Stop thief!

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 21 ธ.ค. 2024

ความคิดเห็น • 2.3K

  • @firebeardnc6012
    @firebeardnc6012 6 ปีที่แล้ว +25330

    When the Imperial Guard has severe multiple personality disorder but all the personalities are Imperial Guard.

    • @gabrielferrazmilet9105
      @gabrielferrazmilet9105 6 ปีที่แล้ว +90

      SweetDick Willie kkkkkkkkkkkkk

    • @MarianMetanoia
      @MarianMetanoia 6 ปีที่แล้ว +293

      Best comment

    • @bc3f4a
      @bc3f4a 5 ปีที่แล้ว +22

      😂

    • @yuisaint6808
      @yuisaint6808 5 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      a shudsahfusdhfusdghdfuhgudfhg omfg this is too much

    • @thelasttaarakian
      @thelasttaarakian 5 ปีที่แล้ว +112

      Fry “let me guess he thinks he’s Lincoln.”
      Robot “well yeah he’s supposed to, problem is he’s got multiple personality disorder... all of them Lincoln”

  • @janusrupnik
    @janusrupnik 5 ปีที่แล้ว +12087

    "Do your worst!"
    steals again

    • @dolfyhilter577
      @dolfyhilter577 4 ปีที่แล้ว +355

      "How dare you?!"

    • @Q8Duelist
      @Q8Duelist 4 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      Lol

    • @moedeluca4715
      @moedeluca4715 4 ปีที่แล้ว +45

      Me : uh what are you doing
      Guard im attacking you
      Me: your attacking a table

    • @asoru5573
      @asoru5573 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      @@moedeluca4715 XD every NPC ever

    • @Nico-lb6op
      @Nico-lb6op 4 ปีที่แล้ว +25

      Guard: STAY WHAKDNDKBSUABSKSBXJDKSMSJXNZLDKSNDYSKSLDKDJjsjdj PAY THE FINE!!

  • @nxt.
    @nxt. 6 ปีที่แล้ว +16429

    "How are you?"
    "Not bad."

    • @KnewOnee
      @KnewOnee 6 ปีที่แล้ว +503

      David Prochazka i've been better

    • @MilekEagle
      @MilekEagle 6 ปีที่แล้ว +382

      KnewOne i hope things get better

    • @KnewOnee
      @KnewOnee 6 ปีที่แล้ว +286

      Milek bye

    • @szykowny6017
      @szykowny6017 6 ปีที่แล้ว +238

      KnewOne Goodbye

    • @MilekEagle
      @MilekEagle 6 ปีที่แล้ว +188

      Szymon Kisielewski it's you, hi.

  • @sikorahkent6815
    @sikorahkent6815 4 ปีที่แล้ว +21382

    *kills a man*
    " How are you?"
    " Not bad."

    • @Komotau4691
      @Komotau4691 4 ปีที่แล้ว +269

      Ted Bundy in nutshell :D

    • @weplayshit1849
      @weplayshit1849 4 ปีที่แล้ว +26

      I ruined ur perfect 505th like streak

    • @kaede_24
      @kaede_24 4 ปีที่แล้ว +110

      a real psychopath for sure

    • @SJ9001
      @SJ9001 4 ปีที่แล้ว +77

      "They say that when you murder somebody the Dark Brotherhood comes to you in your sleep."

    • @_MaZTeR_
      @_MaZTeR_ 4 ปีที่แล้ว +41

      I've been better

  • @glennyeah
    @glennyeah 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5249

    "I've fPaythefine!ought mudcrabs moreStop! fearsome than yoPaythefine!"
    -imperial guard

    • @naiyakin
      @naiyakin 4 ปีที่แล้ว +129

      I can’t stop laughing

    • @adamlabby
      @adamlabby 4 ปีที่แล้ว +193

      This might be the only time quoting the video in the comments is actually worth doing.

    • @AbsoluteAbsurd
      @AbsoluteAbsurd 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      XD

    • @AbsoluteAbsurd
      @AbsoluteAbsurd 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      I love you

    • @Jo-jn3dc
      @Jo-jn3dc 4 ปีที่แล้ว +36

      Ngl I heard “I fuck mudcrabs more fiercer than you”

  • @kotaro1483
    @kotaro1483 6 ปีที่แล้ว +11047

    1 gold bounty? "THEN PAY WITH YOUR BLOOD!"

    • @Coribec
      @Coribec 6 ปีที่แล้ว +376

      All the blood

    • @KalavinkaK
      @KalavinkaK 6 ปีที่แล้ว +702

      I feel like the guard should've given the player a paper cut and said "TRANSACTION COMPLETE"

    • @TexasViking_INFP-t_5w4
      @TexasViking_INFP-t_5w4 6 ปีที่แล้ว +21

      Ikr lmao

    • @zaned.5036
      @zaned.5036 6 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      PAY THE FINE!

    • @awthorne9877
      @awthorne9877 6 ปีที่แล้ว +47

      In Oblivion a bottle of human blood has no value, you can sell it for 0 Septims, so plot twist: The guards are Mitic Dawn agent that just want to kill you so you can't save Martin.
      Or maybe the guards are "badly programmed", who knows

  • @Miimu5210
    @Miimu5210 6 ปีที่แล้ว +12511

    He embodies the spirits of 10 whole guards that each take turn yelling threats.

    • @adoschtinad
      @adoschtinad 6 ปีที่แล้ว +349

      Hate to be that guy but he is in the barracks area which means there are probably guards in the quarters behind the doors yelling these things in their sleep

    • @jonht87
      @jonht87 6 ปีที่แล้ว +84

      That guard was there because that is his skooma dealer and just inhaled a fist-sized khajit blow.

    • @j5892000
      @j5892000 6 ปีที่แล้ว +41

      Miltipersonality syndrom guard

    • @Noone-rc9wf
      @Noone-rc9wf 6 ปีที่แล้ว +59

      WOW just because hes a khajiit right? You fucking Nord racist thats what happens when you let all these goddamn barbaric Nords into Cyrodil they do racist shit like this! Fuck all Nords!
      _-George Washington 1789_

    • @EnchantedSmellyWolf
      @EnchantedSmellyWolf 6 ปีที่แล้ว +24

      They probably talk while they are lying down in bed.

  • @toncilucic7219
    @toncilucic7219 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6465

    I love how he steals even more to piss off the guard

  • @Mista_Cassla
    @Mista_Cassla 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1566

    The end after he kills him "how are you?" that part killed me

    • @Devilman-1
      @Devilman-1 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      I'm the first one to comment on your comment 🗿

    • @Fomnh
      @Fomnh ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@Devilman-1a year later

    • @Devilman-1
      @Devilman-1 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@Fomnh 💀💀

    • @Revan-1466
      @Revan-1466 ปีที่แล้ว +30

      “Not bad”

    • @miguelthealpaca8971
      @miguelthealpaca8971 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Same! _😂_

  • @bragiodinsen4604
    @bragiodinsen4604 3 ปีที่แล้ว +688

    That Khajit is like that kid at school that convinces you to join him in something bad and immediately calls the teacher on you.

    • @SonofSkyrim01
      @SonofSkyrim01 3 ปีที่แล้ว +23

      Khajit thief-hypocrite

    • @strannikvnoci
      @strannikvnoci 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Хотел поставить лайк,но тут уже 666 лайков,не буду портить красивую цифру😂

  • @MisterDutch93
    @MisterDutch93 6 ปีที่แล้ว +9706

    I'm surprised that nobody in the comments section mentioned the explosion of plates and cutlery that happened when our dear Kahjiit was sitting at the table. Stuff like that always gets me.

    • @RyeBread333
      @RyeBread333 6 ปีที่แล้ว +205

      MisterDutch93 I WAS LOOKING FOR A COMMENT THAT MENTIONED IT! XD

    • @jameswilkes451
      @jameswilkes451 6 ปีที่แล้ว +269

      I used to just find running around castle dining halls and kicking food and cutlery ALL over the place in explosive spasms of force an absolute hoot

    • @uncorruptedninja2280
      @uncorruptedninja2280 6 ปีที่แล้ว +34

      93 people were looking for someone to comment about that

    • @kaylobrok3272
      @kaylobrok3272 6 ปีที่แล้ว +108

      Shit like that happened to me in Skyrim, i used to sit in chairs in some Inns and shit blowed or sometimes i entered the inns and everything were flying

    • @ConsumeristScroffa
      @ConsumeristScroffa 5 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      That's the only thing that I found funny. And the dialogue at the end of course, but not that much as that scene. lol

  • @TheoneandonlyGTA
    @TheoneandonlyGTA 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1820

    1:13 that "getting tired?" was perfect

    • @sakesaurus
      @sakesaurus 6 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      elf be like "well I didn't want to sit anyway, screw you"

    • @madeiraislander
      @madeiraislander 6 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      AAHHH!!! YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME DOWN!

    • @kimkai9005
      @kimkai9005 6 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      *OOF!*

  • @Rverma30
    @Rverma30 6 ปีที่แล้ว +8408

    The best part is when he steals something again and the guard gets even more pissed off

  • @lordofthecookie8555
    @lordofthecookie8555 3 ปีที่แล้ว +288

    Dude, those Oblivion guards are f*cking savage, those insults, that fierce anger in his voice. Skyrim guard are nowhere close to these guys.

    • @prayoga4419
      @prayoga4419 3 ปีที่แล้ว +49

      Oblivion taunt: "This is the part where you fall down and BLEED TO DEATH"
      Skyrim taunt: "Son of a..."

    • @impcityangel3245
      @impcityangel3245 2 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      "You have committed crimes against Skyrim and her people. What say you in your defense?"

  • @WillowTitov
    @WillowTitov 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1510

    "It just works." -Hodd Toward

    • @kayhoww
      @kayhoww 3 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      Surprised this isn’t top comment lol

    • @ahypernova
      @ahypernova 3 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Toward what ?

    • @martinseptim1833
      @martinseptim1833 3 ปีที่แล้ว +34

      @@ahypernova Toward Deez Nutz

    • @vodenimeded
      @vodenimeded 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      @@martinseptim1833 Martin? I thought you sacrificed your self to save the Imperial City and quite possibly the entire continent of Tamriel.

    • @ahypernova
      @ahypernova 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@martinseptim1833 Touche.

  • @toobig7399
    @toobig7399 6 ปีที่แล้ว +20764

    Im pretty sure that khajit was seriously worried about the guard's mental condition at the end.

    • @blazelega2985
      @blazelega2985 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1505

      "How are you?"

    • @Theiwav
      @Theiwav 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1358

      “Not bad”

    • @Mr.Bimgus
      @Mr.Bimgus 6 ปีที่แล้ว +349

      too big What is your profile pic? I need it for science. Don't ask what I'm testing.

    • @MisterInsomaniac
      @MisterInsomaniac 6 ปีที่แล้ว +147

      HAHAHAHAH and that guard was like ""not bad"

    • @Bigassboya
      @Bigassboya 6 ปีที่แล้ว +108

      Slagged Eagle
      I've been better

  • @SchnellShart
    @SchnellShart 6 ปีที่แล้ว +5872

    An actual presentation of me fighting with a bug in my room

    • @TheOrangeSwag
      @TheOrangeSwag 6 ปีที่แล้ว +272

      *finally kills it*
      "How are you?"

    • @joejug162
      @joejug162 5 ปีที่แล้ว +113

      *pay the fine!*

    • @bohdankuziv2707
      @bohdankuziv2707 5 ปีที่แล้ว +199

      YOU BUGS ARE ALL THE SAME. ALL FLESH AND NO FURY!

    • @craigdellicarpini772
      @craigdellicarpini772 5 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Willy:D You, too, huh? I thought it was just me!

    • @CircaSriYak
      @CircaSriYak 5 ปีที่แล้ว +51

      PAY THE FINE

  • @Kinoksis
    @Kinoksis 6 ปีที่แล้ว +5695

    * Calmly sits on bench *
    " *YOU ELVES ARE ALL THE SAME. ALL FLESH AND NO FURY!* "

  • @devonpresents8861
    @devonpresents8861 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2806

    0:14 Guard Rage: 10%
    0:27 Guard Rage: 35%
    0:35 Guard Rage: 48%
    0:42 Guard Rage: 65%
    0:53 Guard Rage: 82%
    1:08 Guard Rage: 99%
    1:32 Guard Rage: 0%

  • @Comkill117
    @Comkill117 2 ปีที่แล้ว +186

    The voice acting in this game is incredible. This man really just said:
    - “You should have paid the fine!”
    - “You elves are all the same, all flesh, no fury!”
    - “DIE!”
    - “This is the part where you fall down and bleed to death!”
    - “I’ve fought Mudcrabs more fearsome than you!”
    All at once. That takes some skill.

    • @r.r.r.r.r.r.r.
      @r.r.r.r.r.r.r. ปีที่แล้ว +2

      all flash* and no fury. just another way of saying all bark and no bite.

    • @Comkill117
      @Comkill117 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@r.r.r.r.r.r.r.right my mistake.

  • @connorlucichofficial1351
    @connorlucichofficial1351 6 ปีที่แล้ว +3024

    Khajits are usually sneaky and stealthy. First 5 seconds in, a Khajit sits down and 4 loaves of bread fly halfway across the room

    • @TenshiCat
      @TenshiCat 5 ปีที่แล้ว +412

      Cats may be sneaky and stealthy, but they also can't resist knocking things off tables

    • @GrayFox790
      @GrayFox790 4 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      🤣🤣🤣

    • @MangleFoxy
      @MangleFoxy 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@TenshiCat XD

  • @eoinflaherty9374
    @eoinflaherty9374 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1895

    *Sits down* 'What's the matter? Getting tired?!'

    • @abad-enoughdude._.3919
      @abad-enoughdude._.3919 6 ปีที่แล้ว +102

      Cheese Token hahah. This game has such a magical way of being self-aware.

    • @ryarod
      @ryarod 6 ปีที่แล้ว +34

      He had perfect timing- and unlike most things this channel points out, it _makes sense_ in the moment in context.
      I for one would love for that, or something like it, to be deliberately incorporated into future open-world role-playing games.
      It'd be a subtle touch, sure, but it would help to make it immersive.

    • @PsychoCrow
      @PsychoCrow 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@ryarod Wait for Cyberpunk2077.

    • @BenDover-cq6rr
      @BenDover-cq6rr หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@PsychoCrow lol, lmao even

  • @kride500
    @kride500 6 ปีที่แล้ว +3059

    I got arrested for stealing a flower. I love oblivion.

    • @Watermelon_Man92
      @Watermelon_Man92 6 ปีที่แล้ว +140

      In Syrim I got a bounty because I zapped a chicken with a lightning spell. Didn't realize that was illegal at the time.

    • @Watermelon_Man92
      @Watermelon_Man92 5 ปีที่แล้ว +44

      Sure. Of course technically I didn’t steal it. I fried it up pretty good though. It would have made a tasty meal.

    • @crystalcritique
      @crystalcritique 4 ปีที่แล้ว +29

      That lost oxygen could cost someone their LIFE down the line!

    • @johnshepard3197
      @johnshepard3197 4 ปีที่แล้ว +20

      You're lucky, I got killed for it!

    • @mogalisious
      @mogalisious 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@Arvel_The_Swit ikr

  • @augusto3447
    @augusto3447 4 ปีที่แล้ว +118

    I love how the guard just materializes in front of the door and sprints towards the player character immediately after he touches the beer bottle

    • @hobomike6935
      @hobomike6935 3 ปีที่แล้ว +22

      *sniff sniff* "I SENSE A DISTURBANCE INJUSTICE.." *immediately teleports to the scene of the crime*
      *_"STOP! YOU VIOLATED THE LAW."_*

  • @ThrowAway-gu2lw
    @ThrowAway-gu2lw 2 ปีที่แล้ว +17

    I love how the khajiit is watching the mace swinging around like an actual cat

  • @maxupsher6865
    @maxupsher6865 6 ปีที่แล้ว +9760

    *killed a guy in daedric armor just because he didn't want to pay 1 coin*
    -How are you?
    -Not bad :)

    • @D3adm3n
      @D3adm3n 5 ปีที่แล้ว +103

      Oh-hi Mark

    • @keiztrat9109
      @keiztrat9109 5 ปีที่แล้ว +26

      Deadmanstands Hey Billy

    • @theonionsystem7779
      @theonionsystem7779 5 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      @@keiztrat9109 that hurt

    • @keiztrat9109
      @keiztrat9109 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Deceased Ah, don’t move a muscle

    • @aa-dj3jt
      @aa-dj3jt 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      It was bound armour, not daedric.

  • @jesspontbriand7228
    @jesspontbriand7228 6 ปีที่แล้ว +2186

    HURRRBLERLLLGBRBEBR
    The most fearsome war cry throughout the ages, all tremble when this mighty cry falls upon their ears

    • @Her_Imperious_Condescension
      @Her_Imperious_Condescension 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      He is fearsome among murlocs.

    • @RacmusDK
      @RacmusDK 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      haHAAAH!

    • @Laughingcoyote1213
      @Laughingcoyote1213 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      🤣Ever since i played this game as a teen, that one war cry has stuck with me all these years

    • @cireez
      @cireez 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      1:16 ?

    • @destubae3271
      @destubae3271 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@Laughingcoyote1213 That and the dumb HAHAH!

  • @SeeASquaRE
    @SeeASquaRE 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1588

    I love how the guard just comes running at the speed of light when he hears someone yell "thief". Oblivion guards the true heroes we need.

    • @marcxworld5708
      @marcxworld5708 4 ปีที่แล้ว +90

      For real though, it looked like the guard just manifested into reality

    • @billyhenerson2871
      @billyhenerson2871 4 ปีที่แล้ว +58

      Yeah, but they also have a hard time understanding physics and take forever to go around a table

    • @musicsheep9816
      @musicsheep9816 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      Until they accidentally hit a civilian, and then the civilian hits back, causing the entire town the rupture into a massive brawl with the entire town murdered by guards

    • @The_Lucent_Archangel
      @The_Lucent_Archangel ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@musicsheep9816 We used to abuse the same logic in GTA Online by getting 4-5 star wanted level and leading the cops toward other players. It was usually guaranteed that either they'd side-swipe a cop car or vice versa and suddenly get 2 stars with 5 stars' worth of police attacking them.

  • @rishab0B
    @rishab0B 4 ปีที่แล้ว +193

    His choice menu tells you that the only option he has always selected is "resist arrest"

  • @paradoxpizza
    @paradoxpizza 3 ปีที่แล้ว +85

    The Khajiit really asked the guard “how are you?” Because he genuinely concerned with the guard’s mental health.

  • @Bloodletter8
    @Bloodletter8 6 ปีที่แล้ว +2050

    Khajit sits down to eat.
    *KICKS THE FOOD ALL OVER THE ROOM*

    • @misterbadguy7325
      @misterbadguy7325 4 ปีที่แล้ว +141

      Well, they are cats.

    • @Yu_K_wtf
      @Yu_K_wtf 4 ปีที่แล้ว +48

      reminds me of my cat. when he's done eating, his food is all over the kitchen. also, on the walls.

    • @supamanlova9250
      @supamanlova9250 4 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      y e e t

    • @Xerdar36
      @Xerdar36 4 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      Sounds like a legitimate cat to me....

    • @sythesz
      @sythesz 4 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      such is the way of the khajiit. from a young age we learn to furiously throw our food.

  • @wyntertheicewyvern6226
    @wyntertheicewyvern6226 6 ปีที่แล้ว +4246

    This week on Guards of Oblivion.

    • @wyntertheicewyvern6226
      @wyntertheicewyvern6226 6 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      The1WhoKnocks it does, doesn't it? I'd watch it

    • @Insaneinthelain
      @Insaneinthelain 6 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      Laura James sounds like Skyrim (COPS)

    • @FunWarden
      @FunWarden 6 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      Cyrodiil (COPS)

    • @Wolvandhiek
      @Wolvandhiek 6 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Guards of Cyrodiil.

    • @ihsan2202
      @ihsan2202 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      Laura James to

  • @kadesjunkdrawer2233
    @kadesjunkdrawer2233 6 ปีที่แล้ว +2493

    How are you
    N O T B A D

  • @pato6738
    @pato6738 4 ปีที่แล้ว +31

    Love how the other guy ask him "how are you?" after the deed to check on the guard´s feelings and support him

  • @jamesasher63
    @jamesasher63 2 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    I love how his *GETTING TIRED?!* is synced with you sitting down and how he screams *HAHA* and then finally hits you like he's finally figured out that going round the table is the secret to victory

  • @MrLores111
    @MrLores111 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1498

    *Sits down*
    What's the matter? GETTING TIRED?

  • @Ojo10
    @Ojo10 6 ปีที่แล้ว +3058

    This game has aged *BEAUTIFULLY*

    • @Psyfonify
      @Psyfonify 6 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      You say?

    • @shinkiro403
      @shinkiro403 6 ปีที่แล้ว +96

      The AI sure did, just as stupidly funny as it was back then...

    • @deltaI78
      @deltaI78 6 ปีที่แล้ว +70

      I've heard others say the same.

    • @whennever8202
      @whennever8202 6 ปีที่แล้ว +51

      Heard any news from the other provinces?

    • @Sheikah92
      @Sheikah92 6 ปีที่แล้ว +50

      Nothing I'd like to talk about.

  • @peterwilson5307
    @peterwilson5307 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1765

    "How are you?"
    "Not bad..."
    *They ask you how you are and you're fine but you're not really fine*

    • @georgerockwell149
      @georgerockwell149 4 ปีที่แล้ว +51

      You’re not fine because the guy you just killed refused to pay the fine.

    • @lancehandy6648
      @lancehandy6648 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Katy perry meme lmao

    • @cr4yv3n
      @cr4yv3n 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Psychological assistance

    • @Fredjo
      @Fredjo 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@georgerockwell149 :DD

    • @Comkill117
      @Comkill117 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      “SHOULD HAVE PAYED THE FINE!”

  • @ChaoticKale66
    @ChaoticKale66 4 ปีที่แล้ว +66

    0:36 when he shifts the camera up to where the audio is coming from and it's coming from the ceiling but the guard is right in front him 😅 his subtleness got me haha

  • @wahidtrynaheghugh260
    @wahidtrynaheghugh260 5 ปีที่แล้ว +148

    “Stay away”
    “HURLURLUR”

    • @TailsGaming1999
      @TailsGaming1999 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      That noise always gets me 😂

  • @turnburn26
    @turnburn26 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1254

    Khajiit steals: "Take it. It's worthless to me anyway."
    Altmer steals: *YOU WON'T GET AWAY WITH THIS*

  • @Knorkrax
    @Knorkrax 6 ปีที่แล้ว +2620

    He's the most feared among all guards.

    • @TheBrandonGame
      @TheBrandonGame 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Knorkrax stop following me

    • @aapeli4824
      @aapeli4824 6 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      The guards fear him.

    • @dylanreed2951
      @dylanreed2951 6 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      thats the HE they talked about in the skyrim theme

    • @merr8471
      @merr8471 6 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      "He's the most feared among all guards"
      *666 likes*
      Uhh..o.o

    • @Xylluk
      @Xylluk 6 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      In their tongue, he's "Faas Dein":
      Fearsome Guard!
      "HURRRRRR HRRRRRRRURRRRRR!"

  • @velileon101
    @velileon101 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2119

    The funniest thing about this video to me was whatever the hell happened at the beginning with the food flying

    • @CinnabarCereal
      @CinnabarCereal 4 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      4

    • @dmitry318
      @dmitry318 4 ปีที่แล้ว +53

      don't you care that khajit stole something before he sit down? :D

    • @AndrewAce.
      @AndrewAce. 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Right!?

    • @ObscureStuff420
      @ObscureStuff420 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      I agree!

    • @Valduria
      @Valduria 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@dmitry318 And then Twisted Sistered the contents of the table in the air like an anarchist.

  • @FleurLavie
    @FleurLavie 3 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    0:12 I like how immediately when he picks up the thing, a guard *FLIES* Into the room

  • @trinitrojack
    @trinitrojack 4 ปีที่แล้ว +21

    0:17 Look at the bags around this guys eyes.
    Here is a guard that never blinks; never winks at injustice.

  • @IShallCallHimTaders
    @IShallCallHimTaders 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1002

    Guard upstairs yells out of sheer osmosis of a perceived theft.

    • @PhilosophyofElivagar
      @PhilosophyofElivagar 4 ปีที่แล้ว +28

      1 year later and this is still my favourite comment

    • @J29-u8u
      @J29-u8u 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      @@PhilosophyofElivagar Jesus, how often do you revisit this thread? Also, the comment under discussion doesn't make any sense. The guard upstairs, hearing commotion & cries of thievery below, helped raise the alarm; how is this simple, predictable act a result of "osmosis"? If you, a cop in Room A, hear a fellow officer in Room B shouting _burglar,_ & you echo him in hopes of alerting Room C, do we have "osmosis" to thank for it? Or are you just reacting on gut instinct or training?
      As a longtime educator devoted to lighting the fire of self-improvement in racially diverse students from all walk of life, I hope that 1) you'll consider reading a book or two & revisiting _them_ for enlightenment every year instead of . . . whatever this is; & 2) that you'll learn the definition, etymology, & proper usage of "osmosis." Is that really too much to ask? Your children, if you have any, will thank you for it, as will your partner; & even if you remain childless & single, at the end of the day you'll thank yourself.
      I believe I can anticipate your next question: what's in it for me? Well, to be perfectly honest, I win either way, seeing as how this thankfulness -- whether it burns in one heart or many -- is due in large part to my selflessness. This makes me feel downright heroic, & inspires me to keep fighting a good fight even when the going gets tough. So let me just say in advance, _you're welcome, my friend;_ & may you share what you've learned here today with others, thus continuing my legacy :)

    • @PhilosophyofElivagar
      @PhilosophyofElivagar 4 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      @@J29-u8u I revisit it enough to reply to your smart ass 3 months later - also I resent your implication that I’m uneducated, I’m graduating this year with a 1st in History and English and starting my Masters soon - I probably read more than you sleep.
      Anyways, it’s a joke lmao. Take your ‘enlightened’ ass to r/iamsmart, I’d be thankful for that

    • @Huxxerberry
      @Huxxerberry 4 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      @@J29-u8u
      Who the hell pissed in your cheerios?

    • @mellowmelly9258
      @mellowmelly9258 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@J29-u8u shut up douchebag

  • @StraightUpIrishJames
    @StraightUpIrishJames 6 ปีที่แล้ว +2192

    Man that candle really is a dirty thief.....

  • @feco91
    @feco91 6 ปีที่แล้ว +336

    I love that outrage you can hear each time you pick something up...

  • @Roiiboss
    @Roiiboss 4 ปีที่แล้ว +62

    *Flails mace 1 inch from face*
    "Stay away!"
    How about you step away, Khajiit?

  • @MikeNoob101
    @MikeNoob101 4 ปีที่แล้ว +211

    Jaguar: Stop Thief!
    Literally 2 minutes later
    Jaguar: Your money or your life

    • @Howlingburd19
      @Howlingburd19 4 ปีที่แล้ว +34

      “You’re smarter than you look.”

    • @queencat2096
      @queencat2096 3 ปีที่แล้ว +28

      @@Howlingburd19 “Take it, it’s useless to me anyway.”

    • @evabracken8030
      @evabracken8030 3 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      @@queencat2096 *looks back, wondering if he made the right choice*

    • @nowasfalsebanned2769
      @nowasfalsebanned2769 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Jaguar?!?!

    • @sigmarkrieger6958
      @sigmarkrieger6958 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@nowasfalsebanned2769 khajiit

  • @LexOmega7
    @LexOmega7 6 ปีที่แล้ว +656

    “How are you”
    “Not bad”
    I can’t breathe

    • @Q8Duelist
      @Q8Duelist 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Lol

    • @pIayingwithmahwii
      @pIayingwithmahwii 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@Q8Duelist lol

    • @asdaasdsa
      @asdaasdsa 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I've been better

    • @canoe6421
      @canoe6421 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      you can otherwise you'd be dead (i know it is supposed to be a metaphor used for expressing feelings and that this comment is made for comedic purposes only but i can't stand when people say i can't breathe

    • @pIayingwithmahwii
      @pIayingwithmahwii 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@canoe6421 Really Cliff?

  • @themojogamer75
    @themojogamer75 6 ปีที่แล้ว +749

    Well. At least my light and heavy armor skills increased.

  • @wieso4008
    @wieso4008 6 ปีที่แล้ว +848

    That poor elf was just being a nice person, picking up after the khajiit who dropped all his stuff, but casual racism turned this into another senseless death. Smh

    • @kensebego199
      @kensebego199 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Yup so much racism smh.

    • @chancedavis6216
      @chancedavis6216 4 ปีที่แล้ว +25

      CNN be like

    • @farhanrizkiahnafa7404
      @farhanrizkiahnafa7404 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@chancedavis6216 stfu you anti-fact

    • @Nope-ik8wv
      @Nope-ik8wv 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Daddy Vladdy facts

    • @ozarkstate
      @ozarkstate 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      @@farhanrizkiahnafa7404 CNN uses facts?

  • @derekrocco4344
    @derekrocco4344 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    The way the khajit's head follows the mace back and forth reminds me so much of every cat I've ever lived with

  • @gabrielboorom6196
    @gabrielboorom6196 4 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    "You wouldn't be so brave, if you didn't have that completely stationary table to protect you!!!"

  • @timesnewlogan2032
    @timesnewlogan2032 5 ปีที่แล้ว +983

    "You elves are all the same!"
    "Well, you *voice actors* are all the same!"

    • @cediviannareeda4305
      @cediviannareeda4305 3 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      WORDS HURT YOU KNOW!

    • @Morty143
      @Morty143 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      I mean you are not wrong

    • @imjustacake6535
      @imjustacake6535 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Sad guard noises

    • @eggu1828
      @eggu1828 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Thank you kind sir!

    • @pumpkinhills7611
      @pumpkinhills7611 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Please don't make DID jokes.
      Sincerely, someone who actually has the disorder.

  • @Wolfenstin1806
    @Wolfenstin1806 6 ปีที่แล้ว +374

    I like the "What's the matter, getting tired?!" As your character sits down.
    Yes, I am tired actually.

  • @imefix
    @imefix 6 ปีที่แล้ว +375

    "What happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object?"

  • @thatweirdgirl2703
    @thatweirdgirl2703 5 ปีที่แล้ว +39

    Palpatine: I am all the Sith
    Rey: I am all the Jedi
    Imperial Guard: I am all the Legion!

    • @crashpal
      @crashpal 8 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Martin Septim: "its treason then"

  • @quickrundown3859
    @quickrundown3859 4 ปีที่แล้ว +24

    I love how the guard is more upset about the theft than the Khajiit owner.

  • @drpavel9414
    @drpavel9414 6 ปีที่แล้ว +153

    I'm in love with how enthusiastic all the Imperial voice actors are

    • @CylindricalWhistle
      @CylindricalWhistle 3 ปีที่แล้ว +33

      All one of them.

    • @yachiyous9110
      @yachiyous9110 3 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      Sure is great to be a part of the Wes Johnson collective

  • @PaxFire
    @PaxFire 6 ปีที่แล้ว +293

    >Wearing full Dedric Armor
    >Your Light Armor skill increased

    • @suresren
      @suresren 6 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      That's cause it's bound armor.
      THAT DIRTY CHEATER!

    • @suresren
      @suresren 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @allright715 No - it's bugged bound armour:
      What you do is, damage the bound armour, repair it, drop it and wait for the timer to run out and then the bound armour stays permanently.

  • @dangerouslysafe3
    @dangerouslysafe3 6 ปีที่แล้ว +229

    *Guard kills a man*
    *the very next split second*
    Khajiit: How are you? c:
    Guard: Not bad...

    • @dodec8449
      @dodec8449 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Such a bootlicker

  • @marsstars682
    @marsstars682 4 ปีที่แล้ว +40

    You: sitting peacefully whist the guard wildly swings his weapon at you across the table
    The guard: ha, getting tired?!

  • @icedtease1973
    @icedtease1973 4 ปีที่แล้ว +52

    The guard looks like he's been waiting in the shadows for hours, just waiting for someone to steal something. He fell asleep before he saw the Khajit steal something, but woke up when he heard "Stop! Thief!"
    Also, I'm pretty sure there were other guards in a seperate room that were yelling at him too. I doubt that one guard could be emitting that much dialogue at once.

  • @FlamRackett
    @FlamRackett 6 ปีที่แล้ว +97

    How deliciously evil to steal more stuff whilst the guard is stuck on the candle stick

  • @antonironstag5085
    @antonironstag5085 5 ปีที่แล้ว +87

    I love how as you steal more things the guards shout even louder.

  • @thebrokenglasskids5196
    @thebrokenglasskids5196 5 ปีที่แล้ว +266

    0:05
    I'll just go ahead and have a seat here at the 'ol table......
    _entire content of tabletop explodes_

  • @cloudcover540
    @cloudcover540 5 ปีที่แล้ว +21

    "You elves are all the same, all flesh and no fury"
    *200 years later*
    "Oh..."

  • @ChangedMyNameFinally69
    @ChangedMyNameFinally69 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    What a perfect storm of a video, from the Khajit sneaking for no reason, sending food flying, the guard being stuck in front of the table while his dialogue overlaps, and then the casual conversation at the end

  • @smegmalasagna
    @smegmalasagna 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1749

    HRRRRR! HRRRUURRRURRR

    • @irontomato3835
      @irontomato3835 6 ปีที่แล้ว +39

      YOU ELVES ARE ALL THE SAME

    • @interstellergrapefruit
      @interstellergrapefruit 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      indubitably

    • @zaaya7719
      @zaaya7719 6 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      your username
      ...your profile pic...

    • @dronite0019
      @dronite0019 6 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      zaya ever read junji ito?

    • @zaaya7719
      @zaaya7719 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      dronite001 ahhh that's where it's from lmao ofc and nah but I've seen their work

  • @patricio4641
    @patricio4641 6 ปีที่แล้ว +243

    *Your Light Armor skill increased*

    • @kasrkin110
      @kasrkin110 6 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      and life decreased.

    • @PixyEm
      @PixyEm 6 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      *Your Heavy Armor skill increased*

  • @Davidpostingshid
    @Davidpostingshid 6 ปีที่แล้ว +359

    These uploads are always a high point in my day.

    • @Pwn3dByPhysics
      @Pwn3dByPhysics 6 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Grendel’s arm then I suppose your days are generally just as boring as mine.

    • @Davidpostingshid
      @Davidpostingshid 6 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Pwn3dByPhysics lol yeah

    • @Pwn3dByPhysics
      @Pwn3dByPhysics 6 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Grendel’s arm any idea to make our days less boring?

    • @Sledgehammeh
      @Sledgehammeh 6 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      I've heard the Fighters Guild is looking for new members.

    • @Davidpostingshid
      @Davidpostingshid 6 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Eagle I’ve heard others say the same

  • @own4801
    @own4801 4 ปีที่แล้ว +29

    0:32 The thing I find crazy is that he's actually programed to repeatedly swing like 15 times before adjusting his position and running to you at a new angle. Bad or good code should still have it so he either swings forever like that, or changes position after just a few swings.

  • @aviniciussouza100
    @aviniciussouza100 4 ปีที่แล้ว +28

    0:36
    "All flesh and no fury."
    "AAARRGH!"

    • @JDT_XXIV
      @JDT_XXIV 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      “YOU WON’T GET AWAY WITH THIS HURLULUL”

  • @KingYiren
    @KingYiren 6 ปีที่แล้ว +152

    What a strange series of events

    • @whennever8202
      @whennever8202 6 ปีที่แล้ว +21

      meh, a regular day in Cyrodiil.

    • @kensebego199
      @kensebego199 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Another skooma filled day.

  • @biegodastos8190
    @biegodastos8190 6 ปีที่แล้ว +87

    Steals food, summons guard. Said guard gets posesed by the spirits of 100 slain guards to defeat the evil thief, thrashes about and kills the wrong person
    -How are you?
    -Not bad

    • @Just-Let-Jung-Cook
      @Just-Let-Jung-Cook 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Wait what am I missing, how did he get the wrong guy?

    • @kensebego199
      @kensebego199 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@Just-Let-Jung-Cook oblivion AI is like that lol

    • @Just-Let-Jung-Cook
      @Just-Let-Jung-Cook 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@kensebego199 no I mean, I thought the guard killed the OP cuz the OP stole from the table, unless the other guy was actually the one who stole stuff

  • @marcuspontiuspilatus
    @marcuspontiuspilatus 5 ปีที่แล้ว +29

    "This is the part where you fall down and bleed to death!"
    - No, thanks, my pockets aren't full yet

  • @sirromanov3038
    @sirromanov3038 5 ปีที่แล้ว +25

    That was the jailer, too. He abandoned the jail to come and yell at you for taking a beer.

  • @Kratos94nb
    @Kratos94nb 6 ปีที่แล้ว +68

    Tricky Khajiit behaves as if he has always lived here. It worked well

  • @jomo999
    @jomo999 6 ปีที่แล้ว +425

    1:02 Hurrlurlrulurlugh!

    • @160rpm
      @160rpm 6 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      I always liked that one

    • @_redprince_
      @_redprince_ 6 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Who goes there?

    • @shayposting
      @shayposting 6 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Hraagh! Ough! HMM.

    • @_redprince_
      @_redprince_ 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Aah! Oh my goodness. Excuse me, are you alright?

    • @Curri3Saan
      @Curri3Saan 6 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      jomo999 I've fought *OOOUGH!* mud crabs more fearsome than you!

  • @igfados
    @igfados 6 ปีที่แล้ว +67

    *"THEN PAY WITH YOUR BLOOD"*
    "brain path-finding glitched"

  • @adtm19993
    @adtm19993 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I love how the khajit's head at 1:00 is following every swing of the guard's mace like my cat does when I swing a fluffy toy mouse round about him. Bethesda's attention to detail is remarkable.

  • @Duskyberry
    @Duskyberry 4 ปีที่แล้ว +18

    Kahjit: "How are you?
    Guard: "I've been better"

  • @MrZega000
    @MrZega000 5 ปีที่แล้ว +140

    sits down
    "getting tired!?"

  • @Dracomies
    @Dracomies 6 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    I started dying of laughter in so many parts of this video. First when the food starts flying like confetti. Second, when he has a snack. Third, when the soldier just keeps hitting at the air. Oblivion at its finest.

  • @Just_Some_Guy_with_a_Mustache
    @Just_Some_Guy_with_a_Mustache 6 ปีที่แล้ว +157

    *Khajit:* "Be very quiet. Khajit has to be very stealthy." *successively steals an alcohol* "F*ck this." *smacks everything off the table*

  • @slamminx3
    @slamminx3 5 ปีที่แล้ว +18

    These guards were always more intimidating than Skyrims guards.

    • @crashpal
      @crashpal 8 วันที่ผ่านมา

      "I used to be an adventurer like you but then I took an arrow to the knee"
      Skyrim guards are wimps

  • @theeguy9022
    @theeguy9022 4 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    The part I love about the guards is how they constantly growl and laugh

  • @maxupsher6865
    @maxupsher6865 6 ปีที่แล้ว +114

    1:00 "Stay away!"

  • @KidAmnesiack
    @KidAmnesiack 6 ปีที่แล้ว +70

    "YOU ELVES ARE ALL THE SAME, ALL FLESH AND NO FURY" I have never heard this vocal line in game before until I heard it in this video and I've been playing since release.

  • @Guitatheist
    @Guitatheist 6 ปีที่แล้ว +32

    i love how all the 10 guards get mad and yell at you when you just pick a piece of food on the table

  • @UnknownbronyChannel
    @UnknownbronyChannel 5 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    I love how the guard with all that outrage just says in end, alright that's better. XD

  • @warriorsorb1111
    @warriorsorb1111 5 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    I love how they go all bug eye when they say "THEN PAY WITH YOUR BLOOD!"

  • @GTR1997
    @GTR1997 6 ปีที่แล้ว +96

    This is the greatest channel in existence.

  • @MilekEagle
    @MilekEagle 6 ปีที่แล้ว +250

    I have much fun and laughing when i play Oblivion, but your videos are still the best :D

  • @shaddysnot9901
    @shaddysnot9901 5 ปีที่แล้ว +33

    I love the way the guard just walks out of the shadows like he has been there the hole time waiting for you to steal something.

  • @FutureAbe
    @FutureAbe ปีที่แล้ว +2

    “You elves are all the s- Pay the fine!” Lmao

  • @morgana6094
    @morgana6094 4 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    Can we just appreciate how he tries to attack you from 5 miles away?

  • @AdityaKumar-qk9xo
    @AdityaKumar-qk9xo 6 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    @1:25 Wearing Daedric armor... Your light armor skill has increased..