A woman in a relationship has a question for all women in relationships. Do you ask your partner, boyfriend or husband for money and how does he respond when you ask?
She's not listening to her intuition. He doesn't want her to work 3 jobs because he doesn't want to be bothered with the kid. It's not her job to fix him. She should leave.
Well, maybe. But my first thought is based off of what she said. The questioning whether she is money hungry because society has decided to be in the era of shaming women who have standards. The minute you ask for money you're some gold digger or whatever.
@lorettaknoelk3475 This is why there are a lot of lonely men, and it's because they have brainwashed to not give women any money. The only thing that makes a man interesting is his money especially if he's an eyesore. Men will also be with women they are not attracted to, if she has alot of money. I also blame the pick me women who accept less.
@lorettaknoelk3475 He doesn't have any gold to dig, but she does. The situationship that she's in lacks reciprocity, and she should exit quietly before her mind and body fall apart, literally. She is being manipulated and abused.
@winning3329 By nature, men are selfish, self-serving creatures. They drain everything that they touch. I hope that women see them for who they truly are and accept it.
He’s telling her not to work that many jobs when she clearly needs the money for her bills but doesn’t want to help her with $10-$50 ? He is broke and stingy. He isn’t adding to her life. She needs to be single if he’s not helping her.
Ladies let's leave these Bare Minimum Low Effort Men in 2023 (Shout out to Manifestelle) If he doesn't make your life better he should not be in your life in the first place.
My mom stayed with her bf for 17 years . She paid for everything cook and cleaned for him and his son. This man never even bought her a single gift or takes her out anywhere . He even had a side chick which she knew about her. When I speak up she tells me to hush , she doesn’t want to be alone . So you just like the idea of a relationship but not the relationship. GOT IT ! It’s desperation to the highest degree.
This sounds like my neighbours, the husband was blatantly hitting on me, following me around, watching my every move- I actually ended up phoning the police- he was doing all this right in front of his wife, she didn’t seem to care, I think she just wanted to keep him because they have 3 kids and she needs him around- I think he knows that she’s not going anywhere, so he feels comfortable openly chasing other women
@@jenbodhi1133 it’s so sad to watch 😞 . It’s like society has brainwashed women to believe we are NOTHING without MEN . When it’s just because the have fragile egos and can’t handle emotional and mental pain .
The last guy I dated a years ago, he bragged about his wealth, bought hisself designer clothes, jewelry, took trips abroad but would not spend a dime on me. He would come to my house and eat ALL my groceries in one sitting, never offered to replace anything. We'd go out and he would leave his wallet at home. We only dated for 3 weeks...which was way too long. I confronted him about him being cheap and dumped/blocked him. I have no respect for cheap, stingy or greedy people.
Chile , I have this old man who is 32 years OLDER than me, literally my mom’s age. He’s ALWAYS trying to date me or get me to go out so he can be seen with me (his words), etc. 🧐 he’s always talking about this supposed money that he has. Grant it , I’ve tried counting his pockets by the way he lives his life to kind of get an idea of how much I think he has. Basically, the math ain’t mathing. And he loves to buy himself stuff , his shirts are usually customized with his initials etc. Long story short , I ask him for money just to test the waters. Nothing insane amounts just a decent amount because if you say you have it like that , then surely you can handle what I ask? He has an EXCUSE every single time. And I’ll see him with something new or he’ll brag about something just to try to make it appear he has money. I told him straight up very blunt , that he’s too cheap for me. Why would I date a cheap old man , is what I asked him ? 😂 what world does he live in 😂
Of course she made a video to defend the behavior. I always say to myself, if you have to ask a question about a subject that torments you, then you already have your answer, you are just seeking validation.
As a single woman by choice who is living a very comfortable life alone, in 2024, I am going to normalize not providing feedback to women who are in toxic situations or relationships that know that they are in toxic situations but choose to stay in those situations and this includes my mom and my cousin. We've beaten this down to death at this point as black women - got a tombstone and everything. This is how I'm choosing to decenter men and center myself. I don't want to hear about your man problems. You know he's a problem - drop him or go to couples therapy, but I don't want it in my peace.🎉❤
How you deal with your mom situation because I have the same situation. I don't want to go home because of that and everyone just keep asking when I will go home, I want to see my siblings, grandma and aunt but I don't want to deal with my parents
THANK YOU!!! I dropped friends because they assaulted my ears with their bs. They are all lip service and don't realize they are inconsiderate to their friends who are tired of their drama. NO ONE WANTS TO LISTEN ANYMORE. As my mom used to tell me and my sisters. "Either sh!t or get off the pot!"
Her first problem is her money situation. Homegirl needs to focus on getting her finances straight rather than worrying about a relationship. I don't think broke people should date, whether they are male or female. Improve your life and then look for your complement. As for her question, no one is entitled to anyone's money. She keeps saying we and our, but that's not her man. The point of caring for someone is to help to better each others lives. If your partner is fine with seeing you struggle, then he doesn’t care about you. If he adds to the struggle, then he hates you. She needs to wake up.
Homegirl is not broke, as she stated. She is with a male who is draining her resources, time, and energy. Being with him does not benefit her at all emotionally or spirituality. He is a leech, sucking the life out of her, and she looks like it.
I agree he wouldn't care if you had a job or not if he really liked you I know that's hard for some women to accept but if it's a woman he desires he might make adjustments for her if the job itself is not very threatening to his manhood you have to learn how to tame him first which is tricky so if your looking to have at least one man to yourself that doesn't leave then you would have had to have known him for five or more years and he cant be really young or attractive either they might sleep with you but they may not want to hang around for very long the older men are going to be a better bet if your just looking for a bag. Maybe meet him at college that's were some men say they met there wives so if your past the age of 35 you might want to think about lowering your standards a bit you can accept poor men, just not broke men if that makes sense but if he has no income or housing then it's time to bounce because at least if he has income you can combine it and have a more stable relationship. Don't build him up either just make sure he has a way to get paid just in case you need to leave he won't go looking for you. A lot of men don't understand boundaries and if you don't set any boundaries he will think he can do whatever the hell he wants to you if you allow it.
@@Fever5Live215-gc7hxnone of the women are ever getting married that's a better pay back sense men incapable of love. Doesn't make sense to marry them.
Meh. I would say more what the girl at ~11:00 said. The generosity will flow. They can love you all you want and need, but if they don’t have the money they literally can’t demonstrate that love monetarily.
I remember I worked with a guy who had a girlfriend w/ a sick child who he would “lend” money to that she had to pay back before pay day. He was living in this woman apartment. At this point if y’all put up with it we shouldn’t care.
My itch with 50/50 is because it's never really 50/50, especially when they live together. For most men? they get a roommate who cooks, cleans and takes care of them and oh also gives out the cookie without much effort on his part. That shows that he doesn't really like or want her, she's just a convenient maid he can didle until his 'ideal' comes into the picture.
I don't think this is realistic. You as an adult should pay for yourself. If you love someone of course you can help each other but to expect a grown adult to pay your way is ridiculous. There is nothing wrong with splitting down the middle. Then men in these videos aren't doing that they being disgruntled and not wanting to share and using these ppl.
My boyfriend and I split things pretty much 50/50, but he's always offering to pay for me and I think he'd be fine paying for most things. He's a generous guy (and I'm a generous woman). We both work so I think it makes sense for us to split things 50/50. Of course eventually if we have kids, if I'm a stay at home parent he'll be paying 100% for a few years :P We'll have to be married for that to happen though. He also does all his own chores (we don't live together) and we make each other meals- we're both good cooks. So I guess my point is that a guy is probably decent even if he wants 50/50, as long as he's also generous, does 50% of the housework (if both partners work full time) without being asked and is generally a good, reliable person. The best situation is when you both want to do a lot for each other, and you BOTH go overboard trying to make each other's lives better :) But of course that can't happen before you know someone well and completely trust them.
Men will place hold a woman for a lifetime if he lacks the drive and confidence to go for what he truly wants. Do not confuse his presence and tenure as love or commitment
In my opinion any man that fights with you over money doesn’t deserve your time because he needs to sort out his finances before he even thinks about a relationship. And also I think she shouldn’t be in a relationship right now she also needs to sort out her finances 🤷♀️
One, him exploding or getting mad at her for asking for money,especially for essentials or things under $50 when she is raising his kid is a red flag. Two, the fact that even over $10 he gets upset with her may be him trying to train her to not ask at all. Three, if she’s working 3 jobs and all her money is going to bills while he’s tight lipped about HIS earnings, huge 🚩🚩🚩. He’s saving up for something, but not to marry her if he isn’t talking nuptial plans. A man who gets mad at you for needing him or asking him for things, especially provisions, isn’t a man with your best interest at heart.
THEY don't need counseling because most likely men like him don't like it and won't listen. SHE NEEDS COUNSELING. And, yes, if you have to work three jobs like that with someone talking about marriage to you then YOU ARE BROKE. Also, IDGAF how young your child is YOUR CHILD CAN SENSE THAT SOMETHING IS WRONG. "How tf do you know, b!tch?" I was that young child who saw and sensed that things were WRONG WRONG WRONG. Being around a stressed momma and a stingy man, or vice-versa, contributes to PTSD, underearning (regardless of how much money you make!), etc. Make the move and get rid of him. Marriage will not fix this. I repeat... MARRIAGE WILL NOT FIX THIS. In fact, you marrying THAT PROBLEM will generate MORE PROBLEMS. Love is not enough and he certainly doesn't have any for you. Stop putting yourself and your child through hardship just because you need a man.
One problem i have is that these new males have young women calling themselves 'females'. That word 'female' erks me. it definitely comes from him, "you females be always wanting my money". My ex-h was a generous man and i can still ask him for money. I will forever watch out for him and make sure he never goes without. Ps..my father did this had issues with giving us(his chn)money.
@@Rice10120-Honestly, it’s not necessarily that. I use it all the time; as a result of, military service. I will note, I don’t use it on social media, for the reasons you’ve noted.
I do me. I have NEVER asked a man for anything. While it has been tough a few times in the past, it is so worth it when THEY ask "why did you buy another purse? How many do you need?" And I answer " you didn't pay for it, I didn't ask you for anything. You can ask when youre the one who pays"
That is all well and good but is off topic. Even if you CAN pay for yourself, a man who truly loves you will offer to pay for those things. Speaking from experience. 4 months after I started dating my now husband. He saw me taking the bus in the cold and he couldn't stand it. Now, I already bought my yearly bus pass so I didn't have any trouble getting myself to and from work, but that wasn't the issue for him. His issue was I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO WAIT IN THE COLD FOR A BUS. So from that day forward he drove me to and from work every day. Eventually we moved to a different country and I started working from home, but the point is, this is an example of how I didn't need his help nor did I ask for it, but he did it anyway because he didn't want to see the woman he loves struggle in any shape, way, or, form. We've been married 10 years and I have a laundry list of similar stories.
Girl dont make his life easier by using your own money he gets your presence for FREEE? no way. If a man is not willingly spoiling you he doesnt love you.
It's not about the ability for you to provide for yourself but you shouldn't have to all the time. It sounds as if the men never provided value to your life...why even be in those relationships then?
I dated a brotha from another country. He told me a man should add to your life, not take away from it. It bothered him if I needed something and didn't ask. He would just do random things for me that would have me in tears because I never met anyone like that.
I've been married to my husband for 14.5 years. Open communication about finances are a bare minimum. Y'all ain't gonna make it if you can't talk about the tough stuff calmly and respectfully. Anyone can talk about the easy stuff.
The difference between you and her is that is your HUSBAND not BOYFRIEND. Husbands provide but boyfriends do not and are not required to do so. She is a gold digger
@@alieshagatling_archiahopemmmm.... i think the question that needs to be asked here is, does boyfriend get husband privileges? Does he get an unpaid, live-in, on-call-24/7 maid + cook+ personal shopper + nanny for HIs child + personal s3x worker ? If he is getting any or all of these rich-man's privileges from her, but can't give her $20, then he is the gold digger and she is the exploited. Labor isnt free. And free labor is slavery 🔗
I don’t ask my husband for money because he gives it to me without me asking. He is never ever stingy. He ask me almost every day if I have everything I need. I’m not sure where women find some of these men. 🤔
Couple's counselors have said that successful and happy marriages have nothing to do with love. Some of the best ones they've seen have 2/3 things idealized in relationships, rather than just the 3rd of love. What are those two things? TRUST and RESPECT.
Even before we got married, my husband gets offended if I open my wallet to pay for anything in his presence! Unless we've had a discussion about what I was going to purchase and how much I am going to spend. He gives me the side eye. For my husband it is the masculine to him when I purchase things with my own money in front of him. He completely sees himself as my provider. You gotta know when to hold 'em and you got to know when to fold 'em. But most importantly you got to know what kind of man you're working with. Many of these dudes are pests that just want to nest and rest! Hell he gives me his check! Cuz I'm the one that runs it to the bank! In fact he's currently telling me he wants me to have control of all of the finances! There is no excuse to be putting up with no skin Flint stingy ass bumb in 2024💅🍷
This a good man but what would happen if he went broke. The 50/50 thing is really emasculating and men should not expect to be referred to as or treated like a man if he can’t provide. Or expect to make decisions about anything as a man
Honestly I think when a guy wants u they're going to not only treat u well but also ur loved ones. Like I was out with my sister and her bf and he took care of us both. Like get ur self a man who is not only generous to u, but also to those u love⚘️
Im less than 2 minutes in. And my first thought is how could she say using the money to take care of herself isnt good use of the money. Shes saying she works so hard that she's willing to pick up 3 jobs, but spending the money she earns to take care of herself isnt a good use of that money? I would say since she has so many jobs she needs to make self-care a top priority so she can keep going and she won't feel as emotional and burnt out.
Happy New Year Priscilla and ladies. The first 🚩 is she calling women females. The second is being with a man that don’t want u to work, won’t babysit but won’t give u money. I thought we left this in 2023. These roommate situations are exhausting to watch.
I do not speak to men that call women " females" ...and I have never heard women call men " males" I am a foreigner and maybe I do not understand it at all. This woman does not even understand that she is not in a relationship.
He doesn’t want you to work so he can deal with the kid. He keeps his money to himself and explodes when you ask him for money. He doesn’t tell you anything about his finances. Mostly likely broke or has serious debt. Girl, run.
I'm a house spouse and I have equal access to all our finances. We have a budget but my husband is constantly spending extra money to provide things that i want -not need, want. If a man won't take care of your needs, wjen he has the ability to. you should really think about why you are with him.
The question highlights a lot of women who will do anything to remain in a relationship no matter how detrimental it is. As she has a son it is even worse because he will probably grow up expecting to have a struggle love relationship that his mother has. This woman needs to leave this man because he is not generous. A man wouldn't guilt you for working several jobs and then get into an argument about finances. Also I find with these type of people, they tend to block your blessings. I wouldn't be surprised after she leaves him she will probably a better paid job and more time for herself and then enter a healthy better relationship.
Yeesh! I just drove to LA and was planning on staying in an air bnb with family. By the time I drove down there I just wanted to be alone. I called my boyfriend and let him know I wanted to stay in a hotel. He just started laughing and said "I was going to ask why you were staying in an air bnb with them but I didn't want to disagree with your decision" and he let me know which of his credit cards I'm an authorized user on to put the transaction on. Lol I never have to even question if I'm my boyfriend's dream girl because he literally gives me the world on a silver platter. He does make good money so money isn't really an issue for us but I think if it was he would at least talk to me kindly about the situation.
This relationship is costing her more than it's worth. Like why be in a relationship with someone that provides no benefit to you. Like it's not even just about being a provider but where's the support?
Nope, not when i was married. Not when I am now single. I budget like crazy and I would not explain anything to my ex when it was something needed. My ex used to think I was just spending money for no reason. He had no clue how much things costs, as far as running a house or having a child. Sister- run and make something of your life beyond a man! You are amazing and will do it!
I had that situation when I was married. I’m the type of person that is obsessive about stocking up. I couldn’t wait until my stock ran out. When it didn’t, he asked, when I was going to buy those things. I said, I’m not, you do it, since you think I’m spending too much. I bought name brand cleaning supplies and laundry essentials. Why did he bring home the cheapest items he could find 🤣. I had a stash of my favorites. I told him to not to wash my clothes. I now know, what to except and what not to, as it pertains to finances.
Yeah mine used to be like that... until i left him. Now he will give if i ask and sends me a monthly allowance. Its not lots but it certainly helps out. He will offer to pay for my nails when he has money. Hes finally paying dinner on a regular basis (its been over a year with the consistancy) Leave him sis, if he loves you, it will snap him out of it. But you have to treat him like you will leave at one mishap. Everyday, he needs to know you will walk out that door if you need to. Ive also realised if he complains then hes got bills to pay that week he just doesnt want to tell me out of pride. Sometimes, men get comfortable especially if you have kids. They see you as reliable because you HAVE to be for your children so they get comfy real quick acting like your teenage son. Kick him back out into reality. And see if he wakes up.
She left us with a lot of questions. Do they live together? Does he pay at least half of the existing fixed bills like rent and utilities? If a man is not willing to pay at least half, That means he is looking for a better deal than what he could get with a roommate. Why would you agree to that? Get a female roommate and split it. Like I said she left us with a lot of questions. At one point she said she had three jobs. Now we know men. How many men have an opinion about how much time the mother of their children spends with those children? How many men have opinions When it comes to children that are not biologically their own? Usually this only happens if he is put into the position to have to mind And care for that child. So was he going to work all day to pay At least half of the bills and then coming home to take care of her child? Where is the biological father in all of this? She is just giving us a little piece of The story I think.
For some men it is a huge turn-off to the point of relationship ending when they think the person they're dating is mistreating their kids, even with no relation. Shows lack of maturity on the bad parent's part at the very least, and adults aren't about that. However, combined with everything else she said I bet you anything she's a side-piece and hasn't realized it, or the girlfriend he keeps to fulfill his needs while he's screwing around. He wants to make sure he knows where she is, and is starting to groom her to accept worse.
@@Letstalkaboutit2323 well, maybe they don't live together and he's just "visiting". Things are not clear - I completele agree with the comment above. Well, anyway, if he's visiting and eating meals, then he should cover the groceries at least ('cause the cooking time and effort is hers) . If they live together, he's gotta cover at least half of the rent. It's not clear if he's doing it and she needs money on top of that or if he's just living at her expense.
“At least pay half?” 🤣 That’s a roommate, with no benefits. No thank you! I do well and am comfortable paying everything alone. It wouldn’t benefit me to bring half into my life. Half, means I won’t be able to increase my net worth. Let’s be honest, when they pay half, they definitely won’t even do half in finances, or anything else.
I don't need to even know that. If I am with a male as a wife/girlfriend he should be providing or I'll rather be single, end of discussion. And she even gave him a kid without marriage contract and without any commitment 🤦 She is really slow. Males don't respect women when they aren't providing and taking care of her, now he don't see her as something valuable. And she is still asking us instead of putting him on child support and leaving. Some of these women really like this struggle love bs. If you ask nothing, you get nothing.
I’m not saying to hurt that girl feelings, but I gotta be honest he just wanna go 50-50 with her let alone not liking her as much but he can’t have it both ways so if he don’t wanna her to work as much, why can’t you come out of his pocket like come on, now and men kill me with this bullshit
I hope she leaves that headache, he trippin off $10-50 but dont want her to her to work but aint even trying to budget or plan. I've been there, he aint gone do his part and don't want to grow up. 1 person in a relationship should never have to get 3 jobs by themselves. And how do they need a babysitter??He need to care for the baby while she's at work
First of it's nice to see a woman work and pull her own weight what's not nice is her man being Mr crabs and not wanting to pay for shit he needs to pull his half and pay and help out in the house it really doesn't sound like he wants a partner at all just a house m8
I’m married, usually I work but I had a baby last may, and I’ve been home with baby since. He pays for everything and gives me money. I get a random amount when he gets paid, and I tell him when my credit cards are due, or when the girls need money for this or that. I think the key is getting with a man who wants to provide, and don’t do wifey duties before your a wife! Stop shacking up with them and having babies before marriage, when you visit his place, don’t clean up the whole place! I agree with the women in the vid! He don’t like her! It took me years but my husband consistently tells me his money is OUR MONEY, and I can take the money and do whatever with it because it’s mine too
Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her.
its difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but i couldn't just let her go i did all i could to get her back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual counsellor who helped me bring her back.
That 1st girl is a PLACEHOLDER. That dude is stacking his paper while he builds himself up so he can leave. The 50/50 mess is not a romantic relationship. He's a ROOMMATE
My question is...what will the responses she gets from other women do for her situation? Lol. She obviously knows it's wrong , which is why she's asking. But what is she doing to change it? If she's still with him, then it's useless for her to come on social media just to complain about someone she isn't willing to remove from her life.
I Learned My Lesson In My Blessing When I Left My Ex-Fiancé To Be A Single Mother Since He Wasn't Pulling His Weight....I'll Be Damned To Be A Single Mother && Still Dealing With Low Caliber Men Around My Child 🫠 That's Just A Whole Other Level Of Embarrassment
My boyfriend lost his job last year in march and he was so upset because he felt like he could provide for me like a man would… soon he got a new job he was like he got it and pays for everything he can just like before … I mean we still go 50/50 on bills but if he was making more money in a better economy I know he would let me pay for anything
It’s so hard to find men who want to be an equal partner or “provider” in an equitable situation. It feels like half these men want to nest and rest or act like king baby tyrant just cause they’re the sole income provider while she provides literally everything else!
The older lady that said he doesn’t like her is spot on, this same type of man will get a “preference” and will jump through hoops proving his worth he just isn’t willing to do it for you.
Me personally if I’m not benefiting from a relationship whether it’s romantic, friendship or family I’m not going to waste my time being in it. No relationship should be one sided. That’s how I roll, I don’t play that. If a man isn’t making my life easier then he needs to go. 🤷🏽♀️ I’m already stable on my own so he needs to bring something to the table. I feel sorry for a lot of women out here that choose to endure struggle love just for the sake of having a man in her life. 🤧🤦🏽♀️
I appreciate my ex because he taught me to check in with myself to see if I’m happy in the relationship/situation or just doing something just to do it. A lot of people don’t assess their feelings and just go with the flow of life.
16:40 I know this woman was coming from a good place, but telling someone struggling to pay bills "get counseling" is insensitive and oblivious. Counseling, therapy, etc are luxuries. OP is just trying to put food on the table and pay rent. If she's asking her man for $10 or $20, she can't afford counseling, and we know her man won't pay for it either.
Is going to the doctor for an infection a “luxury”? Cause that’s what this situation is- a parasitic infection. She is so close to seeing that, but sometimes you need an outside, professional perspective to take the blinders off. Often 1 or 2 appointments is all it takes.
100% using her. If he is living there then half that rent is his, he needs to be paying for half the groceries or more if that’s THEIR kid and be covering 1 or 2 or the bills at least if they can’t agree on what to split on.
This is why you should date a man who loves you more than you love him. I know this sounds unfair, but we all know how much women LOVE a man when they love him, will give him the literal skin off her back. And if that's the case, you need to find a man who will give you his skin, bones, and a couple of organs. Maybe that means you stay single for a long time, but that's better than being with someone who doesn't care about you.
14:52. Have important convos in the beginning she said. Idk if im just jaded or not. I have always dated for marrige and had or tried to have those convos in the beginning to make my intentions clear and put everything out so i and the man can decide if we are right for one another. Sounds logical right? Well the "more logical species" has done nothing but lie, divert the convo, brush off topics, gas light, say im too serious etc...and they wonder why we didnt work out. My husband is the ONLY man that came to ME with his ontentions and expectations. He played no games. I had the important convos with him, because some things he never thought about like finacials past/present/possoble future debt etc.
I'm 23. Been with my bf (he's a year older) since I was 17. He got a high paying job to help take care of me. He gets me gifts without asking, takes me out to eat and tells me to get whatever I want, he pays a lot of gas to see me (he lives a couple states away), sends me food if I say I'm hungry, and he will send me as much money as I say I need if I ask him. I'm only in my early 20s. Please don't sell yourself short. It doesn't have to be that way. I got lucky.
This situation requires a different solution. If you’re not married to him, your money is your money. You need to separate finances IMMEDIATELY. Plus it does not sound like he budgets or have financials goals or YOUR financial goals in mind. He maybe spending your earnings and this is considered financial abuse. He has not earned the privilege to lead you including the finances and honestly you should leave him, he is a DUSTY. Once your finances are separated, budget for the next 24 months. Pay off all your debt, save as much as possible, pre-plan what you want to spend and create a sinking funds, and take care of the child’s needs first. You’ll do fine, the recovery process takes time.
I've been in 2 relationships with men who handle finances differently. My 1st ex gave me his card and pin. I just had to make sure he had his protein shakes, gym membership was paid and debit orders go through. My current man has never disclosed his finances but he took over the big bills without asking me😅 he pushes me to accomplish my ambitions and I never need to ask for anything
Argue with you over $50 🤣🤣🤣😭 I do not know how many ways and actions he can do to show you he doesn't like you? It is just convenient for him being in your space using up your resources. If you are living with a man and you can not even discuss the finances of how the house will run. How could you still hope to marry him?
I'm single now but before I left my ex about 2 years ago he used to be like I have a $2000 bonus check take it. Or I'll give u $80,000 as a down payment for a house. Or I'll buy u a laptop but he did buy me the latest iPhone then. Like no I never dated a guy who didn't wanna give me all his $. The stingy bfs defiantly are saving up while using their current gfs for services then they'll bounce when they're stable enough and date who they really want.
She’s the one putting herself in the situation; she has a choice but if she’s taking it, don’t blame the deadbeat!!….there’s so much advice you can give a woman with self esteem issue with a man; why continue being with a man that has no positive impact in your life!!!????
My motto for 2024: he would and he will If he’s garbage when you met him, he’s going to stay garbage in the relationship. That’s the thing about guys. They’ve been the same since birth, but it’s us women that are always accommodating and changing to fit what they like. We always picking up the slack to help them out only for it to backfire in the end.
This is so wild. My ex was such a trash bf and retrospectively there clearly wasn’t a future there. Anywho, when we first started dating I made like 4x what he made, by the time we broke up he made 10-20k less than me per year. He always gave me money/offered to pay for whatever; that was NEVER an issue and he NEVER complained about it to me or other people. He paid household expenses, bought stuff for me, gave me money to buy stuff for my self, paid bills, paid for dates etc and I was usually making significantly more than him the entire time. Never questioned the amount or anything. I’m leaving a lot of context out but it as a janky relationship to the max but girl! That man doesn’t even like you as a friend! Edit: I went to her TikTok page, she not leaving that man smdh, and she justified all the stuff to herself instead of listening to the people in the comments and then said basically we need to mind our own business. Welp 🤷🏾♀️
So he wants full access to her but it’s stingy, secretive and argumentative… yuck 🤢… she should get rid of him instead of asking the internet questions..
🤣Do you females that's what the first lady said. Her even addressing other ladies that way says alot. I have no advice because they are going to still stay. I am not working 3 jobs and having a MAN thats CRAZY no thank you.
This part. At this point in 2024, let's just point at them and be like "That's an example of a bad relationship, ladies", but I'm all out of advice for women who choose to remain in situations that they can't stop complaining about.
I remember being 19 moving in with a guy , when the month rolled around I asked him for the rent, he proceeded to tell me if I ask him for anything he’d beat my a$$, I paid to end that lease and moved out while he was in Miami
So happy you got away from him and you had the mind to leave when he wasn't around Very dangerous man, when you are 19 to be smart to leave and safely too, well done
2024 we TEACHING these men how to treat us. We setting standards, boundaries, and expectations. And if you been with the man , you are opening your mouth and speaking your feelings, then you are holding him accountable for the discussion. And last but not least, we not listening to our friends about their relationships especially when you offered solutions to her, yet she goes right back to him . 🥴 And let me add and validate the lady with bonnet and a lot of brothers. She is so correct. My dad told me growing up to pay attention to the whole man. Look at his family dynamics, pay attention to how he spends, pay attention to how he treats others. How is his work ethic? You have to ask questions and observe. This goes both ways , but since video is about the man I’ll stick with that .
For the women buying grocery for her and the man she was dating… I kinda of went through the same thing and I stopped feeding him. I told him he provided them lemons and I’ll make the lemonade and he started buying groceries weekly. I kinda felt bad but at the same time I realized I was frustrated because I’m a single mom providing for my house and my children and this grown man so no you can not eat at my house and your not contributing..
These conversations always confuse me. He pays for everything, and I don't ask for money: I know where every dime goes. Asking a man for money just sounds stressful. Edit: married for 10 years.
I never had a man offer to pay for my hair or nails. I can’t remember the last time a man has bought me flowers. They have no problem wanting sex though.
![ลองสั่งของจากแอพ temu ถูกจริงหรอ?? ( part : 1/2 ) [โกงไหมครับ ep.89 ] | DOM](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/RTcZSQTiDZw/mqdefault.jpg)
Happy new year to all of you ❤❤and thanks for all the love and support 😊
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She's not listening to her intuition. He doesn't want her to work 3 jobs because he doesn't want to be bothered with the kid. It's not her job to fix him. She should leave.
Well, maybe. But my first thought is based off of what she said. The questioning whether she is money hungry because society has decided to be in the era of shaming women who have standards.
The minute you ask for money you're some gold digger or whatever.
@lorettaknoelk3475 This is why there are a lot of lonely men, and it's because they have brainwashed to not give women any money.
The only thing that makes a man interesting is his money especially if he's an eyesore.
Men will also be with women they are not attracted to, if she has alot of money.
I also blame the pick me women who accept less.
@lorettaknoelk3475 He doesn't have any gold to dig, but she does. The situationship that she's in lacks reciprocity, and she should exit quietly before her mind and body fall apart, literally. She is being manipulated and abused.
@winning3329 By nature, men are selfish, self-serving creatures. They drain everything that they touch. I hope that women see them for who they truly are and accept it.
This
If he won't even discuss finances, he's keeping secrets. Leave him.
Probably spends money on his side chicks.
He’s telling her not to work that many jobs when she clearly needs the money for her bills but doesn’t want to help her with $10-$50 ? He is broke and stingy. He isn’t adding to her life. She needs to be single if he’s not helping her.
Exactly, she must get out of that relationship and focus on herself and her child.
For real! She working 3 jobs and he’s probably not doing shyt.
He is a scrub....a dusty!!!
He’s probably the kind of guy who thinks all women are gold diggers and when you ask, you’re being entitled, according to him.
It will be cheaper for her to break up with him.
Ladies let's leave these Bare Minimum Low Effort Men in 2023 (Shout out to Manifestelle) If he doesn't make your life better he should not be in your life in the first place.
I love her!!! She's told me things my dad's told me
Exactly! Wake up Bestie!!!
Exactly this creator already has her answer. He isn’t the type of man for her.
Omg yess love her and this channel
I KNEW YOU WERE A SPOILED GIRLIEEEEE🙈😩🎀🩷
This is so sad to hear, WHY are women in 2024 STILL allowing this, especially with children. At this point, I think they are addicted to the struggle.
Yesssss
We just got to ‘24 😂😂😂 it’s literally day 2
Maybe that is all they nee- maybe they think things will be better in 2024….😂😂😂🤷🏽♀️😞
@@whatismyname5206and we ain't getting no younger 😂
Most addictions are negative and hard to part with. There is definitely a tethering that is unhealthy.
My mom stayed with her bf for 17 years . She paid for everything cook and cleaned for him and his son. This man never even bought her a single gift or takes her out anywhere . He even had a side chick which she knew about her. When I speak up she tells me to hush , she doesn’t want to be alone . So you just like the idea of a relationship but not the relationship. GOT IT ! It’s desperation to the highest degree.
Oh hell naw! She deserves wayyyy better!
@@KevonnieElaine She doesn’t care as long as there’s a man in her life that’s all that matters
@@Goddess_Infinity-What’s incredibly sad is, there still isn’t one in her life.
This sounds like my neighbours, the husband was blatantly hitting on me, following me around, watching my every move- I actually ended up phoning the police- he was doing all this right in front of his wife, she didn’t seem to care, I think she just wanted to keep him because they have 3 kids and she needs him around- I think he knows that she’s not going anywhere, so he feels comfortable openly chasing other women
@@jenbodhi1133 it’s so sad to watch 😞 . It’s like society has brainwashed women to believe we are NOTHING without MEN . When it’s just because the have fragile egos and can’t handle emotional and mental pain .
The last guy I dated a years ago, he bragged about his wealth, bought hisself designer clothes, jewelry, took trips abroad but would not spend a dime on me. He would come to my house and eat ALL my groceries in one sitting, never offered to replace anything. We'd go out and he would leave his wallet at home.
We only dated for 3 weeks...which was way too long. I confronted him about him being cheap and dumped/blocked him. I have no respect for cheap, stingy or greedy people.
Please be careful about allowing them in your home these days, after a few weeks.
Chile , I have this old man who is 32 years OLDER than me, literally my mom’s age.
He’s ALWAYS trying to date me or get me to go out so he can be seen with me (his words), etc.
🧐 he’s always talking about this supposed money that he has. Grant it , I’ve tried counting his pockets by the way he lives his life to kind of get an idea of how much I think he has. Basically, the math ain’t mathing.
And he loves to buy himself stuff , his shirts are usually customized with his initials etc.
Long story short , I ask him for money just to test the waters. Nothing insane amounts just a decent amount because if you say you have it like that , then surely you can handle what I ask?
He has an EXCUSE every single time. And I’ll see him with something new or he’ll brag about something just to try to make it appear he has money.
I told him straight up very blunt , that he’s too cheap for me. Why would I date a cheap old man , is what I asked him ? 😂 what world does he live in 😂
Of course she made a video to defend the behavior. I always say to myself, if you have to ask a question about a subject that torments you, then you already have your answer, you are just seeking validation.
I agree 💯
This is what I thought 😅 💭
Exactlyyyyy
As a single woman by choice who is living a very comfortable life alone, in 2024, I am going to normalize not providing feedback to women who are in toxic situations or relationships that know that they are in toxic situations but choose to stay in those situations and this includes my mom and my cousin. We've beaten this down to death at this point as black women - got a tombstone and everything.
This is how I'm choosing to decenter men and center myself. I don't want to hear about your man problems. You know he's a problem - drop him or go to couples therapy, but I don't want it in my peace.🎉❤
I agree!
This is the one!
🗣️AGREED!!!👏🏿💯💅🏿
How you deal with your mom situation because I have the same situation. I don't want to go home because of that and everyone just keep asking when I will go home, I want to see my siblings, grandma and aunt but I don't want to deal with my parents
THANK YOU!!!
I dropped friends because they assaulted my ears with their bs. They are all lip service and don't realize they are inconsiderate to their friends who are tired of their drama.
NO ONE WANTS TO LISTEN ANYMORE.
As my mom used to tell me and my sisters. "Either sh!t or get off the pot!"
How can she even stand to let him touch her when he’s so stingy?
Exactly !!! I wouldn’t even look at him the same 😂
Low esteem
Right
I literally told my friend “don’t you feel like shit when he touches you?” She got mad at me….
Her first problem is her money situation. Homegirl needs to focus on getting her finances straight rather than worrying about a relationship. I don't think broke people should date, whether they are male or female. Improve your life and then look for your complement.
As for her question, no one is entitled to anyone's money. She keeps saying we and our, but that's not her man.
The point of caring for someone is to help to better each others lives. If your partner is fine with seeing you struggle, then he doesn’t care about you. If he adds to the struggle, then he hates you.
She needs to wake up.
Homegirl is not broke, as she stated. She is with a male who is draining her resources, time, and energy. Being with him does not benefit her at all emotionally or spirituality. He is a leech, sucking the life out of her, and she looks like it.
I agree he wouldn't care if you had a job or not if he really liked you I know that's hard for some women to accept but if it's a woman he desires he might make adjustments for her if the job itself is not very threatening to his manhood you have to learn how to tame him first which is tricky so if your looking to have at least one man to yourself that doesn't leave then you would have had to have known him for five or more years and he cant be really young or attractive either they might sleep with you but they may not want to hang around for very long the older men are going to be a better bet if your just looking for a bag.
Maybe meet him at college that's were some men say they met there wives so if your past the age of 35 you might want to think about lowering your standards a bit you can accept poor men, just not broke men if that makes sense but if he has no income or housing then it's time to bounce because at least if he has income you can combine it and have a more stable relationship. Don't build him up either just make sure he has a way to get paid just in case you need to leave he won't go looking for you.
A lot of men don't understand boundaries and if you don't set any boundaries he will think he can do whatever the hell he wants to you if you allow it.
This is the one
I honestly think he's the reason why she is broke.
He made her broke I think.. She should leave him
Her man is spending her money and saving his because he's making sure he's set up nicely before he leaves her, Sis is his mule.
Disgusting
Nah.. he's spending his extra money on his "dream girl" Sidechick 🤷🏽♀️
Barbara the Builder!
@@quelquun2018😂
This.
He doesn't like her and is angry she's asking him for anything. She just needs to leave or kick him out and move on.
When men love women, the money flow reflects that love.
No it doesn’t. Wow you’ll never get married
@@Fever5Live215-gc7hx Says a cheap one.
@@Fever5Live215-gc7hxjust say you’re broke
@@Fever5Live215-gc7hxnone of the women are ever getting married that's a better pay back sense men incapable of love. Doesn't make sense to marry them.
Meh. I would say more what the girl at ~11:00 said. The generosity will flow. They can love you all you want and need, but if they don’t have the money they literally can’t demonstrate that love monetarily.
I remember I worked with a guy who had a girlfriend w/ a sick child who he would “lend” money to that she had to pay back before pay day. He was living in this woman apartment. At this point if y’all put up with it we shouldn’t care.
Some women really don't know better.
Never settle for 50/50 guy because 50/50 means he doesn’t like you. He’s with you because it’s convenient for him.
My itch with 50/50 is because it's never really 50/50, especially when they live together. For most men? they get a roommate who cooks, cleans and takes care of them and oh also gives out the cookie without much effort on his part. That shows that he doesn't really like or want her, she's just a convenient maid he can didle until his 'ideal' comes into the picture.
Thanks for that. I needed that.
Exactly
I don't think this is realistic. You as an adult should pay for yourself. If you love someone of course you can help each other but to expect a grown adult to pay your way is ridiculous. There is nothing wrong with splitting down the middle. Then men in these videos aren't doing that they being disgruntled and not wanting to share and using these ppl.
My boyfriend and I split things pretty much 50/50, but he's always offering to pay for me and I think he'd be fine paying for most things. He's a generous guy (and I'm a generous woman). We both work so I think it makes sense for us to split things 50/50. Of course eventually if we have kids, if I'm a stay at home parent he'll be paying 100% for a few years :P We'll have to be married for that to happen though. He also does all his own chores (we don't live together) and we make each other meals- we're both good cooks.
So I guess my point is that a guy is probably decent even if he wants 50/50, as long as he's also generous, does 50% of the housework (if both partners work full time) without being asked and is generally a good, reliable person.
The best situation is when you both want to do a lot for each other, and you BOTH go overboard trying to make each other's lives better :) But of course that can't happen before you know someone well and completely trust them.
Men will place hold a woman for a lifetime if he lacks the drive and confidence to go for what he truly wants. Do not confuse his presence and tenure as love or commitment
My 🐈 drying up from this video 😂
😂😂
🙏🏾. He couldn’t touch me.
In my opinion any man that fights with you over money doesn’t deserve your time because he needs to sort out his finances before he even thinks about a relationship. And also I think she shouldn’t be in a relationship right now she also needs to sort out her finances 🤷♀️
One, him exploding or getting mad at her for asking for money,especially for essentials or things under $50 when she is raising his kid is a red flag.
Two, the fact that even over $10 he gets upset with her may be him trying to train her to not ask at all.
Three, if she’s working 3 jobs and all her money is going to bills while he’s tight lipped about HIS earnings, huge 🚩🚩🚩.
He’s saving up for something, but not to marry her if he isn’t talking nuptial plans.
A man who gets mad at you for needing him or asking him for things, especially provisions, isn’t a man with your best interest at heart.
Exactly, she's nothing more than a baby mama in his eyes.
THEY don't need counseling because most likely men like him don't like it and won't listen. SHE NEEDS COUNSELING. And, yes, if you have to work three jobs like that with someone talking about marriage to you then YOU ARE BROKE. Also, IDGAF how young your child is YOUR CHILD CAN SENSE THAT SOMETHING IS WRONG. "How tf do you know, b!tch?" I was that young child who saw and sensed that things were WRONG WRONG WRONG. Being around a stressed momma and a stingy man, or vice-versa, contributes to PTSD, underearning (regardless of how much money you make!), etc. Make the move and get rid of him. Marriage will not fix this. I repeat... MARRIAGE WILL NOT FIX THIS. In fact, you marrying THAT PROBLEM will generate MORE PROBLEMS. Love is not enough and he certainly doesn't have any for you. Stop putting yourself and your child through hardship just because you need a man.
Marry men, not problems.
Marry men, not problems.
Marriage won't solve anything in that case. Stingy men are stingy. @@seraphilight
SCREAM THIS INTO HER EARS UNTIL HER EARDRUMS POP 😂🎉🎉🎉 love this.
They will argue about who will pay for counselling and she's too busy working three jobs to even see a therapist
To the woman in the stripe top telling the woman to get couples counseling. Who's gonna pay for THAT??! It ain't gonna be him 😂😂
One problem i have is that these new males have young women calling themselves 'females'. That word 'female' erks me. it definitely comes from him, "you females be always wanting my money". My ex-h was a generous man and i can still ask him for money. I will forever watch out for him and make sure he never goes without.
Ps..my father did this had issues with giving us(his chn)money.
She referred to women as females also. She's male identified, and that's why she's in the situation that she's in. She's not in her feminine.
Like a cat.
We need this word now that trans women are claiming womanhood, and will threaten suicide if you call them anything else.
@@Rice10120-Honestly, it’s not necessarily that. I use it all the time; as a result of, military service. I will note, I don’t use it on social media, for the reasons you’ve noted.
Notice that this kind of woman always refers to other women as “females”, but the men they reference are “men” and never “males”.
I do me. I have NEVER asked a man for anything. While it has been tough a few times in the past, it is so worth it when THEY ask "why did you buy another purse? How many do you need?" And I answer " you didn't pay for it, I didn't ask you for anything. You can ask when youre the one who pays"
That is all well and good but is off topic.
Even if you CAN pay for yourself, a man who truly loves you will offer to pay for those things. Speaking from experience.
4 months after I started dating my now husband. He saw me taking the bus in the cold and he couldn't stand it. Now, I already bought my yearly bus pass so I didn't have any trouble getting myself to and from work, but that wasn't the issue for him. His issue was I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO WAIT IN THE COLD FOR A BUS. So from that day forward he drove me to and from work every day. Eventually we moved to a different country and I started working from home, but the point is, this is an example of how I didn't need his help nor did I ask for it, but he did it anyway because he didn't want to see the woman he loves struggle in any shape, way, or, form. We've been married 10 years and I have a laundry list of similar stories.
Love that lol
Why is he asking about your spending if he’s not contributing 🧐? That’s not even a person I would need around.
Girl dont make his life easier by using your own money he gets your presence for FREEE? no way. If a man is not willingly spoiling you he doesnt love you.
It's not about the ability for you to provide for yourself but you shouldn't have to all the time. It sounds as if the men never provided value to your life...why even be in those relationships then?
With every story I hear on the internet about boys like this, it's a reminder that women truly are the providers and protectors of this world.
yes they are. women are natural providers and protectors. example: my mother and other mothers worldwide
I dated a brotha from another country. He told me a man should add to your life, not take away from it. It bothered him if I needed something and didn't ask. He would just do random things for me that would have me in tears because I never met anyone like that.
Please tell us which country this is where men actually like women
But you're no longer together so what happened? 🙄
@dahnie-el-aha-ha I broke off our engagement because my family didn't want me moving to another country. I should have went anyway.
@@ninaj.4885Damn. I’m so sorry to hear that.
I've been married to my husband for 14.5 years. Open communication about finances are a bare minimum. Y'all ain't gonna make it if you can't talk about the tough stuff calmly and respectfully. Anyone can talk about the easy stuff.
When I ask my husband for money, he always sends more than I need.
The difference between you and her is that is your HUSBAND not BOYFRIEND. Husbands provide but boyfriends do not and are not required to do so. She is a gold digger
@@alieshagatling_archiahopemmmm.... i think the question that needs to be asked here is, does boyfriend get husband privileges? Does he get an unpaid, live-in, on-call-24/7 maid + cook+ personal shopper + nanny for HIs child + personal s3x worker ?
If he is getting any or all of these rich-man's privileges from her, but can't give her $20, then he is the gold digger and she is the exploited. Labor isnt free. And free labor is slavery 🔗
@@alieshagatling_archiahope so then whats the point of a boyfriend lolz
@@ravnidara I don’t have to answer someone so ignorant
I don’t ask my husband for money because he gives it to me without me asking. He is never ever stingy. He ask me almost every day if I have everything I need. I’m not sure where women find some of these men. 🤔
Couple's counselors have said that successful and happy marriages have nothing to do with love. Some of the best ones they've seen have 2/3 things idealized in relationships, rather than just the 3rd of love. What are those two things? TRUST and RESPECT.
Even before we got married, my husband gets offended if I open my wallet to pay for anything in his presence! Unless we've had a discussion about what I was going to purchase and how much I am going to spend. He gives me the side eye. For my husband it is the masculine to him when I purchase things with my own money in front of him. He completely sees himself as my provider. You gotta know when to hold 'em and you got to know when to fold 'em. But most importantly you got to know what kind of man you're working with. Many of these dudes are pests that just want to nest and rest!
Hell he gives me his check! Cuz I'm the one that runs it to the bank! In fact he's currently telling me he wants me to have control of all of the finances! There is no excuse to be putting up with no skin Flint stingy ass bumb in 2024💅🍷
"Pests that just want to rest and nest" hear this all the time on burbnbougie. You watch her?
This a good man but what would happen if he went broke. The 50/50 thing is really emasculating and men should not expect to be referred to as or treated like a man if he can’t provide. Or expect to make decisions about anything as a man
It’s kind of gross
Honestly I think when a guy wants u they're going to not only treat u well but also ur loved ones. Like I was out with my sister and her bf and he took care of us both. Like get ur self a man who is not only generous to u, but also to those u love⚘️
Im less than 2 minutes in. And my first thought is how could she say using the money to take care of herself isnt good use of the money.
Shes saying she works so hard that she's willing to pick up 3 jobs, but spending the money she earns to take care of herself isnt a good use of that money?
I would say since she has so many jobs she needs to make self-care a top priority so she can keep going and she won't feel as emotional and burnt out.
I second this ✨ idk why people try and devalue the up keep or self care women do.
Happy New Year Priscilla and ladies. The first 🚩 is she calling women females. The second is being with a man that don’t want u to work, won’t babysit but won’t give u money. I thought we left this in 2023. These roommate situations are exhausting to watch.
I do not speak to men that call women " females" ...and I have never heard women call men " males"
I am a foreigner and maybe I do not understand it at all.
This woman does not even understand that she is not in a relationship.
Yeah. When she said "females" I no longer cared about her situation. She's a placeholder and her dumbass had a kid with him.
He doesn’t want you to work so he can deal with the kid.
He keeps his money to himself and explodes when you ask him for money.
He doesn’t tell you anything about his finances. Mostly likely broke or has serious debt.
Girl, run.
Maybe he pays for another woman parallelly her while using this woman as placeholder until his dream woman will be ready to harvest.
I'm a house spouse and I have equal access to all our finances. We have a budget but my husband is constantly spending extra money to provide things that i want -not need, want. If a man won't take care of your needs, wjen he has the ability to. you should really think about why you are with him.
The question highlights a lot of women who will do anything to remain in a relationship no matter how detrimental it is. As she has a son it is even worse because he will probably grow up expecting to have a struggle love relationship that his mother has. This woman needs to leave this man because he is not generous. A man wouldn't guilt you for working several jobs and then get into an argument about finances. Also I find with these type of people, they tend to block your blessings. I wouldn't be surprised after she leaves him she will probably a better paid job and more time for herself and then enter a healthy better relationship.
Yeesh! I just drove to LA and was planning on staying in an air bnb with family. By the time I drove down there I just wanted to be alone. I called my boyfriend and let him know I wanted to stay in a hotel. He just started laughing and said "I was going to ask why you were staying in an air bnb with them but I didn't want to disagree with your decision" and he let me know which of his credit cards I'm an authorized user on to put the transaction on.
Lol I never have to even question if I'm my boyfriend's dream girl because he literally gives me the world on a silver platter. He does make good money so money isn't really an issue for us but I think if it was he would at least talk to me kindly about the situation.
This relationship is costing her more than it's worth. Like why be in a relationship with someone that provides no benefit to you. Like it's not even just about being a provider but where's the support?
Nope, not when i was married. Not when I am now single. I budget like crazy and I would not explain anything to my ex when it was something needed. My ex used to think I was just spending money for no reason. He had no clue how much things costs, as far as running a house or having a child. Sister- run and make something of your life beyond a man! You are amazing and will do it!
I had that situation when I was married. I’m the type of person that is obsessive about stocking up. I couldn’t wait until my stock ran out. When it didn’t, he asked, when I was going to buy those things. I said, I’m not, you do it, since you think I’m spending too much. I bought name brand cleaning supplies and laundry essentials. Why did he bring home the cheapest items he could find 🤣. I had a stash of my favorites. I told him to not to wash my clothes. I now know, what to except and what not to, as it pertains to finances.
THREE JOBS, and still has to ask for 10- 50$ and is told no 🥴
😂😂😂😂 big facts
Leave. Simple. Just, ew no.
Yeah mine used to be like that... until i left him. Now he will give if i ask and sends me a monthly allowance. Its not lots but it certainly helps out. He will offer to pay for my nails when he has money. Hes finally paying dinner on a regular basis (its been over a year with the consistancy) Leave him sis, if he loves you, it will snap him out of it. But you have to treat him like you will leave at one mishap. Everyday, he needs to know you will walk out that door if you need to.
Ive also realised if he complains then hes got bills to pay that week he just doesnt want to tell me out of pride.
Sometimes, men get comfortable especially if you have kids. They see you as reliable because you HAVE to be for your children so they get comfy real quick acting like your teenage son. Kick him back out into reality. And see if he wakes up.
She left us with a lot of questions. Do they live together? Does he pay at least half of the existing fixed bills like rent and utilities? If a man is not willing to pay at least half, That means he is looking for a better deal than what he could get with a roommate. Why would you agree to that? Get a female roommate and split it. Like I said she left us with a lot of questions. At one point she said she had three jobs. Now we know men. How many men have an opinion about how much time the mother of their children spends with those children? How many men have opinions When it comes to children that are not biologically their own? Usually this only happens if he is put into the position to have to mind And care for that child. So was he going to work all day to pay At least half of the bills and then coming home to take care of her child? Where is the biological father in all of this? She is just giving us a little piece of The story I think.
She said that he keeps his money to himself. That’s all we need to know. Straight forward as it can get. If it was 50/50 she would have said so
For some men it is a huge turn-off to the point of relationship ending when they think the person they're dating is mistreating their kids, even with no relation. Shows lack of maturity on the bad parent's part at the very least, and adults aren't about that.
However, combined with everything else she said I bet you anything she's a side-piece and hasn't realized it, or the girlfriend he keeps to fulfill his needs while he's screwing around. He wants to make sure he knows where she is, and is starting to groom her to accept worse.
@@Letstalkaboutit2323 well, maybe they don't live together and he's just "visiting". Things are not clear - I completele agree with the comment above. Well, anyway, if he's visiting and eating meals, then he should cover the groceries at least ('cause the cooking time and effort is hers) . If they live together, he's gotta cover at least half of the rent. It's not clear if he's doing it and she needs money on top of that or if he's just living at her expense.
“At least pay half?” 🤣 That’s a roommate, with no benefits. No thank you! I do well and am comfortable paying everything alone. It wouldn’t benefit me to bring half into my life. Half, means I won’t be able to increase my net worth. Let’s be honest, when they pay half, they definitely won’t even do half in finances, or anything else.
I don't need to even know that. If I am with a male as a wife/girlfriend he should be providing or I'll rather be single, end of discussion. And she even gave him a kid without marriage contract and without any commitment 🤦 She is really slow. Males don't respect women when they aren't providing and taking care of her, now he don't see her as something valuable. And she is still asking us instead of putting him on child support and leaving. Some of these women really like this struggle love bs. If you ask nothing, you get nothing.
Molly, you in Danger Girl. RUN!!!!!!
I’m not saying to hurt that girl feelings, but I gotta be honest he just wanna go 50-50 with her let alone not liking her as much but he can’t have it both ways so if he don’t wanna her to work as much, why can’t you come out of his pocket like come on, now and men kill me with this bullshit
He seems like hes saving for someone else. We see that he's not helping you.😢🎉
She would be better off single.
I hope she leaves that headache, he trippin off $10-50 but dont want her to her to work but aint even trying to budget or plan. I've been there, he aint gone do his part and don't want to grow up. 1 person in a relationship should never have to get 3 jobs by themselves. And how do they need a babysitter??He need to care for the baby while she's at work
LEAVE HIM.
First of it's nice to see a woman work and pull her own weight what's not nice is her man being Mr crabs and not wanting to pay for shit he needs to pull his half and pay and help out in the house it really doesn't sound like he wants a partner at all just a house m8
Emotional attachment… it is a powerful drug.
Stupidity*.
I’m married, usually I work but I had a baby last may, and I’ve been home with baby since. He pays for everything and gives me money. I get a random amount when he gets paid, and I tell him when my credit cards are due, or when the girls need money for this or that. I think the key is getting with a man who wants to provide, and don’t do wifey duties before your a wife! Stop shacking up with them and having babies before marriage, when you visit his place, don’t clean up the whole place! I agree with the women in the vid! He don’t like her! It took me years but my husband consistently tells me his money is OUR MONEY, and I can take the money and do whatever with it because it’s mine too
Yessss Awesome Congratulations Mommy ❤❤❤
@@Victoria-qk3mu thank you 😊 ❤️❤️❤️
I’m not even in a relationship with this guy and he wants to give me his check- says that’s the best way we should run a household 🤓
If a man is Mr Crabs, then you shouldn't be dealing with him, let alone having kids with him.
Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her.
its difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but i couldn't just let her go i did all i could to get her back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual counsellor who helped me bring her back.
Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counsellor, and how do i reach her?
Her name is *Shelly renee white* , and she is a great spiritual counsellor who can bring back your ex.
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online. impressive.
Gurl if all your money is going towards bills then you are SUPER BROKE
Also with 3 jobs where does she even find time to spend with her son AND a boyfriend?!
I'm with the lady in the white headband, she said everything I'm thinking
That 1st girl is a PLACEHOLDER. That dude is stacking his paper while he builds himself up so he can leave. The 50/50 mess is not a romantic relationship. He's a ROOMMATE
I don’t have to ask for money. He makes sure I’m good. He know I won’t ask if I needed it. I’ll go without!💯🙌
My question is...what will the responses she gets from other women do for her situation? Lol. She obviously knows it's wrong , which is why she's asking. But what is she doing to change it? If she's still with him, then it's useless for her to come on social media just to complain about someone she isn't willing to remove from her life.
Meh 🤷♀️ at least someone can learn from her misfortune 😂
I Learned My Lesson In My Blessing When I Left My Ex-Fiancé To Be A Single Mother Since He Wasn't Pulling His Weight....I'll Be Damned To Be A Single Mother && Still Dealing With Low Caliber Men Around My Child 🫠 That's Just A Whole Other Level Of Embarrassment
Her question made me sad. My partner put my finger print on his bank login, and credit card. Girl needs to drop him.
My boyfriend lost his job last year in march and he was so upset because he felt like he could provide for me like a man would… soon he got a new job he was like he got it and pays for everything he can just like before … I mean we still go 50/50 on bills but if he was making more money in a better economy I know he would let me pay for anything
Since march 2023??? Uuum yea ok
How is 50/50 and provide for you in the same sentence?
@@whyme7862-🍿🥤👀 I’m waiting for the answer with you!
@@whyme7862😂😂😂 doesn't make sense
@@whyme7862Right. OP is so confused. If she is paying for half the bills, homeboy is NOT a provider.
It’s so hard to find men who want to be an equal partner or “provider” in an equitable situation. It feels like half these men want to nest and rest or act like king baby tyrant just cause they’re the sole income provider while she provides literally everything else!
The older lady that said he doesn’t like her is spot on, this same type of man will get a “preference” and will jump through hoops proving his worth he just isn’t willing to do it for you.
Not only is he not a partner/provider, he’s a saboteur.
Me personally if I’m not benefiting from a relationship whether it’s romantic, friendship or family I’m not going to waste my time being in it. No relationship should be one sided. That’s how I roll, I don’t play that. If a man isn’t making my life easier then he needs to go. 🤷🏽♀️ I’m already stable on my own so he needs to bring something to the table. I feel sorry for a lot of women out here that choose to endure struggle love just for the sake of having a man in her life. 🤧🤦🏽♀️
I appreciate my ex because he taught me to check in with myself to see if I’m happy in the relationship/situation or just doing something just to do it. A lot of people don’t assess their feelings and just go with the flow of life.
16:40 I know this woman was coming from a good place, but telling someone struggling to pay bills "get counseling" is insensitive and oblivious. Counseling, therapy, etc are luxuries. OP is just trying to put food on the table and pay rent. If she's asking her man for $10 or $20, she can't afford counseling, and we know her man won't pay for it either.
Is going to the doctor for an infection a “luxury”? Cause that’s what this situation is- a parasitic infection. She is so close to seeing that, but sometimes you need an outside, professional perspective to take the blinders off. Often 1 or 2 appointments is all it takes.
100% using her. If he is living there then half that rent is his, he needs to be paying for half the groceries or more if that’s THEIR kid and be covering 1 or 2 or the bills at least if they can’t agree on what to split on.
This is why you should date a man who loves you more than you love him. I know this sounds unfair, but we all know how much women LOVE a man when they love him, will give him the literal skin off her back. And if that's the case, you need to find a man who will give you his skin, bones, and a couple of organs. Maybe that means you stay single for a long time, but that's better than being with someone who doesn't care about you.
14:52. Have important convos in the beginning she said. Idk if im just jaded or not. I have always dated for marrige and had or tried to have those convos in the beginning to make my intentions clear and put everything out so i and the man can decide if we are right for one another. Sounds logical right? Well the "more logical species" has done nothing but lie, divert the convo, brush off topics, gas light, say im too serious etc...and they wonder why we didnt work out. My husband is the ONLY man that came to ME with his ontentions and expectations. He played no games. I had the important convos with him, because some things he never thought about like finacials past/present/possoble future debt etc.
In the beginning:
1. Ask important questions and get to know the man
2. Set boundaries early
I have learned the hard way..better late than never!
He's one of those emergency sirens going off when a tsunami or earthquake is about to hit.
I'm 23. Been with my bf (he's a year older) since I was 17. He got a high paying job to help take care of me. He gets me gifts without asking, takes me out to eat and tells me to get whatever I want, he pays a lot of gas to see me (he lives a couple states away), sends me food if I say I'm hungry, and he will send me as much money as I say I need if I ask him. I'm only in my early 20s. Please don't sell yourself short. It doesn't have to be that way. I got lucky.
This situation requires a different solution. If you’re not married to him, your money is your money. You need to separate finances IMMEDIATELY. Plus it does not sound like he budgets or have financials goals or YOUR financial goals in mind. He maybe spending your earnings and this is considered financial abuse. He has not earned the privilege to lead you including the finances and honestly you should leave him, he is a DUSTY. Once your finances are separated, budget for the next 24 months. Pay off all your debt, save as much as possible, pre-plan what you want to spend and create a sinking funds, and take care of the child’s needs first. You’ll do fine, the recovery process takes time.
I've been in 2 relationships with men who handle finances differently. My 1st ex gave me his card and pin. I just had to make sure he had his protein shakes, gym membership was paid and debit orders go through.
My current man has never disclosed his finances but he took over the big bills without asking me😅 he pushes me to accomplish my ambitions and I never need to ask for anything
All the people doing stitches. Have different situations... but have very valid points. Of a example, of a true provider.
He is most definitely financially abusing her
Argue with you over $50 🤣🤣🤣😭 I do not know how many ways and actions he can do to show you he doesn't like you? It is just convenient for him being in your space using up your resources. If you are living with a man and you can not even discuss the finances of how the house will run. How could you still hope to marry him?
I'm single now but before I left my ex about 2 years ago he used to be like I have a $2000 bonus check take it. Or I'll give u $80,000 as a down payment for a house. Or I'll buy u a laptop but he did buy me the latest iPhone then. Like no I never dated a guy who didn't wanna give me all his $. The stingy bfs defiantly are saving up while using their current gfs for services then they'll bounce when they're stable enough and date who they really want.
We have to remind each other that we always have option and there is NEVER a justified reason or need to settle ❤️
Hope you feel better, thanks for the videos!
I appreciate it!
She’s the one putting herself in the situation; she has a choice but if she’s taking it, don’t blame the deadbeat!!….there’s so much advice you can give a woman with self esteem issue with a man; why continue being with a man that has no positive impact in your life!!!????
My motto for 2024: he would and he will
If he’s garbage when you met him, he’s going to stay garbage in the relationship. That’s the thing about guys. They’ve been the same since birth, but it’s us women that are always accommodating and changing to fit what they like. We always picking up the slack to help them out only for it to backfire in the end.
This is so wild. My ex was such a trash bf and retrospectively there clearly wasn’t a future there. Anywho, when we first started dating I made like 4x what he made, by the time we broke up he made 10-20k less than me per year. He always gave me money/offered to pay for whatever; that was NEVER an issue and he NEVER complained about it to me or other people. He paid household expenses, bought stuff for me, gave me money to buy stuff for my self, paid bills, paid for dates etc and I was usually making significantly more than him the entire time. Never questioned the amount or anything.
I’m leaving a lot of context out but it as a janky relationship to the max but girl! That man doesn’t even like you as a friend!
Edit: I went to her TikTok page, she not leaving that man smdh, and she justified all the stuff to herself instead of listening to the people in the comments and then said basically we need to mind our own business. Welp 🤷🏾♀️
So he wants full access to her but it’s stingy, secretive and argumentative… yuck 🤢… she should get rid of him instead of asking the internet questions..
Best relationships are ones you live in own place
You better off being single
🤣Do you females that's what the first lady said. Her even addressing other ladies that way says alot. I have no advice because they are going to still stay. I am not working 3 jobs and having a MAN thats CRAZY no thank you.
This part. At this point in 2024, let's just point at them and be like "That's an example of a bad relationship, ladies", but I'm all out of advice for women who choose to remain in situations that they can't stop complaining about.
I remember being 19 moving in with a guy , when the month rolled around I asked him for the rent, he proceeded to tell me if I ask him for anything he’d beat my a$$, I paid to end that lease and moved out while he was in Miami
Haha I’d love to see his face when he returned looking for u. 💪🏾🙌🏾
So happy you got away from him and you had the mind to leave when he wasn't around
Very dangerous man, when you are 19 to be smart to leave and safely too, well done
What the fuck….
You MOVED in with him tho….
@@nwalden5744sure did and left, and I’m warning other women of my mistake! So?
2024 we TEACHING these men how to treat us.
We setting standards, boundaries, and expectations.
And if you been with the man , you are opening your mouth and speaking your feelings, then you are holding him accountable for the discussion.
And last but not least, we not listening to our friends about their relationships especially when you offered solutions to her, yet she goes right back to him . 🥴
And let me add and validate the lady with bonnet and a lot of brothers. She is so correct. My dad told me growing up to pay attention to the whole man. Look at his family dynamics, pay attention to how he spends, pay attention to how he treats others. How is his work ethic? You have to ask questions and observe. This goes both ways , but since video is about the man I’ll stick with that .
Girl STAND TF UP LMAOO 😂😂😂😂
For the women buying grocery for her and the man she was dating… I kinda of went through the same thing and I stopped feeding him. I told him he provided them lemons and I’ll make the lemonade and he started buying groceries weekly. I kinda felt bad but at the same time I realized I was frustrated because I’m a single mom providing for my house and my children and this grown man so no you can not eat at my house and your not contributing..
These conversations always confuse me. He pays for everything, and I don't ask for money: I know where every dime goes. Asking a man for money just sounds stressful.
Edit: married for 10 years.
He gives me whatever I ask for mostly. But I don’t ask for much except food or going out.
He doesn't want her to work 3 jobs, and he don't want to give her money? He is a loser, simple.
I never had a man offer to pay for my hair or nails. I can’t remember the last time a man has bought me flowers. They have no problem wanting sex though.
The desperation… why dis I keep hearing her talk about marriage. How are you going to marry someone you’re struggling with. This is madness.