The first video is the equivalent of panic sobbing in the shower. The emotional response should exist solely in private, with a loved one, or in a therapists office
The fact that she said “that was a human being….I’m a human being” proves just how personal these people are taking those comments about other peoples bodies. If someone posts a transformation pic, they wouldn’t even know who this person with blue hair, and yet this lady is taking strangers comments and making them about her. It’s insane! If she’s happy and positive about her body, it shouldn’t matter what other people have to say because she is secure in her own skin. Clearly, this is all a facade
"How many times do I have to report these videos and say not interested?" That phrase alone screams to me that people need to learn to get off of the internet if they react so strongly to the body transformation videos of others. Social media is not there to nourish people's mental health and protect people's emotions; the business model often does the exact opposite. I think that people need to learn to realize at what point being on social media is detrimental to them and/or they are not in a good headspace to be on social media.
@@samanthaecotothermia7896 Besides, it’s clear that what she consumes on tiktok are things related to fitness industry (even if it’s hate against it), fat acceptance, diet culture, etc…. She’ll see things related to it. Why is she so shocked?
I mean, it's obvious she identifies with the "before" pic ("your fat self was a human being, i am a human being") and links her own worth to body size (" you should not have to shrink yourself to have value") and it really hurts my heart because she's right, we all are worthy regardless of size and we all are human beings but as far as i know, nobody denies that. The fact that she was so hurt and projected (imo) so much of her own issues to the other person just makes me sad. I don't want to imagine whats going on in her mind, i really hope she has a safe person to work through that.
The first tiktok made me both sympathise and rage. As someone who has struggled with anorexia for years now, I feel insanely upset and jealous whenever I see weight loss videos. It's a horrible mental struggle when people just existing sets you off. But that doesn't mean you have the right to lash out like this. Your triggers are for yourself to handle in an ethical and safe way. The fat acceptance movement is so happy to negate the struggles of restrictive eds and reduce body dysmoprhia to fatphobia, and yet people in the movement post tiktoks like this? Are you fucking kidding me?
Right, they’re issues that you have to deal with yourself (possibly with help, such as working with a therapist). The other person isn’t the cause of your issues being triggered. For example, when I was starting therapy, I felt like my anxiety and depression, that I had recently been diagnosed with, had caused my ex-friend’s depression to come back. My therapist told me that it didn’t. If her depression came back, that was her issue to deal with. I was dealing with mine and being in a low period; I didn’t purposely do anything to cause my ex-friend’s depression to come back. I had initially thought that my on and off funk was actually too small to be anxiety and depression, partly because it wasn’t the stereotypical textbook kind. Turns out it wasn’t too small. And looking back, I think my childhood shyness was actually anxiety as well, especially with being afraid of my teachers and my bad habit of chewing the insides of my mouth started in either first or second grade.
This!! I went to treatment and ended up just not taking my phone with me because I was getting so triggered and jealous that other people could lose weight and here I was being forced to eat and gain weight 😂😅 It’s definitely a choice whether or not youre exposed to videos that trigger you when you’re in a vulnerable place - she needs to get off the internet and work on herself
@@macytorroIf you're still underweight... Try drinking heavy cream and whole milk if you can tolerate dairy. I was underweight, and I told my nutritionist that I'm already eating as much as I could tolerate... So, he suggested drinking calories through drinking milk and cream half and half... Two cups per day. It worked like a charm... It worked so well I had to cut it out because I was getting fat. So, now I just bring it back anytime I hit the low number on the BMI healthy range (for my height is 135)
@@speedyllama8380 I dont think this is a good strategy for people battling anorexia. the reason they struggle with gaining weight is because they have a bad relationship with food and are currently struggling with their body image. forcing yourself to gain weight through tricking yourself in that state of mind feels like a recipe for disaster. People with ED know how to gain weight, but its a very complex situation
As someone with PTSD, if you're getting triggered by something that is normal in society, you have to not expose yourself to things that will trigger you. And if tik tok is triggering you have to get off TikTok which is what I did.
I have CPTSD. I would watch hours and hours of crime videos of the most evil crimes. Each time, I would feel depressed afterwards and sometimes spiral and just cry nonstop. My therapist told me that constantly watching those types of videos is a form of self harm. Over time, I have cut back by like 85%. If TikTok is harming self esteem then yes, leave the app.
i think learning how to manage ptsd symptoms takes a lot of growth. imo the disorder itself already makes you feel like you've lost control and makes you feel powerless. so having to the deal with the reality that you will NEVER be able to totally control your environment is pretty hard. tl;dr I hope these ppl learn how to take care of themselves, gtfos from tiktok and do something more fun instead. personally I write comedy anime fanfic to manage my symptoms so maybe there's something for everyone :)
CPTSD here due to the passing of my 25 year old, only child, passing suddenly two years ago. The year prior I had developed a tool for the company I worked for that saved $14 million in six months. Now, I'm doing word searches to help me to remember words. I have to hold the word in my mind and look for it at the same time. So, yeah, fuck you, you fat btards. Get off the internet and be a part of the real world. You might find out that you are just fat, lazy and greedy while other people have real problems. I'm stopping now because I've triggered myself.
Wait hold up. So splotmaker can say "I don't hangout with skinny people" and it's because of her oppression, but then when someone who's skinny says "I don't want to hangout with fat people" ITS EUGENICS?! Excuse me, twhat?!
Although I agree with you in this situation that what that person said was very problematic and unfair- I don’t think the whole vice versa argument is logically sound. Different genders, races, religions, body types, sexualities, etc have historically been treated very differently. It’s not as easy as “why can x do this but y can’t.”
@@Natnat994 ...did you watch the girls entire video? She literally said she wanted to be around people who made healthy decisions and isn't lazy, what exactly is wrong with that? I personally don't think she said anything wrong at all, as someone who has been morbidly obese and extremely underweight.
Maybe I worded that weirdly- I completely agree with you. I was just pointing out the part when you said “why is it okay for this person to say this but if a skinny person said the same it’s eugenics”. That’s not the best logic because different types of people have been treated differently in a historical context- so sometimes it is okay for some groups to be able to say and do things that may seem more problematic if a different group said or did the exact same thing. BUT I agree with you that saying you don’t want to be around people just because they are smaller or healthier is actually problematic.
@@Natnat994 what was said that was very problematic and unfair then? I'm confused. I get what you're saying about my comment, but what was the problematic thing said, cuz I assumed when you said that you were talking about the "I don't want to hangout with fat people" comment Also, I don't agree that saying you don't want to hangout with someone is problematic, ive been saying the complete opposite.
@@Natnat994 There is no group that hasn’t faced some sort of discrimination. It’s just a matter of getting educated. Edit: Not all forms of discrimination is on the same level. Losing weight is NOT eugenics, and it’s a slap to the face of groups that ACTUALLY dealt with that.
The fact that some people think being harassed online is oppression is beyond me. I've been harasses online for liking kpop. Are kpop fans oppressed? WTF??!? 💀💀
Right???? Like, fuck the people sending them hate, but online harassment isn't even close to true oppression. Do fat people get murdered for being fat? Do fat people have to fear for their physical safety depending on where they are and who's around? THAT'S oppression.
@@jovanaavramovic2485 This is something I wish people would understand better. I saw a woman get blasted online all because she wanted to remove the logo off her fridge. There is nothing you can do to avoid hate online, no matter who you are or what you do. So you either learn to handle it or log off.
Former ICU nurse here. It’s not so much oppression or medical gatekeeping, as the surgeon wanting one to survive. NOT observing legitimate safety risks is more oppressive.
My mom is an ER nurse. She has been injured several times by people who are too big and refuse to do anything for their health or themselves. It makes me mad. When you body your choice hurts someone else, it’s unethical. And I don’t mean 200lbs people.
26:14 as a biologist, these were the exact words that came out of my mouth, as well. Being fat is not intrinsic to most cultures/religions, being fat is not solely genetic, being fat is something that can be changed with lifestyle choices, and not wanting to date someone due to preferences is in no way similar to the organized eradication of a group of people.
One of my pet peeves is when fat acceptance people say children (themselves or other hypothetical children) are loosing their childhood to diet culture or weight loss related things. My little sister is morbidly obese bc her dad and his family believe “you’re not happy if you’re hungry” she’s had to get surgery done on her knees, she’s loosing her eyesight, she can’t play with her friends bc she can’t keep up, that’s what loosing a childhood looks like to me. My mom has also been morbidly obese my whole life so she acknowledged my little sister needs help she just doesn’t know how to help. My little sister used to be a firecracker, running around playing all the time. You couldn’t get her to stop moving, it kills me seeing her how she is but I also don’t know how to help. I was on my way to being obese but I lost a lot of weight due to depression and while it wasn’t healthy it was a reset for me to get my shit together in a healthy way. My little brother is also in the same path as my little sister and he used to be the same, you couldn’t keep him still. My sister isn’t even 14 and she’s had all theses problems my brother isn’t even 10 and he can’t play for too long before having to sit down. That’s what loosing a childhood experience looks like
@@tessmoffett5512 there’s not much I can do to help bc I’ve moved out for school and work but my mom is learning how to help them. Ive been trying to find sources for my mom to look at so she can know she has options to how they all should eat and how they should move I just don’t know where to look
@@sleepygrle6738 theres something called the food pyramid on safefood which might help… it has recommended food intake for each day and symbolises how a balance is good for a healthy diet!
Being overweight as a young girl cut my childhood short because it caused me to start puberty too early (I was still in elementary school when I started and was one of the first along with a few other overweight and obese girls in my grade). It caused me to have a life of body image issues, mental illness, stunted height, as well as an increased risk for ovarian cancer and breast cancer.
Some people have the wrong idea that a fat child is a well fed child and that a well fed child is happy and healthy but of course, too fat isn't healthy.
The worst thing about the fat positive people is that they try to manipulate others saying things like “good people will agree with me” and stuff. I think that’s what pisses me the most
Also that some of them have a "cute and quirky" style which in away seem to be designed to cater to young people. Which can make sense if the topic is about confidence which adolescent people often struggle with (in all sizes) but it's not good when promoting almost a paranoid take on the world, esp. when it comes to health care and the prerequisites for a wide range of illnesses and the treatments of them. Smokers are typically also required to make a lifestyle change for various surgeries. And if a doctor brings it up when not there is an unrelated condition or issue, like say an infection from a splinter or such, it is typically not from an ill-spirited place but because they are very aware of issues that will come with joint problems, risk of diabetes, issues with kidneys.
When I was larger I was so mentally weak. I got into fighting sports and lost a bunch of weight. The discipline paired with just being healthier was like a brain reprogramming. It was the best thing I ever did for myself.
I'm a former fat girl, and their hate doesn't bother me one bit. It's just because we remind them of what they could be/want to be. It's not personal. The self-loathing is so apparent, even though they try to hide it behind a mask of confidence. Just makes me want to save them from themselves, but unfortunately only the individual in question can do that.
Oh my goodness that fat fab feminist girl on Twitter posted what she says should be the new standard sizing chart for the US since people have gotten bigger and let me tell youuu. I am not considering myself a size 4XS for being a current size 8. Idk for the first time I actually feel like they’re trying to normalize obesity by changing the sizing scale so drastically and I’ve never felt that way. I’m sorry but a size 18/20 shouldn’t be a medium even if that’s where the average US woman falls. It just means as a society the US has a problem and we need to start fixing it.
Also it feels like they’re just doing the same thing they do to superfat/infinifat people to skinny/midsized people. They don’t want to be a 4X so they made themselves a medium or large and now we’re all 6XS and 4XS or even lower idk how low can it go??
The sizes have already drastically changed. I couldn't fit a size 4 to save my life as a super lean teen, and now I have size 4 fat pants as a middle aged woman who considerably bigger. What was size 0 is now 000. Plus, everything is cut for fat people, so smaller sizes have weird baggs under the arms because people fond get uniformly bigger when they they fat.
I saw that too and I was really confused, because in my opinion if you are so confident within your body why does the size extra large, 1X, 2x, 3x, make you so upset that you rather be called a medium? If you're so confident why does a tag number affect you that much that you have to make it smaller to appeal to you? If seeing a size medium in your clothes and makes you feel better about yourself, then maybe you're not the fat activist I thought you were.
The first one made me really sad for her… I look at someone crying like that over the TikTok algorithm and I’m like “oh, honey… please put the phone down. I won’t even say something like ‘go outside’ or ‘touch grass,’ just go do something in the physical world that you enjoy! For me it’s pottery. For you it could be something else, but like… go do it. I know the pandemic robbed us of the outside world for a little while, but we have it back now, so just step away from TikTok for a little while and go experience it.”
The first one was actually really sad. I don’t even know what to say because usually I’d just be like “stop bringing down others” but here she’s legit breaking down.
Hell, she doesn't even need to put the phone down. Losing oneself down a Wikipedia or TV Tropes rabbit hole would also be fine. Read an ebook, listen to a podcast, play a phone game, hell, watch TH-cam. Maybe log out first, so that your previous browsing history doesn't influence what you see. I do understand it's slightly more likely for you to fall back into your social media poison of choice if you stay on the phone. But it's still a valid option.
I rolled my eyes straight out of my head at the eugenics part. How does being sterilised against their will equate to people not wanting to hang out with you?
I really hate when people use extreme word and words with heavy meanings and history to talk about day to day stuff. Sometimes bad things happen and they're unfair, mean, bullying, prejudice, annoying, frustrating. And that's it. Not everything is opression, eugenics, normalization, glorification, etc. Using these extreme words just makes their argument go from a valid point of reflection to an absurd and ridiculous comparison no one can take seriously.
I hope that first person gets help and can heal emotionally. In my experience, that kind of jealousy and pain at someone else's success comes from a place of deep self loathing. The presence or absence of fat isn't a measure of anyone's worth, but people absolutely should be able to be proud of their journey without it being a statement on anyone else.
Obese people being denied surgeries is not a matter of oppression. It's a safety matter that doctors have to consider when deciding whether to perform surgery on any patient. If the patient is so obese that her life is at risk during the surgery, then any reputable doctor is not going to perform such surgery
26:25 English isn't my first language and this was the first time I have actually heard the definition of eugenics. My jaw literally dropped and I just had to sit down for a few minutes. How on Earth can someone compare these things...
This might be weird but I love when ppl say “English isn’t my first language”. It makes me happy for some reason, esp when I see/hear that their English is very good
I live in Germany, and boy, with the history this country has, I get a special kind of annoyed when someone dares to use N!zi vocab like that without informing themselves first. I've seen nameplates of eugenics victims with my own eyes, people who died from this. nothing in the western world today is like that, period. (Not directed at you ofc but at the tiktok)
The whole being denied surgery = opression/ fatphobia thing boils my blood. It's like no...they're denying it to you for your SAFTY because your body wouldn't cope well. Do they seriously think doctors and medical professionals care about their appearance/ what they eat/ how they present themselves outside of medical/ health risks? These people live in a bubble.
@@horizonkyun7203fr. I gotta disagree with op here. There IS rampant fatphobia in the medical field and it can sometimes leech into surgeries and even medication prescribed.
@@ghoultoothThere is fatphobia in medicine, but if you are morbidly obese you are also exponentially more likely to die on the operating table. It makes sense for surgeons to deny surgery to people who are less likely to survive due to their lifestyle choices. You are also more likely to be denied if you are a smoker.
Right?? That made me so angry. Fat (like actual fat cells) can interfere with anesthesia. Cutting through fat increases complications. Surgery even on a straight sized person can cause issues, but when you have that much fat, yea. There can be complications. And I've experienced medical bias before, but definitely moreso for being a woman. My bipolar disorder for *years* was blamed on hormones from getting my periods.
“Stop focusing on your body. You’ll feel free”, and they say they don’t have privileges… When you have several illnesses bc of how overweight you are, it’s almost impossible to do bc it feels like your days are counted.
I'm a mid-sized woman (my BMI is less than 25) but I have big breast; if I wore the same thing as a regular woman, I would be slutshamed, a lot of men slept with me as a joke and I make my own clothes because I can't find them in regular shops but I would NEVER dare to say that I'm oppressed
The one from splotchmaker about "grieving the life diet culture sold you" actually made a lot of sense to me because when I was first introduced to fat acceptance (I got out btw lol) it was through a misleading article that spread the rhetoric that dieting was only harmful, and any attempts at weight loss would only fail or result in even more weight gain - and I literally cried after reading it because I had always wanted to lose weight, and in that moment I felt like that goal/dream was "dying" - if that makes sense? went on to lose the weight and have kept it off for over a year and a half, but my teenage self who was told weight loss was futile and fatphobic was definitely encouraged to "grieve" all hope of losing weight
No matter what, we ALL have imaginary selves that get incredible things accomplished every day and do interesting stuff like crafts, travel, adventure, exercise, arts, that we don't currently do. Oh, and the house is always clean! Dealing with the mismatch between what you WANT to do and what's realistic is an important part of life! Setting realistic priorities, etc.
@@inkompetenzkompensationsko4188 take a screen shot, it was very well said. they call this your ideal self. and theres always a gap between who we are and who we want to be, which can be both motivating and demoralizing
ALSO! not every diet is a weight loss diet. sometimes it's to help other issues and if you hear someone talking about their diet and think "oh they obviously hate themselves" that is MASSIVELY judgemental and, by extension, hypocritical
As someone who is forced by medical issues to have a really weird diet, I feel this. In my case, I'm encouraged to consume a lot of sodium due to issues with low blood pressure. Which is actually harder than you'd think to pull off, because most food companies have been cutting back on sodium content. And it's obviously a huge pain to get anything resembling a "healthy" or low calorie cracker or chip that also has high sodium. If I knew a good way of making them myself, I probably would, TBH.
I love your videos specifically because you're not gonna laugh at fat people dancing around, lounging in their underwear/swimwear, or otherwise just living life. Thanks for this and all of your other content!
Your girlfriends voice floating out of nowhere in the eugenics part was so good I thought it was an intentional voice over 😂 hola to gf thanks for hilarious guest appearance!!
I hope you are proud of all the hard work you have been doing! It must feel so great mentally to achieve goals you set your mind to and stay motivated on goals!:) I can have a hard time sticking to goals I set for myself, but I never feel prouder than when I stick it out through hard changes and see progress on my goals❤ wish u nothing but the best, and I hope you are congratulating yourself everyday❤❤
I feel enormous sadness and compassion when I look at old pics. Because I know how much pain she was in and how sick she was. I was dying when I was at my peak weight. Had a terminal diagnosis and I was just waiting for the hurt to end. Throw in and I'd lost my only son about a year prior, and I was done with this life. The only reason I didn't dip out is that I couldn't do that to my family. When I figured out what my body needed, the response was immediate and SO very good. My energy came up, my brain cleared, the pain dialed back. And the weight began to drop. FAST. I was eating MUCH more than I was before, but my body was finally working. I dropped 100 pounds in ten months. For me, fat = sick. Healthy = muscle, lightness of being, free movement without agony. And yes, Megan is right. You don't feel different in many ways. When I was down 70 pounds, I couldn't see it. Yes, I felt better, but that had nothing to do with my weight. My daughter finally got fed up and had me do a little experiment. She had me put on two backpacks, one normally and the other on the front, then she gradually loaded them up with weights until they were 70 pounds. I was in shock. That weight was significant. That's when it dawned on me that I'd been carrying that weight every time I went to the bathroom. I'd been lifting that weight every time I rose from the toilet seat. I was walking with that weight, pulling that weight out of the bathtub, carrying that weight up stairs. When I hit the 100 pound mark, she did the weight thing again, then sprung another surprise on me. She'd been saving some 'before' pics that I forgot I'd even taken. She took two afters, then let me see them side by side. INSANE difference. a People who LET this happen scare the hell out of me. They have no idea how bad their health can get. Take care of your body, people. It's going to fail at some point - you are mortal - but you can hasten this process. And believe me, you don't want that.
I reading an interesting take on why people who lost weight don't want to hang out with fat people: basically, the person was saying that it would be like a recovered alcoholic refusing to have alcohol around, it would trigger the addiction.
@@shirin9452 it’s the food choices as unhealthy eaters will try to make you do the same and if the person is on a weight loss journey food temptation is already a issue they’re dealing with
I think the frustrating thing about the girl getting her hair/nails done who said "leave it at home" is that it doesn't seem like she asked the salon worker to change the subject. Instead she went home to rant online. I could be wrong, but it takes more effort to ask for something to someone's face instead of adding things to the tik tok void. People can't read minds.
If they truly loved there body's they would not get triggered by other people's bodies because when you truly love yourself, you don't care that much about what other people look like and think.
I really feel for the person in the first video, but I think nowadays we all feel like we have to be on the internet/social media in some way. And maybe if we can't avoid the things that really upset or trigger us, for our mental health, it might be better to remove the risk and just delete the apps. You get control back then over the risk of seeing things that really upset you in that way, I've deleted my social media and feel way better for it. Anyway, thank you for your video 😁
That last one, the thin lady, saying she won't be associated with fat people, I don't care how pretty she thinks she is, how hard she works or whatever. If she choses her friends by looks, she'll end up having zero friends. I would try to inspire my bigger friends to go with me to the gym and with some we have fallen out when I started to focus on my body, but it's because I have less time for them and don't eat out, don't socially drink anymore and we just don't spend as much time together. I would never consider them to be bad people because they made a different choice. And I would never dissociate from someone because of how they look. That's beyond shallow.
my friend has an immune disorder so she eats a gluten free diet to reduce inflammation. she has already heard comments when she orders food “without the bun.” of people assuming she’s trying to lose weight. not all diets are for that purpose
As a medical student, medical gatekeeping is kind of a thing. I have heard GPs admit that they postpone treatment based on weight as they believe feeling unwell will mean patients are more motivated to lose weight. Until that moment, i thought the one doctor who'd told me not receiving treatment for my joint pain should "motivate me to work harder at losing weight" was the rogue element, not industry standard. I've also had an orthopaedic doctor refuse to even scan my hip to see what was wrong because "we wouldn't treat someone your size anyway". Of course doctors shouldn't do procedures when its unsafe, but as a medical student, I'm starting to see just how often it is just discrimination.
I think the "dieting=self-hatred" rhetoric is also very dangerous for people with restrictive ED's. It just gives the message that there is no healthy way to lose weight, and if there's no healthy way to lose weight, then there's no point in even trying. Extremely dangerous.
I'm not going to lie that last girl was really mean, she gave off really mean girl energy very elitist energy very Pearl energy. And I would not be that girl's friend just because of the way she talks about people I think it's gross. But splatchmaker then calling that eugenics only proves that so many people in the FA community have no idea the actual definition of eugenics, And they throw that word around so much, and it's concerning how easily it slips off their tongue without them actually realizing what they're saying. It's disturbing and weird.
I'm not the one to leave comments ever buuuut I really appreciate you and it makes me so calm and settled watching your videos. You share just as much empathy as you do criticize those topics and it's refreshing to hear both sides from someone who experienced both spectrums. I send you all the love and appreciation for that❤
That first video "almost kind of sounds like projection"? It IS projection. She literally said "that was a human being. I am a human being" as if somehow she is anyone else when they were fat. Like what? Its sad she thinks this way, but its even sadder that until she realizes the world isnt against her, shes gonna keep herself miserable.
Hi Megan - standard body size person here & new to your channel. Really appreciate you spelling out your "purpose" around the 13-13:20 mark because it really helped me see where you're coming from (prevention of teens being misled about weight by social movements) and enjoyed your note about critical thinking. Great content!
There are definitely lots of plus size clothing manufacturers these days. I even see plus size children clothes, which honestly I think it is pretty sad. I'm glad that they can have clothes that fit them, but it is really sad that you know a five-year-old or a seven-year-old needs plus size clothing
Fun fact- America used to be really into eugenics and a lot of Americans actually liked the German ww2 pov up until we actually got involved. Look into the history of the Kellogg cereal guy lol. Wild to think how the US was just 80 years ago.
21:25 they are more expensive because they take more fabric and take longer to sew, so therefore, more labor. More exploited labor, but I guess social justice only matters in the high income OECD countries. Anyone who sews will know this right off the bat, if you have so many “thoughts and feelings” about it, go sew a “straight sized” pencil skirt, then a “straight sized” circle skirt, and deal with navigating all that excess fabric. You’d be rethinking any objection to the cost.
I felt it so hard when you said you had to shop in the women's section at 12. My mom would make me shop in the women's section Because she said the junior sizes weren't big enough (they were). So yeah I dressed like a mom for a year until I told her I wasn't shopping in women's anymore haha. She'd also comment on my weight at the drs office. Shocker I dabbled in disordered eating as a teen, and I don't mean I tried a normal diet either.
Lordy! People forget they have a Stop/Power off button on their phones and TVs. They are bringing all of this drama into their own lives and refuse to take responsibility or are maybe too far gone to even see it. What I notice is that most of these people are young and think they're invincible or only care about making a statement. I seriously want to see them sit across from a true disabled person or victim and swap life stories. It's so disrespectful to bring up eugenics in this situation. And obviously the one girl has no idea what it even is. If these mindsets are any indication of our future, we are all in trouble! But at the same time a huge part of me seriously wants to give them a hug.
You mentioned something about triggers and basically acknowledging tik tok might have them and i wholeheartedly agree. I’ve been struggling with certain things triggering me, but I don’t understand lashing out online over it. I love your videos and you have opened my perspective
Is there nothing that is private anymore? I just can't even imagine posting my own mental breakdown online, especially when it's about something as ridiculous as this.
As someone who has lost a lot of weight I completely understand what the last girl said because people you hang out with can change things you do and I don't want to slip back into the cycle I wouldn't not be someone's friends because they're fat. But I probably wouldn't want to go out to eat with them and stuff because then I'd be more lenient and then I'd want to eat like them and everything and it really pushes your discipline. But yeah putting that towards eugenics is absolutely disgusting. Also it's very important if you are really into something like a healthy lifestyle like working out dating someone who's into the same things as you because if you're a gym rat and you're dating the couch potato you guys don't have similar interests and it'll probably be negative in the long end if one of you doesn't change but why do you expect the other person to change. Ugh these people are ridiculous
i feel bad for doctors who have to deal with the FA community who refuse to take medical advice and those same people keep going back, like what do u want doctors to do if u don't follow their advice lol????
LOTS of people blow off diet and lifestyle interventions, including skinny people! And others won't refill prescriptions no matter how much they need them!
@@toomanymarys7355 ok, and??? 😂 we're discussing the FA community here where one of the ways to help their problems IS TO LOSE WEIGHT AND EAT HEALTHY yet they refuse to make those changes lol
As someone who has family members in the medical field. It (according to them) is frustrating but most have accepted and become numb to it and acknowledge medical autonomy.
I’m skeptical of FatFabFeminist’s claims about “how good it feels not to think about your body all the time,” because she clearly has no experience with that.
I was almost 400 pounds but got gastric back in oct 2021 and so far lost 150 pounds. Honestly, I did it because of health since I had Ac1 of 12, type 2 diabetes, high blood pressure, pain, etc etc was on ALOT of different medications. But honestly these people on tiktok make me scared to even show my transformation and I want to be proud but scared of the backlash from fat acceptance community. I don't bash on overweight or underweight people, it's learning to love yourself... I understand alot of them when they talk about doctors because for over 10 years doctors said I had pain from my weight but now it turned out I had 2 bulging disk in my c4-c6 pressing against a nerve. I just wish they would stop bashing on people's image on both sides and learn positivity of being kind to others. Thank you for this video
Congratulations 🥳 that’s awesome! Don’t be scared to show your transformation because of a select few! Whenever I see weight loss videos, the comments are always super supportive and positive! They are not the majority
As a person who recovered from a restrictive ED that almost took my life when I was younger, I can sympathize up to a point with fat acceptance. I think it's very important to love your body regardless of size, and diet culture can be deadly. My ED gave me a very unhealthy mindset, and the last thing I'd want is for others to go through the same thing. However, there is a huge difference between starving yourself and making healthy changes because you want to feel better (inside and out). I think a person's mindset is the most important thing when approaching these things. I do believe that if weight loss is needed, it should be done out of self love, not hate. Something a lot of these fat acceptance people don't seem to get.
Honestly, the biggest thing I don't get about being angry when things that you do not like show up on your social media is that they never acknowledge their responsibility in the matter. If being on Tik Tok or the internet causes you a break down like the first clip-- why does no one ever talk about taking a break from the damn apps? Why is the answer to come after other people 'just existing' on the internet too? Social media is also an addiction just like food is for some. Why is getting off your phone and doing some self reflection not an option at allllllll?! If you have enough self-accountability to quit at least one at a time, a lot might improve in these people's mental health.
If you need to tell yourself over and over "I don't need to lose weight to feel valid", you probably do. Not all people need to do that, some people just feel valid and that's it, but if you have to repeat it to yourself and it never sticks - you do. And I don't see a problem with changing your body to be able to love yourself.
I mean, most people with restrictive EDs feel a need to lose weight to feel their ED is valid and have it respected by others. The feeling itself doesn't mean it's true. I don't see a problem with changing your body to love yourself either, to be clear!
@@cassimerehorsington448 I think as long as the weight loss is healthy and the body you're pursuing is healthy, there's nothing wrong with that. It baffles me that somehow inflating, draining and numbing your face with needles and chemicals is A-ok, but losing weight and working out is "unhealthy".
For me it's definitely this, like I'm at a point where I'm like "OK well I don't see myself as a fat person how long am I going to continue on with this body type?" And starting to work out is a way more validating experience than trying to get into body positivity ever was
26:40 as a Jewish person, it makes my blood boil when people just bring up eugenics so effortlessly and carelessly because nothing can be compared to eugenics other than eugenics itself
I lost a huge amount of weight and I post my before and after pictures to motivate people and because I am proud of Myself as I work my ass off! It’s triggering for the fat positive community because instead of doing the work, they create a community to accept their unhealthy lifestyle. So seeing before and after show them what they could have if they were making the effort 🤷🏻♀️ I will never apologize or feel bad for my hard work and my weight loss 🤷🏻♀️🍻
Im all for loving yourself as you were, not just as you are, but sobbing openly on a public platform about other people posting progress pics is not the way to spread that message
I’m so sick of the popularization of projecting self hatred onto everyone and everything. The constant barrage of “here’s how you’re a victim, everyone hates you and there’s nothing you can do” from every angle is creating nothing but neurotics who can’t function.
There are many feelings that are invalid and wrong. And many that you would invalidate. If a narcissistic parent wants to control and impose on a child for their whole lives, their feelings of deserving it are wrong. If your best friend starts a romantic relationship with your spouse, they are wrong. If a child throws a fit because they can't have candy for dinner, they are wrong.
I felt for the first girl. I suffer from OCD and anxiety issues and social media has been a terrible trigger when I've been at my lowest. I've learned to log off and touch some grass when I needed it because SM can be really unhelpful. I feel that a lot of the discomfort people feel comes from being online too much.
I went to her Tiktok and the first thing I seen was someone stitch her and try to explain (which is completely fine). The thing that pissed me off tho was the person saying “this all started with slavery”…. Like Omfg stop fucking bringing black people into this because let’s be real, it’s being used as a tool of guilt. It’s so frustrating.
I don't want to compare being underweight to being overweight, because both have different struggles, but when I was severely underweight before recovery, I was 100% hooked up with 'as an inside joke', and for guys to experiment being with someone a lot frailer and smaller than them (for various scary and odd reasons), guys will find any reason to treat a girl like a joke to their friends no matter what size they are, that bit really got to me, thats the fault of the person choosing to hook up with you for a spiteful reason, not the fault of skinny people!
If you are overweight, it is your doctor's JOB to tell you if you're sick. If they are having to take multiple trips to the Dr due to their weight that means they are at a higher risk
I honestly don’t understand why people are so mad at the girl in 23:15 She brings up valid points at setting boundaries on who she should be associated with. It’s very important to not surround yourself with a bad crowd because their mentality will spread and affect you for life. Sure, I felt like she could have worded her argument better but the one thing I have some respect for her is she wants to promote the mindset of “becoming the best version of yourself” because it’s an important message about how you shouldn’t be so stuck in your past and learn to grow from that point. I don’t know, I find it wild that she is setting a healthy boundary and people somehow pick apart certain parts of her words and making it seem like she’s a bad person because of wanting to distance herself from a group with a very negative and destructive mindsets.
frrr i have a past of binge eating and i may not want to associate with overweight people who eat fast food 24/7 because that’s what led me to gain weight in the first place
it’s the same as how recovering addicts may not associate with old friends who get high every weekend bc they wna get clean and likely don’t wna go back to a bad place yk
When I went into weight loss it was definitely an act of self hatred and it didn’t work. I didn’t start seeing progress until I was kind to myself and started wanting to improve my health and mobility, after that the motivation was just there in a way it wasn’t before
I have had some very serious situations the past few years, both medical and personal. I don't like to share what's going on with me bc it looks like a laundry list of complaints and excuses, and that's not what I'm going for. My reason for sharing this now is I've become more aware of people making things about them so they have a reason to be upset I don't go on social media bc it is curated to make people feel bad The girl was complaining about their For You page not being exactly what they want it to be I empathize with the feelings behind it but it sounds so dumb when you break it down
20:23 I think the problem is that a lot of fat acceptance creators conflate inconveniences with oppression. For something to be oppressive, it needs to be systemic in nature. It means you're being denied justice by an authority. I do believe fat creators when they say there are cases in which fat people are unjustly denied medical care, or receive subpar medical care, because of their size. That probably happens, and depending on context, that could be considered oppressive. However, having limited clothing options, or not fitting in an airline seat, or getting made fun of by random people online, are not examples of oppression. They don't exist in the same ballpark lol.
I understand how before and after pictures might be triggering to some people. Clearly. Maybe someone with an ed or someone who just feels bad about themselves when seeing results like that. But how is that anyone else's problem but yours? How is going online to complain about YOUR algorithm showing you triggering videos anyone else's fault? Instead of logging off or quickly scrolling on to push on with their day, they think the only other option is to force others to stop making the videos. I'm so tired of people trying to change how everyone else exists instead of fixing themselves or dealing with their own problems. I guess it's easier to blame the world instead of putting in the work and taking accountability for yourself.
The first video is the equivalent of panic sobbing in the shower. The emotional response should exist solely in private, with a loved one, or in a therapists office
The fact that she said “that was a human being….I’m a human being” proves just how personal these people are taking those comments about other peoples bodies. If someone posts a transformation pic, they wouldn’t even know who this person with blue hair, and yet this lady is taking strangers comments and making them about her. It’s insane! If she’s happy and positive about her body, it shouldn’t matter what other people have to say because she is secure in her own skin. Clearly, this is all a facade
Nah I don’t think we need to hide ourselves (what OOP is saying) or our emotions from anyone outside of maybe a professional setting
Therapist would be the best, wish they were more affordable.
It sounds like she has some deeper issues. It's sad how personally she takes it.
@@bd1043Yes. They take generalizations as personal attacks. When they are not.
Also like we are ALL humans.
That first video is really troubling to me that she was so upset over other people’s posts. It doesn’t seem good or healthy.
"How many times do I have to report these videos and say not interested?" That phrase alone screams to me that people need to learn to get off of the internet if they react so strongly to the body transformation videos of others. Social media is not there to nourish people's mental health and protect people's emotions; the business model often does the exact opposite. I think that people need to learn to realize at what point being on social media is detrimental to them and/or they are not in a good headspace to be on social media.
@@samanthaecotothermia7896 Besides, it’s clear that what she consumes on tiktok are things related to fitness industry (even if it’s hate against it), fat acceptance, diet culture, etc…. She’ll see things related to it. Why is she so shocked?
I agree
@@samanthaecotothermia7896 well said
I mean, it's obvious she identifies with the "before" pic ("your fat self was a human being, i am a human being") and links her own worth to body size (" you should not have to shrink yourself to have value") and it really hurts my heart because she's right, we all are worthy regardless of size and we all are human beings but as far as i know, nobody denies that. The fact that she was so hurt and projected (imo) so much of her own issues to the other person just makes me sad. I don't want to imagine whats going on in her mind, i really hope she has a safe person to work through that.
The first tiktok made me both sympathise and rage. As someone who has struggled with anorexia for years now, I feel insanely upset and jealous whenever I see weight loss videos. It's a horrible mental struggle when people just existing sets you off. But that doesn't mean you have the right to lash out like this. Your triggers are for yourself to handle in an ethical and safe way. The fat acceptance movement is so happy to negate the struggles of restrictive eds and reduce body dysmoprhia to fatphobia, and yet people in the movement post tiktoks like this? Are you fucking kidding me?
Right, they’re issues that you have to deal with yourself (possibly with help, such as working with a therapist). The other person isn’t the cause of your issues being triggered.
For example, when I was starting therapy, I felt like my anxiety and depression, that I had recently been diagnosed with, had caused my ex-friend’s depression to come back. My therapist told me that it didn’t. If her depression came back, that was her issue to deal with. I was dealing with mine and being in a low period; I didn’t purposely do anything to cause my ex-friend’s depression to come back. I had initially thought that my on and off funk was actually too small to be anxiety and depression, partly because it wasn’t the stereotypical textbook kind. Turns out it wasn’t too small. And looking back, I think my childhood shyness was actually anxiety as well, especially with being afraid of my teachers and my bad habit of chewing the insides of my mouth started in either first or second grade.
This!! I went to treatment and ended up just not taking my phone with me because I was getting so triggered and jealous that other people could lose weight and here I was being forced to eat and gain weight 😂😅
It’s definitely a choice whether or not youre exposed to videos that trigger you when you’re in a vulnerable place - she needs to get off the internet and work on herself
I love watching big people turn into small people, and I also love watching underweight people get bigger.
@@macytorroIf you're still underweight... Try drinking heavy cream and whole milk if you can tolerate dairy.
I was underweight, and I told my nutritionist that I'm already eating as much as I could tolerate... So, he suggested drinking calories through drinking milk and cream half and half... Two cups per day.
It worked like a charm... It worked so well I had to cut it out because I was getting fat. So, now I just bring it back anytime I hit the low number on the BMI healthy range (for my height is 135)
@@speedyllama8380 I dont think this is a good strategy for people battling anorexia. the reason they struggle with gaining weight is because they have a bad relationship with food and are currently struggling with their body image. forcing yourself to gain weight through tricking yourself in that state of mind feels like a recipe for disaster.
People with ED know how to gain weight, but its a very complex situation
"I don't spend any time thinking about my body....I just make tiktoks about my body several times a day every single day"
As someone with PTSD, if you're getting triggered by something that is normal in society, you have to not expose yourself to things that will trigger you. And if tik tok is triggering you have to get off TikTok which is what I did.
I have CPTSD. I would watch hours and hours of crime videos of the most evil crimes. Each time, I would feel depressed afterwards and sometimes spiral and just cry nonstop. My therapist told me that constantly watching those types of videos is a form of self harm. Over time, I have cut back by like 85%.
If TikTok is harming self esteem then yes, leave the app.
i think learning how to manage ptsd symptoms takes a lot of growth. imo the disorder itself already makes you feel like you've lost control and makes you feel powerless. so having to the deal with the reality that you will NEVER be able to totally control your environment is pretty hard.
tl;dr I hope these ppl learn how to take care of themselves, gtfos from tiktok and do something more fun instead. personally I write comedy anime fanfic to manage my symptoms so maybe there's something for everyone :)
@@myishenhaines1706 oh wow. I'm so sorry. Yes, it's definitely a form of self harm.
I also have ptsd and can spiral and consume content as a sort of sh
CPTSD here due to the passing of my 25 year old, only child, passing suddenly two years ago.
The year prior I had developed a tool for the company I worked for that saved $14 million in six months.
Now, I'm doing word searches to help me to remember words. I have to hold the word in my mind and look for it at the same time.
So, yeah, fuck you, you fat btards. Get off the internet and be a part of the real world. You might find out that you are just fat, lazy and greedy while other people have real problems.
I'm stopping now because I've triggered myself.
Wait hold up.
So splotmaker can say "I don't hangout with skinny people" and it's because of her oppression, but then when someone who's skinny says "I don't want to hangout with fat people" ITS EUGENICS?! Excuse me, twhat?!
Although I agree with you in this situation that what that person said was very problematic and unfair- I don’t think the whole vice versa argument is logically sound. Different genders, races, religions, body types, sexualities, etc have historically been treated very differently. It’s not as easy as “why can x do this but y can’t.”
@@Natnat994 ...did you watch the girls entire video? She literally said she wanted to be around people who made healthy decisions and isn't lazy, what exactly is wrong with that? I personally don't think she said anything wrong at all, as someone who has been morbidly obese and extremely underweight.
Maybe I worded that weirdly- I completely agree with you. I was just pointing out the part when you said “why is it okay for this person to say this but if a skinny person said the same it’s eugenics”. That’s not the best logic because different types of people have been treated differently in a historical context- so sometimes it is okay for some groups to be able to say and do things that may seem more problematic if a different group said or did the exact same thing. BUT I agree with you that saying you don’t want to be around people just because they are smaller or healthier is actually problematic.
@@Natnat994 what was said that was very problematic and unfair then? I'm confused. I get what you're saying about my comment, but what was the problematic thing said, cuz I assumed when you said that you were talking about the "I don't want to hangout with fat people" comment
Also, I don't agree that saying you don't want to hangout with someone is problematic, ive been saying the complete opposite.
@@Natnat994 There is no group that hasn’t faced some sort of discrimination. It’s just a matter of getting educated.
Edit: Not all forms of discrimination is on the same level. Losing weight is NOT eugenics, and it’s a slap to the face of groups that ACTUALLY dealt with that.
The fact that some people think being harassed online is oppression is beyond me. I've been harasses online for liking kpop. Are kpop fans oppressed? WTF??!? 💀💀
Right???? Like, fuck the people sending them hate, but online harassment isn't even close to true oppression. Do fat people get murdered for being fat? Do fat people have to fear for their physical safety depending on where they are and who's around? THAT'S oppression.
It's unpleasant to be harrassed but it is certainly not oppression.
Ahhh yes the most oppressed group in written history-
K-pop fans
everyone on the internet gets hate comments lmao
@@jovanaavramovic2485 This is something I wish people would understand better. I saw a woman get blasted online all because she wanted to remove the logo off her fridge. There is nothing you can do to avoid hate online, no matter who you are or what you do. So you either learn to handle it or log off.
Former ICU nurse here. It’s not so much oppression or medical gatekeeping, as the surgeon wanting one to survive. NOT observing legitimate safety risks is more oppressive.
My mom is an ER nurse. She has been injured several times by people who are too big and refuse to do anything for their health or themselves. It makes me mad. When you body your choice hurts someone else, it’s unethical. And I don’t mean 200lbs people.
These people forget triage and
Contraindication is a thing.
"Can you leave the self hatred at home?" You first, babe. Youuuuu first.
I love before and after photos. Weight loss, room makeovers, home remodels, deep cleaning/decluttering before and afters. Bring it all. Lol
26:14 as a biologist, these were the exact words that came out of my mouth, as well. Being fat is not intrinsic to most cultures/religions, being fat is not solely genetic, being fat is something that can be changed with lifestyle choices, and not wanting to date someone due to preferences is in no way similar to the organized eradication of a group of people.
One of my pet peeves is when fat acceptance people say children (themselves or other hypothetical children) are loosing their childhood to diet culture or weight loss related things. My little sister is morbidly obese bc her dad and his family believe “you’re not happy if you’re hungry” she’s had to get surgery done on her knees, she’s loosing her eyesight, she can’t play with her friends bc she can’t keep up, that’s what loosing a childhood looks like to me. My mom has also been morbidly obese my whole life so she acknowledged my little sister needs help she just doesn’t know how to help. My little sister used to be a firecracker, running around playing all the time. You couldn’t get her to stop moving, it kills me seeing her how she is but I also don’t know how to help. I was on my way to being obese but I lost a lot of weight due to depression and while it wasn’t healthy it was a reset for me to get my shit together in a healthy way. My little brother is also in the same path as my little sister and he used to be the same, you couldn’t keep him still. My sister isn’t even 14 and she’s had all theses problems my brother isn’t even 10 and he can’t play for too long before having to sit down. That’s what loosing a childhood experience looks like
This makes me terribly sad for your siblings. I’m glad you want to help them and I hope you can because they sound like they desperately need it.
@@tessmoffett5512 there’s not much I can do to help bc I’ve moved out for school and work but my mom is learning how to help them. Ive been trying to find sources for my mom to look at so she can know she has options to how they all should eat and how they should move I just don’t know where to look
@@sleepygrle6738 theres something called the food pyramid on safefood which might help… it has recommended food intake for each day and symbolises how a balance is good for a healthy diet!
Being overweight as a young girl cut my childhood short because it caused me to start puberty too early (I was still in elementary school when I started and was one of the first along with a few other overweight and obese girls in my grade). It caused me to have a life of body image issues, mental illness, stunted height, as well as an increased risk for ovarian cancer and breast cancer.
Some people have the wrong idea that a fat child is a well fed child and that a well fed child is happy and healthy but of course, too fat isn't healthy.
The worst thing about the fat positive people is that they try to manipulate others saying things like “good people will agree with me” and stuff. I think that’s what pisses me the most
Also that some of them have a "cute and quirky" style which in away seem to be designed to cater to young people. Which can make sense if the topic is about confidence which adolescent people often struggle with (in all sizes) but it's not good when promoting almost a paranoid take on the world, esp. when it comes to health care and the prerequisites for a wide range of illnesses and the treatments of them. Smokers are typically also required to make a lifestyle change for various surgeries.
And if a doctor brings it up when not there is an unrelated condition or issue, like say an infection from a splinter or such, it is typically not from an ill-spirited place but because they are very aware of issues that will come with joint problems, risk of diabetes, issues with kidneys.
When I was larger I was so mentally weak. I got into fighting sports and lost a bunch of weight. The discipline paired with just being healthier was like a brain reprogramming. It was the best thing I ever did for myself.
I'm a former fat girl, and their hate doesn't bother me one bit. It's just because we remind them of what they could be/want to be. It's not personal.
The self-loathing is so apparent, even though they try to hide it behind a mask of confidence. Just makes me want to save them from themselves, but unfortunately only the individual in question can do that.
Former fat people break their delusion that weightloss is impossible and their body is just destined to be big forever
Well said 😀
Congratulations on your weight loss.
"Ist okay to grieve thinness." = "Ist okay to just give up forever." Misery loves company.
I get the idea of a short term grieve, like if a friend moves away, but you realised you can adapt and then you stop grieving. It's not a death.
The pretty, white, blond girl crying about being oppressed and telling others to check their privilege is... WOW.
Oh my goodness that fat fab feminist girl on Twitter posted what she says should be the new standard sizing chart for the US since people have gotten bigger and let me tell youuu. I am not considering myself a size 4XS for being a current size 8. Idk for the first time I actually feel like they’re trying to normalize obesity by changing the sizing scale so drastically and I’ve never felt that way. I’m sorry but a size 18/20 shouldn’t be a medium even if that’s where the average US woman falls. It just means as a society the US has a problem and we need to start fixing it.
Also it feels like they’re just doing the same thing they do to superfat/infinifat people to skinny/midsized people. They don’t want to be a 4X so they made themselves a medium or large and now we’re all 6XS and 4XS or even lower idk how low can it go??
I agree 100%.
The sizes have already drastically changed. I couldn't fit a size 4 to save my life as a super lean teen, and now I have size 4 fat pants as a middle aged woman who considerably bigger. What was size 0 is now 000. Plus, everything is cut for fat people, so smaller sizes have weird baggs under the arms because people fond get uniformly bigger when they they fat.
@@toomanymarys7355 yeah I’ve seen that too. I used to always have to get large clothes when I was younger and now I fit smalls it’s very weird.
I saw that too and I was really confused, because in my opinion if you are so confident within your body why does the size extra large, 1X, 2x, 3x, make you so upset that you rather be called a medium? If you're so confident why does a tag number affect you that much that you have to make it smaller to appeal to you? If seeing a size medium in your clothes and makes you feel better about yourself, then maybe you're not the fat activist I thought you were.
The first one made me really sad for her… I look at someone crying like that over the TikTok algorithm and I’m like “oh, honey… please put the phone down. I won’t even say something like ‘go outside’ or ‘touch grass,’ just go do something in the physical world that you enjoy! For me it’s pottery. For you it could be something else, but like… go do it. I know the pandemic robbed us of the outside world for a little while, but we have it back now, so just step away from TikTok for a little while and go experience it.”
The first one was actually really sad. I don’t even know what to say because usually I’d just be like “stop bringing down others” but here she’s legit breaking down.
Hell, she doesn't even need to put the phone down. Losing oneself down a Wikipedia or TV Tropes rabbit hole would also be fine. Read an ebook, listen to a podcast, play a phone game, hell, watch TH-cam. Maybe log out first, so that your previous browsing history doesn't influence what you see. I do understand it's slightly more likely for you to fall back into your social media poison of choice if you stay on the phone. But it's still a valid option.
I rolled my eyes straight out of my head at the eugenics part. How does being sterilised against their will equate to people not wanting to hang out with you?
I really hate when people use extreme word and words with heavy meanings and history to talk about day to day stuff. Sometimes bad things happen and they're unfair, mean, bullying, prejudice, annoying, frustrating. And that's it. Not everything is opression, eugenics, normalization, glorification, etc. Using these extreme words just makes their argument go from a valid point of reflection to an absurd and ridiculous comparison no one can take seriously.
I hope that first person gets help and can heal emotionally. In my experience, that kind of jealousy and pain at someone else's success comes from a place of deep self loathing. The presence or absence of fat isn't a measure of anyone's worth, but people absolutely should be able to be proud of their journey without it being a statement on anyone else.
Obese people being denied surgeries is not a matter of oppression. It's a safety matter that doctors have to consider when deciding whether to perform surgery on any patient. If the patient is so obese that her life is at risk during the surgery, then any reputable doctor is not going to perform such surgery
26:25 English isn't my first language and this was the first time I have actually heard the definition of eugenics. My jaw literally dropped and I just had to sit down for a few minutes. How on Earth can someone compare these things...
This might be weird but I love when ppl say “English isn’t my first language”. It makes me happy for some reason, esp when I see/hear that their English is very good
@@bribro23 I thought I was the only one who felt this way lol
@@greernelson2101 Lolo why did I also think I was alone in these thoughts. Its A club for two now🥹❤️😂
I live in Germany, and boy, with the history this country has, I get a special kind of annoyed when someone dares to use N!zi vocab like that without informing themselves first. I've seen nameplates of eugenics victims with my own eyes, people who died from this. nothing in the western world today is like that, period.
(Not directed at you ofc but at the tiktok)
The whole being denied surgery = opression/ fatphobia thing boils my blood. It's like no...they're denying it to you for your SAFTY because your body wouldn't cope well. Do they seriously think doctors and medical professionals care about their appearance/ what they eat/ how they present themselves outside of medical/ health risks? These people live in a bubble.
tbh if you think medical professionals have NEVER had their personal biases interfere with their care, you’re in a bubble.
@@horizonkyun7203fr. I gotta disagree with op here. There IS rampant fatphobia in the medical field and it can sometimes leech into surgeries and even medication prescribed.
@@ghoultoothThere is fatphobia in medicine, but if you are morbidly obese you are also exponentially more likely to die on the operating table. It makes sense for surgeons to deny surgery to people who are less likely to survive due to their lifestyle choices. You are also more likely to be denied if you are a smoker.
@@ghoultoothand what medical school and residency did you complete again?
Oh wait....
Right?? That made me so angry. Fat (like actual fat cells) can interfere with anesthesia. Cutting through fat increases complications. Surgery even on a straight sized person can cause issues, but when you have that much fat, yea. There can be complications.
And I've experienced medical bias before, but definitely moreso for being a woman. My bipolar disorder for *years* was blamed on hormones from getting my periods.
“Stop focusing on your body. You’ll feel free”, and they say they don’t have privileges…
When you have several illnesses bc of how overweight you are, it’s almost impossible to do bc it feels like your days are counted.
I'm a mid-sized woman (my BMI is less than 25) but I have big breast; if I wore the same thing as a regular woman, I would be slutshamed, a lot of men slept with me as a joke and I make my own clothes because I can't find them in regular shops but I would NEVER dare to say that I'm oppressed
The one from splotchmaker about "grieving the life diet culture sold you" actually made a lot of sense to me because when I was first introduced to fat acceptance (I got out btw lol) it was through a misleading article that spread the rhetoric that dieting was only harmful, and any attempts at weight loss would only fail or result in even more weight gain - and I literally cried after reading it because I had always wanted to lose weight, and in that moment I felt like that goal/dream was "dying" - if that makes sense?
went on to lose the weight and have kept it off for over a year and a half, but my teenage self who was told weight loss was futile and fatphobic was definitely encouraged to "grieve" all hope of losing weight
No matter what, we ALL have imaginary selves that get incredible things accomplished every day and do interesting stuff like crafts, travel, adventure, exercise, arts, that we don't currently do. Oh, and the house is always clean! Dealing with the mismatch between what you WANT to do and what's realistic is an important part of life! Setting realistic priorities, etc.
@@toomanymarys7355 I wish i could save your comment somewhere for bad days🖤
@@inkompetenzkompensationsko4188 take a screen shot, it was very well said. they call this your ideal self. and theres always a gap between who we are and who we want to be, which can be both motivating and demoralizing
ALSO! not every diet is a weight loss diet. sometimes it's to help other issues and if you hear someone talking about their diet and think "oh they obviously hate themselves" that is MASSIVELY judgemental and, by extension, hypocritical
As someone who is forced by medical issues to have a really weird diet, I feel this. In my case, I'm encouraged to consume a lot of sodium due to issues with low blood pressure. Which is actually harder than you'd think to pull off, because most food companies have been cutting back on sodium content. And it's obviously a huge pain to get anything resembling a "healthy" or low calorie cracker or chip that also has high sodium. If I knew a good way of making them myself, I probably would, TBH.
Yep. I have to avoid certain foods due to allergies. Humans are complicated
I love your videos specifically because you're not gonna laugh at fat people dancing around, lounging in their underwear/swimwear, or otherwise just living life. Thanks for this and all of your other content!
Your girlfriends voice floating out of nowhere in the eugenics part was so good I thought it was an intentional voice over 😂 hola to gf thanks for hilarious guest appearance!!
Hey, I'm losing weight from around 360 and now I've hit 348 last week (after a 350-355 plateu). I love your channel!
Nice work! Plateaus are frustrating, good job getting past this one!
Congrats! That's so cool 💜💜
Am on a plateau and dang! 🏆 to you!
I hope you are proud of all the hard work you have been doing! It must feel so great mentally to achieve goals you set your mind to and stay motivated on goals!:) I can have a hard time sticking to goals I set for myself, but I never feel prouder than when I stick it out through hard changes and see progress on my goals❤ wish u nothing but the best, and I hope you are congratulating yourself everyday❤❤
I feel enormous sadness and compassion when I look at old pics. Because I know how much pain she was in and how sick she was. I was dying when I was at my peak weight. Had a terminal diagnosis and I was just waiting for the hurt to end. Throw in and I'd lost my only son about a year prior, and I was done with this life. The only reason I didn't dip out is that I couldn't do that to my family.
When I figured out what my body needed, the response was immediate and SO very good. My energy came up, my brain cleared, the pain dialed back. And the weight began to drop. FAST. I was eating MUCH more than I was before, but my body was finally working. I dropped 100 pounds in ten months.
For me, fat = sick. Healthy = muscle, lightness of being, free movement without agony.
And yes, Megan is right. You don't feel different in many ways. When I was down 70 pounds, I couldn't see it. Yes, I felt better, but that had nothing to do with my weight. My daughter finally got fed up and had me do a little experiment. She had me put on two backpacks, one normally and the other on the front, then she gradually loaded them up with weights until they were 70 pounds.
I was in shock. That weight was significant. That's when it dawned on me that I'd been carrying that weight every time I went to the bathroom. I'd been lifting that weight every time I rose from the toilet seat. I was walking with that weight, pulling that weight out of the bathtub, carrying that weight up stairs.
When I hit the 100 pound mark, she did the weight thing again, then sprung another surprise on me. She'd been saving some 'before' pics that I forgot I'd even taken. She took two afters, then let me see them side by side. INSANE difference. a
People who LET this happen scare the hell out of me. They have no idea how bad their health can get. Take care of your body, people. It's going to fail at some point - you are mortal - but you can hasten this process. And believe me, you don't want that.
I reading an interesting take on why people who lost weight don't want to hang out with fat people: basically, the person was saying that it would be like a recovered alcoholic refusing to have alcohol around, it would trigger the addiction.
Old fat friends often hate you and try to sabotage you, too, especially if you used to be the fattest. I've known people with that experience. :(
Wait but how would being around fat people make you want…to be fat?? Or are you talking about like their food choices or something?? Confused
@@shirin9452 I think it's about the food choices mostly
@@shirin9452 it’s the food choices as unhealthy eaters will try to make you do the same and if the person is on a weight loss journey food temptation is already a issue they’re dealing with
@Bri Bodega i mean, not necessarily. I eat with my larger friends all the time and we just eat how we eat & don't hassle the other person about it
I think the frustrating thing about the girl getting her hair/nails done who said "leave it at home" is that it doesn't seem like she asked the salon worker to change the subject. Instead she went home to rant online. I could be wrong, but it takes more effort to ask for something to someone's face instead of adding things to the tik tok void. People can't read minds.
If they truly loved there body's they would not get triggered by other people's bodies because when you truly love yourself, you don't care that much about what other people look like and think.
I really feel for the person in the first video, but I think nowadays we all feel like we have to be on the internet/social media in some way. And maybe if we can't avoid the things that really upset or trigger us, for our mental health, it might be better to remove the risk and just delete the apps. You get control back then over the risk of seeing things that really upset you in that way, I've deleted my social media and feel way better for it. Anyway, thank you for your video 😁
That last one, the thin lady, saying she won't be associated with fat people, I don't care how pretty she thinks she is, how hard she works or whatever. If she choses her friends by looks, she'll end up having zero friends. I would try to inspire my bigger friends to go with me to the gym and with some we have fallen out when I started to focus on my body, but it's because I have less time for them and don't eat out, don't socially drink anymore and we just don't spend as much time together. I would never consider them to be bad people because they made a different choice. And I would never dissociate from someone because of how they look. That's beyond shallow.
Splotchmaker is the cringy gift that keeps on giving.
Yep... More unwanted than a herpes flareup
22:26 your gf’s response 😭 I’m dying, she’s all of us
When I feel insecure, I just delete social media. It’s my fault if I’m triggered by every video.
Same. Just got done with a 5 week social media break
my friend has an immune disorder so she eats a gluten free diet to reduce inflammation. she has already heard comments when she orders food “without the bun.” of people assuming she’s trying to lose weight. not all diets are for that purpose
As a medical student, medical gatekeeping is kind of a thing. I have heard GPs admit that they postpone treatment based on weight as they believe feeling unwell will mean patients are more motivated to lose weight. Until that moment, i thought the one doctor who'd told me not receiving treatment for my joint pain should "motivate me to work harder at losing weight" was the rogue element, not industry standard. I've also had an orthopaedic doctor refuse to even scan my hip to see what was wrong because "we wouldn't treat someone your size anyway". Of course doctors shouldn't do procedures when its unsafe, but as a medical student, I'm starting to see just how often it is just discrimination.
I think the "dieting=self-hatred" rhetoric is also very dangerous for people with restrictive ED's. It just gives the message that there is no healthy way to lose weight, and if there's no healthy way to lose weight, then there's no point in even trying. Extremely dangerous.
I'm not going to lie that last girl was really mean, she gave off really mean girl energy very elitist energy very Pearl energy. And I would not be that girl's friend just because of the way she talks about people I think it's gross. But splatchmaker then calling that eugenics only proves that so many people in the FA community have no idea the actual definition of eugenics, And they throw that word around so much, and it's concerning how easily it slips off their tongue without them actually realizing what they're saying. It's disturbing and weird.
Pearl energy?
@@DrCandyStriper the whale from spongebob i’m guessing?
@@stfu3314 JustPearlythings vibes*
Yes splotchmaker, the audacity of making that parallel!!
I'm not the one to leave comments ever buuuut I really appreciate you and it makes me so calm and settled watching your videos. You share just as much empathy as you do criticize those topics and it's refreshing to hear both sides from someone who experienced both spectrums.
I send you all the love and appreciation for that❤
That first video "almost kind of sounds like projection"? It IS projection. She literally said "that was a human being. I am a human being" as if somehow she is anyone else when they were fat. Like what? Its sad she thinks this way, but its even sadder that until she realizes the world isnt against her, shes gonna keep herself miserable.
Hi Megan - standard body size person here & new to your channel. Really appreciate you spelling out your "purpose" around the 13-13:20 mark because it really helped me see where you're coming from (prevention of teens being misled about weight by social movements) and enjoyed your note about critical thinking. Great content!
I can’t feel too bad for people who cry and hit record
There are definitely lots of plus size clothing manufacturers these days. I even see plus size children clothes, which honestly I think it is pretty sad. I'm glad that they can have clothes that fit them, but it is really sad that you know a five-year-old or a seven-year-old needs plus size clothing
early 2000s plus size fashion made me a very sad child. forever 21’s plus size line was a blessing
Pls don’t stop doing FA videos….I love listening to your point of view 💕
Fun fact- America used to be really into eugenics and a lot of Americans actually liked the German ww2 pov up until we actually got involved. Look into the history of the Kellogg cereal guy lol. Wild to think how the US was just 80 years ago.
21:25 they are more expensive because they take more fabric and take longer to sew, so therefore, more labor. More exploited labor, but I guess social justice only matters in the high income OECD countries.
Anyone who sews will know this right off the bat, if you have so many “thoughts and feelings” about it, go sew a “straight sized” pencil skirt, then a “straight sized” circle skirt, and deal with navigating all that excess fabric. You’d be rethinking any objection to the cost.
I felt it so hard when you said you had to shop in the women's section at 12. My mom would make me shop in the women's section Because she said the junior sizes weren't big enough (they were). So yeah I dressed like a mom for a year until I told her I wasn't shopping in women's anymore haha. She'd also comment on my weight at the drs office. Shocker I dabbled in disordered eating as a teen, and I don't mean I tried a normal diet either.
The mental gymnastics should be in the Olympics
I might be wrong but the way the last lady spoke about knowing how to change lives etc screams MLM 😂
I LOVE how Avery channeled all of our collective "wtf" 🤣
Lordy! People forget they have a Stop/Power off button on their phones and TVs. They are bringing all of this drama into their own lives and refuse to take responsibility or are maybe too far gone to even see it. What I notice is that most of these people are young and think they're invincible or only care about making a statement. I seriously want to see them sit across from a true disabled person or victim and swap life stories. It's so disrespectful to bring up eugenics in this situation. And obviously the one girl has no idea what it even is. If these mindsets are any indication of our future, we are all in trouble! But at the same time a huge part of me seriously wants to give them a hug.
People can absolutely have their emotions, but they can't control what other people post on their own social media accounts.
was JUST thinking about how we need another one of these TODAY!! hi bestie!!
same same
You mentioned something about triggers and basically acknowledging tik tok might have them and i wholeheartedly agree. I’ve been struggling with certain things triggering me, but I don’t understand lashing out online over it. I love your videos and you have opened my perspective
Especially with the clothing point it’s getting to the point that the smallest sizes are increasing like you have clothing options for sure
love that they're always b*tching about diet culture but not once have I seen any complaints about sugar culture, fast food culture, etc.
Thissss
Is there nothing that is private anymore? I just can't even imagine posting my own mental breakdown online, especially when it's about something as ridiculous as this.
As someone who has lost a lot of weight I completely understand what the last girl said because people you hang out with can change things you do and I don't want to slip back into the cycle I wouldn't not be someone's friends because they're fat. But I probably wouldn't want to go out to eat with them and stuff because then I'd be more lenient and then I'd want to eat like them and everything and it really pushes your discipline. But yeah putting that towards eugenics is absolutely disgusting. Also it's very important if you are really into something like a healthy lifestyle like working out dating someone who's into the same things as you because if you're a gym rat and you're dating the couch potato you guys don't have similar interests and it'll probably be negative in the long end if one of you doesn't change but why do you expect the other person to change. Ugh these people are ridiculous
i feel bad for doctors who have to deal with the FA community who refuse to take medical advice and those same people keep going back, like what do u want doctors to do if u don't follow their advice lol????
LOTS of people blow off diet and lifestyle interventions, including skinny people! And others won't refill prescriptions no matter how much they need them!
@@toomanymarys7355 ok, and??? 😂 we're discussing the FA community here where one of the ways to help their problems IS TO LOSE WEIGHT AND EAT HEALTHY yet they refuse to make those changes lol
As someone who has family members in the medical field. It (according to them) is frustrating but most have accepted and become numb to it and acknowledge medical autonomy.
big hugs to that first person, I deleted Tik Tok legit due to body image issues, its a cesspool.
I’m skeptical of FatFabFeminist’s claims about “how good it feels not to think about your body all the time,” because she clearly has no experience with that.
the first video is so depressing, i think it's quite clear she dislikes herself and doesn't have the strength yet to change
I was almost 400 pounds but got gastric back in oct 2021 and so far lost 150 pounds. Honestly, I did it because of health since I had Ac1 of 12, type 2 diabetes, high blood pressure, pain, etc etc was on ALOT of different medications. But honestly these people on tiktok make me scared to even show my transformation and I want to be proud but scared of the backlash from fat acceptance community. I don't bash on overweight or underweight people, it's learning to love yourself... I understand alot of them when they talk about doctors because for over 10 years doctors said I had pain from my weight but now it turned out I had 2 bulging disk in my c4-c6 pressing against a nerve. I just wish they would stop bashing on people's image on both sides and learn positivity of being kind to others. Thank you for this video
Congratulations 🥳 that’s awesome! Don’t be scared to show your transformation because of a select few! Whenever I see weight loss videos, the comments are always super supportive and positive! They are not the majority
As a person who recovered from a restrictive ED that almost took my life when I was younger, I can sympathize up to a point with fat acceptance. I think it's very important to love your body regardless of size, and diet culture can be deadly. My ED gave me a very unhealthy mindset, and the last thing I'd want is for others to go through the same thing.
However, there is a huge difference between starving yourself and making healthy changes because you want to feel better (inside and out). I think a person's mindset is the most important thing when approaching these things. I do believe that if weight loss is needed, it should be done out of self love, not hate. Something a lot of these fat acceptance people don't seem to get.
Best part of this video "Do you not know what eugenics means?" My partner was also seconding what your girlfriend was saying.
I was washing the dishes when you mentioned the giveaway so now I’ve wiped my hands and I’m clicking the link 🤭
Honestly, the biggest thing I don't get about being angry when things that you do not like show up on your social media is that they never acknowledge their responsibility in the matter. If being on Tik Tok or the internet causes you a break down like the first clip-- why does no one ever talk about taking a break from the damn apps? Why is the answer to come after other people 'just existing' on the internet too? Social media is also an addiction just like food is for some. Why is getting off your phone and doing some self reflection not an option at allllllll?! If you have enough self-accountability to quit at least one at a time, a lot might improve in these people's mental health.
The world is no responsible for your triggers and they can’t grasp that.
I love Megan’s facial expressions 😂 she has the perfect subtle “cringing” face
I once saw someone say they were being oppressed as a fat person cuz they had to ask for an accommodation and received the accommodation 😅
If you need to tell yourself over and over "I don't need to lose weight to feel valid", you probably do. Not all people need to do that, some people just feel valid and that's it, but if you have to repeat it to yourself and it never sticks - you do. And I don't see a problem with changing your body to be able to love yourself.
I mean, most people with restrictive EDs feel a need to lose weight to feel their ED is valid and have it respected by others. The feeling itself doesn't mean it's true. I don't see a problem with changing your body to love yourself either, to be clear!
@@cassimerehorsington448 I think as long as the weight loss is healthy and the body you're pursuing is healthy, there's nothing wrong with that. It baffles me that somehow inflating, draining and numbing your face with needles and chemicals is A-ok, but losing weight and working out is "unhealthy".
For me it's definitely this, like I'm at a point where I'm like "OK well I don't see myself as a fat person how long am I going to continue on with this body type?" And starting to work out is a way more validating experience than trying to get into body positivity ever was
26:40 as a Jewish person, it makes my blood boil when people just bring up eugenics so effortlessly and carelessly because nothing can be compared to eugenics other than eugenics itself
As a trans person..I agree with you 100%.. my eyes almost rolled out my head. Like seriously.. GET A FUCKING DICTIONARY
I lost a huge amount of weight and I post my before and after pictures to motivate people and because I am proud of
Myself as I work my ass off! It’s triggering for the fat positive community because instead of doing the work, they create a community to accept their unhealthy lifestyle. So seeing before and after show them what they could have if they were making the effort 🤷🏻♀️
I will never apologize or feel bad for my hard work and my weight loss 🤷🏻♀️🍻
I know I sound harsh but I am attack by this community because I lost weight 😢
i agree with ALL that comments, the first video is PAINFUL-- somebody get this girl some help, therapy, a HUG
Im all for loving yourself as you were, not just as you are, but sobbing openly on a public platform about other people posting progress pics is not the way to spread that message
I’m so sick of the popularization of projecting self hatred onto everyone and everything. The constant barrage of “here’s how you’re a victim, everyone hates you and there’s nothing you can do” from every angle is creating nothing but neurotics who can’t function.
There are many feelings that are invalid and wrong. And many that you would invalidate. If a narcissistic parent wants to control and impose on a child for their whole lives, their feelings of deserving it are wrong. If your best friend starts a romantic relationship with your spouse, they are wrong. If a child throws a fit because they can't have candy for dinner, they are wrong.
Feelings v. behavior. No one can help how they feel: it becomes wrong when you act on those feelings
I felt for the first girl. I suffer from OCD and anxiety issues and social media has been a terrible trigger when I've been at my lowest. I've learned to log off and touch some grass when I needed it because SM can be really unhelpful. I feel that a lot of the discomfort people feel comes from being online too much.
I went to her Tiktok and the first thing I seen was someone stitch her and try to explain (which is completely fine). The thing that pissed me off tho was the person saying “this all started with slavery”…. Like Omfg stop fucking bringing black people into this because let’s be real, it’s being used as a tool of guilt. It’s so frustrating.
ooh I love your glasses Megan, I have some very similar ones in red and blue, considering getting white too.
I don't want to compare being underweight to being overweight, because both have different struggles, but when I was severely underweight before recovery, I was 100% hooked up with 'as an inside joke', and for guys to experiment being with someone a lot frailer and smaller than them (for various scary and odd reasons), guys will find any reason to treat a girl like a joke to their friends no matter what size they are, that bit really got to me, thats the fault of the person choosing to hook up with you for a spiteful reason, not the fault of skinny people!
So the gift card still works and I got 250 off an order man! Crazy love it
If you are overweight, it is your doctor's JOB to tell you if you're sick. If they are having to take multiple trips to the Dr due to their weight that means they are at a higher risk
WooHoo $30 gift card. Can’t wait to try Bellesa 💓
I honestly don’t understand why people are so mad at the girl in 23:15
She brings up valid points at setting boundaries on who she should be associated with. It’s very important to not surround yourself with a bad crowd because their mentality will spread and affect you for life.
Sure, I felt like she could have worded her argument better but the one thing I have some respect for her is she wants to promote the mindset of “becoming the best version of yourself” because it’s an important message about how you shouldn’t be so stuck in your past and learn to grow from that point.
I don’t know, I find it wild that she is setting a healthy boundary and people somehow pick apart certain parts of her words and making it seem like she’s a bad person because of wanting to distance herself from a group with a very negative and destructive mindsets.
frrr i have a past of binge eating and i may not want to associate with overweight people who eat fast food 24/7 because that’s what led me to gain weight in the first place
it’s the same as how recovering addicts may not associate with old friends who get high every weekend bc they wna get clean and likely don’t wna go back to a bad place yk
When I went into weight loss it was definitely an act of self hatred and it didn’t work. I didn’t start seeing progress until I was kind to myself and started wanting to improve my health and mobility, after that the motivation was just there in a way it wasn’t before
I have had some very serious situations the past few years, both medical and personal. I don't like to share what's going on with me bc it looks like a laundry list of complaints and excuses, and that's not what I'm going for. My reason for sharing this now is I've become more aware of people making things about them so they have a reason to be upset
I don't go on social media bc it is curated to make people feel bad
The girl was complaining about their For You page not being exactly what they want it to be
I empathize with the feelings behind it but it sounds so dumb when you break it down
20:23 I think the problem is that a lot of fat acceptance creators conflate inconveniences with oppression. For something to be oppressive, it needs to be systemic in nature. It means you're being denied justice by an authority.
I do believe fat creators when they say there are cases in which fat people are unjustly denied medical care, or receive subpar medical care, because of their size. That probably happens, and depending on context, that could be considered oppressive. However, having limited clothing options, or not fitting in an airline seat, or getting made fun of by random people online, are not examples of oppression. They don't exist in the same ballpark lol.
The first video had me raising my eyebrow like whoooooaaaaa
I love this video!
And I got a 30$ gift card lmao 😂 that pebble thing looks interesting 🧐 😂
I understand how before and after pictures might be triggering to some people. Clearly. Maybe someone with an ed or someone who just feels bad about themselves when seeing results like that. But how is that anyone else's problem but yours? How is going online to complain about YOUR algorithm showing you triggering videos anyone else's fault? Instead of logging off or quickly scrolling on to push on with their day, they think the only other option is to force others to stop making the videos. I'm so tired of people trying to change how everyone else exists instead of fixing themselves or dealing with their own problems. I guess it's easier to blame the world instead of putting in the work and taking accountability for yourself.