I married into an Indian Singaporean family, and the utter shock of how everyone treated my unmarried female sisters still makes my skin crawl. And there's always a creepy shift from when they are teenagers (no dating at all) to them turning like 25 and suddenly if they don't get a husband asap they are spinsters. Then it's the ordeal of the parents approving of their boyfriends, which is another nightmare of its own. Since I come from a completely different cultural background (Im from Latin America) I can get away with voicing my contrary opinions, but I ache for how poorly my sisters have been treated.
I'm Singaporean Indian! I'm facing through the motions with the shame from relatives because I'm 28 and I'm not married with 3 kids yet... LOL I haven't even had a long term relationship yet, marriage can wait. It is very painful unfortunately.
Interesting. I never saw Nadia as the villain. I didn't think Shekar was a good match to begin with and I remember her confusion about their lack of exclusivity and it made sense why she "ended" it. As for Aparna...so as a blunt person myself who rides that fine line between being direct vs being an a*hole I now think it's possible Netflix collected all the a*hole parts and put them together. And that's a lot to take in and WILL make you look terrible. (But it's also really funny and entertaining!)
I honestly think society as a collective can’t handle women who speak what they are thinking about and actually go for what they want and actually have the courage to turn their wants and needs into reality.
Aparna came across very defensive and rude at first but i actually realized she just has a dry sense of humor. I think she has zero time for being patronized and why should she? People were just mad because she wasn't desperate the way they expected her to.
Tbh i actually thought they were more lenient on the men than the women. And the women they idolised the most in the show were like these fair beautiful pure angles who were demure and everything ppl want an Indian bride to be. I just feel they wanted to cement that archaic image rather than do something and change it
Same! I didn't have anything Indian on my radar but when this channel was recommended to me I dont know why but I'm super interested in what she has to say and it's causing g me to look at things from a different perspective.
I'm shocked your channel doesn't have, like, 100 times more subscribers. Your content is so polished and interesting, and you do a great job creating visual interstitials that add to the vibe of the videos. It's only a matter of time before this channel blows up even more. Please keep making these videos! I'm not Desi, so it's been a great learning experience for me to better understand feminism from that perspective.
Ah, I just realized your channel started less than two months ago. It's amazing how many subscribers you've picked up so far. This is only the beginning! 🎉
Omg yess! I feel like this applies with Muslim women and the dating sphere too! I've been told to lower my standards so much in terms of what I would like - since I am independent I would like someone who is independent too. And also, I wouldn't go on a date with someone I'm not physically attracted to and then told 'you're too shallow'.
Re: Nadia. I looked at Vishal as the villain. He flee his ass out to where she was just to break up. That was messed up. He also do what all guys do, he banged her and bounced.
If a man on the show had high standards and expressed not wanting to spend ALL his time with his wife, no one would bat an eye. But when Aparna does… 🙄
Except they did paint her with a negative brush and people did crap on her lol. The thing is though as an introvert that likes a lot of me time myself....I get the impression that Aparna just really DOESNT want to be married. It would be neat if her culture/family just left it at that because I just watched a bestie buckle under this expectation and she's like the Wish version of herself!
Wrong! That dude would get torn apart! My problem with Arpana is that she clearly didn't want to be there. If you want a husband that's to professional and busy as you are, that's basically someone you're never gonna see. I get the feeling that Arpana sees marriage no differently than academic achievement, another thing to accomplish.
@@varun009I'm honestly the same way. Not wanting to be around my future husband all the time. And i only feel that way because i enjoy my solitude a lot more. Besides it doesn't have to be that he's always traveling. They can just live in different houses. People are doing it and are getting positive outcomes from it. Relationships doesn't have to be the normal standard of society. You can mould your relationship in a way that is both beneficial to you and your partner. Besides let's not pretend that dudes haven't gotten away with i hate my wife jokes all the time.
The issue with Aparna isn’t that she’s independent, brave and knows what she wants. That’s a bad take. It’s not belittling or an attempt to stifle or restrict her by acknowledging that she is dismissive, rude and uncompromising. These are traits in either gender that make relationships incredibly difficult. By her age this is something you would expect to have learned but the irony is despite her awareness of this, she seems unwilling or even defiant to change. That’s why people tend to dislike her. Not just because she is blunt or direct.
@@MissJadeScorpion Her mother has transferred all of her trauma onto her daughter to the point where her daughter can not realise what a good man is anymore, because her mother lacked all the choice and now her daughter has too much choice
But there are plenty of ppl who are married who refuse to change or improve. Moreover, they edit and show what they want to portray. We don't actually know them. Don't take reality tv as actual reality😂
But, what if everything on your checklist can't all be found in one person? There are things I want in a partner, but not everything can be found in the same person. Basically, I'm determined that it's impossible to find the right person. Maybe that's just me. Still single at 54.
@@ouestlelivre If you don’t mind being single then you’ll stick with your check list. I’m not settling either. I’m happy by myself and if someone comes along that I see fit I will proceed but I’m not settling for 60% especially pay that woman.
There isn't a positive light of being a mean person. You can be direct and kind. There's nothing wrong with having standards BUT you don't need to be mean. Again, there is nothing wrong with being DIRECT but you can still be kind.
I watched this before watching the actual show, so I went in determined to like her, but she made it a bit difficult. I liked her independence and her attitude towards dating. I really liked that she knew what she wanted and wouldn't waste her time if she wasn't interested, but she was so rude. I didn't think her demands were unreasonable, but the way she treated people was not ok. I even agreed with some things she said, but the way she said them was awful. Instead of simply expressing that she didn't like something, she made it seem like it was a character flaw and there was something wrong with you for liking it. I remember being so confused on her date with Shekar(?) when she kept saying things were going well because she just kept putting him down and didn't seem to like him at all. Obviously Shekar felt the same because he didn't want to see her again. I do like how she handled the rejection and I will always admire her confidence, but she felt like one of those people that say they're blunt when they're just an asshole. However, towards the end, I feel like she got a better edit. The show made it seem like she was being more open minded and really making an effort with her options even if they didn't work out. I only watched season 1 and don't agree with the outdated values the show promotes, but I feel like you weren't telling the whole story.
Now you have all my original thoughts from this show coming back to me. Back when this first aired I caught the first season and couldn’t shake these thoughts loose: 1) This is business. Netflix is gagging to get a foothold in the Indian and Asian market, Aunty is low key doing this to win new clients (the parents mostly, let’s keep it real) in a new expanding market. 2) I had to do a real side eye, coz if she‘s the best international matchmaker, why doesn’t she have a rolodex full of Indian-American men? Why do two of the lady participants (who are so different in personality) end up on a date with the same guy? There are 4.5 million Indian Americans living in the US. 3) I would love to see Aunty acknowledge that this is a different market, and make on-the-fly adjustments to her successful process to get things going. This lackluster „you take what you get“ attitude (couched as you might only get 60-70% of your list) might work in India… even though she actually has a different tone there. I was actually appalled at her treating Indians in the Diaspora as less than. And their acceptance of it.
This show is a bit triggering for me personally. I am now in " spinster age " . But I remember the comments on my height weight body shape income the feeling that you are just an object in shelf all of that I don't regret my decision of not lowering my standards one bit.
@Khushi There was no shaming here, I just pointed the reality! And that will be reality for most women who are devouring the “feminist churan” sold by the west!
I never saw Aparna as diifficut. However Sima aunty is highy manipulative and gasighting person. And when they called him a loser, I understood it was more because of his type, withno plans for the future and just doing adventerous stuff. He didnt have any personality either. Aparna also said in a video that he was litterally mean to her and made her cry. Also it IS always the honest and strong girls who get portrayed as difficult and negative. If you manage to be passive aggressive and submissive, you'd do just fine. People see a strong, graceful woman and think about 1000 of ways to break her down.
As an Indian woman I wasn’t a huge fan of Aparna on the show. Not because of her standards etc, but because of how she treated people and her attitude. I recognize they’ve edited the show to make her look a certain way, but not everything is edited in that way. I do empathize with her frustrations though ❤️ I feel bad for Nadia, she so desperately wants to be loved, but doesn’t know how to love herself. I see my old self in her. Edit: I’m very happy she seems to have found love and I really hope it works out ❤❤
I totally understand and was with you, until I checked out Aparna’s TikTok, where she actually seems like quite a reasonable person. Especially after how they portrayed Nadia, I really started doubting everything tbh ❤️
I never saw Nadia that way but imo Aparna did come off rude and on the dates just not as good company? And that's speaking as someone who also hates beaches and doesn't want to be with a spouse 24/7. Also not sure what is career driven about her, she actually seemed pretty not driven in that area to me, too. Hated her job but didn't seem to have other ambitions other than travelling. Which is fine but she also came off very pretentious talking about that. Her conversation at times came off like she had no interest in the guy, was very awkward, so I would not be shocked at all if she doesn't get second dates. Maybe she's trying to be funny in her sarcastic demeanor and be like someone with a dry, witty humor but not everyone can wear that well and if that was her aim - she doesn't.
I actually liked Aparna and Nadia. Both of them exuded self-confidence and comfort with who they are. Nadia and Aparna have every right to choose a partner whom they have a special connection and are attracted to. Afterall they are trying to meet their special someone with whom they spend their lives with. Honestly I loved Nadia.... she came across as a really nice person who is not afraid to be vulnerable.
Yeah even if I find Aparna kind of abrasive or whatever there’s ABSOLUTELY NO REASON to direct vitriol towards her on the internet. Like okay, just leave her alone. The biggest reason to go on IMM is to make $$$$. Aparna is now floating in cash with book deals, brand endorsements and speaking engagements. Nadia is still the same and she does say that Shekhar did NOT make a move. If I met someone as beautiful and talented as Nadia under such circumstances I’d immediately make a move and make it clear that I’m not interested in just being friends or something). Shekhar should’ve made his intentions clear. And what happened with Nadia and Vishal doesn’t justify casting her as the “villain”. Yeah it sucks when someone you like doesn’t feel the same way but that’s life. Nobody is entitled to romance or someone else’s time 🤷♀️
I hate this show because it glorifies the Indian matchmaking process which is rife with casteism and sexism. Not to mention, Sima Taparia can't even get one proper match and pretends to be a matchmaker. So she asks everyone to "compromise", she is a proper businesswoman only there for the money and manipulates everyone in the process.
I felt aparna was childish, but seriously she was fine. Lol. She is very direct and she worked for it. Her attitude was fine once you consider that Netflix edited her out to make her seem worse.
I don't see them neither as villains nor as self-confident women. Aparna worked a lot on herself throughout the seasons and she got a lot more likeable. To me, they both have problems to open up and be vulnerable. It's not uncommon and many of us can learn from their journey.
Wow, when I watched the show I was already irritated by the editing but I’m so glad to watch this video and learn the truth about Nadia. I do indeed feel bad for her & Aparna, they were done dirty. Kinda off topic but Rinkle(who was matched with Arshneel) was so charming and sweet. I’m straight but if I were Arshneel I totally would’ve proposed 😂
Aparna is the villain? I thought she was hilariously honest and shockingly nice and charming on her dates. I love her! she needs her own show. Idc that Sima auntie doesn’t like her bc I don’t really care for Sima . I like Aparna a lot more than Sima 😂😂
Aparna's abrasiveness was grating and dramatic, but I'm sure we're only seeing a specific edit. She needs someone who can handle her energy all in good fun, and I respect her for not tailoring her personality to fit a "good girl" narrative. One minor suggestion--referring to these women as "girls" comes across as infantilizing, especially when in the context of dating and marriage.
But didn’t Nadia just told Sema she’s seeing another younger man then sema told her you need to break up with your boyfriend first didn’t that happened?I’m confused so how they are already broke up but at the same time she speaking about both men at the same time and Sema told her to clear things up..??!
I thought Aparna was fantastic! She is witty, authentic and so much fun! She is a role model for all young girls all around the world - please don't settle and compromise on things you value the most in life.
Aparna is direct, abrasive, stuck in her ways, stubborn, judgmental of her dates and picky-if we had a man on the show with the same characteristics, he would also be hard to match, seen as arrogant and just plain unlikeable. I don't think she was vilified-she vilified herself. If you want to be liked, be likeable. Or don't be surprised when you are perceived as the things you are. There is a huge difference between being assertive and direct and being rude, curt and dismissive of others. As for Nadia, I didn't see her story as being vilified at all. She just seemed to be dating and learning as she goes along-like we all do! There can be so much miscommunication and mixed feelings in dating and that is normal. I think she is a lovely person and I hope she finds happiness :)
I literally only watched Season 1 because of Apurna. I didn't even know there was a Season 2, and now that I do, I'm only going to watch it yet again because of this Queen. She seriously carried the whole show lollll. #QueenApurna ~* #PeopleDidntLikeJesusEither ~*
I agree. The only person I enjoyed truly was Aparna, but I knew they'd villainize her because misogyny. Also, doesn't the matchmaker see how much she's revealing herself to be ineffective and a total scam by asking women to compromise and telling them they'll only get 60% of what they ask for? Lol. That's a hell of an admission.
I didn’t liked Aparna because she was rude I think and getting an old lady for matchmaking is a bad idea. The new season is a great example of that where people found great partners without the help of Sima.
I’ve never seen this show, but it seems like reality TV is anything but. I really feel for these women who were traumatized for the sake of entertainment. This is the second video of yours I’ve seen, and I really appreciate what I’ve seen so far. I like learning about feminist perspectives different from my own experience. New subscriber who will be catching up on your content to learn more. Take care.
I think the show actually shows much of the reality of arranged marriage and indian culture, you are marring a stanger practically and much of what they know about you is whats on paper. Also, they villanize women because (shocker) thats how indian culture and most of other cultures are sexist, women loose value when they get to a certain age, if they are not pretty enough or amenable enough, those shallow characteristics are what may fasten a relationship with strangers. In the case of Aparna, i comend her for her values, but if she sees no colour or cares about feminism, maybe what would be best for her is not an indian arranged marriage. In the case of Nadia, i do think that they did her dirty...
Better to die unmarried with close friends, community and contentedness with you life than in a bad marriage with kids you couldn't raise right (because doing it alone in a bad marriage isn't great) and isolated from others because you were constantly attending to a marriage that didn't work.
Muslim Bengali guy from London here (I only state this for a little context). I remember when this aired my friends said the same thing about Nadia how Karma caught up with her and when I watched it, I actually felt so satisfied for letting my boy Shekar down like that, especially when he said he's gone off to cry. After watching your video I truly feel manipulated to which I thought I was less susceptible at at aged 34. I can't believe the timeline on Nadia's relationship and feel horrible to think I was happy when she was crying on screen. Shame on me.
As a guy the best thing I like about women are how they uplift each other , verbal support, and empathize with each other in any matter . My guy friend will show me the mirror, tell me exactly what’s wrong with me and tell me to suck it up .
honestly , you can have standerds in dating only during your prime.once you hit the wall hard you are left at the best with leftovers(if you are still lucky to have them yet).Also relationship is also about mutual understanding and compromises.Last, no one is perfect.
I didn‘t find Apurna abrasive at all. I thought she was a hoot! She had a lovely deadpan sense of humor that had me rolling. So I was surprised that she went for a second season. What struck me is how Aunty and this show just didn’t know what to do with her, which maybe speaks to the situation of Indian women/immigrant women growing up in the West with conflicting values, but also the limitations of the matchmaking system.
Reality TV and reality dating TV has been around for 2.5 decades now. Being surprised that events are out of order or that ppl with dry sarcastic wit get villain edits is like being surprised that Marvel movies use green screens and wires. It's willfully naive of both the cast and the audience to expect otherwise.
For people blabbering that it is Indian culture and the entire country is somehow regressive, let me tell u they all live in america and are american citizens and they represent nothing of what happens in India and I assure u none of the Indians takes responsibilty of their actions.
I wonder what you think of the movie Wedding Season and similar portrayals of matchmaking in modern day times? I heard somebody complain that the main character in it still ending up with someone at the end is reinforcing the stereotypes that women can't just be 'happy, single and unbothered' but I feel like, it's a romantic comedy, it's supposed to end like that otherwise it wouldn't be a 'romantic' comedy but I do understand what they mean, especially with reality shows like Indian Matchmaking using undercover means to villainize single women.
Im happily married and i dont see my husband everyday.im in Seattle and he in Washington.So its like we are legally dating and suprising the other when we show up unannounced.Its exciting,fun and our marriage is better now.i think i know why more ppl LAT.Marriage is what the couple make it to be.no one else business or concern.
I think most people didn’t like Aparna’s personality not her standards. She was negative and uptight. There was just something about her attitude that made her unapproachable and draining. However Nadia was more chill and playful but she chose to ditch Shekar for Vishal over surface level attraction and faced the consequences of that later which was very fitting lol.
So did Aperna got a Villain edit or was she portrayed as herself. Is not the her standards that are the problem, is her attitude, she doesn’t even want to spend a lot of time with her future husband. I think she should live an American life and date casually on her terms with a man that is a Avoidant, Super picky and who hates almost everything! So no one is saying for her that she has to changed; she can stay the same, not grow, not changed and be herself, but she also has to live with the consequences to be “Herself”.
Lol you just ignore how aparna and her mom called her perfectly nice first date a LOSER on international television for no reason. Like fine you don’t like him that’s cool Just say he’s not a match to ridicule him together and laugh at him is pathetic and rude behavior but that doesn’t fit your narrative so you’ll ignore it
I did not like Aparna. My mom was very direct and tactless but was caring, soulful and empathetic. Arpana did not even want a guy with a sense of humor! She came across as narcissistic, materialistic without empathy, soul, or charm.
I absolutely love this show. I think aunty Seema is very honest with her clients. The show is tailored for a specific market, I was surprised to see Aparna return for s2, I thought she was done with matchmaking. If she didn’t agree so much, why keep doing the show? I would of rather see all different stories from aunty Seema, as she is the main person…
Aparna is a no-nonsense person and for a lot of people, especially Indians ,thats very hard to digest. Also she is very clear what she wants and our society really pedastalises bare minimum men, so a woman like that is very, very scary to Indian men. However, i do think she was very awkward and needs to work on that. Nadia and Shekar are both amazing people but Nadia didn't want him and thats okay. She isn't obligated to be with him.
You should check the jewish version. I'll tell you something, I love these shows although I know about the cringe fest on every episode and how scripted some look. The dates they have are all very awkward and lack authenticity, but it's the details about their culture what I like to see. The jewish version is a little less interesting, but there are things in the first two episodes that I didn't know about jewish culture, I'm actually learning here.
Aparna is not a villain. She's funny. I don't like her mom, though. Nadia was a hypocrite. Strong independent women should strongly consider that they might remain independent. They might be happier that way.
Nadia was more of a “villain” only because she is saying she wants marriage but is doing things that indicate the opposite. She’s Chasing a whirlwind romance. Sima was actually spot on with saying she’s not ready. And the way she described the “break up” with Shekar was obviously a lie. She dumped him for that young guy who played in her face. I can’t believe she let a guy 7 years her junior play her
Hi yusra, I am from south Asian background and have a different opinion then you. I don’t think the show was “villanizing”either of these women or specifically portraying anything with mal intentions. In regards to Aparnas case she is difficult to pair with and stubborn which is why that was coming up so often. Unfortunately our society has these structures in place where a woman needs to get married and live a harmonious married life. Times are changing and of course you don’t need to live traditional way hence the way she is it isn’t the norm but nothing bad with that either. She’s perfectly allowed to be herself the way she is as of course she is successful and completely independent of a man. Thus she doesn’t really need to anything other than herself. Nadia is a wonderful girl and unfortunately got caught in a misfortune incident. Again I don’t think the show was portraying anything then otherwise of what happened. She was following her gut instinct and it backfired.
I rewatched the season, Nadia clearly is telling her friends about her situation with Shekar and then has a discussion about shekar and Vishal with sima and her parents. I am not sure where you are getting your 1.5 years difference between these two events from.
Personally, no one is a villain in this show to me. As a married woman of 10 years and in my early 30s: People these days are way too picky and value unimportant things. The subtle egos have to go. "Standards" are so high to the point where it's grandiose behavior. Often times you find "amazing-somethings" in your partner that you never knew existed to even be a part of a list. The List should be 3-4 core elements to a partner you cannot live without. For the rest---> people should be open-minded and give grace to goodness that comes their way. 💕 Loved your commentary!
Love the show, love the drama and the problem is not the Matchmaking per se, but the entire culture. Asian, Middle Eastern and part of South America cultures vilinize single women, yes, they're called names, they're mocked, they're even feared, that's just a fact. It's just wishful thinking that a culture followed by billions of people will change because americans think it's offensive. It's just delusional. Indian Matchmaking didn't even touch the topic of bleaching skin, that is super nomal in some Asian countries because nobody wants to marry the "dark skinned girl". It's hard, but it is what it is.
The thing about the American women is they sign up for Indian Matchmaking and say they want a husband, but they don’t really. Not the way Sima means it. Even in season two, Nadia says “Find me a BOYFRIEND,” and Sima gets very offended. They go on a few dates, but they carry all their years of dating experience with them, and when they don’t find exactly what they’re looking for, they switch back to dating apps. And everyone blaming editing for how Aparna appears, they can only edit in what she actually says. She wasn’t very nice to the guys she found herself either.
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I married into an Indian Singaporean family, and the utter shock of how everyone treated my unmarried female sisters still makes my skin crawl. And there's always a creepy shift from when they are teenagers (no dating at all) to them turning like 25 and suddenly if they don't get a husband asap they are spinsters. Then it's the ordeal of the parents approving of their boyfriends, which is another nightmare of its own. Since I come from a completely different cultural background (Im from Latin America) I can get away with voicing my contrary opinions, but I ache for how poorly my sisters have been treated.
@Mel C That’s so sad.
I'm Singaporean Indian! I'm facing through the motions with the shame from relatives because I'm 28 and I'm not married with 3 kids yet... LOL I haven't even had a long term relationship yet, marriage can wait. It is very painful unfortunately.
@@m0nz13Ur so right! It’s so easy to become jaded and “damaged goods.” Better to wait, not rush.
Some cultures give importance to marriage and some don't, what's so triggering in that.
Interesting. I never saw Nadia as the villain. I didn't think Shekar was a good match to begin with and I remember her confusion about their lack of exclusivity and it made sense why she "ended" it. As for Aparna...so as a blunt person myself who rides that fine line between being direct vs being an a*hole I now think it's possible Netflix collected all the a*hole parts and put them together. And that's a lot to take in and WILL make you look terrible. (But it's also really funny and entertaining!)
100% this!
I honestly think society as a collective can’t handle women who speak what they are thinking about and actually go for what they want and actually have the courage to turn their wants and needs into reality.
Just like how morden women can't handle men who speak what they are thinking about
Aparna came across very defensive and rude at first but i actually realized she just has a dry sense of humor. I think she has zero time for being patronized and why should she? People were just mad because she wasn't desperate the way they expected her to.
Aparna's mom said "Shrini the loser" because he made Aparna cry on the date. That part didn't make it into the show.
Tbh i actually thought they were more lenient on the men than the women. And the women they idolised the most in the show were like these fair beautiful pure angles who were demure and everything ppl want an Indian bride to be. I just feel they wanted to cement that archaic image rather than do something and change it
I’m not Indian or Asian but I’m obsessed with your channel and love hearing your thoughts on things 💖 thank you!!
Thanks so much! :)
same, these are all so well thought out
Same! I didn't have anything Indian on my radar but when this channel was recommended to me I dont know why but I'm super interested in what she has to say and it's causing g me to look at things from a different perspective.
As a Puerto Rican, same lol
I'm shocked your channel doesn't have, like, 100 times more subscribers. Your content is so polished and interesting, and you do a great job creating visual interstitials that add to the vibe of the videos. It's only a matter of time before this channel blows up even more.
Please keep making these videos! I'm not Desi, so it's been a great learning experience for me to better understand feminism from that perspective.
💕💕💕
Ah, I just realized your channel started less than two months ago. It's amazing how many subscribers you've picked up so far. This is only the beginning! 🎉
yesss i think the algorithm will pick it up bc it was recommended to me randomly!! she’s amazing
I think it's the subject that's quite exclusive. Because most people don't know about indian match making and are not interested.
Nadia should sue Netflix and Indian Matchmaking for character misrepresentation
Omg yess! I feel like this applies with Muslim women and the dating sphere too!
I've been told to lower my standards so much in terms of what I would like - since I am independent I would like someone who is independent too. And also, I wouldn't go on a date with someone I'm not physically attracted to and then told 'you're too shallow'.
It absolutely does! Living life on your own terms is a blessing, and I don’t think anyone should settle for less, especially when it comes to love ❤️
THIS
It is preferable to die alone than live your whole life resenting your partner. Believe me.
@@darkmage4648 PERCH
The bar is already so low how much lower must you go right!
Re: Nadia. I looked at Vishal as the villain. He flee his ass out to where she was just to break up. That was messed up. He also do what all guys do, he banged her and bounced.
Wait a Season 3? Time to open up my Netflix subscription again. I love this show.
If a man on the show had high standards and expressed not wanting to spend ALL his time with his wife, no one would bat an eye. But when Aparna does… 🙄
Watch season three and how girls are openly mocking guys for Lack of Hair and Short height.
You guys are all Misandrists. Shame on all of you
Except they did paint her with a negative brush and people did crap on her lol. The thing is though as an introvert that likes a lot of me time myself....I get the impression that Aparna just really DOESNT want to be married. It would be neat if her culture/family just left it at that because I just watched a bestie buckle under this expectation and she's like the Wish version of herself!
Wrong! That dude would get torn apart! My problem with Arpana is that she clearly didn't want to be there. If you want a husband that's to professional and busy as you are, that's basically someone you're never gonna see. I get the feeling that Arpana sees marriage no differently than academic achievement, another thing to accomplish.
@@varun009I'm honestly the same way. Not wanting to be around my future husband all the time. And i only feel that way because i enjoy my solitude a lot more. Besides it doesn't have to be that he's always traveling. They can just live in different houses. People are doing it and are getting positive outcomes from it. Relationships doesn't have to be the normal standard of society. You can mould your relationship in a way that is both beneficial to you and your partner. Besides let's not pretend that dudes haven't gotten away with i hate my wife jokes all the time.
@@ayomidedareabel5525 again, you're in a cognitive box. Marriage is a thing and what you're describing isn't it. You don't NEED to get married.
The issue with Aparna isn’t that she’s independent, brave and knows what she wants. That’s a bad take. It’s not belittling or an attempt to stifle or restrict her by acknowledging that she is dismissive, rude and uncompromising. These are traits in either gender that make relationships incredibly difficult. By her age this is something you would expect to have learned but the irony is despite her awareness of this, she seems unwilling or even defiant to change. That’s why people tend to dislike her. Not just because she is blunt or direct.
I think she is really hurt and hasn't healed yet, and therefore cannot get close to anyone.
also when she said that she's perfect (paraphrasing) and doesn't need to improve any aspect of herself. That was pretty big headed.
@@MissJadeScorpion Her mother has transferred all of her trauma onto her daughter to the point where her daughter can not realise what a good man is anymore, because her mother lacked all the choice and now her daughter has too much choice
But there are plenty of ppl who are married who refuse to change or improve. Moreover, they edit and show what they want to portray. We don't actually know them. Don't take reality tv as actual reality😂
Why hire Seema aunty if she can only offer 60%? if i wanted that i'll look for that myself.
Lmaooo facts
But, what if everything on your checklist can't all be found in one person? There are things I want in a partner, but not everything can be found in the same person. Basically, I'm determined that it's impossible to find the right person. Maybe that's just me. Still single at 54.
@@ouestlelivre If you don’t mind being single then you’ll stick with your check list. I’m not settling either. I’m happy by myself and if someone comes along that I see fit I will proceed but I’m not settling for 60% especially pay that woman.
There isn't a positive light of being a mean person. You can be direct and kind. There's nothing wrong with having standards BUT you don't need to be mean. Again, there is nothing wrong with being DIRECT but you can still be kind.
I watched this before watching the actual show, so I went in determined to like her, but she made it a bit difficult. I liked her independence and her attitude towards dating. I really liked that she knew what she wanted and wouldn't waste her time if she wasn't interested, but she was so rude. I didn't think her demands were unreasonable, but the way she treated people was not ok. I even agreed with some things she said, but the way she said them was awful. Instead of simply expressing that she didn't like something, she made it seem like it was a character flaw and there was something wrong with you for liking it.
I remember being so confused on her date with Shekar(?) when she kept saying things were going well because she just kept putting him down and didn't seem to like him at all. Obviously Shekar felt the same because he didn't want to see her again. I do like how she handled the rejection and I will always admire her confidence, but she felt like one of those people that say they're blunt when they're just an asshole. However, towards the end, I feel like she got a better edit. The show made it seem like she was being more open minded and really making an effort with her options even if they didn't work out. I only watched season 1 and don't agree with the outdated values the show promotes, but I feel like you weren't telling the whole story.
Now you have all my original thoughts from this show coming back to me. Back when this first aired I caught the first season and couldn’t shake these thoughts loose:
1) This is business. Netflix is gagging to get a foothold in the Indian and Asian market, Aunty is low key doing this to win new clients (the parents mostly, let’s keep it real) in a new expanding market.
2) I had to do a real side eye, coz if she‘s the best international matchmaker, why doesn’t she have a rolodex full of Indian-American men? Why do two of the lady participants (who are so different in personality) end up on a date with the same guy? There are 4.5 million Indian Americans living in the US.
3) I would love to see Aunty acknowledge that this is a different market, and make on-the-fly adjustments to her successful process to get things going. This lackluster „you take what you get“ attitude (couched as you might only get 60-70% of your list) might work in India… even though she actually has a different tone there. I was actually appalled at her treating Indians in the Diaspora as less than. And their acceptance of it.
@@kiranjitKaur61 i don’t understand your comment. Please explain.
@@kiranjitKaur61 yes, this may be true but what is the connection between this statement and this lady’s matchmaking business?
This is the only chanel I watch on YT without fast forwarding ❤
In 2 minutes, you captured why I stopped watching this show.
This show is a bit triggering for me personally. I am now in " spinster age " . But I remember the comments on my height weight body shape income the feeling that you are just an object in shelf all of that I don't regret my decision of not lowering my standards one bit.
Good for you, you should never have to settle for less.
Keep up the standards and enjoy life with your cats! 🤣
@Khushi sorry honey… I am already married with 2 kids. Nice try though! 🤣
@Khushi There was no shaming here, I just pointed the reality! And that will be reality for most women who are devouring the “feminist churan” sold by the west!
Raised Christian in the southern US and a lot of the pressures for marriage etc, are similar
I never saw Aparna as diifficut. However Sima aunty is highy manipulative and gasighting person. And when they called him a loser, I understood it was more because of his type, withno plans for the future and just doing adventerous stuff. He didnt have any personality either. Aparna also said in a video that he was litterally mean to her and made her cry.
Also it IS always the honest and strong girls who get portrayed as difficult and negative. If you manage to be passive aggressive and submissive, you'd do just fine. People see a strong, graceful woman and think about 1000 of ways to break her down.
As an Indian woman I wasn’t a huge fan of Aparna on the show. Not because of her standards etc, but because of how she treated people and her attitude.
I recognize they’ve edited the show to make her look a certain way, but not everything is edited in that way.
I do empathize with her frustrations though ❤️
I feel bad for Nadia, she so desperately wants to be loved, but doesn’t know how to love herself. I see my old self in her.
Edit: I’m very happy she seems to have found love and I really hope it works out ❤❤
I totally understand and was with you, until I checked out Aparna’s TikTok, where she actually seems like quite a reasonable person. Especially after how they portrayed Nadia, I really started doubting everything tbh ❤️
Read her book, it's amazing, you will see yourself in her. I hated Aparna, HATED her, but after reading the book, my perspective about her changed
@@at.nisa15 thanks for the tip ❤️ I’ll see if I can buy it 🙂
@@at.nisa15 what's the book called?'
@@warmhoney5829it's called " She's Unlikeable: And Other Lies That Bring Women Down
Book by Aparna Shewakramani"
I never saw Nadia that way but imo Aparna did come off rude and on the dates just not as good company? And that's speaking as someone who also hates beaches and doesn't want to be with a spouse 24/7. Also not sure what is career driven about her, she actually seemed pretty not driven in that area to me, too. Hated her job but didn't seem to have other ambitions other than travelling. Which is fine but she also came off very pretentious talking about that. Her conversation at times came off like she had no interest in the guy, was very awkward, so I would not be shocked at all if she doesn't get second dates. Maybe she's trying to be funny in her sarcastic demeanor and be like someone with a dry, witty humor but not everyone can wear that well and if that was her aim - she doesn't.
I actually liked Aparna and Nadia. Both of them exuded self-confidence and comfort with who they are. Nadia and Aparna have every right to choose a partner whom they have a special connection and are attracted to. Afterall they are trying to meet their special someone with whom they spend their lives with. Honestly I loved Nadia.... she came across as a really nice person who is not afraid to be vulnerable.
Yeah even if I find Aparna kind of abrasive or whatever there’s ABSOLUTELY NO REASON to direct vitriol towards her on the internet.
Like okay, just leave her alone.
The biggest reason to go on IMM is to make $$$$.
Aparna is now floating in cash with book deals, brand endorsements and speaking engagements.
Nadia is still the same and she does say that Shekhar did NOT make a move.
If I met someone as beautiful and talented as Nadia under such circumstances I’d immediately make a move and make it clear that I’m not interested in just being friends or something).
Shekhar should’ve made his intentions clear.
And what happened with Nadia and Vishal doesn’t justify casting her as the “villain”.
Yeah it sucks when someone you like doesn’t feel the same way but that’s life.
Nobody is entitled to romance or someone else’s time
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this vid was so well made and a really fun watch
I hate this show because it glorifies the Indian matchmaking process which is rife with casteism and sexism. Not to mention, Sima Taparia can't even get one proper match and pretends to be a matchmaker. So she asks everyone to "compromise", she is a proper businesswoman only there for the money and manipulates everyone in the process.
Look matchmaking is common in most countries like their is no classism and sexism in west
Don't forget colourism.
@@aiswaryabersan7983it's the casteism we are talking about here.
I felt aparna was childish, but seriously she was fine. Lol. She is very direct and she worked for it. Her attitude was fine once you consider that Netflix edited her out to make her seem worse.
Very funny how the guy that Nadia dated before (I think it's Vinny) was shitty af and he's not even brought up as a bad guy
I don't see them neither as villains nor as self-confident women. Aparna worked a lot on herself throughout the seasons and she got a lot more likeable. To me, they both have problems to open up and be vulnerable. It's not uncommon and many of us can learn from their journey.
Wow, when I watched the show I was already irritated by the editing but I’m so glad to watch this video and learn the truth about Nadia. I do indeed feel bad for her & Aparna, they were done dirty.
Kinda off topic but Rinkle(who was matched with Arshneel) was so charming and sweet. I’m straight but if I were Arshneel I totally would’ve proposed 😂
I found your channel and binge watched all videos. Love them so much!!
Aparna is the villain? I thought she was hilariously honest and shockingly nice and charming on her dates. I love her! she needs her own show. Idc that Sima auntie doesn’t like her bc I don’t really care for Sima . I like Aparna a lot more than Sima 😂😂
Aparna's abrasiveness was grating and dramatic, but I'm sure we're only seeing a specific edit. She needs someone who can handle her energy all in good fun, and I respect her for not tailoring her personality to fit a "good girl" narrative. One minor suggestion--referring to these women as "girls" comes across as infantilizing, especially when in the context of dating and marriage.
Shared on FB. I love your commentaries.
But didn’t Nadia just told Sema she’s seeing another younger man then sema told her you need to break up with your boyfriend first didn’t that happened?I’m confused so how they are already broke up but at the same time she speaking about both men at the same time and Sema told her to clear things up..??!
I didn’t like Aparna just because she said she didn’t like comedy or nature…. That was insane
I thought Aparna was fantastic! She is witty, authentic and so much fun! She is a role model for all young girls all around the world - please don't settle and compromise on things you value the most in life.
🤣🤣 I hope you don't mean that
@@whereiskaran8830 I absolutely did. She is great!
Aparna is direct, abrasive, stuck in her ways, stubborn, judgmental of her dates and picky-if we had a man on the show with the same characteristics, he would also be hard to match, seen as arrogant and just plain unlikeable. I don't think she was vilified-she vilified herself. If you want to be liked, be likeable. Or don't be surprised when you are perceived as the things you are. There is a huge difference between being assertive and direct and being rude, curt and dismissive of others. As for Nadia, I didn't see her story as being vilified at all. She just seemed to be dating and learning as she goes along-like we all do! There can be so much miscommunication and mixed feelings in dating and that is normal. I think she is a lovely person and I hope she finds happiness :)
I literally only watched Season 1 because of Apurna. I didn't even know there was a Season 2, and now that I do, I'm only going to watch it yet again because of this Queen.
She seriously carried the whole show lollll. #QueenApurna ~* #PeopleDidntLikeJesusEither ~*
I agree. The only person I enjoyed truly was Aparna, but I knew they'd villainize her because misogyny. Also, doesn't the matchmaker see how much she's revealing herself to be ineffective and a total scam by asking women to compromise and telling them they'll only get 60% of what they ask for? Lol. That's a hell of an admission.
this is so incredibly thoughtful and well articulated! side note lol, what lipstick are you wearing? it’s gorgeous
Thanks so much! The lipstick is Vacay by Kylie but I think it's no longer available :(
Are you going to review season 3 of this show? I enjoy your perspective!
I didn’t liked Aparna because she was rude I think and getting an old lady for matchmaking is a bad idea. The new season is a great example of that where people found great partners without the help of Sima.
Good luck to your channel! Have been enjoying.
I’ve never seen this show, but it seems like reality TV is anything but. I really feel for these women who were traumatized for the sake of entertainment. This is the second video of yours I’ve seen, and I really appreciate what I’ve seen so far. I like learning about feminist perspectives different from my own experience. New subscriber who will be catching up on your content to learn more. Take care.
I think the show actually shows much of the reality of arranged marriage and indian culture, you are marring a stanger practically and much of what they know about you is whats on paper. Also, they villanize women because (shocker) thats how indian culture and most of other cultures are sexist, women loose value when they get to a certain age, if they are not pretty enough or amenable enough, those shallow characteristics are what may fasten a relationship with strangers. In the case of Aparna, i comend her for her values, but if she sees no colour or cares about feminism, maybe what would be best for her is not an indian arranged marriage. In the case of Nadia, i do think that they did her dirty...
I don't think Aparna wants an arranged marriage at all. She's forcing herself into doing something that probably doesn't align with her values.
Better to die unmarried with close friends, community and contentedness with you life than in a bad marriage with kids you couldn't raise right (because doing it alone in a bad marriage isn't great) and isolated from others because you were constantly attending to a marriage that didn't work.
Muslim Bengali guy from London here (I only state this for a little context). I remember when this aired my friends said the same thing about Nadia how Karma caught up with her and when I watched it, I actually felt so satisfied for letting my boy Shekar down like that, especially when he said he's gone off to cry. After watching your video I truly feel manipulated to which I thought I was less susceptible at at aged 34. I can't believe the timeline on Nadia's relationship and feel horrible to think I was happy when she was crying on screen. Shame on me.
As a guy the best thing I like about women are how they uplift each other , verbal support, and empathize with each other in any matter . My guy friend will show me the mirror, tell me exactly what’s wrong with me and tell me to suck it up .
honestly , you can have standerds in dating only during your prime.once you hit the wall hard you are left at the best with leftovers(if you are still lucky to have them yet).Also relationship is also about mutual understanding and compromises.Last, no one is perfect.
As an indian I fell cringe while watching it.This show depicts a lot of stereotypes as well. Many things are overly done.
Hello dear brown sister, I really like your content, its clean & intellectually inclined. Love it. Keep up the good work.
I didn‘t find Apurna abrasive at all. I thought she was a hoot! She had a lovely deadpan sense of humor that had me rolling. So I was surprised that she went for a second season. What struck me is how Aunty and this show just didn’t know what to do with her, which maybe speaks to the situation of Indian women/immigrant women growing up in the West with conflicting values, but also the limitations of the matchmaking system.
Aaaaahhh!!!❤️❤️ an upload
The show is problematic at so many levels, this issue is just a micro piece of it. I literally felt it's a parody.
i love ur videos sm
Reality TV and reality dating TV has been around for 2.5 decades now. Being surprised that events are out of order or that ppl with dry sarcastic wit get villain edits is like being surprised that Marvel movies use green screens and wires. It's willfully naive of both the cast and the audience to expect otherwise.
you need to review season 3 .. TALK ABOUT PRIYA
I liked this show. It's a new season?
love your every content,started from watching one video,finished everything now.Keep Rocking😇
Thank you so much! 😊
For people blabbering that it is Indian culture and the entire country is somehow regressive, let me tell u they all live in america and are american citizens and they represent nothing of what happens in India and I assure u none of the Indians takes responsibilty of their actions.
Picky is fine. Rude and aggressive on the other hand should not be applauded. Some sort of politeness should be expected from everyone
There is a possibility that both Nadia and The other one were in on this so they could further their careers and write a book about it.
I wonder what you think of the movie Wedding Season and similar portrayals of matchmaking in modern day times? I heard somebody complain that the main character in it still ending up with someone at the end is reinforcing the stereotypes that women can't just be 'happy, single and unbothered' but I feel like, it's a romantic comedy, it's supposed to end like that otherwise it wouldn't be a 'romantic' comedy but I do understand what they mean, especially with reality shows like Indian Matchmaking using undercover means to villainize single women.
Wait wait, is Yusra (not sure if spelling it wrong) Indian? I thought maybe but the name is throwing me off
I'm Pakistani :)
Im happily married and i dont see my husband everyday.im in Seattle and he in Washington.So its like we are legally dating and suprising the other when we show up unannounced.Its exciting,fun and our marriage is better now.i think i know why more ppl LAT.Marriage is what the couple make it to be.no one else business or concern.
I think most people didn’t like Aparna’s personality not her standards. She was negative and uptight. There was just something about her attitude that made her unapproachable and draining. However Nadia was more chill and playful but she chose to ditch Shekar for Vishal over surface level attraction and faced the consequences of that later which was very fitting lol.
So did Aperna got a Villain edit or was she portrayed as herself. Is not the her standards that are the problem, is her attitude, she doesn’t even want to spend a lot of time with her future husband. I think she should live an American life and date casually on her terms with a man that is a Avoidant, Super picky and who hates almost everything! So no one is saying for her that she has to changed; she can stay the same, not grow, not changed and be herself, but she also has to live with the consequences to be “Herself”.
Lol you just ignore how aparna and her mom called her perfectly nice first date a LOSER on international television for no reason. Like fine you don’t like him that’s cool Just say he’s not a match to ridicule him together and laugh at him is pathetic and rude behavior but that doesn’t fit your narrative so you’ll ignore it
Did you watch the video🤣🤣she literally called them out. I don't even think he guy was that into aparna anyway
I did not like Aparna. My mom was very direct and tactless but was caring, soulful and empathetic. Arpana did not even want a guy with a sense of humor! She came across as narcissistic, materialistic without empathy, soul, or charm.
Oh snap! I thought Nadia and Shital were the same person.
All I know is men hate Aparna and that just makes me love her all the way more bcus if a bunch of men hate u then for sure ur doing something right 😂😂
I absolutely love this show. I think aunty Seema is very honest with her clients. The show is tailored for a specific market, I was surprised to see Aparna return for s2, I thought she was done with matchmaking. If she didn’t agree so much, why keep doing the show? I would of rather see all different stories from aunty Seema, as she is the main person…
Then why are men shamed for being too picky.. Like the doctor in season 3.
Aparna is still unlikable lol it's one to have standards but she's pretty rude too. No excuses for rudeness
Ngl Aparna was and is my favourite from that show
Aparna is a no-nonsense person and for a lot of people, especially Indians ,thats very hard to digest. Also she is very clear what she wants and our society really pedastalises bare minimum men, so a woman like that is very, very scary to Indian men. However, i do think she was very awkward and needs to work on that. Nadia and Shekar are both amazing people but Nadia didn't want him and thats okay. She isn't obligated to be with him.
I’m here bc you are gorg. Seema is getting further off the mark & I can’t imagine why some of these contestants are clearly paid actors.
Aparna was fun, really.
Didn't watch the show buuuut my name is nadia thank you for defendiing me hhh
You should check the jewish version.
I'll tell you something, I love these shows although I know about the cringe fest on every episode and how scripted some look. The dates they have are all very awkward and lack authenticity, but it's the details about their culture what I like to see.
The jewish version is a little less interesting, but there are things in the first two episodes that I didn't know about jewish culture, I'm actually learning here.
I found the show entertaining yet of course scripted
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Aparna is not a villain. She's funny. I don't like her mom, though. Nadia was a hypocrite. Strong independent women should strongly consider that they might remain independent. They might be happier that way.
Nadia was more of a “villain” only because she is saying she wants marriage but is doing things that indicate the opposite. She’s Chasing a whirlwind romance. Sima was actually spot on with saying she’s not ready. And the way she described the “break up” with Shekar was obviously a lie. She dumped him for that young guy who played in her face. I can’t believe she let a guy 7 years her junior play her
Nadia is behaving in a way that will cause her to end up single and childless. She is 35 and acting as if she has forever to find a husband
I think the show also had an element of fatphobia in choosing to depict Aparna as too picky
Hi yusra, I am from south Asian background and have a different opinion then you. I don’t think the show was “villanizing”either of these women or specifically portraying anything with mal intentions.
In regards to Aparnas case she is difficult to pair with and stubborn which is why that was coming up so often. Unfortunately our society has these structures in place where a woman needs to get married and live a harmonious married life. Times are changing and of course you don’t need to live traditional way hence the way she is it isn’t the norm but nothing bad with that either. She’s perfectly allowed to be herself the way she is as of course she is successful and completely independent of a man. Thus she doesn’t really need to anything other than herself.
Nadia is a wonderful girl and unfortunately got caught in a misfortune incident. Again I don’t think the show was portraying anything then otherwise of what happened. She was following her gut instinct and it backfired.
They are all for the street
@brownfireball I am so confused! You are saying everything wrong with Aperna and Nadia, so what are you saying?
I rewatched the season, Nadia clearly is telling her friends about her situation with Shekar and then has a discussion about shekar and Vishal with sima and her parents. I am not sure where you are getting your 1.5 years difference between these two events from.
If someone watches this matchmaking shit. Sorry guys you have lost sense of your mind.
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This video is spinning it all sorts of weird ways lol
Personally, no one is a villain in this show to me.
As a married woman of 10 years and in my early 30s: People these days are way too picky and value unimportant things.
The subtle egos have to go. "Standards" are so high to the point where it's grandiose behavior. Often times you find "amazing-somethings" in your partner that you never knew existed to even be a part of a list. The List should be 3-4 core elements to a partner you cannot live without. For the rest---> people should be open-minded and give grace to goodness that comes their way. 💕 Loved your commentary!
Love the show, love the drama and the problem is not the Matchmaking per se, but the entire culture. Asian, Middle Eastern and part of South America cultures vilinize single women, yes, they're called names, they're mocked, they're even feared, that's just a fact. It's just wishful thinking that a culture followed by billions of people will change because americans think it's offensive. It's just delusional.
Indian Matchmaking didn't even touch the topic of bleaching skin, that is super nomal in some Asian countries because nobody wants to marry the "dark skinned girl". It's hard, but it is what it is.
The thing about the American women is they sign up for Indian Matchmaking and say they want a husband, but they don’t really. Not the way Sima means it. Even in season two, Nadia says “Find me a BOYFRIEND,” and Sima gets very offended. They go on a few dates, but they carry all their years of dating experience with them, and when they don’t find exactly what they’re looking for, they switch back to dating apps. And everyone blaming editing for how Aparna appears, they can only edit in what she actually says. She wasn’t very nice to the guys she found herself either.
bank on !
These girls made choices and suffered consequences whats there to defend😂
aparna is neither entertaining nor amusing.