Zanab from Love Is Blind: narcissist analysis, part 6 - Zanab smears Cole
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 18 ก.พ. 2023
- Part 6 of my analysis of Zanab Jaffries from Love Is Blind and her underlying narcissism.
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“You are one of the nicest people I’ve ever met in my life”. Damn Alexa you need to meet some more people.
I saw her altar speech, she planned on saying no, wrote the speech beforehand and discussed it with her "girls" so they can clap at the end and make her movie trailer complete
I thought just the same
I don't think she discussed it with her girls. She didn't have to. I'm sure she was badmouthing him nonstop to them painting him as a body-shamer. Of course they clapped.
Lol yup the grand queen 👸 poo pa.
My wife liked watching this show. I decided to give it a go, and the first scene I witnessed was the chicken cooking. I can't recall the last time I was this uncomfortable. Felt like screaming to screen "DUDE LEAVE! She'll crap inside your soul!". Wife didn't understand, so I explained I had an ex like that, and everything Zan was doing was toxic and abusive and that whatever happens at the altar Cole WILL definitely cry. I hate this show for giving her this much of a platform to not only abuse a dude for a long time, but also for giving her an internet following who validate her actions. Thank you for pinpointing everything she did. Not defending Cole. He just didn't deserve this.
Absolutely. If you've been through that experience with a narcissist, it will leave a scar on you that can be re-opened by watching shows like this.
"She'll crap inside your soul" is a brilliant phrase by the way - a very fitting description of a relationship with a narcissist.
Yess yess yess !!!!
I just can’t stand her !!!
She's so horrible, that she allowed Bartise to fly completely under the radar.
her therapist needs his license revoked. he clearly isn't doing a good job
Seriously though..
She was dating her therapist...
Her rejection speech at the wedding was planned. She wanted to punish him. This action exposed her because she lacked decorum and exhibited hostile behavior that was unwarranted.
Fantastic analysis. I watched the series and thought she was a narcissist. She is quite unaware of how abusive and damaging her behaviour is. Poor deluded soul. She will never be happy and will make any man in her life miserable.
Considering the fact that Zanab has not been able to see the larger picture of anything she has done so far I am quite certain that she really did keep all her options open before the wedding. I am quite certain she had speeches planned out for either occaision and made a decision on whether Cole was "painted" white or black in the moment.
I completely missed that she lied about his parents excuse for not meeting her. Wow
Yes, it's amazing how quickly and easily the lies come flowing.
I do believe her speech was pre planned. It’s very evident she wanted to punish Cole. I think you can add the narcissistic type “malignant” to the “vulnerable” and “covert.” Dr Ramani does a great job explaining all the different types of NPD, and most people with this disorder will display a range of types as it suits their needs. Case in point, when Z behaves “grandiose” and when she behaves “vulnerable” to pull people in. Her “flying monkeys” (name for people who support and supply narcissists) respect her grandiosity and rally around her vulnerability. None of the flying monkeys are interested in Cole’s story because they are hooked into the story that paints him a villain.
That's a brilliant point. As you said, Zanab is a mixture of malignant and vulnerable. Perhaps I should discuss this at the end of the series where I summarise all of her behaviors.
I just binge watched this series! Im so glad you made these! I hope Cole sees this! I think she’s absolutely acting and knew what she was going to do and say, since her vicious response at the alter was totally prepared. 🤦♀️
That movie trailer bit for "catch of the century" had me rolling! Brilliant!
Your videos are so great! I've been binge watching the Zanab series, couldn't believe how new your channel is, the format is so professional and on point.
My partner always felt something off about Zanab, though I could see the obvious 'nagging' she does I couldn't really see what was off about her amongst all the Colleen drama and the bipolar accusation. Seeing all the clips stacked against each other really paints a picture of how she manipulates everyone around her, and why Cole felt she had somesort of personality disorder. I'm curious to know what you think of the reunion episodes where Zanab says she's in therapy and "has no regrets" as to what she said and did throughout the show. Also please do a deep dive into SK, now that it's come out he was cheating on Raven. I really didn't expect SK to be hiding so much, it felt like the emphasis was on Raven to be a better, more open partner to SK.
Thank you, that's very kind.
I haven't watched the reunion episodes yet, but hopefully I'll be able to make a video on them at the end of this series. Attending therapy is something mid-range narcissists like Zanab often do. It helps them to maintain their facade of being a good person who is working on themselves. It also allows them to triangulate other people with their therapist ("my therapist told me your behavior is abusive" etc.). I think the fact that Zanab can watch the entire show and have no regrets gives you an indication of how effective therapy will be for her...
Very interesting about SK. I'll have to look into that when all the info comes out.
It’s worth noting Cole said in interviews that Zanab had talked to Cole’s sister. So, she is adding a white lie when she said she has not talked to Cole’s family. This makes me wonder if she heard Cole loud and clear when he reminded her he offered her more food at breakfast during the cuties scene, but chose to omit that part & revise history bc the first part was the part that bothered her
Very interesting - thanks, I didn't know that.
the fake trailer i’m dying 😂😂😂
I think her speech was planned, and it had been planned for a while, which partially explained why she was all over the place at the dinner table, and why even after the accusations, she still said she would do it all over again with Cole. These participants go on to be influencers, and she expected a good following bc of it.
Oh Lord, that "Single Zanab" movie voice over is too much! 😂
Lol when everything he's describing fits 1:1 how my spouse is with me. I suspected he was a narcissist for a while now, it's crazy how insightful all this is.
Once you learn about narcissism, it's incredible how you start being able to recognise it in people you know.
I'm sorry to hear about your spouse - I hope things aren't too bad.
The voice-over got me. Thought it was from an anime or something.
"CAaatch of the century!"
Your movie voiceover is everything 😂😂😂😂
I think that two things can exist at the same time: 1. She can be a narcissist and 2. She can genuinely believe the things she says about Cole. She seems to have so much internalized pain and lashes out on those around her maybe not understanding that she’s doing it.
I think she was aware, because she prepared speech to be clopped for. This women is evil
Amzing videos! Could you please analyze Shake from Love Is Blind S2?
12:03 - 12:20 ...lmao you hilarious😂 She does think she the main character for real
Just stumbled upon these videos, and you're doing great at pointing out a lot of her behaviors. One thing that bugged me in this one is that Zanab constantly undermines the role of her stepmother in her life. She tells the girls that her parents are gone and Cole's parents will be the only living grandparents for her kids. Her stepmom has been there for the majority of her life (and she's a lovely woman who genuinely seems to care about her). Any theories as to why she may be constantly downplaying her stepmom's role in her life?
I tried to avoid talking about Zanab's parents too much in the videos because a narcissist's attitude to death is a topic that upsets a lot of people.
Narcissists are manipulative by nature. Whenever they interact with another person, they are subconsciously trying to get something from them. This is usually to do with achieving control and/or receiving an emotional reaction (aka fuel/supply). When Zanab brings up her parents, it is therefore done for a reason. Here, she needs to get support and sympathy from her friends, and bringing up her parents helps by making her friends feel sorry for her. Bringing up her stepmom wouldn't serve a purpose, so she doesn't do it.
Things like obligation, loyalty, and gratitude don't factor into the equation for a narcissist as they would for a non-narcissist.
What an awesome series! Thank you! Really opened my eyes to the fact that I really think im a narcissist. Learned it from my mother from my mother for sure, I always thought she was one. I really found myself cringing throughout this series when I realized some of the point you brought up are things my ex boyfriend brought up to me in our relationship. Gosh I wish I could just erase myself and start over
I'm glad you enjoyed it. There's a world of difference between having narcissistic traits which make us behave poorly sometimes and being a full blown narcissist. If you're capable of genuine self reflection on your actions and improving yourself, you're not a narcissist.
@@thenarcissistwatcher I’m not so sure, isn’t it possible to be a narc and recognize that you are? In my last relationship, I just had a hard time in general when my flaws were pointed out and had difficulty recognizing my toxic behavior in the moment. Honestly I thank my ex for surfacing these issues because I really had no idea. Now that I’m aware of it, the challenge is to self-correct. Videos like these really help me evaluate myself so thank you 😊
She knows what she’s going to say but she also doesn’t know if she’s going to say it. Like she said it will all be based on her emotions. She knows Cole doesn’t love her and she had decided to punish him for pretending to love her. She also doesn’t believe she should be loved. So even if Cole did love her, she would sabotage it. Zenab is not a bar girl she is crazy. And not in a mean way. I mean her mind and heart are like 10 tangled necklaces. And she needs to go to the therapy to separate them each. She contradicts she is literally 2 different people. She said it her self the bad Zenab and good the Zenab. Good Zenab is the little girl who lost her parents. Good Zenab is sweet loving innocent. Bad Zenab is the little girl who grew up with the crazy mom she has. Bad Zenab had to create this other world in her head to survive. Instead of taking the frustration out on her she does it to everyone who could potentially love her. No one else mentions this but no one who loves their friend, or daughter, would tell them which dress do you think your dead mom would want you to choose?
I need to see part 7!!
Just found your channel and watched all your episodes! Love your stuff! Please, please do Megan Markle. ;)
This series has been so great, thoroughly enjoying and learning from it.
These videos are so good! I started looking for proof she was a narc and found the explanation to confirm what I thought she was. Cole had no idea what hit him and she managed to break the guy at the end. Glad he judged the bullet.
Always had the feeling, not saying I am right, but that Cole's parents just didn't want to be a part of this show, but she made it about her
Can’t wait for the “cuties” analysis!🎉
I show you things that are sweet and nice... but Humm, that's not actually part of her personality. Those are acts that she put on, actions that she forced to prove some type of point.
the voiceover lol
i love it🤝🏾
I previously thought the altar was preplanned, but now I wonder if she’s telling the truth. Because she doesn’t know if he will be painted black or white until she’s in that moment. She definitely smeared him beforehand so her friends were ready to rally around her if she said no. But I also think she had thought through what she would say, which of course anyone would because it’s on TV.
I do think she planned it and has planned to tell him off at the wedding. She knew. It’s sad to see someone so mean and demeaning and crushing someone else through emotional abuse and gaslighting :/ I’m sure Cole was in a trauma bond- “she’s so mean to me, I don’t even like her, but I don’t know why I stay” (trauma bond)
Catch of the century 😂😂😂 coming soon 😂😂
Zanabs parents could be alive. She likes to manipulate and lie so much it could be for sympathy and control….hmm. I’ve seen ppl lie with no remorse like that in real life.
Lol I love this especially the Zanab movie trailer scene . She’s so vain yuck . Narc ‼️ EVERY man she meets needs to run 🏃♀️!!!!!! I think she knew she was going to say no at this point and she’s so good at lies , acting , manipulating that she played her part very well .
She never wanted to marry him or she wouldn’t have trashed his parents.
Narcissism is blind.
Lovebombing is blind 😛
lol 😂
great anologyy - its how narcs are.
I did not like zanab from the beginning, I did not know why until I saw how she planned to hurt him at the altar.
If you don’t cover Megan Marlee, please consider doing other reality show personalities. Jake Palveka from the bachelor ? Love your content!! 😃
puedes activar los subtítulos, por favor
Can you define triangulation?
Triangulation is where a narcissist uses something else to manipulate you (whether it's another person, an object, or an event). It's a broad category of manipulations and can be used in many different ways.
Example 1: while seducing you, a narcissist tells you that it's so nice you hold the door open for them because their ex partner never did that. They are triangulating you with their ex partner. This flatters you and also makes you feel sorry for the narcissist, therefore bringing you under control and drawing fuel from you.
Example 2: a narcissist is devaluing you. You're telling them about how your day was and, instead of listening to you, they pull out their phone and start playing around with it. They are triangulating you with their phone. This frustrates you and allows them to draw fuel from your negative reaction.
Example 3: a celebrity narcissist is being interviewed. The interviewer says that they have annoyed people in the past. The narcissist turns to the audience and says "did I annoy you guys?" The audience shouts "No!!" The narcissist has asserted control over the interviewer by triangulating them with the audience. (see here: th-cam.com/video/qb_aomDGW8E/w-d-xo.html - time 2 mins, 46 secs)
These examples are just scratching the surface, and there are an almost infinite number of ways that narcissists use triangulation to manipulate.
@@thenarcissistwatcher thank you 🙏
@@Stormy575 you're welcome!