Therapist Breaks Down Johnie & Chris from Love is Blind 5 | The Problem with Conflict Avoidance
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 5 ส.ค. 2024
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Overall, this season of Love is Blind was a disappointment for me. However, there were some big revelations in the reunion, especially for Johnie & Chris. These two were trapped in the whirlwind of Stacy and Izzy, so of course we can't talk about one pair without the other. I share my thoughts on why Chris ghosted Johnie as well as why Johnie went back to Chris after Izzy ended things with her in the pods.
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Uche & Aaliyah:
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Lydia:
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Milton:
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Stacy & Izzy:
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00:00 - Intro
02:00 - Chris
11:34 - Johnie
15:45 - The Love Triangle
20:38 - Stacy & Johnie
24:14 - The Reunion
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#therapistreacts #loveisblind
Johnie said "the past couple of relationships" were the safe people like Chris (didn't love them) whereas Izzy was the pattern of emotionally unavailable men she fell in love with (addict ex). To me it made sense 😅
Exactly I understood what she meant because this is a pattern that some women fall into. Falling in love with the wrong man but then trying to settle for a good man who will treat you well but your heart might not be in it as much ❤
@@NurseHarley299 Yes! My sister does this and it's painful to watch but it doesn't make someone a liar or shady. I think it has to do with childhood trauma/insecure attachment.
Yes!
She's in an endless cycle, I hope she breaks one day.
Me too! And honestly, the more I watch Izzy, I think he was scared away when she talked about dating addicts for a more “on the nose” reason… if you know what I mean…
chris turning out to be a jerk was not on my bingo card for this reunion
Sounds like she repeated the exact same pattern on the show that she's been doing in real life. Going for someone emotionally unavailable like Izzy then trying to bounce back to someone who likes her but isn't someone she's attracted to and round and round again.
She would rather be in any relationship than to just be alone.
Idk I think she was actually attracted to Chris but for her safe feels boring due to trauma.
The beauty of the universe is the life lessons we don't learn will continue until we are ready to learn them.
@@adrenna1973
That’s not at all true.
Am I the only one who understands Johnie? fearful avoidant attachment styles have extremely low self worth and choose either emotionally unavailable people or “safe” people meaning people who they don’t actually like romantically but see them as spike one who will not hurt them, which takes the vulnerability out of the equation. Vulnerability equals risk to get hurt. I don’t know much about her childhood, but by her behavior, her flip flopping, her being more warm with the emotionally unavailable one, and more closed off w Chris, she definitely gives vibes of fearful avoidant attachment style.
When you are informed about attachment styles, people’s behaviors stop seeming so surprising and actually make sense. That doesn’t mean she didn’t confuse a bunch of people in the pods. And I can see how many people still see her confusing and “a walking red flag”. In the end, she is misunderstood and has attachment trauma that I hope she works through with a trauma informed therapist.
But that is exactly what Steph breaks down in the video, minus the detail. She doesn't talk much about Johnie's childhood and trauma and what could've caused this attachment style, since her and Chris were such a small part of the season, and Johnie didn't share about it (or at least not on camera/the edited version we got), but she explains where Johnie is coming from and why she acts how she does. Which is exactly like you say. So I think quite a lot of people relate to and understand where Johnie's coming from. And most of the internet holds sympathy for her, unlike Stacy. So I would say you're not in the minority at all!
I think what Steph is commenting on more, when she says she's confused or "doesn't know what to make of Johnie", is that she doesn't understand much of the context of Johnie's actions since we weren't privy to them, bc of the limited content we got of their lives and their past. So she can't piece it together since we're missing most of the building blocks, basically. (We don't get to meet Johnie or Chris' families, we don't meet their friends or exes or learn much about them and what they do for work, or how much money they make, etc.)
All that info, esp related to wealth, childhood, and environment (who u surround yourself w, even how you organise your home) really helps inform a therapist when it comes to what they make of your behavior and actions. Because it contextualizes it. And here, we don't get all those crucial details like we do with Izzy, Stacy, and the other contestants (barring Aliyah and Uche.) So the last thing Steph wants to do w Johnie is speculate and make a judgment call without any context, hence why she keeps saying she's confused by Johnie's character.
The only part I think Steph slightly misread was Johnie's "dishonesty." Yes, it was deceitful to both men, and yes, it was technically a lie, and a coping mechanism response. 100 %. BUT I do think it was completely unintentional on her part, and she was actually trying to refer to -- as some comments have pointed out -- two different types of people she's dated, and two different patterns she's repeated in the past. Neither of which is correct, btw. Like girl, you shouldn't go for an Izzy or a Chris. Lol.
But for the most part, Steph nails it on the head: Johnie has major self-esteem issues and her ways of tackling those through men is unhealthy and toxic. When Steph says "comes across as a walking red flag" she means in her relationships, and not as a person. That's clear in how she briefly broke down the 3-way argument at the "party." I think contributing factors to Johnie being a "orange flag" in her relationships is her lack of self-awareness: she doesn't realise the extent to which she's harming people and using them to self-soothe when she does, and tries to absolve it by joking that she's a red flag.
Worst of all, I don't think she herself even understands what types of guys she's gone for in the past, because she doesn't actually know what she wants in a partner, bc she hasn't ever been in a healthy relationship. So she doesn't know what to look for. She has either desperately sought attention from men who don't give it to her, or gone for those that make her look and feel good. In both cases, she ultimately gets hurt, which sucks. But again, that goes to show she wasn't maliciously being dishonest w Izzy and Chris. She thought she was telling the truth, bc she doesn't even fully understand her own choices or why she acts the way she does. In that moment, by trying to win Chris back, it was so clear to me she didn't realize how disingenuous and hurtful and selfish that was to do, or that in doing so, she was yet again repeating another pattern of hers like she did with her ex-husband.
All this to say, I think Johnie is aware on a surface level of her low self-esteem and jokes about it brazenly often as a coping mechanism ("I'm a walking red flag!"), but exploring it further and talking in detail about her past (especially on camera for the world to see and judge) might be painful for her. I don't think anyone likes admitting they're not confident, much less so in front of an audience of other women where the goal is to be chosen, and desirable. So yeah, I totally get where she's coming from, just like most of the audience did, bc it's raw, it's flawed, it's real, it's relatable. But at the same time, just like Steph says, that doesn't absolve her actions. Just bc I may joke about me being a red flag or having toxic patterns or "not a good picker", doesn't make it ok. If anything, her saying "I don't pick the best men, I take accountability for that' is a perfect example of that lack of self-awareness, and shows she doesn't even know why she does the things she does. Imo, that should've been a moment of: ok, I know I have this issue, let me take this opportunity to work on myself instead of being avoidant about it and brushing it off with jokes.
Then again, MAN can I relate to the joking about oneself and my flaws to try to absolve them and avoid working on them bc who tf likes to admit we've got problems and need to work on ourselves, when that shit is HARD...... Like damn, relatable to a T, miss Johnie. ANYWAYS, I'm sorry that my two-part comment was so long, stranger that I replied to. I understand if you didn't read any of it, but all this to say: TL; DR: I agree with you. 😂
@@frecklesandwine th-cam.com/video/tx8qmHddGEo/w-d-xo.html this interview she gave gives more clarity
No , I understood her too
I do; i related to Johnie right away
Chris' ego was bruised. He came on the show talking about how people only chose him for his looks (which I highly question), and couldn't handle being second to Izzy.
This is so true but it also made me giggle😂
Meaning he looks like a good guy
Naahh he was the best looking guy I have ever seen on the show imo. Good natural features + hair, looks clean, approachable- without looking too macho.
It didn't help that Izzy wanted to Lord it over him every chance he got lol 😅
@@anyadarlinggI have to disagree. chris was most definitely not the best looking guy. And while looks are subjective he doesn’t cut it off the bat like that. I think he told himself to be over-confident as if his looks are all that bc he gets called the nice guy. Off the top of my head there was definitely some other guys from previous seasons that never got air time like that but when you see them in the “living quarters foyer” they are attractive as hell! You see some really attractive people on the show initially yet gotta wonder why they were never shown besides a certain production agenda.
Ppl who were good looking even for camera but got no camera time:
S3 DaVonté
S2 Haseeb
S3 Nash
S4 Conner
S4 Ryland
S5 Efrain
S5 Justice
-S3 Zach- NVM he’s RACIST, WE SEE WHY WE DIDNT SEE HIM.
I don’t think Johnnie actually UNDERSTANDS WHY she’s chosen those types of partners in the past though tbh 😕 As someone who grew up in an Authoritarian household with a Narcissistic parent, I was basically like perfect bait for predators and toxic partners by the time I became an adult because my red flag detector/intuition was completely deactivated. Things that other people would see as clear red flags felt completely normal and even familiar to me since that’s what I saw and experienced growing up. It wasn’t until I went to therapy years ago that I was able to figure out WHY I was ending up in these types of relationships. I had to do so much self work and actually fill out workbooks that had clearly stated universal red flags. I learned how to set boundaries, which as it turns out is INCREDIBLE repellant for abusive predators 💯 Now, thank goodness, I actually have an intuition that works and I can recognize red flags MUCH sooner, and I actually LEAVE. Sometimes, I still even gaslight myself and I have to write down an actual list of the red flags I’m seeing and look back on it, so I have a clear picture of what’s going on and I don’t try to justify any of the signs. I think Johnnie just hasn’t done that work yet to realize exactly why she’s had such hard times in her past relationships, which is why she couldn’t provide an explanation. I know some people think she’s kind of a mess, but I really feel for her if she’s going through what I was going through years ago before I knew better ☹️
Very well said. I can relate. It wasn’t until I took a 6 month women’s trauma healing course for myself that I was able to recognize the proper red/yellow/green flags and set healthier boundaries and truly heal. I wish this was readily available to more people… trauma healing really should be taught in schools!!!
I relate to you and your comment soooo much. Sending hugs!!
YES 🙌🏻 I’m so glad you’re healing. Comment was too relateable!
@@EmpressEllie YESSS, I LOVE that for you ❤️ I always say the same thing! There should definitely be a mandatory course for this taught in schools 💯 Sending hugs right back 🥰
@@courtneybumstead Thank you! I’m surprised by how many people can relate to this 🥹 I feel so much less alone knowing there are other people out there who get it ❤️
Very well said. Thank God for your healing and thanks for sharing your testimony. I feel empathy for Johnnie as well💫💔. Also I absolutely agree with all you said especially the part of actively doing the work and setting healthy boundaries. That strengthens our Intuition/Discernment + confidence as we start repelling people with toxic personalities and attracting people who are healthy and wholesome. there is indeed light at the end of the tunnel..sending love❤ and prayers🙏🏽 to anyone still dealing with trauma💔🙏🏽. It does get better and you will love your fabulous life💝🙏🏽 and healthy relationships (with self and with others) once u get whole again. God does heal completely for sure🙏🏽. Love & light y'all 💫❤.
I'm not ashamed to admit that i sing your intro with you in every single video 😭
You just made my night! 🥰
Same 😭😭
Me too haha I love it so much!
Guilty 😅
Sometimes the song gets stuck in my head in the middle of day, and that's how I know I'm due for one of her videos 😆
19:38 this happened also in season 1! When Jessica got rejected by Barnett and then went running back to what’s his name
Or Kwame getting rejected by Micah and then going back to Chelsea
@@noelle9685 it's not the same because Kwame never broke things off with Chelsea. He was still dating both girls
This is just the most toxic season. It's disappointing cuz S4 was probably the most healthy season. So like they really did take a huge step back 😢
Agreed!
@@StephAnyawhat bothered me was that she did tell Chris one thing and was telling Izzy the other. And when Johnnie said "Stacy was deceitful" it was really ironic.
Taylor was the only person in the cast with the level of maturity and emotional health of the season 4 cast. I really respected the way she handled everything going on with JP
Ehh Irina, micah, Jackie, josh. But yeah I guess S5 was the worst lol
Yeah, this season truly has no heroes. Everyone kinda sucks.
Unpopular Opinion: Johnie is NOT obligated to listen to Stacy belittle her character. It’s like the saying ‘I’m not going to waste my time explaining my intentions when you’re determined to misunderstand me’ there’s nothing Johnie could say to change Stacy’s opinion of her. So why subject herself to more harassment? it’s totally within her right to have a side conversation with Chris. I don’t see anything wrong with that, and I’m sure it was more comforting to speak with him than listen to what was being said.
If Stacy was addressing Johnie directly, rather than explaining the beef to Vanessa, I would feel Johnie was inappropriate and dismissive.
I do understand she could have taken that as an opportunity to explain her thoughts in a safe setting, but I can see where she’s coming from
I totally agree. This was not the first time, or even the second time, that Stacey took an opportunity to put a knife into Johnie. I would have tuned out at this point, too. Also, it seemed that Chris was the one who engaged Johnie in the conversation after Stacey's "pop the top" comment, thereby rescuing her from another Stacey tirade. It was awesome to watch Chris and Johnie cocoon themselves while Stacey stomped her foot.
I see what you mean, and I do agree in part. I actually respected Johnie's approach, despite not finding it very mature. But the truth is, when has Stacy ever been mature with her? I know we shouldn't treat ppl the way they've treated us, bc it never helps a situation and isn't the "appropriate, adult" response. But hey, I've done it before too! Bc let's be honest, being the bigger person isn't all it's cracked up to be, and sometimes being amenable and listening can actually be more harmful in the long run. Because then we're actually giving space to the other person's opinion, & validating it with our silence. Hence why I get- and kinda respected- Johnie's dismissive reaction at the reunion.
These two women are essentially repeating patterns with each other: Stacy didn't feel like Johnie was worthy of her time or respect or attention, bc she found out Johnie bad-mouthed her in the pods, so as a result she ghosts her, doesn't want to be a part of anything with her, and when confronted with her, is rude and disrespectful. And anytime anyone, including Izzy & the other girls in the pods, even mentions Johnie at all, Stacy gets hyper defensive and assumes there's interest there or that she's being compared to her and antagonized/"bullied."
In turn, Johnie hears and sees all of this, and feels rightfully hurt by the sudden coldness and excessive aggression, and decides to do the same: act like Stacy doesn't exist and her opinions are completely invalid. It's funny bc both women have essentially said the same thing to their partners about each other: Stacy has said to Izzy multiple times "I don't even know why you're bringing her up"; "I really don't want to be here or involved in this drama"; "Why were you even talking to her, what could you possibly have to talk about?"; "Honestly, I didn't want to be in the same room with her again" and Johnie said to Chris at the reunion: "I don't even know why I should listen to anything she has to say after everything"; "I'm just gonna keep smiling; anyways, how've you been?"; "Oh, what did she say? This is so stupid, after how she treated me."
So it's ironic, bc hurt people hurt people, of course. And it's like these two women brought out the worst insecurities in each other, but may have been exactly what the other needed to better themselves. Now, let me explain: yes, I am mostly on Johnie's side for the whole debacle. Mainly bc of how Stacy treated her, Izzy, and the whole experiment: her approach was very cold, cruel, and calculated, and she's obviously shallow. Johnie, on the other hand, doesn't come across that way and is much more down to earth, flawed, messy, and relatable. Stacy likes to act perfect, and composed, and like a know it all who's better than everyone else, at all times. Where Johnie is open and vulnerable, Stacy is reserved and keeps her cards close to her chest. Where Johnie lays everything out and exposes her flaws for all to see, Stacy likes to blame others and keep them hidden behind the scenes. Where Johnie is emotional and forgiving, Stacy is harsh and stern.
HOWEVER, as much as it probably sounds like I'm digging into Stacy right now, like the rest of America is, I have to say: she did not give me that energy in the pods or with the other women. She seemed reserved and cold, yes, but overall was very supportive to the other women and kept to herself, which seemed very mature of her. She was constantly there anytime anyone had a breakdown, and never said a negative word about the other women to anyone, including the men. And btw, she has every right not to share who she's interested in with the other women to preserve the integrity of the experiment; I thought that was actually really intelligent! So Johnie should've respected that and not used it as a license to bash her or claim Stacy's intent wasn't genuine. To me, it was very obvious Johnie's response to Stacy in the pods was rooted in jealousy, hurt, insecurity, but also a bit of truth. Izzy and Stacy aren't compatible, and Izzy WOULD soon find out why. There's even a moment where Johnie says they're definitely not going to work out bc he has bad credit and probably can't afford her lifestyle. So she intuitively knew Stacy much better than Izzy did, and was actually right, in a sense.
Similarly, Stacy's assessment of Johnie's response of not being chosen, and her fear of rejection and selfishly running straight to Chris to avoid confronting her feelings was also 100% accurate, and right. And she also hit the nail on the head by saying her and Chris are crazy for choosing each other and definitely won't work out and there's something wrong there. I thought that was so mature when she told Izzy that, and told him to stay out of it & not pity Chris, bc it's not their business. Bc that was so true. And Chris is a grown man who definitely didn't deserve any pity; totally agree w her on that! Tbh, I found his vibes from the first episode so people-pleasing and not genuine, and that rubbed me the wrong way from the jump. (Not saying he's a bad person; just saying, the cheating was no surprise.) So ofc Chris and Johnie weren't going to work out, and weren't a good idea to begin with, like she said. And ofc it was gonna end in disaster and deceit. Bc that's how it started, ffs!! What did they expect?! You can't build a foundation on a bed of lies! 😂
So essentially, despite their hatred of each other, and the fact that they claim they're so different and "their personalities don't mesh" and "some people just aren't meant to get along" both women ended up knowing each other way better than they thought they knew themselves, and certainly way better than their partners knew them! Which I find really funny. Cuz it's like, to improve, they're actually what the other needs. It's just that they're both toxic when it comes to relationships, so they don't want what they need. Hence why they hate each other, bc they see each other's flaws perfectly and call it out.
It was very mean-girl vibes and not classy at all. All I could think was, "Didn't your mother ever teach you manners?"
I also disagree a little bit that she wasn't obligated to listen to Stacy: because she did sign up for both the show, and agree to the reunion. She knew questions would be asked, and it wasn't just rude to Stacy, but it was disrespectful to Nick and Vanessa, too.
@@KE-hr4sb I have to disagree, I don't think it was disrespectful to the hosts at all. They don't treat the cast with any respect and so they shouldn't expect it in return, anyway. Steph has talked about how problematic their behaviour has been and their unsuitability for such a role. The question of whether it was disrespectful to Stacy is irrelevant, she doesn't even deserve a reply at that point. It's not about Johnie being superior, it's avoiding straight up verbal abuse. Signing up to a show doesn't mean you revoke control of your autonomy in service to the show.
I don't mind that Johnie was talking to Chris while Stacy was bitching about her. If I were Johnie, I'd probably be overtly dismissive too of a toxic person who told me in the past that I was "a shit person". Even if it would make me look rude on camera, I wouldn't care. I'm gonna drown out whatever abuse is being thrown at me cus this person doesn't know me, clearly dislikes me, and I don't need to make space for their vitriol. Idk, it's a weird situation so no idea how I'd actually act but I don't think I'd sit patiently and listen to someone arrogantly list the reasons why they were justified in bullying me.
EXACTLY. that is just how I saw it too!!
I agree!
And if you look at the footage, Chris is the one who engages Johnie in conversation after Stacey's "pop the top" comment. He's basically telling her, "Don't listen to this crap, talk to me instead." I applauded both of them, because at that point, I was totally sick of Stacey's whining.
EXACTLY!!!! Thank you! I was searching for that comment.
Yes, I thought the same. Though actually it was Chris initiating the talking duirng Stacy's tirade. Stacy was very unpleasant - I don't think Johnie needed to listen to any more of that.
Johnny was on a recent interview and explained her reaction at the reunion when Stacey was talking...... Part of it was that Stacey had already said this more than a few times beforehand .... And she had heard the exact same phrases and reasoning from Stacey before and initially didn't want to come on the reunion because she anticipated another Stacey bashing..... She didn't need to hear another replay she explained.... And she got side tracked by Chris as they having talked since Chris left her in the midst of a relationship where she believed they were committed as boyfriend girlfriend and Chris entirely ghosted her.... And also cheated on her and she only found out from a friend sighting him with the other woman..... Chris who was the real villain of the show got off extremely lightly
I couldn't stand Stacey
@@patriciabutler4427ugh me neither. Johnnie is so much prettier than her. Stacey legit looks like Matt Damon. I was shocked when she was shown without makeup. She hides her real face with some heavy handed makeup. Everything about her made me squirm. She was so sneaky too. She only wanted to have bro talks with Izzie and she only started being serious with him once she was eavesdropping on Johnnie. After she became vulnerable with Izzie was when he made up his mind on Ms. I only date guys my dad’s age. She was the Irina this season IMO. I can’t believe that was Houston’s season. I wanted it to be the best season :’) Milton was a real one through and through
And then she dumped Izzy because he wasn't on her level of financial income, I couldn't stand listening to her talk, she sounds like she's moaning, or growling after each word, worse than fingernails scraping on a chalkboard
Couldn’t care less about this show. This video played by accident. Was 100% invested the whole time.
I loveeee your channel
Haha! Glad you ended up here 🫶🏽
Wow
I personally don’t think Johnny was being dishonest to either guys in the pods. I think she said exactly what she does, generally goes after the guy emotionally unavailable, a.k.a. toxic for her, and rebounds back with a guy who cares more for her than she does for him because it’s safe. Love your videos 😊
I like Johnnie, I think she’s a sweet girl, who still speaks her mind. To me she wasn’t telling lies in the pod. She basically said Chris is my typical. But Izzy was the attraction? the only thing I think she did wrong was ran back to Chris as soon as she got rejected. Stacy, I kind of don’t care for, but I respected her when she said she’s not there to meet friends but to find love.
I like her too
Exactly. Everybody started jumping on this “Johnie lied hate-train” and I’m like how’d she lie? She didn’t lie. She told the truth to each of them, worded very similarly which I think is what caused her revelation to be misconstrued. Had she worded it so folks got what she meant off the bat, could it have been easier to understand, sure - but instead folks didn’t ask her to clarify further even tho she told Chris what she meant when she went back to him after Izzy rejected her. But I got exactly what she meant. Both were typical choices for her, in different manners though.
Oh and talking about lies: funny how Izzy said Johnie asked him multiple time to be her bf…I’m like dude let it go. You’re trying to tarnish her reputation bc you are sassy! He always has a sassy comeback, yet they didn’t roll the clip to even prove she said that like they did w/ Cole & Zanab & the damn cuties.
Just a couple of points that may fill in some gaps:
-Johnie and Aaliyah are close friends to this day so she is not team Lydia at all lol
-Apparently Chris reconnected with his ex
As a someone who admires the psych field, I genuinely enjoy your videos; I love expanding my vocabulary and understanding of this subject. I honestly think that the movie Heathers would make great content for a therapist breakdown video!!!❤
Thanks for the suggestion! I think I watched that last year. I didn’t even think about it! Great idea
And how it plays now compared to how it played when it was released.
Something I was curious about you covering was Johnie talking about losing the one man she ever truly loved to addiction. Do you think it could be fair to say that the trauma from losing a romantic partner, then rebounding with a loveless marriage, would leave her susceptible to giving mixed signals with what she wants in her next relationship?
Yes. I’m surprised her past trauma isn’t being talked about more. She’s being painted to be weird… I honestly just see a (rightfully so) traumatized person. She cries so much, I really feel for her. She seems genuine, not crocodile tears.
I feel like this definitely should have been looked into. I like when people are less judgemental and more open to an array of possibilities regarding her behaviour.
This is so spot on and didn't occur to me until you said it. Now it seems almost obvious. You're very smart with people lol.
I’m a therapist in my community. This season has been so frustrating. I’ve only been able to watch it through the lenses of therapists and people who advocate for healthy relationships and behavior who provide commentary. I love the vocabulary you use and information you share, like from Come As You Are. Where as Johnie and Chris may really benefit from working with a therapist without the stress of the show (everyone would in my opinion), I was extremely uncomfortable with how Stacy and in particular Izzy engaged with each other and other people they had previously been interested in. I look forward to your take. I also can’t wait to go through your previous videos and see what you make.
I really enjoyed this breakdown. I was genuinely shocked watching the reunion and hearing Chris admit that he cheated on Johnie. Did not see that coming. I’m curious how after all of that, they were still whispering to each other while Stacy was talking. Their closeness at the reunion didn’t add up 🤔
They both didn't love each other. They pretty much were friends with benefits. Now, they both are in relationships that make them happy so their friendship is actually a friendship now. Yes it hurts to be cheated on but the experiences they shared being on a dating show trumped the temporary hurt she felt. If you see her new boyfriend, he is fine fine fine and tall. So Chris yes he is cute as well did her a favor.
i don’t think johnie was being dishonest. two things can be true at once and she was explaining her pattern overall. in an interview she explained that they cut out a lot of the things she said so i think they cut out enough of what she said to make it confusing and seem dishonest. also stacy was being so aggressive during the reunion, like i was happy that johnie didn’t give her the chance to belittle her and dig into her again. stacy is just trying to portray a certain image and narrative and johnie wasn’t giving up her mental space for stacy to do that
I definitely noticed them talking more about sex and money this season. Maybe the more pragmatic topics was a reason for so few couples in the end.
I agree
You really need to host the reunion!! You would actually give us the in-depth analysis needed to synthesize the season and ask the right questions!!! I cannot WAIT for your video on Lydia- I kinda hope you do a friendship one because that was the most toxic bullying I have ever seen on a reality show.
But this video is spot on, just had to get it out
😂😂 come-on
Yessss!!!!!
I totally understood what Johnie was saying.
I kept watching commentary for love is blind but all the time was graving for yours to come online. You have such a clear view of these people and even if you are critical you speak with so much love for people in general. Thank you for your content!
the girl is cheated and ghosted and your first reaction is wondering what SHE did? nice 😅😅😅
I appreciate how much you try to express and remind everyone of just how many nuances can contribute to what we see on a screen. You have so much grace and empathy for people. I can't imagine how many folks you're helping by breaking down things like this. I'm sure there are so many people who are afraid to seek help or understand what's going on in their lives, but seeing something more familiar like this could change their perspective. Thank you for taking the time to do things like this outside of it being your career. ♥
Fortunetellers lol! I love that term. I have someone in my life who will always either say "I told you this is going to happen" (even when they most definitely did not) or who will say "I knew it!" and there's no way of knowing if they did or didn't. You cracked me up 😂😂😂
I've been awaiting your analysis. I enjoy when you confirm my take but also your different perspectives that shed light on other things. I can't wait for the rest!
I found myself trying to predict your take on these dynamics as I watched this season, haha! I really appreciate hearing the way you interpret these relationships, especially given your professional background. And the artful way you splice in clips from the show! You do such great work. REALLY enjoy your content! *Chef's kiss*
So excited! I actually liked Johnny and it was so hard watching some parts of the show this season, especially with Aaliyah
Love this series! This season felt like such a mess and it felt like sooo much was edited out too 😭
I enjoy and learn so much when you do these types of videos, can’t wait to watch!
I'm so glad!
Johnie did a really good interview with Deepti and Natalie. She explains a lot including the whispering during reunion.
I have been waiting for your LIB season 5 videos! Some of my favorites. Great work as always thank you!
I think I look forward to your breakdown videos about this even more than the show itself 😊
So interesting! I love hearing your thoughts on this pair. This was definitely my LEAST favorite season but i can’t wait to see the rest of your breakdowns!! 🫶🏻
What's going on with chris and Johnny at the reunion? Why were they so close and nonchalant about the cheating? Feels like there's more backstory there
I agree it was a little weird but I think it’s because they had to have only dated for like 3 weeks and it was a year and a half prior. Like I’m sure it hurt but they seemed to have made amends and moved on given the short-lived relationship.
@@lorenruffin4695they even said they were friends during the reunion, and not every relationship ends in an explosive way so maybe they became amicable in the year and a half
Johnny did tear up when saying what happened but they both moved on so she clearly forgave him.
Thank you so much for this video! I had my suspicions over these two but with video I corroborated them. And I'm glad for this important tip you mentioned that the person always warns about him/herself at the beginning, so it's good to listen carefully what they say at the beginning while meeting you. Loved your review!
this was a great video and I totally forgot about that initial red flag with Chris about calling himself a playboy type look lmao I agree with you! i remember thinking "that's typically not what you say about yourself... you're on the bottom of my list now lol"
YOU POSTED YOUR REACTION YAY! I’ve been waiting for your vid! You do such a great job at analyzing the show 🫶🏾
I love you content! Wow, this individual breakdown was on point in my opinion. I’m looking forward to your breakdown of Uche and Lydia.
IVE BEEN SO EXCITED FOR THIS
Wooottt! I've been waiting on your breakdowns! Let's get it! 😄
I cant wait for a milton and lydia video. Milton annoyed the hell out of me, but I only see people in the comments loving on him! Cant wait to hear your perspective
I’m excited for the Stacy/Izzy episode…
stacy-johnie at reunion: it was rude to talk when stacy was talking but she was being passive/passive aggressive but it's clear she has zero interest in being talked down at by stacy or being in head to head conflict- i kind of got it because stacy was full of herself and being so aggressive- her demeanor would feel triggering for me too and unless it was someone i cared about a repair with id probably deflect too right or wrong
I have been waiting for this ahhh 🍾
Stephhhhh!!! I’ve been waiting for this! While watching I was like “oooooffff steph is gonna have a lot to digest with this season” 😂
I appreciate you talking about "people think I am...but I'm not really like that"
I completely agree that when someone is trying to downplay themselves by saying this, it's their way of padding down their potential red flags
I love your take on these shows. I know it’s a lot of work but I hope you’re able to put out more videos faster.
Thanks Steph Anya for sharing your thoughts on these issues too. You raised a lotta important topics in this review. Please keep em coming. So insightful🙏🏽❤. God bless
Thank you for watching and supporting 🫶🏽
oooo i was waiting for a vid on season 5 from you!!!💗
Been waiting for this 🩵🩵🩵
I was waiting for your review...it's almost as if the season isn't complete (in my eyes) until you have added your review. Lol. You are the bow on the gift-wrapped show. 🙂
Aw that’s sweet. Thank you ☺️
I was waiting for you to do these!
Great insights! I totally forgot Chris's "People think I'm a player" intro, but it does come back later.
Omg finally!!Couldn’t wait for this!!!
I love this type of videos of yours. I have the chance to assess myself thru my reactions to their behaviour. Your professional review is very valuable to me! Thank you for your work! Can't wait for the next season and your next video!
Thank you for sharing that. I’m so glad!
I love your content! It’s entertaining but at the same time educational. I self reflect a lot
I appreciate that!
I really do appreciate your perspective and thank you for choosing to do them this way❤
Looking forward to *AALIYA* s🤗
I’ve been waiting for your breakdowns 😂 I don’t watch LIB but these breakdowns are my favorites
I can't wait for the next video!!
I was already waiting for your breakdown vids on Love is Blind s5 😭🤣 finally!
Yessssss I just got so excited seeing this on my feed 😂
I CANNOT wait to see your videos on season 6….omg 😂
I love your videos. I’ve learned so much and been able to understand a lot about my own self and relationships through your videos. Thank you for taking the time to make them. Excited for this one
I love that!
Been waiting for this!
Love what you said about accountability and Johnnie still blaming the other person by saying she picks the wrong or bad person, making it about them being the problem and not her picking them which is her problem. Aaliyah did an interview with Jessie Woo and she took actual accountability! Saying that she looked to herself to identity why she was attracted to someone who would behave a certain way and then corrected her own behavior!
I have been waiting for this 😭😭😭😭
Oh man, Johnie is someone I feel so conflicted about… mainly because I always have a soft spot for her. Like, I thought after what happened in the pods, she was super shady, but AFTER the pods I felt really bad for her. I don’t think Stacy helped with my view of Johnie at all. Stacy just comes off as such a mean girl when it comes to her.
Johnie seemed like the mean girl to me. She was walking around saying all kinds of negative things about Stacy but Stacy was never shown saying anything about her.
@@LindaQueLeenda That’s honestly a pretty perfect way to sum it up! (I had trouble putting my finger on what it was.) I’m also a very non-confrontational person, which is probably why I have that weird soft spot for Johnie.
When I heard Johny saying those things about Stacy I was surprised and disappointed because I like her. But really, she was heartbroken, which made her bitter. Not that it's right but she spoke out her opinion based on the things Izzy told her he wanted in a wife and felt like Stacy wouldn't be able to give it to him(but she thought SHE could). Wouldn't really call that mean.. but she definitely got bitter. On the other hand, Stacy got so pissed that it got to the point of name calling and labeling. I can imagine her in high school giving someone a terrible nickname that spreads over a misunderstanding. I'd be upset as Stacy but if I thought about it I'd understand why and just keep my distance. Not go out of my way to trash her... Cause that would be mean. Even if I told people that she was badmouthing me. It's better than labels. Labels are too broad and open for too much interpretation. But that's just my understanding.
I feel like what Johnie said to both guys can be true. Speaking from experience I have tended towards both of the described types of men too
I’ve BEEN WAITING!!
I’ve been waiting for your review! Clicked so fast 😂
Yayyyy!!!!! I’ve checking everyday since the 15th
😩 I love the dedication! Sorry to keep you waiting
I have been ~waiting~ on you to review LIB 5!
I couldn’t find a way to comment on the Brett and Tiffany video but I wanted to thank you for it, because it was really educational as well as lovely watching you delight in the strength of their relationship! I would really like to persuade my partner to watch some dating shows or couples therapy shows as a way into conversations about our dynamics and communication styles, but it’s not the kind of thing he’s typically into- anyone have any ideas how I might sell it to him?!?
You're beautiful, sis! I love your hair.
🥹Aw thank you ♥️
johnie says "the last few relationships" she chose "the safe one." she was not being disingenuous- it makes sense to me: she had partners who had lots of passion and lots of damage, her love being an addict- she left him for someone safe as a reaction- then the addict ex died: a huge trauma and she regretted and that relationship ended- So i think she had two "patterns" as reactions to what failed in the other...
I saw that situation coming with Chris and Johnnie. Not specifically to that extent 😅 but I knew that it just wouldn’t work out because of the way she dropped him in the pods. He was heartbroken. The male ego is nothing to play with and with the drama surrounding their relationship so early from the jump, I just knew it wouldn’t last too long 🤷🏽♀️
You nake it so easy to watch til the end ❤
What are your thoughts on Lydia? Do you think she knew Uche would be in show? What are your thoughts on Uche, could you say he's a narcissist?
First thing Uche says about Lydia is she's an extemely honest person and I didnt see anything that didnt reflect that. She might throw herself at people and lack boundaries, but she doesnt look like shes trying to hurt people on purpose so his smear campaign after he lost Aliyah just looks insane and desperate. He even admits they were in a relationship when she was looking at his friends Instagram stories. What girlfriend doesn't do that every once in a while? He didn't even say it like it was a repeated pattern or anything. Its like he was stringing anything together to make her look bad and him look good.
@@GopherCakeStuffyeah I kinda felt like uche was playing on the crazy Latina stereotype when trying to paint her as a stalker. And the Instagram stuff totally just didn’t make sense to me at all. Normal relationship behavior to look at the stories of people of the opposite sex your partner follows and suddenly it’s crazy girl stuff? I also find it hard to believe that all his friends singled her out or even noticed her looking and brought it up to him? I’m calling cap.
He doesn't have to be a narcissist to be an asshole! Hell, people with narcissistic personality disorder who get proper treatment usually behave much better than he did lol
You should definitely check love is blind brazil! Love ur videos!!
So much more passionate than the American one! I’m hooked
I was waiting for this reaction so bad.
I caught the subtle shade for the fortune 😂 but I will say with the small camera time, I feel like this was the best analysis and I was thinking those same things. I feel like this season missed A LOT.
The one thing that I don't like is the whole "he/she was saying things behind my back", if it's captured on camera that's one thing but when it's not that's she/he words against theirs and open to benefit of the doubt. Do I care about comments that sound bitter after someone was dumped? Nope, it's normal to feel a little salty and I'm sure the majority of people do it like the example given in the video with Bliss about Zack and Irina. But, I don't think Johnie should be villainized for it.
If I recall it correctly, didn’t Chris whisper to Jonnie first? (I got some really awful family news while I was watching the reunion, so I may be recalling it wrong)
Honestly, the way I saw the reunion whispering thing was that Stacey was just being so over the top judgemental and drama fuelled that Jonnie is kind of like, whatever, people like Stacey aren’t even worth arguing with. She is a mean girl, as demonstrated in how she constantly judges, belittles and attacks people. Chris and Jonnie cared for each other, so Jonnie is giving attention to a person who (even though he did her wrong by ghosting her) is more worth her time and energy. I thought their whispering was quite sweet honestly.
Ya it definitely was Chris who started it and kept saying stuff to Johnie.
You're right, he did. Stacey was talking directly to Johnie anyway; she was addressing Vanessa. And, so what? I'm sure there's footage of side conversations at the reunion that we haven't/didn't see. Johnie wasn't giving Stacey her moment, good for her LMAO
Johnie is a mean girl as well. She’s not in your face about it but best believe she’s going behind your back talking the most shit and will smile in your face.
@@minxxoxo She only spoke badly of Izzy and Stacy which is understandable because Izzy played her and she was venting. What she said about Stacy (that we saw) wasn't anything bad about her just that they wouldn't work out and she was right.
@@joanna0988 I agree.
Great breakdown. I work in the mental health field as well and less than 1 yr away from applying for my interim license. I enjoy your videos because your assessments be spot on. I would love to see you do a therapist breakdown on the show Insecure.
Thanks so much! Oh that’s a great suggestion!!
Omg I was SO disappointed in Chris! I had such high hopes for him and turned out he’s just like all the rest smh
I forgot he introduced himself as a playboy!
On johnnie, Could also be a parental history of addiction and she is trying to “right the wrong” there. I hear that that can be an explanation as well for why we pick knowingly toxic partners
Girl I screamed of excitement when I saw you posted this 🤩🥳🩷
curious about your thoughts following Deepti and Natalie's podcast interview with Johnie on Out of the Pods (I felt it was super eye-opening and she clears up what she and Chris whispered as well)!
You always provide my favorite analysis of this show! ❤
Behind the scenes, Chris was still angry about being second pick. Made him less invested. She said she was still making it up to him for that. He was cheating on her for the last couple weeks (or more) of them dating.
Ah Steph, I’ve missed these breakdowns
Wow I learned so much just within the first 4 minutes lol
Your makeup looks amazing in this video
I don't actually feel that Johnie contradicted herself with Chris and Izzy; I think she just worded something complicated poorly. I think she was being honest with both of them. She usually chose the safe person, but usually had real feelings for people who were emotionally unavailable. So, to me, that was not a contradiction. I also interpreted that she is just very lonely and just wanted to be with someone. Not with a specific person; she just didn't want to be alone. And that's a bad way to enter into a potential marriage!
I get why Stacy would have a problem with Johnie, but holy crap her reaction was excessive! I think it's human to feel jealous and critical of someone we're in competition with. Not necessarily good, but human. I was borderline triggered by the terrible things Stacy was saying to Johnie, bringing back memories of being emotionally abused and bullied. So I maybe can't look at that objectively, being only able to see it through my own trauma, putting myself into Johnie's shoes being berated by another person.
i agree- i understood what she was saying, it was just clumsily said and complex and confusing and in a tense context
Do you do breakdowns of Married At First Sight? One couple that would be a good breakdown is in the UK version Season 8 couple Shona & Brad!
honestly when I saw Chris, I thought " not even ken just Allen"