She wanted his parents in the wedding so that the impact of her poison that day would be bigger for him to handle. She just wanted to embarass him more.
Exactly! But I believe this is learned behavior. Watch the the way her mom or guardian talks to her. She literally looks like she sucks the life out of people but Zanab learned it from somewhere
💯. This is the problem isn't it.. when someone with serious issues goes to therapy (which is a rare occurrence in itself) and the therapist doesn't pick up on the narcissism as they are only listening to the clients narrative... I think there needs to be a deeper understanding of what to look out for by therapists, or let's face it, what's the point in therapy in the first place if the therapist can't be objective and not baised to the client... and not be prepared to correct or call out their unhealthy behaviours... pointless...
Actually, he looks less worn down than you'd think. He seems to take a lot of her criticisms as banter or tries to deflect it into banter. I think he could only keep that up for so long, though.
Jack, I noticed that too and thought it was actually really shitty for him because he keeps trying to be positive to a degree and it’s like she can’t stand it lol.
You’re definitely right. Honestly based on her traumatic life experiences, it’s obvious she has some serious issues. She focuses too often on the negative and in every scene it looks like she’s so fed up with him, she NEVER has fun with him and is always at the brink of popping off. I have never seen a worse pair of people coupled together. Bizarre how they never broke it off until wedding. This lady needed the most help out of all these people.
@@jclyntoledo honestly if this is true I find it kind of disgusting that they can’t just break it off whenever they want. LIB Japan seemed to have a much healthier approach where it seemed like the minute you know for sure that it’s not going to work then you can just call it off. I found it a very healthy and refreshing change to see a version of this show where the only people who made it to the alter were the ones who were for sure a Yes. Even one couple who made it to the wedding day called it off before they made it to the alter. No one was forced to go all the way and I thought that was a lot healthier to watch.
Covert narcissists can absolutely fake empathy and being supportive! And then months or years down the road something will happen and they'll let it slip that they resented all along having to show you support. Then you know it was all fake. Crushing!! The deception!
Cole tries to play and she is stiff as a log. Not playful just controlling, mother, teacher, judgy like... I cringe... She is absolutely not fun. Cole! You are so lucky she walked out.
She's just like my mother. I used to be so on edge all the time, even when she wasn't around, because she had conditioned me from birth. It took totally cutting her out, and five years of intense healing, and now I'm free of her. I am SO pleased that Cole didn't marry her.
If she is the "catch of the century" why is she so damn insecure. She needs someone like Cole that she can control, beat up on and treat like a child bc the Labrador in him will keep him coming back happy and hopeful. Did anyone notice how Cole got more haggard and worn looking through the course of the show and Zenab got prettier? It's like she was literally sucking the life force out of him for her own vitality.
Yes!! As I was watching it for the first time, I kept double-taking because in every single scene it looked as if Cole had aged another five years. Narcissists really do drain their victims until there is nothing left.
I'm glad I'm in therapy, cause those vids are a punch in the stomach. I see my mom, I see ME. It's calling out behaviors I've always had as normal. And last ones taught me how what I understand as insecurity isn't really that? Gods 90% of the time I feel like I hate myself. I'm a failure and I can't do things because I'm weak. And actually all that are excuses my head is feeding me to continue with harmful behavior, draining from people around me? That's wild. I'm hating it and loving it at the same time. Thank you for the lessons here.
She's known him for a few weeks so she's not in a position to tell him what to do.... yesterday a man that I had a 3 minute interaction with prior was basically trying to order me around. I looked at him like 'who the hell are you to start barking orders at me'' and walked off. Doesn't take weeks, sometimes it's minutes.
She is absolutely awful here! Not dismissing her behavior but had a question. Do certain people bring out worse or more severe behaviors in narcissists? I wonder if Cole's lack of life experience failed him in seeing the red flags which allowed her manipulation to snow ball. If Zenab was with a more mature, self aware and more worldly man would she as a narcissistic still attempt to get control and pull the same shit or would someone more powerful stunt her anticts? Or would a man like that not even get this far with her?
Interesting question. When you challenge a narcissist's control, you are at risk of prompting malign behaviors from them. So yes, certain people will bring out more severe behaviors in a narcissist. However, if you're in a relationship with a narcissist, you will eventually prompt malign behaviors simply by existing, when they start devaluing you. Generally, when a narcissist gets a new partner, they will have a "Golden Period" where everything is wonderful and their partner is "idealized" for a long stretch of time, often almost without interruption. Zanab and Cole's Golden Period (which they had in the Pods) was essentially cut short because Cole was too difficult for Zanab to control. He put up too much resistance. Therefore, she used more malign behaviors to control him. I doubt that Zanab would stick with somebody who was causing her serious control issues for long, unless there were excellent benefits to being with them (for example: fame, fuel from others, good looks, money, status, etc.).
I'm not an expert, but narcissists do tend to target certain kinds of people. People who are highly sensitive/empathic, or passive/people pleasing types. I don't know all the criteria, but they seem attracted to people they think will be easier to manipulate.
They may move on to another person, or they may cool down a bit. I know one narcissist who is now happily married to a woman who wont let him put her down, and he treats her very good - but have discarded his children instead. So I believe there is absolutely possible to be with a narcissist without being mistreated, if they have someone else they can scapegoat.
11:12 aww it made me so sad that she totally 💩‘d on his excitement about flipping all three chicken bits in one motion 😔 Not being sarcastic - it was a pretty cool move, and he was clearly excited about it and proud of it. He seems very fun loving. I hope he finds somebody who loves that he gets excited about little things.
When he shot her with the nurf gun and she snapped at him then he handed her the nerf gun (so she could play too), she said thank you like a parent, like he was handing it over because it got taken away. Idk if anyone else caught that.
My aunt didn’t go to her own son’s wedding bc his fiancé was abusive. She knew this from her grandson, who also refused to go to the wedding. Basically, my cousin chose his trailer trash, abusive girlfriend over his own son, so my aunt wanted to stay home to support him. Plus, she knew the marriage would be a mistake. My cousin is now divorced. My aunt’s grandson now lives with her, and the relationship with his dad is non-existent. (He was a teenager through all of this). Zanab made Cole’s parents not attending about her, suggested maybe racism was involved, and didn’t even show she understood and emphasized how hard it must have been on Cole. Cole’s reasoning for them not attending makes sense to me.
That's such a great point. Not turning up to a wedding can be an act of desperation to get your loved one to wake up and see sense. I'm going to come back to Cole's parents in Part 6.
Two wrongs don't make a right but there is more footage of her being critical then of him being critical...the wine glass is so annoying it's like she trying to train him
I didn’t realize it when I was watching the season, but in hindsight I get a headache listening to this psycho for more than 10 seconds. Idk how Cole put up with her for weeks, I would have jumped off the balcony.
same! my siblings and i constantly walked on eggshells because we never knew how she would be. we’d spend every day after school in our rooms to avoid her.
Has anyone else noticed how much Zanab, Micah, and Irina (all narcissists) say the word "Like" so much?? I wonder if there's a correlation. As in, narcissists have no real depth. Hence the reason why they feel the need to fill the space with meaningless words.
🙌 The cooking part! She was super ungrateful! Like girrrlll, Cole is trying to cook for YOU! And here you are dominating him and being condescending like ughhh she was killing Cole’s fun all the time!
This is so upsetting. Because I seen it right from the start with her. The way she treats him like a child. And then people stick up for her and justify her treatment because he’s immature. Yes, that’s true but a mentally stable person would quickly let that person know how they feel. She decided he was a bad guy early on and she was planning that wedding day from that moment. She was spending every day with Cole gathering fuel to light the fire that was her little speech on that day to hurt him. Humiliation is the ultimate feel good drug for narcissistic people. What is so painful is that the show just let this slide without coming on and discussing how awful it was - if roles were reversed and a man was treating a woman this way it would be HUGE - but it’s totally fine for women to do this to men??! I don’t even want to watch this show anymore because of her. She is insane. As someone with ptsd and anxiety, BECAUSE OF what narcissistic people have put me through, this is extremely triggering and awful. The show should be ashamed for not coming on and talking about this
@@thenarcissistwatcher Check out the most recent season - Season 10. Strike while the iron is hot and all. There are a number of characters worth analysing. Mitch, Tyrique, Ella for example.
Thanks for the suggestions. I would love to do a series on Big Ed and how he abuses his partners. I haven't seen the series with Bilal yet, but it sounds like one I need to watch!
When Cole is being henpecked by Z...man, I know EXACTLY how he feels. When she gets pissed at him shooting a Nerf gun at her while cooking, I also get EXACTLY how she feels. I don't know what that says about me. I also don't know if she's truly a narcissist or not, I think the term is honestly thrown around way too much these days. I'm on team "These are two people who probably are decent individuals, but never should have gotten together and never would have if it weren't that they were so desperate to get into LTR's that they went on a gimmicky reality TV show for the sole purpose of doing so." I bet if they had just went on an episode of Blind Date, it would have been 15 minutes of amazing entertainment for the world. Followed by them never speaking again.
Are you.. like the same guy that has the rationality rules channel? your voices sound so similar. Also, Zenab is so triggering. I'm really wishing she would own up to some of her behavior but I've had enough experience with narcissists to know it will never happen. It would make me feel better at least if the other contestants finally saw through her manipulative lies..
She wanted his parents in the wedding so that the impact of her poison that day would be bigger for him to handle. She just wanted to embarass him more.
Exactly! But I believe this is learned behavior. Watch the the way her mom or guardian talks to her. She literally looks like she sucks the life out of people but Zanab learned it from somewhere
Part of me wishes she would watch these. Her therapist isn’t calling her out and I think she needs that if she wants to have real love in the future.
💯. This is the problem isn't it.. when someone with serious issues goes to therapy (which is a rare occurrence in itself) and the therapist doesn't pick up on the narcissism as they are only listening to the clients narrative...
I think there needs to be a deeper understanding of what to look out for by therapists, or let's face it, what's the point in therapy in the first place if the therapist can't be objective and not baised to the client... and not be prepared to correct or call out their unhealthy behaviours... pointless...
She was dating her therapist, according to the post-show meetup.
It’s wild to me the chance in his demeanour, you can tell that he’s been emotionally worn down.
Actually, he looks less worn down than you'd think. He seems to take a lot of her criticisms as banter or tries to deflect it into banter. I think he could only keep that up for so long, though.
Jack, I noticed that too and thought it was actually really shitty for him because he keeps trying to be positive to a degree and it’s like she can’t stand it lol.
You’re definitely right. Honestly based on her traumatic life experiences, it’s obvious she has some serious issues. She focuses too often on the negative and in every scene it looks like she’s so fed up with him, she NEVER has fun with him and is always at the brink of popping off. I have never seen a worse pair of people coupled together. Bizarre how they never broke it off until wedding. This lady needed the most help out of all these people.
From what I've heard in the interviews they only have 2 times to break it off, one during the honeymoon island week or at the altar.
Lol she had those “ready to pop off” eyes
@@jclyntoledo honestly if this is true I find it kind of disgusting that they can’t just break it off whenever they want. LIB Japan seemed to have a much healthier approach where it seemed like the minute you know for sure that it’s not going to work then you can just call it off. I found it a very healthy and refreshing change to see a version of this show where the only people who made it to the alter were the ones who were for sure a Yes. Even one couple who made it to the wedding day called it off before they made it to the alter. No one was forced to go all the way and I thought that was a lot healthier to watch.
Therapy will not work with a person like this. This is the kind of person who will claim it's the therapist who needs therapy and not her.
😂 why I can imagine that happening so clearly?
Congratulations you described my mother. One therapy session and she's "cured".🙄
Covert narcissists can absolutely fake empathy and being supportive! And then months or years down the road something will happen and they'll let it slip that they resented all along having to show you support. Then you know it was all fake. Crushing!! The deception!
Yes. Once you've seen it with your own eyes, you know it's true.
Cole tries to play and she is stiff as a log. Not playful just controlling, mother, teacher, judgy like... I cringe... She is absolutely not fun. Cole! You are so lucky she walked out.
She's just like my mother. I used to be so on edge all the time, even when she wasn't around, because she had conditioned me from birth. It took totally cutting her out, and five years of intense healing, and now I'm free of her.
I am SO pleased that Cole didn't marry her.
I'm glad you made it out from that.
My 10 year old daughter happened to watch a small part with this woman and her reaction” what is wrong with her man” Cole was super patient!!
If she is the "catch of the century" why is she so damn insecure. She needs someone like Cole that she can control, beat up on and treat like a child bc the Labrador in him will keep him coming back happy and hopeful.
Did anyone notice how Cole got more haggard and worn looking through the course of the show and Zenab got prettier? It's like she was literally sucking the life force out of him for her own vitality.
Yes!! As I was watching it for the first time, I kept double-taking because in every single scene it looked as if Cole had aged another five years. Narcissists really do drain their victims until there is nothing left.
I'm glad I'm in therapy, cause those vids are a punch in the stomach.
I see my mom, I see ME. It's calling out behaviors I've always had as normal. And last ones taught me how what I understand as insecurity isn't really that?
Gods 90% of the time I feel like I hate myself. I'm a failure and I can't do things because I'm weak. And actually all that are excuses my head is feeding me to continue with harmful behavior, draining from people around me? That's wild. I'm hating it and loving it at the same time.
Thank you for the lessons here.
Thanks for the insight on how you experience it all - very interesting. All the best for your therapy.
This woman is exhausting to watch and listen to, dont know why that guy dint see how boring and negative she was from e start
She's known him for a few weeks so she's not in a position to tell him what to do.... yesterday a man that I had a 3 minute interaction with prior was basically trying to order me around. I looked at him like 'who the hell are you to start barking orders at me'' and walked off. Doesn't take weeks, sometimes it's minutes.
She is absolutely awful here! Not dismissing her behavior but had a question. Do certain people bring out worse or more severe behaviors in narcissists? I wonder if Cole's lack of life experience failed him in seeing the red flags which allowed her manipulation to snow ball. If Zenab was with a more mature, self aware and more worldly man would she as a narcissistic still attempt to get control and pull the same shit or would someone more powerful stunt her anticts? Or would a man like that not even get this far with her?
Interesting question.
When you challenge a narcissist's control, you are at risk of prompting malign behaviors from them. So yes, certain people will bring out more severe behaviors in a narcissist. However, if you're in a relationship with a narcissist, you will eventually prompt malign behaviors simply by existing, when they start devaluing you.
Generally, when a narcissist gets a new partner, they will have a "Golden Period" where everything is wonderful and their partner is "idealized" for a long stretch of time, often almost without interruption. Zanab and Cole's Golden Period (which they had in the Pods) was essentially cut short because Cole was too difficult for Zanab to control. He put up too much resistance. Therefore, she used more malign behaviors to control him.
I doubt that Zanab would stick with somebody who was causing her serious control issues for long, unless there were excellent benefits to being with them (for example: fame, fuel from others, good looks, money, status, etc.).
I'm not an expert, but narcissists do tend to target certain kinds of people. People who are highly sensitive/empathic, or passive/people pleasing types. I don't know all the criteria, but they seem attracted to people they think will be easier to manipulate.
They may move on to another person, or they may cool down a bit. I know one narcissist who is now happily married to a woman who wont let him put her down, and he treats her very good - but have discarded his children instead. So I believe there is absolutely possible to be with a narcissist without being mistreated, if they have someone else they can scapegoat.
11:12 aww it made me so sad that she totally 💩‘d on his excitement about flipping all three chicken bits in one motion 😔 Not being sarcastic - it was a pretty cool move, and he was clearly excited about it and proud of it. He seems very fun loving. I hope he finds somebody who loves that he gets excited about little things.
Sure hope Cole gots to watch this assessment
I can't stand her but I can't stop watching these videos 😅😅
Great analysis! There’s a reason why she’s 32 and still single lol
When he shot her with the nurf gun and she snapped at him then he handed her the nerf gun (so she could play too), she said thank you like a parent, like he was handing it over because it got taken away. Idk if anyone else caught that.
"your the only guy for me Cole so... " yah that sounds like a great love
My aunt didn’t go to her own son’s wedding bc his fiancé was abusive. She knew this from her grandson, who also refused to go to the wedding. Basically, my cousin chose his trailer trash, abusive girlfriend over his own son, so my aunt wanted to stay home to support him. Plus, she knew the marriage would be a mistake. My cousin is now divorced. My aunt’s grandson now lives with her, and the relationship with his dad is non-existent. (He was a teenager through all of this).
Zanab made Cole’s parents not attending about her, suggested maybe racism was involved, and didn’t even show she understood and emphasized how hard it must have been on Cole. Cole’s reasoning for them not attending makes sense to me.
That's such a great point. Not turning up to a wedding can be an act of desperation to get your loved one to wake up and see sense.
I'm going to come back to Cole's parents in Part 6.
Two wrongs don't make a right but there is more footage of her being critical then of him being critical...the wine glass is so annoying it's like she trying to train him
I didn’t realize it when I was watching the season, but in hindsight I get a headache listening to this psycho for more than 10 seconds. Idk how Cole put up with her for weeks, I would have jumped off the balcony.
This my mum through and through, constantly looking over my shoulder trying to control everything
same! my siblings and i constantly walked on eggshells because we never knew how she would be. we’d spend every day after school in our rooms to avoid her.
She thinks super high of herself !! Which is quite annoying.
Great channel man, subscribed!❤️👍🏻
Has anyone else noticed how much Zanab, Micah, and Irina (all narcissists) say the word "Like" so much?? I wonder if there's a correlation. As in, narcissists have no real depth. Hence the reason why they feel the need to fill the space with meaningless words.
excellente mr Watcher, keep on em
🙌 The cooking part! She was super ungrateful! Like girrrlll, Cole is trying to cook for YOU! And here you are dominating him and being condescending like ughhh she was killing Cole’s fun all the time!
Yo. . . Do I have narcissistic tendencies lmfao.
Wow; her reaction toward him in response to his parents bailing on the wedding is fucking disgusting.
This is so upsetting. Because I seen it right from the start with her. The way she treats him like a child. And then people stick up for her and justify her treatment because he’s immature. Yes, that’s true but a mentally stable person would quickly let that person know how they feel. She decided he was a bad guy early on and she was planning that wedding day from that moment. She was spending every day with Cole gathering fuel to light the fire that was her little speech on that day to hurt him. Humiliation is the ultimate feel good drug for narcissistic people. What is so painful is that the show just let this slide without coming on and discussing how awful it was - if roles were reversed and a man was treating a woman this way it would be HUGE - but it’s totally fine for women to do this to men??! I don’t even want to watch this show anymore because of her. She is insane. As someone with ptsd and anxiety, BECAUSE OF what narcissistic people have put me through, this is extremely triggering and awful. The show should be ashamed for not coming on and talking about this
Zenab stressed me out during this cooking scene. Her attitude was coming across so off
why did she even ask him all of that stuff
i love your videos. Would you ever consider doing love island uk? Would be so interesting and you'd get some traction I think.
I've only seen one season of it, but I would definitely do a video if a good opportunity arises!
@@thenarcissistwatcher Check out the most recent season - Season 10. Strike while the iron is hot and all. There are a number of characters worth analysing. Mitch, Tyrique, Ella for example.
I wonder if you’d consider looking at 90 day fiancé - specifically Big Ed and Bilal.
Thanks for the suggestions. I would love to do a series on Big Ed and how he abuses his partners. I haven't seen the series with Bilal yet, but it sounds like one I need to watch!
She was cold 2 him, refused 2 kiss him sometimes. Watch her body language
It would be cool if Cole went on a Show with Chloey from Perfect match/2hot2handle. They could have a lot of fun joking around and being goofy
Yes, she seemed nice!
When Cole is being henpecked by Z...man, I know EXACTLY how he feels.
When she gets pissed at him shooting a Nerf gun at her while cooking, I also get EXACTLY how she feels.
I don't know what that says about me. I also don't know if she's truly a narcissist or not, I think the term is honestly thrown around way too much these days.
I'm on team "These are two people who probably are decent individuals, but never should have gotten together and never would have if it weren't that they were so desperate to get into LTR's that they went on a gimmicky reality TV show for the sole purpose of doing so."
I bet if they had just went on an episode of Blind Date, it would have been 15 minutes of amazing entertainment for the world. Followed by them never speaking again.
Are you.. like the same guy that has the rationality rules channel? your voices sound so similar.
Also, Zenab is so triggering. I'm really wishing she would own up to some of her behavior but I've had enough experience with narcissists to know it will never happen. It would make me feel better at least if the other contestants finally saw through her manipulative lies..