Healing After Abortion , Triggered by My past, Forgiving Myself Part 1 (trigger warning)
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 30 ก.ย. 2019
- Im like shaking as I post this. I'm not sure who this is for but God has given me clear instruction to share, share share. The things I've gone through are not about me.
When I ran into my ex last week I didn't expect to be triggered like I was. I didnt realize how my past was haunting me. Sounds spooky but there was unresolved grief over and unforgiveness I hadn't dealt with which led me to prayer and my therapist couch literally the next day!! I thank God that I've reached a place with myself where I can identify the problem and the urgency for Gods help.
Currently: I can actually accept that God has forgiven me and that I'm not the same 19yr old girl making I was in unhealthy situations. God I love you for never giving up on me and giving me a clean slate.
If you're in tears watching know that there's no sin, bad decision, thought, that can separate you from the love of Jesus, not even death! How crazy is that. Who wouldn't love and live for a God like that!!!? Romans 8:38-39
If you would like me to pray for you please email me your name and information :Brianna.dance1@gmail.com
The sad things is the women are left with this heavy weight of guilt, grief, regret, loss & disappointment with self .... And the men get to go on with their lives.... Fornication & Lust led me there... Twice... 27yrs laters & I still cry
.... I still believe its why Im single to this day.... I will never give my body to another man unless he is my GOD ordained husband. Ladies if U can.... abstain from fornication... Sin will take u places u never intended to go & keep u longer then u intended to stay. Praying for us ALL. 😢. Knowing this is not the case of everyone but definitely some of us... Me included 😢😢. I had dreams of two babies who were alive and left unkept... And these dreams continued until I wrote letters asking for their forgiveness, & GOD's forgiveness.... Yet to this very day, 2024 I feel so sad when I think of them, I gained a lot of weight so I could in my eyes become undesireable to men.... I didn't want a man to want me in any way...
I remain single... Ive been celibate with GOD's divine help... & like she said, I need to forgive myself. Smh. I thought I had but even the mention of this topic brings sadness & tears ... Just try not to put yourself in this predicament, provided u have a choice in the matter.
🙏🏾❤️ praying for you sister
Wow, some of the thoughts I also had like the strange thoughts after the abortion about thinking I could try to get pregnant again, so wild. I regret my abortion, the man who got me pregnant was saying he’d support me and the baby financially but didn’t want to see me romantically anymore and wanted to date other women while I was pregnant, I was so scared and didn’t think I could handle going through the pregnancy knowing he was dating other women (I live on a very small island)
I still had feelings for him and he broke things off when I told him I was pregnant, I’m sooo mad that I wasn’t strong enough.. I literally debated for about 4 weeks to try to continue the pregnancy but I was in mental and physical agony, I’m so sad and upset at myself for not being strong enough.
Knowing this pain now, I do anything to have my baby still.. I don’t believe in abortion being an option anymore.
Wow thank you for sharing . I know that must’ve been such a hard decision for you especially knowing that he didn’t want to be involved beyond just providing for the baby. So much heartache to heal through . I too hope we never experience being faced with that decision again and I pray that you will experience authentic healthy love . Blessings and love to you friend ❤
This level of openness is good ... really hope therapy helps you heal. Thank you for sharing, I know it’s a deep secret that you probably would never have told anyone you are truly brave for sharing. Much love
ksinco88 thank you for your encouragement and you’re so welcome !
Sheillah Rwizi I completely understand your feelings , have you considered talking to a counselor about this ? That’s what really helped me
I guess it was hard to reveal this testmony.As I watch this,I marvel at how much God loves us.Healing is very important for you,its not easy journey but only God can strengthen you and keep you.Thanks for your transparency.
This is so sad yet so real, I feel like that so much. Thank you sis🙌🙌🙌
It’s definitely a wound within that goes deep and it’s been a year for me and I’m just now tackling on the wound 🥺
Yes sis it does go deep. You’re so brave for tackling the wound . Keep healing it gets better 🩷
You are so brave❤️.
Thank you so much !
Thank you for sharing your story, it’s been 10 years for me and I still haven’t forgiven myself. Even talking about it brings tears to my eyes and how I think life would of been so different if I didn’t go through with it 😔
You’re so welcome . We are not alone here . So many of us have had to face this choice . Praying for you . Someone mentioned writing a letter or naming the child can help with addressing your emotions about it . ❤
@@powerofcare_ That is a nice idea, I haven’t thought of that! Thank you so much ❤️
Me too -- 10 years and my heart is broken from making that fatal mistake 💔 There is nothing I wish more than my child to be here even though I know it's impossible. It took me many, many years to fully grieve. I plan on teaching my future children to value each and every child they conceive and stand strong in their values/morals in hopes they won't ever make the same mistake! 🙏
❤❤
I'm considering terminating... I've been watching videos of women who've went through it to help me. I have a two year old son and almost died getting him here, I suffered with eclampsia and had two seizures during labor and right after I held him for the first time. Also had some brain swelling and vision problems and a few other things. Now I still have high blood pressure and anxiety. Now I'm 7 weeks pregnant and all the trauma is to much to handle especially since I could possibly go through this again. I wouldn't want to terminate but I'm honestly scared for my life and mental health. Thanks for sharing your story it really helps
Hi Guyia! You’re so welcome . I appreciate you for sharing also . I pray for complete healing of your mind and body . Praying for God to give you guidance and peace about your decision . Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas
@@powerofcare_ thank you so much❤️
Happy holidays to you as well!
Just to update you...I actually went to get an abortion and when I got to the ultrasound part I chose to see the baby ....wut I saw was 2 babies on the screen, identical twins. Although I'm terrified I couldn't go through with it. Thanks for your prayers ❤️
@@guyialaparis7803 thanks for sharing your update !! Congratulations on your twins . How beautiful ❤️ The Lord is with you every step of the way
Hey Brianna, I just want to tell you how encouraging you are in a whole. Thank you for being so authentic about your experiences and how God has shaped and used you. I've always been acquainted with God but I just recently in the last year and a half dedicated myself to Him and its been an interesting journey. Hearing your story has given me confidence that God can and will work in my life too. Love you sister. God Bless.
Ps: Do you have instagram or anything? lol
Yes ma’am He absolutely will work it out for you , I’ll definitely be keeping you in prayer on your journey. And yes my Instagram is @brianna.m.dance 😊
@@powerofcare_ wow, I appreciate that! It’s much needed🧡 thank you😊
My heart is so heavy and full of guilt😢
Im so sorry friend. Praying for you
@@powerofcare_Thank you very much😊
How old were you I was 21 at the time now I'm 62 and I still don't forgive my self
Hi Jilli, I was 19 or 20. I completely understand. I’m praying that you let shame and pain of your decision go in Jesus name. It’s a tough journey , I encourage you to process your grief and loss with a trusted person , possibly even a therapist . If you aren’t interested consider writing your baby a letter and naming the child . I remember recording videos telling them I was sorry and that I loved them. I will be praying for your healing becaue we did the best we could at that age and in the situation . It is a hard one to make . ❤
God bless you
I’m considering terminating. I’ve been looking up videos on forgiveness. I have two under 3, I start school Monday, I’m still breastfeeding one, currently unemployed. I’m in therapy but I’m afraid to even share what I plan and want to do.
I went today to the clinic, I wanted the pill but I was told I’m too early (2-4 weeks no sac is showing yet) so I made an appointment for next Friday.
Wow , thank you for sharing your story with me . It’s hard on both sides whether you get one or not . It sounds like you have a lot going on at once and that another baby was not apart of your plan ... and at the same time you’re considering what God would want becaue you mentioned forgiveness . God sees you, he sees your situation . He sees your fear. Here’s my prayer for you:
Dear God ,
I thank you for Tee Tee. She has so much on her plate Lord. She’s about to start school Lord and thank you for doing that ! Thank you for her two young children . Thank you for choosing her in advance to be their mother , thank you for the tool of therapy to help her navigate her situation ! Jesus right now she’s scheduled to have an abortion and I pray that you whisper to Tee Tee directions on what to do next. And comfort her with whatever decisions she makes . Send her the help she needs to find a rhythm with all that is on her plate . I trust you and love you ! Amen
PowerOfCare Thank you for your prayer ❤️
Naturally TeeTee you’re welcome ❤️
Heey this is very heavy stuffs here, though somethings I may not relate but I feel you not Jesus Christ to forgive you more than watching videos to comfort you, also seek for advice and guidance from a lady friend you can trust for help.
I hope you didn’t go through with it.