One of the first dates I had with an ex partner, was him crying and telling me about his past. He showed me his diary and how he wrote about worrying that I would abandon him or something along those lines and then stared at me for my reaction. I reacted exactly like Diamond. Aww...Wiping the tears, cuddling him to my chest. Little did I know this was called crocodile tears and a common technique used by them especially at the beginning of the relationship. I cannot believe how many of these people exist on the planet and how many of us pair up with them..unknowingly.
Yeah when I watched this episode I immediately saw the narcissism and the manipulation. I hope the producers offered her therapy bc what he put her through is severely traumatic and having to go through that on TV makes it even worse.
@@thenarcissistwatcher we see them saying they are in therapy, but I wonder how devoted they are in changing. I often think therapy just makes things worse for these types because now a days, they don't do anything other than active listening which is basically feeding into what a narcissist wants. Let them talk about their lives and encourage them that they aren't wrong, that they should be happy with themselves. I think a lot of it is in fear of the client feeling "why should I go to a therapist who doesn't like me". They aren't going to pay someone to point out their flaws, only to boost their ego!
So enlightening! I have been listening to videos on narcissism for years. But I realize you don’t know squat until you can apply and break down all their maneuvers like this! There are so many behaviors I didn’t realize were narcissistic until you broke them down. This is invaluable. I soak up these videos like a sponge. Very wise commentary. You are doing immense, necessary work to teach others what to look out for. I am so greatly appreciative of your videos.
I concur. By us actually being able to see it play out vs just a lecture about it ,is astonishing!! This channel should get way more views, maybe people don't want to see these things reflected in themselves!
I remember watching this and I was thinking this guy is unbelievable. Does he hear himself talk!?! Very obvious ones are how he was such a hypocrite and paint himself with lies to be a victim. Great breakdown and analysis. I really enjoy your work.
He is SO emotionally immature it's actually difficult to watch. When he tells her and then she says she's going to go inside he quickly cuts her off and says "GO, Just go". Like dude, she literally just said she was going inside, stop trying to get the upper hand like you're ordering her to leave 🙄
Lmfao, truth she needs a damn 6th onme smh, "I have a man in my life, Paul, he is my therapist" (on the show). "Yeah i have trouble with verbally abusive men, in my past relationship with my fiance he was so verbally abusive ive had to seek therapy" (To a man she is on a date with who doesn't know her on the show). I think carlton and zanab would be an amazing couple, at least they'd be worth watching on TV 🍿🫖🫖🍿
I hate the way she was persecuted after this. All she wanted was honesty and time. Taking away someone’s choices and then playing victim is ridiculous.
Oh my Gooooooood.... this analysis is so good. And it makes me sad at the same time. Not just for Diamond. But also because I wish there had been someone following me around doing that with me and my ex in real life... It's been 4 years and I am still experiencing the after effects of that despite going to therapy and educating myself... it will always feel like there was a huge time in my life where I am not 100% sure what I experienced was real or just in my head like he said.
It’s a real tragedy because Carlton is so mired by his own “victim” narrative, he doesn’t see that he’s the root problem in his own dysfunction- even if he had a partner who didn’t care he was bisexual or even supported that. He wants your pity and empathy, but at the same time abuses and endlessly tests you for it and when you reach your breaking point, rather than seeing the role he played and instigated in a relationship’s destruction, he feels he’s the one being betrayed, abused, and lied to. You cannot win with a relationship with him. This dynamic probably will play out over and over again for the rest of his life because he’s simply unwilling to admit the problem was him all along and has been the abuser/betrayer he feared the most.
❤ 8:00 😮 I never recognized triangulation between myself and my spouse until I heard your explanations on this video. Excellent insight! Also- 16:41 and 32:02
😂 It's a serious analysis, but there's definitely something very amusing about Carlton. I think it's the way he takes himself so INCREDIBLY seriously, despite being quite a ridiculous character.
Immediately recognized from his body language alone. His emotions and facial expressions don’t compute. Either he’s crying excessively while projecting or he is extremely calm and calculating while talking. I also think Carlton was pure acting, I don’t think he was in love with Diamond while proposing even, period.
Another very nice video essay. One note though: I would really like you to break down the points of narcissistic dynamic and manipulation visually, at least in the final summary. It would really help following your narration at that point. It would be easy to move the center image to the left of the screen and put the breakdown on the right so we have an overview in written form. Then check the points off the same way you do already, turning text from white to red.
Thank you, that's really useful feedback! I have already recorded the next couple of videos, but I'll have a go at getting that text into future videos!
Ahhh. Another very lovely assessment. He created a large amount of anxiety within me. I felt sadness for his position as a black male who is bisexual, as this community is VICIOUS about its exposure. It’s clearly happening, but they choose to hide it. HOWEVER… :) I don’t think that bisexuality is always about, as Carlton said “I am in love with souls.” With this particular group, it is about GREED. OWNERSHIP. WORSHIP OF THEM. THEIR PLEASURE. YOUR WANTING THEM. His reactions prove as much. Perhaps the fluidity of their sexuality is about ownership, solely? Love will never thrive there because love is truly foreign to them. And not, because they weren’t cared for as a child, necessarily… they come from both types of childhoods. Spoiled. Or neglected. I am starting to think that whatever one is, is meant to be. Which would essentially render psychology obsolete, lol. Also, I have come to observe that having and wanting children is a form of narcissism. Thoughts?
Yes, a narcissist's relationship has a lot to do with their perceived "ownership" of their partner. Little by little, they chip away and take control of their partner until there's almost nothing left. There are many reasons why a narcissist might want to have children. For example: it allows them to control their partner by tying them together, and it helps them to achieve the image they want to portray (e.g. "family man/woman", "caring father/mother" etc.). Non-narcissists will have empathy driving their desire to have children (e.g. wanting to care for and nurture somebody, and creating a loving family) as well as narcissistic reasons.
So many lightbulbs listening to your videos that describe my sister-in-law to a T. Might you have anything to share on twins? My wife is a twin. And I feel my wife has been her victim their entire lives. Worth noting, they are fraternal, but the closest looking fraternal twins you might ever see. If they stand next to each other, you can tell they are twins.
Sorry about the delay in response. I don't have anything specifically on twins. However, I can tell you that the way a narcissist behaves with their twin could vary enormously depending on the type of narcissist they are. For example, some narcissists would try to guilt their twin (and other family members) into providing support for them, while they laze about doing nothing and sponging off others. Some might bully or condescendingly put down their twin at any opportunity. Some might be "BFFs" with their twin, but it would be a tempestuous and often exploitative relationship. There could be so many different dynamics, depending on the type of narcissist. It's expensive, but HG Tudor's Narc Detector is great for understanding what type of narcissist you're dealing with. Otherwise, if you just listen to enough of his work, you will start to recognise which type you are dealing.
@@thenarcissistwatcher Oh that's so cool you responded! NEAT! I don't know why but the fact that Marshall has everyone fooled into thinking he's a saint for "putting up with her" when he deliberately chose her because she has mental illness (vulnerable), gets under my skin. It seems like every season the producers choose narcissists that are higher and higher functioning. Jackie's fear of telling Marshall about not breaking up with the "other guy" yet because she didn't want to get a bad reaction from Marshall (even though they were both in the dating around phase of the show), and Marshall's reaction to that information got to me! Anyway, Im so grateful for your channel because people need to be educated on Narcissism. It's a great way to help people understand what's going on in the world around them in a way that interests them (transfers to the political world even), and it could be life saving advice some day. You are really opening up people's eyes. ANDDDD you just helped me tremendously because I just got out of a relationship with a Narc and your videos helped me process the trauma. THANKS MANNNN
@@Pleaseaskme I'm glad to hear the videos have helped you. Thanks for breaking that down, it's a really interesting take on Marshall. He's had a relatively small amount of screen time in the first half of the season compared to some of the other people, but I'll watch him carefully in the second half.
@@katechill idk much about persons being diagnosed as narcissists… what’s the criteria etc… but I think there are levels to it or more like, some people have a lot of narcissist traits but they’re not on a high spectrum… So it’s not far fetched to say she has narcissistic traits.
I don't know, I just feel like he has been treated so badly all his life and this is a really vulnerable place for him to be. He feels scared and lashes out. Did he handle it the best, of course not, but I would like to see how he would respond if she had responded with more love and understanding when he admitted his sexuality.
I am no psychologist (whatever the heck that means) but I am pretty good at reading energy. The short answer is NO. On both. Winning to them is harming other living things. Somehow, the “win” isn’t enough to them because everyone they are absolutely empty. I mean it. Empty. And no, they can NOT CHANGE!
In my opinion, true narcissists have a high likelihood of winning. True narcissists are usually verryyyy charming and good with their relationships and capable of easily climbing up the social ladder. Oftentimes what they're doing is unlikely to even be believed by the people who know them well. Narcissists do not change their nature but if you go no contact they might put up some boundaries moving forward if one is rigid enough with them.
I was raised by a real life narcissist not the 2023 buzzword that is used everywhere. His behavior on the show is not enough to label him a narcissist. This excessive overuse/misuse of the word does a disservice to people who have suffered actual narcissistic abuse. There is a difference between narcissistic/ narcissistic tendencies/ and a narcissist. Unless you're seeing him clinicly or have been a victim of his abuse giving him a 'diagnosis' is just not accurate.
I wish people would use those terms more than flat out “narcissist” especially if you haven’t been around the person or abused by them. I am glad though that they being attention to red flags/abusive behaviors. I think it’s odd though to tie his non disclosure of his sexuality as being deceitful/narcissistic.. not a fan of that. Context is lacking which is annoying.
@@yulnikita I know exactly how narcissisism works. I grew in a narcissistic family, I was the scapegoat in mine. I've been to therapy for it. It may present itself differently because of culture, religion and environment, but it's narcissism.
I do think it’s odd to tie the non-disclosure of his sexual orientation to deceit & narcissism. This downplays the complexity of LBTQ+ dynamics. It’s entitled to expect a marginalized group to disclose to you immediately. It’s not a dirty secret. His behavior was unacceptable and he has narcissistic traits, but there’s some context missing too. I enjoy you bringing to light potential manipulative & abusive behavior, but the context is important too. Ik it’s not your intent, but I hope that you’re careful when describing traits- e.g- flat affect can be seen in various disorders
Being queer is often used as a shield against criticism of toxic and even narcissistic behavior. Sexual orientation is literally the most important factor in entering a marriage. Hiding it is a lack of empathy for others, it’s entitlement too. Like you deserve her regardless of her reservations. I see it in my community too (I’m trans). There’s no way to have a long term relationship while hiding this info so why not lead with it? Because you would lose control if you did. Because you don’t want to have to pick from a smaller pool of people. The LGBT community has the highest number of narcissists I think because this personality is shaped in childhood as an emotional defense mechanism. I made my peace with that and just focus on weeding the obvious ones out.
@@jakestroll6518 I agree, but you don't have to disclose that information immediately. No one has to be outed before they're ready either, that's just entitlement. I'm bisexual, and it has literally no effect on my relationship. No one is entitled to have that information on the first week of dating you, and if they feel like they do, then they're probably ignorant. Especially that early on, it's literally dangerous to outright out yourself as you're getting to know someone. To conflate this with a personality disorder is odd and downplays it. I'd like to see the studies and research on that. I'm sure there are higher rates of trauma within the LGBT community that could cause personality disorders, but that could result in a number of things, not only NPD.
@@georgiaborak2194 Not immediately but by date 3 and right away if sex on first date. I guess that's why people shouldn't have sex on first date. You don't know what you're getting.
@@georgiaborak2194 this video analysis is so right and you should disclose your sexuality in a serious relationship as soon as it gets serious enough to have sex
One of the first dates I had with an ex partner, was him crying and telling me about his past. He showed me his diary and how he wrote about worrying that I would abandon him or something along those lines and then stared at me for my reaction. I reacted exactly like Diamond. Aww...Wiping the tears, cuddling him to my chest. Little did I know this was called crocodile tears and a common technique used by them especially at the beginning of the relationship. I cannot believe how many of these people exist on the planet and how many of us pair up with them..unknowingly.
Yeah when I watched this episode I immediately saw the narcissism and the manipulation. I hope the producers offered her therapy bc what he put her through is severely traumatic and having to go through that on TV makes it even worse.
Yes, I certainly hope that therapy is made available to partipants after these shows.
@@thenarcissistwatcher we see them saying they are in therapy, but I wonder how devoted they are in changing. I often think therapy just makes things worse for these types because now a days, they don't do anything other than active listening which is basically feeding into what a narcissist wants. Let them talk about their lives and encourage them that they aren't wrong, that they should be happy with themselves. I think a lot of it is in fear of the client feeling "why should I go to a therapist who doesn't like me". They aren't going to pay someone to point out their flaws, only to boost their ego!
Diamond is a strong women. She saw right trough him 💎
He gave me the creeps straight away. Diamond gets ALL THE RESPECT.
After the show aired, he went on a radio show interview seeking sympathy and when they questioned him he became overly emotional and threw a tantrum.
😂 why doesn't that surprise me?
I cringed so hard at him. It was difficult to watch him ruin her time on this experience bc Diamond was so cool.
Carlton and Zanab should get together
Oh gawsh... can u imagine that explosion?! 😳
@@TheQueenrevolution 🍿🍿🍿 who'd be the "victim"?
I wonder if two narcissist ever Date each other- it would be a challenge daily
Hahahha the best comment!
@@mwoods4608 they do! you can youtube it :)
So enlightening! I have been listening to videos on narcissism for years. But I realize you don’t know squat until you can apply and break down all their maneuvers like this! There are so many behaviors I didn’t realize were narcissistic until you broke them down. This is invaluable. I soak up these videos like a sponge. Very wise commentary. You are doing immense, necessary work to teach others what to look out for. I am so greatly appreciative of your videos.
I concur. By us actually being able to see it play out vs just a lecture about it ,is astonishing!! This channel should get way more views, maybe people don't want to see these things reflected in themselves!
I remember watching this and I was thinking this guy is unbelievable. Does he hear himself talk!?! Very obvious ones are how he was such a hypocrite and paint himself with lies to be a victim. Great breakdown and analysis. I really enjoy your work.
He is SO emotionally immature it's actually difficult to watch. When he tells her and then she says she's going to go inside he quickly cuts her off and says "GO, Just go". Like dude, she literally just said she was going inside, stop trying to get the upper hand like you're ordering her to leave 🙄
He chose Diamond cuz her name is Diamond and he knew he could play her
Poor Diamond. This looks like it would be very devastating for anyone, plus the backlash she got afterwards. I hope she's okay, she deserved better.
My favorite channel right now! More please! Can’t wait for Zanab’s 6th video
Lmfao, truth she needs a damn 6th onme smh, "I have a man in my life, Paul, he is my therapist" (on the show). "Yeah i have trouble with verbally abusive men, in my past relationship with my fiance he was so verbally abusive ive had to seek therapy" (To a man she is on a date with who doesn't know her on the show). I think carlton and zanab would be an amazing couple, at least they'd be worth watching on TV 🍿🫖🫖🍿
Thanks, I'm glad you like the vids. More Zanab coming soon!
Agreed!!! just joined and already learning more on the subject in a really accessible relevant fashion!!
I have learned so much from your insights and clear explanations! thank you!!
I hate the way she was persecuted after this. All she wanted was honesty and time. Taking away someone’s choices and then playing victim is ridiculous.
Best analysis well done
Oh my Gooooooood.... this analysis is so good. And it makes me sad at the same time. Not just for Diamond. But also because I wish there had been someone following me around doing that with me and my ex in real life... It's been 4 years and I am still experiencing the after effects of that despite going to therapy and educating myself... it will always feel like there was a huge time in my life where I am not 100% sure what I experienced was real or just in my head like he said.
It’s a real tragedy because Carlton is so mired by his own “victim” narrative, he doesn’t see that he’s the root problem in his own dysfunction- even if he had a partner who didn’t care he was bisexual or even supported that.
He wants your pity and empathy, but at the same time abuses and endlessly tests you for it and when you reach your breaking point, rather than seeing the role he played and instigated in a relationship’s destruction, he feels he’s the one being betrayed, abused, and lied to. You cannot win with a relationship with him.
This dynamic probably will play out over and over again for the rest of his life because he’s simply unwilling to admit the problem was him all along and has been the abuser/betrayer he feared the most.
❤ 8:00 😮 I never recognized triangulation between myself and my spouse until I heard your explanations on this video. Excellent insight! Also- 16:41 and 32:02
Excellent video! Found you yesterday after coming across your Lee Ryan video - another Excellent analysis.
New subscriber. Love your channel! Addicted to your breakdowns. Thanks so much.
I would love for you to do amber heards cross examination or her rebuttal
😮great analysis
daaaaaaaaammmmmnnnn.....this breakdown is seeeerioouuuussssss
wish i knew this 8 years ago
This video to me was hillarious!!! Was it meant to be? Subscribed!!!
😂 It's a serious analysis, but there's definitely something very amusing about Carlton. I think it's the way he takes himself so INCREDIBLY seriously, despite being quite a ridiculous character.
Immediately recognized from his body language alone. His emotions and facial expressions don’t compute. Either he’s crying excessively while projecting or he is extremely calm and calculating while talking.
I also think Carlton was pure acting, I don’t think he was in love with Diamond while proposing even, period.
Another very nice video essay. One note though: I would really like you to break down the points of narcissistic dynamic and manipulation visually, at least in the final summary. It would really help following your narration at that point. It would be easy to move the center image to the left of the screen and put the breakdown on the right so we have an overview in written form. Then check the points off the same way you do already, turning text from white to red.
Thank you, that's really useful feedback! I have already recorded the next couple of videos, but I'll have a go at getting that text into future videos!
@@thenarcissistwatcher Happy to help and looking forward to future videos!
The neurodivergents in the room second that motion!
I hadn’t realised he’d walked out on Amber! 😡
He definitely hated a woman talking about how strong and independent she is
Ahhh. Another very lovely assessment. He created a large amount of anxiety within me. I felt sadness for his position as a black male who is bisexual, as this community is VICIOUS about its exposure. It’s clearly happening, but they choose to hide it. HOWEVER… :)
I don’t think that bisexuality is always about, as Carlton said “I am in love with souls.” With this particular group, it is about GREED. OWNERSHIP. WORSHIP OF THEM. THEIR PLEASURE. YOUR WANTING THEM. His reactions prove as much. Perhaps the fluidity of their sexuality is about ownership, solely? Love will never thrive there because love is truly foreign to them. And not, because they weren’t cared for as a child, necessarily… they come from both types of childhoods. Spoiled. Or neglected. I am starting to think that whatever one is, is meant to be. Which would essentially render psychology obsolete, lol. Also, I have come to observe that having and wanting children is a form of narcissism. Thoughts?
Yes, a narcissist's relationship has a lot to do with their perceived "ownership" of their partner. Little by little, they chip away and take control of their partner until there's almost nothing left.
There are many reasons why a narcissist might want to have children. For example: it allows them to control their partner by tying them together, and it helps them to achieve the image they want to portray (e.g. "family man/woman", "caring father/mother" etc.). Non-narcissists will have empathy driving their desire to have children (e.g. wanting to care for and nurture somebody, and creating a loving family) as well as narcissistic reasons.
@@thenarcissistwatcher very much indeed. Took two months for me to get this notification. Damn you TH-cam!
This is a great dialogue between you two ❤
@@msliberated3899 thank you for reading our exchange. :) I’m happy you’ve met us in this “place.” :)what are your thoughts on the matter?
Please do Matthew from Love is Blind s6
So many lightbulbs listening to your videos that describe my sister-in-law to a T. Might you have anything to share on twins? My wife is a twin. And I feel my wife has been her victim their entire lives.
Worth noting, they are fraternal, but the closest looking fraternal twins you might ever see. If they stand next to each other, you can tell they are twins.
Sorry about the delay in response. I don't have anything specifically on twins. However, I can tell you that the way a narcissist behaves with their twin could vary enormously depending on the type of narcissist they are.
For example, some narcissists would try to guilt their twin (and other family members) into providing support for them, while they laze about doing nothing and sponging off others. Some might bully or condescendingly put down their twin at any opportunity. Some might be "BFFs" with their twin, but it would be a tempestuous and often exploitative relationship. There could be so many different dynamics, depending on the type of narcissist.
It's expensive, but HG Tudor's Narc Detector is great for understanding what type of narcissist you're dealing with. Otherwise, if you just listen to enough of his work, you will start to recognise which type you are dealing.
I just found and I love your channel! Please, please do Megan Markle! ;)
I couldn't compete with HG Tudor's phenomenal ongoing coverage of her! But I would love to make a half-hour summary of the evidence to date.
@@thenarcissistwatcher I think your style is so much different that you wouldn’t compete. :) your stuff is awesome! Looking forward to more videos!!
Meghan is not a narcissist it’s just jealous European women and sassy men 😂
I would love to see a review of Carlton on the reunion episode, it was even more distracting, quite frightening 😒
Yes, that truly was peak narcissist 😂
Can you start a video series on Marshall from Love is Blind 4? Everyone thinks he’s a victim
I'm going to watch the rest of the season first to see if enough interesting things happen. But yes, I can see that one not ending well.
@@thenarcissistwatcher Oh that's so cool you responded! NEAT! I don't know why but the fact that Marshall has everyone fooled into thinking he's a saint for "putting up with her" when he deliberately chose her because she has mental illness (vulnerable), gets under my skin. It seems like every season the producers choose narcissists that are higher and higher functioning.
Jackie's fear of telling Marshall about not breaking up with the "other guy" yet because she didn't want to get a bad reaction from Marshall (even though they were both in the dating around phase of the show), and Marshall's reaction to that information got to me!
Anyway, Im so grateful for your channel because people need to be educated on Narcissism. It's a great way to help people understand what's going on in the world around them in a way that interests them (transfers to the political world even), and it could be life saving advice some day. You are really opening up people's eyes.
ANDDDD you just helped me tremendously because I just got out of a relationship with a Narc and your videos helped me process the trauma. THANKS MANNNN
@@Pleaseaskme I'm glad to hear the videos have helped you. Thanks for breaking that down, it's a really interesting take on Marshall. He's had a relatively small amount of screen time in the first half of the season compared to some of the other people, but I'll watch him carefully in the second half.
@@thenarcissistwatcher plenty of good choices from season 4. I think each character has parts off the narcissist list! 🎉
He's a very unlikable person! 🤬
I wonder if anyone from season 4 is a narcissist?? 😮😮
Absolutely! Narcissists are highly overrepresented on reality TV.
no disrespect, but anyone would have walked away from Amber!
Speaking of Amber, I wonder if she fits as a narcissist? Or she's more up like a "pick me" girl. There's just something that's not so nice about her.
@@katechill idk much about persons being diagnosed as narcissists… what’s the criteria etc… but I think there are levels to it or more like, some people have a lot of narcissist traits but they’re not on a high spectrum… So it’s not far fetched to say she has narcissistic traits.
@@Driven_by_l.o.v.e thanks for your insight. It makes sense
This guy loves to argue omg, diamond wasn’t even arguing with him, this guy needs a counseling
How about saying people showing narcissistic behavior? Not everyone is narcissistic
Carlton and Matthew (6) were the WORST from the seasons.
I don't know, I just feel like he has been treated so badly all his life and this is a really vulnerable place for him to be. He feels scared and lashes out. Did he handle it the best, of course not, but I would like to see how he would respond if she had responded with more love and understanding when he admitted his sexuality.
so this triggers two questions in me. 1. will a narcissist always win or never win? 2. can a narcissist ever realize they are a narc and change?
I am no psychologist (whatever the heck that means) but I am pretty good at reading energy. The short answer is NO. On both. Winning to them is harming other living things. Somehow, the “win” isn’t enough to them because everyone they are absolutely empty. I mean it. Empty. And no, they can NOT CHANGE!
In my opinion, true narcissists have a high likelihood of winning. True narcissists are usually verryyyy charming and good with their relationships and capable of easily climbing up the social ladder. Oftentimes what they're doing is unlikely to even be believed by the people who know them well. Narcissists do not change their nature but if you go no contact they might put up some boundaries moving forward if one is rigid enough with them.
Very disrespectful, this guy needs more attention than women 😂
I was raised by a real life narcissist not the 2023 buzzword that is used everywhere. His behavior on the show is not enough to label him a narcissist. This excessive overuse/misuse of the word does a disservice to people who have suffered actual narcissistic abuse.
There is a difference between narcissistic/ narcissistic tendencies/ and a narcissist. Unless you're seeing him clinicly or have been a victim of his abuse giving him a 'diagnosis' is just not accurate.
I wish people would use those terms more than flat out “narcissist” especially if you haven’t been around the person or abused by them.
I am glad though that they being attention to red flags/abusive behaviors.
I think it’s odd though to tie his non disclosure of his sexuality as being deceitful/narcissistic.. not a fan of that. Context is lacking which is annoying.
Interesting. Why do you think his behaviour was not enough to label him a narcissist?
There are different types of narcissists. Carlton is definitely a narcissist, maybe not like the one who raised you, but he is one.
@@AfriAmericanPrincess that's just not the way it works.
@@yulnikita I know exactly how narcissisism works. I grew in a narcissistic family, I was the scapegoat in mine. I've been to therapy for it. It may present itself differently because of culture, religion and environment, but it's narcissism.
I do think it’s odd to tie the non-disclosure of his sexual orientation to deceit & narcissism. This downplays the complexity of LBTQ+ dynamics.
It’s entitled to expect a marginalized group to disclose to you immediately. It’s not a dirty secret. His behavior was unacceptable and he has narcissistic traits, but there’s some context missing too.
I enjoy you bringing to light potential manipulative & abusive behavior, but the context is important too.
Ik it’s not your intent, but I hope that you’re careful when describing traits- e.g- flat affect can be seen in various disorders
Being queer is often used as a shield against criticism of toxic and even narcissistic behavior. Sexual orientation is literally the most important factor in entering a marriage. Hiding it is a lack of empathy for others, it’s entitlement too. Like you deserve her regardless of her reservations. I see it in my community too (I’m trans). There’s no way to have a long term relationship while hiding this info so why not lead with it? Because you would lose control if you did. Because you don’t want to have to pick from a smaller pool of people. The LGBT community has the highest number of narcissists I think because this personality is shaped in childhood as an emotional defense mechanism. I made my peace with that and just focus on weeding the obvious ones out.
@@jakestroll6518 I agree, but you don't have to disclose that information immediately. No one has to be outed before they're ready either, that's just entitlement. I'm bisexual, and it has literally no effect on my relationship. No one is entitled to have that information on the first week of dating you, and if they feel like they do, then they're probably ignorant.
Especially that early on, it's literally dangerous to outright out yourself as you're getting to know someone. To conflate this with a personality disorder is odd and downplays it.
I'd like to see the studies and research on that. I'm sure there are higher rates of trauma within the LGBT community that could cause personality disorders, but that could result in a number of things, not only NPD.
@@georgiaborak2194 Not immediately but by date 3 and right away if sex on first date. I guess that's why people shouldn't have sex on first date. You don't know what you're getting.
@@georgiaborak2194 this video analysis is so right and you should disclose your sexuality in a serious relationship as soon as it gets serious enough to have sex