Therapist Breaks Down 'Love is Blind' 4 After the Altar | Jackie's Love Triangles & Micah's Struggle
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 5 ส.ค. 2024
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There's a lot to unpack with this season's 'After the Altar.' We see issues with boundaries after a break up, codependency, poor communication, and of course people seemingly playing it up for the camera. Personally, I wish we could understand more about the 3 love triangles that Jackie is in the center of, but at the same time love triangles are exhausting for me. What did you all think about these last 3 episodes of the season?
#therapistreacts #loveisblind
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00:00 - Intro
01:34 - Episode 1
06:27 - Episode 2
20:44 - Episode 3
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I was under the impression that Kwame's jokes about Paul were related to his physical fitness vs. Kwame still being upset about Micah.
In any case, your video made me realize how their history probably still plays some role in how they interact!
I think it could be both! Great point!
😏 I disagree. Kwame is competitive and called Paul a villain in his story. Those feelings don’t so soon dissolve imo.
That's what I was thinking too!
I agree. I think that was overanalyzed a bit.
It seems like he was trying to beat Paul before the game even started. Plus TONS of the guys are athletic. It doesn’t seem like much of a stretch to think that some, if not a lot, of that need to beat him came from the Micah thing. Even if he no longer likes her, he might still remember him as the guy who stole his girl however long ago
I love how you explained how people often see boundaries as punishment. You gave me a new perspective on how it’s actually protection for ourselves. Definitely gonna implement this philosophy into my life. 😊
I’m so glad that you found that helpful 🫶🏽
Yes! I was thinking like damn I could've used that haha
I agree! It's such a good point
Yess! I've come to love boundaries. I so prefer people telling me how they want to be treated vs guessing or being rude/ignorant
I agree. Same
On the Kwame/Paul thing, I don't think Kwame was saying he took joy in beating Paul in the game because he was still mad about Micah choosing Paul over him. I think he was just making a joking or slightly passive-aggressive comment on how he knew he could get past Paul because Paul's not as physically fit as him. And that's why Chelsea was laughing along. At least, that's how I understood it
Definitely
Exactly!
Yes agreed
Exactly wat i got
Yeah exactly!
I think... Paul saw that he was literally about to marry his mom and ran for the hills. The overstepping of boundaries is WILD!!!!
Dr. Anya, thank you for explaining that boundaries are not a punishment for the other person, rather it’s protecting myself!! I needed to hear that as I often feel guilty for setting boundaries, especially with ex’s.
I’m so glad it was helpful!
I get the feeling that Monica is typically a pretty level-headed person, but past dealings with Josh just immediately puts her on the defensive.
Can't say I blame her to be honest. He is definitely the kind of person who could make my own 5+ years of working on patience with my therapist fly right out the window.
I agree with you. Josh is a walking trigger
I didn't like any of the interactions between him and Jackie either, but maybe I'm biased
@@kenyett7I thought it was just me who thought this
Yeah, plus if you looked at the instagram post she made about her and Josh's engagement she never even said his name so he was mad for no reason 💀
I was hoping you’d touch on how Josh treated Jackie. I noticed that he was playful and not very loving to her. It seemed like he was using comedy to take jabs at her. It made me feel like he doesn’t actually like her and that he just tolerates her. I was uncomfortable, watching all of the “jokes” that he was making. It seems to me that she is way more into him than he is into her. I wonder if he was more interested in “winning her” than actually being in a relationship with her.
Yesssssss to this!
But that's the type of "man" she is used to and therefore wanted. It's sad and I hope she can heal
🎯🎯🎯 I felt the exact same thing. Their scenes were painful and uncomfortable 🥴 def no real love there
Thank you for saying this...this is exactly what I was thinking and saying.
He's very emotionally immature, and I think Jackie is comfortable with that as she's used to it. Yeah I don't see love either. Feels more like his opportunity to carry on being on TV for a while longer.
I loved your explanation of apologies. That the person getting the apology gets to decide wether they accept it or not. It helps to understand it that way. I always felt like I had to accept an apology. Maybe because that's what we learn when we are young. Someone does something bad, then the adult makes them apologize and you have to accept it, move on and still be friends with them. I always felt like I had to accept my ex's apologies when he cheated on me or treated me poorly... This way of looking at apologies is really helpful and also helpful for what you accept from others and boundaries so thank you! We always get something out of your videos !! (english is my second language)
That’s a great point about how we’re socialized to accept apologies in childhood. I’m so glad that you found that part of the video helpful ♥️
My mum always used to say “you offer someone an apology” so she taught us that instead of saying “can you forgive me” you say “I am sorry I xyz, and I want to offer you an apology”
@@TheLucila123I love this
"An Apology is a gift to another person" I love that! It's so nicely put
it seems to me that Paul and Micah’s friendship is a friendship with benefits
Don't forget that in reality tv like this, producers play a big role in the interactions. I'm like 99.9999% sure they arranged the meeting between Micah and Paul's mom and they told her to talk about the fact that Paul was dating someone else.
I SWEAR Kwame is not in love with Chelsea! He wanted Micah and because he's a good guy, he settled for Chelsea because she was/is heads over heels in love with him. He seems to be like "well, I'll make the best of this marriage". You're right, their relationship looks all performative. Even with some lingo she tried using "aight bet" sounds so silly coming from her, you know thats not how she talks.
I too think this relationship seems performative for the cameras. I feel when the cameras are gone they won’t be together 4 yrs from now. Chelsea seems so anxious, and K has given up a lot with his old lifestyle. The other relationships seem natural, loving and authentic. Something seems off her with C &K.
Right!!…sometimes it’s hard to put a finger on it but it really just seems off. I never buy it that he’s in love with her. Seems like she’s doing waay to much and he’s just going with it.
I just think they both care soo much about appearances that they exaggerate/ play it up for the cameras. Or maybe I am just being an optimist.
Question: Do you think there's a possibility that Josh is abusive. The way he acts towards Jackie, the way she got scared when Monica showed up and the way she will not say anything bad about Josh even as a joke but she easily did it to Marshal. It seems like fear not love.
Jackie is used to abuse and gravitates towards toxic relationships. She prefers Josh over Marshall because he treats her the way she's used (macho, man being superior to woman, toxic dynamics etc). So it wouldn't be a surprise that she's in an abusive relationship.
Yes exactly! He was aggressively teasing her, the convos bw them were not peaceful at all, definitely emotionally abusive
I don't think it's a good idea to try to diagnose abuse from clips you see in a reality show.
If you're worried about a friend or family member, you can talk to them. You don't need to try to worry about entertainment television characters.
They have friends and family, too.
Yes as the comments say she is accustomed to toxic relationships say no more.. for this type of woman very sad. Marshal dodged a bullet as he was way too intelligent and emotionally available ( a real catch for an emotionally healthy woman). The throwing of the olive or whatever it was in that Ferris wheel in After the Altar said it all including her reaction! They have only moved in for the cameras and the notoriety from the show. Will be split in no time once the cameras have moved on ! He is most definitely abusive ..just a hunch !
@@mundaneamazingIt's a show, meant for people to watch. And this is a review of the show, with speculations of what is going on. And I asked a question, I didnt make a statement.
If is weird for you to watch the show and listen to commentary and then read comments, only to tell people not to analyse the show and comment on it 🤔
Let's not forget recent cases on influencer mom's arrested for child abuse after years as a influencer. Things happen and people turn a blind eye.
I could be wrong but I feel like Micah just played nice to save her image.
I absolutely LOVED Marshall - I found him to be such a gentleman and a good soul. And Jackie treated him so poorly.
I just assumed Shelby was cast by the producers in hopes that she would say something shocking and create a dramatic moment. I agree that she was very out of place in those settings!
Brett and Tiffany are the BEST (Zack and Bliss are a close second), those couples are the ones I watch this show for. Seeing things work out and go right(and successfully navigate issues). I wish all the couples could find their perfect matches and make it to the end, but that's a crazy pipe dream 🤣💚
Bliss was 2nd choice of Zack. There's nothing healthy or honourable about that. Yuck. Brett and Tiff are far superior
@@aquaabundance4077 I think it's important to acknowledge that Irina was manipulating the situation and the moment Zack had some clarity about the depth of his mistake he came hat in hand and owned up to it. That takes some courage. Ultimately, bliss felt that her connection to him was worth taking a risk for. And they worked out! How wonderful for them.
If someone held a magnifying glass up to my life I would have some pretty embarrassing choices too. I think they prove that something beautiful can grow, even when you mess up.
Your thoughts on boundaries and how they are not punishment for an ex but protection for yourself resonated soooo deeply for me. Going through a break up with an on again off again ex, I was wayyyy too concerned the last time around with how blocking my ex would affect him and his thoughts/feelings on me/our relationship. I thought not blocking him would show no animosity between us, but he ended up using that as a means to slithering his way back into my life. Now I have him blocked everywhere and it’s honestly what’s best for us both. He even asked me to do this.
Still waiting for season 1!!! Lauren and Cameron are the best but I think there would a LOT to breakdown with Amber and Barnett! Even stuff amber has said recently about the show.
What has she said recently ?
Josh is playing with Jackie. They both need to heal, he wasn’t giving husband or truly caring about Jackie, he belittled her and wasn’t proving a safe space for her from what we saw.
LOL! Yes, exactly! I too felt confusion and annoyance at that final Jackie, Josh, Monica love triangle bit. It was tooooo much, and all it did was triple confirm to me how awful as people Jackie and Josh are lol. They are literally perfect match of immaturity and drama. Meanwhile, Monica’s reaction to meeting Josh was completely logical imo and is probably how I’d have reacted to meeting him 😂 I mean, yeah idk her at all and she is probably just as immature as Jackie and Josh because like attracts like, but as a viewer I really got a good kick outta seeing Josh and Jackie finally having someone making them feel the way they themselves made others feel; almost like karma lol.
Last but not least, yesssss to more people in their 30s and up!!
I wonder if the new maturity of the cast comes from not having alcohol shoved down their throat (metaphorically) by the producers every second of the day, at least I hope so.
I think the changes a lot of personalities.
I hope the conditions weren’t as bad in this special as the full season.
Hmmm that could be it! I hope the conditions were better too
I was concerned for Jackie watching these. The way Josh addressed her even in positive situations was weird. Seemed like two people fighting for power in the relationship, no connection. His language towards her, the way he would shift blame, “playfully” threaten to do embarrassing or unpleasant things. And then my impression of the Monica thing was him trying to isolate Jackie from what seemed to be a very important friendship. (Just what I got from that small clip, we don’t know Monica well enough, but it was enough to raise concern for me). Jackie trying to shut out Monica in that conversation, trying not to connect, while expressing that she’s not the one who’s mad at her. The way Jackie was afraid, and immediately shut down once Josh started yelling at Monica. I was surprised to see u not delve into her body language or joshes attitude towards her. To me seemed like really big warning signs for manipulation and- or emotional coercion. The way he seemed to push boundaries, testing what he could get away with, even on camera was startling to me. I agree that all three pple seemed immature, but Josh seems dangerous.
I think Kwame meant that he didn’t see Paul as a physical match in the game, not that he wanted to get back at him for what happened in the pods
When Paul Mother told him to beg Micah back made me so disgusted with her! I would never tell my son to bed any woman back !🙄
i always learn so much by watching your videos, I take more than half to my therapist😭
Aw haha I love that
22:05 so awkward. Chelsea was like basically telling Micah get away from us! 😂😂😂
I really love these kind of videos where you merge some lowkey psychology education with media that tends to be associated with the more negative aspects of pop culture. It’s really fresh and entertaining while also being informative. Thank you for the work you do 😊
I hated the hollow story. That story was traumatic af and Chelsea was like hey babe share this traumatic story as if it was a happy one was insensitive to me.
I hadn’t considered that. I wonder how comfortable he was sharing it
I kept saying HOW IS SHELBY RELEVANT?! It’s actually kind of weird she’s around her so much. Maybe she doesn’t have many friends and they feel bad 🤷🏻♀️
Love your breakdowns of these relationships! I was wondering if you were thinking about breaking down Love Is Blind Japan too. The ways many of the couples approached the relationships is super different than the American version, and it would be super interesting to hear your take on them! (Plus, almost all of them are in their late 20s to late 30s!)
Lol Japanese people on average are very beutiful, so it would be funny.
"Oh no, she's a SEVEN???"
I loved seeing the cultural differences with the Japan edition, and I agree it would be great to see breakdown from that show here ❤
Same! I've been dying for any of the psychology break downs I watch to do that one, but no luck yet! I think there's a lot more healthy dynamics in that one, and subsequently less drama (though still a couple twists and turns) so maybe that's why no one wants to touch it? But I really really don't think the people watching these creators are here for the juicy drama. We're here to learn!
@@LindaQueLeenda there’s a French one?! Omg I need to see it too 😆 Is it it on Netflix? 🤞🏽
Looking forward to season 5 coming out soon.
Kwame is an athlete and Paul is openly a geek. I felt he was joking about that.
I really love your style as a therapist and I'm so glad to have you as a role model because I'm just at the beginning of my journey to become a therapist myself. You truly gave me direction and I wanted to thank you for that ❤
That means a lot. Best of luck on your journey to becoming a therapist! I hope that you love it as much as I do.
Love how civil and thorough your break downs are🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾
Omg steph thank you for doing these covers on relationships, I'm learning so much from you that I hope I can use for my personal life, im tend to be an introverted person and I want to change that and get better at communicating with people socially and especially my family.
Such great insight about using compliments as currency! I have never thought about it that way before. Thanks for yet another great video!
I can’t wait for you to do season 5. It’s already off to an explosive start 😳
Yeah, those last scenes with Monica were very confusing, but I picked up on her being as immature as Josh & Jackie when her and Josh started insulting each other. I hope the show doesn't continue to bring up new storylines at the end of a season. It's pointless and frustrating
Finding your channel lately has been like a bless lately I think I needed this ❤
I’m more excited for your breakdowns than the actual series 😅. Had to go watch the last 3 episodes just to contextualize this video
Such a good video Steph❤️ I always learn something from this content, it’s all so interesting! Can’t wait for season 5 breakdowns!!!!
Your thoughts and analysis on Kwame and Chelsea, and Jackie and Josh were my exact sentiments . Spot on.
I was watching another ATA review and I kept thinking "I wonder when if Mrs Steph Anya will do one" and lo and behold there it was lol I'm in South Africa and it's 2am here and up watching your video like I used to with Game Of Thrones.
Aw hi!! Thanks for staying up so late just to watch. It’ll still be here in the morning if you need your rest 🫶🏽
Been waiting for your breakdown!!
I love your videos! I would love videos on navigating no longer speaking to your emotionally abusive parents and building up your self-esteem and confidence. 😊
If you haven't done so already, could you do an analysis of Rory's relationships on Gilmore Girls and / or Devi's relationships on Never Have I Ever? ❤
Love these break downs
I havent watched the after the altar episodes yet but i enjoyed your wrap up.
Can't wait for season 5!
Thank you!!
I love ur breakdowns of these shows. They are really helpful. Would really love to see a breakdown the ultimatum
I absolutely LOVE watching your videos about these reality shows, because it's such a nice, calm video to watch to decompress! Thank you!
Aw, thank you so much for watching ♥️
I've missed you 😭😭😭 so excited for this vid!!!
OMG i’ve been waiting for u to make a video on this!
Chelsea has been hired now to apart of the casting on Love is Blind so she is a apart of the production. Not sure if that has anything to do with it -her image and the relationship was controlled the entire time..
So happy I found your channel! It’s amazing 😻 I know it’s a little different of an experiment, but I would love if you did these breakdowns on “The Ultimatum” couples
I’m honestly not sure when I came across your videos but I love them and now every time I open TH-cam I sing your intro 😂 I just thought i should share that ❤
I just rewatched 50 shades of grey as an adult... I think you reacting to it/breaking it down would be so interesting. I really despise the male lead character and I'd be interested in a professional take!
I'm anticipating your breakdown of Love is Blind Season 5. Your reaction is the only one I look forward to. NO RUSH! It is A LOT to take in and unpack lol But can't wait for your video to drop!!!! P.S The longer the better :)
Steph I love your videos ! It would be very interesting if you could also break down The ultimatum😄
This should be super interesting! ❤
Please do the ultimatum season 2, the couples’ dynamics are just wild
Loved this breakdown! I really didn’t want to watch After the Alter because it’s always so messy, so this was a great way to get updated on it and not have to watch it myself 😂
you should watch love is blind japan! the couple's are soo cute and it's such a diff dynamic than this love is blind
I loved Love is Blind Japan, it just felt more wholesome.
Steph, cannot wait to see your commentary on the new season of love is blind. Hope you get to do that one too. I have some thoughts about the new participants and I know you would have them too !
New to your Chanel and also new to Hubman and chub girl. Love your review! I just received my first order and the quality of the products are amazing.
I love your explanations❤
Great to see you back, Steph.
Also, 🚨🚨🚨 SPOILER ALERT 🚨🚨🚨
Jackie and Josh have broken up.
i been waiting for this one
Just found you, dying to hear about your twilight breakdowns!
8:50 about punishment and boundaries.....damn nancy needed to hear this.
I don’t feel like the scene with Kwame’s family was staged. Keep in mind that his siblings live on the East coast so it’s normal that they probably only see each other on special occasions. Like when Chelsea spent the holidays with his family and how they came to Seattle for Chelsea’s birthday and of course because they’re filming.
@Steph Anya, LMFT I appreciate your content and how you try to be objective and take into account we didn't experience these things first hand. I pretty much always agree with your assessment, and I like that you keep an open mind. I don't know how to feel about Chelsea and Kwame because I think they do mean what they say but it's awkward often. I took Kwame's comment about Paul to mean he was confident in his own athletic prowess comparatively. I was also perplexed by Shelby's presence and thought I was mistaken when I saw her. Thank goodness Jackie apologized. Wishing everyone their best life.
Hey! Just a thought, I love that you’re gonna do a video dedicated to each couple but what if you did maybe a short for each episode? Just so we can get your quick reaction for each episode as they come? I would LOVE that.
I think that Netflix is kind of "planting" Shelby since she is (allegedly) in the next season of Perfect Match 😬
I love your videos! Would love to see you talk about Love is blind Brazil ❤
Amazing breakdown. So much food for thought.
Thank you!
I love your breakdowns. Can you breakdown the ultimatum. I would love to hear your thoughts on the couples.
I’m definitely thinking about it! The series are such a commitment, but so many of you have suggested it!
i’m living for this makeup look
Aw thank you! 🥰
Oooooooh snap! I’m so excited
Love the breakdown :) i think the producers would also tell them who to sit down with/what to discuss so even with Micah and Paul's mom, thay could also have been prompted by the producets for them to have a conversation
😮 You are always and forever telling me about myself. The bit about boundaries really resonated with me. Ty as always ❤
I’m really interested in the Monica storyline, and I’d really like to know if she was invited to go to Mexico and declined bc she didn’t want to be with josh and knew early enough, or if they weren’t chosen to go on the trip and broke up after that. That, to me, makes a big difference in whether I think she’s “chasing clout” or whatever. Like most people on reality tv likely want to be on tv or they wouldn’t do it, so there’s a baseline already.
Idk I kinda wish they went to mexico w everyone
Great review. I always enjoy your insight. I agree that the Kwame/Chelsea dinner was a first, but I thought it was for the their one year anniversary. I think Jodh was just helping Jackie move. I don't think they've ever lived together. He said, "you have a nice view". She emphasized "we". It could have been a slip of the tongue.
Hey steph thank you for this!! You gave great insight! Im willig to wait for those couples vidoes! Also I cant wait til you finish twilight! ❤❤❤
♥️ thank you! We’re editing Breaking Dawn. Should be out soon!
I was really intrigued by what you said about struggling to be alone with your own thoughts. I can go places alone and I don't need an entourage, but I definitely struggle to be alone with my own thoughts. I always have something on in the background, even when I'm cooking and I definitely have trouble going to sleep at night because my mind is always running a million miles an hour. To be fair, I also have ADHD. I don't know something about it really resonated with me
I can't wait to see your thoughts on Season 5!!!!!
I NEED you to talk about LIB Season 5, this is nuts!!
Love your videos! Please do the Ultimatum too!
While we wait for your videos on the next LIB season 5, maybe watch LIB Brazil? All 3 seasons are so good and interesting! Would love to hear your opinion on it ✨
This series is my new addiction. I would love your views on the Hunger Games
“Be in this whole thing for a year it calls for question” YES. Like wtf ya doing then? Lmao girl you are READING them 😭😂I live for this
My first ex's mother was exactly like Paul's mom. My ex abruptly broke up with me and called me awful names and she tried to kept in touch with me for months trying to get me apologize while I hadn't done anything and it wasn't my decision to break up. Honestly, it was annoying and confusing because it kept me from letting go.
Omg I had a similar situation with an ex only it was his sister in law and not his mother. She kept calling me and trying to counsel me and it was very strange and made me uncomfortable. She then called my mother! To tell her the reason why her brother in law broke up with me. It was so inappropriate. She told my mother things I had told my ex in confidence! I had to tell her that ma’am I did nothing to your brother in law and I don’t want him back please stop trying to get us back together. Whew chile did I dodge a bullet.
Breakdown episode by episode. I enjoy updates as it goes 👍
I cannot wait to hear your comments on S5😮
I would love to see your reaction / analysis of The Ultimatum
May i just say i was super excited when i saw this analyses pop up 😅. As always analyses made so mich sense, but, i dont think Kwame's comment was out of jealousy of Paul. He just meant he was an easy target for a touchdown ( referring to Paul's athletic abilities) imo there was no bitterness there .. but just my 2 cents..
Steph Chelsea already met Kwame’s mom they had a family gathering during Thanksgiving. She mentioned that during the LIB Reunion. By the way Jackie and Josh broke up.
You know what? I love you, girl. These are the debriefs I need.
Please break down the Barbie movie.
I love your takes on these shows! I watch another TH-cam therapist who blind reacts and I love hearing the similarities and differences on what you have to say.
Me too! Who do you watch? I watch Dr Honda
(I used to watch Mickey Atkins too but when she switched up the format I just couldn't follow along as well (which I understand isn't exactly her fault since it was stupid copyright strikes from Netflix))
haha sounds like we watch the same people - Dr Honda and this channel mostly. @@InThisEssayIWill...
I forgot one! I watch dragtherapy (Indie Nile) as well @@InThisEssayIWill...
Regarding the poll, could you do both? My pet peeve is reactions episode by episode, because I've usually seen more than the person doing the reaction and know that a lot of times they're off the mark, and if they'd just watched more eps their opinion would be different.
It sounded like you were going to wait till the end of the season, if so couldn't you just react to each batch of episodes when they come out? That way we're all on the same page, and we as the audience don't have to wait too long for your videos!
My 2 cents 🤗