from listening to other's experiences. I can't speak to how much it's helped me. Even got me to see a counsellor.
I agree. I am 72 and over the last 20 years I have just quietly turned and walk away. Both with friends and relatives. I hate drama and people invent it just for thier own entertainment. So peacefull without them.
Gift. When it first happened I was devastated. But after some time I saw the value for both of us. He was right in leaving. I have found the person i used to and am welcoming her home.
Sad but true. I'm 62 and have quietly quit all social crap. i work my "gig" job twice a week, see my daughter/grandkids twice a month and I'm good. Dont need anything else... no gossip, no drama, no emotional upheaval.
Almost 3 months of no contact with my family. I just couldn’t anymore. The last straw was my mom called me on the phone, shouting out nasty names she even called me an alcoholic. I literally never drink alcohol and I’m 40. Ugh. I changed my number and was done.
My son stopped talking to me. When he wouldn't answer the door, I chose to accept how he feels. I have not tried to contact him or bother him. My daughter died almost 9 years ago, so he is my only living child. (Their father also passed, 18 years ago.) It was very difficult at first, to let go of someone who I loved so deeply. One thing I have learned, you cannot make someone love you and ,often people do not love you as much as you love them. I have accepted he does not wish to be a part of my life. I have more peace now. His problems do not become my problems. I believe this was a gift to me from GOD.
You are absolutely right. You have to take care of you and if it's meant for your paths to cross again, you will. But in the meantime you have to take care if the most important person who you see in the 🪞 mirror and it's okay. 🙋🏾♀️💜🙇🏾♀️
Too many times with too many people. My best life began when I quit being a people pleaser. Enough was enough. Edit: How great is it to see you aren't alone in your thinking?!
Good for you man. I'm walking the same path due to toxic behaviour and I just had enough. A disrespectful, aggressive, beligerent brother in law, a liar/gaslighter sister that has never apologized in her life..... Sometimes you've just got to draw a line in the sand. It's hurting my mother but I am not the family therapist, I'm an honest, decent man and I deserve to be treated with respect.
@itzajdmting I'll tell you what, it's amazing how someone else can share something and you stop and think, wow this person is dealing with the EXACT SAME situation as me. We aren't alone in seeing these boundaries, they're certainly necessary. Good for you on finding that clarity. It hurts in the beginning, but it's so damn worth it. I wish you the best on your journey!
@@BrandonAlexanderWalksWow, no way!? Sorry you're in this frustrating situation too. Absolutely it's important to stay the course no matter what BS gets aimed at you from the other parties. Your peace is everything.... Protect it. ... All the best 👍🏽
Boundaries are good only when the person you are dealing with respects boundaries. Most people don't care about others boundaries. If someone is angered motivated they don't care about your boundaries and are only interested in their prime aims is to hurt you...imo...
As someone who abruptly stopped drinking and doing drugs due to a certain comeuppance, I acknowledged my mistakes while my back was against the wall and I managed to pull through for the good. I am flying to my sixth Continent in November twenty-five. I volunteer as a peer support worker while listening and encouraging fellow addicts that there is life after addiction. The people close to me still think I am a pathetic loser and that will be their conviction of me, nobody likes to see change and that is a given. To all: Peace, love, respect, happiness, good fortune, stay healthy, remain in tip top shape and Never give up.
True story. My terrible headaches stopped when i walked away from toxic family and friends. It was spiritual. It was needed. Not easy but do it FOR YOU❤
Wow this comment hit me. Just last year i had to go to hospital for a cat scan after pounding headache over my right eye. I had also blood tests and biopsy and they found nothing wrong. It's strange how stress and toxic people can affect your health in such a way. I'm in a better place now and the headaches have gone. I hope you have managed to purge those problems as well. Onwards and upwards 💪
If you see someone as a priority and they see you as an option, let them go. My inner circle is small because of this, but stronger relationships with those that matter.
I had to walk away from a family relationship last year. Yeh it was sad but he is a narcissist I'd been trying to love for 40 years. No, he had no love for me. His toxicity and negativity were draining and I'm so much more at peace now. 😊
Nobody respected my boundaries or growth. I used to be a little surprised (or maybe angered) that some of those people didn't congratulate or at least acknowledge my (fairly obvious) growth, but rather seemed to resent it! And now it's just me and my peace.
@@tamzillaexactly that. Once they perceive or believe that you're "doing better" than them (even if you aren't overall, but maybe considerably in one aspect), then they start the snarky and sarcastic comments. It's very strange. First, we push back and try to explain. They continue. We maybe try one more time to explain. They continue. We silently listen and accept it. They continue. We don't respond. They continue. Now we're gone, without a word.
I "broke up" with a fairly large group of "friends" 2 years ago. BEST DECISION I ever MADE! The negativity, the using, the lack of empathy, the unawareness of what they were doing wrong, and how hurtful and blind they were to myself and others around me. I have NEVER been happier.😊😊😊
I can totally relate. I had a group of friends that I grew up with. We hung out almost every weekend for 35 years! That turned toxic, eventually...I left that group 3 years ago. We see each other on different occasions but I no longer go out of my way to spend time or energy on them. I've never felt more liberated. Now I can truly see how much of my life was wasted on people that weren't worth it. Lessons learned.
I finally let go of my toxic family relationships at 57 and my life has never been better - I’m polite and kind but they don’t get to use me as a sponge to absorb their inferior feelings anymore Life changing
I did this at 58 as well. It was profoundly freeing. May you find wonderful friends (should you choose) and have continued peace. This was a great reminder to have stumbled upon this morning. Thank you so much.
I Love this. it is truly proven that we dont live life, we learn it. As a empath, this has been to date my biggest struggle. I am naturally more comfortable helping others feel safe or encouraged or validated over my own comforts and boundaries. I am now aware and working on this because it has cost me a lot up until this point in my life. It is a daily struggle learning to be selfish and learning that it is indeed not a bad thing at all to let people miss out on you. It is the only way I will ever accomplish my goals in life. I am grateful to have found this video..
Gift! Last year my brother died. I had taken care of him all by myself for four years. I had to do the funeral all by myself. But my other brother, he’s very toxic and narcissistic. Dictated who was allowed to come to the funeral and who wasn’t. But I chose not to follow his bullying tactics.. he screamed and yelled at me and I hung up on him, and I have not spoken to him since. My toxic brother has always been a bully, and he uses his voice to abuse. I’m choosing not to ever step back into that relationship unless he changes. My life has been much more peaceful without him. Thanks for this encouragement.
I had the same problem; my older brother that I no longer speak to him as well. My parents now deceased allowed him to bully me since I was a toddler to my adult years. I cut him off in 1998 after 33 years of bullying by him after I went counseling about him. Like I said, He was a bully towards me; a narcissistic and manipulative person; aggressive and a physical bully with his loud condescending voice to sap my energy, putting me down front of everyone, never letting me have my voice heard, etc -I won’t tolerate it from him again. I am glad I did cut him off years ago and he was so angry and hated me during my mother’s funeral years later. I know he will never change. I tried to work it out with him through my counselor’s advice at that time years ago. Now I have my peace and am happier without him; He’s dead to me. I hope your peace without him is better for you. We both don’t deserve it period! I wish you all the peace and I am sorry for your brother. May he rest in peace. ❤
What if u come from a toxic narcissistic family & how am I the only one who's not, matter a fact I'm an empath. Now that I'm an adult I stay away from most, because all I seem 2 attracted is narcissistic people especially men. Soooo,so grateful I'm not a lonely person cuz it'll b all bad. Just kinda sucks cuz I been hurt so much, I rather no new friends or meet new people if they end up as narcissist. How is it possible not to attract them?
@@tanyawellington1604 You have to do inner child work. You keep attracting these people because you’re subconscious mind attracts them into your life. When you were a child you were taking in loads of information and the adults around you is what imprinted on your subconscious. You took this into your adult life and now can only seem to attract toxic and narcissistic people. The only way to stop it is to change those imprints. It’s not easy because they were so ingrained from our formative years - but it is possible. I work with a Neuropsychologist who helps me do this and it’s been incredible how all my relationships and people in general that appear in my life have changed from being toxic to being supportive and healthy. I also feel better about myself too. It’s pretty amazing. But anyways I’ll just bet that’s what going on with your life too.
@@gayledaniels4556 it sounds like you and I went through the same thing. I am happy for you that you found your peace. It’s a shame that they ruined lives and then have the audacity to blame us. But we are their loss. And I’m happier without them and it sounds like you’re too. God bless.
@judithwalker5681. Yes. And something that I noticed recently about that passage is that the prodigal son returned because he was hungry. It never says that he returned because he loved his father and was remorseful for how he treated him. We humans are so broken. Still praying for my prodigals.
@@gracerules2423 it’s true his hunger and the realization of how trashed his life had become is what sent him back home but the scripture does say that when the som apologized to the father, he did not make any excuses for his behavior. He completely owned up to it and did not set any expectations of how the father “should” treat him in response to his repentance.
People will notice the change in your attitude towards them But will not notice their behaviour that made you change... A quote I have seen that is so absolutely 💯 true.
I’m in my 60’s and I have a brother I love dearly. We live several hours away from each other, and I was always the one driving to see him. After he verbally attacked me, seemingly out of nowhere, I understood the level of resentment that had been building up in him. While he never overtly objected to or discouraged my visits, it became clear he was hosting me out of feelings of obligation, and over time, the resentment built up until he just one day exploded. I was shocked and hurt, to say the least, but it was a wake up call. I came to realize I was putting more energy into maintaining our relationship than he was. I decided I needed to “care less” and step back. When he reaches out, I engage with him, but I am no longer the one driving engagement. I think this arrangement is much healthier for both of us.
I used to touch base with my brother monthly or so on the phone. Twenty years ago I decided to let him be the one who called me. He never has. So now he knows 1/100th of what he used to about my life, and we communicate largely via email.
My wife has decided to move out. At first I was angry. Then I was sad. Then I decided, for myself, it was for the best. I have a reason to quit drugs, get healthy, and focus more at work; and I need to do those things alone. No more arguments. No more stress.
That example of your friend calling to apologize and admitting his wrong is literally one and 1 billion but I’m glad you had that experience. But the point still stands, great video.
I am in the process of removing people from my life who aren’t healthy for me. It is beginning to get lonely but I can fill that space with self care and things I enjoy. My whole entire life I’ve been surrounded by the wrong people. At 47 I am finally doing this.
I feel ya_ I'm 42, my family I haven't seen in a whole year_ they've committed a negative action towards me that made me distance myself from them__ I always feel lonely without friends, it's not like before, having all source of clusterIzed group of known individuals, before of course, versus to zilcho of companionships_ it can get extremely lonely _ since I'm unemployed it doesn't assist me in a well manner either _ but it's important to also
In my marriage, I put myself last for 7 years and became fat, weak, unhealthy, broke, and depressed. Never again. It has been four years since my divorce, and self-improvement and self-care are my top 2 priorities.
Zero guilt for setting boundaries. I choose who stays and who goes. I’m over games. The best part is I’m totally comfortable walking my own path. Not many people are. I have peace, and that is everything.
Since I hit my 40’s I have been shedding old friends and family. Everyone is allowed their choices and me and mine are allowed to choose to walk away from those who keep choosing chaos. Choose peace.
I am 56 and I have had my 2 true friends for 40 years. We went through the Marines together back in the 80's. We may not speak as much as we used to but we are always there for each other no matter what. True friends
I understood this when I realized that all my "friends" often needed my help but were never available when I needed help. Went my own way and started doing things for me only. Best decision ever!
Jesus is the reason I choose to keep going in Life! Jesus Christ has opened so many doors for me because I worship Him! By choosing to follow Christ, I have learned the true value of Life itself and what God wants for us. Jesus is always there, helping us achieve the best. So many turn away from God and are left in darkness. Jesus brings us to Light! May our Lord bless and protect you for eternity! AMEN!
It hurts when you realize that they didn't fully see you as the human that you are. Ever. And that you were just degrading yourself for crumbs of attention or their time. Thanks, Chad. I will find strength in my solitude.
Thank you for your message. I left my home town , family and friends 5 yrs ago. I moved 3000 miles away. I'm 62 living on my own with my 2 dogs and 2 cats. I am free to be me! ❤❤
I learned a very long time ago how to cut people out of my life when it became obvious I was being drained of my energy, or when they showed they did not live up to my standards of who I associate with. Some types of people do not deserve your time and energy. Not sorry.
I have become so free since I've purposefully changed my attitude about living life without harboring the drama of others, and I like it! Boundary setting is the key! 😊👍🏾
Wow. This one really hit home. I’m a bit of a rolling stone which gathers no moss when it comes to friends and people. The best human experiences are often with those you may never meet again, for you don’t judge them from their history but see them as they are in that moment. If they stick to you, great, if they don’t you have served each other and rolled away. Gift.
Going on Year 3 of almost entirely by myself. Weekend Mass or occasional resturant. But stopped Drinking an no one respects that. No one respects your beliefs.. Ones that did died... You make a few more friends but more just hellos. As you get older no college, work, retired the people you meet are very little.. So um ya... respect yourself an although Im a bit lonely now an then, I can say I am extremly happy, fullfilled, an learned a ton about myself.. Its actually very comforting, but most of all Peaceful! so Peaceful.. No booze now 677 days, an many other changes they dont understand.. Yoga, Mass, Meditation... understand im a total blue collar, oil field, Cowboy, outdoorsy wild ass ( well former) Non of my friends see it or respect it.. 1 has said .. Good Job. thats it.. Embrace alone!
Perfection 💖💖💖! I've had to let my entire family and friend circles go. I've also checked out of my marriage but my husband hasn't even noticed 😅! I live a quiet life with my dogs, horses and wildlife including crows and ravens. I have hobbies and meet all kinds of similar-minded 2:47 people through book clubs, music lessons, etc. I'm so much happier than I've ever been at age fifty-seven 💖💖
I had a falling out with a very close friend of 8 years over a simple misunderstanding. It wreaked havoc on me that something so stupid ruined a friendship I thought to be bulletproof. And then I heard the quote "stop losing your mind over people that don't mind losing you." They are now, unfortunately, part of my past. Thanks for the vid
Same here. She initiated the falling out over a silly error I made, forgetting I was by her side in the hospital, helped her grandkids, etc .... I was devastated. I sent an "I am sorry" and think I am going to move on. . Love that quote, thanks.
Most people don't care about most people. I can say the same about most family members, too. I am a 45 year old divorced man with a son & daughter. 99% of my free time(outside of work) is dedicated to us & I wouldn't have it any other way.
GIFT! Yes, I left my narcissistically-abusive family, set boundaries for neighbors, told a narcissistic friend to “bounce”. I am alone. But I have me. I know there will be some regrets. But, being abused won’t be one and reactive abuse won’t be one either.
@ well, keep in mind, we’re responsible for our own actions, legally, no matter what buttons someone else presses. It important to stand back and look at the dynamic, in slo mo. Also important to understand whether you’re dealing with a narcissist, who very readily, doesn’t seem to care if they get positive or negative supply, with negative supply meaning that they may not care if you beat the living crap out of them. That was what I felt like I was dealing with, in my mother. That she didn’t quite care, if I shoved her down a flight of stairs, as long as my life was ruined, in the process. This is just one of the many reasons why I left. I didn’t want to become frustrated, triggered, manipulated and end up paying for what she might’ve actually deserved, on some level. I gave her no more to work with. As she did not want any professional help and as my sister was blocking it anyway, there was nothing left to do, but exit. Perfect, as no one, not even the authorities, could ask me anything.
I learned last year how important it is to set boundaries. I think it’s tied up in your willingness to say no and letting go of being a people pleaser and being ok with someone being mad at you or not liking you because of it
I walked away from a lot of friends and family after a bad case of encephalitis. It did teach me that people who matter will fight to keep you in their life.
In 2019 I realized i was codependent. I started working on myself because it was literally chipping away at me day by day. I went to CoDA. I created boundaries. I started sticking up for myself and not giving two effs about anyone elses feelings concerning my life. Once I created boundaries, i lost EVERYONE in my life. That is how toxic things were for me. I was the scapegoat of my immediate family up into late 40's. I am now extremely authentic. If you dont like it, move along because I LOVE MY PEACE!! ❤ The painful part now is healing and forgiving.
This made me cry. So spot on. Over the past ten years or so I've had to separate myself from many people. Our values didn't align. Some were family. I wish they would wake up and come back like your friend did, but I will NEVER sacrifice our freedom, democracy, humanity, or anything else just to hang on to a person. This applies to way more than politics.
Some people will never understand you. And use that as excuse to mistreat you. we focus on values, but rarely focus on the person sitting in front. That's the issue with humans. by the time they care. It's too late.
I remember this quote from a movie. Not sure, but think it may have been the Robert Redford/Demi Moore one "Indecent Proposal". That quote made an impression on me and I have always remembered it.
After 20 or so years of trying to connect with my Dad I finally give up… he constantly ignored me or told me what I was doing wrong. It’s time to focus on my own family now. I’m a 49 year old man I don’t need to be told what to do like a child. I let go of this dis functional relationship that has bought me nothing but pain. All the best Dad no hard feelings. I treat this like a gift from God that makes me a better father 🙏
I Am A Gift! I Am grateful God is opening, expanding my awareness, my Heart He placed wirhin me... to love more. Thankyou Chad for helping this unfolding along. Learning this LOVE starts within me, so to be able to share it outwards. 😌💜🤲🙏
Thank you 🙏 I needed to hear this. My girls abandoned me 9 years ago after I put them through University education! I’ve tried and tried but no response from them none nothing. Extremely painful frustrating and I’m now learning to accept this and learning how to live without them in my life! I will always love them but I’m moving on. Thank you 🙏
It hurts. My daughter never calls or texts me, im the one who initiates it. I try calling every now and then. Sometimes ill send a text. She sometimes answers her phone or texts back. I dont get upset about it anymore. I give up. She hasvpretty much cut me out of her life. So i just find ways to enjoy me life. Im so use to being alone, i dont get lonely.
I had to move 7 hours away from where I was born so that I could grow. It is a good thing :D I learned who my "real" people are, some truly surprised me. It's a good thing
I am a 72 year old woman, married and childless by choice. I do rescue dogs and that is where my joy is. With the exception of my husband and dogs I am alone. I am the only living member of my birth family on both my mother's and father's side. When mom died in 2018 I chose this. You could say I have my husband's family but the good died and the bad still remained. I have been villified in his family because of this. With more days behind me than in front of me I chose peace instead of toxicity. My husband remains connected they are his family afterall. The first few major holidays were hard. I no longer celebrate xmas, Thanksgiving or any other holiday. Just an average day on the calendar. Thru my algorithms I came across your channel and am so grateful I did. I have listened to all of them but THIS ONE felt like you were reading my mind. Thank You for making it make sense for me.❤
You're not alone sugar! The good ones always go it's true. My dad just passed and I also have no family. From one soul to another, stay awesome sugar! Your life is exactly that! ❤
I'm 43 and I'm also childfree. People always say well who is gonna take care of you when you're old? Someone else's kid that went to school for it, I guess! Having children is not a retirement plan. My dad died last year and where is my stepmom? With me. She has a whole biological daughter, but she's with me.
We don’t walk away to teach people a lesson. We walk away because we have learned our lesson…. Ghost.
I can 💯 get behind that! ✌🏻
Wow i have never had someone articulate this so well. I swear im going to steal your quote😂
Oh...I like that:)...thanks!
Very well said! I never thought of it that way.
Period... 👏
"Being alone is not all that bad, being with people that make you feel alone is the worst" - Robin Williams
Thank you for watching ✌🏻
Who's gonna say it? 🤔
Or, being with people you don't like or respect any more. What's the point? I'd rather have no friends at all.
Great man he was Robin Williams
Why I divorced. (He treats me better now!)
When I was 20 I was concerned about what others thought of me.
When I was 40 I learned not to care what people were thinking about me.
When I turn 60 I realized that no one was thinking about me in the first place.
👏👏👏
🎉
🤣😂 Ain't that the truth
Oooooh so true when I was in my 20s I feared about what others thought but in time that fear exhausted me to a point where I don’t care I’m 38 now so I passed that stage of fear along ass time ago now at this age I care less of what others think of me I don’t live in that fear thank God
100%
When people do not care about your presence, give them the gift of your absence!
Don't make people a priority ... who make you an option...
@@arkangelnorthman absolutely!💯
Perfect
That is true.
Say it loud❣️
PREACH
My hardest goodbye's were to people I loved. They drained me. I needed peace. I'm 60 now, and I have no time for their drama.
It’s not easy. 🙏🏻
I hear you. I’m heading into a Thanksgiving dinner in a couple days with family members who are so bullying and toxic. I wouldn’t normally go, but our mother will be there and she’s already getting dementia. I’ve told myself that I can always call an Uber and get back to the hotel if I need to. I Don’t have to sit and suffer through all the drama anymore
My mom is the same age and I wish she was like this. I'm almost half her age and I had to cut her out of my life because she still needs to create drama to make life interesting for herself. Good on you for figuring that out and hope you get to live the best drama free life going forward.
Same here the stress and anger doesn't go away for a long time. I'm still dealing with it many years later. Stay stong and sober everyone. There are people who care.
Hi - Evalyn, I am also 60. I agree with you. Unfortunately most of the people who drain me the most are family doing and saying the same old stuff from forty years ago. I try to put distance but boy do they push to get what they want from me.
Most people don't really care about you in the first place. Walking away won't make them miss you, but it will show you who doesn't care.
Thank you!✌🏻
I walked away from people. They asked me what it was like not having any friends? I said every time my phone rings there is a friend on the other end.
I think you’re right.
It’s a cowardly hateful thing to do God sees
I think he is referring to deeper personal relation ships..inner circle attachments. Friends family business partners, e.i attachments base connections. Professional or personal business relationships and family especially. Those are attachments by default those people will realize the absence of your presence in their life financial or emotional . One love hommie❤❤ good stuff.
"strong people forgive, intelligent people ignore" - Einstein (forgive & ignore)
Beautifully said! 💪🏻
“I don’t know what the key to success is .. but the key to failure is trying to please everyone “
@@mikefigures5075 I can get behind that! ✌🏻
WOW, that's profound, BRAVO to you for being smart.
@mikefigures5075 A friend to all is a friend to none. Letting everyone into your life means you have no boundaries. Having no boundaries means standing for nothing.
Anyone Who Knows The Key To Success Knows The Lock That Opens The Gate To Hell
@ that sounds like a cope for lack of successes.
Less is more. The less you spend around toxic humans, the more you become
Word!
@JCLove5819 Answer: The Opposite of Toxic!
@@eddiemcloughlin3200 Thank you!✌🏻
@JCLove5819 toxic people weigh you down, and when you let them go, setting boundaries, that's when you're free to become the best version of yourself, happy, peaceful, contentment and believe in yourself. Toxic people don't want that because it means they don't control you. They only control you because you don't believe in yourself, that's my slant on it anyway
@JCLove5819. Better: Happier, healthier, peaceful, calm, joyous, free, unburdened. That's what better means to me!
I came to realization that nobody cared about me and accepted it. It lifted the weight off my shoulders.
I am coming to that realization now. I think some care but not enough to invest very much into the relationship. I way over invest. I'm learning, and sloppily, how to not invest so much and sometimes nothing. Cheers to developing care for ourselves.
I, too, come to the realization that nobody cares about me. I surrender it all to God.🙏
I felt the same
Amen brother. I feel the same way been that way all my life finally at 73 years old I realized people really don’t care.
That’s sad. You are a lovable person. You just haven’t found your person.
Walk away from any friendship where you always give, but never receive. I did and have no regrets.
Letting go of people who you love with all your heart but who are toxic is one of the most courageous acts we can do in the name of self-love and self-preservation.
Sounds like my life about my toxic relatives.
I left them at 14 when my mother told me after she moved there was no room in the home for me regardless of the spare room at the back of the house.
I've don't get invited to anything significant like my mother's wedding. I used to ring on Xmas day but got told everyone is too busy to talk to me.
No real loss though with narcissistic people.
I reconnected with one member but I don't say what I really think about the others so I don't upset her.
My beautiful life still goes on with my own family and wonderful support right here. And this is where it's at, not unproductive memories.
Thank you ✌🏻
Yes!
It’s true… but for me it’s been so hard and painful in my heart. To the point that physically hurts!😢 I missed so much my ex husband… more than I never thought I would… but then I make my self think in all of the heartbreak and problems he put me through 😢😢😢
@ Healing the grief of your loss will come in waves. Some days will be better than others but eventualy, as time passes, you will have learned to process what happened, and hopefully learned the lesson and released the pain.
When you do you, the right people show up.
Yes!🙌🏻
This
Yes and that makes me feel there's purpose in life
No they don't.
Always hope ❤
The best things I did for myself was stop being a people pleaser, stick to my boundaries and go quiet. I don’t talk much any more, only when it’s required. I also don’t share anything about myself, especially with family. I like having things just to myself because it’s always a surprise to me how judgmental people can be and the silly things they’ll be judgmental about.
I’m comfortable with silence and turning all the attention I used to give to others back to myself. I’ve blossomed and thrived in ways I could never have imagined. I don’t socialize with others much but I’m not lonely. I value my own time and life is peaceful because I’m not around others who drain every bit of energy out of me.
I'm glad you've found a path that brings you peace and joy.
Wow I want to be like you!!! 2025 goals ❤
@@tiwanalovesme, too!
YEAH THAT'S THE WAY I AM NOW TOO, AT FIRST I FELT SELFISH ABOUT IT , BUT NOW I SEE IT'S HOW I STAY IN PEACE !*
Love this comment so much. Wishing you all the best. Really proud of you ❤🙏☀️🎁🥳🥳
Its better to stand alone with truth and strength than to stand with many who do not know your essence.
This!!!!
Buy the time they realize they want you back. You dont want to come back..
That can happen too. ✌🏻
Amén ❤
I’m know I’m not
I’m know I’m not
That is so true 👍. You already walked away, why would you want to go back to what you left?
The comments are just as good as this video .
Amazing people showing up!
We are changing the algorithm and finding our peace online ❤
These people are angels on this earth!❤
Facts❤
The comments sections on these kinds of videos are very therapeutic. I've learned a LOT about myself from listening to other's experiences. I can't speak to how much it's helped me. Even got me to see a counsellor.
Good reminder before Christmas. We don't owe our time to people who don't appreciate our presence
AMEN!!!
@@monikamona6844
Or gift.
"Don't cast pearls before swine." Silence is a powerful tool. I'm happy your friend saw the light! That's rare, good for you
The hard part is when we know they don't care, even when we still do, and when letting them miss out on us, feels like we are the ones missing out.
Agreed💔
I agree. I am 72 and over the last 20 years I have just quietly turned and walk away. Both with friends and relatives. I hate drama and people invent it just for thier own entertainment. So peacefull without them.
Thank you!✌🏻
Gift. When it first happened I was devastated. But after some time I saw the value for both of us. He was right in leaving. I have found the person i used to and am welcoming her home.
@@janesurmi4688Sweet!
May you live to be 100 and enjoy every year of it as a free person.
Sad but true. I'm 62 and have quietly quit all social crap. i work my "gig" job twice a week, see my daughter/grandkids twice a month and I'm good. Dont need anything else... no gossip, no drama, no emotional upheaval.
They hate when you leave because they don’t a punching bag.
Facts - whether, mentally, emotionally, spiritual, relationally so.
Frfr
@@Lifeisshortby Thank you!✌🏻
Almost 3 months of no contact with my family. I just couldn’t anymore. The last straw was my mom called me on the phone, shouting out nasty names she even called me an alcoholic. I literally never drink alcohol and I’m 40. Ugh. I changed my number and was done.
@@mesalouis8976
❤😓🙏🩷🫥😵💫❤️💔💦🤲❤️🔥
Boundaries saves lives
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
My son stopped talking to me. When he wouldn't answer the door, I chose to accept how he feels. I have not tried to contact him or bother him. My daughter died almost 9 years ago, so he is my only living child. (Their father also passed, 18 years ago.) It was very difficult at first, to let go of someone who I loved so deeply. One thing I have learned, you cannot make someone love you and ,often people do not love you as much as you love them. I have accepted he does not wish to be a part of my life. I have more peace now. His problems do not become my problems. I believe this was a gift to me from GOD.
Thank you 🙏🏻
I heartily agree with you.
I stopped talking to my mother cause she was a violent alcoholic who blamed the whole family for her issues.
Same. Happier, richer, too.
You are absolutely right. You have to take care of you and if it's meant for your paths to cross again, you will. But in the meantime you have to take care if the most important person who you see in the 🪞 mirror and it's okay. 🙋🏾♀️💜🙇🏾♀️
Too many times with too many people. My best life began when I quit being a people pleaser. Enough was enough.
Edit: How great is it to see you aren't alone in your thinking?!
Yes, exactly! Had to let family say what they want about me and do my own thing. Gift is to respect yourself enough to know who deserves your time.
Thank you brother!✌🏻
Good for you man. I'm walking the same path due to toxic behaviour and I just had enough. A disrespectful, aggressive, beligerent brother in law, a liar/gaslighter sister that has never apologized in her life..... Sometimes you've just got to draw a line in the sand. It's hurting my mother but I am not the family therapist, I'm an honest, decent man and I deserve to be treated with respect.
@itzajdmting I'll tell you what, it's amazing how someone else can share something and you stop and think, wow this person is dealing with the EXACT SAME situation as me. We aren't alone in seeing these boundaries, they're certainly necessary. Good for you on finding that clarity. It hurts in the beginning, but it's so damn worth it. I wish you the best on your journey!
@@BrandonAlexanderWalksWow, no way!? Sorry you're in this frustrating situation too. Absolutely it's important to stay the course no matter what BS gets aimed at you from the other parties. Your peace is everything.... Protect it. ... All the best 👍🏽
If you aren’t setting boundaries because you’re afraid that might cause conflict… you’ve already lost.
Boundaries are good only when the person you are dealing with respects boundaries. Most people don't care about others boundaries. If someone is angered motivated they don't care about your boundaries and are only interested in their prime aims is to hurt you...imo...
Amen
@@bobinthewest8559 Thank you!✌🏻
Thank you ✌🏽
Oh my gosh. That's the truth.
As someone who abruptly stopped drinking and doing drugs due to a certain comeuppance, I acknowledged my mistakes while my back was against the wall and I managed to pull through for the good. I am flying to my sixth Continent in November twenty-five. I volunteer as a peer support worker while listening and encouraging fellow addicts that there is life after addiction.
The people close to me still think I am a pathetic loser and that will be their conviction of me, nobody likes to see change and that is a given.
To all: Peace, love, respect, happiness, good fortune, stay healthy, remain in tip top shape and Never give up.
Thank You!
That last one is the best, never ever give up.
True story. My terrible headaches stopped when i walked away from toxic family and friends. It was spiritual. It was needed. Not easy but do it FOR YOU❤
Wow this comment hit me. Just last year i had to go to hospital for a cat scan after pounding headache over my right eye. I had also blood tests and biopsy and they found nothing wrong.
It's strange how stress and toxic people can affect your health in such a way. I'm in a better place now and the headaches have gone.
I hope you have managed to purge those problems as well. Onwards and upwards 💪
Ephesians 6:12. 🙏🏽
I went no contact with my entire family last year & it was one of the best decisions I made for my mental & physical health.
Omg 6 years ago i left my ex husband and moved 1600 miles away and my terrible migraines went away and I haven't had one since 🎉❤
@kipp1231 congratulations. Yes way better now. Thanks
90% of my family. It's pretty sad, but, it is what it is.
Thank you!✌🏻
Gift
I think its unavoidable it is human nature
It’s a cowardly hateful thing to do God sees
@@privateconfidential4775 What are you even talking about?
If you see someone as a priority and they see you as an option, let them go.
My inner circle is small because of this, but stronger relationships with those that matter.
💯Thank you!✌🏻
Absolutely.
I had to walk away from a family relationship last year. Yeh it was sad but he is a narcissist I'd been trying to love for 40 years. No, he had no love for me. His toxicity and negativity were draining and I'm so much more at peace now. 😊
Let them miss you - is a gift you give yourself.
Thank you!✌🏻
Nobody respected my boundaries or growth. I used to be a little surprised (or maybe angered) that some of those people didn't congratulate or at least acknowledge my (fairly obvious) growth, but rather seemed to resent it! And now it's just me and my peace.
same here...
Finding peace within yourself is really all that matters!!✌🏻
Same here. I found out that people want you to do good, but never better than them. Even your family and best friends.
Yep .. same
@@tamzillaexactly that. Once they perceive or believe that you're "doing better" than them (even if you aren't overall, but maybe considerably in one aspect), then they start the snarky and sarcastic comments. It's very strange.
First, we push back and try to explain.
They continue. We maybe try one more time to explain.
They continue. We silently listen and accept it.
They continue. We don't respond.
They continue. Now we're gone, without a word.
I "broke up" with a fairly large group of "friends" 2 years ago. BEST DECISION I ever MADE! The negativity, the using, the lack of empathy, the unawareness of what they were doing wrong, and how hurtful and blind they were to myself and others around me. I have NEVER been happier.😊😊😊
Thank you✌🏻
I can totally relate.
I had a group of friends that I grew up with. We hung out almost every weekend for 35 years! That turned toxic, eventually...I left that group 3 years ago. We see each other on different occasions but I no longer go out of my way to spend time or energy on them.
I've never felt more liberated. Now I can truly see how much of my life was wasted on people that weren't worth it.
Lessons learned.
Gift
Me too !!! I can’t be with people that betray me
Wowwwww, that part: WE DON'T OWE NO ONE OUR CONSENT TIME, AND AVAILABILITY ❤❤❤
Same.
My southern grandmother would put it in these terms, “ when your belly gets full you’ll leave the table.”
I love that!✌🏻
Love it❤
No more people pleasing!
Let’s go!!💪🏻
I'm with you there!!!
"They better hate me for what I am than love me for what I am not."
Yes! 🙌🏻
I think you meant to say they’d “rather” hate me …
this is why I go to where I feel celebrated and welcome, not tolerated
When you respect yourself more than tolerating their crap ❣️
@@casperinsight3524 Thank you!✌🏻
@@ChadLisonbee 🕊️
Beautiful and true statement!
I finally let go of my toxic family relationships at 57 and my life has never been better - I’m polite and kind but they don’t get to use me as a sponge to absorb their inferior feelings anymore
Life changing
It can be extremely freeing. 🙏🏻
I did this at 58 as well. It was profoundly freeing. May you find wonderful friends (should you choose) and have continued peace.
This was a great reminder to have stumbled upon this morning. Thank you so much.
I did this too! Best decision ever. Too bad it was family, but it was necessary for my mental health.
100% WITH YOU ❤
What family members are you referring to?
Having healthy boundaries is the most important lesson I've ever learned.
It’s necessary. ✌🏻
@@ChadLisonbee I don’t think I know how, or they never let me. They get angry and act like I’m not doing my job - “just have her do it.”
@MissyQ12345 if you can, just don't do the thing
@@blackburned Thanks. I always seem to do it wrong, but I am trying.
I Love this. it is truly proven that we dont live life, we learn it. As a empath, this has been to date my biggest struggle. I am naturally more comfortable helping others feel safe or encouraged or validated over my own comforts and boundaries. I am now aware and working on this because it has cost me a lot up until this point in my life. It is a daily struggle learning to be selfish and learning that it is indeed not a bad thing at all to let people miss out on you. It is the only way I will ever accomplish my goals in life. I am grateful to have found this video..
Silence is Golden
Well said.
@@raydavies5249 Thank you!✌🏻
silence is not the way. It's cowardly and hurtful.
@@sunnievictoria9917 You can't heal toxic...just go your own way...Silence is Beautiful !!!
Silence is what I get. So painful when you don't even understand why.
Gift! Last year my brother died. I had taken care of him all by myself for four years. I had to do the funeral all by myself. But my other brother, he’s very toxic and narcissistic. Dictated who was allowed to come to the funeral and who wasn’t. But I chose not to follow his bullying tactics.. he screamed and yelled at me and I hung up on him, and I have not spoken to him since. My toxic brother has always been a bully, and he uses his voice to abuse. I’m choosing not to ever step back into that relationship unless he changes. My life has been much more peaceful without him. Thanks for this encouragement.
I had the same problem; my older brother that I no longer speak to him as well. My parents now deceased allowed him to bully me since I was a toddler to my adult years. I cut him off in 1998 after 33 years of bullying by him after I went counseling about him. Like I said, He was a bully towards me; a narcissistic and manipulative person; aggressive and a physical bully with his loud condescending voice to sap my energy, putting me down front of everyone, never letting me have my voice heard, etc -I won’t tolerate it from him again. I am glad I did cut him off years ago and he was so angry and hated me during my mother’s funeral years later. I know he will never change. I tried to work it out with him through my counselor’s advice at that time years ago. Now I have my peace and am happier without him; He’s dead to me. I hope your peace without him is better for you. We both don’t deserve it period! I wish you all the peace and I am sorry for your brother. May he rest in peace. ❤
What if u come from a toxic narcissistic family & how am I the only one who's not, matter a fact I'm an empath. Now that I'm an adult I stay away from most, because all I seem 2 attracted is narcissistic people especially men. Soooo,so grateful I'm not a lonely person cuz it'll b all bad. Just kinda sucks cuz I been hurt so much, I rather no new friends or meet new people if they end up as narcissist. How is it possible not to attract them?
@@tanyawellington1604 You have to do inner child work. You keep attracting these people because you’re subconscious mind attracts them into your life. When you were a child you were taking in loads of information and the adults around you is what imprinted on your subconscious. You took this into your adult life and now can only seem to attract toxic and narcissistic people. The only way to stop it is to change those imprints. It’s not easy because they were so ingrained from our formative years - but it is possible. I work with a Neuropsychologist who helps me do this and it’s been incredible how all my relationships and people in general that appear in my life have changed from being toxic to being supportive and healthy. I also feel better about myself too. It’s pretty amazing. But anyways I’ll just bet that’s what going on with your life too.
I'm so sorry for your loss ❤ hugs 🫂 to you .
@@gayledaniels4556 it sounds like you and I went through the same thing. I am happy for you that you found your peace. It’s a shame that they ruined lives and then have the audacity to blame us. But we are their loss. And I’m happier without them and it sounds like you’re too. God bless.
The prodigal father never chased the prodigal son. He waited.
This right HERE should be the TOP COMMENT!
What do you mean by this?
@@judithwalker5681 Thank you!✌🏻
@judithwalker5681. Yes. And something that I noticed recently about that passage is that the prodigal son returned because he was hungry. It never says that he returned because he loved his father and was remorseful for how he treated him. We humans are so broken. Still praying for my prodigals.
@@gracerules2423 it’s true his hunger and the realization of how trashed his life had become is what sent him back home but the scripture does say that when the som apologized to the father, he did not make any excuses for his behavior. He completely owned up to it and did not set any expectations of how the father “should” treat him in response to his repentance.
People will notice the change in your attitude towards them
But will not notice their behaviour that made you change...
A quote I have seen that is so absolutely 💯 true.
Social media sites prolong relationships which were never meant to last forever and make otherwise good friendships superficial.
I don’t disagree. Thank you!✌🏻
Very True! 🎯
Truth be told
You’re right on target. I got rid of all my accounts.
Yes!
I’m in my 60’s and I have a brother I love dearly. We live several hours away from each other, and I was always the one driving to see him. After he verbally attacked me, seemingly out of nowhere, I understood the level of resentment that had been building up in him. While he never overtly objected to or discouraged my visits, it became clear he was hosting me out of feelings of obligation, and over time, the resentment built up until he just one day exploded. I was shocked and hurt, to say the least, but it was a wake up call. I came to realize I was putting more energy into maintaining our relationship than he was. I decided I needed to “care less” and step back. When he reaches out, I engage with him, but I am no longer the one driving engagement. I think this arrangement is much healthier for both of us.
Thank you! ✌🏻
Hurrah! Enjoy the fresh air and newly relaxed muscles!
You are intelligent. 😊
@@fefetegs8994I’m so sorry that happened. I wish you peace.
I used to touch base with my brother monthly or so on the phone. Twenty years ago I decided to let him be the one who called me. He never has. So now he knows 1/100th of what he used to about my life, and we communicate largely via email.
My wife has decided to move out.
At first I was angry.
Then I was sad.
Then I decided, for myself, it was for the best.
I have a reason to quit drugs, get healthy, and focus more at work; and I need to do those things alone.
No more arguments. No more stress.
You’re worth it dude!!!
Better to live apart as friends...then live together as enemies
That example of your friend calling to apologize and admitting his wrong is literally one and 1 billion but I’m glad you had that experience. But the point still stands, great video.
I am in the process of removing people from my life who aren’t healthy for me. It is beginning to get lonely but I can fill that space with self care and things I enjoy. My whole entire life I’ve been surrounded by the wrong people. At 47 I am finally doing this.
Great! Good for you
Yas 👏🏽
I feel ya_ I'm 42, my family I haven't seen in a whole year_ they've committed a negative action towards me that made me distance myself from them__ I always feel lonely without friends, it's not like before, having all source of clusterIzed group of known individuals, before of course, versus to zilcho of companionships_ it can get extremely lonely _ since I'm unemployed it doesn't assist me in a well manner either _ but it's important to also
You need to replace then with jesus or you will just find more of the same.
Stay strong ❤
My last relationship taught me to always put myself first. Sorry, not sorry
We can’t control another persons actions!
In my marriage, I put myself last for 7 years and became fat, weak, unhealthy, broke, and depressed. Never again. It has been four years since my divorce, and self-improvement and self-care are my top 2 priorities.
I'm not even giving people a sorry loool
Kicked sorry out of my fucking vocabulary
Zero guilt for setting boundaries. I choose who stays and who goes. I’m over games. The best part is I’m totally comfortable walking my own path. Not many people are. I have peace, and that is everything.
Beautifully said! Thank you ✌🏻
well said
I agree 💯
Agreed.
The games are harmful
Absolutely. Getting rid of toxic relationships is liberating. It also shows you who actually cares for you and who doesn’t.
Since I hit my 40’s I have been shedding old friends and family. Everyone is allowed their choices and me and mine are allowed to choose to walk away from those who keep choosing chaos. Choose peace.
Thank you!✌🏻
Amen
Amen!
Must be the golden Age of Enlightenment. I’m also in my early 40s and letting go of empty relationships and time and energy wasted .
I am 56 and I have had my 2 true friends for 40 years. We went through the Marines together back in the 80's. We may not speak as much as we used to but we are always there for each other no matter what. True friends
You're right
I call them shovel ready. ✌🏻
Sounds wonderful. Enjoy it as long as you can
@@ChadLisonbee yup my friend was not shovel ready.
Semper Fi
Yes holding on to people who don't honour us destroys us.
Thank you ✌🏻
🌟🌟🌟🌟
,, Just because you're thirsty, doesn't mean that you have to drink poison ''
That makes a lot of sense 😢
This took me years to understand. I made every excuse to stay until I couldn't find one. I thought it was better to be alone than with them.
Good advice. More people need to become unafraid to detach from toxic relationships.
Thank you for watching ✌🏻
So true
I understood this when I realized that all my "friends" often needed my help but were never available when I needed help. Went my own way and started doing things for me only. Best decision ever!
Yup. Thank you ✌🏻
Walking away = peace and self respect.
Thank you ✌🏻
Lord Jesus help us all to be more like you. Your grace is a gift.
Love and peace.
Amen 🙏🏼
Jesus is the reason I choose to keep going in Life! Jesus Christ has opened so many doors for me because I worship Him! By choosing to follow Christ, I have learned the true value of Life itself and what God wants for us. Jesus is always there, helping us achieve the best. So many turn away from God and are left in darkness. Jesus brings us to Light! May our Lord bless and protect you for eternity! AMEN!
We walk away because we're done. And that is the explanation. oxoxooxo
Yes!🙌🏻
I’m done. Taking steps.
Free yourself from the opinions and expectations of others 🥇
Thank you!✌🏻
This is easier said than done!
I really needed this video today. I may have to walk away from 5years of what I thought was meaningful. Thanks for the gift
“When you let those people miss out on you you're standing up for yourself to not allow others bring me down”
Exactly! Thank you for watching ✌🏻
It hurts when you realize that they didn't fully see you as the human that you are. Ever. And that you were just degrading yourself for crumbs of attention or their time. Thanks, Chad. I will find strength in my solitude.
Crumbs 😮
Thank you! ✌🏻
I have left so many people behind because they just take my time and it’s not what I want anymore.
“Gift”
It sounds like my experience I have always been co-dependent. No longer and it only took me until the end of my life to realize that. Thanks
I got so much power after I isolate myself its getting better and better.
Thank you!✌🏻
Good for you mate.
Thank you for your message.
I left my home town , family and friends 5 yrs ago.
I moved 3000 miles away.
I'm 62 living on my own with my 2 dogs and 2 cats. I am free to be me! ❤❤
What made you move so far away?
@@JanHickling-v6x same here
@@JanHickling-v6x Thank you!✌🏻
may I join?
I left 2016 ...my life is peaceful, financially stable...drama free 😂😂
I learned a very long time ago how to cut people out of my life when it became obvious I was being drained of my energy, or when they showed they did not live up to my standards of who I associate with. Some types of people do not deserve your time and energy. Not sorry.
I have become so free since I've purposefully changed my attitude about living life without harboring the drama of others, and I like it! Boundary setting is the key! 😊👍🏾
Losing my toxic, abusive, culty parents was the single best thing I ever did for myself.
Thank you ✌🏻
What cult thay jurnt? Them Jehova Winisses? My suster an her huzbun jurnt um to but I tolt her I aint havin no Satan up in my hause.
@@KD-nk3ht typing in down syndrome 😂
Wow. This one really hit home. I’m a bit of a rolling stone which gathers no moss when it comes to friends and people. The best human experiences are often with those you may never meet again, for you don’t judge them from their history but see them as they are in that moment. If they stick to you, great, if they don’t you have served each other and rolled away. Gift.
Beautifully said brother!!
Very well said!
Beautifully said!
You meet them where they’re at. It makes all the difference. ✌️
This is why I love being a nurse. It’s an opportunity to meet people and help them right where they are. So satisfying for us all.
Going on Year 3 of almost entirely by myself. Weekend Mass or occasional resturant. But stopped Drinking an no one respects that. No one respects your beliefs.. Ones that did died... You make a few more friends but more just hellos. As you get older no college, work, retired the people you meet are very little.. So um ya... respect yourself an although Im a bit lonely now an then, I can say I am extremly happy, fullfilled, an learned a ton about myself.. Its actually very comforting, but most of all Peaceful! so Peaceful.. No booze now 677 days, an many other changes they dont understand.. Yoga, Mass, Meditation... understand im a total blue collar, oil field, Cowboy, outdoorsy wild ass ( well former) Non of my friends see it or respect it.. 1 has said .. Good Job. thats it.. Embrace alone!
Take time and get to know the Lord as well. He wants you to know Him.
Congratulations. You're doing what's best for you, despite the influence of others. Carry on.
@@JustBelieveInChrist He is the Top of my list. Thank you.
Booze is for mainstream normies. I quit a year ago
❤❤❤
Same exact story happen to me. You will probably never see him on my channel :/
Perfection 💖💖💖! I've had to let my entire family and friend circles go. I've also checked out of my marriage but my husband hasn't even noticed 😅! I live a quiet life with my dogs, horses and wildlife including crows and ravens. I have hobbies and meet all kinds of similar-minded 2:47 people through book clubs, music lessons, etc. I'm so much happier than I've ever been at age fifty-seven 💖💖
You got this!
Me too!
You sound like me, I live with all my beautiful dogs and horses and I see people when I go grocery shopping! 😅
Same here. I'm happier than I've ever been.
We know who’s toxic give them nothing
Boundaries are so important. It lets others know that you should be treated as a gift not the wrapping. Thanks for this reminder brother
You are so welcome
Great analogy!
Truths ❤
I LOVE MY BOUNDARIES! TOOK AWHILE, BUT MAKING SURE IF SOMEONE WANTS TO BE IN MY LIFE RESPECTING MY BOUNDARIES ARE ESSENTIAL ❤
I had a falling out with a very close friend of 8 years over a simple misunderstanding. It wreaked havoc on me that something so stupid ruined a friendship I thought to be bulletproof. And then I heard the quote "stop losing your mind over people that don't mind losing you." They are now, unfortunately, part of my past. Thanks for the vid
Thank you ✌🏻
Same here. She initiated the falling out over a silly error I made, forgetting I was by her side in the hospital, helped her grandkids, etc .... I was devastated. I sent an "I am sorry" and think I am going to move on. . Love that quote, thanks.
Most people don't care about most people.
I can say the same about most family members, too.
I am a 45 year old divorced man with a son & daughter.
99% of my free time(outside of work) is dedicated to us & I wouldn't have it any other way.
I actually did a video on that. I totally agree. 👍🏻
Until they grow up get married and move away. Hopefully that won’t be the case with you.
@@bornwin-sx9oz yep. Speak from experience 💯!!
GIFT!
Yes, I left my narcissistically-abusive family, set boundaries for neighbors, told a narcissistic friend to “bounce”. I am alone. But I have me. I know there will be some regrets. But, being abused won’t be one and reactive abuse won’t be one either.
Thank you ✌🏻
Reactive abuse. Yeah. It sets me off on a tirade when she pushes my buttons. I feel bad after, but it's self-defense.
@ well, keep in mind, we’re responsible for our own actions, legally, no matter what buttons someone else presses. It important to stand back and look at the dynamic, in slo mo. Also important to understand whether you’re dealing with a narcissist, who very readily, doesn’t seem to care if they get positive or negative supply, with negative supply meaning that they may not care if you beat the living crap out of them.
That was what I felt like I was dealing with, in my mother. That she didn’t quite care, if I shoved her down a flight of stairs, as long as my life was ruined, in the process.
This is just one of the many reasons why I left. I didn’t want to become frustrated, triggered, manipulated and end up paying for what she might’ve actually deserved, on some level. I gave her no more to work with. As she did not want any professional help and as my sister was blocking it anyway, there was nothing left to do, but exit. Perfect, as no one, not even the authorities, could ask me anything.
I learned last year how important it is to set boundaries. I think it’s tied up in your willingness to say no and letting go of being a people pleaser and being ok with someone being mad at you or not liking you because of it
I walked away from a lot of friends and family after a bad case of encephalitis. It did teach me that people who matter will fight to keep you in their life.
Thank you! ✌🏻
In 2019 I realized i was codependent. I started working on myself because it was literally chipping away at me day by day. I went to CoDA. I created boundaries. I started sticking up for myself and not giving two effs about anyone elses feelings concerning my life. Once I created boundaries, i lost EVERYONE in my life. That is how toxic things were for me. I was the scapegoat of my immediate family up into late 40's. I am now extremely authentic. If you dont like it, move along because I LOVE MY PEACE!! ❤ The painful part now is healing and forgiving.
Keep it up! Thank you for watching🙏🏻
Dang that’s tough living for so many years. I like to hear that you made that kind of change. Congratulations!
💛💛💛
This made me cry. So spot on. Over the past ten years or so I've had to separate myself from many people. Our values didn't align. Some were family. I wish they would wake up and come back like your friend did, but I will NEVER sacrifice our freedom, democracy, humanity, or anything else just to hang on to a person. This applies to way more than politics.
@@dianetyra1792 it absolutely does!! Thank you!✌🏻
Some people will never understand you. And use that as excuse to mistreat you. we focus on values, but rarely focus on the person sitting in front. That's the issue with humans. by the time they care. It's too late.
Truly a GIFT! Thank you
“If you love someone, set them free. If they return, they were always yours. If they don't, they never were”
- Richard Bach
I love that! Thank you!✌🏻
Toxic people will keep coming back
I remember this quote from a movie. Not sure, but think it may have been the Robert Redford/Demi Moore one "Indecent Proposal". That quote made an impression on me and I have always remembered it.
Excellent expression, but it's not foolproof or absolute!
@jenbodhi1133 exactly, never accept a #hoover or you re-enter the npd cycle of abuse.
#nocontact for life.❤🎉😊
After 20 or so years of trying to connect with my Dad I finally give up… he constantly ignored me or told me what I was doing wrong. It’s time to focus on my own family now. I’m a 49 year old man I don’t need to be told what to do like a child. I let go of this dis functional relationship that has bought me nothing but pain. All the best Dad no hard feelings. I treat this like a gift from God that makes me a better father 🙏
Discernment is a Virtue
Thank you ✌🏻
Very few people have this ability to discern.😢
I Am A Gift! I Am grateful God is opening, expanding my awareness, my Heart He placed wirhin me... to love more. Thankyou Chad for helping this unfolding along. Learning this LOVE starts within me, so to be able to share it outwards. 😌💜🤲🙏
Thank you 🙏 I needed to hear this. My girls abandoned me 9 years ago after I put them through University education! I’ve tried and tried but no response from them none nothing. Extremely painful frustrating and I’m now learning to accept this and learning how to live without them in my life! I will always love them but I’m moving on. Thank you 🙏
I can only imagine got right that is. You got this!
It hurts. My daughter never calls or texts me, im the one who initiates it. I try calling every now and then. Sometimes ill send a text. She sometimes answers her phone or texts back. I dont get upset about it anymore. I give up. She hasvpretty much cut me out of her life. So i just find ways to enjoy me life. Im so use to being alone, i dont get lonely.
Blame the University.
I learned that standing in my own circle gave me more than trying to squeeze into other circles I was not meant to fit in the first place.
Thank you ✌🏻
Well said. Setting one boundaries is necessary as most people want to bring their negative garbage to someone's life.
Thank you for watching ✌🏻
I had to move 7 hours away from where I was born so that I could grow. It is a good thing :D I learned who my "real" people are, some truly surprised me. It's a good thing
I am a 72 year old woman, married and childless by choice. I do rescue dogs and that is where my joy is. With the exception of my husband and dogs I am alone. I am the only living member of my birth family on both my mother's and father's side. When mom died in 2018 I chose this. You could say I have my husband's family but the good died and the bad still remained. I have been villified in his family because of this. With more days behind me than in front of me I chose peace instead of toxicity. My husband remains connected they are his family afterall. The first few major holidays were hard. I no longer celebrate xmas, Thanksgiving or any other holiday. Just an average day on the calendar. Thru my algorithms I came across your channel and am so grateful I did. I have listened to all of them but THIS ONE felt like you were reading my mind. Thank You for making it make sense for me.❤
You're not alone sugar! The good ones always go it's true. My dad just passed and I also have no family. From one soul to another, stay awesome sugar! Your life is exactly that! ❤
You are going to have many regrets on your deathbed 💯💯
@@jazzyjeff019 nope. I wouldn't want to cause that pain for someone else.
@@NadinePanici-zh4tp Thank you!✌🏻
I'm 43 and I'm also childfree. People always say well who is gonna take care of you when you're old? Someone else's kid that went to school for it, I guess! Having children is not a retirement plan. My dad died last year and where is my stepmom? With me. She has a whole biological daughter, but she's with me.