Cole looks exhausted. I don't think I'd like to be friends with him either because he seems quite immature but that poor man looks 10 years older than in the beginning of this series.
@@arielleabelon7847 I can only go by the things I am seeing in this channel, I haven't watched the show itself. Not my jam. From what I can tell, he's got quite some maturing to do and if he can, all the power and good things to him! I am also not saying he is a bad guy or anything, just not the type of person I would hang out with.
this was the exact thought process i had when watching this scene. honestly it made me sick seeing this level of abuse and bullying-- not just from zanab, but from literally everyone on the show. and even with the new reunion episodes, they continued to bully cole when he was obviously trying to squash any negative feelings they had toward each other. i really do feel for him and i hope he finds better
I noticed her Narcissism from the start! Eventually being treated like that leaves you a broken shell of a person. He was already pretty broken and blaming himself for everything in the reunion. Heart Wrenching to watch! Imagine years and years of narcissistic abuse. I'm so glad he got out when he did 🙏 I hope he heals 💜 cuz it isn't easy
Thank you, this needed to be explained. The reactions when the show first came out ignored these moments that you have highlighted. These two scenes especially made it clear for me how terrible Zenebs behaviour is. Cole coped so much flack for ending this conversation by asking "are you bipolar", but that was exactly what I was thinking watching it. It wasn't a nasty question it was a fair question and he was given so much grief for it.
She is extremely ego hurt from knowing he isn’t attracted to her but instead of leaving or voicing the real issue this is how she voices her frustration. It’s all ego
But he IS attracted to her. He has put his foot in his mouth by saying there was someone else he thought was hotter, but it wasn’t an admittance of not being attracted to Zanab as well. Even if he doesn’t think she’s a “10” but he was still very much attracted to her.
I didn’t really remember this scene but wow! This really says it all besides the alter scene. I’m still not 💯 what I experienced in my last marriage was this but it definitely reminds me of her. It was so hard to watch the reunion and how he was hanged up on. He’s young and had some growing to do but she would have driven anyone crazy. He was smart enough to challenge her more towards the end as I think he was seeing how her actions weren’t matching up to anything she said. So glad they didn’t get married. She would have destroyed him. I think I experienced covert narcissism in my past but I couldn’t put my finger on it at the time I just woke up one day and realized I wasn’t happy and needed to find myself again. This has been fascinating to watch. Thanks for doing these videos.
I actually thought she was fine when she came home from dinner, but at the wedding and after I realized she is SUPER INSECURE, and unfairly labeled Cole something I don’t think he is. He has frat boy energy but I don’t think he was verbally abusive to her. Worst thing he did was give her 9/10 😂😂 now that was just dumb but the thing with the oranges was ridiculous!!
I remember watching the show and Cole was terrible to her talking about how she looked very immaturily but she was a nag, very insecure & took things way way too far in her reactions to him after his initial behavior against her. She pretty much said 'hold my beer' I want to be the villain instead. Then she succeeded.
It’s helpful to see the breakdown of what is said in word salads in real time. It’s so confusing in the moment because they will say perfect miss America answers of what you need to hear as well as insults that you’re to blame so you’re confused by getting your needs met yet being destroyed at the same time. It also helps me see the thought process. These people aren’t doing 3D chess moves like I thought. It’s just moment to moment “how can I be in control thoughts.” It makes me feel better that some of them aren’t coming into relationships with a master plan of how to destroy a person. It’s just minute by minute they decide what they need to say or do to have control in the situation and that does lead to cutting remarks. But it’s a relief to know they aren’t as premeditated as I thought. They just are constantly aware that eventually this relationship is going to implode so they try to get ahead of the rejection way way far ahead of time. Thus creating a self fulfilling prophecy. Yet at the same time they won’t allow themselves the shame of being the one to blame, so they have to find faults and create them in you ahead of time too.
The way everyone rallied around Z on social media and blamed Cole for everything, seemingly blaming him before even REALLY looking into what happened here. It's an example of how SOCIETY has conditioned us to blindly BELIEVE WOMEN under any and all circumstances which often provides an escape of accountability for women, and makes Men ALWAYS be in the wrong even when they really aren't, but because so many women struggle with accountability and holding EACH OTHER accountable because we all believe we're damn near perfect and unproblematic. This is the real issue. Women need to be held accountable
I think it's worst to put towels in the tub than on the floor. On the floor then the staff can pick it up to clean & people can still use the tub. It's totally weird to leave hair in the toilet too that's yucky 😂
Yes!! It's really interesting because spoiling a child and letting them get away with everything can create a narcissist and so can neglecting and abusing a child.
When I watched this scene, it became clear to me how much of a narcissist she was. Especially after it happend. She minimized and gas lit him and acted like a victim
8:20 - 8:30 I don't agree with this one? I mean, I'm diagnosed, but I'm actively trying to stop those behaviors, not amusing myself by confusing people I love. Is that really general narcissistic behavior, this coldness in dealing with other people? I don't identify with that but I do identify A LOT with the sensations you brought talking about unaware narcissists
When I say "unaware narcissist", perhaps it's better to think of this as "instinctive narcissist". These are the vast, vast majority of narcissists, who manipulate others instinctively rather than consciously realising what they're doing. I suppose that "unaware narcissist" is a bit of a confusing term, because you can be diagnosed as a narcissist but still not be consciously aware that you're manipulating (which is the situation that you have described in your other posts). An "aware narcissist" is perhaps better thought of as a "calculating narcissist". They grew up always knowing that they love to manipulate, control, and get emotional reactions from other people. They're extremely rare.
Zanab is broken and hurt and instead of getting therapy she is doing this and Cole is a manchild. Tbh that man should not be getting married to anybody. They're both trying to hurt each other's ego at this point. It looks like a mutual game and zenab is far colder than him so she took it far. If she was nice he would be wounding her in some way. They have the potential of creating a deep trauma bond
Great analysis, and I’m in your camp. But “the wedding day is really soon” line is said with no head shot. I think some things are exacerbated by disingenuous editing/post production.
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Cole looks exhausted. I don't think I'd like to be friends with him either because he seems quite immature but that poor man looks 10 years older than in the beginning of this series.
Great point - he looks totally frazzled.
He's immature but at his age there is room for him to mature and grow. He's going through it hard for someone who is in his mid 20s ☹️
@@arielleabelon7847 I can only go by the things I am seeing in this channel, I haven't watched the show itself. Not my jam. From what I can tell, he's got quite some maturing to do and if he can, all the power and good things to him! I am also not saying he is a bad guy or anything, just not the type of person I would hang out with.
@@bcn7226 I was/am in agreeance with you :) Being immature doesn't necessarily equate to being a terrible person.
I don't think he's immature
This is the scene when I realized that Zanab was a narcissist. The way gasped when I realized it. She was so manipulative in this episode.
did you realize that you're also a narcissist, or u think ur just a princess ?
this was the exact thought process i had when watching this scene. honestly it made me sick seeing this level of abuse and bullying-- not just from zanab, but from literally everyone on the show. and even with the new reunion episodes, they continued to bully cole when he was obviously trying to squash any negative feelings they had toward each other. i really do feel for him and i hope he finds better
I noticed her Narcissism from the start! Eventually being treated like that leaves you a broken shell of a person. He was already pretty broken and blaming himself for everything in the reunion. Heart Wrenching to watch! Imagine years and years of narcissistic abuse. I'm so glad he got out when he did 🙏 I hope he heals 💜 cuz it isn't easy
He looks so drained, it’s really hard to see how exhausted he looks.
I noticed her narcissism right away!
Great recap! The whole time watching this I was wondering what does he see in her? She’s the worst! So bitter, hard to please, so mean to him
Thank you, this needed to be explained. The reactions when the show first came out ignored these moments that you have highlighted. These two scenes especially made it clear for me how terrible Zenebs behaviour is. Cole coped so much flack for ending this conversation by asking "are you bipolar", but that was exactly what I was thinking watching it. It wasn't a nasty question it was a fair question and he was given so much grief for it.
She is extremely ego hurt from knowing he isn’t attracted to her but instead of leaving or voicing the real issue this is how she voices her frustration. It’s all ego
He is attracted to her
But he IS attracted to her. He has put his foot in his mouth by saying there was someone else he thought was hotter, but it wasn’t an admittance of not being attracted to Zanab as well. Even if he doesn’t think she’s a “10” but he was still very much attracted to her.
Cole needs to run from this chaotic mess called ZANAB
Finally someone picks up on it!
her actions drive me crazy
I didn’t really remember this scene but wow! This really says it all besides the alter scene. I’m still not 💯 what I experienced in my last marriage was this but it definitely reminds me of her. It was so hard to watch the reunion and how he was hanged up on. He’s young and had some growing to do but she would have driven anyone crazy. He was smart enough to challenge her more towards the end as I think he was seeing how her actions weren’t matching up to anything she said. So glad they didn’t get married. She would have destroyed him. I think I experienced covert narcissism in my past but I couldn’t put my finger on it at the time I just woke up one day and realized I wasn’t happy and needed to find myself again. This has been fascinating to watch. Thanks for doing these videos.
I actually thought she was fine when she came home from dinner, but at the wedding and after I realized she is SUPER INSECURE, and unfairly labeled Cole something I don’t think he is. He has frat boy energy but I don’t think he was verbally abusive to her. Worst thing he did was give her 9/10 😂😂 now that was just dumb but the thing with the oranges was ridiculous!!
This analysis was so thorough and on point
I remember watching the show and Cole was terrible to her talking about how she looked very immaturily but she was a nag, very insecure & took things way way too far in her reactions to him after his initial behavior against her. She pretty much said 'hold my beer' I want to be the villain instead. Then she succeeded.
It’s helpful to see the breakdown of what is said in word salads in real time. It’s so confusing in the moment because they will say perfect miss America answers of what you need to hear as well as insults that you’re to blame so you’re confused by getting your needs met yet being destroyed at the same time.
It also helps me see the thought process. These people aren’t doing 3D chess moves like I thought. It’s just moment to moment “how can I be in control thoughts.” It makes me feel better that some of them aren’t coming into relationships with a master plan of how to destroy a person. It’s just minute by minute they decide what they need to say or do to have control in the situation and that does lead to cutting remarks. But it’s a relief to know they aren’t as premeditated as I thought. They just are constantly aware that eventually this relationship is going to implode so they try to get ahead of the rejection way way far ahead of time. Thus creating a self fulfilling prophecy. Yet at the same time they won’t allow themselves the shame of being the one to blame, so they have to find faults and create them in you ahead of time too.
Reality TV loves a good narc sadly - all over the shop!!!
The way everyone rallied around Z on social media and blamed Cole for everything, seemingly blaming him before even REALLY looking into what happened here. It's an example of how SOCIETY has conditioned us to blindly BELIEVE WOMEN under any and all circumstances which often provides an escape of accountability for women, and makes Men ALWAYS be in the wrong even when they really aren't, but because so many women struggle with accountability and holding EACH OTHER accountable because we all believe we're damn near perfect and unproblematic. This is the real issue. Women need to be held accountable
Can’t wait for part 5
Thank you for this
I think it's worst to put towels in the tub than on the floor. On the floor then the staff can pick it up to clean & people can still use the tub. It's totally weird to leave hair in the toilet too that's yucky 😂
Who made this Channel? It's just impressive to see someone delicate a channel for someone crazy
Really cool video
I’m curious if trauma can cause narcissism? She had a tough childhood…
Yes it can
Yup that is usually the cause… trauma. My sister is a narcissist and just got out of a relationship with one… pure chaos
Yes!! It's really interesting because spoiling a child and letting them get away with everything can create a narcissist and so can neglecting and abusing a child.
Absolutely, however it’s not his responsibility to treat that or understand that if she refuses to see it or get help for the trauma.
When I watched this scene, it became clear to me how much of a narcissist she was. Especially after it happend. She minimized and gas lit him and acted like a victim
I feel that Zanab might have PMDD.
8:20 - 8:30 I don't agree with this one? I mean, I'm diagnosed, but I'm actively trying to stop those behaviors, not amusing myself by confusing people I love.
Is that really general narcissistic behavior, this coldness in dealing with other people? I don't identify with that but I do identify A LOT with the sensations you brought talking about unaware narcissists
When I say "unaware narcissist", perhaps it's better to think of this as "instinctive narcissist". These are the vast, vast majority of narcissists, who manipulate others instinctively rather than consciously realising what they're doing. I suppose that "unaware narcissist" is a bit of a confusing term, because you can be diagnosed as a narcissist but still not be consciously aware that you're manipulating (which is the situation that you have described in your other posts).
An "aware narcissist" is perhaps better thought of as a "calculating narcissist". They grew up always knowing that they love to manipulate, control, and get emotional reactions from other people. They're extremely rare.
Literally sounds like my ex
i pray that all narcs get therapy
Zanab is broken and hurt and instead of getting therapy she is doing this and Cole is a manchild. Tbh that man should not be getting married to anybody. They're both trying to hurt each other's ego at this point. It looks like a mutual game and zenab is far colder than him so she took it far. If she was nice he would be wounding her in some way. They have the potential of creating a deep trauma bond
yes I saw so many red flags in her. straight narcissism gas lighter.
Great analysis, and I’m in your camp. But “the wedding day is really soon” line is said with no head shot. I think some things are exacerbated by disingenuous editing/post production.